TBirdSCIL
League Member
Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...
TV Title Match: Jarod Poe vs. The Cannonball Kidd
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
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(Cueup: "I'll Show You" by VonRay)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I'm sure my track record will show that I talk about the various obstacles I must overcome to remain self-actualized a lot. And when I say "a lot," I really do mean a heck of a lot. And while I'm always satisfied with my level of self-actualization, I just wouldn't feel right about taking things for granted. As a result, I'm constantly evaluating my tendencies.
(The camera zooms out to show Cannonball's full face)
Cannonball Kidd: Today's issue? Jumping to conclusions. When I heard I was booked for a grudge match against "Showtime" Steven James at RingLords, I jumped to a conclusion. I mean, up until that point, I was rocketing up the ranks in GLCW, and then suddenly, I dropped back down to where I started, taking on GLCW's designated whipping boy on pay-per-view. It seemed like a pretty bad sign. Of course, I wasn't worried about LOSING to James, and that lack of worry was justified, as I defeated him pretty soundly, and the only problem was that I didn't count on him hiring out a goon to run a hit on me after I'd beaten him fair and square. But the worry was still that I was slipping down the ladder I'd been climbing so rapidly.
(Cannonball grins emphatically)
Cannonball Kidd: And what a waste of time THAT was. Immediately after RingLords, I find myself entered into an eight-man battle royal for a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title against such big names as Michael Manson, Anarky, and the Jobber. And THEN, before that battle royal even takes place, I'm booked into a Television Title match on Wired! I'd say any fears I had about losing steam have been pretty well alleviated by now. I jumped to a conclusion, and that was a mistake, but no harm has come of it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: And this isn't just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill title match. I'm not competing against just ANYONE, I'm competing against Jarod Poe. And although it pains me to use this word again, since I use it constantly these days, and I do mean CONSTANTLY...I think once again I'm justified. This match with Poe is just an amazing...(pause for emphasis) OPPORTUNITY. On more than one level, even.
(Another inspirational grin from Cannonball)
Cannonball Kidd: Of course, the opportunity to hold the GLCW Television Title is a big one. This is something only a select few have managed to do since GLCW started up. Jarod Poe has been nothing but a fighting champion...he's beaten a lot of guys that I would have put money on if I needed to do that to validate the perceived accuracy of my predictions. He's even managed to take down the only man to hold a victory over me in GLCW, (grumbling) Nemesis. So the opportunity to take down this nigh-unbeatable champion is important, as is the opportunity to hold this prestigious title.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: These are big opportunities. A man who does not know the benefits of self-actualization would consider them to be the biggest ones associated with this match. But as everyone should know by now, I am a self-actualized man, and I realize that the biggest opportunity in this title shot is something different. The biggest opportunity here is the opportunity to get in the ring with Jarod Poe - a man who clearly has more problems than practically anyone else on the GLCW roster. If anyone in GLCW needs my help, it is Jarod Poe.
(Cannonball assumes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Diagnosing Poe is a matter of sheer simplicity. This is a man who is so dissatisfied with his appearance that he must mutilate his body in a myriad of ways in order to feel unique. Poe, what you fail to realize is that in order to be TRULY unique, you must be unique on the INSIDE, not on the outside. True, there are few people who have had implants put under their skin in order to adopt some strange pattern, and there are few people who have given themselves forked tongues. But the concept behind these modifications is the same. You think you're doing something unique, but in reality, you're just putting a few new touches on something that's been done to death, particularly in the wrestling business.
(Inspirational smile #3)
Cannonball Kidd: But it doesn't have to be that way. I can help you, Poe. I'm sure that, somewhere inside that clichè tortured mind of yours, there's some genuine originality that can be expressed in a much more constructive way. And with my proven program for self-actualization, I can help you find that originality, and can get you well on your way to being more than just a freak that many regard as a joke based solely on appearances.
(The camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Now Poe, I know how attached you are to the path you've chosen, and I respect that. I was once very attached to a path once - but that path led to destruction, and stepping off it was the greatest thing I've ever done for myself. Now that I've brought my Message to GLCW, this great thing I have done for myself is a great thing I can do for others. And you, Poe, have the potential to be one of those others. All you have to do is say the words, and I can start helping you today. Because after all, Poe...I'm not a man willing to subject himself to countless body modifications, I am something much more important. I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "I'll Show You" by VonRay)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I'm sure my track record will show that I talk about the various obstacles I must overcome to remain self-actualized a lot. And when I say "a lot," I really do mean a heck of a lot. And while I'm always satisfied with my level of self-actualization, I just wouldn't feel right about taking things for granted. As a result, I'm constantly evaluating my tendencies.
(The camera zooms out to show Cannonball's full face)
Cannonball Kidd: Today's issue? Jumping to conclusions. When I heard I was booked for a grudge match against "Showtime" Steven James at RingLords, I jumped to a conclusion. I mean, up until that point, I was rocketing up the ranks in GLCW, and then suddenly, I dropped back down to where I started, taking on GLCW's designated whipping boy on pay-per-view. It seemed like a pretty bad sign. Of course, I wasn't worried about LOSING to James, and that lack of worry was justified, as I defeated him pretty soundly, and the only problem was that I didn't count on him hiring out a goon to run a hit on me after I'd beaten him fair and square. But the worry was still that I was slipping down the ladder I'd been climbing so rapidly.
(Cannonball grins emphatically)
Cannonball Kidd: And what a waste of time THAT was. Immediately after RingLords, I find myself entered into an eight-man battle royal for a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title against such big names as Michael Manson, Anarky, and the Jobber. And THEN, before that battle royal even takes place, I'm booked into a Television Title match on Wired! I'd say any fears I had about losing steam have been pretty well alleviated by now. I jumped to a conclusion, and that was a mistake, but no harm has come of it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: And this isn't just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill title match. I'm not competing against just ANYONE, I'm competing against Jarod Poe. And although it pains me to use this word again, since I use it constantly these days, and I do mean CONSTANTLY...I think once again I'm justified. This match with Poe is just an amazing...(pause for emphasis) OPPORTUNITY. On more than one level, even.
(Another inspirational grin from Cannonball)
Cannonball Kidd: Of course, the opportunity to hold the GLCW Television Title is a big one. This is something only a select few have managed to do since GLCW started up. Jarod Poe has been nothing but a fighting champion...he's beaten a lot of guys that I would have put money on if I needed to do that to validate the perceived accuracy of my predictions. He's even managed to take down the only man to hold a victory over me in GLCW, (grumbling) Nemesis. So the opportunity to take down this nigh-unbeatable champion is important, as is the opportunity to hold this prestigious title.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: These are big opportunities. A man who does not know the benefits of self-actualization would consider them to be the biggest ones associated with this match. But as everyone should know by now, I am a self-actualized man, and I realize that the biggest opportunity in this title shot is something different. The biggest opportunity here is the opportunity to get in the ring with Jarod Poe - a man who clearly has more problems than practically anyone else on the GLCW roster. If anyone in GLCW needs my help, it is Jarod Poe.
(Cannonball assumes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Diagnosing Poe is a matter of sheer simplicity. This is a man who is so dissatisfied with his appearance that he must mutilate his body in a myriad of ways in order to feel unique. Poe, what you fail to realize is that in order to be TRULY unique, you must be unique on the INSIDE, not on the outside. True, there are few people who have had implants put under their skin in order to adopt some strange pattern, and there are few people who have given themselves forked tongues. But the concept behind these modifications is the same. You think you're doing something unique, but in reality, you're just putting a few new touches on something that's been done to death, particularly in the wrestling business.
(Inspirational smile #3)
Cannonball Kidd: But it doesn't have to be that way. I can help you, Poe. I'm sure that, somewhere inside that clichè tortured mind of yours, there's some genuine originality that can be expressed in a much more constructive way. And with my proven program for self-actualization, I can help you find that originality, and can get you well on your way to being more than just a freak that many regard as a joke based solely on appearances.
(The camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Now Poe, I know how attached you are to the path you've chosen, and I respect that. I was once very attached to a path once - but that path led to destruction, and stepping off it was the greatest thing I've ever done for myself. Now that I've brought my Message to GLCW, this great thing I have done for myself is a great thing I can do for others. And you, Poe, have the potential to be one of those others. All you have to do is say the words, and I can start helping you today. Because after all, Poe...I'm not a man willing to subject himself to countless body modifications, I am something much more important. I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
My own messege
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-19-03 AT 07:25 PM (EST)](The chains threaded through his leather jacket rattle as Jarod Poe steps before the familiar GLCW backdrop. Upon his shoulder rests the Television title now almost becoming common place in his appearence. Under the beaten leather jacket plain white letters reside on a shirt above his well worn jeans that simply spell f**K France. The footsteps from his heavy boots stop as he turns to the camera and his wry smile turns to a sneer. Against the wall rests a steel folding chair and he takes it in his hand as he turns to the camera)
Poe: Man with a message...that's what my opponent tells me. that's what I get. Man with a message. Man with a message I hear from the mouth of a man stuck with a college fratenity name and the second monikier of kid. Man with a message he tells me, but I stare back and ask the same simple question all others must when they look upon him. Man with a message...are you serious? Really are you? Because if your trying to deleiver a message upon me then I assure you...I GREATLY assure you that just like you will be when we meet in the ring....you and your message will be lost.
(Jarod pauses for a moment letting the sarcastic smile rest on his face before he continues)
Poe: You see I call you man with a message for one simple reason. I cannot...hard as I try...keep a straight face when addressing a grown man as Cannonball Kidd. Like someone out of a bad western he stands ready to duel with "The Torture King" Jarod Poe. Only my own amusement hides the fact that I'm ready to to step into the ring an tear you apart. You see the man with a message also has a quest. A great quest...a challenge he needs to rise to the occasion for, because those that have tried before him have been sent home in defeat. They ALL became just one more victim....because I needed one more sacrifice for the beast. And what an impressive list it has been, what great sacrifices I have made, but the man with a message is one his quest is he not...well rest assured my dreams have once more been restless
(Jarod take shis hand and taps the gold belt upon his shoulder. Again he flashes a smile before the sneer returns)
Poe: This is what you want? This is the opportunity you have so greatly desired. This is your chance to go from taking on the whipping boy to having EVERYONE in the back look-up and take notice. This is what you need before anyone will even pay that slighest attention to whatever message you might have to deleiver. You see without that shiny gold trinket to wave in front of thier eyes...well the message falls on deaf ears. {{taps the belt}} This is what you need...this is your pulpit. This is what a man with a message needs. You ask how do I know this? Because I have my own message...just as I said...the beast is hungry and he needs yet one more sacrifice. As chance would have it
(Jaord points to the camera)
Poe: You are that man. For you see as I lay in bed the sweat pouring off my body it appears before me once again. That dark beast with it's blood red eyes...teeth stained the color of souls. There it stands that heavy claw resting upon another man's skull. Although this time the bone is gone and a face still remains. It's the man with a message...this time the beast called out no name. He doesn't want me to have the slighest bit of enjoyment...it just wants to be fed. So there lies the face of the man whom I'll be standing accross the ring of in just a few days. He says he has a message to deleiver onto me. Yet it sounds so similiar..so familair. he says he has a message for me...he says it with so much conviction. Yet it sounds so much like all of the others and I ask this man a very simple question...what good do it do them?
(Jarod pauses almost expecting an answer from the man with a great message. Yet only silience can be heard...there's not even background noise of a song playing for effect)
Poe: Just as I thought. The message is not gospel. It helps me not when I ask for it. No the message only comes forth when this man speakes and what he doesn't know, but will soon find out that I for one do not care to listen. I only have one focus that's getting in the ring with my belt...making this man eat his message and then when all is said and done...well I walk out adorned the same way I stepped in. This man see getting a shot at the TV title as an opportunity. Sorry pal...what it is for you is a night of pure torture and pain. It's a night of unfilled potential and your great hopes crushed is my certain enjoyment. This man wants to help me...wants to deleiver some great wisdom onto me. Well what I have in return is the same success I've been enjoying. Only at the end of the night it's his name added to my legacy as the GLCW TV Champion. right there along Nemesis and I know the thought of this will just make him grumble and groan
(Jarod smiles with a satisfaction, but again it is soon gone and the hateful sneer returns)
Poe: But yet this man tries. He tries as all the others have. In his own ignorance he strikes out at my appearence. His own mind dismissing the possiblity of how I reach a higher power he strikes back with pure ignorance. Well that's fine...he doesn't think I'm unique. Well I care not what he thinks. I have reached a level og exsistance he could not possibly understand. I've turned inner pain into my own special spirtualality and it all ends in his defeat. Go ahead laugh...riducule...crack jokes. Show me your ignorance I hear it everyday. It just fuels my desire for you own painful destruction. There's no avoiding it when all is said and done. In the end I will defeat this man...this man with a message and I will leave the ring STILL the Television Champion. So have I done before...so shall I do again. Yet he winks and still says he's a man with a message. Well I have one in return for him
(Jarod takes a moment to remove his leather jacket. He takes the belt and places around his waist. Turning back to the camera the lights shine off the belt and he winks before speaking)
Poe: You want to help me...go ahead and try. For you see while you try and deleiver it will be you that recieves. You will recive a night a pain and destruction like never before. Look at the others who have come before you...some you even admit where better. What happened to them? They left in defeat. Well there's a message...take that home and think upon it. For no man...no kid...nobody is taking this TV title from me until I decide it leaves. I destroyed the man who made it a joke and I alone have given it even the SLIGHEST value. with out me you have NO oppurtunity. Just a chance to win a worthless piece of tin like I did not long ago. I made a sacrifice out of all of them...to the beast...to wrestling to my own twisted enjoyment. Your next...MAN...let that thought sink in
(Jarod steps forward and stares deeply into the lens. His eyes burn with fury and desire)
Poe: I don't need or want your help. I care less for your message. In fact I spit on it and if that makes you mad then good. Anger leads to blindness. You come...you bring your message you try and convert me to whatever program you might be on. At the end of the night when the match is over and your left with NOTHING, but defeat. Well you'll have gotten my message just as ALL the others have. In your ears will burn simple words that will become truth to ALL that step into the ring with me
(Jarod steps back and in an ominous tone utters the following)
Poe: "HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND FEAR......FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER"
(Jarod turns his back to the camera, retrieves his leather jacket and slowly walks off)
<FTB>
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-19-03 AT 07:25 PM (EST)](The chains threaded through his leather jacket rattle as Jarod Poe steps before the familiar GLCW backdrop. Upon his shoulder rests the Television title now almost becoming common place in his appearence. Under the beaten leather jacket plain white letters reside on a shirt above his well worn jeans that simply spell f**K France. The footsteps from his heavy boots stop as he turns to the camera and his wry smile turns to a sneer. Against the wall rests a steel folding chair and he takes it in his hand as he turns to the camera)
Poe: Man with a message...that's what my opponent tells me. that's what I get. Man with a message. Man with a message I hear from the mouth of a man stuck with a college fratenity name and the second monikier of kid. Man with a message he tells me, but I stare back and ask the same simple question all others must when they look upon him. Man with a message...are you serious? Really are you? Because if your trying to deleiver a message upon me then I assure you...I GREATLY assure you that just like you will be when we meet in the ring....you and your message will be lost.
(Jarod pauses for a moment letting the sarcastic smile rest on his face before he continues)
Poe: You see I call you man with a message for one simple reason. I cannot...hard as I try...keep a straight face when addressing a grown man as Cannonball Kidd. Like someone out of a bad western he stands ready to duel with "The Torture King" Jarod Poe. Only my own amusement hides the fact that I'm ready to to step into the ring an tear you apart. You see the man with a message also has a quest. A great quest...a challenge he needs to rise to the occasion for, because those that have tried before him have been sent home in defeat. They ALL became just one more victim....because I needed one more sacrifice for the beast. And what an impressive list it has been, what great sacrifices I have made, but the man with a message is one his quest is he not...well rest assured my dreams have once more been restless
(Jarod take shis hand and taps the gold belt upon his shoulder. Again he flashes a smile before the sneer returns)
Poe: This is what you want? This is the opportunity you have so greatly desired. This is your chance to go from taking on the whipping boy to having EVERYONE in the back look-up and take notice. This is what you need before anyone will even pay that slighest attention to whatever message you might have to deleiver. You see without that shiny gold trinket to wave in front of thier eyes...well the message falls on deaf ears. {{taps the belt}} This is what you need...this is your pulpit. This is what a man with a message needs. You ask how do I know this? Because I have my own message...just as I said...the beast is hungry and he needs yet one more sacrifice. As chance would have it
(Jaord points to the camera)
Poe: You are that man. For you see as I lay in bed the sweat pouring off my body it appears before me once again. That dark beast with it's blood red eyes...teeth stained the color of souls. There it stands that heavy claw resting upon another man's skull. Although this time the bone is gone and a face still remains. It's the man with a message...this time the beast called out no name. He doesn't want me to have the slighest bit of enjoyment...it just wants to be fed. So there lies the face of the man whom I'll be standing accross the ring of in just a few days. He says he has a message to deleiver onto me. Yet it sounds so similiar..so familair. he says he has a message for me...he says it with so much conviction. Yet it sounds so much like all of the others and I ask this man a very simple question...what good do it do them?
(Jarod pauses almost expecting an answer from the man with a great message. Yet only silience can be heard...there's not even background noise of a song playing for effect)
Poe: Just as I thought. The message is not gospel. It helps me not when I ask for it. No the message only comes forth when this man speakes and what he doesn't know, but will soon find out that I for one do not care to listen. I only have one focus that's getting in the ring with my belt...making this man eat his message and then when all is said and done...well I walk out adorned the same way I stepped in. This man see getting a shot at the TV title as an opportunity. Sorry pal...what it is for you is a night of pure torture and pain. It's a night of unfilled potential and your great hopes crushed is my certain enjoyment. This man wants to help me...wants to deleiver some great wisdom onto me. Well what I have in return is the same success I've been enjoying. Only at the end of the night it's his name added to my legacy as the GLCW TV Champion. right there along Nemesis and I know the thought of this will just make him grumble and groan
(Jarod smiles with a satisfaction, but again it is soon gone and the hateful sneer returns)
Poe: But yet this man tries. He tries as all the others have. In his own ignorance he strikes out at my appearence. His own mind dismissing the possiblity of how I reach a higher power he strikes back with pure ignorance. Well that's fine...he doesn't think I'm unique. Well I care not what he thinks. I have reached a level og exsistance he could not possibly understand. I've turned inner pain into my own special spirtualality and it all ends in his defeat. Go ahead laugh...riducule...crack jokes. Show me your ignorance I hear it everyday. It just fuels my desire for you own painful destruction. There's no avoiding it when all is said and done. In the end I will defeat this man...this man with a message and I will leave the ring STILL the Television Champion. So have I done before...so shall I do again. Yet he winks and still says he's a man with a message. Well I have one in return for him
(Jarod takes a moment to remove his leather jacket. He takes the belt and places around his waist. Turning back to the camera the lights shine off the belt and he winks before speaking)
Poe: You want to help me...go ahead and try. For you see while you try and deleiver it will be you that recieves. You will recive a night a pain and destruction like never before. Look at the others who have come before you...some you even admit where better. What happened to them? They left in defeat. Well there's a message...take that home and think upon it. For no man...no kid...nobody is taking this TV title from me until I decide it leaves. I destroyed the man who made it a joke and I alone have given it even the SLIGHEST value. with out me you have NO oppurtunity. Just a chance to win a worthless piece of tin like I did not long ago. I made a sacrifice out of all of them...to the beast...to wrestling to my own twisted enjoyment. Your next...MAN...let that thought sink in
(Jarod steps forward and stares deeply into the lens. His eyes burn with fury and desire)
Poe: I don't need or want your help. I care less for your message. In fact I spit on it and if that makes you mad then good. Anger leads to blindness. You come...you bring your message you try and convert me to whatever program you might be on. At the end of the night when the match is over and your left with NOTHING, but defeat. Well you'll have gotten my message just as ALL the others have. In your ears will burn simple words that will become truth to ALL that step into the ring with me
(Jarod steps back and in an ominous tone utters the following)
Poe: "HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND FEAR......FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER"
(Jarod turns his back to the camera, retrieves his leather jacket and slowly walks off)
<FTB>
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
It's with an A, you see, not an E
(Cueup: "Breathe" by Greenwheel)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Everyone has regrets, on some level or other. As a self-actualized person, I don't like to refer to them as "regrets," because there's really nothing I regret about my existence. Even my years spent in the crushing grip of addiction to painkillers do not qualify as full-blown regrets in my mind...of course, it was a very unpleasant time, but it helped me become the man I am today, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Even so, though, I occasionally find myself thinking, "Gee, I certainly do regret X."
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: It's not that I really feel sorry about these things I have or haven't done. It's just a minor inconvenience. Nothing to frown about...you just snap your fingers and shrug, and you're done with it. It happens all the time, no matter how much you try to avoid it. As a self-actualized person, then, I don't try to avoid these thoughts. I just let them come, and don't worry about them while they're there, because I know they won't last.
(Cannonball adopts an overly dramatic quizzical look)
Cannonball Kidd: So what brings on this little tidbit? Well, I was watching Jarod Poe's latest promo, and as I struggled to interpret his quasi-sane ramblings, I started to wonder what sorts of mental disorders might be responsible for his behavior. But naturally, if anyone else watching has had the misfortune of having to sit through one of Jarod Poe's promos, his mental problems are little hard to classify, because his behavior could be caused by any number of different disorders. I thought I'd help Jarod out and figure out just what was wrong with him so he could figure out how to fix it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: But wouldn't you know it? I realized that my knowledge of specific psychological disorders is not very developed. I'm pretty good at knowing when I'm looking at someone with psychological problems, but when it comes to actually diagnosing the problem, I'm not much help. I've taken some psych classes, of course, but since my college education was done in accelerated-learning courses due to the fact that it didn't start until I was in my mid-twenties, some of it was lost in the shuffle, I'm afraid.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: I tried to rack my brain, go over all of Poe's visible symptoms and see if anything suddenly clicks. Trouble is, there were a LOT of symptoms. I mean, just off the top of my head here...there's the incoherent rambling about how my Message doesn't make sense, which I won't even address due to its nonsensical nature. There's the regression into childish insult when dealing with my ring name, coming from someone who calls himself "The Torture King" no less. There's the obsession with pain and violence. There's the misinterpretation of many of the things I say. And of course, who can forget the powerful delusions of the hellfire and the brimstone and the "sacrificing me to the beast with teeth the color of souls"? What color IS a soul, anyway?
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: The point is, I can see all these symptoms of some mental disorder, or possibly even several disorders, but I couldn't diagnose just WHAT that disorder is. I admit, I was almost on the verge of frustration. But luckily, MY superior intellectual processes proved useful. Because it occurred to me that, although I'm knowledgable when it comes to advanced psychology, I'm pretty good when it comes to basic levels of psychology. And I realized that Jarod Poe doesn't have any real mental disorder. That's not to say there's any reasonable basis for his outlandish behavior...he's just doing something that I believe is known as malingering.
(Cannonball adops a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, "malingering" technically deals with physical injury and illness, so it's not a PERFECT match - as I said, I'm not the best psychologist. But for my purposes, it means that Poe doesn't have a mental disorder, he just acts like it to achieve some goal - in this case, the goal of appearing evil and dark and mysterious and all that. The unfortunate part of all this is that typically, when a guy like me points this out, the malingerer takes that as a sign that his schpiel is working.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: But luckily, this specific problem is a problem that befalls a lot of people in the wrestling business, so it's something I'm very familiar with. And I'm sure that I can help Jarod Poe if he's willing to accept my help.
(The camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Think about it, Poe! You wouldn't have to get all your material from books on Wicca you've checked out from the library, or bad B-movies, or late-night public-access cable TV! If you just accept my program and let me help you, you can figure out how to get in touch with your true inner Torture King, instead of having to fake everything. You may not think you'll be as successful as your own man as you are with this dark, brooding monster persona, but believe me when I say that succeeding as yourself is infinitely more satisfying than succeeding by living a lie. All you have to do is say the words, Poe, and I can start helping you today. Don't think of me as some sort of aspiring psychologist, though...just think of me as what I am...a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Breathe" by Greenwheel)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Everyone has regrets, on some level or other. As a self-actualized person, I don't like to refer to them as "regrets," because there's really nothing I regret about my existence. Even my years spent in the crushing grip of addiction to painkillers do not qualify as full-blown regrets in my mind...of course, it was a very unpleasant time, but it helped me become the man I am today, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Even so, though, I occasionally find myself thinking, "Gee, I certainly do regret X."
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: It's not that I really feel sorry about these things I have or haven't done. It's just a minor inconvenience. Nothing to frown about...you just snap your fingers and shrug, and you're done with it. It happens all the time, no matter how much you try to avoid it. As a self-actualized person, then, I don't try to avoid these thoughts. I just let them come, and don't worry about them while they're there, because I know they won't last.
(Cannonball adopts an overly dramatic quizzical look)
Cannonball Kidd: So what brings on this little tidbit? Well, I was watching Jarod Poe's latest promo, and as I struggled to interpret his quasi-sane ramblings, I started to wonder what sorts of mental disorders might be responsible for his behavior. But naturally, if anyone else watching has had the misfortune of having to sit through one of Jarod Poe's promos, his mental problems are little hard to classify, because his behavior could be caused by any number of different disorders. I thought I'd help Jarod out and figure out just what was wrong with him so he could figure out how to fix it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: But wouldn't you know it? I realized that my knowledge of specific psychological disorders is not very developed. I'm pretty good at knowing when I'm looking at someone with psychological problems, but when it comes to actually diagnosing the problem, I'm not much help. I've taken some psych classes, of course, but since my college education was done in accelerated-learning courses due to the fact that it didn't start until I was in my mid-twenties, some of it was lost in the shuffle, I'm afraid.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: I tried to rack my brain, go over all of Poe's visible symptoms and see if anything suddenly clicks. Trouble is, there were a LOT of symptoms. I mean, just off the top of my head here...there's the incoherent rambling about how my Message doesn't make sense, which I won't even address due to its nonsensical nature. There's the regression into childish insult when dealing with my ring name, coming from someone who calls himself "The Torture King" no less. There's the obsession with pain and violence. There's the misinterpretation of many of the things I say. And of course, who can forget the powerful delusions of the hellfire and the brimstone and the "sacrificing me to the beast with teeth the color of souls"? What color IS a soul, anyway?
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: The point is, I can see all these symptoms of some mental disorder, or possibly even several disorders, but I couldn't diagnose just WHAT that disorder is. I admit, I was almost on the verge of frustration. But luckily, MY superior intellectual processes proved useful. Because it occurred to me that, although I'm knowledgable when it comes to advanced psychology, I'm pretty good when it comes to basic levels of psychology. And I realized that Jarod Poe doesn't have any real mental disorder. That's not to say there's any reasonable basis for his outlandish behavior...he's just doing something that I believe is known as malingering.
(Cannonball adops a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, "malingering" technically deals with physical injury and illness, so it's not a PERFECT match - as I said, I'm not the best psychologist. But for my purposes, it means that Poe doesn't have a mental disorder, he just acts like it to achieve some goal - in this case, the goal of appearing evil and dark and mysterious and all that. The unfortunate part of all this is that typically, when a guy like me points this out, the malingerer takes that as a sign that his schpiel is working.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: But luckily, this specific problem is a problem that befalls a lot of people in the wrestling business, so it's something I'm very familiar with. And I'm sure that I can help Jarod Poe if he's willing to accept my help.
(The camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Think about it, Poe! You wouldn't have to get all your material from books on Wicca you've checked out from the library, or bad B-movies, or late-night public-access cable TV! If you just accept my program and let me help you, you can figure out how to get in touch with your true inner Torture King, instead of having to fake everything. You may not think you'll be as successful as your own man as you are with this dark, brooding monster persona, but believe me when I say that succeeding as yourself is infinitely more satisfying than succeeding by living a lie. All you have to do is say the words, Poe, and I can start helping you today. Don't think of me as some sort of aspiring psychologist, though...just think of me as what I am...a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
Weakness leads to defeat
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-21-03 AT 11:33 PM (EST)](The location is unknown. As the camera shot peers around a small,but adequate gym is seen filled with all neccessory training equipment. As the circle is completed the camera stops upon a large tv screen. There freeze-framed is a picture of Cannonball Kid goggles and all. Standing to the right stares back the serious eyes of Jarod Poe. Dressed in sneakers and sweat pants his upper body is covered in sweat from his morning workout. As the frame moves in closer you can clearly see the array of tattoos upon his chest. Tribal design outlines the muscle structure, over his heart the faces of a women and two children stare back. Jarod drinks deeply from a bottle of water before he gives the camera a serious glare)
Poe: What does it say about a man who openly admits he's not sure of what he's talking about, but doesn't let that fact stop him in mid-sentence. Does he enjoy looking the fool? Does he hope whoever listens will just fall in line? Does he just do it to waste our time or is it simple he likes the sound of his own voice? Mabe the man has a message of vanity...I'm not sure. I just know it's more of the same tired rant I've heard before. Amazing how you can sit down claim your trying to know a man then get lost in your own explanation. It put's a smile upon my face everytime I hear it. From Manson, from Jobber, from Tact...from nearly all who fell before. It's the same mis-understanding that only lead to defeat. When will it all stop?...perhaps never, but at least for me it's all in the pursuit of victory.
(Jarod takes a moment and uses a towel to wipe the sweat of his upper body. He takes another drink of water and looks back to the camera)
Poe: This is the situation the man with a message finds himself in. Here he is taking a good amount of time to try and study the inner me and the best...the very best he can come up with after racking his puny brain is that I'm malingering...I'm just acting that way. {{laughs outloud}} Oh...how I wish it was true. How I wish the pain and suffering I've dealt with in life were not there. I wish everything could be cotton candy and rainbows. However that's not the way life works...it's not the way it worked of for me. No...my life has shaped the man I've turned out to be. Forced me to feel such a cold numbness in life that only through pain did I truly feel alive. Some of us face our demons...rely on inner strength to conquer the suffering we face...others...well others like my opponent are not so strong. They could not face the challenge of life that I have
(Jarod throws up his arms to reveal the modification under his skin. There a feather pattern of surgical screws lie just underneath the skin. Arms stretched out they look just like wings)
Poe: Does this look like I'm faking? Do you think that this is a special effect? {{shakes his head}} NO...this is PAIN...this is LOVE...this is DEDICATION!!! It's something your mind can't even FATHOM...much less ENDURE!!! You see the man with a message wants to TRY and know me, but he just runs forth more ignorance. He didn't bother to find out I spent five years in service to my country watching good men die for reasons I wasn't always sure of. Killing men I really had no grudge against He doesn't know t for all that I got an award of a murdered family. He doesn't know that the pain of all that left me dead inside and he doesn't know the struggle it took to feel alive again. No...he doesn't know what that's like, because the man with a message openly admits weakness. He calls it regrets, but I call it what it truly is...WEAKNESS!!!
(Jarod drinks more water and the pours the rest over his head. As he turns back to the camera water still drips from his hair)
Poe: Pain Killers...was that your weakness? Was the pain just TOO MUCH? You couldn't handle the PAIN could you...so instead you turned to pills...you turned to weakness...you couldn't face yourself in the morning {{Laughs}} What else did you expect for the sport It tells me almost ALL I need to know about the man with a message...we can rule out anything that deals with STRENGTH!!! You see I could have been in the same place as you, I coudl have been pathetic...sorry for myself...I could have let the pain devour me whole, jumped in a bottle, but instead...something you couldn't do...I ran headlong into it. Sure you'll give me some inspirational speech about how you overcame this weakness, but it doesn't matter. You see the weakness is still there just under the surface and {{snaps his fingers}} just like that you can fall back into it. I wonder...I just wonder...how much pain will it take before you fall headlong into weakness one more time. Maybe it will be the next day after this match. That painful moment when you wake-up in the morning...neck sore from when I nailed you with "Sudden Impact: or maybe just maybe you'll still be dizzy from the effects of "The Fading Light"
(Jarod rubs his hands together almost eager at the thought of so much punishment)
Poe: You see that's what you should be worried about. The hell with some mental problems I might have...HELL I'll admit that I do have some. At least that's what the doctor tells me. You on the other hand...you the man with the message. Well you have a physical problem that stands right before you. Because this match isn't just about me. this match is about the TV Title. It's about me walking in with ALL the glory and you needing it so very bad. Maybe it's to redeem yourself for you past weakness...maybe it's to finally feel you accomplished something before you ride off and dodge your demons again. Maybe just maybe it's a futile attempt like all the others have made, but rest assured in one thing it WILL NOT be easy, because you need to...
(Jarod turns his back, slaps an open hand open his shoulders and then turns back to the camera)
Poe: Pin these shoulders to the mat. That is no easy task as you've openly admitted better men then you have tried and failed. What gives you an edge over him...your message? No I don't think so. No phrase...no suggestion...no positive thinking is going to help you out. I don't care what expression you and the other addicts in your twelve stop program came up with...the only thing that will pry the title from around my waist is purely physical. That's why I'm here...that's why I'm training...that's why I'm busting my ass to be the very best wrestler I can be...in turn what do you do? You sit down and make uneducated guesses about my sanity. Save it...save it and your message. Instead prepare...prepare for the match of your life. Because soon you'll see that I'm not acting...that the man before you is none TOO real...only like all the rest they realized this JUST alittle too late. One more sacrifice...one more victim...one more smiling moment for The Beast. Your already headed upon the right path...I guess pushing you off the cliff will be all THAT MUCH easier
(Jarod let's out a sadistic laugh that echoes across the empty room and against thin hollow walls)
Poe: Now while I have been quite busy I too have studied you. I'm not going to give you my opinion on every stupid thing you said. Instead I'll grant you one small reprive. See I've tried and asked just what the message is your trying to deleiver, but as I thought no answer was giving. Dismiss that all you want, but it just proves my point further. In return, besides your waste of trying psycho-analyze me...well you have asked a few questions. I feel considering all the pain and suffering I plan on deleivering I should show you a small amout of mercy and answer one thing for you. You want to know what color souls are in my dream. Well to be honest they come in a rainbow of colors...it all depends on the man. In your case...it was green...a puke green...with a wide yellow stripe down it's back. {{shrugs and smiles}} Loft...serve and return.
(Jarod again let's loose one more laugh that again bounces from the walls. He pauses a moment and then continues)
Poe: In conclusion...don't help me...help yourself. Get ready for a fight...the fight of your life. For when that bell rings...when it's time for action to start...I will not hold back...I will show no mercy. I will be the unrelenting wrestling machine that made me the champion I am today...I will be non-stop till your shoulders are on the mat and the ref's hand slaps for a third time. I will cause nothing, but pain untill that moment comes. I already know one of weaknesses I can exploit...and given time in our match...I'LL FIND MORE!!! You...you need to prepare...don't over analyze..don't try and understand me. I'm happy being me...I'm happy the TV Champion and I'll be happy being {{points towards the camera}} YOUR Torture King. In the end...you see I'm none to real and you'll know what ALL the others do...
(Jarod steps forward and stares into the camera )
Poe: HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.....AND FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER!!!
(Jarod spits on the floor, turns his back to the camera and walks off)
<FTB>
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-21-03 AT 11:33 PM (EST)](The location is unknown. As the camera shot peers around a small,but adequate gym is seen filled with all neccessory training equipment. As the circle is completed the camera stops upon a large tv screen. There freeze-framed is a picture of Cannonball Kid goggles and all. Standing to the right stares back the serious eyes of Jarod Poe. Dressed in sneakers and sweat pants his upper body is covered in sweat from his morning workout. As the frame moves in closer you can clearly see the array of tattoos upon his chest. Tribal design outlines the muscle structure, over his heart the faces of a women and two children stare back. Jarod drinks deeply from a bottle of water before he gives the camera a serious glare)
Poe: What does it say about a man who openly admits he's not sure of what he's talking about, but doesn't let that fact stop him in mid-sentence. Does he enjoy looking the fool? Does he hope whoever listens will just fall in line? Does he just do it to waste our time or is it simple he likes the sound of his own voice? Mabe the man has a message of vanity...I'm not sure. I just know it's more of the same tired rant I've heard before. Amazing how you can sit down claim your trying to know a man then get lost in your own explanation. It put's a smile upon my face everytime I hear it. From Manson, from Jobber, from Tact...from nearly all who fell before. It's the same mis-understanding that only lead to defeat. When will it all stop?...perhaps never, but at least for me it's all in the pursuit of victory.
(Jarod takes a moment and uses a towel to wipe the sweat of his upper body. He takes another drink of water and looks back to the camera)
Poe: This is the situation the man with a message finds himself in. Here he is taking a good amount of time to try and study the inner me and the best...the very best he can come up with after racking his puny brain is that I'm malingering...I'm just acting that way. {{laughs outloud}} Oh...how I wish it was true. How I wish the pain and suffering I've dealt with in life were not there. I wish everything could be cotton candy and rainbows. However that's not the way life works...it's not the way it worked of for me. No...my life has shaped the man I've turned out to be. Forced me to feel such a cold numbness in life that only through pain did I truly feel alive. Some of us face our demons...rely on inner strength to conquer the suffering we face...others...well others like my opponent are not so strong. They could not face the challenge of life that I have
(Jarod throws up his arms to reveal the modification under his skin. There a feather pattern of surgical screws lie just underneath the skin. Arms stretched out they look just like wings)
Poe: Does this look like I'm faking? Do you think that this is a special effect? {{shakes his head}} NO...this is PAIN...this is LOVE...this is DEDICATION!!! It's something your mind can't even FATHOM...much less ENDURE!!! You see the man with a message wants to TRY and know me, but he just runs forth more ignorance. He didn't bother to find out I spent five years in service to my country watching good men die for reasons I wasn't always sure of. Killing men I really had no grudge against He doesn't know t for all that I got an award of a murdered family. He doesn't know that the pain of all that left me dead inside and he doesn't know the struggle it took to feel alive again. No...he doesn't know what that's like, because the man with a message openly admits weakness. He calls it regrets, but I call it what it truly is...WEAKNESS!!!
(Jarod drinks more water and the pours the rest over his head. As he turns back to the camera water still drips from his hair)
Poe: Pain Killers...was that your weakness? Was the pain just TOO MUCH? You couldn't handle the PAIN could you...so instead you turned to pills...you turned to weakness...you couldn't face yourself in the morning {{Laughs}} What else did you expect for the sport It tells me almost ALL I need to know about the man with a message...we can rule out anything that deals with STRENGTH!!! You see I could have been in the same place as you, I coudl have been pathetic...sorry for myself...I could have let the pain devour me whole, jumped in a bottle, but instead...something you couldn't do...I ran headlong into it. Sure you'll give me some inspirational speech about how you overcame this weakness, but it doesn't matter. You see the weakness is still there just under the surface and {{snaps his fingers}} just like that you can fall back into it. I wonder...I just wonder...how much pain will it take before you fall headlong into weakness one more time. Maybe it will be the next day after this match. That painful moment when you wake-up in the morning...neck sore from when I nailed you with "Sudden Impact: or maybe just maybe you'll still be dizzy from the effects of "The Fading Light"
(Jarod rubs his hands together almost eager at the thought of so much punishment)
Poe: You see that's what you should be worried about. The hell with some mental problems I might have...HELL I'll admit that I do have some. At least that's what the doctor tells me. You on the other hand...you the man with the message. Well you have a physical problem that stands right before you. Because this match isn't just about me. this match is about the TV Title. It's about me walking in with ALL the glory and you needing it so very bad. Maybe it's to redeem yourself for you past weakness...maybe it's to finally feel you accomplished something before you ride off and dodge your demons again. Maybe just maybe it's a futile attempt like all the others have made, but rest assured in one thing it WILL NOT be easy, because you need to...
(Jarod turns his back, slaps an open hand open his shoulders and then turns back to the camera)
Poe: Pin these shoulders to the mat. That is no easy task as you've openly admitted better men then you have tried and failed. What gives you an edge over him...your message? No I don't think so. No phrase...no suggestion...no positive thinking is going to help you out. I don't care what expression you and the other addicts in your twelve stop program came up with...the only thing that will pry the title from around my waist is purely physical. That's why I'm here...that's why I'm training...that's why I'm busting my ass to be the very best wrestler I can be...in turn what do you do? You sit down and make uneducated guesses about my sanity. Save it...save it and your message. Instead prepare...prepare for the match of your life. Because soon you'll see that I'm not acting...that the man before you is none TOO real...only like all the rest they realized this JUST alittle too late. One more sacrifice...one more victim...one more smiling moment for The Beast. Your already headed upon the right path...I guess pushing you off the cliff will be all THAT MUCH easier
(Jarod let's out a sadistic laugh that echoes across the empty room and against thin hollow walls)
Poe: Now while I have been quite busy I too have studied you. I'm not going to give you my opinion on every stupid thing you said. Instead I'll grant you one small reprive. See I've tried and asked just what the message is your trying to deleiver, but as I thought no answer was giving. Dismiss that all you want, but it just proves my point further. In return, besides your waste of trying psycho-analyze me...well you have asked a few questions. I feel considering all the pain and suffering I plan on deleivering I should show you a small amout of mercy and answer one thing for you. You want to know what color souls are in my dream. Well to be honest they come in a rainbow of colors...it all depends on the man. In your case...it was green...a puke green...with a wide yellow stripe down it's back. {{shrugs and smiles}} Loft...serve and return.
(Jarod again let's loose one more laugh that again bounces from the walls. He pauses a moment and then continues)
Poe: In conclusion...don't help me...help yourself. Get ready for a fight...the fight of your life. For when that bell rings...when it's time for action to start...I will not hold back...I will show no mercy. I will be the unrelenting wrestling machine that made me the champion I am today...I will be non-stop till your shoulders are on the mat and the ref's hand slaps for a third time. I will cause nothing, but pain untill that moment comes. I already know one of weaknesses I can exploit...and given time in our match...I'LL FIND MORE!!! You...you need to prepare...don't over analyze..don't try and understand me. I'm happy being me...I'm happy the TV Champion and I'll be happy being {{points towards the camera}} YOUR Torture King. In the end...you see I'm none to real and you'll know what ALL the others do...
(Jarod steps forward and stares into the camera )
Poe: HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.....AND FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER!!!
(Jarod spits on the floor, turns his back to the camera and walks off)
<FTB>
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
Perhaps perhaps but...
(Cueup: "Danger! High Voltage!" by the Electric Six featuring Jack White of the White Stripes)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: There are a lot of things that can make a wrestling match "good." From a fan's perspective, it can mean that the match is very technically sound; it could mean that the match is very exciting and full of death-defying maneuvers; and sometimes, it just means that the rivalry between the two competitors is so strong that just seeing how it plays out makes the match good. From a wrestler's perspective, it could mean a resounding victory, it could mean a great match that makes the fans take notice, it could mean a match that marks a transition in that person's career. But sometimes, a match is good for a less common reason.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: I think I'll go on record right now and point out that my match with Jarod Poe will be "good." That's not a prediction, mind you; it's simple fact. Now, from the perspective of the fan, it could still go either way; it might be an exciting match, and I might just mop the floor with him, I don't know yet. But it will certainly be "good" from my perspective. It already is. Regardless of the outcome of the match, nothing can change the fact that this little pre-match war of words I've been having with Poe has been a great experience for me. All too often lately, my opponents have just churned out catch-phrase after catch-phrase and have essentially said the same things over and over in every promo they do. Not that Poe doesn't have a tendency to repeat himself a lot, of course, it's just that his style causes me to do some very constructive thinking almost every time I come out to retort.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: The first time I spoke on this match, I gave a commentary on jumping to conclusions. The second time, I talked about regret. And today, I'm going to be talking about uncertainty. You may be thinking, "Uncertainty? Surely a self-actualized person need not worry about uncertainty!" But such a statement would be wrong. Uncertainty is something that happens to most people, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure Jarod Poe will likely claim HE never has problems with uncertainty, but that's probably because he's not bright enough to do anything but the first thing that pops into his head. I'll get into that a little more shortly, but first I'd like to explain why I've chosen uncertainty as my topic today.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, when I do promos, one thing I generally avoid doing is correcting things I've said that my opponent has misinterpreted. This is done in the interest of time; it is typical for my opponents to misunderstand frequently, and I try not to force them to understand, since I believe they must figure these things out on their own if they have any hope of benefiting from my program. Self-actualization can't be forced down someone's throat, after all; much like hypnotism, it can have profoundly good effects, but only if the participant is willing to accept it. And often, I have more important things to talk about than my opponent's poor grasp on my subject matter. But with Poe, things are different.
(Cannonball puts both hands out in front of him, in a "STOP!" gesture)
Cannonball Kidd: Jarod Poe isn't like most opponents, who don't bring up one of my points after they've already misinterpreted it once, in the interest of appearing a bit wiser than they actually are. But Poe doesn't let that stop him. Not only does he continue to change the context of everything I say into something he likes, but he goes into so much detail about it that, if I weren't an intelligent and self-actualized person, I might actually be inclined to believe him. And therein, of course, lies the problem. How can I respond to a man whose biggest weapon is misinterpretation when I try to avoid addressing misinterpretations? An interesting dilemma indeed. Do I risk sacrificing content to keep my principles? Or do I defy my principles in order to increase the substance of my promos?
(Cannonball appears to think for a moment, then raises a finger as though a proverbial light bulb has just appeared above his head)
Cannonball Kidd: The solution is simple. I won't directly address Poe's many misinterpretations. I won't even name them. But what I will do is address a point that was the eventual result of a string of misinterpretations. You see, Poe, the main topic of your latest promo was weakness. You claimed that you knew MY weakness, and cited the weakness I overcame on my route to becoming self-actualized. But of course, once one becomes self-actualized, one can't really become UN-self-actualized, so immediately your point becomes invalid. You also tried to use your unfortunate past and assorted bodily mutilations as evidence of your superiority, but I've already explained that your mutilations are the result of your fear of not being unique, and your terrible past has apparently left you with nothing but posttraumatic stress syndrome.
(Cannonball looks at his wrist as though checking his watch, although he isn't wearing a watch)
Cannonball Kidd: So as we see here, I've managed to easily refute your main point in a minimal amount of time. You may think I'm trying to somehow MOCK you, Poe, but that simply isn't the case. I'm merely trying to make you more aware of your faults, so that you can better correct them when the time comes to re-evaluate your life, which I hope will be soon. It is my hope that, by listening to me, you will realize that your method of strategic misinterpretation and intimidation will only get you so far. I can see how your style can intimidate weaker-minded opponents easily, thus making them less fit competition. But since I won't be intimidated by you, this match will force you to think differently - be it before or after I beat you. And as a result, I think you will figure out that, while sometimes useful, words are an overrated commodity unless you know how to use them...which unfortunately most competitors in GLCW do not.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Like many others, Poe, you doubt my program. You assume that just because I can't explain it all in one shot, I must be making it up. But I maintain my stance that presenting all the information to you at once would simply confuse you. And I hope that the first few hints I've given you will serve as some proof that my program works, if you are only willing to try them. Like it or not, Poe, I am capable of helping you. And if you'll only say the words, I can start doing so today, turning you into less of a thoughtless, brooding monster and more into the kind of person that you, deep down, would like to be. You seem to think I'm weak, Poe, but you couldn't be more wrong. I'm no weakling...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Danger! High Voltage!" by the Electric Six featuring Jack White of the White Stripes)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: There are a lot of things that can make a wrestling match "good." From a fan's perspective, it can mean that the match is very technically sound; it could mean that the match is very exciting and full of death-defying maneuvers; and sometimes, it just means that the rivalry between the two competitors is so strong that just seeing how it plays out makes the match good. From a wrestler's perspective, it could mean a resounding victory, it could mean a great match that makes the fans take notice, it could mean a match that marks a transition in that person's career. But sometimes, a match is good for a less common reason.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: I think I'll go on record right now and point out that my match with Jarod Poe will be "good." That's not a prediction, mind you; it's simple fact. Now, from the perspective of the fan, it could still go either way; it might be an exciting match, and I might just mop the floor with him, I don't know yet. But it will certainly be "good" from my perspective. It already is. Regardless of the outcome of the match, nothing can change the fact that this little pre-match war of words I've been having with Poe has been a great experience for me. All too often lately, my opponents have just churned out catch-phrase after catch-phrase and have essentially said the same things over and over in every promo they do. Not that Poe doesn't have a tendency to repeat himself a lot, of course, it's just that his style causes me to do some very constructive thinking almost every time I come out to retort.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: The first time I spoke on this match, I gave a commentary on jumping to conclusions. The second time, I talked about regret. And today, I'm going to be talking about uncertainty. You may be thinking, "Uncertainty? Surely a self-actualized person need not worry about uncertainty!" But such a statement would be wrong. Uncertainty is something that happens to most people, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure Jarod Poe will likely claim HE never has problems with uncertainty, but that's probably because he's not bright enough to do anything but the first thing that pops into his head. I'll get into that a little more shortly, but first I'd like to explain why I've chosen uncertainty as my topic today.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, when I do promos, one thing I generally avoid doing is correcting things I've said that my opponent has misinterpreted. This is done in the interest of time; it is typical for my opponents to misunderstand frequently, and I try not to force them to understand, since I believe they must figure these things out on their own if they have any hope of benefiting from my program. Self-actualization can't be forced down someone's throat, after all; much like hypnotism, it can have profoundly good effects, but only if the participant is willing to accept it. And often, I have more important things to talk about than my opponent's poor grasp on my subject matter. But with Poe, things are different.
(Cannonball puts both hands out in front of him, in a "STOP!" gesture)
Cannonball Kidd: Jarod Poe isn't like most opponents, who don't bring up one of my points after they've already misinterpreted it once, in the interest of appearing a bit wiser than they actually are. But Poe doesn't let that stop him. Not only does he continue to change the context of everything I say into something he likes, but he goes into so much detail about it that, if I weren't an intelligent and self-actualized person, I might actually be inclined to believe him. And therein, of course, lies the problem. How can I respond to a man whose biggest weapon is misinterpretation when I try to avoid addressing misinterpretations? An interesting dilemma indeed. Do I risk sacrificing content to keep my principles? Or do I defy my principles in order to increase the substance of my promos?
(Cannonball appears to think for a moment, then raises a finger as though a proverbial light bulb has just appeared above his head)
Cannonball Kidd: The solution is simple. I won't directly address Poe's many misinterpretations. I won't even name them. But what I will do is address a point that was the eventual result of a string of misinterpretations. You see, Poe, the main topic of your latest promo was weakness. You claimed that you knew MY weakness, and cited the weakness I overcame on my route to becoming self-actualized. But of course, once one becomes self-actualized, one can't really become UN-self-actualized, so immediately your point becomes invalid. You also tried to use your unfortunate past and assorted bodily mutilations as evidence of your superiority, but I've already explained that your mutilations are the result of your fear of not being unique, and your terrible past has apparently left you with nothing but posttraumatic stress syndrome.
(Cannonball looks at his wrist as though checking his watch, although he isn't wearing a watch)
Cannonball Kidd: So as we see here, I've managed to easily refute your main point in a minimal amount of time. You may think I'm trying to somehow MOCK you, Poe, but that simply isn't the case. I'm merely trying to make you more aware of your faults, so that you can better correct them when the time comes to re-evaluate your life, which I hope will be soon. It is my hope that, by listening to me, you will realize that your method of strategic misinterpretation and intimidation will only get you so far. I can see how your style can intimidate weaker-minded opponents easily, thus making them less fit competition. But since I won't be intimidated by you, this match will force you to think differently - be it before or after I beat you. And as a result, I think you will figure out that, while sometimes useful, words are an overrated commodity unless you know how to use them...which unfortunately most competitors in GLCW do not.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Like many others, Poe, you doubt my program. You assume that just because I can't explain it all in one shot, I must be making it up. But I maintain my stance that presenting all the information to you at once would simply confuse you. And I hope that the first few hints I've given you will serve as some proof that my program works, if you are only willing to try them. Like it or not, Poe, I am capable of helping you. And if you'll only say the words, I can start doing so today, turning you into less of a thoughtless, brooding monster and more into the kind of person that you, deep down, would like to be. You seem to think I'm weak, Poe, but you couldn't be more wrong. I'm no weakling...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
Akron Bound
(The offical start of summer was some days ago, Yet a busy schedule has kept him from doing an important task. Just before winter he sat late at night in the cold of the building putting his classic Indian ip for the winter. Now he sits there just after sun-up removing the taro and letting the light hit black metal and seemingly making the machine come to life. He's dressed casual, t-shirt, jeans, riding boots. With a cloth he lovingly wipes any dust of the cycle and slowly rolls it into the ehat of the day. Sitting down next to it on an old woooden stool in smiles and looks into the camera)
Poe: One really must be careful. Out there in the world are so many types of people. Some honest...some righteous...some good, some bad and alot...more then most are just full of themselves. I'm not really sure wich one of them I am. I really don't care. I leave that up to people like my opponent. Someone who feels he must label people in order to not just understand them, but weigh his own self-worth in the grand scheme of things. Hey if that's what it takes to get you through the day...then do it. all I know is when I get up in the morning...at least right now, unlike in the past...well I'm a happy man. I don't know if I can say that for the man with a message. I don't know if he's happy. I'm sure he wasn't too long ago...stuck with hie terrible weakness. Captured in the endless bottom of a pill bottle or addicted to the juice of a needle. Who knows what his poison fo choice was, but weakness lead him to it.
(Jarod takes a moment and pours gas into the tank of his bike. He wipes a few small frops from around the top and screws the gas cap back on)
Poe: But hey he's Self-Actualized now. Sometihng he constantly tells not just me, but himself. He's a man with a message and he wants to help me {{laughs}} Wants to help me? Look pal I don't need help from a man who can't admit what he is. Look you were an addict and once you are...well you always are. Your just one bad decision away from being there again. One pill...one injection and yes The man does become Un-Self-Actualized. Ah, but that will never happen. Not as long as yuo avoid the subject. Just tell anyone that will listen ehatever I say is just misinturptation. It's all confusion...it's not what I am. Yet at the same time don't admit you made the same mistakes when judging me. the message grows old...it quickly becomes stale and no matter how many times to try in say it over and over...well I just don't care. You call it my silly ignorance...your wrong on that...call it my bored to deathness...and well nail on proverbal head. When you look in that mirrior in the morning...your still the same man you once were.. Well all are are. The past never really is until your dead and gone. Something can always come back in bite you...I wonder if your demons will as well. Or...or will you avoid them with the same mantra I've already grown tired of. I never understood why people wanted to smack around al those people at the airport wanting to hand you a pamphlet for one thing or another...I'm now slowly beginning to understand.
(Jarod pauses once more to refill his oil and with just as much care wipes any drops from around the edge before replacing the cap. He then turns back tot he camera)
Poe: You've chosen your mantra well...because it's utter annoyance to me fits are profession to a tee. that's why I'm looking forward to our match. I grow tired of stupid hype and a war of words. Iam trained deep down to be a man of action. To look deep into a man's eyes...studying his movement..find a weakness and explot it. I said I found ONE in you...not just your only weakness.I'm sure there are plenty more jusy under that this surface of babble you hide behind. With any luck though you are what you say...a one and true believer...a self-actualized man. with that I hope you take this match and apply your beleifs to the max. After all a man's beliefs are nothing if they don't lead him to success. Haven't had much of that now have you...lost to Nemesis...don't have that World Title shot. Tell me...did you use your program upon them and how far did your message get you? Well I'll tell you were it's lead you now...It's lead you right onto my doorstep and much like those bible thumpers you should be prepared to have the door slammed in your face.
(Jarod removes the last spark plug from it's housing and wipes it clean he tightens it back into place and places the wrench back in his pocket)
Poe: See I'm growing tired of you deductions of me. Sure you'll claim that I'm finally starting to succumb to your prgram, but that could be further from the truth. See I detest a sermon and I hate speeches. So far that's all I've gotten from you. Well with the small exception of a few words...when...you actually talked about the one and only thing that matters not just to me, but all the people watching. That's the match...yes the match. You know the moment that's not about youreself...or your message or whatever new age wisdom you have for me. I'm talking about the match. That moment when you...just like all the others fall in defeat. See while we've heard alot about your message I fail to see the one thing that will physically help you defeat me. Sure you'll cliam that your self-actualized mind gives you all the advantage in the world, but Steven James isn't the best evidence to the contrary. No...forget the massage...whet you need to prepare for is the challenge. The challenge of your career. I'm the TV Champion...I'm the best one the GLCW has seen. I've defeated men not with words...not with a mesage..I defeated the with superior physical ability and I shall do the same with you.
(Jarod stradles the machiine and rocks it back in forth upon the pavement. It feels good and too his satisfaction. All is ready to go)
Poe: See that's what I am...a superior wrestler...trained by the best to be the best. Beyond that my threshold of pain seperates me even further from men who would challenge me. I'm willing to cross my own limatations in embrace tat difficulty. To take the struggle my opponent gives me and turn it all agaist him. I smother...I stretch...I push till blood is spilt and bones are ready to break, That's why I'm the "Torture King" and that's while I'll be yours when the match is done. Your here to deliever a message...to transfer me to your path of rightouesness. I...I on the other hand want to mow you down with a simple path of rage and violence. That's a beautiful thing for me...it's a lucious moment. You go ahead and strive for your perfect moment of zen. That time when you can point out your better then all the rest at least in your mind. I...I'll still be the same happy man, I'll just be standing behind you when you look in the mirrior holding the sign that say's "I just kicked your ass" Hey what's good for the goose doesn't matter to the gander sometimes. That brings us tot he next morning...doesn't it
(Jarod smiles at the camera as he slides the key into the bikes ignition. He turns it to the side and the machine is ready to go)
Poe: That's brings us to the next morning when you awake to the They'll be that terrible feeling of defeat {{Shrugs}} Ah, but you've felt that before. Judging by your attitude...well yuo acept it easily. I'm not the same way. Then of course then there will be the pain. That terrible pain that is the price you pay for our business. We put our bodies on the line night after night and we pay a price. You have your past weakness though and don't lie to all of us one more time and say that the monster doesn't say hi everytime you feel it. It's there...it's always there. You've got your comfort zone...Like a good dominatrix you've got your safety word...your after all a Self-Actualized man. Well maybe you'll be one when your next match rolls around...maybe just maybe you'll be all numb from addiction once more. All I know and I I care is that your shoulders are pinned to the mat and I still ahve the TV Title. It's what I do...it's who I am. You can't change me...you can't fight it.. Not succesfully...they don't have a program for what I do best. I wrestle...I punish people for a living...it's a good living and when I look in the mirrior in the morning...I've got no catch-phrase to tell myself...I've just got my success to prove it was all worth it.
(He puts up the kickstand and sits upon the bike balancing it with his legs)
Poe: You'll see in the end that I don't want your message...I don't want your program...all I want is your name. Your name to add to the list. You've been selected to be added to a legacy...you can get your name put right up there with other {{smirks}} good wrestlers I have defeated...Blazer...Tact...Jobber...Stephan Morgan and yes {{smiles}} Even your good pal Nemesis. YPu'll have you name put right up there with them and you'll have me to thank. Why Dr. Maslow himself would say I'm being quite generous fopr giving you that. You do know who that is? Because I would hate to think that all this big talk of yours is more then just a bad song by Warrant. I would hope that it has substance...that it has meaning...that's it just not a simple excuse as why you come off sounding like an ass
(The camera pulls in closer to Jarod and his voice takes on a much more serious and graver tone. His eyes narrow and peer towards the camera)
Poe: You think your bnetter then me...well good news is you get a chance to prove it. In just a few shiort day will be standing in that ring and all you've said will just be that. I hope your program prepares you better then it has, because I see no world title you can put up for grabs. Plus Nemesis told me just how difficult you were in that ring {{smiles}} I suggest you get ready...I suggest you be at the top of your game. For soon...very soon the message will come to pass and ALL {{points to the camera}} including you will know what I say is true...HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...AND FEAR...FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER!!!
(Jarod starts the engine to his cycle and it roars to life. It let's the force of the bike flow through his body...feeling at one with the machine. Moments later the engine screams outloud and all that is left behind is smoke and dust)
<FTB>
(The offical start of summer was some days ago, Yet a busy schedule has kept him from doing an important task. Just before winter he sat late at night in the cold of the building putting his classic Indian ip for the winter. Now he sits there just after sun-up removing the taro and letting the light hit black metal and seemingly making the machine come to life. He's dressed casual, t-shirt, jeans, riding boots. With a cloth he lovingly wipes any dust of the cycle and slowly rolls it into the ehat of the day. Sitting down next to it on an old woooden stool in smiles and looks into the camera)
Poe: One really must be careful. Out there in the world are so many types of people. Some honest...some righteous...some good, some bad and alot...more then most are just full of themselves. I'm not really sure wich one of them I am. I really don't care. I leave that up to people like my opponent. Someone who feels he must label people in order to not just understand them, but weigh his own self-worth in the grand scheme of things. Hey if that's what it takes to get you through the day...then do it. all I know is when I get up in the morning...at least right now, unlike in the past...well I'm a happy man. I don't know if I can say that for the man with a message. I don't know if he's happy. I'm sure he wasn't too long ago...stuck with hie terrible weakness. Captured in the endless bottom of a pill bottle or addicted to the juice of a needle. Who knows what his poison fo choice was, but weakness lead him to it.
(Jarod takes a moment and pours gas into the tank of his bike. He wipes a few small frops from around the top and screws the gas cap back on)
Poe: But hey he's Self-Actualized now. Sometihng he constantly tells not just me, but himself. He's a man with a message and he wants to help me {{laughs}} Wants to help me? Look pal I don't need help from a man who can't admit what he is. Look you were an addict and once you are...well you always are. Your just one bad decision away from being there again. One pill...one injection and yes The man does become Un-Self-Actualized. Ah, but that will never happen. Not as long as yuo avoid the subject. Just tell anyone that will listen ehatever I say is just misinturptation. It's all confusion...it's not what I am. Yet at the same time don't admit you made the same mistakes when judging me. the message grows old...it quickly becomes stale and no matter how many times to try in say it over and over...well I just don't care. You call it my silly ignorance...your wrong on that...call it my bored to deathness...and well nail on proverbal head. When you look in that mirrior in the morning...your still the same man you once were.. Well all are are. The past never really is until your dead and gone. Something can always come back in bite you...I wonder if your demons will as well. Or...or will you avoid them with the same mantra I've already grown tired of. I never understood why people wanted to smack around al those people at the airport wanting to hand you a pamphlet for one thing or another...I'm now slowly beginning to understand.
(Jarod pauses once more to refill his oil and with just as much care wipes any drops from around the edge before replacing the cap. He then turns back tot he camera)
Poe: You've chosen your mantra well...because it's utter annoyance to me fits are profession to a tee. that's why I'm looking forward to our match. I grow tired of stupid hype and a war of words. Iam trained deep down to be a man of action. To look deep into a man's eyes...studying his movement..find a weakness and explot it. I said I found ONE in you...not just your only weakness.I'm sure there are plenty more jusy under that this surface of babble you hide behind. With any luck though you are what you say...a one and true believer...a self-actualized man. with that I hope you take this match and apply your beleifs to the max. After all a man's beliefs are nothing if they don't lead him to success. Haven't had much of that now have you...lost to Nemesis...don't have that World Title shot. Tell me...did you use your program upon them and how far did your message get you? Well I'll tell you were it's lead you now...It's lead you right onto my doorstep and much like those bible thumpers you should be prepared to have the door slammed in your face.
(Jarod removes the last spark plug from it's housing and wipes it clean he tightens it back into place and places the wrench back in his pocket)
Poe: See I'm growing tired of you deductions of me. Sure you'll claim that I'm finally starting to succumb to your prgram, but that could be further from the truth. See I detest a sermon and I hate speeches. So far that's all I've gotten from you. Well with the small exception of a few words...when...you actually talked about the one and only thing that matters not just to me, but all the people watching. That's the match...yes the match. You know the moment that's not about youreself...or your message or whatever new age wisdom you have for me. I'm talking about the match. That moment when you...just like all the others fall in defeat. See while we've heard alot about your message I fail to see the one thing that will physically help you defeat me. Sure you'll cliam that your self-actualized mind gives you all the advantage in the world, but Steven James isn't the best evidence to the contrary. No...forget the massage...whet you need to prepare for is the challenge. The challenge of your career. I'm the TV Champion...I'm the best one the GLCW has seen. I've defeated men not with words...not with a mesage..I defeated the with superior physical ability and I shall do the same with you.
(Jarod stradles the machiine and rocks it back in forth upon the pavement. It feels good and too his satisfaction. All is ready to go)
Poe: See that's what I am...a superior wrestler...trained by the best to be the best. Beyond that my threshold of pain seperates me even further from men who would challenge me. I'm willing to cross my own limatations in embrace tat difficulty. To take the struggle my opponent gives me and turn it all agaist him. I smother...I stretch...I push till blood is spilt and bones are ready to break, That's why I'm the "Torture King" and that's while I'll be yours when the match is done. Your here to deliever a message...to transfer me to your path of rightouesness. I...I on the other hand want to mow you down with a simple path of rage and violence. That's a beautiful thing for me...it's a lucious moment. You go ahead and strive for your perfect moment of zen. That time when you can point out your better then all the rest at least in your mind. I...I'll still be the same happy man, I'll just be standing behind you when you look in the mirrior holding the sign that say's "I just kicked your ass" Hey what's good for the goose doesn't matter to the gander sometimes. That brings us tot he next morning...doesn't it
(Jarod smiles at the camera as he slides the key into the bikes ignition. He turns it to the side and the machine is ready to go)
Poe: That's brings us to the next morning when you awake to the They'll be that terrible feeling of defeat {{Shrugs}} Ah, but you've felt that before. Judging by your attitude...well yuo acept it easily. I'm not the same way. Then of course then there will be the pain. That terrible pain that is the price you pay for our business. We put our bodies on the line night after night and we pay a price. You have your past weakness though and don't lie to all of us one more time and say that the monster doesn't say hi everytime you feel it. It's there...it's always there. You've got your comfort zone...Like a good dominatrix you've got your safety word...your after all a Self-Actualized man. Well maybe you'll be one when your next match rolls around...maybe just maybe you'll be all numb from addiction once more. All I know and I I care is that your shoulders are pinned to the mat and I still ahve the TV Title. It's what I do...it's who I am. You can't change me...you can't fight it.. Not succesfully...they don't have a program for what I do best. I wrestle...I punish people for a living...it's a good living and when I look in the mirrior in the morning...I've got no catch-phrase to tell myself...I've just got my success to prove it was all worth it.
(He puts up the kickstand and sits upon the bike balancing it with his legs)
Poe: You'll see in the end that I don't want your message...I don't want your program...all I want is your name. Your name to add to the list. You've been selected to be added to a legacy...you can get your name put right up there with other {{smirks}} good wrestlers I have defeated...Blazer...Tact...Jobber...Stephan Morgan and yes {{smiles}} Even your good pal Nemesis. YPu'll have you name put right up there with them and you'll have me to thank. Why Dr. Maslow himself would say I'm being quite generous fopr giving you that. You do know who that is? Because I would hate to think that all this big talk of yours is more then just a bad song by Warrant. I would hope that it has substance...that it has meaning...that's it just not a simple excuse as why you come off sounding like an ass
(The camera pulls in closer to Jarod and his voice takes on a much more serious and graver tone. His eyes narrow and peer towards the camera)
Poe: You think your bnetter then me...well good news is you get a chance to prove it. In just a few shiort day will be standing in that ring and all you've said will just be that. I hope your program prepares you better then it has, because I see no world title you can put up for grabs. Plus Nemesis told me just how difficult you were in that ring {{smiles}} I suggest you get ready...I suggest you be at the top of your game. For soon...very soon the message will come to pass and ALL {{points to the camera}} including you will know what I say is true...HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...AND FEAR...FEAR WHAT YOU CAN'T CONQUER!!!
(Jarod starts the engine to his cycle and it roars to life. It let's the force of the bike flow through his body...feeling at one with the machine. Moments later the engine screams outloud and all that is left behind is smoke and dust)
<FTB>
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
The A word, no no not Akron
(Cueup: "Feel" by Matchbox Twenty)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: It's really never my intent to shock. In this business, a lot of people make names for themselves via shock. Be it by acts of hideous taste, the sort of thing you might see from the M.W. Grossards of the world, or by acts of excessive violence, the sort of thing you might see from the Golems of the world. I'm sure my Wired opponent, Mr. Poe, would like to be included in that second group. Should he be? That's subject to question. But it's not what I'm going to be questioning today.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: No, the reason I brought up the topic of shock is because I'm going to do something that might - just MIGHT - shock Jarod Poe a little bit. I'm not going to do something crazy, like explain in detail why he continually gets my Message all wrong, of course. But Mr. Poe seems to be accustomed - much as I might be, in his shoes - to my always talking about the little challenges I face in my daily self-actualized life. And today, my topic is going to be different. Of course, to TRULY spread my message, I might have to, y'know, MENTION the self-actualization once or twice. But since Jarod Poe seems to look past the meaning of everything I say and just take potshots at my Message because he doesn't understand it, I'm interested in seeing how he'll react to my taking a slightly different route.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: Now before you go getting a big head, Poe, don't think you've changed me - I don't always talk about myself. I'm just out to prove you wrong a few more times. Just keep in mind, my concern is genuine - I'm not trying to degrade you, I'm just trying to get you to understand the meaning of my Message and the benefits of my program. And of course, if at first you don't succeed...try, try again. Sometimes clichès really can be effective if used in the right context.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: The topic at hand, Mr. Poe, is accusation. I must admit that your brand of psychological warfare can be rather tricky at times. Instead of limiting yourself to retorts and catch-phrases, you seem inclined to go on the offensive, taking it right to your opponent. And yet at the same time, your general inability to interpret anything correctly makes it appear as though you take a defensive stance. I can see how most people would be tripped up by that. Convince them to let down their defenses, then let them have it. It's a good strategy, Poe. One I've seen used many times, often with very successful results. The opponent must raise his defenses quickly and without time for proper preparation, resulting in a lackluster defense.
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: You've accused me of so many things since our match was announced. In just your last promo, in fact, you accused me of being boring, weak, full of myself, annoying, preachy, inferior...you even said I was still an addict. Make me question myself...is that your game, Poe? Confuse me? Make me a little bit uncertain? All very good tries. Your psychological intimidation is effective, Poe. I've seen it work on your other opponents. For a guy who's so phyiscally intimidating - by which I mean "creepy" - your psychological intimidation is surprising prevalent in your behavior.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: But oh, Mr. Poe. You just haven't grasped it yet. I'm on to you. I know your game, and while your psychological offense is strong, my self-actualized mental acumen is stronger. Because I realize the strength that lies in the mental conditioning that goes on before a match, while you still rave about your "superior physical ability." In our sport, perhaps more so than in any other sport, the psychological pre-match is what makes the match. Physical ability plays a role, of course, but if you go in expecting to win on that alone, you'll never succeed. You call yourself a "man of action," Poe, but you are just as much a man of words as anyone else in this business. It's just that, like many others, you fail to realize the extent to which you ARE a man of words.
(Cannonball strikes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: I hope, I hope, I hope I've not led you too far astray of my Message, Poe. I'm not trying to break you down mentally - that would be far too cruel an action for a self-actualized man such as myself. But with each attempt to help you that you reject, I must change my methods and resort to a new measure. I'm not likely to run low on new methods anytime in the near future, of course - when I was developing my program, I knew that I would have to have a wide variety of methods of introduction. But I think, Poe, that since you have built yourself up so much in your mind as a superior physical specimen, that in order to get my Message across to you, I must beat you on the battlefield you hold in the highest regard - in the ring. Obviously I was planning on doing that anyway regardless of whether you were to accept my program, but now I find it may be an integral part of it.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: My only hope is that you will not be so bitter after I beat you that you refuse to listen to what I have to say. But I think, Poe, that deep down, underneath that thick layer of self-delusion and mental disorders, there's a part of you that is willing to listen to reason, and maybe after I beat you and take your beloved Television Title from around your waist, you'll do just that. As I said, Poe, you claim to be a "man of action." But I think that, in order to get you to accept my program and let me help you get on the path to becoming self-actualized, at Wired, I will have to show just exactly WHAT a "man of action" looks like. Just remember, Poe...even after I beat you, don't think of me as a "man of action." Think of me as a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Feel" by Matchbox Twenty)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: It's really never my intent to shock. In this business, a lot of people make names for themselves via shock. Be it by acts of hideous taste, the sort of thing you might see from the M.W. Grossards of the world, or by acts of excessive violence, the sort of thing you might see from the Golems of the world. I'm sure my Wired opponent, Mr. Poe, would like to be included in that second group. Should he be? That's subject to question. But it's not what I'm going to be questioning today.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: No, the reason I brought up the topic of shock is because I'm going to do something that might - just MIGHT - shock Jarod Poe a little bit. I'm not going to do something crazy, like explain in detail why he continually gets my Message all wrong, of course. But Mr. Poe seems to be accustomed - much as I might be, in his shoes - to my always talking about the little challenges I face in my daily self-actualized life. And today, my topic is going to be different. Of course, to TRULY spread my message, I might have to, y'know, MENTION the self-actualization once or twice. But since Jarod Poe seems to look past the meaning of everything I say and just take potshots at my Message because he doesn't understand it, I'm interested in seeing how he'll react to my taking a slightly different route.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: Now before you go getting a big head, Poe, don't think you've changed me - I don't always talk about myself. I'm just out to prove you wrong a few more times. Just keep in mind, my concern is genuine - I'm not trying to degrade you, I'm just trying to get you to understand the meaning of my Message and the benefits of my program. And of course, if at first you don't succeed...try, try again. Sometimes clichès really can be effective if used in the right context.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: The topic at hand, Mr. Poe, is accusation. I must admit that your brand of psychological warfare can be rather tricky at times. Instead of limiting yourself to retorts and catch-phrases, you seem inclined to go on the offensive, taking it right to your opponent. And yet at the same time, your general inability to interpret anything correctly makes it appear as though you take a defensive stance. I can see how most people would be tripped up by that. Convince them to let down their defenses, then let them have it. It's a good strategy, Poe. One I've seen used many times, often with very successful results. The opponent must raise his defenses quickly and without time for proper preparation, resulting in a lackluster defense.
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: You've accused me of so many things since our match was announced. In just your last promo, in fact, you accused me of being boring, weak, full of myself, annoying, preachy, inferior...you even said I was still an addict. Make me question myself...is that your game, Poe? Confuse me? Make me a little bit uncertain? All very good tries. Your psychological intimidation is effective, Poe. I've seen it work on your other opponents. For a guy who's so phyiscally intimidating - by which I mean "creepy" - your psychological intimidation is surprising prevalent in your behavior.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: But oh, Mr. Poe. You just haven't grasped it yet. I'm on to you. I know your game, and while your psychological offense is strong, my self-actualized mental acumen is stronger. Because I realize the strength that lies in the mental conditioning that goes on before a match, while you still rave about your "superior physical ability." In our sport, perhaps more so than in any other sport, the psychological pre-match is what makes the match. Physical ability plays a role, of course, but if you go in expecting to win on that alone, you'll never succeed. You call yourself a "man of action," Poe, but you are just as much a man of words as anyone else in this business. It's just that, like many others, you fail to realize the extent to which you ARE a man of words.
(Cannonball strikes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: I hope, I hope, I hope I've not led you too far astray of my Message, Poe. I'm not trying to break you down mentally - that would be far too cruel an action for a self-actualized man such as myself. But with each attempt to help you that you reject, I must change my methods and resort to a new measure. I'm not likely to run low on new methods anytime in the near future, of course - when I was developing my program, I knew that I would have to have a wide variety of methods of introduction. But I think, Poe, that since you have built yourself up so much in your mind as a superior physical specimen, that in order to get my Message across to you, I must beat you on the battlefield you hold in the highest regard - in the ring. Obviously I was planning on doing that anyway regardless of whether you were to accept my program, but now I find it may be an integral part of it.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: My only hope is that you will not be so bitter after I beat you that you refuse to listen to what I have to say. But I think, Poe, that deep down, underneath that thick layer of self-delusion and mental disorders, there's a part of you that is willing to listen to reason, and maybe after I beat you and take your beloved Television Title from around your waist, you'll do just that. As I said, Poe, you claim to be a "man of action." But I think that, in order to get you to accept my program and let me help you get on the path to becoming self-actualized, at Wired, I will have to show just exactly WHAT a "man of action" looks like. Just remember, Poe...even after I beat you, don't think of me as a "man of action." Think of me as a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
RE: The A word, no no not Akron
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-28-03 AT 02:44 AM (EST)](The roar of the engine on his classic Indian comes to silience as he pulls into the arena in Akron, Ohio. The camera catches up near the backstage entrance as Poe puts down the kick stand and starts to get off his bike. Road dust coates his leather jacket and the chaps that cover his jeans. It goes all the way down to the well worn off shine of his boots. As he looks in the amera you can see the skin on his fce is red from sun exposure. He takes a moment to untie the knots holding his gear on the back of the bike. Once undone he slides the pack over his shoulder and turns to the camera)
Poe: There's nothing like a good ride and good weather. Heat on your skin, wind in your hair and not a thought on your mind. focus on the road and put your foot down on the gas. I was getting alittle tired of hearing {{makes quote marks}} "The Message" and that almost...almost made me forget it. {{shrugs}} Ah, but inside my hotel room last night I heard the message come forth one more time. Sure it's changes just alittle...but the face...well the face is sadly still the same. For me though fortune stikes a tone and a lous one at that. You see I'm here now...I'm here in Akron. Sure it's not a place I'd set out for, but for the purposes of this match...{{smiles}}...Well there's no place I'd rather be. For you see with everyday the times ticks away...get's alittle bit closer and that means I'll be were I'm at home...standing in the ring...a fight in the opposite corner
(Jarod takes a moment to lock down his cycle. Satisfied it will be there when he returns, he turns and makes his way to the door)
Poe: Now...my opponent seem to once mor ethink I'm not gettign the emaning to his message. That once more he can tell me a story and the moral will set me straight. What he doesn't know...what he accuses me of quite often...misunderstanding...well it's that I just don't care. I don't care for words...I don't care for his message. He can talk till he's blue in the face...in fact he might have and it will make no difference to me. I'm here in Akron...I've got my gear in the bag...I'm ready for a fight and he should too. For you see in just a few hours...well he's going to get one. One he better be prepared for. For if he's not...not prepared for the man accross from him, well he's going to get more then just a message from me...he's going top get a lesson. A lesson the hardway
{Jarod opens the backdoor and walks into the arena. Backstage a few people are already there and preparing for thier matches. Jarod waves hello to what few friends he might have and looks back to the camera)
Poe: If I've made you question yourself...then it nothing I intended to do. I state my own personal observations...nothing more. I take what you give me...If I did accuse you of being boring or a few of the other things you mentioned. {{smiles}} Well that's not my fault. In fact I think you'll find alot of people misunderstand you in the very same way. with one person it might be just me, but hwen it everyone...well I'd like a little closer at myself. What it it they say....make a fool yourself, shame on me...make of fool of yourself all the time {{scolds}} Shame on you. look I don't care how you take it, the fact you acknowledge shows just one more thing for me to exploit. Change you tune all you want...In my mind...well I'll know the reason why and that put the ball way into my court
(He stops in looks out into the empty arena. There lies the ring set-up and ready to go. Jarod just stops and stares as he talks)
Poe: Now you can try and try and try all you want. take whatever apprach you can. Your best verbal shot has gone by the wayside. You own masterful dedictions his a huge brickwall. all of that went for nothing in now soon...very soon you'll have to step in that ring and prove...PROVE you better then me. No message...no psycho-babble...just the two of us finally squaring off and your in the champ's element. A place you have not been on my side of since arriving in the GLCW and you can beat I will not let the tables be turned tonight...or any other. that's the reason why I'm the TV Champion and the reason why I'v ebeen able to hang onto the belt longer then anyone else. That's why the title has a legacy and that's why you so desperately need it. You message needs merit after all
(Jaord walks forward, rools under the ropes and stand up. he places his powerful forarms upon the top rope and looks down)
Poe: See everything is in my favor. Even {{laughs}} if you walk out of the arena with MY belt tonight it does you no good. A belt is not yours until you've defended it. Until then you've just manged to steal it away. It has NO meaning around your waist until you've gotting into to the ring...night after night...and put your stamp on it. Everything this belt means was done with my effort. With my blood...my sweat...and ever a few tears. I know you want to take all of that away and make it yours...make it part of the message. After all that's the only way the sheep will take notice. {{shake his head}} Well it's not going to happen. No man will take away my glory without the fight of hus life {{laughs}} No kid will either
(Jarod turns his head and looks around the arena)
Poe: Imagine how it's going to be. this place packed tot he roof...Mine the ONLY title on the line tonight. I'm going to walk out, gold around my waist...fans on thier feet cheering and you...we'll you'll walk out and leave with the only thing that gives you solice...your message. Well I hope your happy...I happy that gives you comfort tonight...I even hope you don't turn back tot hat weakness when match is over and you wake up in pain the next morning. For the "Sudden Impact" or "The Fading Light" has sure elft it's mark on plenty of men in this league
(He turns around and looks down directly into the camera. His eyes narrow and voice take over a serious tone)
Poe: the message has missed it's mark. It's nothing more then an annoyance to the beast. You've been marked as it's next sacrifice. You've been chosen as my next victim. It's nothing personal...it's jsut what I do. Think your better then me...well give it your best shot. {{smiles}} Others have tried. In the end though your message will fall on deaf ears. For you though...for you there will be one constant one ringing in your ears and echoing inside your mind. It's what all the others already know
(Jarod stretches out his arms and reveals the winged display under his skin)
Poe: HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND FEAR...FEAR WHAT YOU CAN"T CONQUER
(Jarod drops, rolls out of the ring and walks away toward the dressing rooms)
<FTB>
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-28-03 AT 02:44 AM (EST)](The roar of the engine on his classic Indian comes to silience as he pulls into the arena in Akron, Ohio. The camera catches up near the backstage entrance as Poe puts down the kick stand and starts to get off his bike. Road dust coates his leather jacket and the chaps that cover his jeans. It goes all the way down to the well worn off shine of his boots. As he looks in the amera you can see the skin on his fce is red from sun exposure. He takes a moment to untie the knots holding his gear on the back of the bike. Once undone he slides the pack over his shoulder and turns to the camera)
Poe: There's nothing like a good ride and good weather. Heat on your skin, wind in your hair and not a thought on your mind. focus on the road and put your foot down on the gas. I was getting alittle tired of hearing {{makes quote marks}} "The Message" and that almost...almost made me forget it. {{shrugs}} Ah, but inside my hotel room last night I heard the message come forth one more time. Sure it's changes just alittle...but the face...well the face is sadly still the same. For me though fortune stikes a tone and a lous one at that. You see I'm here now...I'm here in Akron. Sure it's not a place I'd set out for, but for the purposes of this match...{{smiles}}...Well there's no place I'd rather be. For you see with everyday the times ticks away...get's alittle bit closer and that means I'll be were I'm at home...standing in the ring...a fight in the opposite corner
(Jarod takes a moment to lock down his cycle. Satisfied it will be there when he returns, he turns and makes his way to the door)
Poe: Now...my opponent seem to once mor ethink I'm not gettign the emaning to his message. That once more he can tell me a story and the moral will set me straight. What he doesn't know...what he accuses me of quite often...misunderstanding...well it's that I just don't care. I don't care for words...I don't care for his message. He can talk till he's blue in the face...in fact he might have and it will make no difference to me. I'm here in Akron...I've got my gear in the bag...I'm ready for a fight and he should too. For you see in just a few hours...well he's going to get one. One he better be prepared for. For if he's not...not prepared for the man accross from him, well he's going to get more then just a message from me...he's going top get a lesson. A lesson the hardway
{Jarod opens the backdoor and walks into the arena. Backstage a few people are already there and preparing for thier matches. Jarod waves hello to what few friends he might have and looks back to the camera)
Poe: If I've made you question yourself...then it nothing I intended to do. I state my own personal observations...nothing more. I take what you give me...If I did accuse you of being boring or a few of the other things you mentioned. {{smiles}} Well that's not my fault. In fact I think you'll find alot of people misunderstand you in the very same way. with one person it might be just me, but hwen it everyone...well I'd like a little closer at myself. What it it they say....make a fool yourself, shame on me...make of fool of yourself all the time {{scolds}} Shame on you. look I don't care how you take it, the fact you acknowledge shows just one more thing for me to exploit. Change you tune all you want...In my mind...well I'll know the reason why and that put the ball way into my court
(He stops in looks out into the empty arena. There lies the ring set-up and ready to go. Jarod just stops and stares as he talks)
Poe: Now you can try and try and try all you want. take whatever apprach you can. Your best verbal shot has gone by the wayside. You own masterful dedictions his a huge brickwall. all of that went for nothing in now soon...very soon you'll have to step in that ring and prove...PROVE you better then me. No message...no psycho-babble...just the two of us finally squaring off and your in the champ's element. A place you have not been on my side of since arriving in the GLCW and you can beat I will not let the tables be turned tonight...or any other. that's the reason why I'm the TV Champion and the reason why I'v ebeen able to hang onto the belt longer then anyone else. That's why the title has a legacy and that's why you so desperately need it. You message needs merit after all
(Jaord walks forward, rools under the ropes and stand up. he places his powerful forarms upon the top rope and looks down)
Poe: See everything is in my favor. Even {{laughs}} if you walk out of the arena with MY belt tonight it does you no good. A belt is not yours until you've defended it. Until then you've just manged to steal it away. It has NO meaning around your waist until you've gotting into to the ring...night after night...and put your stamp on it. Everything this belt means was done with my effort. With my blood...my sweat...and ever a few tears. I know you want to take all of that away and make it yours...make it part of the message. After all that's the only way the sheep will take notice. {{shake his head}} Well it's not going to happen. No man will take away my glory without the fight of hus life {{laughs}} No kid will either
(Jarod turns his head and looks around the arena)
Poe: Imagine how it's going to be. this place packed tot he roof...Mine the ONLY title on the line tonight. I'm going to walk out, gold around my waist...fans on thier feet cheering and you...we'll you'll walk out and leave with the only thing that gives you solice...your message. Well I hope your happy...I happy that gives you comfort tonight...I even hope you don't turn back tot hat weakness when match is over and you wake up in pain the next morning. For the "Sudden Impact" or "The Fading Light" has sure elft it's mark on plenty of men in this league
(He turns around and looks down directly into the camera. His eyes narrow and voice take over a serious tone)
Poe: the message has missed it's mark. It's nothing more then an annoyance to the beast. You've been marked as it's next sacrifice. You've been chosen as my next victim. It's nothing personal...it's jsut what I do. Think your better then me...well give it your best shot. {{smiles}} Others have tried. In the end though your message will fall on deaf ears. For you though...for you there will be one constant one ringing in your ears and echoing inside your mind. It's what all the others already know
(Jarod stretches out his arms and reveals the winged display under his skin)
Poe: HATE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND FEAR...FEAR WHAT YOU CAN"T CONQUER
(Jarod drops, rolls out of the ring and walks away toward the dressing rooms)
<FTB>