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THE HOSS REPORT for 1/11/04


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Niagara, ON, Canada
The Hoss Report

Greetings from beneath the beat-up old Oakland A's cap, and welcome to the first Hoss Report of 2004! As always, I'm Jim Hosselhoff. These are momentous times in GXW with Battleground Britain only days away, and the action leading up to it has been intense. So let's take a look at the Battleground Britain card, shall we?

Man, is this card ever stacked. As far as I know, Battleground Britain is one of the biggest, most heavily-stacked cards in history, with several likely match-of-the-year candidates scheduled to go down.

I don't know what to say about the match between Max Blackshire and Ice Tre. Oh, wait, I do. Goodbye, Ice Tre. I've already called ahead and made funeral arrangements. The service will be held at 4:00 the night after the Pay-Per-View.

Poor Eric Davis. He had his heart set on wrestling Dan Ryan, but is instead bumped all the way down the card to take on Hellfighter. This is a real shame. Davis is a huge hoss and is in my opinion being wasted in a match against GXW's perennial late bloomer. Hellfighter's a hoss too, but he's developing too slowly to stand a chance against Davis.

The match between the Monsta Boyz and the Assassins is guaranteed to deliver. Both teams are composed of massive hosses, and the constant rivalry between them always produces great matches. I'm not even sure who to pick for this one.

The A1E contingent in the house rears its head as Promo takes on Beast. I'm familiar with Promo from his matches in NFW, but Beast is an enigma. I don't even know what the issue between these two is! Either way, I'm expecting Promo to go over, if only because I don't know enough about Beast yet.

I'm still not sold on this whole Spin The Wheel, Make A Deal idea, but the match between Clapper and Troy Douglas promises to be a barnburner. Both men are enormous hosses whom we have high hopes for. On the other hand, David Allen Black seems to be wallowing. Either way, I think Clapper's going to prevail here.

It seems our young Stephen Waltz has a chance to really make a name for himself as he faces off against Gabriel Poe. Waltz is one of our brightest up-and-coming hosses right now, and a win against a veteran like Apocalypse would be a huge boost for his fledgling career. As for Poe - well, it's great to see him fighting someone other than the recently-departed Reuben Fasco. I'm rooting for Waltz on this one, though.

It's a given that the match between Jonathan Marx and Adam Benjamin is going to deliver. Both men are big hosses who have risen rapidly in the wrestling world. I think Marx is going to pull out the win, though, simply because he has more experience in a big-match setting. Benjamin won't make it easy for him, though.

Speaking of matches that will deliver, the match between Jean Rabesque and Christian Sands has the potential to be one of the best pure-wrestling matches in history. Both of these men are technicians of the highest possible order and huge hosses to boot. Again, I can't even begin to predict the outcome of this one, but I AM looking forward to seeing what could easily be the match of a lifetime.

I'm not familiar with A1E World Champion Cross, but whomever he is, he's going to have his hands full against DreamMaker. The Big D is a monster hoss who's going to give Cross a run for his money. As you've now doubt guessed, I've got Dreams pegged to win this one, though I'm half-expecting Cross to surprise us.

I'm not familiar with Vladimir Vlachenko nor his grudge with Lindsay Troy, but I know for a fact that Lindsay's a huge hoss - and a beautiful one at that! I'm thinking she's going to pull out a win here. Then again, I don't know much about Vlad, so he might surprise her.

Wow! GXW should be honored to be playing host to the return match of a legend like Eli Flair! You just KNOW that Kevin Powers is in for a world of hurt in this match. The Double G KP is a hoss, but I think Flair's a bigger one, and I'm expecting him to come back strong with a resounding win over the Ayatollah of Rum and Cola.

And the card just gets better and better, as CSWA's own Professionals take on the team of Troy Windham and Shane Southern. This match is guaranteed to be great. I'm most familiar with Southern from his work in NFW, and believe me - he is a H-O-S-S. I can't even begin to choose a winner here.

The rematch between Dan Ryan and Mark Windham promises to be absolutely epic. The last time these two titanic hosses fought, they put on a ***** classic that was voted Match Of The Year by FWI Magazine. I'm looking forward to seeing if they can top that effort. Of course, being a loyal GXW viewer, I'm banking on the Ego Buster to retain the CSWA Title.

Who did Shawn Hart sleep with to get the WFW Title match higher on the card than the epic Ryan/Windham rematch? Eityher way, I'm not familiar with Michaels or Minion, so I'm expecting Le Phenom to come out with le victory - because he is, indeed, a hoss. Though a flamboyant one.

And finally, we come to the match between John Miller and Boogie Smallz for the GXW Title. These guys are two of the biggest hosses in existence. I'm expecting a ***** match from these two, because they're more than capable of pulling it off. I'd give you a prediction, but I can't even begin to guess at who'll win this one. All I can say is that it will NOT disappoint.

Well, that's it for this Hoss Report, folks. Until next time, keep on truckin'!

~Jim Hosselhoff

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