Yori Yakamo jr
League Member
The Wrestling Chronicle's WNW Report for 1/31/07
Matt Burke, reporting
We are back in chilly Binghamton, NY for the most recent edition of WNW. Signs are not good for MBE coming off a financially unsuccessful Southern tour, but they are back up the road from the friendly confines and to a sold out crowd of about 3,000. Cash flow issues abound still, though, as PbPro has been reevaluating how much money they want to sink into MBE. Several wrestlers were basically told to go home for a bit, since they couldn't afford to pay them until things clear up. I wouldn't say the vultures are circling, but MBE needs a bounce back show badly, especially after losing a Wednesday to ye olde dog show. Evolution was a rock solid effort, but that impression is probably built mostly upon the strength of the cage match and the main.
Credits. Lights. Crowd Shots. We are off!
QH1
Till is rudely interrupted as he runs down tonight card by Irishred's theme. The Midwestern backstabber comes out with the rest of PbPro. He is getting it big time from the crowd. Red just shakes his head as Promo tries to cover Red's ears so he doesn't have to hear the boos. FF grabs a mic and tells the crowd to shut up and show some respect for the Two-time PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion. Red has proved himself to Freakfish and he's proved himself to these simps and finally things are looking up for MBE. Red takes the mic and says that he understands that there are those in the crowd and in the locker room that don't understand why he joined with PbPro. He did it for the fans. He did it for the locker room. He is the only man that can save MBE. The real MBE. When interlopers like Yori and Yamada are taken care of, he will be the man to bring back the MBE of Dumi and DocAwesome, of BobbyR and Spoiler, of the Fat and Sexy One. The crowd seems unimpressed with his name-dropping, but of course pops for the Fat One. In this group they have the PbPro Quintuple Crown title, and the REAL MBE World Heavyweight Champion, a man who knows the meaning of the word 'champion.' A man who would never stoop to wrestling a midget. And soon, the tag titles will be there's too, after their unfortunate and highly dubious setback at Evolution.
With that FF grabs the mic and says what happened in the tag titles match at Evolution was a disgrace. What kind of official blatantly misses Cowboy Jimmy Donovan's interference? A referee is supposed to be fair and impartial. Obviously, MBE referees can't be trusted to do their jobs the right way. So as of tonight, they are all fired! Whoa! Big boos for that. Wait a minute! That's….Lance Thunder's music? The senior MBE official comes out mic in hand and says he's got his union card, he's got kids to feed, and there is no way FF is firing him and his staff. They do the best job they can every week, and unlike SOME officials, won't be bullied by FF and A. FF says he can wipe his ass with his union card. Take it up with the judge, this is a foreign-held company now, and he's out of a job. But if he wants to work for MBE so bad he can put his tights back on next week and wrestle Promo. Lance says FF knows he had to retire because of his neck, and the doctors say he can't wrestle anymore. FF says, well the doctors say, catch the next bus out of Binghamton, cause he's out of luck. Either way, he and his staff are on the bench this week, so they can watch how real referees, PbPro referees do their job. Consider it some on the job training. With that FF tosses the mic to the ground and PbPro exits.
Backstage, the Biffster is with Duchess, and she knows she has a reputation for just taking things as they come. She can tag with anyone, she’ll wrestle anyone, she’s always been a team player, but everyone knows that she got a raw deal at Evolution, and she’s not going to sit by and wait for the next opportunity. She’s demanding a rematch against Doc Silver. She doesn’t care if it is tonight or at Zero Hour, she is still the number one contender…but hold on, here’s Andy Gilkison. He says with all due respect to Duchess she has had quite enough shots at the title. Andy has beaten everyone put in front of him and he dispatched Promo WITH AUTHORITY~! At Evolution. So Duchess will just have to get at the back of the line. Duchess says she’s beaten Andy before and if he wants to get in between her and Doc, she’ll have to take him out. Cause gosh, it’s not like she likes him or anything….but wait a minute now, it’s a midget! He says before they go arguing about title shots they should ask him first, because he gets title shots whenever he wants, because he is just that good a wrestler. And after he beats Doc this week for the world title they might as well just retire the belt, because no one is getting it off his diminutive waist. Andy asks if Professor Tremendous is using MBE as midget day care now. The midget is not amused. He doesn’t find anything funny, except the fact that Andy thinks he can hang with an animal like himself. He flexes some more and says Andy can’t comprehend the amount of wrestling knowledge he has in his brain. It is incalculable, yet still smaller than the size of his penis. Which is very big, and not just by midget standards. The midget flexes some more and excuses himself to go have sex with his very hot girlfriend. Much hotter than Duchess. Duchess can watch though. But no touching. She might stain him with her lack of hotness.
Well, that was…surreal. Who is giving Doc all this power, seriously? I know their our axes to grind, but good lord.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH2
Finally some wrestling, as it's time for some MBE vs PbPro action here on WNW, and what other kind of action can you expect really, Andrew Gilkison is out first to a thunderous ovation as two MBE originals are set to go at it, unfortunately for Gilkison this isn't going to be any friendly respectful matchup as IrishRed comes down to ringside, not exactly the ovation he is used to recieving from this crowd. Well, you may as well have smacked a baby, you'll get the same crowd reaction as this. A lot of history between these two and Andy also has a lot of history getting a double-u over Red, maybe with Red's new "advantage" and affiliation he may just have what it takes to keep Andy down for a three count. Slow start, mostly because these two men are staring each other's eyes out. Hopefuly Yori had enough money in the bank to provide proper vision insurance, and with someone who uses the eye poke as a signature move, I'm sure Yori didn't pass it up. Andy's blood boils quickly as he starts to unload a few rights on Red, Red is back on Andy with rights of his own, punches are being traded but Andy ducks a haymaker and gets behind Red with a takedown, Andy is quickly straddling Red's back and slapping the back of his head before getting to his feet, crowd seemed to like the humiliating tactic but Red, on his knees, not a very happy camper.
Red is back to his feet and they both stare each other down and circle before they tie up, Red with the advantage and over to the turnbuckle, ref tries to intervene but Red gets a cheapshot right hand to the face of Andy as the ref is trying to seperate the two, Andy checks his jaw and luckily its still there, don't count Red with those fists, those things landed him some hard time. Red takes the advantaged of the slightly dazed Andy and begins rocking knees to the midsection of Andrew Gilkison, repeat knees to Andy has him sitting in the corner and Red quickly puts the boot to the throat of Andy and milks the four count for everything it is worth before breaking the choke. Red backs away and gives the PbPro ref the international symbol of "I didn't do anything wrong", I wonder if he did the same thing to the judge in previous court visits. Red is right back on Andy who's still recovering from the choke with another as The ref counts to four again, Red stops at two and begins the curb stomp on Andy who is on the ass end of a boot in an unforgiving corner. Red stops his assault to face the crowd and point to Andy, I suppose he's trying to say that it's his time to beat Andy and lead MBE to the promised land, but I'm no Body Language Analyzer. Red gets a head of steam and tries to implant a running knee into Andy but at the last second Andy dives out of the way behind Red sending his knee crashing into the turnbuckle, Andy grabs Red's waist and a big german suplex! Both men are down but Andy and Red get up at the same time and it's back to the fist-a-cuffs as they trade blows. Red throws a right, crowd goes Boo! Andy throws a right, Crowd goes Yeah!...Boo!, Yeah!, Boo!, Yeah!, block, Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Block from Red, Kick to the gut from Andy and DDT! Two count for that. Andy gets Red back on his feet, Irish Whip and Cross Body, another two count.
Andy begins a ground offense and starts to lay the boots down on Red, Andy is on the second turnbuckle and goes for a knee but Red has it spotted and rolls out of the way letting Andy meet empty canvas. Red is back on his feet and sees an opening as he begins to let the boots find the knee Andy was about to drive to his head. Red grabs Andy's leg, lifts it up and sends his knee crashing back to the mat, Andy is gripping his knee now as Red drags him back to his feet, a couple punches to the head, chops, kicks, some more punches, rather diverse selection coming from a brawler, firemans carry into a big slam to the mat. That only gets two. Red bring Andy back to his feet and a Samoan Drop, another two count. Andy won't stay down with just that, we've seen that as recently as...well...Sunday. It'll take a tazer, two more men, some sleeping pills, tear gas, a steel chair, a cricket bat...well...I think you get the point. Andy is fighting back a little as he is brought back up to his feet, eye rake from Red ends the offensive and a big sidewalk slam follows. Red follows up with a blatant choke with his forearm as The ref counts to four again, Red pushes the ref away and goes back to the choke, The ref grabs on Red and drags him off Andy and begins jawing at Red that if he does that again, he's getting DQ'ed. Not smart, Red, you want that win over Andy right? Choking will win a dispute at a bar but not in this ring. Well...I guess it sometimes can but not in this case. Red makes his way back to Andy, but Andy grabs the legs of Red right out from under him and slingshots him into the turnbuckle! Springboard Cutter! NO! Red deposits Andy outside the ring and onto the mat! Commercials on the way!
Commercial Break
QH3
We're back to an IrishRed advantage on the outside as Andy is being dragged by the hair by red and into the post, picks Andy up by waist and deposits him neck first on the guardrail. Andy must suffering whiplash and a crushed larynx with that, The ref is telling the two to get in the ring or they'll both be counted out, not wanting to win by countout, Red obliges and throws Andy back in the ring and follows him in, Andy catches some wind and gets to stompin on Red. Couple fists to the back of the head and bounces off the ropes with a big dropkick to the face of Red, Andy on top but only for two. Andy looks to be powering up! Andy Angry! Andy on the top rope looking for something high risk! Red is up and begging an assault of punches to Andy's abdomen, Andy with the eye rake and HYOOOOOOOGE TORNADO DDT! TWO COUNT! Almost another W on the column for Andy over Red. Andy gets Red up, snap suplex, holds onto the goods and rolls and another snap suplex, followed by a third rolling in for the cover and only another two count. That Red's a tough bastard for sure, can't keep him down unless you've got the fuzz and firearms. Rear chinlock keeps Red down for a bit, but another eye rake releases that as Red gets back to his feet. Head butt, nose bite, where's Mike Tyson's agent, belly to belly suplex, Andy down, Andy kicks out at two. See saw match going on here as neither is willing to give up a big advantage, Red rolls Andy over and quickly delivers some nasty kidney shots before driving the knee to the back of Andy's head and grabbing Andy's leg for a single leg crab. Andy is veeeeeeerrry close to the ropes and is reaching for it with his free leg, reaching...reeeeaching...his toe manages to find the bottom rope and The ref calls for the break! Red is none too happy about that and is almost ready to take that frustration out on The ref as he breaks the hold.
Red and The ref go round 2 on the jaw jacking, Red is taking way too long on this dispute as Andy comes up behind him with a German Suplex! Bridge! Two count only! Close matchup so far as Red gets up first and takes Andy's head off with a big clothesline.
Red steps out of the ring and onto the floor, looks like his temper is getting the best of him as he is taking a chair from ringside and intends to use it unmercifuly against Andy, I don't think this is going to break the streak here, especialy if The ref still has one good eye and he is using it as he grabs it from Red before he brings it into the ring and tosses it aside, more words are exchanged before Red goes to Plan B and gets back to Andy, shoulder to the midsection of Red, a little backfire on the plan as Andy lays in an assault of shoulders followed by fists, irish whip into the turnbuckle, huge splash! Bulldog! Red is dazed, Andy hits a piledriver and that could be it! Andy is going for the chair! The ref has his hands tied with this matchup and quickly gets in Andy's face about the chair warning him not to use it in the match. Andy is not obliging and is still threataning. There's stirring going on in the crowd....
It's Justin Evitable! He's come out of the stands and is climbing the turnbuckle! Whatever it is he is about to do I think it might have something to do with Red's turn at MBE Evolution and costing him the PbPro Quintuple Crown Championship, Andy sees Justin and tosses the chair over to him as Justin catches it, The ref finishes his speil and it takes long enough not to notice Justin and the chair on the top rope, Justin launches himself into a Shooting Star...into an Arabian Skullcrusher!!! OH MY GOD! IrishRed's head just got crunched under that chair and Justin's leg! I think Justin just lost another two years off his life from that move but it was most impressive nonetheless, and the crowd definitely shows their appreciation for his utter insanity with a rousing "HOLY ****" chant. Justin is out of the ring as Red is grasping his head and stumbling about the ring, Andy is quickly on him, GILKMISSION! Red has nowhere to go! The ref is under him asking for his submission, Red holds on for dear life trying to find ropes but there are none around and they are miles away from him...Red takes the hold for a few more seconds but the pain from Justin's interference and the Gilkmission combined is more than enough for Red as he slaps the mat, ref calls the bell! Andy is the winner!
WINNER: ANDREW GILKISON (22:11, 19:58 aired: Gilkimission)
QH4
Andy doesn’t relinquish the hold though, ready to teach Red a lesson about betrayal but the PbPro group is quickly on the scene after witnessing Justin's interference, Justin has just gotten back up to his feet on the outside and tries to hold off the contingent, trading blows with A, Promo is not far behind him swinging some steel and finds the back of Justin's head dropping him like a ton of bricks to the ground, that’s another year off Justin's life, Promo picks up Justin as A lands some sick kicks cracking Justin's skull. Ravage is now in the ring as Andy goes for a dropkick on the big beast but finds himself getting swatted down, Andy is up but finds himself in a gorilla press, Ravage walks over to the ropes and deposits Andy into the announce table! PbPro is in the ring and cleaning up and showing their muscle again but not before Andy gets another nod over Red with a little help from Justin Evitable, and IrishRed is probably none too happy about that and I'm sure he'll be quite upset after he shakes off the birds flying over his head.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Backstage with el Midgeto, who is with his incredibly hot girlfriend. The midget is doing one-armed push-ups for some reason. Biff wants to know how the midget plans to beat Doc. The midget says no man or beast can stand the pure wrath of his signature move….The Book, oh boy. Everyone falls before the might of the book. This is such a Doc Silver production. He will walk out champion, and if he doesn’t, well, he doesn’t give up so easily. After all, he is a legend in this business he can walk into any company he wants and demand a title shot, and they’ll have to give it to him. But it doesn’t matter, cause he will do whatever it takes to come out champion. Hooooo boy. Who greenlighted this monstrosity? A bunch of agents and officials rush by and Biff has a nose for news, as he and Chaz follow them to Fusenshoff’s dressing room where the Canadian half of the Icons is laying on the floor unconscious, looks like he has been laid out something fierce. Ace says he came to get him for his match with Jake McCody, and found him like this. Intrigue~! Ace doesn’t want to name names, but he thinks it might be Jimmy Donnovan. After all, he seems to be doing a lot of dirty work for the Thrillbillies. The Billies arrive with Jimmy and Jimmy protests his innocence. Jake tries to calm Jimmy down, but Hoss isn’t buying Jimmy’s excuse. Jimmy says he may love hookers, and a good game of high stakes strip poker, but he isn’t no cheat. FF begs to differ, and who let this bastard in here? FF says that if this was the Old West, they would have hung Jimmy as a horse thief by now. Jimmy doesn’t take kindly to that and tosses his hat at FF, but Fuse is starting to come to. Biff tries to get the identity of his attacker, and Fuse fingers Jimmy.
Ace is livid and goes after Jimmy, with a horde of security getting in between them. Jimmy tries to defend himself to the Billies but Hoss slaps him. Jimmy looks quite forlorn. He tries to talk to Jake, but the Thrillbilly is having none of it, and tells Jimmy he best get out of here. Jimmy looks lower than a snake’s belly, dagnabit. FF seems amused by the whole affair. Biff asks FF what he is smiling about, but the Fish says that if Biff wants press access to PbPro, he has to talk to his agent, and hands him a business card.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH5
It’s time for our Egofu…I mean World Heavyweight Championship match. The midget comes out first with his valet. And she is seriously smoking, let me say. The midget flexes for some people at ringside, and his girlfriend just can’t keep her hands off him….ick. The midget gets in the ring. He’s actually getting some cheers. I guess the fans really don’t care who gets the belt off Doc. Or they just have no taste, but to suggest that would probably be mean. And heeeere’s Doc. He gets a very chilly reception, which the crowd chanting “Let’s go…” well, you know who. Scary thought.
Doc gets in the ring, and the midget gets on the stick. The midget tells Doc to hold on, we do this his way or the hard way. And the hard way is still his way. But EXTREME! Extremely brilliant, that is. Doc says he doesn’t know where this midget is from (wink wink) but around these parts, Doc is the champion, and the midget, is…well, just a midget. The midget responds by biting Doc’s leg. Nice. Dr. Phantasmo calls this like this is the most important match in the history of wrestling, which adds an odd surrealism to the midget making out with his girlfriend while choking Doc over the bottom rope. Irish whip…well no, that doesn’t seem to unlikely, and the midget gets stomped down. The midget is selling his ribs something fierce. He steps on Doc’s foot and tries to bodyslam Doc, but his ribs HURT TOO MUCH. That’s some psychology right there, probably cause the midget tells us so. He bites Doc in the groin instead. That drops Doc to his knees and the midget dropkicks him.
He is about to take advantage, or something, but his girlfriend turns on him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle. She explains to the camera that she is actually the girlfriend’s twin sister who hates the midget, because he is just TOO SEXY, and she can’t have him, or something. Doc seems confused, as does our announce team. Doc slams the midget to the mat and hits a huge splash, but the midget kicks out at 2.9. He actually checks his watch to time the kick out at the most dramatic moment as Dr. P explains. This match is wrong on so many levels. Doc hits the Superkick, but the twin sister puts the midget’s foot on the rope to break the count. She says she had a change of heart, but here comes the real girlfriend, or something. CATFIGHT! This match has a little bit of everything. Clothes get ripped off and thankfully, the women do not start making out, which at least two people in the room with me predicted. Obviously the ref’s extensive PbPro training didn’t quite prepare him for this, as he seems quite flummoxed. The distraction gives the midget a chance to go under the ring for “The Book” which appears to be some encyclopedia-sized volume listed as “The Encyclopedia of Wrestling Genius.” How modest. He takes a mighty swing at Doc, but Doc superkicks the book back into the midget. The River follows, on the book of course, and Doc covers (with a liberal handful of tights, just because it’s Doc.) That’s three.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (7:42: The River)
Of course, we aren’t quite done with the festivities. Doc celebrates like he just won the Super Bowl, or at least a very large wager on the Super Bowl. The midget blindsides Doc with “The Book” and the two women unite to stomp on Doc with their heels as the midget directs them. A very angry Dan Dority comes down to break up the festivities and the midget gets on the mic to promise revenge next week, as the greatest story ever told marches on, or something. A million billion stars. Or not.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH6
We’re in Yamada’s office as he tries to make some sort of very important announcement with Yori and company still squatting in his office. Yori is figuring out how he can create a hybrid pasta/dildo maker, in a nice bit of corporate synergy, and fretting over his trip to Penn State. He misheard it as the State Pen, and he doesn’t want to spend any time in prison. He is a very delicate flower, or something. Justin says that a lot of great artists performed in prison, like Johnny Cash. Smitty tries to explain that it is a college, not a prison. No one seems to be listening. Yori postulates that maybe he should send the robot in his place. Smitty points out how well that worked in GTT6. Inside jokes abound, tonight on WNW. Yamada finally tells all of them to shut up. Yori asks where else he is supposed to have his Inner Sextum meeting. Yamada says Yori told him weeks ago he was hatching a brilliant plan to get his office back. Yori says he’ll get on it as soon as he figures out how to make this pasta maker spit out sex toys. Yamada finally throws them all out. He apologizes for the tomfoolery, okay Uncle Bill, and announces that due to Andy and Duchess’s respective performances at Evolution, he thinks both are deserving of the #1 contendership mantle, so the only way to decide who gets the title shot will be to settle it in the ring at WNW next week, with an MBE referee at the helm.
Back to ringside we go, as Jeffrey Roberts comes out for his match. Spectacular performance from Roberts at Evolution, and I think he could be the breakout star of 2007. Of course, I said that about Jock McCrunk, and we all know how that worked out. I’m like the kiss of death with my predictions. We can only hope that doesn’t help with Roberts, who is arguably already a star in his own right, though at a time when Smash Mouth was still a commercially viable musical act. Jimmy’s music plays for a while, no sign of Jimmy. No wait….here he is, and he looks about four sheets to the wind. No fake moonshine bottle this week, that look’s like Jim Bean. I see MBE is getting into the product placement game. Well, if they keep representing such upstanding brands, I have no qualms. Jimmy starts talking to the turnbuckle, thinking it is the ref, or Jake, or a hooker, it’s unclear. He’s got his arm around it as the ref is trying to get him instructions. Jimmy doesn’t want to be interrupted, so the ref just calls for the bell, and Jimmy gets slammed into his new best friend, via a Roberts corner leg lariat.
Jimmy is up and all ‘lemme at him’ but his haymakers miss by a mile and leave him easy pickings for a backdrop suplex from Roberts. Standing moonsault gets two. I guess Jimmy has some idea where he is, at least. Irish whip, but Jimmy drunkenly tumbles to the mat before reaching the ropes. Roberts is less than thrilled, and the crowd seems to agree with him. Roberts tries to pick up Jimmy, but the drunken cowboy fires some punches that manage to connect, and Roberts is staggered. Ah, never underestimate the strength of an angry drunk. Jimmy starts to do some sort of move, but either forgets how, or forgets what he is doing and just sort of drops Roberts awkwardly. He does know how to stomp Roberts in the face, though. Jimmy tries for a suplex, and actually follows through, but Roberts slips out in mid-move and lands behind Jimmy, a release dragon suplex follows and Jimmy is on dream street. Running Lyger Bomb puts Jimmy out of his misery.
WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS (4:41: Running Lyger Bomb)
Roberts is disgusted and continues an assault on the downed Donovan until he gets tired of it. No sign of the Billies to make the save either. Jimmy finally crawls over to his bourbon bottle and caresses it lovingly.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH7
Biff Bentley is in the control room to announce MBE Zero Hour, live on PPV, March 3rd in the Twin Cities. Already announced is The Thrillbillies v. The International Icons for the MBE World Tag Team Championship. Doc Silver will face the winner of Andy Gilkison and Duchess next week on WNW for the World Heavyweight Championship. Biff has a hot rumor about the PbPro Quintuple Crown Title Match, but you wil have to call the MBE Hotline for that info and more. 2.99 the first minute, 99 cents a minute afterwards.
Next we get a video package hyping MBE’s entrants into the Team Invitational Tournament, complete with cheesy eighties synth pop like they use to use on CBS for March Madness, a nice touch. Yori as a one seed, really now? I’d be scared of Red and Promo in the wide open Portland bracket, but anybody could come out of there. Lots of shots of Yori’s crotch. Obviously someone has let power over production go to his head.
Duchess is walking! Red and Promo are walking! Cockily! Our main event is next!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Main event tag action is on the horizon as Vinman introduces senior PbPro ref Kenji Yamaguchi to a chorus of boos. I smell shenanigans afoot. PbPro is out first and the boos (and garbage) continue to fly. Promo covers A’s ears, saying a true legend should never be booed by mere peons. A and Promo exchange pleasantries with the referee as Till gets all indignant like Till does so well. Duchess is out next and she waits at the end of the rampway for the True Face. Justin, of course, blows right back Duchess to get his hands on A. After a quick flurry of offense, the tide turns and PbPro beats him down as Duchess sighs and comes to the rescue.
QH8
Duchess springboards in with a dropkick that clears A from the ring and she ducks a lariat from Promo and hits a sweet looking lung blower. Justin regroups and adds a somersault senton and the match proper starts with Promo and Justin. Justin takes it to the real world champ with a spinning heel kick and a spinning leg drop. That gets two. Tag to Duchess and she stomps Promo down before adding a nice jumping knee. Back out to Justin for the tag team SYNERGY~! Double team backbreaker gets two. Justin hits the ropes, but FF is there to helpfully pull the top rope down for Justin, or not, as the True Face crashes to the floor.
A is on Justin in a flash and posts him into the steps. He is all helpful and stuff when Ref Yamaguchi looks over though, gently helping the True Face into the ring. Playing the role of Ricky Morton tonight…Justin Evitable. A tags in and stomps away on Justin. Then he stomps some more. He works over Justin’s back with a northern lights suplex (A bringing the high end stuff) and a camel clutch. Duchess makes the save, kicking A off, but Yamaguchi takes his time escorting Duchess out, leaving Justin to the wolves as Promo chokes The True Face in the corner, while A works Justin over with body shots. A double team stungun gets two, as Ref Yamaguchi gets back to work, after a coffee break or something. Powerslam from Promo gets two as well, and Justin is in bad shape.
Promo sets Justin for the Promoplex, but the True Face elbows out. He goes for the moonsault, but Promo bails. Justin lands on his feet, though, but it quickly removed from his feet by a springboard clothesline from A. A adds the punches to the prone Justin. Yamaguchi seems to be confused if there was a tag or not, but he lets the fellas play on, much to Duchess’s dismay. Yamaguchi listens to her protests, ignoring FF battering Justin with his briefcase while A chokes him over the bottom rope. Finally, Justin turns the tide, escaping a A suplex and shoving him into Promo on the apron. HOT TAG DUCHESS!
Duch is a house afire, dropping A with a jumping back elbow and superkicking Promo off the apron. Rana roll-up on A gets two. Duchess shoots in and gets a schoolboy, but Promo is there to break it up. PbPro combines for a double team brainbuster, but it’s Justin’s turn to make the save. FF is up on the apron and protest and down he goes as Justin drops him with a right hand much to the crowd’s delight. Promo takes the True Face out with a big time German though, and Duchess eats a spinebuster from A. A goes for the A bomb, but Duchess lands on her feet and goes for another superkick. A sidesteps and poor Ref Yamaguchi gets the business end. Seems like PbPro refs have the same glass jaw MBE ones do, cause he is out like a light. A knocks Duchess down with an axe bomber, but a double team with Promo goes horribly wrong and the Extreme Icon ends up on the floot SUPERKICK! A is down but there is no one to count the pin.
Wait, here comes Ref Thunder! He makes the count 2.9! A is out! FF is livid and gets in the ring and shoves Thunder to the mat. Thunder drops FF with a right hand and is stomping a mudhole in FF Promo makes the save, locking on the Fadeout. Think of Lance’s poor injured neck, ya bastard. Justin introduces a chair and wacks Promo, wacks FF, but gets it punched back in his face by A. Ref Yamaguchi is up and he is waving the match off.
NO CONTEST
That has little effect, of course, as the four continue to brawl! FF promises comeuppance to anyone who will listen, and we fade to black.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Non-finish in the main aside, a solid show with a lot of angle advancement. Outside of Red/Andy not a ton of wrestling or anything, but a nice job setting things in motion as we head towards Zero Hour.
Match of the Night- Red/Andy
Spot of the Night Justin’s plumb dumb shooting star legdrop
Line of the Night “Why won’t this pasta maker make dildos? It makes bagels.”- Yori
Matt Burke, reporting
We are back in chilly Binghamton, NY for the most recent edition of WNW. Signs are not good for MBE coming off a financially unsuccessful Southern tour, but they are back up the road from the friendly confines and to a sold out crowd of about 3,000. Cash flow issues abound still, though, as PbPro has been reevaluating how much money they want to sink into MBE. Several wrestlers were basically told to go home for a bit, since they couldn't afford to pay them until things clear up. I wouldn't say the vultures are circling, but MBE needs a bounce back show badly, especially after losing a Wednesday to ye olde dog show. Evolution was a rock solid effort, but that impression is probably built mostly upon the strength of the cage match and the main.
Credits. Lights. Crowd Shots. We are off!
QH1
Till is rudely interrupted as he runs down tonight card by Irishred's theme. The Midwestern backstabber comes out with the rest of PbPro. He is getting it big time from the crowd. Red just shakes his head as Promo tries to cover Red's ears so he doesn't have to hear the boos. FF grabs a mic and tells the crowd to shut up and show some respect for the Two-time PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion. Red has proved himself to Freakfish and he's proved himself to these simps and finally things are looking up for MBE. Red takes the mic and says that he understands that there are those in the crowd and in the locker room that don't understand why he joined with PbPro. He did it for the fans. He did it for the locker room. He is the only man that can save MBE. The real MBE. When interlopers like Yori and Yamada are taken care of, he will be the man to bring back the MBE of Dumi and DocAwesome, of BobbyR and Spoiler, of the Fat and Sexy One. The crowd seems unimpressed with his name-dropping, but of course pops for the Fat One. In this group they have the PbPro Quintuple Crown title, and the REAL MBE World Heavyweight Champion, a man who knows the meaning of the word 'champion.' A man who would never stoop to wrestling a midget. And soon, the tag titles will be there's too, after their unfortunate and highly dubious setback at Evolution.
With that FF grabs the mic and says what happened in the tag titles match at Evolution was a disgrace. What kind of official blatantly misses Cowboy Jimmy Donovan's interference? A referee is supposed to be fair and impartial. Obviously, MBE referees can't be trusted to do their jobs the right way. So as of tonight, they are all fired! Whoa! Big boos for that. Wait a minute! That's….Lance Thunder's music? The senior MBE official comes out mic in hand and says he's got his union card, he's got kids to feed, and there is no way FF is firing him and his staff. They do the best job they can every week, and unlike SOME officials, won't be bullied by FF and A. FF says he can wipe his ass with his union card. Take it up with the judge, this is a foreign-held company now, and he's out of a job. But if he wants to work for MBE so bad he can put his tights back on next week and wrestle Promo. Lance says FF knows he had to retire because of his neck, and the doctors say he can't wrestle anymore. FF says, well the doctors say, catch the next bus out of Binghamton, cause he's out of luck. Either way, he and his staff are on the bench this week, so they can watch how real referees, PbPro referees do their job. Consider it some on the job training. With that FF tosses the mic to the ground and PbPro exits.
Backstage, the Biffster is with Duchess, and she knows she has a reputation for just taking things as they come. She can tag with anyone, she’ll wrestle anyone, she’s always been a team player, but everyone knows that she got a raw deal at Evolution, and she’s not going to sit by and wait for the next opportunity. She’s demanding a rematch against Doc Silver. She doesn’t care if it is tonight or at Zero Hour, she is still the number one contender…but hold on, here’s Andy Gilkison. He says with all due respect to Duchess she has had quite enough shots at the title. Andy has beaten everyone put in front of him and he dispatched Promo WITH AUTHORITY~! At Evolution. So Duchess will just have to get at the back of the line. Duchess says she’s beaten Andy before and if he wants to get in between her and Doc, she’ll have to take him out. Cause gosh, it’s not like she likes him or anything….but wait a minute now, it’s a midget! He says before they go arguing about title shots they should ask him first, because he gets title shots whenever he wants, because he is just that good a wrestler. And after he beats Doc this week for the world title they might as well just retire the belt, because no one is getting it off his diminutive waist. Andy asks if Professor Tremendous is using MBE as midget day care now. The midget is not amused. He doesn’t find anything funny, except the fact that Andy thinks he can hang with an animal like himself. He flexes some more and says Andy can’t comprehend the amount of wrestling knowledge he has in his brain. It is incalculable, yet still smaller than the size of his penis. Which is very big, and not just by midget standards. The midget flexes some more and excuses himself to go have sex with his very hot girlfriend. Much hotter than Duchess. Duchess can watch though. But no touching. She might stain him with her lack of hotness.
Well, that was…surreal. Who is giving Doc all this power, seriously? I know their our axes to grind, but good lord.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH2
Finally some wrestling, as it's time for some MBE vs PbPro action here on WNW, and what other kind of action can you expect really, Andrew Gilkison is out first to a thunderous ovation as two MBE originals are set to go at it, unfortunately for Gilkison this isn't going to be any friendly respectful matchup as IrishRed comes down to ringside, not exactly the ovation he is used to recieving from this crowd. Well, you may as well have smacked a baby, you'll get the same crowd reaction as this. A lot of history between these two and Andy also has a lot of history getting a double-u over Red, maybe with Red's new "advantage" and affiliation he may just have what it takes to keep Andy down for a three count. Slow start, mostly because these two men are staring each other's eyes out. Hopefuly Yori had enough money in the bank to provide proper vision insurance, and with someone who uses the eye poke as a signature move, I'm sure Yori didn't pass it up. Andy's blood boils quickly as he starts to unload a few rights on Red, Red is back on Andy with rights of his own, punches are being traded but Andy ducks a haymaker and gets behind Red with a takedown, Andy is quickly straddling Red's back and slapping the back of his head before getting to his feet, crowd seemed to like the humiliating tactic but Red, on his knees, not a very happy camper.
Red is back to his feet and they both stare each other down and circle before they tie up, Red with the advantage and over to the turnbuckle, ref tries to intervene but Red gets a cheapshot right hand to the face of Andy as the ref is trying to seperate the two, Andy checks his jaw and luckily its still there, don't count Red with those fists, those things landed him some hard time. Red takes the advantaged of the slightly dazed Andy and begins rocking knees to the midsection of Andrew Gilkison, repeat knees to Andy has him sitting in the corner and Red quickly puts the boot to the throat of Andy and milks the four count for everything it is worth before breaking the choke. Red backs away and gives the PbPro ref the international symbol of "I didn't do anything wrong", I wonder if he did the same thing to the judge in previous court visits. Red is right back on Andy who's still recovering from the choke with another as The ref counts to four again, Red stops at two and begins the curb stomp on Andy who is on the ass end of a boot in an unforgiving corner. Red stops his assault to face the crowd and point to Andy, I suppose he's trying to say that it's his time to beat Andy and lead MBE to the promised land, but I'm no Body Language Analyzer. Red gets a head of steam and tries to implant a running knee into Andy but at the last second Andy dives out of the way behind Red sending his knee crashing into the turnbuckle, Andy grabs Red's waist and a big german suplex! Both men are down but Andy and Red get up at the same time and it's back to the fist-a-cuffs as they trade blows. Red throws a right, crowd goes Boo! Andy throws a right, Crowd goes Yeah!...Boo!, Yeah!, Boo!, Yeah!, block, Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Block from Red, Kick to the gut from Andy and DDT! Two count for that. Andy gets Red back on his feet, Irish Whip and Cross Body, another two count.
Andy begins a ground offense and starts to lay the boots down on Red, Andy is on the second turnbuckle and goes for a knee but Red has it spotted and rolls out of the way letting Andy meet empty canvas. Red is back on his feet and sees an opening as he begins to let the boots find the knee Andy was about to drive to his head. Red grabs Andy's leg, lifts it up and sends his knee crashing back to the mat, Andy is gripping his knee now as Red drags him back to his feet, a couple punches to the head, chops, kicks, some more punches, rather diverse selection coming from a brawler, firemans carry into a big slam to the mat. That only gets two. Red bring Andy back to his feet and a Samoan Drop, another two count. Andy won't stay down with just that, we've seen that as recently as...well...Sunday. It'll take a tazer, two more men, some sleeping pills, tear gas, a steel chair, a cricket bat...well...I think you get the point. Andy is fighting back a little as he is brought back up to his feet, eye rake from Red ends the offensive and a big sidewalk slam follows. Red follows up with a blatant choke with his forearm as The ref counts to four again, Red pushes the ref away and goes back to the choke, The ref grabs on Red and drags him off Andy and begins jawing at Red that if he does that again, he's getting DQ'ed. Not smart, Red, you want that win over Andy right? Choking will win a dispute at a bar but not in this ring. Well...I guess it sometimes can but not in this case. Red makes his way back to Andy, but Andy grabs the legs of Red right out from under him and slingshots him into the turnbuckle! Springboard Cutter! NO! Red deposits Andy outside the ring and onto the mat! Commercials on the way!
Commercial Break
QH3
We're back to an IrishRed advantage on the outside as Andy is being dragged by the hair by red and into the post, picks Andy up by waist and deposits him neck first on the guardrail. Andy must suffering whiplash and a crushed larynx with that, The ref is telling the two to get in the ring or they'll both be counted out, not wanting to win by countout, Red obliges and throws Andy back in the ring and follows him in, Andy catches some wind and gets to stompin on Red. Couple fists to the back of the head and bounces off the ropes with a big dropkick to the face of Red, Andy on top but only for two. Andy looks to be powering up! Andy Angry! Andy on the top rope looking for something high risk! Red is up and begging an assault of punches to Andy's abdomen, Andy with the eye rake and HYOOOOOOOGE TORNADO DDT! TWO COUNT! Almost another W on the column for Andy over Red. Andy gets Red up, snap suplex, holds onto the goods and rolls and another snap suplex, followed by a third rolling in for the cover and only another two count. That Red's a tough bastard for sure, can't keep him down unless you've got the fuzz and firearms. Rear chinlock keeps Red down for a bit, but another eye rake releases that as Red gets back to his feet. Head butt, nose bite, where's Mike Tyson's agent, belly to belly suplex, Andy down, Andy kicks out at two. See saw match going on here as neither is willing to give up a big advantage, Red rolls Andy over and quickly delivers some nasty kidney shots before driving the knee to the back of Andy's head and grabbing Andy's leg for a single leg crab. Andy is veeeeeeerrry close to the ropes and is reaching for it with his free leg, reaching...reeeeaching...his toe manages to find the bottom rope and The ref calls for the break! Red is none too happy about that and is almost ready to take that frustration out on The ref as he breaks the hold.
Red and The ref go round 2 on the jaw jacking, Red is taking way too long on this dispute as Andy comes up behind him with a German Suplex! Bridge! Two count only! Close matchup so far as Red gets up first and takes Andy's head off with a big clothesline.
Red steps out of the ring and onto the floor, looks like his temper is getting the best of him as he is taking a chair from ringside and intends to use it unmercifuly against Andy, I don't think this is going to break the streak here, especialy if The ref still has one good eye and he is using it as he grabs it from Red before he brings it into the ring and tosses it aside, more words are exchanged before Red goes to Plan B and gets back to Andy, shoulder to the midsection of Red, a little backfire on the plan as Andy lays in an assault of shoulders followed by fists, irish whip into the turnbuckle, huge splash! Bulldog! Red is dazed, Andy hits a piledriver and that could be it! Andy is going for the chair! The ref has his hands tied with this matchup and quickly gets in Andy's face about the chair warning him not to use it in the match. Andy is not obliging and is still threataning. There's stirring going on in the crowd....
It's Justin Evitable! He's come out of the stands and is climbing the turnbuckle! Whatever it is he is about to do I think it might have something to do with Red's turn at MBE Evolution and costing him the PbPro Quintuple Crown Championship, Andy sees Justin and tosses the chair over to him as Justin catches it, The ref finishes his speil and it takes long enough not to notice Justin and the chair on the top rope, Justin launches himself into a Shooting Star...into an Arabian Skullcrusher!!! OH MY GOD! IrishRed's head just got crunched under that chair and Justin's leg! I think Justin just lost another two years off his life from that move but it was most impressive nonetheless, and the crowd definitely shows their appreciation for his utter insanity with a rousing "HOLY ****" chant. Justin is out of the ring as Red is grasping his head and stumbling about the ring, Andy is quickly on him, GILKMISSION! Red has nowhere to go! The ref is under him asking for his submission, Red holds on for dear life trying to find ropes but there are none around and they are miles away from him...Red takes the hold for a few more seconds but the pain from Justin's interference and the Gilkmission combined is more than enough for Red as he slaps the mat, ref calls the bell! Andy is the winner!
WINNER: ANDREW GILKISON (22:11, 19:58 aired: Gilkimission)
QH4
Andy doesn’t relinquish the hold though, ready to teach Red a lesson about betrayal but the PbPro group is quickly on the scene after witnessing Justin's interference, Justin has just gotten back up to his feet on the outside and tries to hold off the contingent, trading blows with A, Promo is not far behind him swinging some steel and finds the back of Justin's head dropping him like a ton of bricks to the ground, that’s another year off Justin's life, Promo picks up Justin as A lands some sick kicks cracking Justin's skull. Ravage is now in the ring as Andy goes for a dropkick on the big beast but finds himself getting swatted down, Andy is up but finds himself in a gorilla press, Ravage walks over to the ropes and deposits Andy into the announce table! PbPro is in the ring and cleaning up and showing their muscle again but not before Andy gets another nod over Red with a little help from Justin Evitable, and IrishRed is probably none too happy about that and I'm sure he'll be quite upset after he shakes off the birds flying over his head.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Backstage with el Midgeto, who is with his incredibly hot girlfriend. The midget is doing one-armed push-ups for some reason. Biff wants to know how the midget plans to beat Doc. The midget says no man or beast can stand the pure wrath of his signature move….The Book, oh boy. Everyone falls before the might of the book. This is such a Doc Silver production. He will walk out champion, and if he doesn’t, well, he doesn’t give up so easily. After all, he is a legend in this business he can walk into any company he wants and demand a title shot, and they’ll have to give it to him. But it doesn’t matter, cause he will do whatever it takes to come out champion. Hooooo boy. Who greenlighted this monstrosity? A bunch of agents and officials rush by and Biff has a nose for news, as he and Chaz follow them to Fusenshoff’s dressing room where the Canadian half of the Icons is laying on the floor unconscious, looks like he has been laid out something fierce. Ace says he came to get him for his match with Jake McCody, and found him like this. Intrigue~! Ace doesn’t want to name names, but he thinks it might be Jimmy Donnovan. After all, he seems to be doing a lot of dirty work for the Thrillbillies. The Billies arrive with Jimmy and Jimmy protests his innocence. Jake tries to calm Jimmy down, but Hoss isn’t buying Jimmy’s excuse. Jimmy says he may love hookers, and a good game of high stakes strip poker, but he isn’t no cheat. FF begs to differ, and who let this bastard in here? FF says that if this was the Old West, they would have hung Jimmy as a horse thief by now. Jimmy doesn’t take kindly to that and tosses his hat at FF, but Fuse is starting to come to. Biff tries to get the identity of his attacker, and Fuse fingers Jimmy.
Ace is livid and goes after Jimmy, with a horde of security getting in between them. Jimmy tries to defend himself to the Billies but Hoss slaps him. Jimmy looks quite forlorn. He tries to talk to Jake, but the Thrillbilly is having none of it, and tells Jimmy he best get out of here. Jimmy looks lower than a snake’s belly, dagnabit. FF seems amused by the whole affair. Biff asks FF what he is smiling about, but the Fish says that if Biff wants press access to PbPro, he has to talk to his agent, and hands him a business card.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH5
It’s time for our Egofu…I mean World Heavyweight Championship match. The midget comes out first with his valet. And she is seriously smoking, let me say. The midget flexes for some people at ringside, and his girlfriend just can’t keep her hands off him….ick. The midget gets in the ring. He’s actually getting some cheers. I guess the fans really don’t care who gets the belt off Doc. Or they just have no taste, but to suggest that would probably be mean. And heeeere’s Doc. He gets a very chilly reception, which the crowd chanting “Let’s go…” well, you know who. Scary thought.
Doc gets in the ring, and the midget gets on the stick. The midget tells Doc to hold on, we do this his way or the hard way. And the hard way is still his way. But EXTREME! Extremely brilliant, that is. Doc says he doesn’t know where this midget is from (wink wink) but around these parts, Doc is the champion, and the midget, is…well, just a midget. The midget responds by biting Doc’s leg. Nice. Dr. Phantasmo calls this like this is the most important match in the history of wrestling, which adds an odd surrealism to the midget making out with his girlfriend while choking Doc over the bottom rope. Irish whip…well no, that doesn’t seem to unlikely, and the midget gets stomped down. The midget is selling his ribs something fierce. He steps on Doc’s foot and tries to bodyslam Doc, but his ribs HURT TOO MUCH. That’s some psychology right there, probably cause the midget tells us so. He bites Doc in the groin instead. That drops Doc to his knees and the midget dropkicks him.
He is about to take advantage, or something, but his girlfriend turns on him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle. She explains to the camera that she is actually the girlfriend’s twin sister who hates the midget, because he is just TOO SEXY, and she can’t have him, or something. Doc seems confused, as does our announce team. Doc slams the midget to the mat and hits a huge splash, but the midget kicks out at 2.9. He actually checks his watch to time the kick out at the most dramatic moment as Dr. P explains. This match is wrong on so many levels. Doc hits the Superkick, but the twin sister puts the midget’s foot on the rope to break the count. She says she had a change of heart, but here comes the real girlfriend, or something. CATFIGHT! This match has a little bit of everything. Clothes get ripped off and thankfully, the women do not start making out, which at least two people in the room with me predicted. Obviously the ref’s extensive PbPro training didn’t quite prepare him for this, as he seems quite flummoxed. The distraction gives the midget a chance to go under the ring for “The Book” which appears to be some encyclopedia-sized volume listed as “The Encyclopedia of Wrestling Genius.” How modest. He takes a mighty swing at Doc, but Doc superkicks the book back into the midget. The River follows, on the book of course, and Doc covers (with a liberal handful of tights, just because it’s Doc.) That’s three.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (7:42: The River)
Of course, we aren’t quite done with the festivities. Doc celebrates like he just won the Super Bowl, or at least a very large wager on the Super Bowl. The midget blindsides Doc with “The Book” and the two women unite to stomp on Doc with their heels as the midget directs them. A very angry Dan Dority comes down to break up the festivities and the midget gets on the mic to promise revenge next week, as the greatest story ever told marches on, or something. A million billion stars. Or not.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH6
We’re in Yamada’s office as he tries to make some sort of very important announcement with Yori and company still squatting in his office. Yori is figuring out how he can create a hybrid pasta/dildo maker, in a nice bit of corporate synergy, and fretting over his trip to Penn State. He misheard it as the State Pen, and he doesn’t want to spend any time in prison. He is a very delicate flower, or something. Justin says that a lot of great artists performed in prison, like Johnny Cash. Smitty tries to explain that it is a college, not a prison. No one seems to be listening. Yori postulates that maybe he should send the robot in his place. Smitty points out how well that worked in GTT6. Inside jokes abound, tonight on WNW. Yamada finally tells all of them to shut up. Yori asks where else he is supposed to have his Inner Sextum meeting. Yamada says Yori told him weeks ago he was hatching a brilliant plan to get his office back. Yori says he’ll get on it as soon as he figures out how to make this pasta maker spit out sex toys. Yamada finally throws them all out. He apologizes for the tomfoolery, okay Uncle Bill, and announces that due to Andy and Duchess’s respective performances at Evolution, he thinks both are deserving of the #1 contendership mantle, so the only way to decide who gets the title shot will be to settle it in the ring at WNW next week, with an MBE referee at the helm.
Back to ringside we go, as Jeffrey Roberts comes out for his match. Spectacular performance from Roberts at Evolution, and I think he could be the breakout star of 2007. Of course, I said that about Jock McCrunk, and we all know how that worked out. I’m like the kiss of death with my predictions. We can only hope that doesn’t help with Roberts, who is arguably already a star in his own right, though at a time when Smash Mouth was still a commercially viable musical act. Jimmy’s music plays for a while, no sign of Jimmy. No wait….here he is, and he looks about four sheets to the wind. No fake moonshine bottle this week, that look’s like Jim Bean. I see MBE is getting into the product placement game. Well, if they keep representing such upstanding brands, I have no qualms. Jimmy starts talking to the turnbuckle, thinking it is the ref, or Jake, or a hooker, it’s unclear. He’s got his arm around it as the ref is trying to get him instructions. Jimmy doesn’t want to be interrupted, so the ref just calls for the bell, and Jimmy gets slammed into his new best friend, via a Roberts corner leg lariat.
Jimmy is up and all ‘lemme at him’ but his haymakers miss by a mile and leave him easy pickings for a backdrop suplex from Roberts. Standing moonsault gets two. I guess Jimmy has some idea where he is, at least. Irish whip, but Jimmy drunkenly tumbles to the mat before reaching the ropes. Roberts is less than thrilled, and the crowd seems to agree with him. Roberts tries to pick up Jimmy, but the drunken cowboy fires some punches that manage to connect, and Roberts is staggered. Ah, never underestimate the strength of an angry drunk. Jimmy starts to do some sort of move, but either forgets how, or forgets what he is doing and just sort of drops Roberts awkwardly. He does know how to stomp Roberts in the face, though. Jimmy tries for a suplex, and actually follows through, but Roberts slips out in mid-move and lands behind Jimmy, a release dragon suplex follows and Jimmy is on dream street. Running Lyger Bomb puts Jimmy out of his misery.
WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS (4:41: Running Lyger Bomb)
Roberts is disgusted and continues an assault on the downed Donovan until he gets tired of it. No sign of the Billies to make the save either. Jimmy finally crawls over to his bourbon bottle and caresses it lovingly.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH7
Biff Bentley is in the control room to announce MBE Zero Hour, live on PPV, March 3rd in the Twin Cities. Already announced is The Thrillbillies v. The International Icons for the MBE World Tag Team Championship. Doc Silver will face the winner of Andy Gilkison and Duchess next week on WNW for the World Heavyweight Championship. Biff has a hot rumor about the PbPro Quintuple Crown Title Match, but you wil have to call the MBE Hotline for that info and more. 2.99 the first minute, 99 cents a minute afterwards.
Next we get a video package hyping MBE’s entrants into the Team Invitational Tournament, complete with cheesy eighties synth pop like they use to use on CBS for March Madness, a nice touch. Yori as a one seed, really now? I’d be scared of Red and Promo in the wide open Portland bracket, but anybody could come out of there. Lots of shots of Yori’s crotch. Obviously someone has let power over production go to his head.
Duchess is walking! Red and Promo are walking! Cockily! Our main event is next!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Main event tag action is on the horizon as Vinman introduces senior PbPro ref Kenji Yamaguchi to a chorus of boos. I smell shenanigans afoot. PbPro is out first and the boos (and garbage) continue to fly. Promo covers A’s ears, saying a true legend should never be booed by mere peons. A and Promo exchange pleasantries with the referee as Till gets all indignant like Till does so well. Duchess is out next and she waits at the end of the rampway for the True Face. Justin, of course, blows right back Duchess to get his hands on A. After a quick flurry of offense, the tide turns and PbPro beats him down as Duchess sighs and comes to the rescue.
QH8
Duchess springboards in with a dropkick that clears A from the ring and she ducks a lariat from Promo and hits a sweet looking lung blower. Justin regroups and adds a somersault senton and the match proper starts with Promo and Justin. Justin takes it to the real world champ with a spinning heel kick and a spinning leg drop. That gets two. Tag to Duchess and she stomps Promo down before adding a nice jumping knee. Back out to Justin for the tag team SYNERGY~! Double team backbreaker gets two. Justin hits the ropes, but FF is there to helpfully pull the top rope down for Justin, or not, as the True Face crashes to the floor.
A is on Justin in a flash and posts him into the steps. He is all helpful and stuff when Ref Yamaguchi looks over though, gently helping the True Face into the ring. Playing the role of Ricky Morton tonight…Justin Evitable. A tags in and stomps away on Justin. Then he stomps some more. He works over Justin’s back with a northern lights suplex (A bringing the high end stuff) and a camel clutch. Duchess makes the save, kicking A off, but Yamaguchi takes his time escorting Duchess out, leaving Justin to the wolves as Promo chokes The True Face in the corner, while A works Justin over with body shots. A double team stungun gets two, as Ref Yamaguchi gets back to work, after a coffee break or something. Powerslam from Promo gets two as well, and Justin is in bad shape.
Promo sets Justin for the Promoplex, but the True Face elbows out. He goes for the moonsault, but Promo bails. Justin lands on his feet, though, but it quickly removed from his feet by a springboard clothesline from A. A adds the punches to the prone Justin. Yamaguchi seems to be confused if there was a tag or not, but he lets the fellas play on, much to Duchess’s dismay. Yamaguchi listens to her protests, ignoring FF battering Justin with his briefcase while A chokes him over the bottom rope. Finally, Justin turns the tide, escaping a A suplex and shoving him into Promo on the apron. HOT TAG DUCHESS!
Duch is a house afire, dropping A with a jumping back elbow and superkicking Promo off the apron. Rana roll-up on A gets two. Duchess shoots in and gets a schoolboy, but Promo is there to break it up. PbPro combines for a double team brainbuster, but it’s Justin’s turn to make the save. FF is up on the apron and protest and down he goes as Justin drops him with a right hand much to the crowd’s delight. Promo takes the True Face out with a big time German though, and Duchess eats a spinebuster from A. A goes for the A bomb, but Duchess lands on her feet and goes for another superkick. A sidesteps and poor Ref Yamaguchi gets the business end. Seems like PbPro refs have the same glass jaw MBE ones do, cause he is out like a light. A knocks Duchess down with an axe bomber, but a double team with Promo goes horribly wrong and the Extreme Icon ends up on the floot SUPERKICK! A is down but there is no one to count the pin.
Wait, here comes Ref Thunder! He makes the count 2.9! A is out! FF is livid and gets in the ring and shoves Thunder to the mat. Thunder drops FF with a right hand and is stomping a mudhole in FF Promo makes the save, locking on the Fadeout. Think of Lance’s poor injured neck, ya bastard. Justin introduces a chair and wacks Promo, wacks FF, but gets it punched back in his face by A. Ref Yamaguchi is up and he is waving the match off.
NO CONTEST
That has little effect, of course, as the four continue to brawl! FF promises comeuppance to anyone who will listen, and we fade to black.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Non-finish in the main aside, a solid show with a lot of angle advancement. Outside of Red/Andy not a ton of wrestling or anything, but a nice job setting things in motion as we head towards Zero Hour.
Match of the Night- Red/Andy
Spot of the Night Justin’s plumb dumb shooting star legdrop
Line of the Night “Why won’t this pasta maker make dildos? It makes bagels.”- Yori