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The Neon Death of a Dream

Manson

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
382
Points
0
(FADEIN: Downtown Tokyo at night. Flashing and flickering technicolor lights and glowing neon signs. Japanese people wandered up and down the streets in herds with sparkly hair and waving glow-sticks. Fireworks go up in the sky displaying dragons made of rainbow fire. CUTTO: A top floor bar with a clever sign that's designed to look broken and made from red and purple lightbulbs that reads "Neo-Flux." More of the shining people dance and mosh to a rave indoors with a goth japanese rock band, screaming about the 8 horsemen of the apocalypse doing acid in japanese. Off in the corners, smoke machines go off and goths drift away, their faces painted, tattooed with gods, and pierced everywhere. Many wear gas masks and hook them up to oxygen tanks. CUTTO: One darkened corner at the far, far end of the actual bar where no one but one sits in the shadows. A bottle of Yaeger rests in front of him along with a single shot glass. Before him is powdered strawberry red pez which his fingers play with. His long, midnight-black hair drapes down like a mask over his pale face, but its bruised and cut up. he's wearing a black leather 'Brando' biker jacket, jeans, and "Die for Mike Manson" t-shirt. He stares off obliviously. His reflection doesn't show up in the multiple mirrors around him.)

MANSON(fingering his half-empty shot glass): When I was a child, I had one great and noble dream. Every night when my parents forced me to sleep by taping me down to my bed so I couldn't watch Johnny Carson, images of this saintly future flashed under my eyelids. Even now, I hear the cries and whimpers of the fleeing dolphins of my dreams.

They always thought they could outswim me, but I had a very, very long whip. And it took only the quickest, wittiest ones to escape Mike Manson: Dolphin Abuser.

And, yes, I've abused dolphins in my day, gotten some plastic six-pack containers caught in their gills, had a few mounted up on my fireplace, but then I turned 18 and as all dreams I awoke from it.

But I had glorious, such other dreams.

I've won world titles, sold out entire arenas, been banned from entire countries, driven grown men insane, stalked Hollywood starlets, wrestled, defeated, and annihilated the most talented men in the wrestling industry, sent death threats to the pope, and developed a formula for Really New Coke.

And then there was the NFW. The final mountain to climb.

I've been here since almost beginning. Most people here think I was the first one to actually switch the lights on, but they only think that because I kidnapped them, deprived them of sleep, and made them think what I want them to.

It took time, planning, training, and superhuman regenerative abilities, but I conquered. In a wrestling promotion that at times claimed to have its entire roster made out of the greatest of the great, the most dangerous men in this sport in the most dangerous matches devised, I ascended above them all.

First as a commissioner and even now you see my bloody, bloody fingerprints all over this promotion. And then as the NFW World Heavyweight Champion, one of the longest-reigning and definitely the most memorable. That coincided with the Ultratitle, a trophy that was a myth when I first started out as a young, pale lad with ambitions of destroying the world and all the world wrestling federations.

At one time, I was both the greatest heavyweight champion of the world and the Ultratitle Champion, the winner of a tournament of greats and I did it all in the greatest, the biggest promotion in the world. Yet it wasn't enough.

I created the NFW Eastern Conference and while it has fallen into other, less worthy hands to govern, they've never tamed it. It's the same, drugged-out, maddening, euphoric dreamscape plagued by real life nightmares and absurdity it's always been.

My legacy is total. My legend absolute.

Yet...it is not enough.

The NFW East has grown past me, past the whole NFW and the entire wrestling world. It is a chaotic organism, ever-stretching, ever-extending, that layers on more and more disturbing displays of death, drugs, and deviance with every minute. It's a world unto itself and no one can truly conquer it, but I thought I could.

But things....life...got in the way. Not to mention a strange stretch of time where I stopped snorting pez and started wearing Ambercrombie and Fitch. Still, I thought I could climb to the top again. Another Ultratitle....another World Title. And again...both at once. The utterly impossible....which is what I do.

Battered and almost broken, I survived an Ironman match with Jonathan Marx, my protege and possibly the next greatest technical wrestler alive, but only barely. And he still stands, still lives, and has another chance to go into the Ultratitle playoffs.

And there was Felix Red, who simply beat me. I can't explain it myself. It just happened. Every match before, I always out-thought my opponent, survived to the end, or went to lengths no one else would dare but my imaginary friends Clovis would.

But in a flash, it was over and Felix Red had won. He had kept the coveted NFW World title and remained the Ultratitle favorite. This is a man who dominated the East, the man who unseated Doc Silver, who destroyed Beau Michaels' life, and mesmerized and disgusted the world.

Doing all the things I should!

There are others. Yori Yakamo Junior, a dildo merchant who has somehow developed a sexual vibrational science that distorts the spacetime continuum. A man who somehow lasts thorugh every match, every night, and comes out on top. He's sickened the masses and then draw them in with his own faux-religion.

Again, all the things I should be doing!

If you asked anyone who's coming out of the East, its Yori or Felix. Felix or Yori. There's Maggot, Kin Hiroshi, Dan Ryan, and Jonathan Marx of course....and I'd deal with them with the time came....but I wonder.

If I stopped now, no one would blame me. I've done twice everything that any ordinary wrestler could. I've defied god and every sports authority board on this planet. If there is a Hall of Fame, despite the fact that I'd probably burn it down, my name will be enshrined there.

Let Felix, and Yori, and the rest fight it out....sit back...eat my pez and ponder what's next...the new dream of the new age of the new life of Mike Manson....

...but then I'd never know. My next opponent is Yori. Who is the more depraved, the more diabolical mind? And getting past him and the rest of the East, I might face Felix again and redeem myself. Reclaim my world championship and carry it back with me into another Ultratitle victory.

I can still do it all again!

But why? Why bother? After all these years, all these lives I've made and destroyed, all I've done and caused to come to pass, why go on?

What more is there?

Just the dream. The neon dream of being the dual champion, the undisputed god-king of the wrestling universe.

I haven't woken yet from that. Not yet.
 

Hida Yakamo

League Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2005
Messages
29
Points
0
The sequel to the highly successful motion picture

DUHN DUHN

DUHN DUHN

Duhn dah dah dunh dah dah DUHN DUHN

"Yori Yakamo, jr, sex maven, a pervert barely alive. Gentlemen, we can
rebuild him, we have the technology. We have the capability to make
the worlds first SEXonic man. Yori Yakamo, jr will be that man. Better
than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster. (okay, maybe not
faster). He will be the SIX MILLION YEN MAN!"

INT. THE SECRET UNDERGROUND LABS OF YORILOVE.COM- DAY

The Thai Hooker design team slaves over the fallen body of Yori
Yakamo, jr. Smitty watches from the observation deck, pacing
nervously. The sexbot enters in medical scrubs, covered in blood and
silicone.

"DR. ROBOYORI OPERATE."

"How did it go, Dr. Sexbot?"

"PROGNOSIS SEXY."

"I knew it was a good idea to include a full medical subroutine into
your programming.

"DR. ROBOYORI CAN STITCH UP ROBOYORI LOVE HOLES."

"Right."

DR. ROBOYORI DANCE NOW?"

"First, how soon until Yori is back up on his feet. He has a huge
match with Michael Manson coming up in round two."

"ROBOYORI THINK HUMAN YORI NEED REST, RELAXATION, and DRUGS."

"That shouldn't be a problem. But will he be able to wrestle?

"ROBOYORI SAY YES."

"That's good, because he couldn't before."

ROBOYORI elicits some canned sitcom laughter.

"That's my favorite subroutine, though."

"HUMAN YORI SHOULD TAKE IT EASY. SILICONE IMPLANTS STILL FRAGILE."

"What, you gave him silicone implants?"

"NOT HAVE MANY SUPPLIES IN UNDERGROUND LAIR. MOSTLY SILICONE, BLOWN
GLASS AND ROLLING PAPER."

"So what did you do to him, then."

"HUMAN YORI SUPER SEXY NOW."

SMITTY rushes down to Yori's bedside. Yori is thrashing the Thai
Hooker nurses. Smitty recoils in horror.

"I want a mirror, dammit, I want to see myself."

"I don't know about that Mr. Yori."

"Damn you, Lucinda Hooker, give me a mirror."

"I have a last name now, Mr. Yori."

"Yeah, but it's easier if I only have to remember one. Now give me a mirror."

"Listen to the nurse Yori."

"Smitty, smitty, is that you?"

"Yes, Yori."

"My darling Smitty, tell me, am I still sexy."

"….yeah, Yori. You are like, totally sexy."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. GIVE ME A MIRROR."

"Yori, you need your rest."

"I AM A NATIONAL TREASURE! I HAVE FOUGHT GENOCIDAL APES BIGGER THAN
YOU. I AM THE PRESUMPTIVE ULTRATITLE CHAMPON. I HAVE MOVED ENTIRE
CITIES WITH MY MIND. CITIES OF HOT WOMEN. AND BY WITH MY MIND, I MEAN
PENIS. GIVE ME A MIRROR."

"Fine, Yori."

SMITTY grabs a mirror off the night stand and hands it to Yori. He
surveys his body up and down.

"I'm….I'm…..SEXY!"

Yori leaps from his bed and out of the shadows and we get our first
glimpse of him. Yori looks fine, except for a bit of a bump on his
head. DR. ROBOYORI simply grafted a whole bunch of dildos all over his
body.

"I HAVE BECOME THE ULTIMATE SEX TOY. LIKE ALL MY SEX TOYS.
PLEASURABLE, BUT DEADLY."

"Ummm, I thought we did away with that marketing slogan after all the
deaths….accidental though they may have been."

"Jason Payne does not know what he unleashed. He struck me down, but I
only became sexier. No one in NFW can stand before me now."

"Next time, can I take you to a real doctor, not just a sex robot that
plays one on TV."

"But DR. ROBOYORI, MEDICINE ROBOT is Yorifilm.com's most popular
streaming show."

"That doesn't mean he can perform actual medical procedures."

"But he heals all those frontierswomen's hearts. With love. And some
penetration.

"DR. ROBOYORI CHECK ON PATEINT."

"DR. ROBOYORI, will I be able to defeat Michael Manson and continue my
now 500% MORE SEXY ULTRATITLE RUN OF DESTINY?"

"DR. ROBOYORI DOCTOR DAMMIT, NOT WRESTLING PROGNOSITCATOR."

"Damn you sex robot. I want answers."

"Yori, if you want answers to life's mysteries, there is only one place to go."

"RIGHT, SMITTY! BRING ON THE QUAALUDES!”


“ROBOYORI PUSH 50 MG of YORI FUN PUNCH”

“Now play me off with some sexy music."

ROBOYORI'S MP3 player begins to crank out "You'll be a Woman, Soon"

"CLOSE ENOUGH."

CUE UP MAGICAL COLOR DISSOLVE.

INT. CABEZA DE YORI- DAY

YORI is in his multi-colored discothèque. The Giant Green Rabbit (who may or may not be God) waits impatiently.


RABBIT: My child, where have you been? I have grown lonely.

YORI: Time Travelling in an attempt to escape a terminating dildo from the future and the legions of Apeman Hitler.

RABBIT: Careful, you are bordering on copyright violations.

YORI: Can you still have intellectual property if you have no intellect?

RABBIT: That is quite the puzzle.

YORI: Anyway, I need to know how to defeat Michael Manson.

RABBIT: There will be plenty of time for that. But now I sense a great disturbance in the force.

YORI: Now who is treading close to intellectual property theft.

RABBIT: It’s a homage.

YORI: Whatever you say, Rabbit.

RABBIT: Your battle with terminating sex robots is not over yet.

YORI: No, it’s over. Apparently some dude wanted it more. Then he disappeared in a plane over the Pacific or something.

RABBIT: But that twist ending was pretty awesome.

YORI: It sure was Rabbit.

RABBIT: Perhaps this is not the best time, though, to be engaging in petty vendettas.

YORI: Right, cause there is a disturbance in the force.

RABBIT: Yes, a sex robot walks among us, indistinguishable from its brethren.

YORI: You mean ROBOYORI. I only created one sex robot.

RABBIT: Did you, Yori? Did you?

YORI: I suppose it is conceivable that I accidentally built another sex robot while high on Quaaludes. Likely, even, if I were to be honest with myself. Wait a minute, you aren’t talking about the ROBOYORI prototype. ROBOLORE…..Y.

RABBIT: I don’t think that is real. I think you just made that up.

YORI: Your ways are wise and unknowable, Rabbit.

RABBIT: No, I just know you stole my copy of Season six of Star Trek: The Next Generation last time you were here.

YORI: TROI IS HOT! Troi, not Troy.

RABBIT: I figured as much.

YORI: Yeah, that should be understood, I guess. I’d still do Troy, though.

RABBIT: Yeah, but you have no standards.

YORI: I prefer to think of it as open minded…TO THE EXTREME. Always to the extreme.

RABBIT: Right. And you better return that DVD soon. I can't get anything else out form Netflix till you do.

YORI: So how many sex robots are there?

RABBIT: I don’t know. Ask Randalls.

YORI: Can’t you guesstimate?

RABBIT: The giant green rabbit who may or may not be God does not guesstimate. Though he does occasionally do the hustle.

YORI: Those two things are nothing alike. I thought Randalls was dead.

RABBIT: In an alternate universe. Well, several really, and in the year 2745, briefly. He comes back though and wreaks vengeance as Zombie Randalls. Then he is reanimated and has a brief love affair with the Princess of Oceania. Millions perish.

YORI: That doesn’t really help me now.

RABBIT: Fine. There is one other sexbot. It’s evil and sent to kill you.

YORI: Why?

RABBIT: Cause you need something to do since you already had your time traveling adventure escaping from a rampaging sex robot sent back to kill you.

YORI: That wasn’t my fault. I have deadlines.

RABBIT: Apparently nobody else does.

YORI: So I’m just going to do it again.

RABBIT: It’s a sequel, Yori.

YORI: Yeah but all sequels are basically remakes. I mean, to be honest, there isn’t a ton of difference between Spaceballs on Your Chin and Spaceballs on Your Chin II: The Search for More Money Shots.

RABBIT: Spaceballs On Your Chin II does have more money shots.

YORI: True, but I think that goes without saying.

RABBIT: Look, just fight the damn evil sex robot again.

YORI: Fine. BUT I’M MAKING IT SEXIER!

RABBIT: You do that.

YORI: Now will you tell me how to defeat Randalls.

RABBIT: What do you usually do to win matches.

YORI: Hit him with dildos!

RABBIT: Well now you have plenty, albeit all clumsily grafted to your body by a ham-fisted sex robot surgeon.

YORI: I’M BEAUTIFUL!

RABBIT: Sure, whatever. Hit Manson with the dildos.

YORI: AWESOME!
 

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