Unleashed 2013: Arlington, Texas - 5/10/13

[DBrunkGXW]

PROLOGUE


[FADEIN on Dan Ryan's home office inside his palatial Texas mansion. It's the mansion so big that the entire state of Texas fits inside the family room.

Seriously.

The Boss is looking over some paperwork, looking mighty bored in the process, when there's a knock at the door.]

RYAN: Enter.

[Alaina Troy-Ryan opened the door and peeked inside.]

ALAINA: Your appointment is here.

RYAN: Good, good. I'm ready.

[Alaina left the door open and walked away, while someone entered the room. We don't see who it is, though Dan Ryan stood up, shook the person's hand, and gave them a hug.]

RYAN: Good to see you again. Any trouble finding the place?

VOICE: None. Although I don't know how anyone could miss this place.

[Ryan chuckled.]

RYAN: How's the family?

VOICE: We can get to that, Danno. I'd prefer to get business outta the way first.

RYAN: Fair enough. I got your proposal, and while I'm intrigued and interested, I'm also inquisitive. What's your angle?

VOICE: What do you mean?

RYAN: Why here? Why now?

VOICE: why not?

RYAN: I'm serious.

[The voice laughed.]

VOICE: Why here? Because we don't have any real history here. Why now? Because we aren't done yet.

[Silence.]

RYAN: Not done? What, you haven't peaked yet?

VOICE: You know how it goes. You think you've accomplished everything, and then something happens that makes you wonder.

RYAN: So you're here to silence the voices of self - doubt?

VOICE: Something like that. I just hope Aaron Jones can deal with the loss and build himself up after Unleashed into a contender.

RYAN: See, that's what I like about you guys. You can be total assholes and be concerned about your fellow wrestler all at the same time. And I dare say I don't think I've ever met anyone else who can pull both off without looking like a flip flopping douche.

VOICE: Silly Ryan... don't you know we don't follow the rules?

 

[DBrunkGXW]

INTRO

[MUSIC UP: “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse.]

V/O: What does it mean to be Unleashed?

[Jump cuts from Adrian Willard, Boogie Smallz, Christian Light, Rezin and Rich Mahogany.]

To fight against a mob of men for a chance at glory. To embrace a battle where enemies come at you from all sides?

[Cuts between Sean Stevens and Cameron Cruise]

To fight in a match with no rules, no order, destroy or be destroyed is the only law.

[Cuts between Anarky and MJ2, followed by cuts between Dirk Dickwood Presents and the Animezing Dragons.]

Violence between the old guard and the new.

[Cuts between Rocko Daymon and Sean Stevens]

Between a returning legend and a man hungry to make a name for himself.

[Cuts between Impulse and The First]

Between a man who seeks his destiny and a man who believes he controls it.

This is Unleashed…This…Is the Empire.

[EPW Logo, quick cut to the Ballpark in Arlington, pyro exploding as the crowd roars. The camera does a sweeping shot of the stadium before finally going to the broadcast table. Where all three men are dressed up, with Dean Thomas and Dean Matthews in black jackets with matching ties, Dave with a blue shirt, Dean with white. Mike Neely has a cream colored jacket on, white shirt with no tie.]

DT: Welcome everyone to the Ballpark…Welcome to UNLEASHED! What a show we got for you…All the titles on the line, Aaron Jones fighting a man who claims he isn’t Dis but he’ll have a Dis like impact here in EPW and Rocko Daymon’s return to the Empire…

DM: This is a night of action that will go down in history and the match that has everyone talking, EPW World Title on the line, The First defending against Impulse.

MN: Ugh, I can’t think of two guys I hate more, I hope the ring falls apart and swallows them both whole.

DT: While Neely might be upset about it, these fans have picked the man they are backing and I think this Ballpark is ready to see a new champion crowned tonight in Impulse.

[Camera pans to the front row were four large men are seated.]

DM: This is true but we all know full well what The First’s plan for this evening is, he’s picked up a bunch of men from his friend’s wrestling school and made it clear that they are his back-up for this match.

DT: First’s made it clear he’ll stoop to any level to retain that title, we’ll see how it all shakes out, but now we got the opening match of the show ready to roll…

[Bell rings, crowd pops!]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Team VIAGRA v. Wolves of the Sea

[CUE UP: “I Hope You Die” by the Bloodhound Gang. Tony Davis and Jack Hamen peer through the entrance curtain at the top of the ramp, turning towards each other and nodding before jumping out in unison. Massive pyro shoots out from the entrance ramp as the crowd pops loudly for Team V.I.A.G.R.A. and they run their way towards the ring.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for ONE FALL! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 481 pounds…TONY DAVIS! JACK HARMEN! TEEEEEEEEEEEAM…VIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAGRAAAAAAAA!

DT: Folks, we have a potentially SHOW-STEALING MATCH to start off EPW Unleashed! Everyone and their grandmother knows how strong of a team Harmen and Davis are, and they are sure to bring one hell of a fight into tonight’s opening bout!

MN: Lest we forget, Dave – Tony Davis has been arguably the biggest sandbagging slump-holder in all of EPW the last few months. He cost his team in the King of the Cage tournament, and he couldn’t get it done against Karl Brown and Aaron Jones when he was solo. You gotta figure that this team has some major, MAJOR cracks in the armor that can get exploited tonight.

DT: You may be right, Neely, but the fact remains – Harmen is a bona-fide Hall of Famer in his own right. He and Davis have been a cohesive unit for YEARS. This is a team that’s fought through adversity for a long time, and especially on some of the big stages over the years!

MN: Have they done it here? In EPW? Because if you haven’t done it here, it doesn’t MATTER what your resume says.

DM: We can’t sell either team short tonight – it’s going to come down to who can get that one last, big move. Both teams are electric. Both teams are hungry. Both teams have a lot to prove, and both teams are beloved by this massive North Texas crowd!

[CUE UP: “Wolves of the Sea” by Alestorm. Highlights of Syd Morgan and Jameson Murdock flash across the jumbotron before giving way to a great Jolly Roger on the screen…followed by a HUGE Jolly Roger ship that pushes its way into the entrance ramp to a huge pop from the crowd. Syd and Jameson hang off ropes dangling from the mast of the ship, Jameson swinging a cutlass in the air and both giving raucous yells to the crowd.]

TF: And their opponents…weighing in at a combined weight of 435 pounds…SYD MORGAN! JAMESON MURDOCK! The WOLLLLLLLVES of the SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!

DT: Would you take a look at THAT! Wolves of the Sea are certainly making one HELL of an entrance here tonight!

DM: And why not? They’re one of the most entertaining tag teams of this generation!

MN: Is that…is that a real cutlass? Are those legal?

DM: We ARE in Texas.

MN: Fair point.

DT: The Wolves look just as energized as Team V.I.A.G.R.A., if not more so! Two of the most entertaining and innovative tag teams in the business, facing off right here, right now! What more could a fan want?

MN: Triple X destroying these fools. Or maybe MJ2.

DT: Syd Morgan and Tony Davis look to be the first ones in the ring, and Tony Fatora signals for the bell! We are underway!

[The crowd erupts as the bell rings, both teams’ big men standing toe to toe. They begin a collar-and-elbow tie up, with DAVIS quickly reaching around for a headlock on MORGAN. MORGAN quickly wraps his arms around the waist of DAVIS and connects with a side suplex! DAVIS bounces up and lands a few quick right hands to MORGAN before attempting a German Suplex. It gets blocked by and quickly transitioned into a Snapmare, followed by a stiff kick to the back.]

DT: Syd Morgan with the early advantage here! He’s a bit quicker, and he’s looking to deal as much early damage as possible! A second kick to the back! A third – NO! Davis rolls underneath the swinging leg of Morgan and hits him with a BIG knife edge chop! Another! Another! Davis backs Morgan into the corner –sends him across with an Irish Whip! Comes charging hard across the ring –NOTHING BUT TURNBUCKLE!

DM: Went for that big move too early once again!

DT: Davis looks a bit dazed, and here’s Morgan’s chance to strike! A big right hand, and another – sends him into the ropes! Irish Whip – reversal –Davis ducks down, telegraphed too soon! Morgan stops right in his tracks and plants Tony Davis with a BIG TIME DDT! Here’s an early cover! One, two and he kicks out!

MN: Tony Davis is doing the same thing he’s done the last few weeks, only at a quicker pace – he’s letting the heat of the moment get to him, and he’s getting himself caught in big moves!

DT: You may be right, Neely, as Morgan lifts a groggy Davis up off the ground – Belly to Belly Suplex! Davis went FLYING across the ring there! Here comes a tag to Jameson Murdock, and he wastes no time climbing to the top turnbuckle!

[MURDOCK flies across the ring for a big Missile Drop Kick to Davis, which garners another two count. DAVIS begins to motion for his partner, HARMEN, who himself is reaching as far as humanly possible over the top rope to get a tag. MURDOCK wastes no time, going for several swift kicks to the chest and arms of a slowly-rising DAVIS before running towards the ropes for a Springboard Cross Body, which connects for another two count. DAVIS gets up a bit quicker this time, with a glint of anger in his eyes. MURDOCK does not notice this and charges towards the ropes for another springboard maneuver, before getting caught in midair by DAVIS and sent crashing awkwardly with a Fallaway Slam.]

DT: OUCH!! It looks like Tony Davis had enough with Murdock’s shenanigans!

DM: That’s the veteran instinct of Davis – Murdock went to the well one too many times, and Davis made sure he paid for that mistake.

MN: You call it a mistake, and I call it…well, a mistake. That was pretty stupid by Murdock.

DT: Excellent insight as always. Davis has Murdock now, lifts him up in the air! He’s delaying the vertical suplex, and would you listen to this North Texas crowd!

[The entire stadium resonates with a loud “OOOOOOH!” before DAVIS sends MURDOCK crashing to the ground with his signature delayed vertical suplex. DAVIS looks generally tired and heads to his corner, where he tags in HARMEN. HARMEN, realizing the effectiveness of his opponents’ earlier tactics, heads straight to the top turnbuckle and careens across the ring with a flying clothesline to MURDOCK. He goes for a quick cover, which MURDOCK kicks out of at two.]

DT: High Flyer himself, Jack Harmen is here in the ring, and the crowd loves seeing this living legend at work!

MN: That’s because they know how close he is to retirement!

DT: …WHAT?!

MN: Look at him! He’s been in this business for nearly two decades, and he’s got WAY younger teams like Wolves of the Sea, Dirk Dickwood Presents, the Animezing Dragons, hell, 99% of the EPW roster nipping at his heels! He’s not long for this world, Thomas. You can’t expect a man like Jack Harmen to stick around forever.

DT: Keep in mind, these are the same arguments people have said about him for the last ten years.

MN: Nonetheless. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these young guys hits him with a dropkick and his hip turns to ash.

DT: You’re awful.

DM: Seriously.

DT: Back to the action…it looks like Murdock found a way to make a tag to his partner Morgan, and they’re exchanging big right hands! Murdock sends Harmen into the ropes – ducks underneath the charging Harmen – Harmen leaps over the ducking Murdock – Harmen leaps in the air, CAUGHT BY MORGAN! TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Yowza!!

DM: What a sequence! Counter after counter, but Morgan had the last move in the bag there!

MN: See if his bones are made of coal yet – I bet it’s pretty close.

DT: Here’s the cover – 1!

2!

…NO! Harmen kicks out!

DM: The veteran instincts!

MN: The “I’m too stupid to lay down” instincts, is more like it.

DM: This is an important match! Reputations are on the line! A spot in future tag title matches is on the line! This is a potentially career-making moment for both teams!

MN: We’ll see about that.

DT: Harmen is looking worse for wear here, as Morgan begins to lay on the heavy strikes now! BIG TIME knees to the midsection! Again! AGAIN! He sends Harmen across the ring with another Irish Whip – leaps – HURRICANRANA! HURRICANRANA! Harmen goes KER-SPLAT with that move, and Morgan is pumping this crowd up BIG TIME!

[The crowd begins dueling chants: “TEAM VI-A-GRA! WOLVES OF THE SEA! TEAM VI-A-GRA WOLVES OF THE SEA!”. DAVIS looks desperate for a tag, as does MURDOCK, despite the fact that MORGAN looks to be in control. MORGAN proceeds to hit a series of high-impact moves on DAVIS: a German Suplex, followed by a Russian Leg Sweep immediately followed by a rear naked choke. The crowd begins to clap in unison, building up tempt, as DAVIS attempts to fight out of it. Eventually, DAVIS is able to get to his feet and hits a resounding Reverse Russian Leg Sweep, ending the threat and allowing to tag in HARMEN.]

DT: The crowd is EATING THIS MATCH UP, fellas! Who’s going to win this one? It’s been back and forth this whole time!

DM: I say, the winner is the first one to think outside the box.

MN: I say, the winner is the first one to keep both hips intact.

DT: Would you stop??

[HARMEN hits a series of deceptively simple high flying maneuvers on MORGAN, never allowing him to get his footing. HARMEN bounces off the ropes and hits his signature Sliced Bread #3, a Springboard Lou Thesz Press with knuckle punches, which leads to FATORA giving him a count of 4 before HARMEN gets up off of his opponent. HARMEN pumps up the crowd big time as he slowly gets himself in position for another big maneuver. MORGAN slowly gets to his feet, his partner looking rightfully anxious, as HARMEN goes high in the air and connects with a big “Cold Snow” – his dual neck palmed leaping DDT. HARMEN goes for the cover, which gets kicked out at 2.8.]

DT: Jack Harmen, ladies and gentlemen! He looks like he’s close to ending this match for his team!

DM: It looks like he’s setting up for the Locomotive!

DT: You’re right, and he’s bracing himself in the corner for the move!

MN: Did Murdock tag himself in?

DT: I’m not sure, Neely, it looked like he may have slapped the outstretched boot of Morgan…HARMEN’S CHARGING! LOCOMOTIVE CONNECTS! LOCOMOTIVE CONNECTS ON MORGAN! HERE’S THE COVER!

DM: The referee isn’t making the count!

MN: I saw it! I knew it! Those sneaky pirates made a quick tag!

DT: Referee Tony Fatora is trying to let Jack Harmen know that Morgan isn’t the legal man in this contest, and Harmen looks confused as all else! HERE COMES MURDOCK! TWO DUBLOONS! TWO DUBLOONS! THAT DRAGONRANA CONNECTS AND HARMEN LOOKS OUT OF IT!

DM: Here’s the cover!

CROWD: 1!

2!

THREEAWWWWWW!

DT: Harmen somehow dug deep down and got his foot on the bottom rope! How in the world did he dig that one out??

MN: Especially since his hip is made of pencil shavings at this point!

DM: Murdock doesn’t seem to believe it either! He’s going for another cover– no! Harmen kicks out at two and a half! Another cover – kickout at two!

DT: Harmen looks like he doesn’t know where he is, but he’s digging deep, folks! Murdock looks frustrated as all else, but he’s ready to put on the finishing moves if he has to! Knife edge chops to Harmen! Another! Another! He backs up, looking to go for a big move here – A FLYING DROPKICK – NO!! Jack Harmen, I don’t know if that was instinct or if that was luck, but he just dropped to the ground and dodged all the power in the world that was about to come from the boots of Jameson Murdock!

DM: Murdock hit the ground HARD after that failed attempt, Dave, and wait a minute – what just happened?

MN: Tony Davis looks INTENSE, and he just tagged himself into the match!

DT: You’re absolutely right! Davis lifts up Murdock – EQUALIZER! EQUALIZER!! JAMESON MURDOCK IS OUT COLD!! HERE COMES THE COVER!

1!

2! MORGAN’S TRYING TO MAKE THE SAVE!

3!!! TEAM V.I.A.G.R.A. HAS DONE IT!

[FATORA signals for the bell as the crowd applauds the efforts of both teams. MORGAN has his arms draped across the cover of DAVIS on top of MURDOCK, mere moments too late, before lifting up his tag team partner and helping him to the back, slapping him on the chest and shouting words of piratey encouragement. DAVIS lifts his arms up in exaltation as HARMEN, sprawled on the ground, looks up at him in a mixture of appreciation, confusion, and concern. DAVIS shoots a look towards HARMEN before shouting words that only lip readers could catch – “I TOLD YOU I COULD WIN ONE” – before exiting the ring. HARMEN slowly peels himself up off the canvas and waves to the crowd, who gives him appreciative cheers as he makes his way up the entrance ramp.]

DT: What an opening match ladies and gentlemen! The Wolves of the Sea threw the whole platoon against Team V.I.A.G.R.A., but the veteran instincts of Harmen and Davis took over in the end! If this match is any indication, we are in for one HELL of a night! Stay tuned!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

What Time Is It?

 

[DBrunkGXW]

EPW Television Championship: Anarky (c) v. Malcolm Joseph-Jones

DT: What a win by Team Viagra! Tony Davis certainly showing he’s as integral a part of his team as his more prolific partner, Jack Harmen.

DM: Putting a spotlight on only one member of a tag team is a speedy way to break ‘em up, Dave. Besides, there’s no reason to qualify anything about this victory – the Wolves of the Sea gave it their all but Viagra – as a team – pulled off the victory.

MN: Whatever you think you need to say to get through the night, Dean.

DT: Up next, we’ve got the first of five title matches tonight as Anarky defense the EPW Television Championship against Malcolm Joseph Jones! Anarky has been on a tear since winning what he calls the Anti – Championship, and Jones has been equally impressive, earning this match with a victory over Larry Tact, not to mention taking former World Champion Cameron Cruise to the absolute limit!

[SFX: DING DING DING]

TF: This next contest is scheduled for one fall, with a sixty minute time limit – and it is for the Empire Pro Wrestling… TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!

[CUE UP: “Best of the Best” by KU. A surprising amount of fans cheered for the challenger.]

TF: Introducing first, is the challenger! From Jackson, Mississippi, and weighing in at two hundred and sixty nine pounds… MALCOLM! JOSEPH! JONES!

DT: The challenger paying no mind to the fans, but this stadium is giving him an incredible amount of support.

DM: Not really. The EPW fan has always respected Jones’ ability if not his attitude. I think the welcome these fans are giving him is less incredible and more resigned hope. Anarky has made his intentions clear in the past months since losing the World Title to The First and hooking up with Rezin: he wants to destroy Empire Pro Wrestling. You can bet the fans will cheer for anyone who has the chance to take the belt back for the Empire.

MN: Amen.

DT: Mike?

MN: Don’t get me wrong, I think the humanoids are idiots. But if Anarky and Rezin destroy EPW, well… I get paid very well to carry you two idiots. I doubt they can match my salary.

DT: Right... Regardless, Jones has shown his ability so far in his EPW career, and he’ll need every bit of it if he expects to topple the Television Champion tonight.

TF: AND HIS OPPONENT…

[CUE UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie, accompanied by almost unanimous booing, coupled with a chant of “A-Nark-Kee-Sucks!”]

TF: From Hartford, Connecticut, weighing in at two hundred thirty one pounds… He is a former Empire Pro Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion and the current Empire Pro Television Anti – Champion… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHUUUUUNAAAAAAARKKKKEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DT: These fans letting Anarky know what they think of him, and Nark doesn’t even care!

DM: It’s part of his persona, he was World Champion and the fans reacted indifferently to him, so he’s making them pay for it. He’s blatantly told them that he wants to destroy Empire Pro along with his partner Rezin, and even fans who would cheer his ability can’t get behind that.

DT: Anarky unhooks the Television Title belt from around his waist and lets it drop on the floor, he has no respect for this company or its championships. Anarky is in the ring and he lands a right hand in Jones’ face!

[SFX: DING DING DING]

DM: The bell’s a bit late, I think. Anarky has already established himself as the aggressor.

DT: Jones was taken by surprise, and he’s taking each right hand from Anarky while trying to get himself out of the line of fire! Nark with a scoop, and a hard slam! Cover! ONE… TWO… Kickout by Jones!

MN: Can we replace a whiner with an egomaniac? Will anyone tell the difference?

DT: Nark with another scoop, and Jones with a thumb to the eyes! No followup, he’s taking a second to catch his breath, and Anarky with a low blow!

[SFX: Loud boos.]

DM: Anarky showing complete contempt for his opponent and the fans, and they’re letting him know what they think of it.

DT: DDT follows that low blow, and another cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout!

MN: C’mon, Jones!

DT: It’s really unsettling, seeing you and the fans cheering for the same person.

MN: I can’t be held responsible for the fans’ sudden lapse into sanity.

DT: Anarky with another scoop, and he fishhooks his mouth and sends him headfirst into the turnbuckle! Cross – corner whip, and Anarky with a running start! ELBOW TO THE FACE BY JONES! Anarky hits the mat and skids into the corner on his back! Jones with a scoop, and he drops Anarky, chest first, on the top rope! Cover! One… TWO… THKICKOUT!

DM: Not yet.

MN: Can we hurry it up?

DT: Jones with another scoop, and a whip into the ropes… Anarky reverses! He fires a baseball swing, but Jones ducks him! Off the other side… SPEAR! SPEAR! Anarky goes down, and Jones with his hands on his knees, he’s got himself set up and ready!

DM: We’ve seen this before, and while Jones is letting Anarky to his feet, if Nark doesn’t realize where he is, he’s in serious trouble.

DT: JONES HOOKS HIM… GREATNESS BUSTER! GREATNESS BUSTER! COVER! ONE… TWO… THREE!

[SFX: DING DING DING! HUGE pop from the fans.]

TF: The winner of this bout…

…AND… NEW… EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION… MALCOLM… JOSEPH… JONES!

DT: HE GOT HIM!

DM: Jones is up, and he’s talking fairly animatedly at the referee.

DT: Of course he is, he just told the referee to go to the floor and retrieve the TV Title belt for him. He may have the fans behind him at this moment but he could easily lose them if he succumbs to arrogance.

DM: Speaking of which, Anarky is getting a series of boos, and a few drinks thrown in his face as he leaves the arena. Do you think he’ll take this lying down?

MN: Hopefully he’ll take it somewhere else.

DT: Mike!

MN: What, Burger boy?

DT: Anarky is a consummate professional and could win this belt back in a heartbeat.

MN: Pull off the rose glasses, Dave. Anarky is a whiny bitch who’s making the decision to go home instead of trying to get his World Title back. Who do I have empathy for is Rezin, who’s been doing it on his talent for how long now? He’ll thrive without Anarky holding him back, but he’ll also suffer without someone watching his back.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Aaron Jones v. NOT Dis

[No Rest for the Wicked]

DT: Here comes Aaron Jones, and we're just minutes away from the identity of his opponent!

MN: Don't you think this is a little counter - intuitive?

DT: How so?

MN: Here’s a guy, he’s not a wrestler. He’s losing all his matches because he’s not a wrestler. Now he gets an opponent that we’re told is a big deal, sight unseen. So are we supposed to be interested in this match that’s a foregone conclusion because it’s a big deal against a total loser, or are we supposed to be disinterested because it’s an Aaron Jones match?

DM: As usual, you reduce things to their inaccurate, base parts. According to Aaron Jones’ opponent, he’s a multi – time World Champion, which certainly lends a level of interest to this match. Additionally, Aaron Jones himself has shown marked improvement for a non – professional wrestler and I think, even if he doesn’t win here, he’ll show us something.

MN: How to lose?

DM: He’ll show us some skills and he’ll show us some tenacity, and I think he’s been getting better with every match.

DT: Well said, Dean.

MN: What about me?

DT: … Well said, Dean.

TF: This contest is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit! Introducing first, from Indianapolis, Indiana… weighing in at one hundred sixty pounds… AARON… JOOOOOOOOONES!

DT: Nice welcome for Aaron Jones, and you heard it, fans – one hundred sixty pounds, he’s smaller than almost any potential opponent.

MN: Now you’re against him?

DT: You’ve never said anything nice about him!

MN: Hey now, I’m a broadcast journalist, I’m never biased!

DM: Except against the human race.

TF: AND HIS OPPONENT…

DT: Here we go!

[The lights went out and the fans grew loud.]

MN: This guy must suck so bad he sucked the electricity out of the arena.

[CUTTO: The EmpireTron, where static has filled the screen along with the sound of white noise.]

DT: We may be having some technical diff—

[Muffled voices can be heard underneath the white noise, but the words are inaudible. The static suddenly cut to a darker background with shaky red typeface.]

Do you understand?

[Static – cut.]

You will.

[Static – cut.]

Now.

[SFX: Huge fan pop.]

[Static – cut.]

It’s nothing personal.

[Static – cut.]

I became Champion.

[Static – cut.]

And I smashed them.

[Static – cut.]

Again.

[Static – cut.]

And again.

[Static – cut.]

I was called a nobody.

[Static – cut.]

I was called a nobody.

[Static – cut.]

Nobody.

[Static – cut. SFX: The fans got louder.]

Nobody.

[Static – cut.]

Original Nobody.

[SFX: The roof, such as it is, blew off the stadium at the sound of the cheers.]

[Ghostflowers.]

DT: I don’t believe it!

MN: Believe what?

[As the song played on, the fans got louder and louder and louder. The lights remained off, save a pair of spotlights that scanned the seats.]

DM: If we’re on the same wavelength, Dave – and if we’re right, this place is about to explode. After all, Sweetwater is just a few hours west of here.

MN: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.

DT: Now you’re just being difficult, Mike.

MN: Have another burger, Burger Boy.

[The music sped up, and the lights flickered like lightning in tune.]

You want to see me burn, I am living FIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!​

[All lights were on as bright as they could be, and, like magic, standing at the top of the entryway was a man with shoulder – length black hair, a faded and worn black leather trenchcoat, and one tape – covered hand held up in the air in a fist. His back was to the fans, but there was no longer any question on the identity of the mystery man.

Particularly since, standing next to him was a small woman with bright blonde hair, pushed back behind her ears and mostly hidden under a shiny black top hat. She was also clad in a boned black corset, knee – length black skirt, fishnet stockings, and knee – high combat boots. Her eyes were hidden behind thin wire – rimmed glasses. Her hands were resting on top of a Singapore Cane whose other end was leaning on the ground.

After a few seconds, the man put his fist down and turned around.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Jones’ mystery opponent is none other than ‘Total Elimination’ Eli Flair!

MN: Who?

DM: As you well know, Neely – he was the runner up in last year’s industry – wide Ultratitle tournament.

MN: Oh yeah, the guy who lost.

DT: Our crack research team is currently feeding me some information on Eli Flair that may be new to some of our fans here, this man is six foot nine and weighs in excess of three hundred pounds. Eli Flair was trained in New York by Terence Cooper , a name that might be familiar to some of you out there as the same man who trained The First’s number one contender, Impulse. He made his professional debut in an Arizona based regional promotion called PYBA nineteen years ago, and has spent most of his active career at or near the top of every promotion he’s entered.

MN: You’re forgetting the most important part.

DT: What’s that?

MN: Who’s the babe?

DM: You’ve seen her before, Mike. That’s Ivy McGinnis, Triple X’s wife.

MN: No, no, no. Stevens’ wife is some kid’s mom. This chick is hot!

DT: Same woman.

MN: No!

DM: Yep.

MN: Sweet mother, she cleans up nice.

DT: Eli Flair has climbed from the floor to the top turnbuckle, and these fans certainly recognize him. I’ve got some more information on him right here – he effectively retired from full time wrestling in 2007 but continues to make occasional appearances, either for individual matches or short runs. He is a fifteen time former World Champion, including such wrestling promotions as the CSWA, the Fans Wrestling Organization, Total Complete Wrestling, and the old Asylum Fighting organization. He’s also, are you ready for this, gentlemen?

DM: What?

DT: In a technical sense, he’s a former World Champion right here in Empire Pro.

MN: Shenanigans!

DT: Certainly not, Mike. This company contains the history of Global X-Treme Wrestling, which was borne from a merger of Extreme Wrestling International and the NthWA, and according to my data sheet Eli Flair held the EWI World Championship a full thirteen years ago, which I think would qualify him for an honorary entry in our history.

MN: Speak for yourself, though I’ve got a few things that the blonde could qualify for.

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DM: Aaron Jones looks nervous.

DT: Wouldn’t you be? Forget about the reputation this man has, he’s a foot taller and weighs almost twice as much as Mr. Jones. AARON JONES WITH A LUNGE AND A FOREARM CLUB TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! Right hand! Another!

MN: Yawn, another legend disappoints. Next?

DT: Ivy McGinnis was leaving the ring and giving Flair some last minute instruction, I don’t think he was ready for that!

MN: The bell rings, it’s on. Women should be seen and not heard, unless they’re having a religious experience during private time.

DT: Jones with a cross – corner whip… Eli stopped, dead in his tracks, and pulled him in – CLOTHESLINE! He nearly took his head off!

DM: If Aaron Jones wants to have a chance at victory he’s gotta hit and run, once Flair gets a hold of him, you see what happens.

DT: Flair backs off, while Aaron drags himself up by the ropes. You’ve gotta give it to the kid, he doesn’t quit.

MN: Hey! Hey, blondie!

DM: What are you doing?

[Outside the ring, Mike Neely is able to get Ivy’s attention.]

DT: They lock up, and Eli with a hard shove back into the corner!

MN: I hear you’re in a loveless marriage, can I help you turn that frown upside down?

DM: Jones just ran at him, and a spinebuster! I think Jones really feels like he’s got something to prove here, but it’s not the right time.

MN: Oh yeah, she’s coming over.

DT: What are you – Hello, Ms. McGinnis, it’s nice to have you with us, officially.

[SFX: The rustling of a microphone as Ivy relieved Neely of his headset.]

McGINNIS: I don’t mean to interrupt, gentlemen, but, uhh… Mike, is it? Keep ogling me and I’ll shove this headset up your ass, pull it out your mouth, wrap it around your neck, and leave you on the side’a the road. Kay? Thanks.

[She dropped the headset on the table and walked away. More rustling as Neely put it back on.]

DT: Have you learned your lesson?

MN: …So you’ll call me?

DM: Of course not.

DT: Eli Flair scoops Aaron Jones, and hoists him one handed for a heavy, hard chokeslam! I think he bounced!

DM: Still refusing to stay down, still using the corner to climb. Jones has all the will in the world, he just needs to develop the skills.

DT: He’s back to his feet again, but Jones hasn’t gotten in a lick of offense since his opening shots. Eli approaches from behind, and he’s got Jones hooked around the neck! Reverse DDT!

DM: Flair calls that the ‘Fallen One,’ and that’s been his finish for years. Three count, I think, is academic.

[SFX: Huge fan pop as the bell rings.]

DT: Eli Flair victorious in his debut match over Aaron Jones—

MN: Hardly a noteworthy thing to brag about.

DT – and he’s helping the kid to his feet before leaving the ring and the stadium with his manager Ivy!

MN: It’s all fake.

DT: We’ll try to get a word with him before the night is over to see what his status is with EPW and why he’s come here, but for now, Eli Flair is victorious in his debut match!

DM: Actually, I’m getting word right now that Kenny Lombardo is waiting jus t past the curtain for a word with our combatants.

DT: Let’s go to Kenny and see what’s what!

[CUTTO: Backstage, in front of an EPW ‘Unleashed 2013’ banner, Kenny Lombardo is waiting with a microphone.]

KL: Thanks, Dave. I’m right here in the Hot Zone, and in just a few seconds I should be joined by –

[Before he can finish his statement, he’s shoved over to the side of the camera’s view while Poison Ivy takes center stage and Eli Flair moves into frame behind her.]

KL: --By Eli Flair and Poison Ivy, making their official Empire Pro debut! Eli, what brings you to EPW?

[Kenny held the microphone out, but Eli just stared at him.]

…

[Awkward silence.]

IVY [leaning into the microphone]: Maybe you should move on to something else.

KL: Umm… well…

[Eli took the microphone from him.]

ELI: This is a wrestling company, right?

[Kenny leaned toward him, but Eli pulled the mic away.]

ELI: Just nod.

[He nodded.]

ELI: I’m a wrestler.

[Kenny nodded.]

ELI: Case closed. Hey kid, c’mere.

[From the empty space off camera behind Kenny emerged Aaron Jones, looking a little hesitant. He didn’t seem to relax, even when Eli offered his hand.]

ELI: Good effort out there, you’ve got potential. Don’t worry about the jackasses you were talkin’ about who think you’re a joke - no one cared who I was until I wrapped myself in barbed wire. You’ll get there.

[Tentatively, Jones shook. As he left the area, Ivy mouthed the words ‘Call me’ in his direction while taking the microphone from Eli.]

IVY: The main thing to take from all this, Kenneth, is that we’re here in the EPW… and we’re going to do…

[She smiled, but it wasn’t a nice, pleasant kind of smile. It was reminiscent of an alligator about to swallow its prey whole.]

IVY: …Whatever we want.

[She handed the microphone back to Kenny and the two walked past him: Eli Flair patted him condescendingly on the head as he walked. Kenny put the microphone to his mouth, but he still seemed put off, and after about eight seconds he rolled his eyes and made a slashing motion across his throat.]

[CUTTO: Generic ringside wide shot.]

DT: That was different.

DM: That was awkward.

MN: That was boring.

DT: Really, Mike? Gonna go with that?

MN: Well let’s be honest, Dave – while everyone is Beatlemania’d out over Eli Flair, I saw an old rookie who beat up the winner of the EPW loser contest for an overhyped pay per view debut. Pardon me while I yawn.

DM: That’s oddly valid, but I do notice you didn’t say that while he was out here.

MN: I’m not an idiot, Dean.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Rocko Daymon vs. Steven Shane

[SFX: DING DING DING! CUTTO: Tony Fatora in the ring.]

TF: This next contest is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first…

[CUE UP: ‘Power’ by Kanye West.]

DT: I’ve been waiting for this, the return of Rocko Daymon to Empire Pro Wrestling!

MN: Another old man, the only thing he’s got on Frankenstein is that he’s a former EPW World Champion.

TF: Introducing first...from Hollywood California… weighing in at two hundred and fifty three pounds, he is a former Empire Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champion… ‘SENSATIONAL’ STEVEN… SHAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!

[The music continues to play and a fountain of pyrotechnics ignite on the stage. A lift slowly rises and reveals Steven Shane decked out in new ring gear for the special event. The crowd gives a positive reaction as Shane makes his way down the ramp.]

DT: You do make a valid point, Mike – and that is the fact that Rocko Daymon is a former EPW World Champion. In fact, he had to forfeit the title after injuries suffered at the hands of Jason ‘Stalker’ Reeves several years back. As a matter of fact, with all of Cameron Cruise’s assertions that he’s the rightful champion of this company I think Rocko Daymon is the only person who can actually make that claim legitimately.

DM: You’re talking up Rocko, but you’re also ignoring Steven Shane, which I think is a bad move. The Sensational One can beat anyone on any night.

MN: Yeah, he’s really proven that by losing to everyone who matters.

DT: Wow, you’re determined to get slapped tonight, aren’t you?

MN: It’s not his fault, of course. You can’t fight city hall and you can’t fight against cherry picked protected halfwits that the establishment is trying to force down peoples’ throats. I don’t want to embarrass Impulse by saying his name –

DT: You’re hopeless.

DM: Shane’s under the bottom rope, and he’s playing to the crowd, trying to get them louder and louder. He’s certainly a favorite here in the Empire.

DT: Indeed he is, Dean – and if he can get the win over Rocko Daymon tonight, even with Rocko’s time on the shelf, it will certainly put him right back into contention for the EPW Intercontinental – or even the World Title.

TF: And his opponent…

[“At the Well” by Neurosis blasts into the stadium from the speakers, and the fans went wild.]

TF: From Seattle, Washington… Weighing in at two hundred thirty four pounds, he is the former and never – dethroned WORLD CHAMPION of Empire Pro Wrestling… He is the Paragon of Professional Wrestling Excellence… The Legend, The Myth, The Man…

[The video package comes to an end with fireworks out of all sides of the EmpireTron.]

TF: THE UNDYING… ROCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHDAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYMOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!!

[Seemingly out of nowhere, Rocko is in the stadium. He pumps a fist before going to the ring, with the look of fierce determination furrowed on his brow. Rocko appears to be very subdued and focused. He slaps a few hands at ringside of some overeager fans. He is wearing a silver robe with brown trimming, matching his trunks. He immediately removes the robe before he enters the ring.]

DT: Listen to this ovation! Wrestling fans have long memories and the EPW fans still remember what Rocko meant to this company.

MN: He meant disappointment.

DT: He’s the only man who ever legitimately defeated Sean Stevens for the World Title.

MN: …

DM: Mike?

MN: Yeah, I got nothing.

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DT: Shane and Rocko circle each other, and they lock up! Rocko with a headlock and a takedown! Shane fighting out of it, but Rocko’s holding on!

DM: It’s the little things like that, it tells you how much awareness Rocko has and how much he remembers.

DT: Steven Shane has forced his way to his feet, and he sends Rocko into the ropes! The hold breaks, Rocko off the opposite side, and they collide! Rocko hits the mat!

DM: Shane’s got a weight advantage: it’s not much but if he’s ready for Daymon, he can use it to his advantage.

DT: That could potentially be balanced with his biggest weakness: his arrogance. Look at Shane backing off and letting Rocko get back to his feet.

MN: I think he’s being a courteous opponent.

DT: I think he’s making a mistake. You don’t let a wrestler like Rocko Daymon get back to equal footing. That could come back to bite him.

MN: Your parents never taught you manners.

DM: Rocko is back up, and he’s got his hands on his hips, shaking his head. Definitely, a new plan is in order.

DT: Another lockup, and Daymon moves in behind Shane! Elbow to the face! Rocko hooked him! He’s got Steven Shane in a modified chicken wing, and a modified belly to back suplex! Shane landed on his shoulders and neck, and he’s to the outside, windmilling his left shoulder!

DM: And these fans are certainly letting him hear it.

[SFX: “YOU-STILL-GOT-IT” interspersed with “ROCK-O-DAY-MON.”]

DT: Steven Shane just hit the ring apron in frustration. I don’t think this is going quite how he hoped.

DM: If he dialed down the arrogance just a little, he’d be unstoppable.

MN: Blah, blah, blah. Don’t hate on the man just because he’s sensational.

DT: Shane instructs the referee to back Rocko up while he gets back into the ring and he does so, and he’s circling Rocko again, looking at him warily. I think Rocko has proven he hasn’t lost a step so far!

MN: So far. Famous last words.

DT: They lock up again – Rocko ducks under Shane’s grip, and another waistlock! Lift and takedown, and he’s putting pressure on Shane’s stomach, constricting his breathing!

DM: The fans are applauding Rocko’s turn. Shane’s trying to get to his knees to relieve some of the pressure but Rocko is right on him.

DT: SHANE RAKES THE EYES! Rocko breaks the hold, and Shane with a Headbutt backwards!

DM: That is a way to use his head.

DT: Shane is back to his feet, and a boot to the side puts Rocko back to the mat! Scoop and a hard slam! Cover, ONE…TWO…Kickout!

DM: First one, could’ve almost been the last.

DT: Rocko’s hurting, but Shane doesn’t let up!

MN: And now I suppose you’d want him to give Rocko a minute.

DT: I said it was arrogance before – now it’s smart strategy on Shane’s part.

DM: Shane doesn’t let up with the kicks and the fists to the back of the head. He’s not doing anything fancy, he’s just trying to win.

DT: Another cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout!

MN: He’s just trying to win, why doesn’t he say goodbye to the fair play and dent Rocko’s skull with some steel?

DT: There’s still a sense of pride in his craft, Mike – you might want to look into it.

DM: Shane with a scoop and a whip into the ropes, Rocko is dropped to the mat with a hard spinebuster!

DT: He’s looking to finish it off her, Dean.

DM: I still say it’s premature.

DT: Steven Shane has Rocko set up… Westside Connection! Cover! ONE… TWO… Kickout!

DM: Like I said.

MN: One of these days it won’t be premature.

DM: That’s kind of the definition.

DT: Shane backs up, and he’s got Rocko measured! Are we about to see some Sweet Chin Music?

MN: If we’re lucky. And we’ll see Rockhole’s comeback attempt stopped right here where it should be.

DT: Rocko staggering to his feet, he’s certainly been dazed, if not completely knocked out of it. Shane fires!

MN: GOODNIGHT GRACIE!

DT: ROCKO DUCKED HIM!

DM: That’s pure instinct right there.

DT: Shane missed the boot, and Rocko hooked him from behind! T-BONE SUPLEX!

DM: I don’t know if he had a chance to think about that, it’s all muscle memory and experience.

DT: Steven Shane hit the mat and rolled outside to catch his breath, and Rocko is on his hands and knees in the middle of the ring doing the same, and the fans are cheering for Rocko again!

MN: Bandwagon fans.

DM: Even still, Rocko took a heck of a pounding and Steven Shane looks none the worse for the wear, I think the advantage is still with Shane.

DT: The referee’s count is at four, but Steven Shane is in no hurry to return to the ring. Rocko pacing anxiously, and he rushes the ropes! Referee holds him back and the count breaks – SHANE HOOKED HIS ANKLE! ROCKO DRAGGED TO THE OUTSIDE!

DM: You have to wonder if that was just bad luck or if Shane suckered him.

DT: Shane just sent Rocko back – first into the ring apron while the referee is yelling at him to get back into the ring, and Rocko whipped into the guardrail! I think it just moved three feet!

MN: It’s not attached to the floor, so it doesn’t take much.

DT: Now, Steven Shane is back under the bottom rope, and the referee is counting! Three! Four!

MN: You can stop, the humanoids in the front row helped Rocko to his feet.

DM: Getting him up isn’t getting him in, Mike. Ten feet might as well be ten miles if you can’t see straight.

DT: Rocko staggers toward the ring, the count is at six, and Steven Shane is waiting for him! Handful of hair as Rocko tries to get to the ring apron – STUN GUN ACROSS THE TOP ROPE! STEVEN SHANE FALLS BACKWARDS!

DM: That’s the definition of an instinctive move.

DT: Shane holding his throat with both hands while Rocko lands on his knees outside the ring, but there’s no count since the referee is checking on Steven! This is Rocko’s chance to get his head together and get back in this thing!

MN: Biased much?

DT: He’s up on his feet using the ring steps for support, and Rocko is back on the ring apron just in time for Shane to reach for him! Rocko ducked, and a shoulder to the stomach! Another! Shane is doubled over, and Rocko climbs to the top turnbuckle! Tornado DDT! Cover, ONE… TWO… THKICKOUT!

DM: Shane’s made of hardy stuff, like Rocko, it’ll take a concentrated effort to take him down.

DT: Rocko still getting his wind back, he can’t follow up, but Shane can’t take advantage. Both men are getting up with their backs to each other – Shane turned toward him, and he spins him around! Sweeping clothesline – Rocko ducked him! Forearm! Another! Rocko backing Steven Shane into the corner with those lifters, and these fans are cheering every impact! Cross – corner whip… SHANE HIT WITH AUTHORITY! He staggers out of the corner toward the middle of the ring and Rocko lifts him up for a backbreaker!

DM: These fans want to see it!

DT: Rocko has him hooked… BRAIN ROCKER! BRAIN ROCKER! COVER! ONE… TWO… THREE!

[SFX: DING DING DING!]

DT: ROCKO DAYMON IS VICTORIOUS IN HIS RETURN TO EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING!

MN: Where’s Jason Reeves when you need him?

DM: Steven Shane put up a valiant fight, but it just wasn’t in the cards tonight. There’s always tomorrow for him, though, and the sky’s still the limit.

DT: Indeed, Dean – Steven Shane is only going to get brighter. For right now, however, the Undying, Rocko Daymon is back in Empire Pro Wrestling, and he’s back with authority!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Audition

 

[DBrunkGXW]

EPW Intercontinental Championship: Mahogany v. Light v. Willard v. Smallz v. Rezin

[FADEIN: Tony Fatora standing in the middle of the ring. Pat Jones stands beside him holding the EPW Intercontinental Title belt in his hands.]

TF: The following contest is the FIVE WAY ELIMINATION MATCH for the VACANT EPW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP! [Pop!]

[MUSIC UP: “Love Man” by Otis Redding. The crowd pops as Rich Mahogany makes his way towards the ring. Rich is in a gold sequined tuxedo top, black bow tie, black banana hammock and hot pink flip flops. He flashes a big smile towards a woman in the crowd as he keeps on the long walk to the ring.]

TF: Making his way to the ring from Austin, Texas weighing in at 210 pounds…RICH!!! MAHOGANY!!!

DT: I remember a while back in a six man tag, Rich Mahogany tried to roll up his partner Impulse to steal the IC Title away from him, tonight Rich gets a crack to add that belt to his Resume fair and square.

MN: Who knows if he’s really going to be doing it fair and square or not. This guy is a huckster and a con artist I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him!

[Mahogany climbs the ropes and enters the ring. After a few moments MUSIC UP: “Black Superman” by Above The Law. Boogie Smallz power walks towards the ring with a scowl on his face. Boogie has on a white wife-beater that looks like it’s about to fall apart, faded blue jeans with holes in the knees and black work boots. The crowd jeers Boogie loudly as he heads to the ring.]

TF: From New York City weighing in at three hundred pounds…BOOGIE!! SMALLZ!! {More boos!]

DT: This isn’t a popular man here at the Ballpark. Boogie Smallz has everything on the line tonight, a win and he will as he says, hold the IC Title hostage, a loss and he really had no leverage with Dan Ryan and I wonder if he’ll be even still in EPW after the match is over.

DM: It’s gold or bust for Boogie tonight can he handle the pressure?

MN: This man is a proud warrior and Dan Ryan’s been messing with him this whole time, I expect violence and a lot of it, if he doesn’t win a lot of people are getting hurt.

[Boogie enters the ring and tears off the wife beater and throws it at Mahogany. The ref keeps the two men apart as Boogie talks trash about what will happen once the bell rings.]

[MUSIC UP: “Indestructible” by Disturbed. The crowd pops as Christian Light makes his way towards the ring. Light has on blue tights with “RTD” on them, and white ring boots.]

TF: Making his way to the ring from Garden City, New York weighting in at 271 pounds…CHRISTIAN!!! LIGHT!!!

DT: Fresh off a big win over Anarky, Christian Light now looking to add some gold to his resume here in EPW in this five way battle.

DM: Light made a big statement with his win over Anarky, can he keep it going and take the IC Title home tonight?

MN: No and no! He got lucky against Anarky and tonight his fluke win will be exposed for the sham it was!

[Light hits the ring and throws his arms up, popping the crowd again, all three men seem close to coming to blows with the ref just barely keeping order in the ring.]

[MUSIC UP: “Genesis” by Justice. The crowd has a mixed reaction as Adrian Willard storms towards the ring. His body looking like he just dumped a bottle of water on himself before walking through the curtain. White trunks with “The Prophecy” in black on the seat, black ring boots and black elbow and knee pads are his outfit. He ignores the crowd as he power walks to the ring.]

TF: Making his way to the ring from Chicago, Illinois weighting in at 285 pounds…’The Prophecy” ADRIAN!! WILLLLLARD!!

DT: Willard’s career in EPW has been hit and miss, can he find his footing tonight and capture this title or will another chance slip through his fingers?

DM: Willard won the TV Title before, this would be the next step up the ladder, I think he is hungry and he’s dead set on getting it done.

MN: Rich Mahogany has had his number and he’s in this thing, although now Rich is a goof ball who wants the fans to love him, Willard’s out for blood, I just hope he doesn’t waste to much energy kicking Rich’s ass and saves some for the other 4.

[Willard hits the ring and the tension reaches a boil, the ref more pleading than commanding the men not to fight until Rezin makes his way to the ring.]

[MUSIC UP: “Make Drugs and Murder Legal” by Electric Wizard. The crowd boos loudly as Rezin shambles towards the ring, Rezin has in his hands a giant bucket. Rezin’s poorly fitting black pants are even more of a problem as he only has one hand to pull them up with.]

TF: And from the bottom of the barrel, weighing in at 226 pounds…REZIN!!

DT: What the heck does Rezin have in his hands?

MN: It’s a bucket Dave, you’ve never seen a bucket before?

DT: I…Have seen a bucket before, but never a wrestler carrying one to the ring before.

DM: Rezin is a strange guy to say the least, who the heck knows what he’s thinking about as he lugs that thing out to the ring.

[Rezin places the bucket on the ring steps and hits the ring, once both his feet are on the canvas the ref calls for the bell and the brawl starts!]

DT; The fight is on, Rezin and Boogie beating on Light in one corner while Mahogany and Willard are brawling in the middle of the ring. Willard sends Mahogany into the ropes, clothesline by Willard misses…CLOTHESLINE BY MAHOGANY CONNECTS!

DM: But the big man stays up!

DT: and Willard just got BLINDSIDED by Rezin who bulldogs him to the canvas! Boogie and Light now trading punches in the corner, Light spins out of the corner and sends Boogie head first into the turnbuckle! Light opening up with rights and lefts to the gut of Smalls. Light whips Boogie to the other corner and now he sets up a charge…GETS BLASTED BY REZIN!

MN: What the hell was Light thinking? That the whole ring was going to clear out and let him hit that move, that was grade A bad planning by this fool!

DT: Rezin and Boogie now stomping away on Light while Mahogany sees a fallen Willard and quickly rushes over and makes a cover!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!

DT: Willard powers out…Rezin and Boogie grab Light and send him into the ropes…DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Light bounced off the canvas hard, a cover by Boogie!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

MN: Light is finding out EPW isn’t a free ride by any stretch of the imagination, welcome to a world of hurt buddy!

DT: Mahogany and Willard still brawling in a corner, Willard getting the better of him and now Boogie over and he hammers Willard from behind with a forearm…Willard now thrown out of the ring by Boogie who follows him to the outside…Rezin grabs Light and sends him to the corner…Rezin with a charge…NOBODY HOME! Light kicking away at Rezin and now sends him to the riopes…REZIN SENT FLYING WITH A HUGE BACKDROP!

DM: Light is a big guy, he gets you in the air you might get altitude sickness!

DT: Rezin being rocked by punches now, LIGHT WITH A BELLY TO BELLY AND THE COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Rezin fights out…Outside the ring Willard and Boogie continue to brawl…Boogie with an eye poke and now he WHIPS WILLARD INTO THE RAILING! What the heck is Boogie doing?! He’s got the ring bell and he’s trying to get back into the ring with it!

MN: Boogie knows the fix is in to screw him, he’s going to send all of these Dan Ryan flunkies to the hospital and go out in a blaze of glory!

DT: The ref trying to keep Boogie out of the ring with that bell, meanwhile Light grabs Rezin…REZINUS MIST!! THAT BLACK GUNK JUST GOT SPIT IN LIGHT’S FACE!! MAHOGANY RUNS OVER AND ROLLS UP LIGHT!! BOOGIE DROPS THE BELL AND YELLS AT THE REF TO SEE THE PIN!! THE REF IS OVER!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

DT: Christian Light is the first man out of this five way, but man alive that felt like a plot!

MN: Whatever it takes baby! Night Night for Light! We’re down to four!

DT: Light stumbles out of the ring, he never really got on track tonight…Boogie returns to the ring and now Rezin rushes out of the ring and he’s grabbed that bucket of black ooze or whatever the hell it is and is in the ring with the ref yelling at him to drop it…Willard crawls back up to the apron behind Rezin…REZIN TURNS AND SPINS AND THROWS THAT BUCKET OF OOZE AT HIM!

MN: Ahhhh, the stink of that…I’m gonna puke!

DT: The ref’s disqualified Rezin and I’m worried that maybe they might have to shut this place down and turn it into a biological waste site…I’m gagging out here, and I can’t imagine what Willard’s going through.

DM: Willard is covered in that stuff and he’s clutching at his face…He might be blinded by whatever the hell that stuff was.

MN: Blinded, gagging, hell I wouldn’t doubt it if it turned him deaf and mute also…That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen and I’m usually a fan of these disgusting things…

DT: Rezin leaving the ring with a sick smile on his face, he’s proud of the stunts he has pulled here, he got Light eliminated and lord knows if Willard is going to be able to continue in this match now that he’s covered in that goo…

DM: Well he did say this was going to be about who was going to be clean or not, and for sure Willard and Light aren’t clean anymore.

DT: Mahogany and Boogie left in the ring while trainers, who should really be in Haz-Mat suits as far as I’m concerned, are trying to clean off Willard. Boogie rushes Rich, who sidesteps and trips the big man. Boogie tries to get back up, Rich jumps on his back and locks in a SLEEPER! Boogie trying to fight it as Rich now cranking the hold in the center of the ring!

MN: This would be beyond humiliating for Boogie to not only lose this match and his job here, but to be knocked out by somebody in the process? He’d never live it down!

DT: Boogie trying to rally out of this hold…He charges backward…RICH OUT OF THE WAY! Boogie crashed into the turnbuckles! Boogie staggers out…INTO A ROLL UP BY RICH!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Boogie powers out! Rich catches him with a DROPKICK as Smallz was getting to his feet…Series of right hands rocks Boogie who falls into the ropes and gets whipped to the other side…Mahogany off the other side…FLYING CROSS BODY!! LEG IS HOOKED!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: SO CLOSE!! Boogie just BARELY kept himself in this match.

DM: And with Willard’s status unknown, this might be for the title.

MN: I’m stunned Willard hasn’t melted like that Nazi’s face in the Indiana Jones movie, that stuff is vile!

DT: Mahogany looking for the Sex Plex…He hooks Boogie…Boogie blocks…Boogie with a series of punches to the gut and now knees…Boogie hooks Mahogany for a power bomb…MAHOGANY IS UP!! HE SLIDES BEHIND BOOGIE! RICH OFF THE ROPES…RUNS RIGHT INTO A BIG BOOT!!

MN: He nearly got beheaded there!

DT: Boogie stumbles t the ropes to try to collect himself after all the punishment Rich has dealt out to him now with Mahogany laid out on the mat…Boogie now waiting for Rich to get up…Rich to his feet…GETS BLASTED WITH A CLOTHESLINE…SMALLZ WITH A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Boogie punches the mat and gives the ref a look he doesn’t think that count was a good one…Boogie now grabs Mahogany and calls for the 99 Problemz…HE’S GOT RICH UP!! RICH WITH A HURRICANRANA!!! He just flipped Boogie over Boogie stumbles to his feet and lunges at Rich…RICH WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

MN: I think he’d be really insulted that you said he had a small package Dave!

DT: It was a move Neely…Oh never mind…Boogie back to his feet…Rich with a kick to the gut doubles him over…SUNSET FLIP BY RICH…FIGHTING TO GET BOOGIE OVER…HE DOES!! SHOULDERS DOWN!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Boogie just got the shoulder up....Both men scamper back to their feet…Dropkick by Mahogany misses…Boogie grabs his legs…SLINGSHOT INTO THE CORNER!! RICH HIT THE RING POST WITH HIS HEAD!! I THINK HE’S OUT COLD!! BOOGIE WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

MN: IT’S OVER! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!

DT: Is it over?! Boogie calling for the belt, the ref telling him it’s not over…Willard rolling into the ring! His ring gear still caked in that slime Rezin covered him with…Boogie glaring at him…Boogie now waving him into the ring! Boogie and Willard now are going to settle this with the IC Title hanging in the balance.

MN: This isn’t right, Willard smells worse than a gas station bathroom, and Boogie just had to fight Mahogany the whole time the trainers were trying to sanitize Willard…This is a set up to screw Boogie, I bet Ryan and Rezin had this planned the whole time!

DT: Maybe you can have Alex Jones look into this for you…Willard just hammering away on Smallz with right hands…These are two of the biggest men in EPW and right now Willard is unloading on Boogie…Boogie thrown into the ropes…Back Elbow cracks him right on the jaw! Boogie stumbles into corner…WILLARD CRUSHES HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Willard grabs him…BULLDOGS HIM OUT OF THE CORNER!! A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

TH-NO!!

DT: Smallz kicks out…Willard quickly spins to a mount position and hammers away on Boogie with right hands…Boogie flailing and trying to escape this beatdown Willard who is showing no mercy at all…Boogie manages to grab the ropes and pull himself to the floor. Willard right out after him.

DM: Don’t go around the corner guys, the floor there is still sticky from that crap Rezin threw!

DT: Right hands by Willard who BASHES Boogie’s head into the steps…Willard now shoves him back first into the railing! Adrian just manhandling Boogie here…Can Smallz find a way to get back in this match?

MN: He just fought Rich Mahogany and now he’s fighting a walking cesspool, if something like this happened to one of your heroes you two would be crying a river, but it’s happening to one of the guys who calls Dan Ryan on his crap and it’s fair…I see how you are…

DT: Boogie thrown back into the ring…Willard is going up the ropes…Oh goodness me I can’t say I’ve seen this before…WILLARD WITH AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP ROPE!! THE COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: Wow that was close! Willard nearly had it won there…He gets Boogie baxk to his feet…PULLS HIM INTO A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!! BOOGIE’S HEAD SNAPS BACK…WILLARD DIVES ON HIM FOR THE COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

MN: What heart! What heart from Boogie Smallz, and this is the man Dan Ryan wants to fire, he’s a fool! He’s a fool to try to kick this kind of talent out of EPW!

DT: Boogie isn’t going down without a fight…that much is for sure. Willard gives the cut throat sign…He’s going to try to end it now…He lifts up Boogie…He’s trying to set for the Higher Vision. Boogie hammering away with elbows…He fought his way out! Boogie with kicks to the ribs of Willard and now throws him into the ropes…Clothesline by Boogie misses…Willard on his way back…BOTH MEN CLASH HEADS!! WILLARD AND SMALLZ DOWN AND OUT ON THE MAT!

MN: Crawl Boogie! Crawl if you want that belt, Willard is out of it!

DM: I’m pretty sure Boogie’s out to Neely.

MN: Boogie’s not coated in toxic waste, so he’ll get up, Willard might melt into jello while he’s laying on the mat.

DT: Boogie is slowly stirring…He’s crawling towards Willard…Boogie throws an arm across Willard’s chest…Ref over…THE COUNT!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Willard keeps this match going! Smallz pulls himself to his feet…He grabs Willard, Double Arm DDT set up…AND HE STICKS IT!! WILLARD PLANTED!! BOOGIE WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: Boogie pops to his feet in disgust…He is shooting daggers at the ref as he now finally goes back to Willard and he looks like he’s going for the kill…He’s got Willard set…99 PROBLEMZ POWER BOMB!! HE STICKS IT!!! WILLARD IS OUT!!! BOOGIE WITH THE COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THRE-NO! NO!!!!

DT: WILLARD GOT A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! Boogie can’t believe it…He drags Willard back into the center of the ring!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DM: Boogie is freaking out in the ring, he was so close and it didn’t happen.

MN: Calm down big man, you still got this!

DT: Boogie grabs Willard, he’s going for another power bomb…Trying to get him up…NO! Willard fighting…WILLARD JUST POWERED BOOGIE UP! BACKDROP!! Boogie gets to his feet…WILLARD WITH A RUNNING KNEE TO THE HEAD!! HE BLASTED HIM!! WILLARD WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

tHR-NO!!

MN: Ahhh!!!! To close!!

DT: Willard gets Boogie to his feet…Right hand after right hand now hammering Smallz…Smallz staggering…Willard off the ropes…BIG CLOTHESLINE! BOOGIE DUCKED!! WILLARD HIT THE REF!! Willard looking at the fallen ref in horror…Turns back to Boogie…BOOGIE WITH A VIOLENT KICK TO THE GROIN!!

MN: I felt that from here, my grandkids will feel that!

DT: Boogie just crossed Willard’s eyes with that cheap shot…Willard and the ref both down…Boogie falls back to a corner and he’s just glaring at Willard…Willard in a fetal ball on the mat, he’s slowly stirring as is the ref…Willard on his hands and knees…BOOGIE CHARGES AT HIM…BOOGIE WITH A PUNT TO THE SKULL OF WILLARD!!! HE KNOCKED HIM SENSELESS!! BOOGIE WITH THE COVER...The ref slowly crawling over…

MN: COUNT DAMMIT COUNT!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!

THREE!!!!

[Bell rings, crowd booing as “Black Superman” by Above the Law plays. Boogie rolls to the floor and grabs the Intercontinental title off the time keeper’s table and starts his way to the back.]

TF: Here is your winner and NEW!! EPW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!! BOOGIE!! SMMMMMALLLZZZZZ!!!! [More booing!]

DT: Boogie Smallz did it, it was a pretty dishonorable win if you ask me but he does have the title.

MN: Nobody cares what you think, what matters is who got his arm raised, and that’s Boogie Smallz, Dan Ryan’s nightmare just came true and I love it!

DT: I have a feeling Adrian Willard will have a lot to say about the actions of Boogie in winning that title, and what Rezin did to him earlier in the match, lord knows what the heck it was he got dumped all over him.

MN: Willard lost, Boogie won, talk about the winner, oh wait, you’re a Dan Ryan shill so you’ll bury Boogie any chance you get.

DT: I’m going to ignore Neely, and get ready while we take a short break.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Possible Match Stipulations for Wrestleverse Main Event

 

[DBrunkGXW]

NO DQ, STREET FIGHT: "Triple X" Sean Stevens v. Cameron Cruise

[FADEIN: The broadcast table, all three men looking at the camera.]

DT: Well up next we have a grudge match that has been years in the making as Sean Stevens and Cameron Cruise are about to go one on one with no disqualifications, anything goes in this match.

MN: No rules and no excuses for Cruise after he gets mauled by Triple X!

DT: I’m getting word…What’s happening? Get a camera in the back!

[Shaky camera shot of Cruise and Stevens throwing punches at each other in the backstage area.]

DT: Cruise and Stevens not waiting to get into the ring, this fight has started in the back. Cruise rocked by a series of right hands and he’s staggering…Stevens grabs him and DRIVES HIM INTO A WALL. Stevens now putting the boots to Cruise who is crawling along the floor.

MN: This punk jumped Stevens and now he’s going to pay for it!

DM: We have no idea who started this fight Neely.

MN: I’m not letting facts get in the way of my opinions, I’m an America and whatever I think is the truth…IS THE TRUTH!

DT: Cruise back to his feet and Stevens shoves him into a door…They are on a concourse in the ballpark! Cruise catches Stevens with a right hand and another…Stevens gets driven into a wall…Stevens grabbed by Cruise and Cruise grabs him…HIPTOSSES HIM INTO A CONCESSION STAND!

MN: This is the closest to greatness that soda jerker will ever be! Bask in being close to the legend that is Stevens!

DT: Cruise walks over and grabs Stevens…STEVENS CRACKS HIM WITH THE METAL ICE SCOOPER! Cruise dazed…DRIVEN FACE FIRST INTO THE DRINK MACHINE! Cruise slumps to the floor as Stevens hops back over the counter and now stomping away on Cruise.

MN: Now I’m happy this punk pulled this stunt, this isn’t even a match, it’s just a fight and now Cruise is going to get it and nothing is going to stop it!

DT: Cruise stumbling towards a T-Shirt stand…Stevens charges him…CRUISE WITH A BACKDROP! STEVENS CRASHES THROUGH A TABLE!! Cruise hammering down on Stevens with punches now…He grabs a Stevens T-Shirt and is now STRANGLING TRIPLE X WITH IT!

DM: Cruise isn’t going to roll over for Triple X, he’s a proud man and he isn’t backing down from a fight.

MN: Drop dead, just drop dead Dean! Cruise isn’t in the same zip code as Stevens!

DT: Stevens fights to his feet, Cruise spins him around…CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE GROUND! Now Cruise grabs the table all those shirts were on and DUMPS it on Stevens…Cruise JUMPS on the table and DRIVES it into the EPW Hall of Famer.

DM: Cruise now dishing out the punishment. In what is a straight up street fight now Cruise has the upper hand.

MN: It won’t last for long…IT CAN’T…C’mon Trip, take care of business!

DT: Cruise grabs Stevens and he’s dragging him towards a doorway…They are in the crowd now! [Crowd pops seeing the two men!] Stevens trips Cruise…CRUISE JUST SPILLED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STEPS!

MN: Yes! There we go! Get it working champ!

DT: Stevens trying to clear out the cobwebs as Cruise is laying on the concrete having just bounced his way down those steps. Stevens walking down now and he picks Cruise up and he’s hammering him with right hands…Stevens backs up…X-FACTOR! NO! Cruise went down the next flight of steps, he’s bailed out and avoided getting clipped by that Siperkick!

MN: He rain! Call it like it is! This coward is running from a fight!

DT: Stevens now giving chase as Cruise has made his way down to the floor seating area…Stevens catches up to him and pops him with a right hand, another shot! Stevens hooks him…SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! Cruise hits the ground HARD as Triple X has re-taken control of this fight!

DM: And it is a fight, no bell has sounded, this is a pure brawl out here.

MN: They are settling this once and for all and Stevens is showing Cruise who the man is!

DT: Stevens grabs Cruise and starts dragging him towards the ring…This crowding cheering Stevens on as he gets Cruise to the metal railing and throws him onto the floor outside the ring…Cruise crawling away from Stevens who again gives chase…CRUISE JUST HIT STEVENS IN THE KNEE WITH A WRENCH!! He got a wrench from under the ring and just cracked Stevens in the knee with it!

MN: That cheapshotting piece of trash! To hell with you Cruise!

DT: Stevens clutching at his knee in agony as Cruise grabs him and throws him into the ring, Cruise enters the ring now and he’s yelling at the ref to ring the bell…The ref asking Stevens if he wants this to be official and now the ref calls for the bell [Bell rings] we’ve had ourselves a heck of a fight up to this point and now we’re finally getting ourselves a match!

MN: This is the heart of Triple X, even with this punk taking liberties with a weapon Stevens is game for a fight, you got this Trip!

DT: Cruise going right to work on that knee with kicks and stomps…Cruise now grabs Stevens…FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! NO! STEVENS WITH A ROLL UP!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!

DT: Cruise rolls through and hops to his feet and grabs that bad leg of Stevens again…ENZIGURI BY STEVENS!! STEVENS WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

MN: Count faster you slug! Three isn’t that big a number!

DT: Stevens still hobbling but he’s got Cruise reeling…Stevens LACES Cruise’s chest with a series of knife edge chops! Stevens grabs Cruise’s arm…SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! NO! Cruise ducks…Cruise grabs the leg…He gets Stevens up…KNEE BREAKER! Stevens crashes to the mat! Cruise still holding onto that leg. He grabs Stevens and turns him over…HALF BOSTON CRAB!!

DM: A full Boston crab puts the pressure on the back, this hold puts all the pressure on the leg, Cruise trying to finish off Stevens by attacking the injured knee!

MN: Thank you captain obvious. How the hell do you get away with being paid for this tripe?

DT: Stevens howling in pain as Cruise is wrenching back on the knee…Stevens getting his hands under himself…HE PUSHES UP AND FLIPS CRUISE OVER! STEVENS ESCAPES!!

DM: But Stevens is still face down on the mat, Cruise is back up and going to the outside.

DT: Cruise grabs a chair, this is a no DQ match so anything goes and he BASHES STEVENS KNEE WITH THE CHAIR REPEATEDLY! Stevens in all sorts of trouble as Cruise now yelling for him to get up.

MN: This can’t be happening…Somebody has to stop this…

DT: Stevens slowly crawling to his feet…Cruise ready with the chair…Stevens is up…CRUISE SWINGS AND MISSES!! X-FACTOR INTO THE CHAIR!! STEVENS KNOCKED CRUISE OUT!!

MN: YES!! YES!!! CRAWL OVER AND COVER HIM!!

DT: Stevens down and clutching that knee, he is in a world of hurt, but Cruise is motionless on the other side of the ring, Stevens just has to get over there to make the cover…Can he make it?

DM: Stevens is barely moving himself, he’s just holding that injured knee laying face down on the mat…

MN: Get over there! Finish this bum!

DT: Stevens finally starting the crawl that leg is dead as he’s using the rest of his body to pull himself over to Cruise…Stevens is there! HE THROWS AN ARM OVER CRUISE’S CHEST!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: CRUISE KICKED OUT!!

MN: NO!!

DT: Stevens pulling himself up by the ropes…He’s to his feet…He’s trying to shake out that bad leg…He climbing the ropes…I guess he figures the X-Factor isn’t going to work so he’s got to do something else…FROG SPLASH OFF THE TOP ROPE!! CRUISE PULLED THAT CHAIR ON TOP OF HIMSELF!! BOTH MEN HURTING AS STEVENS CRASHED INTO THE CHAIR!!

DM: I don’t know if that was the smartest move in the world or not as Cruise had the chair driven into his chest, but he definitely made Stevens landing a bad one.

MN: Cruise is a moron! He does dumb things! It’s just a shame a great warrior like Stevens gets hurt due to his stupidity!

DT: Both men pulling themselves up by the ropes…Stevens glaring at Cruise…He’s lining him up…He’s going for it…X-FACTOR!! CRUISE SIDESTEPS!! STEVENS KNEE BUCKLES!! STEVENS CRASHES TO THE MAT CLUTCHING AT HIS KNEE!!

MN: AHHHH!!!!

DT: Cruise grabs the leg…FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!! Cruise near the ropes…HE GRABS THE TOP ROPE FOR LEVERAGE!! Stevens sits up like he’s been hit with a cattle prod!! Cruise wrenching away with the hold as Stevens is flailing in agony!! Stevens lays on his back…SHOULDERS DOWN!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Stevens rolls a shoulder, Triple X howling in pain as Cruise keeps the hold on…Stevens shoulders down again!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: Stevens sits up again, he’s trying to reverse this hold, but with Cruise’s grip on the top rope, I don’t know if he can do it!

MN: He can do it! Stevens can pull this off…Fight it Trip! Power through!

DT: Stevens fighting, he’s trying to turn Cruise over…Cruise loses his grip with one arm! He’s fighting…Stevens has him half way!! CRUISE GETS IT BACK!! CRUISE USING BOTH HANDS ON THE ROPES AGAIN!! STEVENS SLUMPS TO HIS BACK!! SHOULDERS DOWN!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

[Bell rings. Cruise pops to his feet with his arms raised as “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against The Machine plays, the crowd booing loudly.]

TF: The winner of this contest…CAMERON!! CRUISE!!!!

DT: Cruise has done it, he’s beaten Triple X here at Unleashed in what was a wild brawl that spanned just about the whole arena.

DM: This was a street fight and a no DQ match all in one and in the end, Cameron Cruise is the one left standing.

DT: Mike Neely might be out of commission for our next match, as he’s at a loss for words here at the broadcast table, hopefully we’ll be able to get him back into the swing of things and bring you all more action next!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Freed at Last

VOICE: Hello everyone!

[A man steps through the curtains, he’s balding, maybe in his late 40’s, gold framed glasses, dark blue suit, light blue shirt, black tie.]

FREEDMAN: I’m Gary Freedman and EPW management has taken notice that well, really a lot of the locker room has issues with Dan Ryan, so I have been called upon to act as a sort of liaison between management and the talent in a way to try to bridge the gap between the two sides and try to get everyone together in a more constructive manner.

[Freedman makes his way to ringside.]

FREEDMAN: Now first and foremost, I’m here to make sure things go down as fair and square as possible and that the sort of nonsense that generally happens in this industry is kept down to a minimum if at all possible. So my first act here will be to have security throw these four men out of the building. Come on down here boys, take these guys away! [Crowd pops, the four men start holding their tickets up and protesting]

DT: This is great, The First’s thugs are being sent packing!

DM: I’ve known Gary for years in the back and I have to say I’m in favor of having him out here throwing his weight around like this!

MN: You both know I would be overjoyed in that painted up loser got his ass kicked, but this…This smells like the fix is in for Impulse, I’m not liking this one bit!

[The First, in his wrestling gear comes storming down the long walkway to the ring]

FIRST: What the hell do you think you’re doing?! These are paying customers here to see a pay per view!

FREEDMAN: These men are not welcome here and EPW has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason, it’s on the back of the ticket! [Crowd pops. Security circles the four men.]

FIRST: Don’t you guys move, stay where you are, this isn’t right, you paid to see this show and you should be able to see it…If you do this…I’m not wrestling the main event! [Boos!] I will protest this action and I’ll walk right out of this building right npw!

FREEDMAN: You do that and I’ll strip you of the EPW World Title and suspend you indefinitely without pay! [Pop!]

FIRST: I’ll sue your ass! I’ll sue this whole company, I’ll own you and EPW by the time it’s all said and done.

FREEDMAN: You’ll sue us? Kid our lawyers have lawyers, this is the biggest wrestling company on earth, I welcome you trying to sue us when you’re the one who’ll be in breach of contract. You come at us in the courthouse and we will eat you for lunch! Now get these men out of here! And you, get ready to get your ass kicked tonight! [Pop!]

[First glares at Freedman]

FIRST: You all want Impulse to be champion so bad you can taste it. The all American kid, the poster boy you’ve all been dreaming of for years…Well it’s not going to happen. It doesn’t matter how badly you rig the game in his favor, Impulse can’t beat me. I’ll show you and all these idiots here in Texas that I am the EPW World Champion and nobody…Least of all Impulse…Is going to beat me. [Boos!]

[First storms towards the back, he can be heard yelling “This isn’t right” as he walks.]

DT: Well Gary Freedman has laid down the law and hopefully now we’re going to get something resembling a fair fight in tonight’s main event.

DM: I know that’s what I want to see and I’m sure that’s what the fans here want to see.

MN: I don’t want to see it, I want First to dent chair caving in Impulse’s head…Mostly cause I know the reverse will never happen with that goody goody boy scout. Although if we’re going to have this putz who is drunk on power making rulings like this, all I can say is, EPW is going to suck.

DT: Only in your mind Neely. We got a big match coming up next fans.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

EPW World Tag Team Championship: Dirk Dickwood Presents (cc) v. Animezing Dragons!

[CUT TO: the ring, where a pair of wrestlers wearing matching blue and white tights and white boots are getting checked by the referee. One has shoulder length blond hair and a tattoo of angel wings on his back, while the other has short brown hair and no tattoos. They each stand around the 6’ mark and are clearly high flyers]

DT: Well, fans, it’s time for the World Tag Team title match and we’ve not heard anything to say that Dirk Dickwood Presents are in the arena. Dan Ryan set something up as a fall back to give you a match, and he’s giving the opportunity of a lifetime to this team from the independent circuit, Angel and Gambler.

DM: They’re graduates of the Blitz academy run by former Empire Pro manager, Leonard Johnson, so they should be a strong test for the Dragons tonight.

DT: Let’s go to Tony Fatora for the introductions.

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for ONE FALL… and is for the EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING… WORLD… TAG TEAM… CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Due to being unable to get a hold of the champions, Dirk Dickwood Presents, Dan Ryan has ruled that if they do not get to the ring by the time the bell sounds, the titles will be vacant, and challenged for by the number one contenders, and the team to my right. Introducing first… at a total combined weight of 440lbs… hailing from Los Angeles and New York, respectively… they are…

ANGEL!! And GAMBLER!!

[The crowd give very muted applause for the team in the ring.

CUE UP: “Ikari No Jyushin” as gold and green lights scatter and dance throughout the arena]

TF: And their opponents… Otaku… Karl “The Dragon” Brown…

ANIMEZING DRAGONS!!!

[“The Dragon” and Otaku step from behind the curtain, Brown in his leather coat and green/gold tights, Otaku in his green and gold tribute to Jushin Liger. The two pose at the top of the entrance way, with Otaku pointing to the sky as pyro explodes at the mention of LIGER!

The two men high five each other, making their way to the ring at a stroll, both playing to the fans as they walk]

MN: I don’t see why they get a title match against no hopers!

DT: I know Brown wasn’t exactly happy backstage when he heard about this, but Dan Ryan gave DDP until the bell sounds to get here.

DM: And don’t forget, Brown will wrestle anyone who Ryan puts in front of him. The last time he didn’t know his opponent in advance he went on to an almost two year title reign.

DT: The Dragons are the clear favourites.

DM: Yes, but Angel and Gambler come from a strong training pedigree

DT: WAIT A MINUTE!! DDP FROM BEHIND!! DDP JUST JUMPED THE BARRICADE!!


MN: HA!

DT: Farthington attacking Brown, right hands, Hank has Otaku’s cape pulled over his head, clubbing blows to the back. Farthington with a whip into the barricade

DM: Where did they come from?

MN: They’re here to wrestle.

DM: Where did they come from though?!

MN: The crowd. They’re true pros, ready to go any time.

DT: Fans, I’m getting word through that Dan Ryan is okaying this – the referee having words with Angel and Gambler.

MN: Mister Ryan did say that they had until the bell sounded to get here.

DM: You can bet that Angel and Gambler will get another opportunity!

DT: They aren’t happy about this, DDP are taking it to Animezing Dragons! Hank with a suplex on the ramp on Otaku, Farthington has Brown against the ring apron, hard knife edge chops, Angel and Gambler making their way to the back. Hank with a slam on Otaku, charges toward Brown to help his partner, Brown ducks! Hank straight into the ring apron, Brown with a thumb to the eye on Farthington

MN: NO!!

DT: HANK ALMOST GETS DECAPITATED!! Brown with a HUGE jumping spin kick, Hank is out!

DM: Farthington turns around, Brown with a boot to the midsection, chucks him against the ring apron – kick to the chest!

DT: Brown finally gets his coat off, knee to the midsection of Farthington, has this match even

DM: Russian leg sweep!

MN: STANDING SHOOTING STAR!!

DT: Otaku with a standing shooting star on Farthington! Has this match even started yet?

DM: No bell’s sounded yet but that’s clearly not stopping either team., the Animezing Dragons giving as good as they got.

DT: Brown peels Farthington off the floor, rolls him into the ring, Otaku dashes past and slides under the bottom rope. Boot to the spine followed up by an elbow drop!

Into the cover, quick kickout.

DM: Hank getting to his feet after that kick to the head, Otaku has a rear chin lock applied on Farthington, really grinding it in.

[[[Otaku quickly changes gear, lifting Farthington up and hitting a beautiful vertical suplex before tagging in his partner, who vaults over the top rope and drops an elbow in one fluid move, getting a two count]]]

DT: “The Dragon” in now, looking to really take it to the members of DDP.

DM: Brown’s very good at taking apart someone piece by piece.

DT: Backbreaker by Brown, holding Farthington up – big slam!

DM: Into the cover but Farthington was too close to the ropes.

DT: Tag out to Otaku, quick tags from the challengers.

MN: This’ll tire them out.

DT: Brown with an Irish whip on Farthington to a neutral corner, Otaku charges with a splash, clothesline by Brown! Farthington staggers out as Brown leaves the ring, Otaku – gutwrench suplex!

And Hank in quickly to break up the cover. Dirk Dickwood looks almost apoplectic out there!

DM: The sneak attack didn’t work.

MN: They got held up in traffic! They aren’t properly warmed up yet.

DT: The referee forcing Hank out of the ring, Otaku with Farthington by the head – scoop slam! Climbs up to the top rope, Dickwood up on the apron.

MN: HA!

DM: The ref was ordering Dickwood off the apron, Otaku leapt off and met the mat hard! Hank yanking Farthington out of the way behind the ref’s back, and the ref sees a tag.

DT: Hank still holding his jaw a little, that was a smart move from the tag team champions, breaks up the Dragon’s momentum and gets the fresh man in the ring.

DM: Hank quickly with a second slam on Otaku, driving the knee repeatedly into the skull. If you want to slow someone down, make sure they can’t see straight.

MN: And detach a retina!

DM: Very likely.

DT: The referee getting involved, telling Hank to watch it with the knees. He scoops Otaku off the mat again, Irish whip, and a nice shoulder tackle.

DM: Brown watching from the corner, Hank takes a step towards him but you can see the veteran not move.

DT: Otaku looking a bit groggy, Hank with the head, spins him around and takes him up and over with a release German suplex. Tag made, quick tags from both teams when they can.

MN: And some nice double teaming! Hank with Otaku in the full nelson, Farthington with a double axe from the top.

DT: And Cecil planting a knee in the back, yanking back on the chin, putting pressure on the neck and spine.

DM: You can say what you like about their methods, but Dirk Dickwood Presents have been getting results since entering EPW. They could be in for a long, long title reign.

DT: Switches to a rear chinlock, notice he’s wrapped his leg around Otaku’s. Dean, what does that do?

DM: Makes it harder for you to move. It takes away one of the legs so you can’t push yourself over to the ropes as easily, means you have to exert more energy, and also lets Cecil add more pressure to the neck.

[[[Cecil Farthington cranks on the neck, but after a dozen more seconds realises he needs to do something else to make the anime fan quit. Releasing the hold he grabs Otaku’s head and chin, forces him to stand, and after a stiff forearm uppercut boots him in the midsection and drills him with a swinging neck breaker before tagging in Hank again. Hank immediately boots Otaku in the side of the face and follows it up with a knee to the back of the head which gets a two count]]]

DT: Hank looking every inch a predator in there, stalking Otaku – tag made to Farthington as well, double suplex by the tag team champions.

MN: Dragon loser’s looking edgy out on the apron.

DT: The champions are attacking Otaku’s head and neck, focusing in, looking maybe for the knock out.

DM: That’s one way to win.

DT: Farthington tags Hank back in, gives them another five count.

DM: Hart Attack! Big impact to the back of the head.

DT: Cover, the ref getting Farthington out of the ring

MN: Would’ve been over if the ref had done his job and counted!

DT: The ref was doing his job getting Farthington out of the ring, Mike!

DM: It was a close two count, Otaku likely regretting going up to the top rope so early.

DT: Hank with an Irish whip, hip toss and another knee to the head. Tries to antagonise Brown, peels Otaku off the mat, Otaku with a right to the midsection! Right to the jaw, Otaku with a boot to the gut, off the ropes, shut down with a powerslam.

[[[With his manager telling him to keep focused on the ring, Hank tags out to Cecil Farthington. The more technical man grabs Otaku in a waistlock, taking him down and floating over into a side headlock – but his joy is short lived, as Otaku manages to roll him up and forces him to break the hold or be pinned! Farthington tries to quickly regain the initiative with a punt to the head but the masked man has it scouted]]]

MN: Take enough boots to the head and you move, huh?

DT: Otaku with a desperation move there! Brilliant dropkick as Farthington turned around, can Otaku get over for the

MN: That answers that.

DT: Hank in and drags Otaku back to his corner!

DM: Nice use of the 5 count.

DT: Farthington with a tag to Hank, Otaku trying to drag himself to his feet, he might have a concussion with all these shots to the head he’s taken.

DM: Hank hooks him, Otaku fights out of the leg sweep! Held onto the top rope, Dickwood grabs him from behind as Farthington distracted the ref, come on!

DT: Otaku turns around into a belly to belly by Hank

MN: CHEATER!!

DT: BROWN WITH ANOTHER SPIN KICK! Brown almost kicked Hank’s head off!

MN: DISQUALIFY HIM!

DT: The ref was distracted by Farthington, Mike!

MN: Still! Disqualify him!

DT: Brown holding his hands up like he did nothing.

DM: Otaku clawing his way over, Hank is laid out! It’s easy to forget that at 30 Brown is a master of Taekwondo.

DT: Otaku trying to make the tag, Hank stirring, grabs his foot – tag made!

DM: Brown goes right past Hank, knocks Farthington off the ring apron!

DT: Turns around, ducks a wide right hand, arm drag followed up with a drop kick! Hank through the ropes to the outside!

DM: Dickwood doing the sensible thing, gathering his troops.

DT: Brown’s crouched on the top rope, Farthington spots him –

MN: Well?!

DT: Brown stays where he is as DDP move around the ring!

DM: He’s teasing them!

DT: DDP trying to gather themselves, Brown across to the other ropes – and again perching on the top rope.

DM: Dickwood taking his team away from that corner

DT: PLANCHA!!

DM: Otaku with a suicide dive onto Dirk Dickwood and his team!!

DT: Otaku with a suicide plancha as Brown had the champions distracted!

DM: Brown just clapping his hands, the crowd really cheering for Otaku, I’m not sure how smart that was after the damage he’s taken.

DT: Brown to the outside, grabs Farthington and roles him into the ring. Picks him up, side Russian leg sweep!

MN: Why’re you counting?!

DT: Huh?

MN: Hank’s the legal man!

DM: He’s right.

MN: Yay!

DT: The referee doesn’t seem to remember though, as Brown’s continuing on the attack, snap suplex. Peels Farthington back up off the mat, Irish whip, reversed, Brown up and over, runs the ropes, flying forearm!

One!


TWO!!



Hank in to break it up!

DM: Otaku back into the ring, trading rights with Hank. Brown in from behind on Hank, grabs him by the waist – German suplex! And Otaku jumps over with an elbow drop.

DT: The ref’s starting to lose control!

DM: Brown has Farthington, rake of the face! Boot to the gut by Cecil, Otaku and Hank going at it in the corner, Hank getting the upper hand. Farthington stomps at the knee of Brown, backs him into the corner.

DT: Irish whip by Hank on Otaku, Otaku reverses, ducks a clothesline on the reversal, dropkicks Hank as Cecil fires Brown out with an Irish Whip, Brown takes Hank down with a shoulder tackle!

DM: I think Hank was off balance for that, all that twisting.

DT: Cecil hooks Brown by the waist, Brown goes behind, shoves him – Otaku with a dropkick!

DM: Has him hooked – Hank saves Farthington, that looked like a Dragon’s Bite coming up!

[[[Hank backs Brown into the corner, and as Otaku tries to intervene, Farthington charges, clotheslining the masked man as both spill to the outside]]]

MN: Now the legal man’s in the ring.

DT: Hank has Brown by the throat, chop across the chest, big clubbing right to the jaw. Irish whip, Brown in hard, scoop by Hank!

MN: This is over!

DT: Hank picking Brown off the mat, signalling for something, a brainbuster maybe – Brown drops down behind, knee in the back, DRAGON’S BITE!! DRAGON’S BITE!!!



ONE!!!!





TWO!!!!




THRNO!! Farthington interrupts the fall!

DM: Dickwood almost had a heartattack!

DT: Farthington with an elbow to the back of the head, trying to get Brown to his feet. Boot to the gut, hooks the head, Brown slips out, goes behind, roll up

ONE!!



TWO!


Kickout by Farthington!

DM: Otaku’s back in the ring.

DT: Otaku being held back by the referee, forced back to his corner.

DM: DICKWOOD’S GIVEN FARTHINGTON A BELT!

DT: Hank’s slowly stirring, Farthington with a belt – MISSES! Brown boot to the back, DRAGON’S BITE!! DRAGON’S BITE!! Throws the belt to the outside, the cover


ONE!



TWO!!



THREE!! THREE!!! OTAKU HELD BACK HANK!! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!

MN: NO!! NO!!

DT: Yes, Mike! DDP tried a sneak attack, they dominated Otaku, they tried to cheapshot Brown, but Animezing Dragons are three time world tag team champions!!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the winners… and… NNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW… Empire Pro Wrestling WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS….



AAAAAAANNNNNIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEZZZZZIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG…DDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!

MN: This is a travesty! They weren’t warmed up! They’d just showed up to the arena! I demand a rematch!

DT: Folks, Mike might not like it, but Brown and Otaku are the new world tag team champions! A third time with the belts, how long before ANYONE can take the belts off them this time?!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

MAIN EVENT: EPW World Championship - The First (c) v. Impulse

[An aerial blimp shot shows the Ballpark in Arlington of Dallas, Texas, filled to mass capacity, including the additional premium seating filling up the outer perimeter of the field, the ring set up squarely on the pitcher’s mound, while a long entry aisle leads up to Greene’s Hill, where the stage and curtain has been set up.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a long evening here at the Ballpark in Arlington, and Unleashed has been nothing short of a monumental event thus far! We’ve reached our main event of the evening! The World Champion, THE FIRST, puts his title on the line against the fastest rising superstar in professional wrestling history, IMPULSE!!

DM: This is a match that has been YEARS in the making, Dave! These two absolutely lit up the airwaves in the weeks leading up to this event! YouTube practically EXPLODED with the promos these guys traded back and forth! And now that verbal battle will become a physical one as these two finally meet in the ring, with the greatest prize in sports entertainment at stake!

[The camera cuts to a quick sweep of fans sitting in the ringside seats. A young male fan no more than thirteen holds up a neon green sign that reads “THE FIRST is THE WORST!” Next to him, a rather fine-looking woman whose age is hidden under a vintage indie-league era Impulse mask holds up a sign of her own that reads “MARRY ME, IMPULSE!!” Both are cheering and look excited to be there.]

DT: I’m just happy that security moved all of those hooligans out of the front rows... things DEFINITELY seem a lot more fair under these conditions!

MN: Sure, but what is NOT fair is the fact that I have to sit through this little pissing match of egos between two of the biggest pretenders I’ve ever seen step into a wrestling ring.

[The camera goes to the commentary table at ringside, as Dave and Dean look to Mike Neely, who couldn’t look any more bored to be there.]

DM: Come on, Neels... you can’t mean that!

MN: It should either be Cameron Cruise or Sean Stevens taking the belt off of that weak freak, The First! What this company needs is a set of BALLS holding the World Title! Are you telling me that shrimp boyscout IMPULSE is going to be the guy?!

DT: If there is anybody in this industry who can legitimately overcome the schemes of The First with his gift at wrestling, it’s Randall Knox, better known to the masses as Impulse!

MN: Whatever... we all know how The First works. We saw it at Russian Roulette, and we saw it at Black Dawn... and if you two rubes honestly believe you’re not going to see it again here tonight, then you’re the most gullible pair of morons I’ve ever seen!

DT: To be honest, none of us know what to expect from this match... but I hardly doubt any of us will expect to be disappointed!

MN: Speak for yourself...

DT: Ugh, let’s just go to the ring...

[The shot fades to TONY FATORA, standing alongside senior official PAT JONES.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... it is time for our MAIN EVENT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

[The lights cut to black.]

Crowd: *GASP!!*

[CUE UP: “Revolution Baby” by Queen V.]

[Spotlights surrounding the entry-way flash repetitively in time with the music, and the audience quickly follows suit by clapping in rhythm.]

“LEFT...”

“LEFT...”

“LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT...”

[The challenger’s video package plays, showing a series of close off-angle shots of his frame, all hiding the face, while he stands before an American Flag with pagan crosses in place of stars.]

“REVOLUTION, BABY...”

“THAT’S MY SOUND!”

“IF YOU THINK IT’S CRAZY...”

“THEN TURN IT DOWN!”

“REVOLUTION, BABY...”

“WE’RE IN AND WE’RE OUT!”

“NO MORE FEELIN’ LAZY...”

“WE’RE BACK IN TOWN!”

[The camera finally comes to the face of IMPULSE, and zooms in on the determined gaze in his eyes.]

SFX: *KA-BOOM!!*

[Pyros shoot up from the sides of the stage and EXPLODE over the stage as the lights come up, revealing IMPULSE and ROSIE JONES standing at the top of the rampway. Randall Knox looks absolutely pumped, holding up his fists and rallying the swarms of cheering fans packing the field for their support.]

Crowd: *POP!!*

[A few moments later, the duo make their way down the ramp, and begin the lengthy trek toward the ring, stopping at several points to clap hands and meet with fans.]

MN: Oh man, this could take FOREVER...

DT: The challenger, IMPULSE, has arrived, to a MONOLITHIC OVATION from the Dallas wrestling fans! The moment of triumph has finally arrived for the Marathon Man!

DM: There has NEVER been an athlete in all my years with this sport, with the ability and intelligence and charisma as had by this young man! We’ve always talked about his potential, and it seemed like there was NOTHING out of his reach! Now, the man who has proclaimed himself the BEST in the WORLD need only to step up and take it!

MN: This guy just makes me want to vomit!

DT: Hope you brought your doggy bag then, Neely!

MN: I mean, for crying out loud, why did they have to make the aisle SO FRIGGIN’ LONG?! Am I really going to have to listen to this stupid wannabe rocker chick’s entire lame song?

DM: Maybe if you gave it an ear instead of giving it your ever-lovely attitude, you might actually LEARN something about the man that is Randall Knox!

DT: Right you are, Dean-O! Impulse has brought a REVOLUTION to professional wrestling, and whether you like it or not, he’ll see that it’s here to stay!

MN: I don’t know about a “revolution”, but this girl’s vocals are nothing short of REVOLTING!

[As they reach the ring area, Impulse and Rosie make an orbit around the squared-circle, clapping hands with all of the fans. Impulse acknowledges the female fan of the Marathon Man with the marriage proposal in her hands with a smirk. After completing the circle, Impulse shares a final moment of compassion with Calico Rose, his rock and biggest fan through his entire brief yet storied career, and ascends the steps to enter the ring. Inside, he boosts himself onto all four corners one at a time, pumping his fists and slapping his chest, getting the crowd worked up as they clap and stomp in time with the music.]

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

[All of a sudden, both the music and lights cut out...]

Crowd: *GASP!!*

SFX: *DOOONNNGGGG...*

[CUE UP: “Dancing Mad” by Nobou Uematsu, in full orchestral form.]

[Only the EmpireTron is lit up as the entire Ballpark in Arlington rests under a blanket of darkness. Across a wasteland and golden landscape, the shot pans up a tower, made up of a legion of demonic clowns, jesters, jokers, and harlequins. Closer inspection reveals different forms of the World Champion, with the rise from bottom to top following the evolution of his identity, from the Forsaken flyer, to the light-bearer of HOPE, to the Kingslayer of the Cage, to the mysterious Dis, and finally, reclined at the peak of the orgy of lost souls, THE FIRST reclines with the World Title draped over his shoulder, the ghostly visage of MUSE smiling over his shoulder.]

MN: What the HELL am I looking at?! Are we watching a wrestling match, or playing Super Nintendo!?

[As the music builds up and flourishes, a SILHOUETTE descends seemingly out of thin air before the EmpireTron. Spotlights hit the stage, revealing the World Champion -- THE FIRST -- suspended over the stage by a pair of cables, decked out in full final form Kefka apparel: hair dyed a golden yellow and tied back with an accentuated feather, ring apparel bright purple in color, face-paint likewise purple with red markings around the eyes along with a Glasgow smile, a golden sash wrapped around his body, and most prominent of all, the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE draped across the champion’s shoulder.]

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday [EPW Mix]” by the Birthday Massacre.]

SFX: *BOOM!-BOOM!-BOOM!-BOOM!-BBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!*

[The black sky hanging over the ballpark lights up into an ocean of golden and purple light as fireworks shoot into the air and explode, as if the heavens have been ripped open and God was appearing before all of mankind. The First’s feet touch the stage, and he brisky begins walking toward the stage, holding the Ankh belt over his head and letting the golden sash slip off as he advances toward the ring and a good clip, eyes boring holes into the challenger.]

MN: WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! Is he supposed to be GAWD, or am I looking at the Dallas Pride Parade on full display?!

DM: Relax, Neels... obviously, the World Champion is paying tribute to one of the greatest video game villains of all time, Kefka Palazzo from Final Fantasy VI!

MN: So does he sing the National Anthem off-key, or something?

DM: No, you’re getting him confused with ENRICO Pallazzo from the Naked Gun!

MN: Man, I love that movie! “HEY, IT’S ENRICO PALLAZZO!”

DT: Ugh... aside from our partner’s commentary, folks, the World Champion is certainly making a stylish entrance here tonight at Unleashed! I almost wonder if this is how he sees himself sometimes!

DM: He definitely suffers from a God complex, but what’s a professional wrestler without an ego?

DT: Good point... in any case, The First has arrived, thankfully ALONE for once, and what started back when these two met in King of the Cage has finally come to THIS MOMENT, as the World Champion puts the greatest prize on the line tonight against a highly touted challenger!

DM: The First has been wanting this fight for a LONG time! If there’s anybody he could beat in this sport that would legitimize everything he’s tried to accomplish over his long career in Empire Pro, a clean victory over the Marathon Man would be the act that would immortalize him as a legend!

MN: You say it, but... this man is the biggest charlatan that ever existed, and every moment he holds that World Heavyweight Title, he’s bringing nothing but DISHONOR to this company!

DT: For once... I’m inclined to agree with Mike!

DM: I’m shocked beyond all belief...

[The First reaches the ring, hopping up to the apron and turning to the crowd to show off the belt a final time.]

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

[He boldly steps into the ring, and makes no more attempts to posture, backing into his corner and staring daggers into Impulse as he holds the World Title close to chest.]

TF: The following contest is for the Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the WORLD, and it is scheduled for the one fall! Introducing first... THE CHALLENGER... hailing from New York City, New York!! Weighing in at one-hundred and eighty-eight pounds...

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!”

TF: ...he is the MARATHON MAN...

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

TF: THE BEST IN THE WORLD...

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

TF …IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMPUUUULLLSSE!!!!

[The crowd ROARS as Impulse raises his fists.]

TF: And now, the opponent... hailing from Salem, Massachusettes, and weighing in at two-hundred and ten pounds...

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

TF: He is the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION of EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING...

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

TF: HERE IS... TTHEEEE FFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRSSSTT!!!

[The First holds the World Title over his head, defiantly before the heated crowd, but never breaks eye contact with the challenger standing across the ring.]

Crowd: “YOU-SUCK!! YOU-SUCK!! YOU-SUCK!!”

DT: There is hardly a soul in the ballpark tonight in the corner of the World Champion! Just about EVERYBODY wants to see his reign as champion end here tonight!

DM: All the same, it won’t be an easy task! The champion has a look of FIERCE DETERMINATION in his eyes!

[Pat Jones retrieves the belt, and The First hesitates before he gives it away. After showing it off to the four sides of the ballpark, he hands it over to the timekeeper as Tony Fatora exits the ring. With everything in place, and the fans brimming with energy, he cues the bell.]

SFX: *DING!-DING!-DING!*

DT: And there’s the bell to begin the MAIN EVENT!! Both competitors lingering in their corners, eyeing each other with all of hell’s fire and fury, separated by only a few empty feet of canvas between them! Now they CLOSE IN on that distance, charging POINT BLANK at each other!

MN: It’s a HEAD-ON COLLISION!!

DT: The champion is coming in high -- and IMPULSE HITS HIM LOW, burying the shoulder in the mid-section and running the First right off his shoulders!

DM: Almost looked like the First WANTED that to happen!

DT: Impulse bulls him to the corner, but the World Champion KIPS HIS LEGS UP to the ropes! The First pushes off -- and the challenger GOES TO THE MAT after a Tornado DDT! Now we can see why, Dean-O!

DM: The First doesn’t let up even an inch, quickly locking his forearm across the windpipe and slipping Impulse into a guillotine choke! Impulse is quickly getting himself off the mat before this can be made any worse for him!

MN: I can think of at least a HUNDRED ways it could be worse...

DT: The First is trying to wrangle him down, but Impulse won’t have it, forcing himself onto his knees and trying to get a foothold! The champion looking for the leg scissor across the waist to improve his leverage... but Impulse with a SPRING to his legs, somersaults over onto his back!

DM: He’s still got the First’s head hooked into his arm! Both men struggling for control as they rise off the mat back to back... Impulse may have gotten out of this one, but the First isn’t about to quit!

DT: The First is trying to hook an arm and get something going... but the challenger turns him around the other way, coming out on top with the facelock!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Impulse had turned the tables on the champion, and now he’s got him right where he wants! Impulse with a legsweep to take down the First -- NO!! The First counters with a quick armdrag, throwing the challenger off!

DM: Impulse is right back up... but The First beat him to his feet, and goes behind him with a rear waistlock!

DT: Impulse is fighting the clasp in the champion’s hands... and he REVERSES, taking the left arm and wringing it around once! The First clenches his teeth, fights the pain... SOMERSAULTS forward onto his feet, and REVERSES the wristlock with one of his own, with enough snap to bring the challenger’s face down hard onto the canvas!

DM: This could be the opening the champ was looking for... he maintains control of the arm, and -- looks like he’s going for the FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

DT: Oh wow, The First, paying tribute to his former HOPE ally, Shawn Hart, with this submission attempt on the right arm of -- NO WAIT!! Impulse gets his LEGS UP and traps The First with a leg scissor across the head! The World Champion tries to break free, but Impulse draws him in... repositions the legs... right into a modified leg choke hold!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: Looks like a triangle choke, Dave! He’s got those legs wrapped across The First’s head, squeezing the life right out of him!

DT: The tables have been turned on The First, who was looking for a submission hold but instead found himself trapped in one! Perhaps he’ll think twice before he tries that again on the Best in the World!

MN: Seriously, would you stop calling him that already?

DT: The First in a predicament now, trying to force his way out of that hold, but I’m not sure he’s going to get out of it that way. He could always go for the ropes if -- wait, the champion suddenly LEANS FORWARD, and Impulse’s shoulders are PUT TO THE MAT!

ONE!

TWO!

Shoulder up!

DM: Can’t really hold it against him for trying, though...

DT: Impulse still maintains control of the triangle choke... and now the face of the World Champion is turning a deep shade of purple!

MN: As if it wasn’t purple enough!

DT: Hang on... The First is DEADLIFTING Impulse right off the mat... and DRIVES HIM DOWN back to the canvas on the BACK of his HEAD! Impulse STILL hanging on... The First picks up him... DROPS HIM AGAIN, and FINALLY, the challenger’s grip slips just enough for The First to frantically pull himself free!

MN: I’m surprised he didn’t crap his pants trying to lift somebody... but then again, Impulse is a twig just like he is.

DT: The First takes a moment to catch his breath while Impulse rubs the pain out of the back of his head... and both men recompose themselves at the same time, only to crash right back into each other into the lock-up!

DM: It’s been a see-saw battle since the opening bell, and now both men dance in circles across the ring as they struggle for control! Neither man is giving the other an inch!

DT: And now The First finds himself backed into a corner! Senior official Pat Jones is telling Impulse to make the break! There’s a degree of reluctance in his eyes, but he doesn’t hold him there for long, acknowledging the rules of the match!

DM: That may be the first time I’ve ever seen Impulse regard the rules with a degree of annoyance for keeping him from what he wants, and that is the World Heavyweight Title!

MN: I see it ALL the time... in the eyes of the REAL wrestlers, who understand that those pesky rules are more of guidelines, and you’d have to be some kind of idiot to follow them to a tee!

DT: Impulse taking to the center of the ring now, beckoning The First to come out and continue this match!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

DT: The fans here at the Ballpark in Arlington are stoutly behind the challenger! The World Champion of Empire Pro, however, is reluctant to come out of that corner! Is he afraid he can’t get this one done?!

DM: That, or he COULD be afraid of running smack dab into a trap! You have to remember, The First has studied Impulse more than anybody else in this industry! He knows all of his ins and outs... and he knows that with a single crucial mistake on his part, he may very well NOT get this done!

DT: The First turns his attention to the fans now, and he looks absolutely DISGUSTED by the sheer display of bias in these Dallas fans! Given what he’s done to be the World Champion of this federation, I can’t say I blame them! But now he looks even more determined to defeat this challenger, and eases his way out of the corner, ready to silence his critics!

MN: Nothing he can do can possibly silence ME, Dave!

DT: I wish somebody would silence YOU right now, Neely... but back to the action, The First circling the challenger now, looking for an opening... and he SHOOTS IN LOW, trying to hook those legs and take Impulse to the mat!

DM: Impulse is sprawled out, blocking that takedown attempt! The First won’t give up on his attempt to out-wrestle the Best in the World, but my gut tells me he’ll have a hard time managing that!

DT: The First trying to gain some ground by reaching in and hooking the leg, but Impulse has the waist hooked himself... and Impulse with a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX, brings the champ to the mat!

DM: Here’s a window of opportunity for the challenger, quickly transitioning over to the arm and giving it a HARD wrench to keep The First on his place on the mat, and quickly slips on a side armbar! The World Champion is yet again brought down, but he won’t be staying there for long!

DT: The First is already forcing himself to his feet, all but ignoring the pain in his arm applied by Impulse! And he gets a few free shots into the face of challenger with his free arm! Impulse REFUSING to release that hold... and The First GOUGES HIS EYES, finally freeing himself out of an act of desperation!

DM: Now Jones is giving him an earful as he rubs the feeling back into his arm, but the World Champion simply holds a deaf ear to his warnings!

MN: Well, it was either poke the bastard in the eyes, or watch his arm get dislocated from the socket! What else was he supposed to do?!

DT: The First is turning his attention back to his opponent now, quickly bouncing off the ropes behind Impulse’s field of vision as the challenger rises to his feet, still hampered by the pain in his eyes! The champ gets him from behind... FACE-BUSTER BULLDOG!!

MN: HA! That twerp LITERALLY didn’t see that coming!

DT: The First rolls Impulse over onto his back... presses over the chest, and hooks the leg for a pin!

ONE!

TWO!

Impulse kicks out!

DM: It’s going to take a lot more than that to keep the Best in the World down for three seconds! Few have EVER managed that feat!

MN: I heard some guy dressed up like the Kiss demon did it in New York years ago...

DM: I don’t know anything about that... what I do know is that based on his track record in Empire Pro, The First will have his work cut out for him tonight, even if he IS the World Champion of EPW!

DT: The First is resolute in punishing Impulse, bringing the young man back to his feet and trapping the head into a facelock... THERE’S A DDT, again putting Impulse’s face hard into the mat! The champ rolls him over and hooks the leg again!

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout again!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

DT: The fans are rallying behind the challenger once again, trying to give him the support he needs to fight back! The First, visibly annoyed by the cheers, once again gets Impulse back to his feet... and there’s the Irish Whip to the corner -- NO! Reversed by the challenger!

DM: Into the corner goes The First -- no wait, ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE -- Impulse in motion with a lariat, but he gets SWEPT TO THE MAT following the WHISPER IN THE WIND!!

Crowd: “BOOOOO!!!”

DT: The high-flying maneuver pays off for the World Champion, who seems to be gaining an advantage now several minutes into the match! He pops to his feet and pumps his arms into the air, TAUNTING these Dallas fans that hate him so!

MN: These are the same rubes that CHEERED for this punk so many years ago!

DM: The First is looking a bit more confident now, going over to pick Impulse back off the mat and -- IMPULSE WITH THE SMALL PACKAGE!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!!

ONE!

TWO!

THE FIRST KICKS OUT!

DM: Oh man, could you imagine if the master of the flash pin fell victim to THAT?! He’d never hear the end of it!

MN: I would personally rub it in his face every time I saw him backstage!

DT: I’d advise against that, Mike, unless you want the World Champion to bash your face in... provided he’s STILL the World Champion after tonight! The First, now, scrambles loose and gets back to his feet before Impulse, giving a HARD running kick to the challenger’s head to put him back on the mat, and laying in some boots for added effect!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!!”

DT: The champion’s emotions are definitely on display here tonight, although I don’t know whether to place it upon a stout determination to win, or simply sheer HATRED for his opponent!

MN: He’s gotta really have some issues if he’s jealous of IMPULSE, of all people! I mean, with Sean Stevens, it made sense, cause how can you NOT be jealous of that guy?!

DT: The First is keeping the momentum up, running off the ropes again... and HITS IMPULSE with a SNAPMARE as he was sitting up! Impulse’s head bounced right off the mat, but The First is back up in motion again... OFF THE ROPES... LOW DROPKICK into the face of the challenger!

DM: Clearly, The First has decided to just abandon the wrestling game, having learned that Impulse is just too crafty for him to compete with when taking it to the mat, and now he’s giving the Best in the World a flurry of quick and powerful strikes to keep him hurting and to keep him from gaining any bit of an advantage!

DT: The First is moving back to the ropes... and stepping out onto the apron this time, threateningly pointing down at Calico Rose, who watches with concern from her place at ringside! The First reels back... and DIVES BACK INTO THE RING with a SPRINGBOARD SENTON SPLASH, right across the RIBS of the champion!

DM: Impulse is hurting now... but he’s hurt before, and we’ve seen him take a LOT more punishment than this! It’s only a matter of time before he fights his way back!

DT: He’ll have to fight right now, as The First hooks BOTH legs and pins him to the mat once again!


ONE!


TWO!


Impulse got a shoulder up! Still plenty of fight left in him!

MN: As for myself, I gave up on this match before it even started...

DT: The First looks irritable, but not exactly surprised, as he rises to his feet once again, this time going to the near corner!

DM: Could be going for another high-flying move here... and if he lands enough of these, I don’t even think the Marathon Man will be able to recover!

MN: Weren’t you just saying he could fight his way through anything?

DT: The World Champion boosts himself to the top rope... and here he comes SAILING OFF WITH A MOONSAULT -- NOO, IMPULSE GOT THE LEGS UP, and The First came down CHEST FIRST ACROSS THE KNEES!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: The champ is rolling around on the mat in absolute agony, and now the challenger has his opportunity to turn things around!

DM: Great timing and awareness on the part of Impulse! He knew The First would be going for a deathblow coming off the top rope, and he reacted perfectly right when he needed to!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!”

DT: These fans would be blowing the roof off of this stadium if it had one! They are cheering LOUD for the Marathon Man, the Best in the World, the Number One Contender... IMPULSE!! And right now, Randall Knox is digging deep, trying to force himself back to his feet and make the most of this opportunity!

MN: If his entire career has built up to this very moment, then I couldn’t think of a better time to watching him BLOW IT!

DM: He’s in a race with The First right now, who has had the wind knocked out of him, but he’s found the ropes and is desperately trying to pull himself back onto his feet! Impulse, meanwhile, on his hands and knees, struggling to rise!

DT: The First is up... and so is Impulse... and here comes the World Champion, furiously charging off the ropes -- and he’s DROPPED to the mat with the drop toe hold! Impulse crosses over to his head, and locks it into his arm before The First can push himself to his feet!

DM: Impulse has to keep control as long as he can! If The First gets himself rolling again, there may be no stopping him!

DT: The First is back on his feet... looking to counter with a BACK SUPLEX -- but Impulse LANDS ON HIS FEET! Great agility on display, and Impulse follows up with a waistlock -- NO!! The champion bites back with a MULE KICK to the abdomen before he could get there!

DM: These men are competing on pure reflex at this point! I have no idea where they are getting the stamina to keep up this fast-paced action!

DT: The First goes back into the ropes... LEAPFROGS over an attempted back body drop... here’s the return, and he goes UPSTAIRS FOR A HURRICANRANA -- NO!! COUNTERED into a STANDING POWERBOMB by IMPULSE!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Impulse holds on for the pin!


ONE!


TWO!


The World Champion kicks out!

DM: But Impulse doesn’t let GO, lifting The First up again!

DT: ANOTHER POWERBOMB! And Impulse holds the champion into the prawn hold for another cover!


ONE!


TWO!


The First kicks out again!

MN: Nobody that skinny feels a powerbomb anyway... it’s like dropping an ant off of a building!

DT: Impulse keeps ahold of the legs... ROLLS FORWARD into the JACKNIFE, going for another pin!


ONE!


TWO!


THR -- ALMOST, but The First still got the shoulders up!

MN: Of course he did! He hasn’t even been kicked in the face yet!

DM: Impulse still has a hold of the legs, and it looks like he’s going for the crab! Can he get him turned over?!

DT: NO!! The First KICKS the challenger off of him before he could lock that hold in place! Something tells me he’s not about to let Impulse force him into tapping out! That would be the greatest insult to his legacy!

MN: As if being HIMSELF wasn’t already enough of an insult!

DT: The First rolls back to his feet as Impulse comes at him once again! The challenger goes under and behind, bringing The First into a rear waistlock! Lifts him off his FEET for the GERMAN SUPLEX -- NO!! The First HOOKS HIS LEGS under the arms and ROLLS FORWARD!! He comes out on top with the legs hooked and the challenger’s shoulders on the mat!



ONE!



TWO!



THR -- IMPULSE PUSHES FORWARD and THE FIRST IS ROLLED ONTO HIS BACK!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: He’s GOT HIM!



ONE!



TWO!



THR -- NO!! The champ keeps his reign in tact after a swift pin reversal from the challenger!

DM: Control of this match has drifted back and forth since it started, with neither man really pulling ahead of the other! How long can this kind of even-matched competitiveness hold up?

MN: As long as Cameron Cruise gets tired of watching them suck it up, and personally comes down here to clear these two losers out of his ring!

DM: Cruise will have to wait until both of these men settle the score with each other before he gets his shot at the EPW World Heavyweight Title. Right now, we’re fixated on this battle of wits and tenacity between two of the greatest talents to enter this sport to date!

DT: Both men quickly to their feet... Impulse BURST FORWARD -- but OH, he gets TRIPPED by the champion, and nearly GARROTES himself across the second rope!

DM: Impulse ran straight into a trap... a rare mistake made by the Best in the World, but also an understandable one, given the raw emotion and determination running through him right now! If he senses weakness in the champion for even a moment, he’ll be all over him!

DT: Impulse is stunned on the ropes, and The First quickly bounds back to his feet and comes up beside him... SPRINGBOARD off the second rope -- OH MY GOD, and he DRIVES THE KNEE right into the SPINE of the challenger!!

Crowd: “OOOOHHH!!”

MN: THAT looked like it hurt...

DT: Impulse is clutching his back, in absolute pain right now, but The First scuffs a boot across his face and leaves him stunned there on the second rope! Here goes the champion into the far set of ropes now, building some steam! On his way back... and OH MY GOD, he DIVES RIGHT THROUGH THE ROPES, grabbing Impulse by the back of the head and WHIPPING HIS NECK ACROSS THE ROPE like a guillotine!!

Crowd: *GASP!!*

DM: The World Champion is so fast and agile that Impulse can’t even get a moment to recover at this point! The First is hitting him right where it hurts, and it’s bound to hurt more for the Marathon Man, as we see him grabbing him by the ears and pulling his head out under the bottom rope!

DT: Pat Jones has begun the ten count on the champion, but The First pays him no mind as he just disrespectfully BURIES his forearm into the face of Impulse and runs it back and forth!

MN: Well, if a ten count is the only thing he has to be worried about, why not?

DT: Impulse pushes him away, and is coughing, gasping for air... but now The First is back on the apron! What’s he got planned this time?! Up to the second rope for another spring -- AND DROPS THE GUILLOTINE LEGDROP over Impulse’s EXPOSED HEAD!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!”

DM: The World Champion of Empire Pro is absolutely relentless right now, and he’s finally found himself in a position where he can control the pacing of this match! And now as he drags Impulse under the ropes and to the outside, it’s only going to get worse for the challenger!

DT: The First slips into the ring only briefly to reset the count, and meets Impulse, just as he is valiantly trying to push himself off the ringside floor and continue this effort in defeating the champion! The First has other ideas, however, taking the challenger by the arm... WHIP TO THE STEPS --

SFX: *CRASH!!*

DT: MY GOD, Impulse CONNECTS! The First threw him so hard into those steel steps, they came right off of the ringpost!

MN: It’s not hard to throw a midget far, Dave!

DM: Impulse is clutching his back... his face shows the pain he’s going through! But The First, with some sort of inhuman cruelty, still doesn’t look satisfied!

DT: He pulls Impulse back to his feet... lifts him off ground, and OH MY, drives him BACK-FIRST right into that now exposed steel ring post!

MN: I know it’s Impulse and all that, but did anybody else think The First lifted him up a little TOO easily? I think he might be juicing...

DM: The First looks like he’s working off pure adrenaline right now, and there is maddened conviction in the eyes of the champion!

DT: The First doesn’t wait even a second, getting Impulse to his feet again... turning him to the barricade now as he BURIES his head into the challenger’s gut and BULLS HIM FORWARD like a BATTERING RAM -- and MY GOD, Impulse gets driven RIGHT INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE!!

DM: This kind of environment outside the ring is just a bigger and more dangerous playground for a daredevil like The First, and that makes THREE successive strikes to the challenger’s back, on top of that springboard knee drop that was delivered only moments before this fight spilled to the outside!

DT: How much more punishment can the spine of Impulse take, and how is that going to affect his performance as this match wears on, Dean?

DM: It’s hard to say at this point, but for a man of Impulse’s size, his back strength is absolutely crucial!

MN: That’s right! After all, if his back is blown, then he can’t do that kip up and superkick routine he ripped off of my man Sean Stevens!

DT: The First takes a moment to yell incoherently to a female fan in the front row sporting an old-school Impulse mask, and she’s giving him the same thumbs down gesture as everybody else in this ballpark! But there’s no time to waste on jawing with his haters, leaving Impulse to recover on the ringside floor as he rolls back into the ring as Jones reaches the count of five!

MN: Ah yes, the ol’ “break his back and win by count out” trick! A favorite of mine!

DM: I don’t think that’s The First’s intentions here tonight! He has no interest in winning this the easy way, which is why right now he’s going directly to the corner, to pull himself to the top rope!

DT: Oh man, what does he have on his dastardly mind now?! Impulse pulling himself back to his feet, goaded on by the fans in front row of seats who chant his name and cheer him on! But the First is perched up on that top rope like a vulture ready to strike!

DM: Impulse doesn’t know what’s about to hit him!

MN: Oh, I have a feeling I’m going to ENJOY this!

DT: Impulse almost up... and The First comes DIVING OFF... JEEEEZUS CHRIST, WHAT A MISSILE DROPKICK, RIGHT TO THE BACK!! IMPULSE NEARLY GETS KICKED OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE FIRST ROW!!

DM: The World Champion had PERFECT precision on that strike! He nailed Impulse right in that sore spot on the back, and he hit him HARD! Not only is he debilitating his opponent, but he could also be softening him up for a well-time SOUL BREAKER!

DT: That’s very possible, Dean... and right now, The First just TORE a bright green sign out of some poor kid’s hand! “THE FIRST is THE WORST!” it reads... and The First just TEARS IT IN HALF in a fit of anger!

Crowd: “FIRST-IS-WORST!! FIRST-IS-WORST!! FIRST-IS-WORST!!

MN: While I agree with that kid, I can fully understand WHY the champ knew he needed to get that slander off the cameras as fast as possible!

DM: Smells like insecurity, if you ask me!

DT: Now the World Champion is setting Impulse up for something else, bringing him around to our side of the ring, where Calico Rose is standing! Rosie’s trying to cheer her man on, but The First points at her and draws a thumb across the throat, sending a direct message to the Marathon Man’s leading lady!

MN: I swear, that girl just LOOKS for ways to get hurt!

DT: Calico Rose clears over to the other side of the ring, as The First reels Impulse right over here to our commentary table! Heads up guys!

SFX: *BUMP!*

DT: And Impulse just gets TOSSED into our table, with his back connecting with the corner!

DM: We’re getting an up-close-and-personal view of this match now!

MN: A bit TOO close, if you ask me! These guys are caked in so much sweat, it smells like an OUTHOUSE right now!

DT: Even that would be a welcome bouquet compared the cloud of musk cologne that forever surrounds you, Neely... The First pushes the challenger’s arms aside, exposed that chest... and LIGHTS HIM up with another knife-edge chop!

SFX: *SMACK!!*

MN: WOOOOOOO!!

DT: The First with ANOTHER chop!

SFX: *SMACK!!*

MN: WOOOOOOO!!

DT: AND ANOTHER!!

SFX: *SMACK!!*

MN: WOOOOOOO!!

DM: I think you’re annoying the champion, based on that look he just gave you, Neels!

MN: I honestly hope I am!

DT: Impulse is lying stunned against our commentary table now, as The First quickly slides back into the ring, stopping Pat Jones’ count at seven! He’s back on his feet, and runs back into the ropes to build some speed!

DM: Look out, guys! This ain’t gonna be pretty!

DT: The First charging to the ropes... LEAPS RIGHT OVER THEM -- WAIT, IMPULSE DASHES TO THE SIDE!! LOOK OUT!!

Crowd: *OMFG!!*

SFX: *BUMP!!*

MN: OH SHI--!!

SFX: *STATIC!*

[The feed briefly cuts out as The First, rather than connecting his diving plancha on Impulse as intended, instead lands on the commentary table after the Marathon Man jumps to the side. Rather than breaking through the table, The First BOUNCES, rolling straight into Mike Neely and taking the color commentator to the ringside floor. Dave Thomas and “The Showstealer” Dean Matthews, who were able to get up and get out of the way in time, stand to the side of the scene of carnage, still wearing their functioning headsets, their mouths hanging agape.]

Crowd: “HO-LY CRAP!! HO-LY CRAP!! HO-LY CRAP!! HO-LY CRAP!! HO-LY CRAP!!”

DT: OH MY GOD!! Mike, are you okay?!

DM: NEELS??

DT: Ladies and gentlemen... I don’t know quite how to describe what just happened, but our fellow commentator, Mike Neely, was just inadvertently TAKEN OUT by the World Champion, The First, who was looking to take out the challenger with a devastating high-risk maneuver from the ring to the outside!

DM: We should consider ourselves lucky that the table didn’t break! Mr. Ryan must have put some money into this one to ensure that didn’t happen!

DT: Looks like the damage is minimal to our table, but I can’t say the same for Mike! As for the competitors, Impulse is being tended to by Calico Rose, trying to rally himself, as The First, from his place on top of Mike, is coming to, his face full of surprise and anger as he rolls himself off of our associate!

DM: Here, Dave, we should help him up...

DT: Ugh... I suppose you’re right... here, Mike. Are you okay? Put your headset back on!

MN: --AH!! AAHH!! AUGH!! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE AM I!?

DM: Have a seat, Neels... relax! It’s over now!

MN: THAT PURPLE PUNK!! I’M GOING TO SUE THE PAINT OFF HIS FACE!!

DT: Settle down, Neels, you’re fine... but the same probably can’t be said about these two athletes, going to WAR here tonight with the greatest prize in professional wrestling at stake! The First, with the help of the barricade, is back up to his feet, looking a little worse for wear after his costly mistake, and now he’s searching for his opponent! Impulse, meanwhile, after assuring Rosie that he’s good to continue, finds the strength to pull himself back into the ring!

DM: Even through all this, he keeps fighting on!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

DT: Impulse is still holding his back and baring his teeth... but at least he’s gotten himself back in the ring, where the champion won’t have so many different environmental weapons to damage him further!

DM: The First, meanwhile, looks nearly INSANE with rage right now, as he pushes down the pain he’s feeling himself and staggers back to the ring, rolling under the ropes after the challenger!

DT: Impulse is to his feet first... greets The First with a front facelock... VERTICLE SUPLEX -- and a BEAUTIFUL float-over into a lateral press, hooking the leg!



ONE!



TWO!



NO!! The First got his shoulder up!


DM: And Impulse gets him right up! It’s time for the champion to feel what it’s like to be dominated now!

DT: Impulse hooks him from the side... SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP puts the champ to the mat! And Impulse covers him again!



ONE!



TWO!



THR -- NO!! The First won’t stay down!

DM: But these fans are loving everything they’re seeing right now!

MN: I know I’M ENJOYING IT!! And I hope that punk is learning just what happens to idiots who try all that high-flying willy-nilly crap without any regards for paid employees of this company!

DT: Once again, Mike, you’re fine... get over it! Impulse, meanwhile, not giving up and not losing his patience, brings The First back to his feet and right into a front-facelock... he hooks the leg... tries to get him up but CAN’T!

DM: Whatever he tried right there, it pulled something in his back the wrong way! I’m not sure he do much heavy-lifting considering the punishment his spine has taken!

DT: Nevertheless, Impulse draws The First in again... he just won’t give up! He’s got the leg hooked... tries to LIFT... AND HE”S GOT HIM!! FISHERMAN SUPLEX with a BRIDGED PIN!!



ONE!!



TWO!!



THREE -- NO!! The World Champion kicked out!

DM: And what price did Impulse have to pay, over-exerting himself in that way for a pinfall that didn’t pay off? He could have done more damage to his back!

MN: There’s a beautiful sense of irony in that!

DT: The Marathon Man is still favoring that spot in his lower back! I’m seriously beginning to wonder if The First didn’t do something really bad, like pop a disc out of place!

DM: I’ve seen it happen before, Dave... and back injuries are hard to get through, and sometimes even harder to WATCH!

DT: Nevertheless, with the fans rallying at his back, with Calico Rose giving all of her love and support from her place at ringside, Impulse is getting himself back onto his feet, determined to overcome the World Champion of Empire Pro!

DM: It’s a seemingly impossible task, because neither of these men seem willing to back down!

DT: Something’s got to give at some point... Impulse back on his feet, fighting back the agony, and he brings The First up as well! Scooping him up... and the Best in the World GROANS in PAIN as he holds The First upside down over the mat!

DM: NAILS HIM with the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!! But it took everything he had to pull that off!

DT: Let’s hope it does! Impulse dragging himself over The First’s chest, hooking BOTH LEGS for the WIN!



ONE!!



TWO!!




THREE -- NO!! THE FIRST KICKED OUT!!

MN: Oh geez, it NEVER ENDS, does it!?

DM: Impulse is shaking his head, disappointed! He really thought he put the nail in the coffin with that one, but despite the personal sacrifice he made, The First stubbornly continues to get his shoulders up every time he gets pinned!

DT: Impulse knows he has to finish this match before he does any more damage to his back! Now he’s clapping his hands, getting the fans energized, and he’s putting some distance between himself and the champion, waiting for him to rise! You know what’s coming NEXT, right?!

DM: The SUDDEN IMPACT is what’s coming, Dave!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

DT: The First on his hands and knees, trying to push himself back up... and Impulse circles around to his blind side! The last thing he wants is for the World Champion to see this coming!

MN: Maybe he won’t see it, but if these fans don’t shut up, he’ll definitely HEAR it coming!

DT: The First is up to a knee... ALMOST THERE... and Impulse is poised to strike, crouching low, gritting his teeth, mere MOMENTS AWAY from becoming a two-time World Heavyweight Champion! The First stands up... THIS IS IT... HE TURNS AROUND -- IMPULSE WITH THE SUDDEN IMPACT --

DM: DUCKED!!!

Crowd: *GASP!!*

DT: HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT COMING AFTER ALL!! The First grabbing Impulse from behind... GRABS HIS SHOULDERS -- SOULBREAKER -- WAIT, NO!!

DM: Impulse reached up at the last second and removes the champ’s hands, and The First put himself to the mat! Man, he was just a SECOND AWAY from losing this match!

DT: Both men are doing whatever they can do avoid a direct deathblow... Impulse turns around now as The First comes to his feet! The First with a kick to the gut -- leg is CAUGHT by Impulse -- AND THE ENZIGURI!!

SFX: *SMACK!!*

Crowd: “OOOOooohhhh...”

DT: MY GOD, DID YOU HEAR THAT?! You only hear a CRACK like that in this ballpark when a bat hits the ball!

MN: Sounded like The First just hit a HOME RUN!!

DT: Impulse DROPS TO HIS KNEES, his eyes fluttering! The First is quickly back up... runnning off the ROPES -- GOOD GOD, WHAT A LEG LARIAT!! HE NEARLY TOOK THE HEAD OFF OF IMPULSE!!

DM: That’s GOTTA be it!! Impulse got knocked out COLD!!

DT: The First crosses over... HOOKS THE LEGS...



ONE!!



TWO!!




THREE -- NO, IMPULSE GOT A SHOULDER UP!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: Would one of these fools just STAY DOWN already?!

DT: Unfortunately for you, Mike, this epic battle continues!

DM: The First is back on his feet, jawing to Pat Jones about the count, but it seemed pretty evenly paced to me!

DT: I’ll agree with you on that, Dean! Impulse is now trying to recover, but The First gets him to his feet before he can make a move! There’s a facelock... HE LIFTS HIM UP, and HOLDS HIM THERE... and DOWN COMES THE CHALLENGER into a LIGER BOMB!!

DM: THAT’S THE GREEN RIVER JUSTICE!!

DT: The First, giving a nod to his old rival, Layne Winters, hooks the legs for ANOTHER PIN!



ONE!!



TWO!!




THREE -- HE KICKS OUT AGAIN!! There is just NO GIVING UP for the MARATHON MAN!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: And the champ is FURIOUS!!

DT: The First is quickly back on his feet, and he quickly gets Impulse up as well... and the champion turns him around, standing back to back -- AND DROPS HIS HEAD OVER THE SHOULDER!! MY GOD, THAT WAS THE CHAOS BREAKER!! THAT WAS THE FINISHING MOVE OF THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION, ANARKY!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOO!!!”

DM: One that The First knows all too well, and he’s passing the curse on to the challenger tonight! But... The First gets back to his feet! No cover?!

DT: Doesn’t look like he’s ready for that yet! The First has other ambitions, going to the corner... and climbing his way up to the top rope!

DM: The last high-flying risk made by the World Champion had DEVASTATING results!

MN: Believe me, I REMEMBER!!

DT: The First is ON THE TOP ROPE... Impulse, UNMOVING... and The FIRST DIVES OFF...



...AND HE CUTS THE THREAD ON IMPULSE!! MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE NAILED IT!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

DM: I thought FOR CERTAIN that Impulse was going to roll out of the way!

MN: The Marathon Man just hit the WALL, Dean-O!

DT: If that doesn’t finish him off, I don’t know what will! The First crawls over to him now... MAKES THE COVER!!



ONE!!!




TWO!!!





THREE --

NO!! IMPULSE KICKS OUT!! HE KICKS OUT!!

Crowd: *MEGA-POP!!!*

MN: HOW IN THE HELL DID HE DO THAT?! That freak nearly SQUASHED HIS TINY HEAD like a ROTTEN MELON!!

DT: The First absolute CANNOT BELIEVE it, and I have to admit I’m in disbelief myself, but that’s exactly what happened! At the last possible second, the Best in the World kicked out with everything he had left in the tank! He’s hanging on by a thread, but he’s still hanging on!

DM: But for how much longer?!

DT: The First is all up in Pat Jones’ face, cornering the official and demanding to know what’s wrong with him! There’s no need for that, Champ... you can’t blame the referee for your own mistake, underestimating the TENACITY of the undisputed BEST in the WORLD!

MN: Uh, I think I could dispute that...

DM: The World Champion is livid, but he’s just wasting time right now! If he’s going to finish this match, he has to finish it NOW!!

DT: The First, finally finished berating our senior official, turns back to finish the job as --

IMPULSE KIPS UP TO HIS FEET!!!

Crowd: *ULTRA-POP!!!*

DT: THE WORLD CHAMPION JUST FROZE IN PLACE AND ALL THE COLOR LEFT HIS FACE!! HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! HELL, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT... BUT I’M SEEING IT!! IMPULSE JUST LEAPT BACK ONTO HIS FEET!!

DM: The Marathon Man’s eyes are STORM of FURY, GRIT, and DETERMINATION right now! Whatever pain he’s feeling is SECONDARY to the task before him! And now The First wears an expression of absolute DOOM!

DT: And dread melts into FURY on the face of the World Champion, CHARGING AT IMPULSE with the LARIAT --

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: IMPULSE DUCKS!! The First turns around... and HERE’S IMPULSE WITH THE SUDDEN IMPACT --

Crowd: *GASP!!*

DT: NO, THE FIRST DUCKS!! He grabs Impulse from behind... LATCHES ON FOR THE SOULBREAKER -- AND IMPULSE BENDS FORWARD, throwing the champion off his back at to the mat!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Impulse from behind... SLAPS ON A REAR NAKED CHOKE!! HE’S GOING TO TAP HIM OUT!!

DM: The First, forcing himself back to his feet... BREAKS OUT OF IT by dropping to the mat and connecting Impulse’s jaw with the top of his head!

DT: Back and forth they go, but nobody gains an edge! Impulse recoils from the counter, while The First gets to his feet! Is he choking?!

MN: He’s not choking... HE’S GETTING READY TO SPEW!!

DT: OH NO, HERE COMES IMPULSE, AND HE DOESN’T SEE IT COMING -- POISON MIST --

Crowd: *MEGA-POP!!!*

DT: NOOOOO, SUDDEN IMPACT!!! MY GOD, IMPULSE JUST SUPERKICKED THE GREEN POISON MIST RIGHT OUT OF THE FIRST’S MOUTH AND KNOCKED HIM CLEAR ACROSS THE RING!! THAT WAS PERFECT TIMING!!

DM: But TERRIBLE positioning! Impulse hit him so hard, that The First nearly rolled out of the ring! Now he’s caught on the apron, held on the canvas only by his arm hooked on the bottom rope! But his eyes are fluttering... he’s seeing STARS!!

DT: Impulse nearly COLLAPSES from the rush of adrenaline! EVERYTHING HE HAD went into that, and now he has to pull the champion clear of the ropes! HURRY!!

Crowd: “IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!! IM-PULSE!!”

DT: Impulse CRAWLING over to The First, dragging with what little strength he has left! He’s got The First by the leg, but he hardly has enough left to pull him out of the ropes! He’s tugging away, but oblivious to the arm caught in the ropes!

MN: Come on, you idiot! MOVE!!

DT: NOW he sees it, and clears the arm! Impulse, pulling with ALL HE’S GOT, trying to get The First to the center of the ring! Just a few more feet... and here he goes, COLLAPSING over the chest of the champion, FOR THE WIN!!




ONE!!!





TWO!!!






TTTHHHHRRRREEEEE --

KICKOUT!!

Crowd: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

DM: That is absolutely SOUL CRUSHING!! Impulse HAD HIM!! He was only a COUNT AWAY from winning the World Title!

MN: Freaking loser! If that were Trip in his shoes, this match would have been over LONG AGO!

DT: Impulse struggling to get to his feet, looking around, determining his next option... now he looks into the crowd... and forms the LETTER ECKS with his ARMS!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: COULD IT BE?! Is the Marathon Man going to finish this off with the X-TERMINATOR!?

DM: Do you think he still has enough strength in his back to even lift The First into position?!

DT: I have no idea, Dean, but at this point, it’s GO BIG, or GO HOME! Impulse is going all the way to walk away with the title over his shoulder! He’s got The First up... he sets his head UNDER THE ARM... HE TRIES TO LIFT...

…

...and he... DROPS HIM?!

Crowd: “HUH?!”

DM: WHAT?!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!!”

DT: WAIT, WHAT’S HAPPENING OUTSIDE THE RING!! CALICO ROSE JUST GOT TAKEN OUT BY A FAN!!

MN: Oh, for crying out loud... I CALLED IT!! Now where the hell is security?!

DM: Now that fan is stomping away at Rose, VICIOUSLY! Isn’t that the girl in the Impulse mask?! WHAT IS SHE DOING?! Does she just want Impulse all to HERSELF or something?!

MN: Come on, ladies, you should be fighting over ME!

DT: Impulse dropped the champ as soon as he noticed something was amiss, and now he’s stuck between finishing the match or helping his woman!

DM: Hold up, Dave, the fan is taking off the mask...

MN: Is it DIS?!

Crowd: “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

DT: Even worse! IT’S MUSE!! SHE’S BACK!! THE FIRST’S WIFE IS BACK AFTER TIME OUT ON MATERNITY LEAVE!!

DM: Look at the SICK SMILE on her face, as she locks eyes with Impulse, standing frozen in the ring!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: HOLD ON, WE’VE GOT REINFORCEMENTS COMING!! ELI FLAIR AND IVY ARE RUNNING DOWN THE AISLE!!!!

MN: FIRST BETTER HURRY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE!!...... ERRR….I MEAN, OH THANK GOD!!

DM: Give me a break, Mike...

MN: WHAT??

DT: Nevermind that now... they’re making the long trip to the ring, but at least Impulse knows he can turn his attention back to The First now! But... WHERE IS THE FIRST?!

DM: SNEAKING UP BEHIND HIM!!

DT: WAIT -- THE FIRST HAS HIM BY THE SHOULDERS --

SSSSOOOOOOOOUUUUUUULLLLBREAKER!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

DT: MY GOD, THE WORLD CHAMPION BURIED BOTH KNEES INTO THE SPINE OF IMPULSE!!

DM: HE HAD TO HAVE BROKEN HIS BACK!!

DT: Impulse DROPS TO HIS KNEES in agony, and holds himself up on shaky arms, using EVERY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH he never thought he’d have to scrape up from the bottom of the tank just to prevent himself from falling to that mat... but The First hooks him from the side -- AND TURNS HIM OVER INTO THE OKLAHOMA ROOOOOLLL!!!!





ONE!!!







TWO!!!









TTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

SFX: *DING!-DING!-DING!-DING!-DING!-DING!-DING!”

Crowd: “BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday” by the Birthday Massacre. The First releases the defeated Impulse and slips out of the ring faster than one can blink, ripping the EPW World Title from the hands of the timekeeper before he can deliver it to the official.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...

...and STILL the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION of EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING...

THEEEEE....FFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRSSSSSTTTT!!!!!!

SFX: *KA-BOOM!! KA-BOOM!!*

[Celebratory fireworks fill the sky, but there is no celebration for the World Champion, who takes his wife by the hand and leads her from the ring just as reinforcements arrive to help Calico Rose. With ringside fans pelting the two of them with garbage, The First finds a gap in the front row, and the two slip over the barricade, making a hasty escape through the crowd with both The First and security guards keep their near-rioting mass from ripping them to pieces.]

DT: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! THAT SCOUNDREL!! THAT FIEND!! YET AGAIN, HE’S CHEATED HIS WAY INTO KEEPING THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!

MN: Are you honestly SURPRISED, Dave? This is THE FIRST we’re talking about! He’s ALWAYS been a weak, pathetic, and insecure ass-tard! He will ALWAYS cheat to keep that belt around his waist!

DM: It’s a sad reality, unfortunately! The First IS a talented athlete, and I almost wonder if he could have won this legit... but he’d rather come into a title defense with an ace up his sleeve, and walk away cheater with a title, rather than walk out with a loss and nothing but his pride!

DT: Brian Nadalny knows NOTHING about pride! And I assure you, we haven’t seen the last of Impulse!

MN: You sure about that, Dave? Anarky got screwed, and never got his rematch. Cameron Cruise screwed, and was forced to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get a another shot. This was Randall Knox’s one chance to get the job done, and not surprisingly, HE GOT SCREWED, just like the rest! Knowing The First, he’ll just move on and pretend none of this ever happened, never even giving Impulse a second thought!

[The camera follows First and Muse as they make their way up through the crowd. They come to a landing near an exit to the concourse and stop, turning around and looking back to the ring. First smirks as he looks down toward where Eli Flair, Poison Ivy and now Impulse are kneeling near Rose, with EMTs tending to her at ringside. The shot cuts to a closeup of Impulse, who now turns and gives a disgusted sneer toward where The First stands. The shot cuts back to a now-widely-grinning First when suddenly...

DARKNESS.

The lights go out and mild chaos travels like a wave through the arena.

MN: My God.... what the hell...

DT: We seem to be having some power issues here.... uhh.... not sure what's going on really...

MN: Power issues my ass!! Everyone knows when the lights go out at the end of the show, some shit's about to go down!

DM: Now, it could be nothing. Maybe a breaker popped or something...

[Suddenly, nearly twenty full seconds after the lights go out, the come back on.]

MN: JESUS!! I TOLD YOU!! DIDN'T I TELL YOU!?!

DM: Ok yeah, shit's going down.

[Standing.... everywhere... are dozens.... maybe close to a hundred... men in plain black t-shirts and jeans.... in the aisles, in the ring, on the entrance ramp....a group near Flair, Ivy, Impulse and Rose..... three or four within INCHES of Rose and First, who jumps back, startled, and stumbled into another...

Every single one... expressionless.... staring.... making no move.... watching....

STATIC CRACKLES ON THE EMPIRETRON.

A voice comes through, distorted...]

V/O: Everyone thought they were rid of me.....

Everyone thought it was over....

I'm only just getting started....

[The static crackles again and, on the screen, we see the top of someone's head, hair only....

The audio clears and the man raises so his face is clearly seen.

A gasp of shock goes through the crowd.

STALKER]

STALKER: Hey First....

[Smirk.]

MISS ME?

[Stalker chuckles and the static takes back over. First has a look of shock on his face as his eyes dart from the screen to the many strange people around him..... THEN...

DARKNESS.]

MN: Oh God, not again...

DT: Okay, this time I'm reasonably sure there's not a power outage.

MN: I'm reasonably sure I'm about to crap myself.

DM: I'm reasonably sure I'm scooting my chair over....

[The lights come back up... and all of the men around the arena are now gone.]

DM: That was absolutely ridiculous...

DT: One thing I know I did not expect tonight was to see Stalker in the building. We all know he still holds a banked shot at the EPW World Championship, but I honestly thought he was gone for good.

DM: Well he certainly has developed a flair for the theatrical.

DT: Well, regardless, Impulse fought very valiantly here tonight! This was a match I’m sure NONE OF US will soon forget! I just wish it didn’t come with such a tainted ending! However this turns out, though... we are OUT OF TIME for UNLEASHED, ladies and gentlemen! We had a lot of action here in the Ballpark at Arlington, here in Dallas... we saw new champions crowned, and current champions extend their reign! We’ll see you again through the fall-out at Aggression! For Mike Neely and “The Showstealer” Dean Matthews... I’m Dave Thomas, and we hope you have a good night!