UNIFIED FINAL FOUR: Dan Ryan vs. Troy Windham vs. Vince Jacobs vs. Vacant

[Steve]

Individual FINAL FOUR matchups will be announced at ANNIVERSARY.

With two matches (potentially) in one night, we're asking you to roleplay against the FINAL FOUR as a whole. Quality determines who advances, and wins the UNIFIED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

"You know, it probably wasn't necessary to toss him from the ring."

Dan Ryan rolled his eyes and turned away from Lindsay Troy, still in ring gear from her night in fWo and the initiator of this conversation about High Flyer. Ryan leaned back, folding his arms across his chest.

"Ya know, I came to offer moral support - not to be nagged ad nauseum over Fly-boy. Shouldn't you be saving up your nag points for Joey anyway?"

"Joey's busy tonight..." Troy smiled. "All my nagging are belong to you."

"He took me to a draw the first time. I was just making sure there was no doubt this time. Nothing more than that really."

Troy shrugged. "I suppose."

"Besides, Lindz - since when did you go all softy on me? Your time in fWo has dulled your sense to the real world I think. I half expect you to tell me about how your childhood in Hell's Kitchen has affected your psyche along with the psycho-mechanics of your neighborhood and it's hoodlum element. I prefer driving people through tables. Much simpler."

"Hell's Kitchen?" Troy laughed lightly. "Nice ring to it, but no. Maybe I'm growing up a bit is all. Or maybe I save my psychotic rages for important matches."

"Who said anything about a psychotic rage? Besides, what's more important than the Unified World Title anyway?"

Troy smiled. "So you've decided it's important to you, have you?"

"If I'm in it, I might as well be in it to win it. No sense in wasting my time."

"Makes sense. I've always spoken out against time wasting." She smiled again.

"So you have." Ryan smiled and stood. "Well we have a plane to catch. Gonna meet up with Alaina when we land in Greensboro. Feel like tagging along?"

"Three's a crowd my good man. I think I'll make other arrangements."

Ryan shrugged. "Suit yourself." Troy and Ryan rose in unison, heading for the door. "I hope you won't mind if I treat Vince Jacobs the same as I did Flyer."

"If you face him in the semis, you mean. Could be Windham or this Vacant character."

"Well.." Ryan sighed. "One can only hope."

~~~~~~~~~~~

FADE IN..

Dan Ryan sits snugly fit into a first class seat - Flight 1204 to Greensboro. The seats around him are empty, purchased to give some privacy for the flight over. Lindsay Troy, though unseen is similarly seated several rows back - asleep.

Ryan: "Here we are, on the way to Greensboro."

"We have Troy, we have Mr. Vacant - but my favorite of them all of course, is one Mr. Vince Jacobs."

"Yeah Vince, you got it pretty much dead on the money with your comments on Primetime. You definitely run your mouth too much for someone who doesn't have the credentials to back them up."

"Without a doubt, you must like to hear yourself speak because no one else does despite what the piped in crowd noise would fool the TV audience into believing."

"You run your 'SVJ is GOD' smack so persistently that some of the morons watching you might start to buy the hype. But there's one little problem with you ever trying to get that little nugget past me."

"I know you."

"You say you know me from GXW."

"Nah man, you might wanna clear that up a little more thoroughly."

"I got your unemployed ass hired on to GXW and was summarily burned for it. You slacked off horrifically in GXW and it's so very convenient that you limped your ass out of the fed, forced to be the scapegoat for DreamMaker because your partner didn't have the talent he had so brazenly advertised."

"Unfortunately, you weren't much better were you?"

"You whined and whined about not having time in your busy schedule to make your bookings while thoroughly getting your ass handed to you when you did show up."

"So back you went to the fWo, a place where you're more comfortable. Truth be told, I might feel more comfortable with deciding whether or not I win my matches myself, too."

"Don't feel comfortable with that thinly veiled insult, Vince?"

"So what?"

"When you run your mouth here, you get exactly one chance to back your s**t up."

"You get one chance, and in your case you have to back it up against me."

"I don't know if you noticed, but I won't be available for any phone calls to discuss who should win this one. I say right up front that I should win this one, and to hell with you and your opinion."

"If I have to break you in half and send you to a ninety days stint on Worker's Compensation benefits, I will. But one way or another you're gonna have to earn the right to run your mouth the way you do."

"On the other hand, Troy Windham...."

Ryan smiles...

"Ya know Troy, the part of me that doesn't need to give Vince Jacobs the back of my hand almost wants it to be you."

"Granted, it could be you in the finals - but I imagine that will entirely depend on when 'Vacant' decides to unveil himself to the whole world and when it might make the most impact. I dare say the masked man concept wasn't dropped into this tournament for no reason - and with a win over Hornet no less."

"But should it be you, Troy - it will be a match that a lot of people have wanted to see for a long time."

"As far as I can remember, we've only been in the ring together one time that was of any consequence and it wasn't a one on one contest."

"If my memory fails me, it must not have been very memorable."

"But this time, whether it be in the semifinals or the finals - you can believe that it'll be remembered, by you, by the fans, by everyone who watched the show anywhere in the world...."

"And as whatever dramatic soap operatic moment unfolds around us - and let's face it, what are the chance that something dramatic won't happen in the finals? - I'll be able to see up close and personal what the Epitome has to offer."

"I do love a challenge, Troy. To test yourself against the best and brightest in the business..."

"How else can a man succeed? How else to know where you stand?"

"Only one way to find out..."

Smile...

FADE OUT...

 

[DBrunkGXW]

bump it up

 

[ErikKelly]

Black screen.

A white line moves from left to right, suddenly moving.

Our old friend, the Voice of Vacant, is set to cut his usual cryptic promo. And per his standard, all we can see is the line moving in voice modulation.

VACANT:

This is what stands between me and the finish line? THIS is what you have to offer me? These three are all that remains?

laughter

Sweet Holy Lord. Thomas, save yourself and those southern-fried rubes some trouble, and just give me the belt. Oh, sure, it'll be the final nail in the coffin, but all things must end. You should end it on a high note, with me burning the belt and doing the Big Reveal no one's even come within the time zone of guessing. Maybe that will get you some ratings? Keep the concession stand workers' checks from bouncing? HMM?

Look at your other options. Look at them, Stephen.

Never have I seen such a horizontal ladder of mediocrity in my life.

Vince Jacobs Dan Ryan Troy Windham. It's like trying to differentiate between Steven Segal movies.

Oh, all of them were the elite.

But check the calendar, people--2005. Not 1999. Not 1994. 2005.

The Superstar, the Ego Buster, the Troy Diggity Dog whatever nickname I can ripoff from the Rock this week before I check back into rehab--those are the competition.

This makes me the youngest by a good set a years.

It keeps me the fastest, as I've not needed to go under the knife for four years.

It keeps me the smartest, but then again that's nothing new.

And yet, I still get overlooked. I could drop my name and turn some heads--but I'm only going to do that when it benefits me the most.

I mean, the Wiggerdor thought I was just some chump in a mask. And now he's on the side of a milk carton wishing for better days. No shame in losing, kid. You're a wrestler. I'm making wrestling history.

Paul, I can assure you that the distractions were not caused by me. I just knew enough to take advantage of the opportunity they presented me. Besides, if the match had gone on another 10 minutes--what are the odds you would've gotten stronger? Faster? Exactly. So you and Mr. Flair stake your claims in the retirement match to end retirement matches. Have fun. Keep your knees loose.

But for Windham...Jacobs...Ryan...it makes me no difference. Men who are bigger than me in height and dwarved by me in the talent department usually find their place looking up at the lights wondering how the hell that little bullet drove itself through their brains.

And none of you has what it takes to reverse years of history on that score.

For when Anniversary is done, and I hold that title up, it will be a glorious funeral. I will take my pictures, and smile underneath my mask. Then, I will set fire to it and watch it burn into oblivion. My mask will come off, and as everyone gasps in shock and cries, this foul experiment known as the CSWA will finally have been brought to an end.

If you haven't bought tickets, do so now. Get your Sunday best on.

It's going to be the first Anniversary--of the CSWA's death.

The line stops, distilling to a dot.

Distilling to black screen.

Fade.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN....

Dan Ryan leaning back on the front edge of a wooden desk. Behind a large plaque on the wall - the framed charter of Empire Pro Wrestling.

Ryan folds his arms and looks deadpan into the camera, eyebrows down a bit - not quite anger, a step from annoyance.

Ryan: "So that's your whole gimmick, is it?"

"Not that it wasn't obvious before, but apparently your entire gimmick is..."

"..that you're full of s**t."

"Tell me, Mister...Vacant...."

"Does your name designate the expression on your face, the lack of aesthetic value to your promos, or the depth of your gimmick?"

"For me, I call complete and total bulls**t."

"You want a guess on who you are? Chances are that if your name turns heads as much as you claim it does, I'll be thoroughly disappointed."

"And why?"

"Because I don't see depth of character. I don't see someone who I just can't wait to see without his mask on."

"I see the same thing I've seen time and time and time again."

"How appropo that you should be the latest in a long line of those ready to bring about the destruction of the CSWA, so long as you win the UNIFIED World Title in the process."

"What is it about the last few years that has bred the inept mindgames of people who think that destroying a company goes hand in hand with winning their World Title?"

"Seems you might have more success saying to hell with this sort of competition and do something a little more creative."

"Ohhh....but I know."

"You are creative. You are clever, aren't you?"

"Aren't I just the simpleton, too?"

"You're gonna burn the title belt are you?"

"This is where I hold my fist up like Scarlett O'Hara and swear that it will not happen 'with God as my witness!!!'"

"Why wouldn't Thomas just dump your ass off the roster and have a new belt made?"

"Sorry...it must not be PC to cut holes in your scheme, but to me your grand plan sounds a little bit retarded."

"I don't think you're that much younger than me, if you are at all. And I know that contrary to the other two bumpkins involved in these semifinals, I'm in my prime."

"You?"

"You probably have a name and track record that will cause each and every CSWA and wrestling fanboy drop their pants, jerk one for about ten minutes, then run out and sell the Limited Edition #1 Degadeth Action Figures so they can afford the ticket to come see you perform."

"Me? Screw it. I'm not interested in your plots, no matter how ill-conceived."

"I think you're as played out as every other take-over attempt I've had to endure throughout my life, and I think that placing yourself front and center in your scheme makes you about as dim as I'd expect Cameron Cruise to be, not someone who's supposed to make me cream my pants in terror."

"I could snap you like a twig if I'm made to care enough, and you know it. I could also make two calls and discover exactly who you are, or not - depending on how much your cause moves me."

"But just like Vincent, you get one shot to back up your big mouth."

"I hope for your sake that there's more extracurricular activity if you want more than a snowball's chance in hell of achieving it."

"There's absolutely nothing cryptic about you...VACANT...more to the point, you're generic, basic and uninteresting in the extreme."

"The only thing I'm dwarved by you in is the ability to bore people without even showing your face."

"And that to me....is your greatest accomplishment."

FADE OUT....

 

[Starstruck]

‘Superstar’ Vince Jacobs stood with his ever present Armani suit on (blue I might add) and his five hundred dollars gold rimmed Gucci sunglasses. Specially made for the man himself. He stood in front of a CSWA backdrop with a smirk on his face.

“Have you got used to see this gorgeous face yet?” Jacobs said with a smirk.

“Well I am here in front of the glorious CSWA backdrop. No I’m coming to you from my palatial estate in Hollywood or some fancy restaurant, or even my company in Los Angeles. No because the three men that I am here to talk about this week don’t deserve any of that, so they will get to hear Vince Jacobs from a nice ordinary backdrop since that’s basically what I am dealing with is ordinary opponents.”

Jacobs paused.

“But before I get into my opponents for our battle at CSWA 17: Anniversary, I have to make a statement to one person. Mr. Boogie Smallz, you my friend have bitten off more than you can chew. See I gave you an out a few weeks ago when I had you laying on your back looking at the lights hearing that ever familiar tune of a hand hitting the mat for a three count. You were defeated and bounced from the tournament but you my friend… oh… you my friend had to basically make everything I said about you come to fruition. You had to use your thuggish tactics to jump me from behind when I was giving my millions of Star Gazers the right to see me on television since they were going to be bored with another snooze fest in Dan Ryan versus High Flyer part duex.”

“So Boogs you are not man enough to take defeat. I thought you were accustomed to that trend already. It really is a shame that a man such as yourself did what you did. But I guess the reason you did it was to send ole SVJ a message right. That you will be gunning for me correct. Well guess what Smallz, ‘Superstar’ Vince Jacobs got your message and I’m not impressed. You don’t want to start a war with Vince Jacobs my friend because I could do things to you that you wouldn’t even think would be imaginable. Don’t play mind games with a master because you will lose every time. Don’t worry Boogs because if its attention you crave, I will make sure you get it.”

Jacobs took off his shades folded them and placed them in his pocket.

“This brings me to Dan Ryan. The so-called Ego-Buster of the CSWA. The man that never officially lost the Unified Championship. Am I singing your praises enough there Dan. Since it’s obvious that you don’t like to hear mine. You claim that I run my mouth a lot, well it’s easy to do when you have NO ONE that will shut it up for you. Hell where are all the big bad CSWA guys that were supposed to give me a run for my money. The same men that bleed and sweat for this company for years. WHERE ARE THEY? I’ll tell you Dan, their at home watching a real Superstar in action. They are catching a glimpse of a Legend, a real Wrestling God, or should I say a Pro Wrestling Phenomenon at work.”

“And you say I don’t have the credentials, boy someone is living in a glass house. You need to look outside of the CSWA and that defunct GXW to the big picture my friend. I have been all over this world and have held more titles then you can shake a stick at. I have been in this business for twelve years and have seen and done more than most people in this sport. Now if you knew me like you say you did then all this would be irrelevant now wouldn’t it. But see you come out here and pull that same bullsh*t that Boogie and Logic tried to pull. I know you Jacobs; I know what you’re all about. If you know me, and they claimed to know me how come everybody always gets it wrong?”

“Yeah the thing about having an ego and all that jazz is obvious. But that’s about it. No one knows how my mind work or what I will do from one day to the next. But Dan Ryan knows Vince Jacobs, so this ought to be good. You got my unemployed ass hired in GXW.” Vince burst into laughter from the statement.

He tried to regain his composure but started to tear from laughing so hard. After several seconds Vince finally calmed down and gathered himself.

“Since you want to go down that route let’s me tell the truth since people like to put spins on their own versions. Yes I was hired by GXW on a per appearance contract. I know a big guy like you maybe a little slow Dan so say it with me now per appearance contract. That means I only get paid for when I appear on a show. Now why would I take a full contract from GXW when I had very lucrative contracts from the fWo and the ACW? See when you are a big star like me then people pay you to make appearances in their promotion. I even made an appearance or two in Edward Brown’s SCW promotion which I’m sure your very familiar with since that’s where some guy named Rob Sampson (God rest his soul) treated you like a wet food stamp. I know you haven’t gotten to that level where you can make appearances on other shows yet Dan but it will come one day, maybe.”

“Now my time in GXW was not a very well documented time at all. I came into the promotion to help a friend in DreamMaker but he somewhere along the line lost his smile and decided to quit. Now what was there for me to do in the GXW when I only came to help a friend? And this thing about you pulling strings to get SVJ into GXW.” Vince smirked. “Don’t flatter yourself Dan; you don’t have that much pull.”

“Dan, Dan, Dan… me getting my ass handed to me. Don’t make me bust a gut again. Let’s see I spent most of my appearances in the tag team division beating the crap out of the Dark Carnival and the Monsta Boyz. Let’s see if I can recall.” Jacobs places a finger on his temple. “We did make it to the finals of the Unified Tag Title Tournament and lost because my partner as I alluded to earlier lost his smile. So I went back to the fWo, you are correct. More money and more exposure, sure seems like the right choice to me.”

“My god Dan you really think professional wrestling is scripted. How did you come to such a deduction? You must be on one of those internet smarks mailing lists. But since you think I like deciding who wins and loses in my matches then I need to introduce you to two buddies of mine Kay and Fabe. Their hearts would be broken if they heard such and atrocity that wrestling was scripted.” Jacobs gasped

“I need to regain my self now, I just feel so hurt that Dan Ryan thinks so less of the fWo and our sport in general. But Danny I’m am going to prove beyond the shadow of doubt that I am everything I say I am, when I win the Unified Title and hold it up high in the air for people all across the world to see. And if that means I have to prove it against you in the semi-finals or the finals then sobeit. It will be done. You need to remember Danny-boy; I’m no rookie to this sport. I have been given one shot to things in the past and proven myself ten-fold. So this right here will not be such a ridiculous task for me to conquer again.”

Jacobs fixed his jacket before looking into the camera once again.

“Dan for all the nonsense that you speak you may as well tell the world that Vince Jacobs has one ego you can’t bust. See ya at Anniversary, Ryan.”

The screen fades out.

 

[Starstruck]

‘Superstar’ Vince Jacobs still at the same CSWA backdrop as earlier before when he had a few words for the ‘Ego Buster’ Dan Ryan about the impending Unified Title Finals. He still had his gold rimmed Gucci sunglasses hanging on his jacket pocket. He was ready for Part II of his three part montage.

“Mr.Vacant has spoken and this is what we get. A man in a mask that has no clue. It’s kind of funny that your ‘moniker’ is Vacant because that’s the expression I had on my face when I saw that promo.” Jacobs stared at the camera for a few seconds.

“This is ridiculous that I have to hear this crap day in and day out from no-talent hacks in this promotion. Let me see if I got this right. Your whole purpose of being in this tournament is to stake claim to the Unified Title then burn it at the pay-per-view in front of millions of people so you can be the reason for the death of the CSWA. You got to be kidding me.”

Jacobs shook his head in shame.

“This tournament is getting better and better with the characters we got going in this thing. It all plays in well with this whole CSWA: Rebirth thing right Mr. Thomas. Vacant you are worrying about nicknames and Steven Segal movies. See my friend those are the wrong things to be worrying about. You need to be worry about the comp--, well I don’t know about those other guys but you need to be worrying about SVJ.”

“You beat JA and Hornet.” Gives a golf clap after mentioning the names.

“Wow you beat old guy and a luchadore, big f’n deal. You haven’t stepped into the ring with a bona fide Superstar like me yet. Sure you may be able to pull a couple of moves out of your @ss but that will not be enough if you step in the ring with me at anytime. The problem that you face is that NO ONE cares who you are. I know I could care less who you are. Do you think if you take that mask off at Anniversary that it will shock anyone? Well it may shock all the internet smarks and their friends like Dan Ryan but Vince Jacobs have seen it all and he has done even more.”

“Are you upset that everyone is overlooking you? Do you care what the critics say? Of course you do or you wouldn’t be out here crying about it. Me I don’t care what the smarks, reporters, fans or wrestlers in the back have to say about. I know I am on a whole different pedestal then each and everyone of you cretins left in the tournament.”

Jacobs posed for the camera with a smile.

“I’m handsome, rich, have a great smile, and definitely am the best wrestler in the world today. I am what every man wants to be and what every woman desire when they are at home with their husbands.”

“Vacant I have already dispatched two pretenders to my throne. I have no problem with dispatching two more. Could you be one of them?”

Jacobs smiles as the scene fade out.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN....

7:15 - July 12th, 2005 - Greensboro, North Carolina...

- CSWA Headquarters

Dan Ryan stands leaning against a wall in the CSWA Hall of Fame. A portrait of Hornet can be seen in the background, and to one side a shot of Joey Melton in younger days.

Ryan's arms are crossed, sunglasses pulled down.

Ryan: "You know what's funny about this company, Vince?"

"It has a way of growing on you."

"The history, the legacy, all of the storied past of everything it represents....it's all enshrined right here."

"Almost three years ago now I came into this place to find out what the hell it was all about. I'd heard the stories for years, both tempting and horrifying - how if you could succeed there, you could succeed anywhere, and how conversely a newcomer was about as likely to succeed as Vince Jacobs in a spelling contest."

"It was under the guise of an invasion that I made my mark, simultaneously waving the GXW banner and using it at the same time for my own personal purposes."

"It was Evan Aho that drew me here, and GXW was my entrance."

"You say I didn't have pull in GXW?"

"If you're that f**king stupid, I don't know why I'm even bothering with you. Everyone in the industry knows what my standing with the office was in GXW. I had it held over my head constantly when referring to my title reigns there...."

Ryan shrugs....

"Whatever you have to do to justify your weak performance in GXW is fine with me. The tape shows the truth. The tape shows your ass thrown from the top of a cell to end your association with the company due to the disappointment in your workrate."

"Again, I knew people - and so I know better than the nonsense you'd have me believe."

"As for your friends, Kay and Fabe. Let the girls know that they're not in the fans Wrestling organization any longer."

"Nothing against the actual talent from the fWo, but then I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about you."

"Something you'll learn as you step into the real world my friend, is that over here? They don't pretend that we all hate each other 24/7. Maybe you wanna keep up the front, refuse to hang with the good guys and avoid appearing anywhere with a smile on your face to protect your 'business' - that's all good and well."

"Does it hurt your feelings that I talk the way I do? Really man, get in line. It won't be the last time."

"Maybe the office will fine me."

Smile....

"Truth is, you couldn't draw a dime here whether it was scripted or not. And judging from your work on the mic, you should probably be counting your blessings that you don't get graded on promos - I'd hate to see the fallout on that one."

"And let's talk a little about stepping out of GXW and CSWA. I'm sorry, Vince. I didn't know I wasn't as well-travelled as Vince Jacobs. How many titles have you won where again? What Imperial Crest did the Emperor of Idon'treallygivea****a present to you on Chinese New Year?"

"Sorry, Vince but where the talent goes I go. I'd put my record up against yours in a heartbeat and not flinch. That is, if World Titles and the like defined me in the first place."

"How would it feel to you if you lose to me, Vince? Would it register even a blip? Would you, Kay and Fabe go out on the town and celebrate regardless while wearing your wrestling gear? Maybe trash your hotel room to keep up the look?"

"I don't want to know how you think or what makes you do the things you do, regardless of how impressed you are with yourself. I've seen enough of you to know what you can and can't do, but what makes you do and say the things you do? Buddy, if I could lower my thought process that handily I wouldn't be where I am today."

"And where am I today, Vince? I'm in the process of taking possession of the title I never lost in the first place. And the only thing that's within my thought process right now is whether I'll slap you upside the head open palm or just crack the belt across your dome old school."

"Quite frankly, if I thought like you I'd probably have to kill myself."

"The office threw you into a stable with me so you could live off of my legacy in GXW because no one knew who the f**k you were. And now, you're living off of a big mouth and word of mouth from outside the company without so much as a cursory effort at earning your stripes anywhere anybody cares about."

"It's too bad....too damn bad Vince...that you don't get to play your little 'I'm a miserable a***ole gimmick games with me."

"It's too bad that I can wrap your own leg around your skull and make you cry like the day Chad Dupree and Erik Zieba looked at your GXW contract and found themselves legally bound to employ you."

"Well Vinnie....I'm not legally bound to do anything but pin your shoulders to the mat for three seconds - and possibly, if you're still running your damn piehole .....stuff something other than your boot down your gullet to shut you up."

"You think you're gonna go up on the walls with these guys?"

Ryan points back at Hornet and Melton, then strolls slowly to another section of the Hall - the recent champions section - where he points to a picture of himself, in-ring following his World Title victory in Seattle.

"Or even this guy?"

"I think you might be hightailing it back to some obscurely acronymed company sooner than you think."

"Don't let the butterflies get you too worked up though, Vin-man."

"At least you'll still be cool somewhere."

FADE OUT.....

 

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: Troy Windham, standing in front of a CSWA 17: Coronation of a King banner. Troy has on a vintage Rolling Stones "Lips" T-Shirt tucked into black jeans, his hair artfully messy, looking like he's ready for a night out at a packed rockabilly club on the Lower East Side.)

TROY: Y'know, a man goes on vacay for a few days on a Mediterranean Island he owns one-half of and he has to come back to this? Three stiffs talking about god knows what. Boys -- my A/V department showed me the mic-spots. I lasted about 15 seconds before I tapped out and called up Mandi, then Candi, then Brandi and had some fun.

I mean, checkit -- you have a masked clown using the phrase "whigger" in 2005 to disparage an opponent. You have a no-name in a suit jacket Alias wouldn't even wear talking about how every woman desires him. And you have a juiced up clown uttering mono-syllabic words because if he tries anything more than your basic action verbs he gets crippling migrane headaches.

You see, all this talk you guys do is just that -- talk. Me? The Boy Troy? Heh -- I'm a man of ACTION. Let's take a look back at my last three months in this industry. The last 90 days. I buried a man underneath an American flag, denounced my country and had my protege come out here and make each and every single person sitting at home SWEAR their allegiance to me. I urinated in a man's face, humiliating him so badly he hasn't been able to come out on national television to address what I've done to him. I've left Eddie Mayfield lying in a pile of food and blood. I beat Shawn Hart -- the so-called "Phenom" of the Alphabet Soup $5.15 an hour leagues -- in under seven minutes. And then I beat Alias, coming off the so-called biggest upset of all-time over the so-called greatest wrestler of all-time, without even hitting a single wrestling move.

In short, boys, in 90 days I have REINVENTED this sport. All actions and deeds are now COMPARED to what I've done. All the fantasy drafts put me at number one. All the mark fanboys at home are on the edge of their seat, wondering what exactly it is I will do next and to whom. In 90 days, I have accomplished more than the three of you have done in your careers combined. And then when you think about the rest of my stellar career -- all the dirty deeds done dirt cheap, all the model actresses done even dirtier... then you realize one thing. You realize that I AM THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME.

All it took for me was 90 days to show the world what he's known for nearly one whole decade... Troy Windham *IS* this industry.

Now, talk all you want. I'm not going to lower myself and get into a trash-talking war of worlds with a bunch of people who should be fighting over the tablescraps that are the Greensboro Title. Not ONE of you understands how important winning that title is to me. Not ONE of you feeble-minded peasants can comprehend what will happen to this sport WHEN I procure the 13-pounds of gold and diamonds and slap it around my slender waist for the second time. The first time, I beat the unbeatable man, GUNS, and saved this promotion. The first time, Uncle Chad Merrit -- the only man who can have a check clear in this sport -- used my name, my fame and my good looks to bankroll FWCentral, allowing each and every single one of my "illustrious" opponents a chance to not spend their days retrieving the range balls from my country club. The first time I won the title, I CHANGED THIS SPORTS ENTIRE HISTORY.

The second time? Well, you ain't seen NOTHING yet. CSWA 17 isn't about some masked guy who tosses around neanderthal phrases on national television. It isn't about some guy in a cheap suit trying to get rub by using inside phrases like that's never been done before. And it ain't about some short-armed tyranosauraus looking guy with a bad haircut and a valet with scabies nesting in her unshaved vag trying to put together a thought other than "MUST EAT NOW ME HUNGRY."

This match is about Troy Windham winning what was once the most sought-after title in this industry... restoring it to its proper place, setting it as the Gold Standard... this is about Troy Windham ONCE AGAIN *SAVING* this sport from the downtrodden who make a living on my name... this is about TROY WINDHAM becoming the DE FACTO GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME.

CSWA 17 is about THE CORONATION OF A KING... The King of All Wrestling, Troy Windham... Long Live The King. (FTB)

 

[ErikKelly]

Black screen.

A line, this time green, moving in from your left across the screen like an Equator.

Hi, Vacant.

VOICEOVER:

Charming.

A man talking about how pretty he is, who last I saw of him on a television program got pinned by Lindsay flippin' Troy.

It's a good thing I don't show my body in these promos or you would see how hard it is shaking with fear and trepidiation.

We have one fallen icon trying desperately to hang on to his relevancy by boasting of everything he has done, will do, has thought of doing, and seen other people think of doing. Mr. Windham? There's a Chris Jericho on line 1 and he's saying something about getting his promo back without all the suck on it.

And Dan Ryan, a man so determined and set to tear Jacobs apart he is focusing in on him to the exclusivety of myself and the two bookends at the horizontal ladder of mediocrity that make up the finalists. 33 percent chance, Dan. Good luck with that.

After I spoke the truth, I've been subjected to nothing but promo after promo of...exactly what I said.

Imagine that.

For it's not as if I said I would embarass my first round opponent--and I did--or beat Hornet--which I also did.

That would seem to be batting a cool 1 on the average from where I stand.

So when I say I'm going to win and destroy the CSWA Unified World Championship...

...but I've said too much already. But stay tuned, idiot redneck fan: coming up, Vince Jacobs angles to get on the next Surreal Life, Dan Ryan bores you to sleep, and Troy Windham brings up some of his favorite memories from 1997.

...

Dear GOD, you losers need me.

Flatline.

Static.

 

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: Troy, mouth agape, watching Vacant's promo on his flat-screen.)

I'd wear a mask, too, if that was the best mic-spot I could do.

(FTB)

 

[Starstruck]

‘Superstar’ VinceJacobs still at the same CSWA backdrop as earlier before when he had a few words for the ‘Ego Buster’ DanRyan and Vacant about the impending Unified Title Finals. He was basically tired of the crap that he had heard spewing from the mouths of Vacant and especially DanRyan. But now the final member of this quartet final speaks.

Sigh

“Another person in the long list of hacks this company has that has the audacity to say we talk to much.” Jacobs laughs

“Hell I know I am the most prolific man on the mic compare to Mr. Masked Man number whatever and the big man that reads the dictionary everyday to even comprehend what a man like myself has to say. Maybe I should create a book called Interviews for Dummies since you three obviously need help the department.”

“So Troy-diggity you think what you have done in the past ninety days was a tremendous feet. Son I’ve been doing things of that nature my entire career and contrary to what the roided freak have to say, I will continue to do what I do at Anniversary.”

“Let’s take an in depth look at your great ninety days. Wow you beat some kid named ShawnHart who thinks he’s a Phenom. He’s a pretender my friend. I am the only man in the business that can carry that moniker. And you beat Alias last week, the so-called greatest wrestler of all time. Please don’t make me laugh. I have been treating Chris like my b!tch for the past three years. Things I have done and continue to do in that ring have brought me to legendary status.”

“I am the biggest and brightest star in the sky my friend and you three need to look outside your little box called the CSWA and realize that there is more to this wrestling world. There are guys in the business that are ten times better than you three and guess what, I’ve beaten them all. I came to this so-called storied promotion for one thing and one thing only and that’s to add another Unified Title to my trophy room.”

Jacobs smiled.

“People may think I am the odd man out because I haven’t been in the CSWA for a long time like the big goon and Mr.SVJ-wanna be. But it doesn’t matter that I was never here because I am here now and that’s what counts. StephenThomas contacted me personally to add some flavor to this dry tournament. He told me (in his best Thomas voice) ‘Vince you will be in the ring with people like Randalls, Hornet, Ryan and Windham.’ So I shrugged him off and ask about the money.”

“That’s the big picture guys. It’s all about the cash. The fame the glitz and the gold. The stature that becoming a champion personifies. That’s why I am here. Not the competition because frankly I’ve seen none. You guys haven’t lived up to your billing to me. Prove to me that the CSWA wrestlers are some of the best in the world. Prove to me that it is hard to make it in the CSWA. Prove to me that every historian’s claim about the CSWA is correct and then I will give this past the praise it deserves. But for now all I see is three men in my way to procure my destiny.”

“After CSWA 17 goes off the air there will be no burning of the title for all to see, no coronation of a king to behold, or no freak reclaiming any past glory. What you CSWA fans will see is a true Wrestling Phenomenon taking the CSWA Unified Title hold it high in the air and spit in the face of everyone who doubted my Legacy? The Era of SVJ will begin in the CSWA as I start my worldwide tour.”

SVJ gives a smirk to the camera.

“Rest up guys because you are all in for one Superstar-filled night at CSWA 17.”

The camera fades out.

 

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: Troy, mouth agape, watching SVJ's promo on his flat-screen.)

I'd wear a mask if I were you, SVJ, if that was the best mic-spot I could do.

(FTB)

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN....

The lobby of the O. Henry - presumably the only hotel in Greensboro worth a crap.

It's early, pre-dawn. Somewhere a bird chirps, but no one was there to hear it. Did it chirp at all?

Dan Ryan sits, deer in headlights look switched on.

Ryan: "The end is near."

"Vince Jacobs.....Vacant....you've both managed to accomplish something that no man has ever been able to accomplish before."

"I've gotta say that as I sit here and await my morning coffee, it makes a man reflective and contrite to know that two relative newcomers to the area have been able to do what you two have done. It almost makes ya wanna reassess your entire life."

"What did you do?"

"You've made me agree with Troy Windham."

"Way to go, fellas."

"By collectively recording a few of the most indescribably hideous promos in the history of wrestling, you've managed to make me agree that yes - if that's the best you can do, a mask would seem to have been the wise choice all along."

"Though, in Vinnie's case I'm not sure the mask would help that much. That hair lip, that awkward 'just had an enema for fun' gait....all of that is so easily recognizable it wouldn't take too long to point out the 'Supastar' in a lineup."

"You guys have absolutely nothing to say and it shows. Tell me...VACANT...."

"Tell me again how I should be acting during promo week. Tell me again how my focus has been only on Vinnie and I've been ignorin' little ol' you."

"Well...it's funny but I thought I did address you the first time you spoke. Or maybe the static from that cheap band-radio synthesizer you use to mask your voice is pealing off radiation into your brain."

"Here's how it goes, just for future reference...."

"You speak....I respond. Once you speak again, I respond again."

"See how that works? All nice and logical isn't it?"

"And here, for completeness' sake is how it does not go..."

"You speak...I respond....someone else speaks....I respond to them.....yet another person speaks....you speak and tell me how I'm neglecting you."

"You're like the older brother who can't help but whine because his little sister got more attention on her birthday."

"If you had done anything worthy of my attention, I'd have said something to you. As it is, I've already spent more time in this promo than your last promo was worth."

"I've had some discussions about you lately with some close friends. It's interesting how unanimous it is that you've failed in your quest so thoroughly already."

"You've come to this point, with nothing but the ultimate prize standing before you - and suddenly you feel you've said too much."

"Uhh...yeah. That's kinda what my point was the first time. You've said too much and done too little."

"I'm waiting for my lesson though, and I'm sure it'll come. I just hope you don't get jealous if I say a few words to Vinnie and Troy now."

"I promise you...."

Dan leans in to the camera with full attention....

"Just because I'm spending time with the two of them doesn't mean your mother and I love you any less..."

"And you can be my special helper!!"

Dan leans back...

"Now Vinnie, I'm not sure if it was a wise move....referencing a need for a dictionary to understand your promos. Truth be told, I think you might wanna take a refresher course on grammar before teaching a class on word comprehension."

"For that matter, a transcript of one of your promos could very well be on this year's SATs. You know...."

"Please correct the errors in this paragraph."

"Hell, you're gonna bust the hell out of the curve with your last one alone. That darn thing's gonna take up at least thirty-five of their alloted fifty minutes for that section."

"And the bragging about what you've done, Vinnie..."

sigh...

"Really, it's just getting to be sad."

"I can respect a good cocky, arrogant attitude as befitting a man of accomplishment. I'm just not seein' it with ya, buddy."

"What I'm seeing is a tool who doesn't even realize he's a tool - and that my friend is the worst tool of all."

"Just hangin' in the garage with no purpose - taking up space."

"And Troy..."

smile...

"Can't forget good ol' Troy...."

"I'm sure you're refreshed to hear someone other than Vin-man or Vacant on your television screen. I'm afraid my opinion doesn't differ too much from theirs regarding you, but at least my version will be about a hundred times more eloquent."

"Now Troy...."

"I know you're an intelligent guy. I'm gonna give you that benefit even if some may question me even for that...."

"See, I know what you do."

"I know the game, I've seen it unfold."

"Troy...ya know....ya just....ya just can't coast by on natural God-given ability any longer, man. Ya just can't. There has come a time when you're actually gonna have to put the work in."

"And what's ironic to me is you resting your recent 'success', if you can call it that, on peeing on Donavan Winters....on beating Shawn Hart, whose career had taken such a downturn that he changed his name....on beating Alias, who to this very moment still means absolutely nothing to me.....on smoke and mirrors and magic tricks...when everyone knows....tricks are for kids."

"No Troy....this doesn't make you a threat."

"It makes you entertaining."

"And maybe that's good enough for you."

"You had your sights set on Hollywood early and it was enough then. Wrestling was in your blood but never really in your soul, was it Troy?"

"So what sort of crack in the shell of your ego is it when the only thing Hollywood calls for these days is to replace Erik Estrada on those pre-paid calling card commercials because he came down with mono again?"

"So what if your success in actual wrestling is limited to that win over GUNS...and how long ago was that again?"

"You've had an interesting career, no doubt man."

"You've entertained millions I know....brought men to their feet and women to their knees."

"None of that is gonna win you the UNIFIED World Title."

"You may bring the 'show' aspect to these proceedings, Troy. But nothing you can say, do and produce in video, DVD or eight millimeter format can prove anything other than you're in a situation you can't come out of victorious."

"Oh sure...bring a troupe of your circus friends.....secret family members nobody knows about....maybe a foreign object or two...and maaaaybe..."

"But I guess that makes you ES-OH-EL with the no interference stip in place."

"Stephen Thomas has a plan for me, Troy. He has a plan because he knows I'll be there. He has a plan because he knows me to be a threat. He knows because he's experienced it."

"His plan for you is for you to work the crowd and be the Hollywood that you always wanted to be."

"And my plan is for you to experience why he's so worried."

"Greatest wrestler of all time?"

"Psshhh....you're not even the greatest WINDHAM of all time."

"And I know."

"I just hope Vacant doesn't get jealous of all this time I've spent on you...."

FADE OUT....

 

[DBrunkGXW]

bump it up!

 

[Starstruck]

Vince Jacobs sat in his palatial estate in the famed Hollywood Hills basking in the California sun poolside. He grabbed himself a glass of lemonade sitting on the table beside him taking a sip from the straw before focusing on the cameraman standing about seven feet away from him.

“It’s so funny to hear Dan Ryan spill verbal diarrhea to all the fans of the CSWA. This big retard reminds me of Lenny from the book Of Mice and Men. Well you know what Dan I will pretend to be your George and guide you along this trip called the journey to the Unified Championship. Stay with me now because I know how slow you big guys can be.”

“From the looks of things that are happening with this tournament it seems that Lenny is singling little ole me out from the rest of the pack. He wants me to earn my stay in the CSWA. Well my friend it seems that I have already done that with two impressive victories in the tournament. I got through my opponents no problem seems to me that other people had a little trouble with Fly-boy. But its ok Dan, I know it’s hard for a big man like you to move around after taking that nice dietetic steroid shake each morning.”

“So I will understand when or if we meet in the ring you will be a lackluster opponent to a man that can and will out wrestle any one of you three plebeians in this match. But it’s okay Lenny; your George is here to guide you down the right path. The path you need to be taken is not the road to the Unified Championship but maybe that United States title. Maybe you need to step back and evaluate the situation. See it plays out like this Vince Jacobs equals ratings and money. Have you noticed the ratings boost since I have been on in this promotion. Hell why do you think they call me the Ratings Grabber, because it’s obvious that when I am in a promotion I am the one commanding the attention of the audience. I am the one putting my body on the line to entertain these fans. I am the one making jokes like you look good in the ring.”

Jacobs sits up and does his best Dan Ryan voice.

“I won’t be available for calls to talk about our match, Vince.”

Jacobs sighed. He speaks again in his Dan Ryan voice.

“Why do I constantly have to work with amateurs? I mean can they get their lines right. It’s a script. He can’t read the script. He is supposed to say this and I am supposed to say this and then we duke it out in the ring. Let me call his agent to figure out what the hell is going on.”

Jacobs started to laugh.

“Is that supposed to be the premise of all this Dan? Is that how it supposed to work outside of CSWA? You are such a misguided fool. This is the professional wrestling business and it works a certain way EVERYWHERE. One place is not as different as another and you my friend need to realize that. But you said something that actually made me think and that was that CSWA has a way of growing on you. I couldn’t agree with you more. I will go one better and say that the company and the people actually has a way of growing on you. LIKE F*CKIN FUNGUS!!”

“The company in general I can deal with but it seems that most of its wrestlers are self righteous sons of b*tches.” Vince paused for a second. “But you know what, that makes me keep coming back here. That is what makes me enjoy this company more each day when I can look back and shut the mouths of those same self righteous bastards that think less of a..” Vince uses his hands in a quotation mark gesture. “…so-called new comer to their glorious CSWA.”

“Ryan you come on television blasting me on grammar, spelling or whatever the hell else you bore us with. I am the most charismatic, poignant, man in this company. But if I’m not mistaken this will be a wrestling match at CSWA 17 and not some National Grammar Rodeo sponsored by Dan ‘Lenny’ Ryan.”

Jacobs took another sip of his lemonade.

“The real world Dan… Hmm… Is there an imaginary world where you live? Is there this world with chocolate covered wrestling mats and fairies aplenty? I mean what the hell are you talking, hating some one twenty-four seven. Have you been smoking that wacky weed from Boogie again? Because you have to be on something real good to think that we are in an alternate wrestling universe or something. But it’s okay Dan, I understand. I know it’s hard to grasp anything when the roid shakes aren’t flowing they way you’re used to.”

Jacobs speaks in a consoling tone.

“It’s really okay. We are going to get help for your delusional visions. But as for your title hopes I am going to have to crush that vision, since you are outmatched in every way possible. Because once I hold that title high in the air at CWSA 17 then my drawing power to this company will be dare I say ten times greater than it is now? Why? Because people signify with a champion and that’s what I am and have been and will continue to be.”

“Dan I recall you asked me a question, which was how would it feel to lose to you? For one that’s not going to happen, but on the off chance there is an earth realignment or something and you I do lose. Well let’s see what will, I do.”

Jacobs placed his finger on his head, thinking.

“Before I answer that question I know what you want me to say. You want me to say that if I lose to Dan Ryan and get ousted in the Unified Tournament then I am going to pack my bags and go back to my lucrative contracts in the fWo and the ACW. It would be a strong possibility but I can’t do that because of one thing. I would miss you guys. I would miss berating you in front of your peers each and every night. But to answer your question if I did lose to Dan Ryan I would slit my wrists… No I would continue to stay here and take possession of what I came here for and that’s the Unified Gold.”

“Jacobs is here to stay because you peons need me. You need a Wrestling Phenom to make this company and its workers look credible. And if ‘Superstar’ Vince Jacobs becoming Unified Champion is what it will take for that happen then I am willing to drop a few levels to help you guys out. I am all about lending a helping hand to the poor and underprivileged.”

Jacobs stand to his feet as he looks into the camera.

“And Danny-boy don’t get mad when my picture is on the wall in the hallowed halls of the CSWA outshining everything and everyone else. It’s inevitable my friend… it’s inevitable.”

Jacobs walks away as the scene fades out.

 

[Starstruck]

bump I say

 

[Starstruck]

Jacobs sits in his study all towelled off after watching Vacant and Windham promos. He shakes his head as the scene fades out.

 

[GreggG]

In one hundred words

(CUT TO: Troy Windham, shades, CSWA Coronation of a King banner.)

TROY: I don't need to come out here and ramble about myself. All I need to do is preach the Gospel, as I always have. The past 90 days, I have done more Dirty Deeds and set the BAR for what is capable in this industry. My no-name opponents can't touch what I've done. And when you look back on my vaunted career and see these past 90 days are NOTHING compared to the past decade, then you realize something.

I am the greatest of all time. And at Anniversary, the world will see the coronation of the king of wrestling.

(FTB)

 

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: A smirking August De La Rossi, sitting in his wheelchair, with a freezeframe shot of a towelled, damp SVJ behind him.)

AUGUST: Jacobs, is the towel because of the cold sweat you broke out in watching Troy destroy on the microphone without having to say a word? Or were the sweats a result of your homosexual fantasy for the man you aspire to be so much?

(FTB)