Yori Yakamo jr
League Member
Live from the MBE Arena
Matt Burke, reporting
Welcome ladies and gentleman to the last WNW before Total Elimination. Back at MBE’s old lady in front of a sell out crowd. A WHOLE bunch of interesting names backstage, which will cover more in depth in this week’s Chronicle. MBE seems to be settling in nicely, but Total Elimination will be a big test of where MBE is going to be headed in the next few months. Four very unlikely World Title Contenders will be pared down to two. Let’s go, shall we?
Credits. Lights. Crowd Shots. Let’s toss it down to Till and Dr. P
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We start off with six-man action. I like that MBE starts with a match every week, without fail, this one should be a barn burner too. I also like the Lot’s entrance. WE WANT MORE LOT. Promo gets his usual king’s welcome to the Arena, the crowd chanting “Andy’s gonna kill you.” Put down the ROH tapes, kids. And Mr. Gilkison is on the scene! He rushes headlong into the ring and Promo heads for the high country as the Lot block Andy’s path. That Underground Icon has the heart of a champion. Hoss Garrison evens the odds, and the Lot decides to take a judicious exit to discuss strategy with Promo. And here comes Irishred. He is a man on a mission. He stops to bask in the glow of the fans’ reception and HOLY **** IT’S RAVAGE! HE IS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF IRISHRED. CHOKESLAM OFF THE RAMP! Andy and Hoss go to help, but get jumped by Promo and the Lot. The Misfit Monster just walks off, and the crowd has no idea what to make of that. We haven’t seen the big man stateside in years.
Looks like we are going three on two, as EMTs check on Red. He must have Frequent Ambulance Ride Miles by now. Obviously PbPro means business. The Lot and Promo drag Hoss and Andy back into the ring and go to work, isolating Hoss. Nate ties him up in a goofy looking abdominal stretch and Promo pounds away at the Thrillbilly’s midsection. That seems to be the body part du jour as Promo adds a gut buster, and Mac does his stomping thing, as our villains make quick tags and generally control the match. I would be remiss in my journalistic duties if I didn’t mention Nate’s new toupee, made entirely out of human hair of various colors and styles. It’s…disturbing. Hoss finally gets some offense in, blocking a Nate neckbreaker and dumping the hooligan right on his back. He drops a knee and dives to tag in the Gilkinator. Andy quickly clears the ring of the Lot and calls for Promo to get in the ring. Promo debates this for a few seconds and then starts to step through the ropes, only to drop down to the ring floor. Andy heads out after him, but is quickly cut off by the Lot, who post him into the ring steps and lay in the boots as Promo supervises.
Back in the ring, Andy regains his momentum, ducking a Lot double team and sending the Mac and Nate crashing into each other. A German Suplex follows for a stunned Mac and Andy charges after the Underground Icon, knocking Promo to the floor. Andy follows with a huge plancha, flattening the Real World Champ as we head to our first commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back to live action and Andy is in control of Nate in the ring. A replay catches us up. Andy hooks the Gilkimission out of nowhere on Promo, but Nate breaks it up before walking into rolling suplexes. Andy gets a near fall of the Gilkination DDT, but Mac breaks it up, bringing Hoss into the ring. The ref escorts Hoss out, allowing Mac and Nate to drag Andy into the enemy corner and engage in some blatant choking. Promo spits in Andy’s face, just to add insult to injury. Mac tags in and adds a spinebuster and the SHEFFIELD STOMP! There are now an even half dozen Lot fans in Wednesday jerseys in the front row chanting along. The Lot ready Andy for the Bangers and Mash, and that devastating double team maneuver continues its zero percent success rate, as Andy slips out of the Gori Bomb and shoves Nate into the ropes, crotching Marion. HOT TAG HOSS. Hoss quickly dumps Mac and adds his own Garvin Stomp to Nate. Promo grabs Hoss from behind now and hits a big belly to back suplex.
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Promo sets him for the Promoplex, but heeeeeere’s Andy. The crowd goes ballistic as Promo eats the rolling Germans. Promo is begging for mercy. Andy is stern but just as he punts Promo right in between his beady little eyes. Gilkination DDT gets two. ANDYBOMBAH…….NO! Nate clips Andy to make the save. He hooks Andy for the Hillsborough Garrotte, but Hoss makes the save. DOUBLE TEAM ANDYBOMBAHHHH! Nate goes splat. Mac tackles Hoss and the ref tries vainly to regain control. PROMO WITH THE MOTORCYCLE HELMET! He almost caved Andy’s skull in there. What a bastard. He locks on the Fadeout. Mac is holding Hoss back from making the save. The ref is checking on Andy, but he is out. Promo celebrates like he just won the lottery. He joins Mac and an unconscious, but propped up Nate in some chanting as Hoss checks on his tag partner.
WINNER: THE SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY LOT/PROMO (Promo-> Andy: Fadeout- 15:44)
Fun, crazy tag match. I assume this is leading to Promo/Andy at Total Elimination, which will be a hell of a match. The Red thing kind of got buried, but Ravage coming over is huge for MBE, and I am sure we will get back to it later tonight.
Back to the Office de Yori and TEAM PERVERT is prepping a thankfully fully clothed Justin for his semifinal match. Yori is imploring Justin to work the corneas, but Justin wants to win fair and square. Yamada bursts in and wants to know why Yori is still here, he was supposed to pick his daughter up at the airport forty-five minutes ago. Yori tells the old man not to worry, he sent the Robot to pick her up. Yamada is not amused. Nor should he be, as at that moment, the Yugo bursts through the rear wall of the office with ROBOYORI shofuring, and a screaming Ayako Yamada covering her face in horror (“ROBOYORI HOME!”
Yamada consoles his irate daughter, who tells Yori that she is here on official PbPro business, and expected a proper welcome, not a harrowing ride driven by a life size sex robot. And I ask, where did she think she was, CSWA, or something. Ayako yells at the sex robot. “AYAKO SMELL NICE. ROBOYORI PENETRATE?” That goes over REAL well. Ayako tells Yori to get his **** in order. Yori counters that it’s Ayako’s wrestler who is running amock tonight and brings up Ravage. The whole room is confused, but Yori does in fact actually watch what happens on WNW. He is like the grand wazir of the whole shebang, or something. Ayako backpedals, claiming that she can’t take responsibility for every disgruntled gaijin that wants a piece of Irishred. She has official business to take care of and wants to see Yori and her father right away. The three exit, leaving the sexbot and Justin to contemplate what just happened.
“AYAKO *****?”
“Yep, sexbot, yep.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Back to the ring and Cool Frank Cutta comes down to ringside. He will be facing MBE enhancement talent legend, Jake “Patches” Lagee. Haven’t seen the fighting hobo in a while. Surprised they didn’t use him during Justin’s hobo strike, actually. I must say, though, the hobo/pervert to non-hobo/non-pervert ratio in MBE is getting a little skewed for my liking. CFC dominates from the bell, just beating up poor Patches, who looks like he just wants a meatball sandwich and a roof over his head. Patches makes a feeble comeback attempt, ducking a jumping clothesline and hitting a neck breaker followed by a leg drop for a two count. Patches goes up top, which proves to be a bad move as CFC catches him in midair with a dropkick. The Pain Killer finishes from there, and it is off to Yori’s soup kitchen for Mr. Lagee.
WINNER: COOL FRANK CUTTA (4:29- The Pain Killer)
Nice showcase for CFC, though he seems a bit constrained with the lack of a hardcore division. MBE may be heading in that direction, though, so we will see.
Backstage with the Fresh One and entourage, as Biff wants some thoughts on his upcoming match with Doc Silver. Fresh says all of MBE has had to listen to Doc run his mouth about how he is the only real star here. How he is the only championship material. How he lives, breaths, and sleeps for the gold. Well, Fresh and the fans are sick of this aging has-been yapping about his glory days, like some ex high school middle linebacker who sat on the bench for the big win his senior year and swung a towel. So Fresh is gonna do everyone a favor. He’ll shut Silver’s mouth once and for all. Jock adds a “That’s right, holmes. Listen to the Freshness” as the Entourage exits the scene.
A seemingly distracted Yamada introduces the fourth and final entrant into this year’s inaugural class of the MBE Hall of Fame. None other than “The Asian Wonder” Hida Yakamo. Big pop for this. And hey, better than 50/50 odds he will actually show up at the proceedings, which is more than you can say for the headline name. I might have put the man who shall not be named in before him, but you can’t argue with Hida too vehemently.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back from commercial and a battered and bruised Andy speaks directly to the camera. He says he has had enough of Promo. Ever since MBE started up again he has been the talk of the show. He wants everyone to believe that he is the true world champion, that he is the brightest star in MBE. He’s nothing but a walking joke. He had his chance to stake a real claim to the world title and he got swept right out of the tournament. So he decided to screw with his shot at the Big Gold Belt. He’s been chasing that belt for seven years, and the fact that a cheap punk like Promo took his chance from him makes him sick. But he is going to remedy that. At Total Elimination they will go one on one, and just like he beat the crap out of Promo’s buddy, AJ Cirrus and ran him out of MBE, he’ll do the same to the so-called Underground Icon. And then, finally, MBE can move out from under the shadow of frauds like Promo.
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It’s time for the first of our Title Tourney semifinal matches, pitting Justin Evitable against Duchess. If you are just dropping by, that is not a misprint. Duchess is out first, and she gets a very warm welcome from the MBE faithful. It’s hard to believe that Duchess was in the first ever match in MBE history, and now seven years later she sits on the precipice of a world title shot. Which I believe would be her first ever. She has certainly earned it, though, going through a litany of big names to get here. Justin was sort of a career journeyman, consistently inconsistent, though always a good talker. He has been rock solid since coming back, though, and the hook up with Yori seems to have rejuvenated his career. Insert your own drug joke there, I guess. He comes out in his old school gear and with the Singapore Cane, a nice touch.
Justin offers a handshake to start, but Duchess is having none of it. Crowd doesn’t like that, but granted, Justin did just drop her on her head two weeks ago, I’d be a little leery too. Collar and elbow and Justin grabs a hammerlock and rides Duchess to the mat, he transitions to a headlock, Duchess headscissors out, pops up and grabs an arm drag. She holds onto the arm bar and grounds Justin. Justin tries to roll out, but Duchess is waiting for him with another arm drag. Justin bails.
Back in the ring and Justin grabs a single leg. He takes Duchess down and controls the leg, back to the headlock and this time he deftly avoids the head scissors. Duchess rolls him onto his back for a one count, but Justin rolls back, right into a Duchess head scissors. This time Justin is ready and avoids the arm drag and adds a leg trip. That gets one as Duchess quickly pops out, but finds herself back in a headlock. Obviously, we are going long.
Justin works the headlock for a while, and the two work some standard sequences out of it, with Justin refusing to let go. Duchess finally frees herself and sends Justin into the ropes. He shoulder blocks the first lady of MBE to the mat and hits the ropes again, the two criss cross and Justin hits a nice dropkick, and it’s Duchess’s turn to take a breather. I like that the two are taking pains not to make an early mistake here. Back in and Justin is on her in a flash, laying in the kicks. She tries to roll back out, but Justin picks her up and whips her off the ropes, she ducks a clothesline, but eats a back elbow from the true face, spinning leg drop from Justin gets a short two count.
Suplex drops Duchess back to that mat, but a knee drop misses. Duchess catches Justin with a short dropkick, driving him into the corner. Duchess whips him to the near turnbuckle, but Justin reverses it and tries to follow with a jumping double knee. Duchess deftly moves out of the way, though, and Justin’s knees crash into the post and he goes over the ropes to the apron. Duchess dropkicks Justin’s bruised knee and Justin drops off the apron to the floor, driving his face into the apron. Ouch. That sucker snapped back hard. Justin is clearly dazed. Duchess heads up top….HURICANRANA TO THE OUTSIDE! Nice. Both are down and to commercial we go.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back and our combatants are back in the ring. Duchess has Justin in a leglock, working over his injured knee. A replay shows us Duchess hitting a slingshot elbow drop on Justin’s leg. Justin makes the ropes to force a break, but his leg is clearly giving him trouble. He tries to fight back, but Duchess goes low to the leg and then rolls into a schoolboy, Justin escapes at two. Justin needs the rope to pull himself up this time, but does manage to duck a baseball slide dropkick from Duchess, who slides out of the ring. She grabs Justin’s legs, knocking him to the canvas. She pulls him to the outside, but he hooks he immediately catches her with a Euro uppercut when he lands on the floor. Duchess backs into the barricade, and Justin takes a moment to regain his balance. He charges after Duchess, but she moves out of the way, sending Justin crashing shoulder first into the barricade. Duchess goes for a Dragon Screw on the floor, but Justin catches her with an enzuigiri from his good leg.
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Justin breaks the ten count from the ref and limps his way to the top, but it takes him too long and Duchess is up on the apron. They exchange rights and Justin is in a very precarious position. Duchess goes low behind the ref’s back and Justin lands crotch first on the turnbuckle. Duchess heads in ring and pulls Justin off the turnbuckle with a nasty looking high angle neck breaker. That gets a 2.9 right there. Back to the knee as Justin tries desperately to block a figure four. Whoooo! There it is. Justin is in a world of pain as the crowd chants “Please Don’t Tap.” Duchess gets a few two counts off the hold, but Justin still has some vim and vigor left. He tries to turn the hold over, but Duchess isn’t budging. Justin tries to reach her, but the First Lady of MBE puts him back down with an eye rake.
Justin is fading now and the ref checks on him. One hand drop…two hand drops….The True Face is up! He rolls Duchess over! Duchess is in trouble. Oh, she rolls through and makes the ropes. Justin gets up gingerly as Duchess stomps on his knee. Duchess fires back with some elbows and uppercuts. Duchess takes a running start, but Justin explodes and catches her with a spinebuster as he collapses in agony. Justin is up first and he whips Duchess into the corner. He limps over with a turnbuckle clothesline. Justin mounts the turnbuckles and lays in the fisticuffs as the crowd counts along. Duchess cuts them off at eight though, as she elbows the back of Justin’s knee and the True Face drops down in agony. Duchess charges, but gets caught by a nasty looking T-Bone Suplex. Duch got dropped right on her head, there. Justin crawls over, but only gets two. He shakes some life back into his leg and looks for the SKEETBOARD. Ooh Duchess ducks. Justin hits the mat hard. Maybe a miscalculation by the Rated R Popstar there. Duchess grabs the Ankle lock! Justin is screaming bloody murder. Is he gonna tap….No! he makes the ropes. Duchess is unimpressed and sets the beleaguered True Face on the top turnbuckle. She is looking for a top rope Dragon Screw.
Justin is kicking with all his might to free himself. Finally desperation sends him to the eyes and Duchess backs up to get her vision back. Justin leaps into action with a Jumping DDT! DUCHESS GOES SPLAT! Justin covers. No! Too close to the ropes! Duchess escapes. Justin is on fumes now. He’s looking for the After Party! His leg gives out! Duchess on top! Only Two! Duchess is stalking Justin now. Chop Block! Duchess going for the ankle lock again. Justin kicks her off, Duchess hits the ropes. Justin grabs a small package! No! Duchess escapes again! Duchess looking for a superkick, Justin ducks. SKEETBOARD! Duchess is down, but Justin is in a world of pain. He finally makes the cover. 2.99! The crowd is out of breath. Justin may be out of options. The True Face is heading up top. TOP ROPE SKEETBOARD! HE MISSES! DUCHESS HAS GOT THE ANKLE LOCK! Justin is in big trouble now. Duchess has him in the center of the ring. Justin is in unbridled agony. He’s tapping…No! He rolls Duchess over in a Victory Roll! Crap, THAT’S THREE! IT’S OVER! JUSTIN IS ONTO THE FINALS!
WINNER: JUSTIN EVITABLE (19:06- Small Package)
The crowd explodes for a hyooooge win for The True Face. Justin rolls to the floor and tries to get some feeling back in his leg. Duchess argues with the ref over the speed and exact amount of the count. Justin celebrates with the fans, and he seems as in shock as the fans. Great match though, with rock solid psych.
Up to Biff Bentley in the MBE control room and he runs down our Total Elimination card. Justin is the first finalist and he will face the winner of Jogi/Doc in the main event. Promo meets Andy in one on one action and the Lot will challenge The Billies and Jimmy Donovan for the Tag Titles in an Elimination match. Well, it’s nice they got an elimination match on the card. Pretty stacked line-up when you include the HoF ceremony. This is gonna be a huge show for MBE, not make or break, but it could decide the direction and success of the fed for the proximate future.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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We are in a darkened parking lot behind the arena with a nervous and probably inebriated Yori. He dashes a flashlight around in the darkness, and it finally stops on the visage of Ayako Yamada. Yori gives a bit of a yelp and backs up against the wall. Ayako is very happy Yori came. Yori claims that she's not a three-breasted naked Thai hooker like she said in the note she left on his office door. Ms. Yamada says that may be true, but she knew he wouldn't come if she asked. Yori says that is true, because he has had bad luck with the Yamada daughters, and Ayako is scary. Ayako says Yori is just afraid of women in power, but Yori disagrees, as will any number of his S+M mistresses. Ayako is a little distressed at this, but keeps up the act. She says that if Yori wants a woman to dominate him, she's just the one. Yori thinks this is a great idea, and the exact reason why he invented his tearaway business suit. And there it goes. Fortunately the camera stays above waist level. Hmm, I think those nipple piercings are new. Ayako says, wait one minute stud, I need you to sign this. Yori innocently asks what it is. Ayako says it is like a prenuptial agreement, only for paternity. She knows how often Yori gets his with paternity suits, so she took the liberty of drawing up an agreement not to sue if he accidentally knocks her up. Yori is smitten and says Ayako thinks of everything. He hastily signs the documentation. Yori is about to consummate the agreement, but stops and asks if Ayako is doing this to get back at her sister for something. Ayako thinks for a moment, and says, 'a little bit, probably.' Yori is okay with that, and tosses Ayako onto the hood of the Yugo. Thankfully, the camera pans away from the 'action.'
Poor, poor Yori. Somehow I don't think that was a paternity suit waiver.
Back to action of the wrestling kind, as Larry the Luddite is on his way to ringside. His daughter gets into it with the Lot fans at ringside, who call her all manner of British slang that I don't understand. Larry offers to give them a what for, and I ponder whether MBE should have ran out the Computer Geek/Technophobe match this quickly. The portly Browser joins the fray, and he almost has real ring gear now. I guess they couldn't transfer enough funds from Yugo maintenance and wall reconstruction this week. Browser, so hard not to call him Webby, takes the early action as Larry is still distracted by the Lot's Lot. Browser hits his really nice dropkick, but realizes he is out of actual wrestling moves, so just tries the dropkick again. Larry sidesteps this one and stomps away on the poor technophile. The Luddite hits a nasty curb stomp variation, slamming Browser’s Jaw over the ring rope. Gnarly. That gets two.
Larry looks for the EMP, but Browser ducks and hits a teardrop suplex. He looks as surprised as anyone. He heads up top and hits a top rope dropkick as the ring shakes a bit. Ooh, Luddite is out in the nick of time. Browser looks for the Spam Stopper but Larry dumps him on his back. Bitty hands him a particularly garish looking chain, which the Larry hides in ihs tights. Browser misses a charge and Larry hits a clothesline. He goes for the Circuit Breaker, but Browser kicks his way free and hits a DDT. That gets two. He goes for another teardrop suplex, but Larry conks him with the chain and lands on top. Only two! Bitty is irate! Larry is annoyed! He sets for another EMP attempt and this time Larry nails it. Browser is down, and that gets the three.
WINNER: LARRY THE LUDDITE (6:52- EMP)
Nice little match, worked smartly within the competitor's limitations. Bitty's voice is grating, but she is certainly an energetic second.
Doc Silver is walking.
Jogi Fresh is walking.
Our main event is on the horizon.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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It’s time to decide who will face Justin Evitable for the MBE World Heavyweight Title. In other news, hell just froze over. Doc Silver is out first, and he brings Dority, the “severed head of ROBOYORI” and Greenie with him, not to mention his general disgust for the MBE faithful. Jogi is out next with the Entourage. It’s getting crowded at ringside. Some jawing goes on and Senior Referee Lance Thunder LAYS DOWN THE LAW! He sends everyone back to the locker room, no ifs ands or buts. The “severed head” gets to stay for some reason. Doc cries foul and claims Yori got to the good official. Lance is having none of it and tells Doc to get his ass in the ring. Doc stalls for a while, as is his wont, but finally rolls into the ring, and we get the proceedings underway.
Jogi stalks Doc and throws some jabs. Doc wants none of this boxing garbage, though, and every time Jogi gets to close, Doc ducks into the ropes. If Jogi is feeling any ill effects on his arm from last week, he hasn’t shown it thus far. Doc tries for the SHOOT! (something you’d think he’d be better versed in….ZING) but Jogi sprawls and Doc is forced to try and pull Jogi into his guard. Hmmm, looks like Doc caught an MMA event or two in between stints at the Vegas poker tables. Jogi just laughs and tells Doc to get up off his ass. Jogi shows Doc how it is done, taking Doc down with a clinch and then a leg trip. Jogi prepares to rain down some blows, but Doc grabs the bottom rope and then points to his head. Perhaps he is suggesting Jogi hit him there, no, he is probably just drawing attention to his keen intelligence. Jogi throws some leg kicks now, drawing a wince from Doc. Doc is all, **** this MMA ****, and hits his ye olde leaping eye poke. He doubles Jogi over with a knee to the gut and knocks His Freshness to the mat with an axe handle. Some probably not Nevada Athletic Commission approved stomping commences.
Irish whip and Doc catches Jogi with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Ooh, Doc flexing the old moveset. He grinds his forearm into Jogi’s face on the pin attempt. Only gets two. Doc drops some hard elbows and then delivers the always vicious boot scrape. Jogi hasn’t gotten anything going yet. Doc preens a bit, drawing the ire of the fans. He hits an inverted atomic drop and bounces off the ropes, but walks right into a belly-to-belly suplex from Jogi. Jogi is a wee bit pissed perhaps. Doc gets up, but quickly eats a powerslam from The Fresh One. Jogi whirls right into an armbar and Doc is clamoring for the ropes. They’ve done a good job of getting that move over as a do or die situation, but I’d like to see someone tap to it once in a while.
Jogi continues his assault on poor Doc, peppering his opponent with a flurry of jabs and leg kicks as Doc tries to find refuge. Northern Lights Suplex gets two. Jogi wastes no time going for THE FRESHNESS, but Doc kicks his way free and knocks Jogi down with a dropkick. Jogi is up first though and looks for a spear, but Doc dodges and Jogi posts himself. Ooh, looks like that arm is still a little tender. Doc smells blood and wraps the arm around the ropes in a hammerlock; judiciously using his five count from the Ref Thunder. Single Arm DDT gets two, and Doc switches into a Fujiwara. Jogi is comfortable on the mat, though, and uses his strength to bridge out and roll through the hold. He pulls Doc into his guard and immediately works for a Triangle. Doc responds by dropping a knee on Jogi’s groin. Ouch. Doc goes back to work on the arm, dropping a knee and grabbing a short arm scissors. Jogi has been studying his old Backlund tapes, though and pulls out Bob’s old counter, dropping Jogi to the mat. Doc makes the mistake of dropping his hands and walks right into a desperation haymaker from Jogi. Doc drops like a sack of potatoes, but Jogi is nursing his arm and is too hurt to cover. And it’s commercial time.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Back to action and Jogi is laying into Doc in the corner with the stomps. He hits a running dropkick, but is still favoring the arm a lot. No replay, I am hurt. How will I ever know what transpired? Jogi whips Doc off the ropes and hits a leaping clothesline with his good arm that nearly beheads poor Doc. That gets a long two count. Jogi hoists Doc for a Death Valley Driver or something like that. We will never know, as Doc slips out the back and hits a half nelson bulldog on the bad arm, he moves right into an arm bar from there, but Jogi is able to make the ropes before too much damage can be done. Doc steps up his game now, hitting a fisherman’s suplex for two.
Doc posts Jogi and wraps his arm around the turnbuckle a few times, with gusto. Jogi flops back in the ring and Doc quickly goes for a cover. That gets two. Doc looks for his Ace’s Full Stunner but Jogi pushes him off into the ropes and catches him with a big German on his way back. Both men are down and the ref is administering a standing ten count. Jogi is up first and fires off some weak right hands before switching to his left jab. His right arm is pretty much useless now, so he adds some headbutts. His flurry of strikes sends Doc reeling, but Jogi can’t pull off The Freshness one armed and Doc gets his opening for The Ace’s Full Stunner. That gets a long two and Doc is a little perturbed that he will have to continue to wrestle. He tries for The River, but Jogi elbows out and hits a roaring elbow as Doc turns around. His arm is not happy at that move, but Jogi manages to make the cover. Can’t hook the leg, though, and Doc slips out at two.
Jogi crushes Doc with a huge combo and Doc crumples in a heap as Jogi leans on the ropes for support and tries to shake some feeling back into his arm. The ref administers his ten count on Doc, Doc is on dream street, but smartly rolls to the floor to stop that count and buy him some more time. Doc must be concussed; cause he thinks talking to the ‘severed head of ROBOYORI’ is a good idea. Hmmm, he is not happy to find out that it is just a giant paperweight. Jogi follows him out as the ref implores the to get back inside. Doc grabs the paperweight and threatens to hit Jogi with it, the Ref drops down and takes the weight from Doc, but he uses the distraction to kick Jogi in the nuts. He rolls The Fresh One back in, but the nutshot only gets two. Jogi is one pissed off man now. He peppers Doc with shots, but the arm just gives out on him and Doc drives Jogi into the corner with a shoulder tackle, unfortunately Lance Thunder is between them and the turnbuckle and his lateral movement hasn’t been the same since the hip surgery. REF DOWN! Well, Doc knows what to do now and scrambles for his paperweight. He takes a swing at Jogi, but Jogi ducks and the weight drops harmlessly to the mat. Jogi goes for the Freshness and gets Doc up, but Doc counters with a DDT out of midair. RIGHT ON THE WEIGHT! OOH! Jogi got his bell rung there and he is split open bad. Doc quickly disposes of the evidence. Come on now, you have to be kidding me. Doc rouses the ref. THE RIVER! Yeesh, that damn Doc Silver is in the finals, ****ing Eh.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (17:48- The River)
I feel for Jogi, he deserved this one bad, but Doc just seems to find a way to win, the bastard. Doc celebrates like a madman, telling the paper weight that they did it. Hmm, he might want to get that bump on his head examined. The Entourage comes down to tend to Jogi, who is still bleeding bad. Doc manages to avoid them and make his way to the ramp where he bumps into JUSTIN EVITABLE! Wham goes the Singapore Cane and Doc is left writhing on the rampway. Justin leans in real close and tells him that his revenge on Doc will be doubly sweet, because it will leave him MBE Champion.
Sign off, logo, fade out.
THE FINAL WORD
Solid show from top to bottom, less backstage stuff this week, but that’s to be expected in a PPV run up. I don’t know where the Ayako/Yori thing is going, but it can’t be going anywhere good for The Excellence of Sexecution. The PPV looks like a doozy. Doc/Justin may not have been the finals we would have predicted but there is a lot of hate there and it should be a solid match as both are underrated in the ring. Lot/Billies finally get their hands on each other for the blowoff match and I am expecting a transcendently fun brawl, and Andy and Promo may just kill each other. Total Elim is pretty much a must buy for any MBE fans out there and any people curious about what the fed has to offer.
As for this week’s show. Three good, long matches gets an easy thumbs up from me. I would like to see the new guys get some more time, but they should get their chance at the PPV. Now for this week’s awards
THE REWIND REWARDS
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Duchess v. Justin Evitable
SPOT OF THE NIGHT: Larry the Luddite’s curb stomp
LINE OF THE NIGHT: Dr. P: “There are more Brits on this show than an episode of The Office. You know, the British one.”
Matt Burke, reporting
Welcome ladies and gentleman to the last WNW before Total Elimination. Back at MBE’s old lady in front of a sell out crowd. A WHOLE bunch of interesting names backstage, which will cover more in depth in this week’s Chronicle. MBE seems to be settling in nicely, but Total Elimination will be a big test of where MBE is going to be headed in the next few months. Four very unlikely World Title Contenders will be pared down to two. Let’s go, shall we?
Credits. Lights. Crowd Shots. Let’s toss it down to Till and Dr. P
QH1
We start off with six-man action. I like that MBE starts with a match every week, without fail, this one should be a barn burner too. I also like the Lot’s entrance. WE WANT MORE LOT. Promo gets his usual king’s welcome to the Arena, the crowd chanting “Andy’s gonna kill you.” Put down the ROH tapes, kids. And Mr. Gilkison is on the scene! He rushes headlong into the ring and Promo heads for the high country as the Lot block Andy’s path. That Underground Icon has the heart of a champion. Hoss Garrison evens the odds, and the Lot decides to take a judicious exit to discuss strategy with Promo. And here comes Irishred. He is a man on a mission. He stops to bask in the glow of the fans’ reception and HOLY **** IT’S RAVAGE! HE IS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF IRISHRED. CHOKESLAM OFF THE RAMP! Andy and Hoss go to help, but get jumped by Promo and the Lot. The Misfit Monster just walks off, and the crowd has no idea what to make of that. We haven’t seen the big man stateside in years.
Looks like we are going three on two, as EMTs check on Red. He must have Frequent Ambulance Ride Miles by now. Obviously PbPro means business. The Lot and Promo drag Hoss and Andy back into the ring and go to work, isolating Hoss. Nate ties him up in a goofy looking abdominal stretch and Promo pounds away at the Thrillbilly’s midsection. That seems to be the body part du jour as Promo adds a gut buster, and Mac does his stomping thing, as our villains make quick tags and generally control the match. I would be remiss in my journalistic duties if I didn’t mention Nate’s new toupee, made entirely out of human hair of various colors and styles. It’s…disturbing. Hoss finally gets some offense in, blocking a Nate neckbreaker and dumping the hooligan right on his back. He drops a knee and dives to tag in the Gilkinator. Andy quickly clears the ring of the Lot and calls for Promo to get in the ring. Promo debates this for a few seconds and then starts to step through the ropes, only to drop down to the ring floor. Andy heads out after him, but is quickly cut off by the Lot, who post him into the ring steps and lay in the boots as Promo supervises.
Back in the ring, Andy regains his momentum, ducking a Lot double team and sending the Mac and Nate crashing into each other. A German Suplex follows for a stunned Mac and Andy charges after the Underground Icon, knocking Promo to the floor. Andy follows with a huge plancha, flattening the Real World Champ as we head to our first commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back to live action and Andy is in control of Nate in the ring. A replay catches us up. Andy hooks the Gilkimission out of nowhere on Promo, but Nate breaks it up before walking into rolling suplexes. Andy gets a near fall of the Gilkination DDT, but Mac breaks it up, bringing Hoss into the ring. The ref escorts Hoss out, allowing Mac and Nate to drag Andy into the enemy corner and engage in some blatant choking. Promo spits in Andy’s face, just to add insult to injury. Mac tags in and adds a spinebuster and the SHEFFIELD STOMP! There are now an even half dozen Lot fans in Wednesday jerseys in the front row chanting along. The Lot ready Andy for the Bangers and Mash, and that devastating double team maneuver continues its zero percent success rate, as Andy slips out of the Gori Bomb and shoves Nate into the ropes, crotching Marion. HOT TAG HOSS. Hoss quickly dumps Mac and adds his own Garvin Stomp to Nate. Promo grabs Hoss from behind now and hits a big belly to back suplex.
QH2
Promo sets him for the Promoplex, but heeeeeere’s Andy. The crowd goes ballistic as Promo eats the rolling Germans. Promo is begging for mercy. Andy is stern but just as he punts Promo right in between his beady little eyes. Gilkination DDT gets two. ANDYBOMBAH…….NO! Nate clips Andy to make the save. He hooks Andy for the Hillsborough Garrotte, but Hoss makes the save. DOUBLE TEAM ANDYBOMBAHHHH! Nate goes splat. Mac tackles Hoss and the ref tries vainly to regain control. PROMO WITH THE MOTORCYCLE HELMET! He almost caved Andy’s skull in there. What a bastard. He locks on the Fadeout. Mac is holding Hoss back from making the save. The ref is checking on Andy, but he is out. Promo celebrates like he just won the lottery. He joins Mac and an unconscious, but propped up Nate in some chanting as Hoss checks on his tag partner.
WINNER: THE SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY LOT/PROMO (Promo-> Andy: Fadeout- 15:44)
Fun, crazy tag match. I assume this is leading to Promo/Andy at Total Elimination, which will be a hell of a match. The Red thing kind of got buried, but Ravage coming over is huge for MBE, and I am sure we will get back to it later tonight.
Back to the Office de Yori and TEAM PERVERT is prepping a thankfully fully clothed Justin for his semifinal match. Yori is imploring Justin to work the corneas, but Justin wants to win fair and square. Yamada bursts in and wants to know why Yori is still here, he was supposed to pick his daughter up at the airport forty-five minutes ago. Yori tells the old man not to worry, he sent the Robot to pick her up. Yamada is not amused. Nor should he be, as at that moment, the Yugo bursts through the rear wall of the office with ROBOYORI shofuring, and a screaming Ayako Yamada covering her face in horror (“ROBOYORI HOME!”
“AYAKO *****?”
“Yep, sexbot, yep.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH3
Back to the ring and Cool Frank Cutta comes down to ringside. He will be facing MBE enhancement talent legend, Jake “Patches” Lagee. Haven’t seen the fighting hobo in a while. Surprised they didn’t use him during Justin’s hobo strike, actually. I must say, though, the hobo/pervert to non-hobo/non-pervert ratio in MBE is getting a little skewed for my liking. CFC dominates from the bell, just beating up poor Patches, who looks like he just wants a meatball sandwich and a roof over his head. Patches makes a feeble comeback attempt, ducking a jumping clothesline and hitting a neck breaker followed by a leg drop for a two count. Patches goes up top, which proves to be a bad move as CFC catches him in midair with a dropkick. The Pain Killer finishes from there, and it is off to Yori’s soup kitchen for Mr. Lagee.
WINNER: COOL FRANK CUTTA (4:29- The Pain Killer)
Nice showcase for CFC, though he seems a bit constrained with the lack of a hardcore division. MBE may be heading in that direction, though, so we will see.
Backstage with the Fresh One and entourage, as Biff wants some thoughts on his upcoming match with Doc Silver. Fresh says all of MBE has had to listen to Doc run his mouth about how he is the only real star here. How he is the only championship material. How he lives, breaths, and sleeps for the gold. Well, Fresh and the fans are sick of this aging has-been yapping about his glory days, like some ex high school middle linebacker who sat on the bench for the big win his senior year and swung a towel. So Fresh is gonna do everyone a favor. He’ll shut Silver’s mouth once and for all. Jock adds a “That’s right, holmes. Listen to the Freshness” as the Entourage exits the scene.
A seemingly distracted Yamada introduces the fourth and final entrant into this year’s inaugural class of the MBE Hall of Fame. None other than “The Asian Wonder” Hida Yakamo. Big pop for this. And hey, better than 50/50 odds he will actually show up at the proceedings, which is more than you can say for the headline name. I might have put the man who shall not be named in before him, but you can’t argue with Hida too vehemently.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back from commercial and a battered and bruised Andy speaks directly to the camera. He says he has had enough of Promo. Ever since MBE started up again he has been the talk of the show. He wants everyone to believe that he is the true world champion, that he is the brightest star in MBE. He’s nothing but a walking joke. He had his chance to stake a real claim to the world title and he got swept right out of the tournament. So he decided to screw with his shot at the Big Gold Belt. He’s been chasing that belt for seven years, and the fact that a cheap punk like Promo took his chance from him makes him sick. But he is going to remedy that. At Total Elimination they will go one on one, and just like he beat the crap out of Promo’s buddy, AJ Cirrus and ran him out of MBE, he’ll do the same to the so-called Underground Icon. And then, finally, MBE can move out from under the shadow of frauds like Promo.
QH4
It’s time for the first of our Title Tourney semifinal matches, pitting Justin Evitable against Duchess. If you are just dropping by, that is not a misprint. Duchess is out first, and she gets a very warm welcome from the MBE faithful. It’s hard to believe that Duchess was in the first ever match in MBE history, and now seven years later she sits on the precipice of a world title shot. Which I believe would be her first ever. She has certainly earned it, though, going through a litany of big names to get here. Justin was sort of a career journeyman, consistently inconsistent, though always a good talker. He has been rock solid since coming back, though, and the hook up with Yori seems to have rejuvenated his career. Insert your own drug joke there, I guess. He comes out in his old school gear and with the Singapore Cane, a nice touch.
Justin offers a handshake to start, but Duchess is having none of it. Crowd doesn’t like that, but granted, Justin did just drop her on her head two weeks ago, I’d be a little leery too. Collar and elbow and Justin grabs a hammerlock and rides Duchess to the mat, he transitions to a headlock, Duchess headscissors out, pops up and grabs an arm drag. She holds onto the arm bar and grounds Justin. Justin tries to roll out, but Duchess is waiting for him with another arm drag. Justin bails.
Back in the ring and Justin grabs a single leg. He takes Duchess down and controls the leg, back to the headlock and this time he deftly avoids the head scissors. Duchess rolls him onto his back for a one count, but Justin rolls back, right into a Duchess head scissors. This time Justin is ready and avoids the arm drag and adds a leg trip. That gets one as Duchess quickly pops out, but finds herself back in a headlock. Obviously, we are going long.
Justin works the headlock for a while, and the two work some standard sequences out of it, with Justin refusing to let go. Duchess finally frees herself and sends Justin into the ropes. He shoulder blocks the first lady of MBE to the mat and hits the ropes again, the two criss cross and Justin hits a nice dropkick, and it’s Duchess’s turn to take a breather. I like that the two are taking pains not to make an early mistake here. Back in and Justin is on her in a flash, laying in the kicks. She tries to roll back out, but Justin picks her up and whips her off the ropes, she ducks a clothesline, but eats a back elbow from the true face, spinning leg drop from Justin gets a short two count.
Suplex drops Duchess back to that mat, but a knee drop misses. Duchess catches Justin with a short dropkick, driving him into the corner. Duchess whips him to the near turnbuckle, but Justin reverses it and tries to follow with a jumping double knee. Duchess deftly moves out of the way, though, and Justin’s knees crash into the post and he goes over the ropes to the apron. Duchess dropkicks Justin’s bruised knee and Justin drops off the apron to the floor, driving his face into the apron. Ouch. That sucker snapped back hard. Justin is clearly dazed. Duchess heads up top….HURICANRANA TO THE OUTSIDE! Nice. Both are down and to commercial we go.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back and our combatants are back in the ring. Duchess has Justin in a leglock, working over his injured knee. A replay shows us Duchess hitting a slingshot elbow drop on Justin’s leg. Justin makes the ropes to force a break, but his leg is clearly giving him trouble. He tries to fight back, but Duchess goes low to the leg and then rolls into a schoolboy, Justin escapes at two. Justin needs the rope to pull himself up this time, but does manage to duck a baseball slide dropkick from Duchess, who slides out of the ring. She grabs Justin’s legs, knocking him to the canvas. She pulls him to the outside, but he hooks he immediately catches her with a Euro uppercut when he lands on the floor. Duchess backs into the barricade, and Justin takes a moment to regain his balance. He charges after Duchess, but she moves out of the way, sending Justin crashing shoulder first into the barricade. Duchess goes for a Dragon Screw on the floor, but Justin catches her with an enzuigiri from his good leg.
QH5
Justin breaks the ten count from the ref and limps his way to the top, but it takes him too long and Duchess is up on the apron. They exchange rights and Justin is in a very precarious position. Duchess goes low behind the ref’s back and Justin lands crotch first on the turnbuckle. Duchess heads in ring and pulls Justin off the turnbuckle with a nasty looking high angle neck breaker. That gets a 2.9 right there. Back to the knee as Justin tries desperately to block a figure four. Whoooo! There it is. Justin is in a world of pain as the crowd chants “Please Don’t Tap.” Duchess gets a few two counts off the hold, but Justin still has some vim and vigor left. He tries to turn the hold over, but Duchess isn’t budging. Justin tries to reach her, but the First Lady of MBE puts him back down with an eye rake.
Justin is fading now and the ref checks on him. One hand drop…two hand drops….The True Face is up! He rolls Duchess over! Duchess is in trouble. Oh, she rolls through and makes the ropes. Justin gets up gingerly as Duchess stomps on his knee. Duchess fires back with some elbows and uppercuts. Duchess takes a running start, but Justin explodes and catches her with a spinebuster as he collapses in agony. Justin is up first and he whips Duchess into the corner. He limps over with a turnbuckle clothesline. Justin mounts the turnbuckles and lays in the fisticuffs as the crowd counts along. Duchess cuts them off at eight though, as she elbows the back of Justin’s knee and the True Face drops down in agony. Duchess charges, but gets caught by a nasty looking T-Bone Suplex. Duch got dropped right on her head, there. Justin crawls over, but only gets two. He shakes some life back into his leg and looks for the SKEETBOARD. Ooh Duchess ducks. Justin hits the mat hard. Maybe a miscalculation by the Rated R Popstar there. Duchess grabs the Ankle lock! Justin is screaming bloody murder. Is he gonna tap….No! he makes the ropes. Duchess is unimpressed and sets the beleaguered True Face on the top turnbuckle. She is looking for a top rope Dragon Screw.
Justin is kicking with all his might to free himself. Finally desperation sends him to the eyes and Duchess backs up to get her vision back. Justin leaps into action with a Jumping DDT! DUCHESS GOES SPLAT! Justin covers. No! Too close to the ropes! Duchess escapes. Justin is on fumes now. He’s looking for the After Party! His leg gives out! Duchess on top! Only Two! Duchess is stalking Justin now. Chop Block! Duchess going for the ankle lock again. Justin kicks her off, Duchess hits the ropes. Justin grabs a small package! No! Duchess escapes again! Duchess looking for a superkick, Justin ducks. SKEETBOARD! Duchess is down, but Justin is in a world of pain. He finally makes the cover. 2.99! The crowd is out of breath. Justin may be out of options. The True Face is heading up top. TOP ROPE SKEETBOARD! HE MISSES! DUCHESS HAS GOT THE ANKLE LOCK! Justin is in big trouble now. Duchess has him in the center of the ring. Justin is in unbridled agony. He’s tapping…No! He rolls Duchess over in a Victory Roll! Crap, THAT’S THREE! IT’S OVER! JUSTIN IS ONTO THE FINALS!
WINNER: JUSTIN EVITABLE (19:06- Small Package)
The crowd explodes for a hyooooge win for The True Face. Justin rolls to the floor and tries to get some feeling back in his leg. Duchess argues with the ref over the speed and exact amount of the count. Justin celebrates with the fans, and he seems as in shock as the fans. Great match though, with rock solid psych.
Up to Biff Bentley in the MBE control room and he runs down our Total Elimination card. Justin is the first finalist and he will face the winner of Jogi/Doc in the main event. Promo meets Andy in one on one action and the Lot will challenge The Billies and Jimmy Donovan for the Tag Titles in an Elimination match. Well, it’s nice they got an elimination match on the card. Pretty stacked line-up when you include the HoF ceremony. This is gonna be a huge show for MBE, not make or break, but it could decide the direction and success of the fed for the proximate future.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH6
We are in a darkened parking lot behind the arena with a nervous and probably inebriated Yori. He dashes a flashlight around in the darkness, and it finally stops on the visage of Ayako Yamada. Yori gives a bit of a yelp and backs up against the wall. Ayako is very happy Yori came. Yori claims that she's not a three-breasted naked Thai hooker like she said in the note she left on his office door. Ms. Yamada says that may be true, but she knew he wouldn't come if she asked. Yori says that is true, because he has had bad luck with the Yamada daughters, and Ayako is scary. Ayako says Yori is just afraid of women in power, but Yori disagrees, as will any number of his S+M mistresses. Ayako is a little distressed at this, but keeps up the act. She says that if Yori wants a woman to dominate him, she's just the one. Yori thinks this is a great idea, and the exact reason why he invented his tearaway business suit. And there it goes. Fortunately the camera stays above waist level. Hmm, I think those nipple piercings are new. Ayako says, wait one minute stud, I need you to sign this. Yori innocently asks what it is. Ayako says it is like a prenuptial agreement, only for paternity. She knows how often Yori gets his with paternity suits, so she took the liberty of drawing up an agreement not to sue if he accidentally knocks her up. Yori is smitten and says Ayako thinks of everything. He hastily signs the documentation. Yori is about to consummate the agreement, but stops and asks if Ayako is doing this to get back at her sister for something. Ayako thinks for a moment, and says, 'a little bit, probably.' Yori is okay with that, and tosses Ayako onto the hood of the Yugo. Thankfully, the camera pans away from the 'action.'
Poor, poor Yori. Somehow I don't think that was a paternity suit waiver.
Back to action of the wrestling kind, as Larry the Luddite is on his way to ringside. His daughter gets into it with the Lot fans at ringside, who call her all manner of British slang that I don't understand. Larry offers to give them a what for, and I ponder whether MBE should have ran out the Computer Geek/Technophobe match this quickly. The portly Browser joins the fray, and he almost has real ring gear now. I guess they couldn't transfer enough funds from Yugo maintenance and wall reconstruction this week. Browser, so hard not to call him Webby, takes the early action as Larry is still distracted by the Lot's Lot. Browser hits his really nice dropkick, but realizes he is out of actual wrestling moves, so just tries the dropkick again. Larry sidesteps this one and stomps away on the poor technophile. The Luddite hits a nasty curb stomp variation, slamming Browser’s Jaw over the ring rope. Gnarly. That gets two.
Larry looks for the EMP, but Browser ducks and hits a teardrop suplex. He looks as surprised as anyone. He heads up top and hits a top rope dropkick as the ring shakes a bit. Ooh, Luddite is out in the nick of time. Browser looks for the Spam Stopper but Larry dumps him on his back. Bitty hands him a particularly garish looking chain, which the Larry hides in ihs tights. Browser misses a charge and Larry hits a clothesline. He goes for the Circuit Breaker, but Browser kicks his way free and hits a DDT. That gets two. He goes for another teardrop suplex, but Larry conks him with the chain and lands on top. Only two! Bitty is irate! Larry is annoyed! He sets for another EMP attempt and this time Larry nails it. Browser is down, and that gets the three.
WINNER: LARRY THE LUDDITE (6:52- EMP)
Nice little match, worked smartly within the competitor's limitations. Bitty's voice is grating, but she is certainly an energetic second.
Doc Silver is walking.
Jogi Fresh is walking.
Our main event is on the horizon.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH7
It’s time to decide who will face Justin Evitable for the MBE World Heavyweight Title. In other news, hell just froze over. Doc Silver is out first, and he brings Dority, the “severed head of ROBOYORI” and Greenie with him, not to mention his general disgust for the MBE faithful. Jogi is out next with the Entourage. It’s getting crowded at ringside. Some jawing goes on and Senior Referee Lance Thunder LAYS DOWN THE LAW! He sends everyone back to the locker room, no ifs ands or buts. The “severed head” gets to stay for some reason. Doc cries foul and claims Yori got to the good official. Lance is having none of it and tells Doc to get his ass in the ring. Doc stalls for a while, as is his wont, but finally rolls into the ring, and we get the proceedings underway.
Jogi stalks Doc and throws some jabs. Doc wants none of this boxing garbage, though, and every time Jogi gets to close, Doc ducks into the ropes. If Jogi is feeling any ill effects on his arm from last week, he hasn’t shown it thus far. Doc tries for the SHOOT! (something you’d think he’d be better versed in….ZING) but Jogi sprawls and Doc is forced to try and pull Jogi into his guard. Hmmm, looks like Doc caught an MMA event or two in between stints at the Vegas poker tables. Jogi just laughs and tells Doc to get up off his ass. Jogi shows Doc how it is done, taking Doc down with a clinch and then a leg trip. Jogi prepares to rain down some blows, but Doc grabs the bottom rope and then points to his head. Perhaps he is suggesting Jogi hit him there, no, he is probably just drawing attention to his keen intelligence. Jogi throws some leg kicks now, drawing a wince from Doc. Doc is all, **** this MMA ****, and hits his ye olde leaping eye poke. He doubles Jogi over with a knee to the gut and knocks His Freshness to the mat with an axe handle. Some probably not Nevada Athletic Commission approved stomping commences.
Irish whip and Doc catches Jogi with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Ooh, Doc flexing the old moveset. He grinds his forearm into Jogi’s face on the pin attempt. Only gets two. Doc drops some hard elbows and then delivers the always vicious boot scrape. Jogi hasn’t gotten anything going yet. Doc preens a bit, drawing the ire of the fans. He hits an inverted atomic drop and bounces off the ropes, but walks right into a belly-to-belly suplex from Jogi. Jogi is a wee bit pissed perhaps. Doc gets up, but quickly eats a powerslam from The Fresh One. Jogi whirls right into an armbar and Doc is clamoring for the ropes. They’ve done a good job of getting that move over as a do or die situation, but I’d like to see someone tap to it once in a while.
Jogi continues his assault on poor Doc, peppering his opponent with a flurry of jabs and leg kicks as Doc tries to find refuge. Northern Lights Suplex gets two. Jogi wastes no time going for THE FRESHNESS, but Doc kicks his way free and knocks Jogi down with a dropkick. Jogi is up first though and looks for a spear, but Doc dodges and Jogi posts himself. Ooh, looks like that arm is still a little tender. Doc smells blood and wraps the arm around the ropes in a hammerlock; judiciously using his five count from the Ref Thunder. Single Arm DDT gets two, and Doc switches into a Fujiwara. Jogi is comfortable on the mat, though, and uses his strength to bridge out and roll through the hold. He pulls Doc into his guard and immediately works for a Triangle. Doc responds by dropping a knee on Jogi’s groin. Ouch. Doc goes back to work on the arm, dropping a knee and grabbing a short arm scissors. Jogi has been studying his old Backlund tapes, though and pulls out Bob’s old counter, dropping Jogi to the mat. Doc makes the mistake of dropping his hands and walks right into a desperation haymaker from Jogi. Doc drops like a sack of potatoes, but Jogi is nursing his arm and is too hurt to cover. And it’s commercial time.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH8
Back to action and Jogi is laying into Doc in the corner with the stomps. He hits a running dropkick, but is still favoring the arm a lot. No replay, I am hurt. How will I ever know what transpired? Jogi whips Doc off the ropes and hits a leaping clothesline with his good arm that nearly beheads poor Doc. That gets a long two count. Jogi hoists Doc for a Death Valley Driver or something like that. We will never know, as Doc slips out the back and hits a half nelson bulldog on the bad arm, he moves right into an arm bar from there, but Jogi is able to make the ropes before too much damage can be done. Doc steps up his game now, hitting a fisherman’s suplex for two.
Doc posts Jogi and wraps his arm around the turnbuckle a few times, with gusto. Jogi flops back in the ring and Doc quickly goes for a cover. That gets two. Doc looks for his Ace’s Full Stunner but Jogi pushes him off into the ropes and catches him with a big German on his way back. Both men are down and the ref is administering a standing ten count. Jogi is up first and fires off some weak right hands before switching to his left jab. His right arm is pretty much useless now, so he adds some headbutts. His flurry of strikes sends Doc reeling, but Jogi can’t pull off The Freshness one armed and Doc gets his opening for The Ace’s Full Stunner. That gets a long two and Doc is a little perturbed that he will have to continue to wrestle. He tries for The River, but Jogi elbows out and hits a roaring elbow as Doc turns around. His arm is not happy at that move, but Jogi manages to make the cover. Can’t hook the leg, though, and Doc slips out at two.
Jogi crushes Doc with a huge combo and Doc crumples in a heap as Jogi leans on the ropes for support and tries to shake some feeling back into his arm. The ref administers his ten count on Doc, Doc is on dream street, but smartly rolls to the floor to stop that count and buy him some more time. Doc must be concussed; cause he thinks talking to the ‘severed head of ROBOYORI’ is a good idea. Hmmm, he is not happy to find out that it is just a giant paperweight. Jogi follows him out as the ref implores the to get back inside. Doc grabs the paperweight and threatens to hit Jogi with it, the Ref drops down and takes the weight from Doc, but he uses the distraction to kick Jogi in the nuts. He rolls The Fresh One back in, but the nutshot only gets two. Jogi is one pissed off man now. He peppers Doc with shots, but the arm just gives out on him and Doc drives Jogi into the corner with a shoulder tackle, unfortunately Lance Thunder is between them and the turnbuckle and his lateral movement hasn’t been the same since the hip surgery. REF DOWN! Well, Doc knows what to do now and scrambles for his paperweight. He takes a swing at Jogi, but Jogi ducks and the weight drops harmlessly to the mat. Jogi goes for the Freshness and gets Doc up, but Doc counters with a DDT out of midair. RIGHT ON THE WEIGHT! OOH! Jogi got his bell rung there and he is split open bad. Doc quickly disposes of the evidence. Come on now, you have to be kidding me. Doc rouses the ref. THE RIVER! Yeesh, that damn Doc Silver is in the finals, ****ing Eh.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (17:48- The River)
I feel for Jogi, he deserved this one bad, but Doc just seems to find a way to win, the bastard. Doc celebrates like a madman, telling the paper weight that they did it. Hmm, he might want to get that bump on his head examined. The Entourage comes down to tend to Jogi, who is still bleeding bad. Doc manages to avoid them and make his way to the ramp where he bumps into JUSTIN EVITABLE! Wham goes the Singapore Cane and Doc is left writhing on the rampway. Justin leans in real close and tells him that his revenge on Doc will be doubly sweet, because it will leave him MBE Champion.
Sign off, logo, fade out.
THE FINAL WORD
Solid show from top to bottom, less backstage stuff this week, but that’s to be expected in a PPV run up. I don’t know where the Ayako/Yori thing is going, but it can’t be going anywhere good for The Excellence of Sexecution. The PPV looks like a doozy. Doc/Justin may not have been the finals we would have predicted but there is a lot of hate there and it should be a solid match as both are underrated in the ring. Lot/Billies finally get their hands on each other for the blowoff match and I am expecting a transcendently fun brawl, and Andy and Promo may just kill each other. Total Elim is pretty much a must buy for any MBE fans out there and any people curious about what the fed has to offer.
As for this week’s show. Three good, long matches gets an easy thumbs up from me. I would like to see the new guys get some more time, but they should get their chance at the PPV. Now for this week’s awards
THE REWIND REWARDS
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Duchess v. Justin Evitable
SPOT OF THE NIGHT: Larry the Luddite’s curb stomp
LINE OF THE NIGHT: Dr. P: “There are more Brits on this show than an episode of The Office. You know, the British one.”