Re: LVW High Stakes Battle Royal
(FADEIN: The ring where JERRY HARWELL, wearing a black with white pinstripes suit with a white shirt and black/white striped tie stands, the bell rings.)
HARWELL: The following contest is the LVW...HIGH STAKES BATTLE ROYAL...The winner will be the LVW CHAMPION! The rules are simple, you must go over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor to be eliminated, last man remaining is THE CHAMPION! (Crowd pops!)
HARWELL: And here is the man who drew...NUMBER...ONE!
(MUSIC UP: "Jesus Christ Superstar" as BILL BELLMOTH, wearing his all black get up walks out to loud jeering from the crowd. Bellmoth shakes his head in disgust at his horrible luck...He looks to the camer and says "Number 1...Really? every time I get in the ring some donkey has to come and anally violate me like a 12 year old virgin...F*CK this SH*T I'm never wrestling again.")
MAYES: Bellmoth as usual is all cheer and good spirits as he enters the ring.
WATERS: It's such an injustice, I can't believe this legend of wrestling has been once again screwed by management...This is an outrage!
MAYES: Bellmoth is a worthless loser and he deserves every last bit of this...
HARWELL: And here is the man who drew NUMBER...TWO!
(MUSIC UP: "Never Gonna Give You Up" By Rick Ashley as the crowd boos RICH ANDREWS as he walks to the ring, looking less then happy, his blue wrestling singlet pulled snug over his frame.)
MAYES: And here's the man who lost the most from Big Risk, Big Reward as Andrews got stuck with the #2.
WATERS: I can only hope Bellmoth makes quick work of him, we need my man fresh here!
(Harwell leaves the ring, and the bell rings! A giant clock over the entrance ramp turns on, showing the countdown from 2 minutes)
MAYES: Bellmoth and Andrews circle...Andrews with a go-behind into a waist lock...Bellmoth sits out and now Andrews is on top and has him pancaked on the mat.
WATERS: This might be effective college wrestling but it's not going to get him where he needs to go here, he's got to get Bellmoth tossed out of the ring, big dummy!
MAYES: Andrews continues to control Bellmoth on the ground and now switches from a waistlock to a headlock on Bellmoth...Bellmoth yelling, I think those sunglasses are grinding into his skull...Andrews keeping the pressure on as Bellmoth now fighting to his feet...Bellmoth sends Andrews to the ropes...Bellmoth drops down and Andrews drops back on him with a headlock! Bellmoth pounds on the mat in anger! (Crowd pops for Bellmoth's misery)
WATERS: About all this idiot has done is milk the clock, now we're gonna get another man in this thing!
(Crowd counts down from 10 as Andrews continues to keep Bellmoth headlocked, the buzzer goes off and a non-descript man, maybe 6 foot, about 20 pounds overweight, wearing a white wife beater, and faded blue jeans heads towards the ring wearing a green mask.)
MAYES: And apparently the next man in the High Stakes Battle Royal is a man in a green mask...
WATERS: I think I got better odds of winning this thing then he does
MAYES: Given that they let him in, did you draw a number?
WATERS: No comment
MAYES: Green Mask now in the ring and he's kicking away on Andrews who gets up and the two men are trading punches...Andrews moves Green Mask towards the ropes and now he's got one leg on the top rope...And another...He's about to dump him! WAIT!! BELLMOTH FROM BEHIND GRABS ANDREWS!!! HE'S THROWN THEM BOTH OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!
WATERS: What a great move! Bellmoth comes through in the big spot!
MAYES: Wait a minute! Bellmoth rolls out of the ring, and he's grabbing the LVW TItle! What is he thinking?!
BELLMOTH: WHOO! I did it! (Bellmoth rolls back into the ring) TWELVE TIME CHAMPION BABY!!! (Bellmoth climbs onto the second rope, holding the LVW Title aloft, the crowd booing loudly!)
MAYES: The Floor now in the ring fighting with Bellmoth, telling him he's not the champion.
BELLMOTH: Look, can I get a ruling from somebody higher then you on this? I mean honestly, this is a joke. I'm the only man left standing, how can I not be the champion?
FLOOR: You're not the champion, and no, you can't go over my head on this...Give me the belt now.
(Bellmoth disgustedly hands the belt to the Floor, who gets a solid "Floor!" chant, the seconds tick down.)
MAYES: And our next entrant into the High Stakes Battle Royal!
(The clock hits 0 and the MASSIVE 1248 steps onto the entranceway, Bellmoth looking like he's seen a ghost! A loud "12! 48! chant breaks out!)
MAYES: Look who's here to clean up! The security force of the Mandalay Bay, it's 1248!
WATERS: What an injustice, from being robbed of the LVW Title to now having to deal with this monster!
MAYES: 1248 in the ring now, Bellmoth...Out of the ring, he's trying to stall, trying to get more people out here, but it's not working as 1248 now gives chase! Bellmoth being chased around the ring! HE TRIPS! 1248 now stomping away on the prone Bellmoth and now throws him into the ring. 1248 now motions for the chokeslam! He's got Bellmoth by the throat...BELLMOTH KICKS HIM LOW!
WATERS: What a smart move!
MAYES: What a dirty move you mean! Bellmoth quickly fires in a series of right hands to the face of 1248 who's staggering from the shots...And now Bellmoth has him in the corner and he's trying to muscle the big man up...That isn't working at all...And now 1248 just LAUNCHES Bellmoth across the ring...1248 trying to get his wits about him, and Bellmoth in the opposite corner, bleeding clock!
WATERS: We're only 30 seconds away from another wrestler to take the heat off Bellmoth
MAYES: Or somebody who wants to finish him off...1248 with a charge into the corner, Bellmoth sidesteps the move and now starts kicking to the mid-section of the big man....Bellmoth with an eye gouge and now he's backing off, as the seconds tick down, he's hoping for help!
WATERS: C'Mon, let Bellmoth catch lucky one time...ONE TIME!
(Crowd counts down and the buzzer sounds! Stepping out from the curtain is BORN AGAIN, wearing a black sports coat over a white shirt, black pants,cut a little above the ankle to show black wrestling boots with white crosses on them. In one hand Born Again has a collection plate, in the other is a bible. He walks to the ring slowly, finally putting the plate, and bible in a corner of the ring, and then pulling out a bottle marked "Holy Water" on it from the sports jacket, which he then takes off. He runs his hands over his flowing blond hair before finally entering the ring.)
WATERS: You know this guy might just give 7-10 a run for his money on the insane scale...
MAYES: Born Again, making his debut here in LVW, and I don't know if it's really correct to say this about a man of the Lord, but he appears to be armed to the teeth. Born Again not exactly rushing to Bellmoth's aid as Bill is being choked senseless in the corner...
WATERS: Dammit...Come on Born Again! Help out the master!
MAYES: Born Again now...Praying in the corner?! Oh you have to be kidding me...1248 seems to see Born Again's delaying from entering the fray and now comes over to him...BORN AGAIN CRACKS 1248 WITH THE DONATION PLATE! 1248 staggers...ANOTHER SHOT! 1248 drops to the mat, his eyes are rolling in the back of his head!
WATERS: That's one way to handle a big maniac! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!
MAYES: 1248 and Bellmoth are down on the mat, Born Again now kneeling over 1248...He makes the sign of the cross...AND NOW HE PUTS AN IRON CLAW ON 1248!
WATERS: The laying of hands!
MAYES: Born Again, screaming incoherently! Is he speaking in tounges?! That hold is doing nothing, 1248 was out from the shots from that collection plate!
WATERS: How dare you question the ways of the Lord!
MAYES: When the hell did you become a Born Again mark?
WATERS: When he finally got off his ass and saved Bellmoth!
(Born Again finally releases the Laying On Hands after a few more moments and now begins shouting)
BORN AGAIN: What is thy will my lord?! You wish for me to remove these sinners from thy ring?! It shall be done! PRAISE THE LORD! (Crowd begins booing loud!)
MAYES: Born Again now trying to lift up the dead weight of 1248 as we're awaiting the next man in the Rumble and we know that's going to be A-Rod.
WATERS: Maybe, maybe The Captain switched with him out of a token of respect.
MAYES: I doubt that a lot
(The countdown hits 0 and A-ROD, in a white with black pinstripes uniform with an "E" over the breast makes his way to the ring,)
MAYES: A-Rod now making his way to the ring as Born Again is trying to get 1248 back to his feet...A-Rod grabs 1248 and just TOSSES him from the ring! Born Again looks horrified as he takes a couple big right hands from A-Rod...Born Again staggers...BIG BOOT BY A-ROD SENDS BORN AGAIN THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!
WATERS: He's not eliminated! He didn't go over the top!
MAYES: You're right about that! Bellmoth jumps on A-Rod's back and is trying for a sleeper...A-Rod CRUSHES him into a corner and now grabs Bellmoth by his jacket and TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!
WATERS: A-Rod cleaning house, if he can last long enough for the Captain to get out here, The Empire could have a strangle hold on this thing!
MAYES: A-Rod standing alone in the ring...Wait a second, Born Again crawling under the ring...You have to be kidding me...Fans we'll be right back!!