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Tournament Flashback V: The Classic


Active member
Jun 18, 2004
Fade into a still black-and-white shot of Dan Ryan mid-charge into the corner at one Ulysis Solian in the finals of the TEAM Invitational Tournament '07 at the Yorilove.com Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas, NV.

JESS CHAPEL V/O: The Classic. Every so often, one match, one game is that exciting, that heart-pounding, that breathtaking that it gets the label of classic foisted upon it. Sometimes, it's premature, but other times, it's wholly deserved. Like this past Super Bowl, or Game Seven of the 2004 NHL Eastern Conference Finals. Last year, we witnessed one of these.

The still comes to life.

JC: And it's going to happen again. Whip into the diagonal corner... SPL... NO! Solian got his foot up! Ryan's holding his face and Solian is just waiting for him... waiting... kick to the gut! Could we see... PILEDRIVER! Solian hit a piledriver, a blast from his own past! He covers... one... two... th... NO! NO! Ryan kicked out, and now Solian has that look in his eyes!

ID: You wouldn't...

JC: Solian grabs Ryan... SUICIDE grabs Ryan. That look... he's finally let him out! He's finally stopped holding back! SUICIDEDRIVER! He just spiked Ryan's head off the canvas. This match is over, Suicide with the cover... one... two... th... NO! NO! Ryan kicked out again! Two straight piledrivers and Dan Ryan is still not put away!

ID: You know, he's going to kill you when he sees the replay of this match, right?

JC: Why? It's the truth! Solian has snapped, see look? He's scooped up Ryan over the shoulder. A third straight Suicidedriver, this one... A TOMBSTONE! Goodnight Irene, Dan Ryan has got to be out. Cover... one... two... thre... WHAT? Jesus Christ, how do you survive three straight Suicidedrivers and not become a paraplegic?

ID: I don't know! Ryan's got to be on sodding enhancers! Either that, or he's a bloody alien!

JC: Aliens, zombies... we can't agree what it is, but somehow, these two men... Ryan and Sui...

ID: For the love of God Jesse, STOP CALLING HIM SUICIDE!

JC: But he is, look at him, he's setting up for the Tiger Suicidedriver '91. He's got the underhook ready.... NO! NO! Dan Ryan just countered it! Sweet merciful McGillicutty, he flipped Suicide over and now we're back at square one unless Suicide...


JC: Jesus, whoever it is, can capitalize.

ID: Solian is the fresher of the two, and he is up first.

JC: Yeah, and I have to question how much is left in Ryan's tank. Suicide goes over to him... AND RYAN ELBOWS HIM IN THE BREADBASKET! The Ego Buster is clawing to his feet as Suicide is doubled over in pain.

ID: Suicide is dead! Do you have a bloody death wish?

JC: [shrugging Duke off] Ryan is going to finish him off now! Headscissors... HUMILITY BOMB! HUMILITY BOMB! This match is over! It's gotta be! No one gets up from that! Ryan slowly covers... one... two... three... [moment of silence] ...You've GOT to be kidding me! Seriously, who kicks out of that, who?

ID: Ulysis Solian, Jesse, that's who.

JC: Ryan gets up, and he's ELL-EYE-VEE-EYE-DEE LIVID! Bates gets another earful, and he's going to have to go to his ear doctor after this match. Jesus, how can these people keep kicking out? Nothing is freaking working!

[Ryan has Solian up and puts him in a headscissors again]

ID: I don't know Jesse, I just don't know.

JC: My Lord, if he kicks out after a second Humility Bomb, I'm going to scream. He's going up... HUMIL... NO! Solian wiggles out at the peak and comes crashing down on two feet! How in the world... he's got it... CAPIC... NO! Ryan blocks it but takes a knee to the gut! Oh my... oh my God... what's Suicide trying to do?

ID: Solian is out of his sodding mind... because I think he's going to try and Humility Bomb Ryan!

JC: No... he can't... he's nuts... he's smaller by a hundred pounds! There's no way he's getting him up! OR IS THERE?


JC: OH MY FU[7s delay] GOD! ULYSIS SUICIDE JUST GAVE DAN RYAN A *******ED HUMILITY BOMB! This... I've... that's gotta be it... cover... one... two... NO!

ID: Bloody hell!

JC: That's about the only thing you can say right now, Duke! Bloody hell! You're saying it, I'm saying it, Vegas is saying it, hell, Suicide is even saying it!

ID: He's not...

JC: He's picking Ryan up. There are only a few moves left in his arsenal and if they don't work, then Ryan's gotta be indestructible. Solian trying to get Ryan on his shoulders for the Hammer it looks like... No, Ryan slips off and boots Solian in the back! And now Ryan's got Solian in the Argentine... here we go.......

[Almost in slow motion, Ryan drops down to his side]






ID: I don't bloody believe it! Finally! That was a sodding war!

JC: You're telling me Duke, you're telling me. And take not a damn thing away from Solian or Suicide. No matter the name, no matter the outcome... he brought it, not just in this match, but in this entire tournament. My hat's off to you, Ulysis... it's a damn shame you couldn't win.

[All the while, Kevin Bates has Ryan's hand raised.]

MD: Here is yuh winnuh... and the 2007 Chad Merritt Trophy Champion... The Ego Bustuh... DAN... RYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!

JC: And lost in all this... he won with the move he adopted as a tribute to his fallen friend. If Rob Sampson were alive today, he'd be proud... DAMN proud of Dan Ryan.

ID: You're telling the truth.

[From out of the back, TEAM EPICENTER co-anchor Tom Holzerman comes down, wheeling the Chad Merritt Trophy with him.]

JC: Look at that, Duke, just look at it. The most majestic trophy in all wrestling, and it's Dan Ryan's... all Dan Ryan's. You deserved that, Dan.

[Holzerman enters the ring, and shortly after, some hands pass him the trophy. He sets it down in the middle of the ring between himself and Ryan.]

TH: Dan Ryan, on behalf of TEAM, the Yorilove.com Casino and Hotel and every single wrestling fan who watched this tonight, either live or on Alternative Sports Network... I congratulate you on your hard fought tournament!


TH: And because you won here tonight... I am here to present you with the Chad Merritt Trophy. Dan Ryan, lift that trophy up, because you're the 2007 TEAM Invitational Tournament Champion!

[Ryan lifts the trophy up to chest level, and then over his head and the scene becomes still once more.]

JC V/O: The Classic. It happens here.

The scene fades to a white background with this in big, black lettering.


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