Enter Squiggy
The scene is a stage in front of a WFW backdrop. The camera zooms out to reveal Roderick McRatrick standing by waiting to be interviewed by...
...yep, you guessed it...
Frank Stallone.
NOT Frank Stallone: Hey, I'm not Frank Stallone!
Sorry, by former A1E interviewer and now, special guest WFW interviewer, Squiggy Jackson.
SJ: Thanks, I think.
Hey, don't mention it.
SJ: Anyway, I'm standing by with Roderick McRatrick, who's putting on rouge...
RMR: It's blush, Squiggy. Whores use rouge. High class wimmins use blush.
SJ: But that doesn't explain why you, a grown man of... of... however many years old you are...
RMR: Three-hundred twenty-six.
SJ: You can't be that old.
RMR: Yes, I am. And I can provide proof. Look, here's my birth certificate. It says I was born in 1679.
Roderick hands Squiggy a paper. Squiggy reads.
SJ: This isn't a birth certificate. It's a restraining order against you issued by Joey Fatone.
RMR: Oh, crap, well, here, how about this...
SJ: (shoving Roddy's hand out of his path) I don't want any more of your bogus documents.
RMR: But that was a real restraining order.
SJ: Sigh... I forgot what we were talking about.
RMR: Oh, we were talking about why I was applying blush.
SJ: That's right yeah... so, uh, why are you applying blush?
RMR: It's not blush, it's rouge. Only whores wear blush, I'm...
SJ: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
RMR: Sheesh, what crawled up your ass this morning? I hope it wasn't a crooked penis because I know... I mean, heard that can be...
SJ: You're not answering the question.
RMR: Come on, you get paid by the hour, right?
Right?
Squiggy's tapping his feet now.
RMR: Alright, well, if you must know, I'm doing it to throw off Rabesque. You know, make him think I'm a woman. I got the whole compact here, eyeliner, lipstick, eyeshadow, eye black...
SJ: Wait a second... eye black?
RMR: Eye black, who said eye black?
SJ: You.. never mind, what I want to know is, how are you going to throw off Rabesque by looking like a woman when you still ahve that moustache?
RMR: C'mon, he won't know the difference. He's French. French women have moustaches.
SJ: You never cease to amaze me, you know that?
RMR: That's what my parole officer said last night.
SJ: You... I... nevermind... anyway, you may need to do more than put on makeup to outfox Jean Rabesque. He's regarded as the finest technical wrestler in the world.
RMR: That's what they said about Dan Rather, and I totally kicked his ass, didn't I?
SJ: Yes you did, and you're lucky that it was on International waters, which still baffles me to this day why both of you were on the same speedboat at the same time...
RMR: Inconsequential details, you know...
SJ: No, I don't know. But what I do know is Rabesque is seriously questioning whether you'll know what you're doing in the ring.
RMR: Of course I do. I mean, I'm still the A1E Triple Star Champion...
SJ: No, I think it's been well documented that you lost that title a long time ago...
RMR: But I still have it... look...
Roderick pulls out his fake Triple Star Title... which is oddly enough pixellated by WFW TV, even though it's fake and from waht I can see behind the pixellations, in pretty bad shape.
SJ: Jesus, look, the nameplate's fallen off, there's some tomato soup crust on it and... oh my, it's not even a replica of the Triple Star Title. It's just a belt. A regular belt.
RMR: Shut up. It's my title belt, and I won it, fair and square.
SJ: You've never won anything fair and square in your entire life.
RMR: ...touchè. But seriously, Rabesque has got it all wrong here. I'm a master of wrestling. I mean, I have the most feared hold in all of wrestling at my disposal...
THE BALL VISE!
SJ: Dude, that move isn't even legal.
RMR: Well, umm, I... well I do have that other move, you know, it's that Stroke looking thingy I do, the... Backstaller... no, the BAck to the Future... umm... oh, I got it, the Backstabber, yeah, the Backstabber! That's a cool move.
SJ: Jesus, you can't even remember the name to your own finisher. Do you know any other moves?
RMR: Sure, sure I do, umm, there's the... hey, look over there, it's Paris Hilton and she's giving out free handjobs!
SJ: I'm not falling for that again.
RMR: Well.. umm... well I know plenty of other moves. It's just I don't want to give away any strategy to that Rabesque person. Not because I know he's gonna use it against me, but, you know... because he's stinky.
SJ: I... you know what, I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response more than this.
RMR: Awesome. Does that mean my interview's over? Because I need to pick up my gown from the dry cleaners and pick up a new pair of pumps.
SJ: That's just disturbing.
RMR: Thanks! I try!
And with that, Roderick's off as Squiggy sighs and the screen fades to the WFW logo.