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UCW's June 17th Revolution!

thegr817deuce

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The show opens up to the very edge of the Pepsi Center. About a dozen security guards are lined up at the parking lot doors. We then see Ken Cloverleaf barking orders at each of the security guards.

KC: Once again, gentlemen…

I don’t want that big gay bastard in my building. I run this building for the night and if anything gay, over six and a half feet tall makes its way into MY building, there will be serious repercussions.

Cloverleaf storms off as the UCW logo takes over the screen and Marilyn Manson plays in the background.

RC: Hello again everyone and welcome to UCW Revolution! Folks, we’re going to get things underway immediately as we have two people who swear they have nothing in common are squaring off in singles action. These two really rub each other the wrong way.

RB: This new guy, this... Sergeant... he came out talking about similarities between the two and in the end just managed to piss John Doe off. They’ve both had their successes and failures outside of UCW, but I think Doe has been the more successful. Look for Doe to finish this match with the intelligence he used to get over on Benoitholic Anonymous last week.

RC: Any way you look at it, The Sergeant is looking for his first win in his debut while john Doe is looking to extend his record to two-and-oh. Any thoughts, Doctor?

DR: John Doe has much more of a reckless abandon in his wrestling style that will probably be in full effect tonight. Watch for The Sergeant to try and ground him with pure technical ability. His game plan is going to be to keep everything on the mat in the center of the ring.

RC: With that, let’s take it down to ringside for the introductions.

(Down at the ring...)

Tony Bell: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Springfield, Missouri... standing five feet, ten inches and weighing in at two hundred and one pounds... he is THE SERGEANT!!!!!!!!

(“We Right Here” by DMX blares over the loudspeakers as The Sergeant enters through the curtains... The Crowd pops for his Ultimate Championship Wrestling debut... He plays to the crowd a little on his way to the ring... Upon entering the ring he begins stretching, immediately getting ready for his match and trying to tune out the crowd...)

RC: The Sergeant is looking focused and definitely ready for John Doe tonight.

DR: I like how he saves his energy and works on preparing himself for the match. There aren’t many young people in this sport that do that.

RB: What is this guy supposed to be, exactly. He looks like a reject from the movie Jarhead or something.

RC: Um... Jarhead was about Marines in the first Gulf War. The Sergeant is a veteran of the latest war in Iraq, and he’s former Army... not a former Marine.

RB: Whatever.

(Back to the ring...)

TB: His opponent, from parts unknown, stands five feet, ten inches and weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds. He is... JOHN DOE!

(John Doe comes out to a little bit of a mixed reaction, but mostly cheers... He goes to some strange military drill and ceremony position that I’m sure is nowhere in the regulations... After that, he salutes The Sergeant, who is standing in the ring, and then makes his way down the ramp toward the ring...)

RB: I said it last week when he did it to Benoitholic and I’ll say it again this week about his actions toward The Sergeant. Somebody had to make fun of that idiot.

RC: The fans are really feeling this match. John Doe gave a good show last week even though the finish was shady, and I think the fans want to know if he can pull one over on The Sergeant this week.

(The bell rings with both men now staring at each other in the ring...)

RC: Both men not giving an inch as they lock up.

(The Sergeant shucks Doe downward, using the momentum to keep him off balance while he swings around...)

DR: Textbook belly-to-back takedown. See how The Sergeant follows it up?

(With a knee in John Doe’s back, The Sergeant pulls both of Doe’s arms back... Doe’s head sporadically comes up off of the mat to scream in pain...)

RB: You’ve got to be kidding me! This hold wouldn’t last for any length of time on a normal wrestler, and it’s got John Doe screaming. What a joke!

RC: Leave it to you to figure out a way to insult both opponents at the exact same time. You know, that takes talent.

(Realizing that the hold won’t be able to finish off Doe, The Sergeant transitions into waist lock... Doe flips over, but Sergeant uses the momentum to carry him back on top and into an ankle lock... The crowd is on their feet as Sergeant twists a little tighter...)

DR: All of the moving around the ring has inched John Doe a little closer to the ropes than Sergeant would like. It’s bad positioning but an effective hold.

RC: Good call, as Doe reaches the ropes and The Sergeant immediately breaks the hold. Great sportsmanship from the rookie...

(Doe pulls himself to his feet limping... He is quick to rise and immediately spins around, catching The Sergeant between the eyes with a stiff right hand...)

RB: That’s what I’m talking about! One punch and The Sergeant is to the canvas!

RC: Sergeant trying to shake the birds out of his head after that one, while John Doe is limping around the ring trying to walk the damage from the previous ankle lock away.

(Closing the distance between him and The Sergeant, John Doe baseball slides a dropkick into The Sergeant’s head... The sliding dropkick sends Sergeant rolling to the arena floor...)

DR: This is where we’ll see some of that reckless abandon that I mentioned earlier. It’s where John Doe is at his best.

(The Sergeant is on his feet on the outside, and John Doe runs to the opposite ropes... He rebounds at full speed and launches himself over the top rope into a plancha onto Sergeant... The crowd shows their appreciation for such a daring move...)

RB: I love it when two guys are so intent on putting each other in the hospital. It makes for a great match. We should all be so blessed!

RC: I’m not sure which of these two got the worst of that.

DR: Well, when those types of moves are in your repertoire, your body has to be able to withstand that type of punishment. I expect John Doe to be on his feet first after that move.

(As if Doe heard him, he raises to his feet using the ring apron for assistance... It looks like he’s on his way back into the ring, so the referee breaks the count but as soon as the count is stopped Doe flies backward with a moonsault that lands directly on the Sergeant... The referee begins his count again...)

Referee: 1... 2... 3...

(Doe back to his feet...)

Referee: 4... 5...

(John Doe helps The Sergeant to his feet...)

Referee: 6... 7...

(He sends Sergeant via Irish Whip into the steel railing on the outside of the ring... The crowd let’s out a gasp as Sergeant cracks his back on steel with a loud “CRACK!”...)

Referee: 8... 9...

(Doe rolls into the ring...)

RC: I thought for sure we were on our way to a double count out. John Doe manages to make his way into the ring in order to break the count.

RB: Keep your eye on The Sergeant, though. He’s staggering back toward the ring looking mighty worse for wear.

(John Doe meets The Sergeant on the ring apron, with Doe on the inside and The Sergeant on the outside... after softening Sergeant up with a couple of right hands, Doe hooks him, lifts him up, and then uses a slingshot suplex to bring him the rest of the way into the ring...)

RC: Great intensity from John Doe. Don’t think for one second that he came here for anything less than a win.

(Doe makes a move for Sergeant only to have him work his way right back into an ankle lock...)

RC: Look at this! The Sergeant has somehow managed to hook John Doe in another ankle lock submission. I don’t know where he found the presence of mind to get Doe in that hold!

DR: Me either. It’s like it’s just a natural thing for him to hook these submissions on an opponent. If this is what we can come to expect from the two of them, then I’d say UCW has a lot to look forward to.

RB: Speak for yourself. I can think of more than half of the roster right off the top of my hand that could easily wipe the mat with these two young punks.

(The Sergeant tries to maintain control of the ankle lock, but is still very shaky from the offense that John Doe hit him with over the past few minutes... With steady work, Doe is able to reach the ropes again... The referee doesn’t even have a chance to ask Sergeant to release the hold because he already let go and backed away...)

RC: I’m still amazed by this man’s sportsmanship.

(Doe tries to do as he did earlier in the match, as he slowly picks himself off of the mat and stands trying to sucker Sergeant closer to him... The Sergeant doesn’t fall for it and keeps his distance...)

RC: Doe spins around and tries to catch Sergeant off guard again but Sergeant is too far away. He just swings at thin air. He makes a complete three-sixty and Sergeant measures him up... ATOMIC DROP! Doe stumbles forward and Sergeant closes the distance... ANOTHER ATOMIC DROP!

(The crowd cheers in approval...)

RC: The Sergeant is closing the distance again... this time he hooks Doe’s head back from behind. Is he going for the Corrective Training? NO! Reverse DDT on Doe by the Sergeant.

RB: What in the world is the Corrective Training?

RC: It’s Sergeant’s finishing submission hold.

RB: Well whoopdee doo!

(The Sergeant back on his feet...)

RC: Splash from Sergeant! He goes for the cover...

1...



2...



NO!!!!!

John Doe kicks out at the two count.

DR: Great intensity from the soldier. To tell you the truth, I would have been very surprised if Doe wouldn’t have managed a kick out, though.

(Sarge quickly gets to his feet while helping Doe up... Doe has his back to Sergeant...)

RC: John Doe with a series of elbows to the face of The Sergeant in an attempt to get back into the match. Sergeant is rocked backwards. Doe rebounds off the ropes and hits Sergeant with a cross body block! He goes for the cover...

1...

KICKOUT!!!!!

Only a one count for Doe.

RB: This is like watching amateur night in some regional promotion.

(John Doe is up, The Sergeant is up... Doe quickly levels The Sergeant with a huge standing sidekick...)

RC: The crowd was taken right back out of the match with that move.

DR: We’ve got two individuals who want this win more than anything right now. I sense another momentum switch or two before this thing ends.

(Doe goes to the top rope... He’s looking for a frog splash and connects... The move sends him bouncing off of Sergeant and rolling to the far ropes...)

RC: Did you see that!? All Doe has to do is cover Sergeant and this match should be over.

DR: He’s wasting a lot of time trying to recover, though. The Sergeant is being given too much time.

(After what seems like an eternity, Doe begins his slow progression on hands and knees toward Sergeant... The fans are on their feet as the suspense builds...)

RC: He’s inching closer and closer...

(Finally, he’s there...)

RC: This should be it...

1...



2...



THR-NO!!!!!

I can’t believe it! The Sergeant has just kicked out of a HUGE frog splash! The crowd is absolutely beside themselves right now.

(As the crowd continues to cheer and urge the wrestlers on, Doe rolls away from Sergeant and Sergeant starts to pick himself up off of the mat by using the nearby ropes...)

RC: Both men to their feet and Doe closing in on The Sergeant... Sergeant ducks a running clothesline... he hooks Doe in the CORRECTIVE TRAINING!!!!!

(From the reverse DDT position, The Sergeant sends Doe crashing to the mat... Rather than let go, Sarge locks his legs around the midsection of Doe and begins wrenching in this submission maneuver... The crowd goes insane...)

RC: Doe is slapping his hands on the mat! This one is over!

The winner as a result of submission... The Sergeant!!!!!

----Commercial Break----

(FADEIN: A black screen.)

(MUSIC UP: The tranquil sounds of the Ocean. Hypnotic and beautiful.)

(VOICE OVER: Breathe. Exhale and say softly, "Goodbye control. I give up thee. Goodbye obscurity. Joey Melton will make me.)

(CUTTO: A close-up of the Ultra-tron as fans ERUPT. A shot of Melton on the deck of a Cruise ship, arms outstretched, King of the
Worlddddddddddddddddddddddddd.)

(MUSIC UP: "Pretty Girls Make Graves" - The Smiths)

(CUTTO: Joey Melton bursting onto the scene, walking down the aisle to a mixed reception. There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like real entertainment on their Carnival Cruises and those who don't.)

RC: Bitterman wake up, Joey Melton's about to o-fish-ally hit a UCW ring.

RB: (chanting) I give up control to thee.... I...

RC: Lord...

(CUTTO: Melton stepping through the top and middle ropes, strutting into the ring. He pins his arms back and spins on one heel. He misses the days when he didn't have to do anything else to get over. When your career kicked off when a loaf of bread was a dollar, it's hard to swallow the realities of today's business landscape. People want more. Screw'em. The Sounds of the Ocean will suffice. This is Melton on one heel, spinning, saying, "You get this much from me." If the first check clears, he'll order a custom made robe. But, our chickens have to hatch first. Oh, do they....)

DR: Look at you Rich you're beaming!

RC: I'm just counting on Melton not remembering which Cruise he made a
millionaire.

DR: Good luck with that.

JOEY MELTON: (on house mic) Helllllllllllo Detroit! (booos)

RB: We're not in...

RC: The man's a God, don't be disrespectful.

RB: Okay. Thank you sir.

JOEY MELTON: You know, there's two ways to look at this moment. One, you've all been inordinately blessed. Two, I really have to stop playing Truth or Dare.

DARE - Travel back to the Hinterlands of this sport and do it again. Put some dumb (censor) and their $2000 a night payroll on the map. That sound you hear...is fifty grown men jumping on a couch in the back. The alien ship has landed, and Joey Melton will change the course of wrestling history for his own good, yet again. Do be afraid, people of Hinterland, USA. Do not fear change. Do not fear the new dress codes I will DEMAND at every Revolution. Do not fear the stagehands passing collection plates during every show so this dog and pony can AFFORD me. Do not fear boredom and mediocrity any longer. While, I may not be able to save you from your own sad lives, I CAN...save from you Irish Red's. From Jonathon Marx's. And from Dan Ryan's. What I WILL provide is a noble distraction from your mortgage payments, and the pile of dishes rising out of your tub. Credit Maw and Paw in the back. They went out and found a real entertainer. They took a good, objective look at their product, and brought in the wrestling HEADHUNTER. They made an investment in the quality of your lives while it's in their hands, and for that...I ask each of you to stand and applaud.

(Boooo.)

RB: Sit down Rich.

RC: I heard my name.

DR: I bet.

JOEY MELTON: That's it. Yes! Yes!

(Booo)

Would you prefer the alternative? Do you prefer a company that WILLINGLY books Cameron Cruise in Main Events, and papers cars in a grocery parking lot with fliers with CAMERON'S NAME <b>BOLD FACED</b> AND HEADLINED?

Cammy, when I ran you out of this business...I just assumed you started driving a delivery truck. While it's a pleasant surprise that you're still in the sport...regrettably this means, you're back in the basement while mommy and daddy host their guest.

Marx...Ryan...once again you will pay me to be your better.

I could say more, but I hear the music playing. Like a good soap, I've been asked to drag out my brilliance to string you irritants along. But the DREAM has arrived. Cup your hands, and lay them over your ears....and listen to the bold Sound of the Ocean.

Joey Melton has come to give peace to you all.

(booooooooooooooo)

(CUTTO: Melton throwing down the house mic to a rain of confused jeers.)

RC: Sorry, but did he say "Cameron" or....

DR: Can we just get back to the action? Who the hell does this guy think he is?

PROMO vs. ESTABAN

Up next, a very weary Estaban makes his way to the ring against the monster Promo. The match went exactly as anyone would think it would have. Promo completely destroyed Estaban for the entire match as Estaban’s only offense was a well-placed boot to the VERY low midsection that only infuriated Promo. After laying Estaban out with a PromoPlex, Promo made his way out to the outside of the ring. He then removed the timekeeper from his chair before making his way back into the ring and waffling Estaban with it.

As Promo prepared to make an example out of Estaban with the chair already raised, the crowd gasped as a near 7-foot man dressed in all white made his way down to the ring. He slid into the ring and beat the hell out of Promo with the grace of a man half his size, but the power of a bulldozer. After nailing Promo with a running powerslam, Ken Cloverleaf made his way out to the ramp, just in time for the masked man to make his way over the top rope and out through the crowd with no questions answered.

Winner: Estaban via DQ

----Commercial Break----

Ken Cloverleaf makes his way back to his office. As soon as he enters, the door re-opens as The First busts in. First demands that Cloverleaf give him his rematch for the UCW Title because of his actions as referee at Civil War. Cloverleaf then informs the first that he’s not going to give any of his REFEREES a shot at the biggest prize in the company, so First must now prove himself to be a wrestler again and defeat Dan Ryan for a rematch with Irishred next week on Revolution.

BENOITHOLIC ANONYMOUS vs. AJ CIRRUS

The match was relatively quick-paced as both men let their offensive minds take over while the other refused to play any defense. AJ Cirrus managed to gain the advantage toward the end of the match, thanks to his minor size advantage. After nailing BA with a savate kick, AJ pulled him into a double underhook as he prepared to finish the match. As AJ pulled BA into the crucifix position, BA managed to slip out. BA quickly grabbed his knee upon planting, but also managed to roll up AJ in a school boy and hold the tights for the very sneaky victory.

Winner: Benoitholic Anonymous

----Commercial Break----

Ken Cloverleaf is seen in his office. He shakes his head as he begins speaking to himself.

KC: That big gay bastard thinks that he can pull one over on me? I’ll do him one better. I’m going to reward Estaban for his hard work here tonight with a match against Kin Hiroshi in a hardcore match.

JONATHAN MARX vs. DAMON BLACKBURN

This match saw more runs of offense than the Dallas/Miami series. Each man took his own type of offense and made the other subject to it as he did his best to win the match. Marx did his best to keep Blackburn grounded with spinebusters and suplexes, while Blackburn leapt off the ropes so many times that Jeff Hardy would have been jealous. In the end, a botched attempt at Lightning Strikes Twice ended up biting Damon in the ass literally and figuratively as he missed the leg drop from the top. Marx then hit a make-shift DDT with Damon still sitting on the mat before locking him in the Marxism and forcing the “defacto world champion” to tap out.

Winner: “Gentleman” Jonathan Marx

----Commercial Break----

In the backstage area, Joey Melton is seen having a word or two with Cameron Cruise, but no hostility is detected…until Jonathan Marx accidentally bumps into Melton.

Melton: Better watch where you’re going, rookie?

Marx: Rookie? That was a few years ago.

Melton: Certainly didn’t look like it in the ring there.

Marx: A win is a win. Make the wrong mistake and you’ll be the one doing the tapping next time.

Melton then smacks his coffee right into Marx’s head as the two rumble before security finally breaks them up.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
ADAM BENJAMIN vs. KIN HIROSHI

The closest match of the night saw two of the best competitors in UCW going back and forth more than George and Weezy. Hiroshi got the early advantage with several very well-landed suplexes that sent the US champ into quite the screaming fit. Hiroshi then made the mistake of going to the well one too many times as Benjamin reversed Hiroshi’s attempt at a vertical suplex into an implant DDT. Benji then basically beat the hell out of Hiroshi with some of the stiffest moves wrestling has seen. Benji held the advantage until the special guest announcer; Mr. Incredible made his way to the apron with a chair after a ref bump. Benji saw it coming however and caught Mr. I. He then grabbed the chair that Mr. I dropped and used it to obliterate the unsuspecting Hiroshi. Benji then revived the ref just enough for him to count the three as Benji made the roll-up with his feet on the ropes. Benji then grabs a mic.

(Adam is handed his US title)

Benjamin:

"You know it’s a bloody shame that I have to stand here in front of all you pathetic excuses of human beings. Now I am being forced to have my matches called by some retired American saint.

(Adam looks down at Mr. Incredible resting his arms on the top ropes as he showcases the US title over his shoulder proudly.)

"Nothing better to do? Trying to relive glory? I got a idea for you chap. How about you climb into this ring and attack me when I am looking?

I mean you really were patriotic when you attack me after my match last week. SO how about it old man?

(Adam looks down, as Mr. Incredible shakes his head is disbelief.)

"I did not think so. No, you’re just a washed up, old man who is dieing for one last cheap pop from all these low life fans who for some reason respect you.

I however do not respect anything about you. To me you are just another pimple of the ass of this country.

You make me sick to my stomach. However I am willing to end this right now. I am going to come down there and shake your hand like a gentleman.

(Adam exits the ring; Mr. Incredible gets up and takes off his headset.)

"Relax Old Spice I am not going to hit you. Truthfully I am going to end this like a man. Let’s shake on this and get on with our lives.

(Adam extends his hand; Mr. Incredible seems reluctant to shake his hand.)

"Shake it mate, and let’s end this bloody nonsense.

(Mr. Incredible extends his hand, only to receive a stiff slap across the face which sends him into his seat. "Yours Truly" looks at him smiling as he walks off.)

Winner: Adam Benjamin

----Commercial Break----

Kin Hiroshi is making his way back to his locker room with his head down, hand on his neck. He then turns the corner, only to run right into a Singapore cane shot from his nemesis, Promo. Promo simply stands over his fallen opponent as the crew takes us to the main event.

RC: Well folks, this is what we’ve been waiting for all night. As we found out earlier from commissioner Cloverleaf, this match will be for a shot at the UCW title next week here on Revolution!

(Cue up: "Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins.)

(Thunderous crowd pop)

(CUT TO: 'Ego Buster' flashes across the screen in rapid contrasting black and white. CUT TO: Dan Ryan gorrilla presses Kevin Powers from inside the ring to the floor below. CUT TO: The word "YOU" flashes on the screen. CUT TO: Dan Ryan throws 'Living Legend' Mark Windham from the second level of Key Arena down to the first level. CUT TO: the word "ARE". CUT TO: Dan Ryan clotheslines 'Cocky' Craig Miles, nearly taking his head off. CUT TO: the word "BUSTED" CUT TO: rapid shots of Dan Ryan pulverizing opponents with the Humility Bomb, a last ride power bomb landing high angle on the neck.)

(Ryan walks down to ringside as pyro erupts along the ramp beside him. He rolls under the bottom rope and climbs a corner turnbuckle and simply glares through the sunglasses into the crowd.)

RB: And this is the man that will be getting that title shot, there is no doubt in my mind.

DR: Well, Dan Ryan certainly did not sound like he wanted to be much a part of this match earlier in the week, but I think that the shot at the title will be a little more motivation for him.

RC: I would have to- Look out here!

DR: The First isn’t even waiting on his entrance music! He’s out here to prove a point to Cloverleaf that he deserves his rematch at that UCW title he used to own!

RB: He shouldn’t even be messing with it.

RC: First slides into the ring. He cocks back…

DR: Wait a second! Dan Ryan is waving off The First! What the hell is he doing?

RC: Well, First isn’t buying anything right now. He’s still got that hand cocked. But Ryan is stepping closer.

DR: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Dan Ryan just hit the mat!

RC: I think he framed The First’s cocked fist as a phantom punch! Dan Ryan is on his back! He’s yelling something at The First!

DR: First is slow to do so, but he’s now covering Dan Ryan!

1…

2…

3!!!

TB: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… The First!

RC: What the hell is Dan Ryan doing? Does he not give a damn about a shot at the UCW Title? What’s he even doing here if he’s going to throw away chances like that?

(“Bad Company” hits over the PA. The crowd goes wild as the UCW Champion makes his way out to the top of the ramp with a mic in hand.)

IR: What the hell was that? You’re telling me that that FREAK gets another shot at MY title because his opponent “laid down” for him?

(Massive boos. First grins at Irishred as Dan Ryan peers up through his sunglasses that he didn’t even bother to remove.)

IR: You know Dan Ryan, it’s quite funny you carried around a sack of **** on a belt before because, quite frankly, what you just did is bull (EXPLICIT). You call yourself a wrestler? A man of the business, you aren’t anything compared to me.

I’m proving that in your own federation, and now, I feel the need to prove that physically here in MY federation!

(Red drops the mic as he glares at Ryan. Ryan then slowly exits the ring and methodically makes his way up the ramp as First stares on from the ring.)

RC: Here we go! These two are going to tear each other apart and you have to think that The First is going to sit and watch as Irishred will be much softer for him next week in their title match!

(Ryan is finally almost up the ramp as Red sits with his title on the stage beside of him. Ryan then makes his way even with Red as he simply gives him a quick stare before simply walking past him and going to the backstage area. Red has nothing to say as he just stares at the empty entranceway in amazement. The camera flashes back to First as he does the same.)

DR: What the hell was that? What is up with Dan Ryan? First, he takes a fall when there’s a UCW title shot on the line, and now, he simply walks right past Irishred without so much as a confrontation!

RC: Folks, I have no clue what is going on here anymore! But we’re out of time! UCW Title next week…Irishred…First…The REMATCH!

(Fade to UCW logo.)
 

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