tA's Joe Campbell: The Truth
By Joe Campbell
2:26 PM on 7/04/2002


Hey, you.

Yep... you, sitting over there in front of your little keyboard, adjust your jam jar, coke bottle glasses for a minute, because I think you didn't see exactly who the f*expletive* you were talking to.

In case it isn't the glasses, and more that you are simply as thick as pig s*expletive*... I'll introduce myself, my name is Joe Campbell... and I run the promotion that's currently sitting a few notches below one that just closed... although with that said, I imagine we're a lot closer to climbing out of that pit of mediocrity now.

the Asylum.

That's right, don't think that your little throw the doll out of the pram session was missed, I read every word... most of it made me want to vomit, and the rest just made me shake my head.

You, my dear girl... are what we in the business call a groupie, sure... there are a lot of other words to describe a woman like you, but I think groupie does just fine for now. Who, the hell are you? To claim that you are any further above me and my boys in this business today, I say business... the pile of fake c*expletive* that you ladies and gentlemen call wrestling, is out baby. Nobody wants to see fifty year old bald men prancing around in feathers any more, they don't want some old guy shouting "Whoo!" every five minutes... they don't need some ego driven a*expletive*hole like Chris Universal pushing people like Eli Flair, who don't really have to worry about their knee's when they don't have any legitimate talent anyway.

Listen up woman, I'll teach you a few things... the last year and a half or so has been an interesting time for me, I've gone from being a man who lived in a single room apartment to a man that has seven houses, when things turn out well for you... you learn to appreciate just what you have, that... and you learn to protect it, protect is what I'm doing right now... in a sense that I'm going to take those smart remarks of yours and cram them back down your throat.

All I see is excuses, woman... to real answers, no acceptance of defeat, never underestimate the power of denial because in this case, its all you got.

Don't blame the webgeeks on this one baby, because everyone knows at the end of the day, they don't have a clue what they're talking about... these people sit on their arse and criticise things to the point that they end up criticising themselves, they aren't the problem here and they never will be. Because they don't determine what happens on the screen when things go live.

You people do.

And you need to realise that you dropped the ball on this one, the fWo didn't close because of a couple of perverts who complained on message forums between their jack off sessions, the fWo closed... because you guys didn't have the drive anymore, too old... too worn out, the product was boring people... you don't even have to be a mark to see that.

I know that you're gonna come firing back at me with some smart remarks, maybe I'll have something to say about those too... you never know when it comes to me, I do and say whatever I want... and generally do it well.

But I never did quite understand those glasses love, now I do... it must be hard to glare way up high at me and the rest of my guys, I suppose.

But enough of you, I understand that there are other none visually impaired people to entertain here, so why don't we talk a little about FightHell2?

It was a good show in my totally unbiased presidential evaluation... yeah, some of the guys got hurt pretty bad but what do you expect? We don't prance around in leotards with the usual punch and judy act, those guys earn their wages in blood, sweat and tears.

Dawn Van Dammage was pretty busted up after the show... but what do you expect, if a roid monkey bounces you up and down about twenty times, your bound to get hurt... especially with the weight of those breasts coming down on you, she could be out... you never know, but I sense that the Main Man might not be finished with her just yet.

Gwen O'Reily and Nicole Carson, what can I say... taped evidence that not all women are completely inferior and full of their own crap, they actually put on a decent fight... probably hurt themselves, but I don't care enough to find out.

I don't think we'll be seeing much of Akha again... Lotus smashed her face straight into ugly street, which considering how she looks anyway... is something spectacular.

Looks like the Syndication boys are pretty much done, which isn't so much a bad thing... I always suspected a little bit of sexual tension between those two but finally all fears have been put to rest, hopefully Hans Krueger can go it alone and show people his skills, shame Pain & Suffering had to win the bloody titles though.

Eddie Cheno Vs Providence... I won't pretend I'm not pissed, Providence has turned out to be a complete waste of my time, the guy literally never lost a match at Smil... err, somewhere... yet he comes in here and gets his arse whipped by some bong toting blue afro boy, I'm not happy... he'd better watch out or he and I will be having words.

The Mega Job Invitational... feh, I'm not even going to talk about this one, I had to laugh... I was told that the vast majority of fans watched this and that the ratings actually peaked right up with the main event, stupidest thing I ever heard.

Shadow Fire and Token Weed had another brutal war... still waiting for them to kill each other though, I should probably start paying them in guns, knifes... and sharp sticks.

Steve Christ... not much I can say about god boy, so... he won the belt, he beat Archangel, I'm also told that the injuries he suffered are very serious and he should be out of action for about a month.

Tough, he fights when I say he fights.

Gotta love the match between LLB and Hypnosis purely on the grounds that neither of these idiots won, I think I'll probably have them fight again at some stage, simply because I hate them both.

Zoe Vs Nurse? Bah.

And finally the big main event, my boy Inmate finally has the strap where it belongs... back around his waist, guy took a pretty sharp looking hit though, was out for a few minutes... I'll probably send him for some scans and an appointment with the shrink sometime this week, Nerva and A.D.? They're both hurt... can't complain about that.

That's all for now, remember smart marks... nobody cares about what you think, especially if your name is Ivy.