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Wave of Mutilation

GreggG

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(CUT TO: A wrestling ring looms in the background, with the banner of FIVE STAR GYMNASIUM on it. Standing in the foreground are TSUNAMI-- his mask torn, wearing a one-piece full body singlet that makes him look like an X-Men reject, and WILDSTAR-- wearing his traditional European singlet. CUE UP: The frantic opening riffs of "Wave of Mutilation" by The Pixies.)

STAR: In a few short months, you will once again see the duo that unleashed to you high-flying action, wrestling acumen and all-around greatness nightly for the better part of a decade. Yes, in a few short months you will see the Dawn of a New Day of some... (does the FIVE STAR HAND GESTURE) FIVE STAR WRESTLING back here in the CSWA... but until that day officially comes, what you have to deal with is a man who is riding a wave of mutilation.

NAMI: DON'T WALK! TELEPHONE! ALERT! ALERT! DANGERMAN! DANGERMAN!

STAR: (Squints in curiosity at Tsunami.) Y'see, I've known this man for years. Saw him wrestle in Japan as a mere teenager. Saw him enter the CSWA barely old enough to drive. And I saw him do what no one else in this sport currently wrestling can say that they did-- and that's REVOLUTIONIZE and industry. Tables and ladders and chairs, oh my... when I was coming up, those weren't exactly commonplace. To get a contract as a wrestler, you either had to have a lot of steroids or a lot of friends-- sometimes a little bit of both. Only a handful of us were world-class athletes. There wasn't a lot of money being tossed around to undersized, Japanese 20-year-olds who couldn't speak any English.

NAMI: ALERT! ALERT! SPACE FLYING FIRE MAN! ADLER-SAN! ADLER-SAN! CARIIBOOUUUUUUUU! ALERT!

STAR: (Again curiously looks at 'Nami.) So, in order to make a name for himself, what did this man right here do? He did whatever it took to get ahead, whatever it took to win a match. If that meant he had to fly off the top rope and risk life-threatening injuries, he did just that. If that meant he had to crash onto the concrete from the skies above to win a match, he did just that. If that meant he flew through a table, brawled in a crowd or used any weapons he could get his hands on... he did that. He had a heart of black... but it was the biggest heart in this sport.

NAMI: ALERT! DANGERMAN! DON'T WALK! TELEPHONE! SPIDERFACEDOGBOY!

STAR: (Again looks at his partner with curiosity.) He was the youngest. He was the smallest. He was a CSWA World Champion-- and along the way, he showed the wrestling world that it wasn't the size of the man that you fought that mattered... it was the size of the fight in the man. So the violence and tactics you see today? All are because of THIS MAN.

NAMI: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHTSSSUUUUUNAMI.

STAR: (Again looks over his shoulder, brow furrowed.) In a few weeks time, we will once again form our partnership to not just destroy Tom Adler, the <> Cutters et all... we will also once again start a revolution of destruction in this sport. Once again, you will all ride our Wave of Mutilation. Once again, the New Day will Dawn. And what better way to usher in this new era by crowning Tsunami a two-time CSWA World Champion.

NAMI: ATTACK! ATTACK! ALERT! ALERT! DESTROY ALL ENEMY! DESTROY ALL ENEMY! (FTB)
 

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