North American Title Finals
(Fade in on Creek Wineberg and Simon Van Helder at the announcer’s table)
VAN HELDER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to ZERO HOUR! Folks, in case you’re just tuning in, we’ve had an incredible night so far with our inaugural Pay-Per-View. I’m Simon Van Helder alongside Creek Wineberg, and what a match we’ve got lined up next.
WINEBERG: And for those of you who are just joining us … WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? Don’t you people realize that you’re watching the NEW standard in professional wrestling? What’s wrong with you freaks?
SVH: We’re trying to garner an audience, Creek, not drive them away with your bad attitude. Could we get talk about the match that’s about to take place for a minute? Our next bout will decide the first EVER Major Championship Wrestling North American Champion, so how’s about showing just a modicum of respect?
CW: Yeah, yeah. First NA champion, history in the making, blah blah blah.
SVH: I wish someone would just fire you already.
CW: Latham wouldn’t dare. I appeal so vastly to the female demographic.
SVH: The only thing vast about you, Creek, is your waistband.
CW: Ohhhh, ouch. Nice to see that you’re finally showing a little life, Van Helder.
SVH: What can I say? We’re about to crown our inaugural MCW North American Champion. I don’t know about you, but the fans here in attendance and myself are all on pins and needles.
CW: What is there to get excited about? Dakota Smith has been my favorite to win this thing all along, and I’m fully confidant he’ll have a resounding victory tonight. As a matter of fact, if he’d have signed his contract a few weeks earlier, it’d be Dakota Smith versus McMillan or Storms for the World Title later tonight.
SVH: What are you, Smith’s cheering section? Where are your pom-poms?
CW: I left them at your mom’s house. I must admit that I like Dakota Smith’s attitude. I like his style, his flair, his panache, whatever. But more than that, I believe he has a goal. His eyes are set on the NA strap. Sure, the Insurgent has looked good in the ring over the last couple of weeks, but he’s more interested in a televised soapbox for his political rhetoric than competing for championship gold in an MCW ring.
SVH: It’s true that the Insurgent has been very vocal in disseminating his political agenda during his time here in Major Championship Wrestling. He’s even gone so far as to say that he’s SOLELY interested in making his opinions known to the public. Nonetheless, he is a skilled mat technician and a dangerous competitor no matter which way you slice it. It would be a huge mistake to think that his interest in politics would keep him from putting that championship belt around his waist tonight in the Staples Center. Both men have already wrestled one match a piece earlier tonight, so they should be on fairly equal footing.
CW: I suppose only time will tell. Speaking of time, could we get on with it already? At the rate this is going I’ll be drawing Social Security before anybody wins that freakin’ belt.
SVH: I thought you were ALREADY collecting a welfare check for a “work-related back injury”, or something.
CW: SHHHHHHHHH! (agitated) What if the State Department’s watching?
SVH: Ladies and gentlemen, let’s take it to George Lear at ringside for the introductions.
(Cut to Lear, center of the ring with mic in hand)
LEAR: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and it is for the EMMMM- CEEEE-DUBBAYOUUUU NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!
(Big pop from the crowd – this is the finals, after all.)
GL: Introducing first, from Cambridge, Massachusetts … (“Imagine” by John Lennon cues up over the MCW sound system) … weighing in at TWO hundred FORTY pounds, THIS … IS … INSURRRRRRRRRRRRRRGENNNNNNNNNNNNT!
(The Insurgent appears at the top of the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He’s clad in the whole “V” getup, and makes his way straight to the ring. He largely ignores the crowd as he steps through the ropes, stripping down to his wrestling tights as Lear gets set for the next intro)
GL: And his opponent, hailing from the South Bronx and being accompanied to the ring by Rico Suave… (The house lights go down as “For Whom The Bell Tolls” by Metallica thrashes its way over the PA. The crowd immediately begins booing and jeering. Two bright spots lance out from the overhead rigging and begin to swing wildly over the crowd) … he stands SIX foot SIX inches tall, and weighs in at TWO hundred SEVENTY-FIVE pounds, he is DAAAAAAKOOOOOOTAAAAAA SSSSSMIIIIIITH!
(Smith makes his way slowly down the ramp, with Rico Suave a few steps behind. Suave is vocal with the ringside fans, hurling insults at the men and throwing winks to the ladies. Dakota, on the other hand, glares down at the ring and the waiting Insurgent)
SVH: Ladies and gentlemen, Dakota Smith has been described as a locker room cancer. There are some who believe that he, along with his father Nevada, had a hand in the closing of the popular Great Lakes Championship Wrestling promotion a few years back. They say he’s uncooperative. They say he’s hard to work with. Only time will tell if these things are true or not, but the fact remains that tonight Smith has a shot at capturing the North American title.
CW: We are crowning two champions here tonight, Simon. McMillan and Storms will meet one-on-one for the “big gold” later tonight in our main event. But no matter which of those putzes walk away with the title, neither can claim to be the FIRST champion. The standard-bearer. Whoever wins this match, however, WILL have that right.
SVH: Very true, Creek. As we all know, the first MCW world champion was Adam Benjamin …
(Wineberg, sounding a bit agitated, abruptly cuts off Simon Van Helder)
CW: Don’t you mention that name! Adam Benjamin broke my heart when he walked out on this promotion! He didn’t get his way, so he quit.
SVH: Funny, that sounds just like something YOU would do.
(Cut to Dakota Smith and Insurgent in the ring. The referee has managed to keep them in separate corners, and they seem to be waiting for something. The camera cots to the ramp as gold spots shoot down from overhead. The curtain parts, and two ring girls chock full of silicon and botox appear at the top of the ramp. Carried between them is the brand-new North American Title Belt. The crowd pops huge, though whether it is over the belt or the boobies is unclear.)
SVH: Wow! Take a look at that belt, Creek! What a fantastic looking prize for the winner of this historic match.
CW: Forget the belt, get an eyeful of them jubblies!
SVH: Those breasts contain more synthetic material than the belt itself. Could we please stay focused on the task at hand?
(The four boobies make their way to the ring, followed closely by their accompanying women and, of course, the championship strap. They make their way into the ring, hand the belt over to the referee, and give the crowd a Barbie wave’n’smile on their way out. The ref raises the belt high overhead to another big pop from those in attendance. He hands the belt out to a tech as he calls for the bell. SFX: DING DING DING!)
SVH: Here we go! It’s Insurgent versus Dakota Smith with Rico Suave at ringside! Tonight they fight for the right to be called the FIRST EVER MCW North American Champion. The bell has sounded, and this one is underway! Insurgent and Smith are circling, pacing the ring. Each man looking for an opening in their opponent’s defense …
CW: It’s a smart tactical move on Dakota’s part, feeling out the opponent. It’s probably cowardice on the part of the Insurgent. He just doesn’t want to lock up with the next … first … MCW NA champ.
SVH: I highly doubt that, Creek. Both of these men are powerfully built. Both are skilled competitors. Insurgent is an astute mat technician who doesn’t miss a trick. Dakota Smith has a martial arts background, and no small technical skill of his own. Smith has the size advantage, but I believe that this match could truly go either way.
(Wineberg scoffs at Van Helder as the two men lock up in the center of the ring)
SVH: A classic start to this match with the collar-and-elbow tie-up. Both men jockeying for position, but Smith gets the upper hand, as he pops the hips for a shoulder throw! Nice judo takedown by Dakota Smith, but the Insurgent hooks a heel and Dakota Smith quickly joins him on the mat. Both men quickly back to their feet, and OHHHH! Bad form by Dakota Smith, who just SLAPPED the masked wrestler across the mouth! (SFX: Crowd buzzing)
CW: THAT’S the attitude I was talking about. That’s what’s going to carry Dakota on to victory.
SVH: Could we please have just a little unbiased commentary from you?
CW: Hey, I resent that. I’m not biased, I love black people.
SVH: You are truly an idiot.
(Cut to the ring, where Insurgent has recovered from the nasty slap of Dakota Smith. Rico parades around at ringside, looking mighty pleased with himself. Insurgent heaves himself at Smith, spearing the hell out of him before laying in the heavy right hands)
CW: Maybe I was a bit too hasty. That spear looked like enough to force a load into Dakota’s tights, and now he’s straight up laying the SMACKDOWN on Dakota!
SVH: Please don’t plug the competition. Those hard right hands are a departure from Insurgent’s usual technical style, but you can’t blame him after that blatant show of disrespect by Dakota Smith. Smith is trying to roll away from the fists of the Insurgent, but Insurgent quickly slaps on a key lock and begins working the arm of Dakota Smith. That’s known as a Kimura lock in MMA circles, a highly effective joint lock, but LOOK AT THIS!
(Cut to ringside, where Dakota Smith is being punished by the painful hold. Rico reaches into the ring to place Smith’s foot on the ropes)
SVH: Rico with the assist, but the ref didn’t see it, and now he’s forcing Insurgent to break the hold! (Crowd boos, of course)
CW: I knew there was some reason that Dakota kept him around!
SVH: The ref backs Insurgent off, and Smith heads to the outside to regroup. Insurgent tries to follow him out, but the ref is admonishing him to keep it in the ring and the crowd doesn’t like it one bit.
(The referee begins the 10-count … ONE!)
CW: Whether the fans like it or not, it’s smart wrestling by Dakota Smith. A time honored tactic.
(TWO!)
SVH: Smith is taking a moment to confer with Rico Suave … I’m not even sure that man should be allowed at ringside.
(THREE!)
SVH: Dakota Smith rolls back into the ring, and here comes Insurgent to meet him! Smith fires off a right hand, blocked by Insurgent, who answers with a BLISTERING knife-edge chop! (SFX: WOOOOOOOOOO!) Front facelock by the Insurgent, who brings Dakota Smith crashing down to the mat with a crisp snap suplex! Floatover into the cover, he hooks the leg … one, two, and a kickout by Smith.
CW: There’s no sense in going for the cover now, Simon. It’s way to early to think you can put away a competitor like Dakota Smith.
SVH: A smart wrestler will go for the cover at any opportunity, as you should well know. Insurgent now, bringing Smith back to his feet … front facelock applied by Insurgent ... and now he’s got the near arm chickenwinged?!? What are we going to see here? (SFX: Crowd pops) HAMMERLOCK DDT BY THE INSURGENT! I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that particular move before. Smith’s head was drilled into the mat, and the Insurgent has maintained that hammerlock! That left arm of Dakota Smith was already worked over by that key lock earlier on, and now Insurgent is bridging over the back of Smith to REALLY put some pressure behind that hold.
CW: Innovative wrestling by the Insurgent. I guess there really is more to him than just a big Al Franken complex.
(Cut to the center of the ring. Smith is face first on the mat, his arm twisted behind him in a hammerlock. Insurgent is bridged backwards over the body of Smith, wrenching the hold. Dakota reaches blindly for the ropes, but he’s a good foot-and-a-half short.)
SVH: Smith needs to escape that hold, but there’s no way he can move to the ropes from that position! He’s looking desperately for an out … and he found it! He hooked the heel of Insurgent and pulled his foot out from under him … Insurgent lost his grip on that hammerlock, and now the tables have turned! Inside cradle by Smith, the ref powerslides, ONE, TWO, and a kickout by Insurgent!
(Both men quickly make it to their feet and lock up in the center of the ring. Insurgent takes a knee and brings Smith down with a fireman’s carry takedown)
SVH: Insurgent brings Dakota Smith down to the mat, and quickly applies a short arm scissor to that left arm of Smith!
CW: You know, I suppose I’ve got to hand it to Insurgent. He’s picked his target, and so far he’s been relentless in perusing it.
SVH: Another painful submission hold applied to Dakota Smith, but … OH NO! (SFX: Crowd jeering) Smith broke that hold with a thumb to the THROAT of the Insurgent. What a dirty trick!
CW: But you can’t argue with it’s effectiveness! The second it looked like Smith might be in trouble he took things to the extreme. This is a man who will do ANYTHING to secure a win!
SVH: That’s what he claims, but the Insurgent might just have something to say about that!
CW: Insurgent is too busy having his throat crushed to say much of anything!
SVH: Insurgent is staggered from that thumb to the larynx, and here comes Smith! Hard Irish whip forces Insurgent into the ropes, Smith off the far side, and (crowd pops) SMITH TAKES A KNEE AND DRIVES HIS FIST STRAIGHT INTO THE HEART OF INSURGENT! An old-school heart punch by Smith, and I thought that move was outlawed back in the 80’s.
CW: Hey, this is MCW. We’re progressive. Besides, wasn’t the piledriver outlawed? Closed fists? Throwing a wrestler over the top rope? Times change, you crazy Dutch bastard.
SVH: Be that as it may, Smith used his Flatliner heart punch with devastating effect. He SHOULD be looking for the cover, but I guess he’s decided there are more important things to do.
(Cut to Insurgent on the mat, clutching at his chest. Dakota Smith stands over him, looking down at the Insurgent with disdain. Smith plugs one nostril with his finger and exhales hard, shooting a wad of snot at the prone figure of Insurgent)
SVH: Now that’s just reprehensible. Not to mention unsanitary.
CW: Hey, now. Weren’t you just complaining a little while ago about unbiased commentary?
SVH: Creek, this match should be one for the books. It should be a contest of skill and willpower to determine our inaugural North American champion. What Dakota Smith just did to the Insurgent wasn’t wrestling, it’s just plain mean-spiritedness. So yeah, I suppose I might be a little biased. I’d hate to see this company represented by a man like Dakota Smith, who without a doubt would use his influence as the NA champion to undermine both the staff and talent of this company.
CW: So you’d rather see the title go to a man who treats our very government with the same lack of respect?
SVH: Yes, the Insurgent has been very politically outspoken. I don’t necessarily share his views. I don’t always approve of anything he has to say. But at least he has conviction. At least he stands for something. At least he wouldn’t actively work to bring this company down!
CW: And what proof do you have that Dakota Smith would do something like that? All you’ve got to go on is locker room scuttlebutt.
SVH: I suppose you’ve got a fair point this time, oh rotund one.
(Cut to the ring. Suave is downright ecstatic, jumping up and down and cheering for Dakota, spittle flying in all directions. Smith brings Insurgent back to his feet and measures him carefully before driving a fist into the temple of Insurgent. Insurgent goes down, but to the delight of the fans quickly rebounds to his feet. SFX: Big pop)
SVH: OH MY! It looks like the Insurgent just got his second wind! Smith with another hard right, and he quickly locks in an inverted facelock! A foot to the back of the Insurgent’s knee drops Insurgent to a kneeling position, and Smith has applied that patented modified dragon sleeper!
CW: He calls that the Protraction. Isn’t that what we used to figure out angles and stuff in math class?
SVH: That would be a protractor, Mr. Dictionary. Call it a dragon sleeper, call it Protraction, you could call it Jim Bob the Wonder Hold for all I care. No matter what you call it, it’s a devastating hold that will sap a man’s will to fight very quickly, but the Insurgent is not ready to give up yet!
(Insurgent is held fast by the submission attempt. He reaches up and quickly pulls the knot on the laces of his mask. Smith takes a second to adjust his grip on Insurgent’s head. Almost like an optical illusion, Insurgent suddenly spins himself around, snatches a waistlock, and delivers a stiff bridging Northern Lights suplex to a HUGE reaction from the crowd! The referee slides in for the count, but Rico drags the ref out of the ring by his feet)
SVH: What in the WORLD just happened? Somehow Insurgent escaped that hold and countered with a vicious suplex … let’s take a look at that again …
(Cut to the instant replay. Insurgent pulls the laces on his mask. The second that Smith tries to adjust his position, Insurgent makes his move. The loosened mask allows him to spin himself around from an inverted facelock to a front facelock and deliver the Northern Lights, but now his mask is on backwards!)
SVH: That’s certainly a unique counter to that hold, but now Insurgent can’t see! Rico interrupted the count, but I don’t think Insurgent knows that. He’s holding that bridge for all he’s worth, waiting for a bell that isn’t going to ring!
CW: HAH! I knew Smith kept that Rico dude around for a reason.
SVH: Rico is supposed to be a “journalist”, but I don’t see him writing a damn thing. He may have just cost the Insurgent the NA title, however.
(Insurgent finally realizes something is amiss and releases the pin. Smith rolls slowly out of the ring as Insurgent tries desperately to turn his mask back around.)
SVH: Insurgent has finally gotten that mask back around, and NOW he sees Rico on the outside arguing with the referee! I think the Insurgent knows exactly what just happened!
CW: Run, Rico!
SVH: He’d better run! He may have just screwed the Insurgent out of the win! Insurgent to the outside, and he’s got RICO HOOKED UUUUUP … (SFX: POP!) INVERTED DOUBLE-ARM DDT! INSURGENT JUST MURDERED RICO ON THE OUTSIDE!
CW: They call that the Unprettier in the fed-that-must-not-be-named, but I don’t think Rico cares much what it’s called right now! Insurgent just made an omelette out of Rico’s brains!
(Having taken a breather on the opposite side of the ring, Dakota Smith slides back in and quietly slips over to the near side. The Insurgent is busy giving a vicious dressing-down to the unconscious carcass of Rico Suave, and doesn’t see Smith. Insurgent rolls back into the ring and rises, coming right into the waiting arms of Dakota Smith!)
SVH: Insurgent just got caught with his pants down! Smith hoists him up onto his shoulders aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd DOWNNNNNNN! OH MY GOD! SITOUT CRADLE BODYSLAM DRIVER! (SFX: Crowd “Oooooooohs”) I’ve heard that referred to as the Cradle Shock. It looks to be a modified Towerhacker bomb, and that has GOT to be the end of this match!
CW: Insurgent took his eyes off the prize, and now he’s paying the price! Dakota just delivered the Megadeth!
SVH: The ref goes quickly into the count, ONE, TWOOOOOOO, THREEEENOOOOO! NO! NO! THAT DODN’T GET IT DONE! Somehow Insurgent was able to kick out!
CW: He can’t have anything left, though! It’s like when a coma patient opens their eyes for a minute – pure reflex! The last few firings of scrambled synapses!
(Smith has a look of absolute shock on his face, along with everyone in the crowd. Insurgent is still down, lying motionless in the center of the ring. Smith stares down at Insurgent, his face going red)
SVH: Dakota Smith has got to be wondering what it’s going to take to put away the Insurgent. He’s unloaded some devastating moves, but the Insurgent is still able to kick out!
(Smith stands in the center of the ring, glaring daggers at Insurgent. He abruptly rolls out of the ring, flings up the apron, and roots around under the ring)
SVH: What is he doing now? I don’t like the looks of this one bit!
(Smith comes back up with … a BALL PEEN HAMMER and rolls back into the ring)
SVH: Oh no! OH NO! If Dakota Smith has any ounce of decency, and ounce of HUMANITY, he will NOT use that hammer!
CW: This is gonna be great!
(The referee is admonishing Dakota Smith, clearly telling him that he’ll be disqualified if he doesn’t get rid of the hemmer. Smith responds by blasting the ref with the hammer. The crowd is freaking out!)
SVH: OH MY GOD! Smith just dropped the ref like a pole axed steer, and now he’s advancing toward the prone body of the Insurgent, and you can bet he’s got EVIL intentions on his mind … (SFX: ULTRA MEGA SUPER TILT-A-WHIRL INVERTED FLAMING JAPANESE DEATH POP!!!!!) THE INSURGENT WAS PLAYING OPPOSSUM! SMITH WAS ABOUT TO STRIKE WITH THAT HAMMER, BUT INSURGENT COUNTERED WITH A DROP TOEHOLD ONTO THAT BALL PEEN HAMMER!
CW: Nobody expected that, Dutch boy! Smith is busted wide open … and would you please stop screaming now?
SVH: Sorry, but can you blame me? The level of excitement in this arena is tremendous.
CW: Yeah, now that we just saw Dakota’s chance at winning the title slip away!
SVH: Like the song says, when playing with fire you’re bound to get burned! Smith introduced that hammer into the match, and he paid for it! Blood is flowing freely from the head of Smith, and Insurgent is making it back to his feet!
(Cut to the ref, also bleeding, lying motionless in the corner of the ring)
SVH: The referee has been taken out of this matchup for the time being by a vicious hammer blow by Dakota Smith. Smith himself doesn’t look to be getting up any time soon, but the Insurgent is! Insurgent struggling back to his feet, and he’s slowly making his way over to Dakota Smith! Insurgent is battered! Insurgent is weary! Insurgent is also the only man on his feet, and that North American title is now within his grasp! He’s got Dakota by the hair, bringing him back to his vertical base … Insurgent with an Irish whip into the ropes, Smith off the far side, go-behind by Insurgent … COBRA CLUTCH! COBRA CLUTCH! Insurgent has applied to Cobra Clutch in the center of the ring, and Smith is in a WORLD of trouble now!
(SFX: Crowd is LOUD!)
CW: I hate to say it, but it looks like this is the swan song for Dakota Smith’s NA title hopes! He’s busted wide open, and it looks like Insurgent has him set up for his finishing maneuver!
SVH: He does indeed! Smith is fading under the pressure of that Cobra Clutch, and now Insurgent has snaked the leg in …. PATRIOT ACT! COBRA CLUTCH RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! Smith just came crashing to the mat! Insurgent makes the cover, but the ref is still out!
CW: HAH! There might just be hope yet!
(Insurgent breaks the cover, leaving a bloodied and motionless Dakota in the center of the ring. Insurgent crawls over to the ref and begin to prod, poke, fold, spindle, and manipulate the referee in an attempt to wake him up, but the ref just flops lifelessly. Suddenly the crowd EXPLODES as someone comes flying through the curtain and down the ramp!)
SVH: That’s … that’s … JUSTIN SANE! Justin Sane was eliminated from this tournament earlier tonight by Dakota Smith, and now he’s looking for some payback!
CW: Leave Dakota alone! Hasn’t he been through enough already?
SVH: Wait! I don’t think Justin Sane has Smith in his sights after all! He’s hit the ring, and it looks like he’s heading for the Insurgent! What the hell is going on?
(Justin Sane grabs Insurgent by the shoulder and spins him around. They stand face-to-face for a moment before sane flips Insurgent the double bird!)
SVH: Justin Sane was knocked out of the running for the NA title earlier tonight by Dakota Smith, but for some reason he seems to have Insurgent in his sights now! Irish whip by Sane, Insurgent off the far side now … springboard by Justin Sane into a FLYING NECKBREAKER! MY GOD!
(The crowd is PISSED! Lots of cheering, lots of jeering, lots of noise)
SVH: For whatever reason, Justin Sane just laid out the Insurgent! What a foul act by Justin Sane!
CW: Who cares what the reason is? Sane just saved Dakota’s bacon!
(SFX: Loud, LOUD boos from the crowd as Sane rolls Dakota Smith onto the prone body of the Insurgent. Sane rolls out of the ring just in time for a replacement referee to hit the ring. The replacement ref sees the cover and drops for the count)
SVH: NO! NO! DON’T LET IT END THIS WAY! ONE! TWOOOOO! THREEEEE!
(SFX: DING DING DING!)
GL: Here is your winner, and NEWWWW EMMMM CEEEE DUBBYOUUUUU NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION …….. DAAAAAAAAAKOOOOOOOOTAAAAAAAAA SMIIIIIIIITH! (“For Whom The Bell Tolls blares out over the PA again.)
SVH: DAMMIT! What a damn, dirty finish! What a way to tarnish what should have been a proud moment in the annals of MCW history! What a crock of BULL!
CW: I love it! I LOVE IT! Dakota Smith said he would win at all costs, and that’s exactly what he did!
(Cut to the center of the ring, where a bloodied and disoriented Dakota Smith is just now rising to his feet. EMT’s hit the ring to remove and care for Insurgent as Dakota Smith slumps in the corner, catching his breath. A groggy but grinning Rico enters the ring, and presents the North American title to Smith.)
SVH: Like it or not, folks, Dakota Smith is the first ever MCW North American Titleholder, and it makes me SICK.
(SFX: Feedback as Justin Sane snatches the mic from the ring announcer)
JUSTIN SANE: Hey, cut the music. I said CUT THE DAMN MUSIC! (The music fades out slowly as Rico and Dakota Smith stare down from inside the ring) Listen up, Dakota. You might have beat me tonight and knocked me out of the tournament, but you better recognize that if it wasn’t for ME, that belt would be around Cap’n America’s waist right now instead of yours.
(The crowd doesn’t like any of this one bit, and they make sure that everyone knows it. Smith and Rico talk a little trash back at Sane, but we can’t quite make it out without a mic)
JS: So seeing as how you won that belt because of ME, I think it’s only fair that you’re first title defense should be against ME. I am the new number one contender whether anybody likes it or not! I DEMAND a shot at that belt, and I expect an answer next week on Center Stage!
SVH: Or what, Sane? You gonna sic Hugh Hefner on him?
(Sane throws down the mic and saunters away from ringside. Smith and Rico both look a little shell-shocked, staring after him as he walks away. Cut to Simon Van Helder and Creek Wineberg at the announcer’s table)
SVH: Ladies and gentlemen … well, I just don’t know what to say after what we’ve witnessed here.
CW: I do! We have a new … a FIRST North American Champion!
SVH: (with a sigh and a shake of his head) We’ve got to take a short break, folks. Stay with us, we’ll be right back.
(Fade to a promotional video for the Zero Hour Main Event...)
