PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
(On the Big Screen Live to the Crowd At Disneyland)
The rhythmic sounds of a beat that could only be done by Fabolous are heard slightly in the background as our camera opens up to an automobile wheel spinning down the street. The wheel keeps spinning until the beat cuts out and a chorus of girls is heard saying “Damn”.
The wheels then come to a stop. The camera pulls back to reveal a long, black limousine. As the camera makes its way to the ever-so-long end of the limo, the back door opens. The first thing we see is a finely polished black wingtip shoe. The body then emerges.
Blonde hair eclipses the top of the door, followed by black sunglasses. The glistening white of his teeth meet the camera before his elegantly tailored black suit piers out from behind the car door. He fastens one of the buttons on his jacket as he begins to walk down the sidewalk.
Shane: Word has it that World’s Finest Wrestling is in need of star power.
I mean…
Beast, Dan Ryan, Joey Melton, Michael Manson…
Sure, those guys may pull in about eighty percent of the arena.
But what’s eighty percent when you can make one signing that’s sure to sell out even the biggest of stages?
Shane continues to walk down the street as a young blonde walks past. He quickly does a double take as he watches her progress the other way.
Shane: That extra twenty percent?
Those 4,000 and some odd tickets mean maximum revenue for the WFW.
And that’s just something they couldn’t pass up.
That’s when they picked up the phone and made the call.
They wanted the extra ticket sales, the extra merchandise sales, the higher Pay-Per-View buyrate.
And that’s what they got with one, single, SENSATIONAL signing.
Shane pulls his sunglasses off and gives a huge smile to the camera.
Shane: But to Steven Shane, the WFW is just another place for him to make his mark on the industry that he’s made into his life.
Growing up in Hollywood with these good looks? Hell, I could any kind of acting job I want. Even before I started wrestling, Denzel Washington would call, begging for a lunch with The Sensational One.
You see, you don’t get far in this world walking around looking like you just stepped out of the BALCO test lab like a Dan Ryan.
Women don’t melt at their knees for bald-headed rage-o-holics like ol’ Beastie Boy.
This country is all about using what looks best. Looks mean everything in this beautiful country of “get rich quick” and “cover your own ass”.
And it just so happens that Steven Shane has the capabilities to do both.
Neither Hollywood nor the world of wrestling could turn down a gorgeous smile and rock-hard abs like these.
And all at the same time, no one in that wrestling ring can deny the physical talents that come along with these sensationally good looks.
No one here in the WFW can say that they have both the looks and the talent to kill like “Sensational” Steven Shane. No one.
But here I am. Right in the grand scheme of things. Ready to single-handedly take over World’s Finest Wrestling quicker than Anna Nicole on a fruitcake.
Wait…
Shane gives a look to the sky as he scratches his head.
Shane: Never mind that.
The fact is that the Dan Ryans, the Joey Meltons, and the Felix Reds can all now realize that they’re about to stop living their dreams of being the big dogs on campus here in WFW.
Because Steven Shane is about to change everything they know about the sport of wrestling and maybe even teach them a thing or two about looks while he’s at it.
Just remember that the next time you see a pretty face in that ring, he may pack a hell of a punch.
But only if his name is Steven Shane.
And that, guidos, is your truly SENSATIONAL introduction of the man known as “Sensational” Steven Shane.
Shane continues walking, gives a smile, and places his sunglasses back on his face as the camera fades to black.
(COMMERCIAL)