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Jan 1, 1970
(FADEIN: Darkness. . . and a stereo-speaker faintly playing ‘RELEASE’ - M.O.O.N. . . .a lengthy, far-perspectived hallway slowly comes into frame due to what look like swirling, bright green blue and blue laser-sticks. . . but as they come closer, the contours and design of the human body seem to be stepping forward in a pack. BLAST OF STATIC! GO-PRO HANDHELD CLOSEUP: A man kneeling and holding the camera looks around shiftily as the lower legs of two men with black leather pants stand behind. Their pants are seamed and cut into with circuit-board etchings accentuated by fluorescent green glowlight juice contained by sewn in plastic tubes. The pattern swoops around their pants, while they tap their feet to the music on the stereo boombox still playing ‘RELEASE’ faintly. The man kneeling and continuing to look like a sniffing, little dog is wearing RIDDICK sunglasses and has shaggy, greasy brown hair hand-smoothed back. He struggles to hold the camera in place as his head jostles like he thinks he heard a sound not part of the music. He looks towards the camera and speaks. . .)

“FUTURE-X-COM DATE REMEMBER THE NOVEMBER 2049. . . ‘JUST DIESEL’ MARK still traveling through space and time with the saviors of the FOOOOOOOOOOOOTURE. . . the SHADOWRUNNERS and the eyes of the hawkwing, the oracle of Kimyenesia, the teller of time, the shadow of space. . . DOUG MAYFIELD. Blind from the darkness of the devil’s cargo hold, I have learned all the secrets, I have heard the apocalypse as planned by LEGION. And tonight, we step out into the light. . . into the (like Coldplay) YELL-OHHHHH. . .”

(‘JUST DIESEL’ MARK stands and slowly turns the GO-PRO handheld away from himself, the dark picture coming into frame with a curly-mullet flowing over a black leather jacket, etched in the same manner but with blinking, bright blue LED lights sewn in and resembling a circuit grid. The man loudly states “There is no more yellow where I’ve been. . .“ MARK has the GO-PRO slowly pan up and down, showing black leather pants blinking as the man turns around quickly and grabs the GO-PRO upwards violently and showing an angered DOUG MAYFIELD up in its grill!)

DOUG MAYFIELD: “DUDE, WHAT THE F(BLEEP!)K! Keep the eyes up high, I don’t want you lookin’ me up and down like that!”

(DOUG smacks MARK in the side of the head, then has to steady him, so he’s focused on the camera.)

DOUG: “Now, WE know the secrets you hold, Legion, now we are prepared to ride this mother(BLEEP!)ker out and make sure your chaos doesn’t take out the STARFOX PRIME, President of NFW, the best brother south of the Micropole, EDDIE MAYFIELD! But Legion, did you know that YELLOW is banned in the FOOOOOOOOOTURE!? Yeah, that’s right, even though the kid of that Coldstone singer got hypnotized and shot Tripp Palin Couture Jr. right through the skull. . . that’s not the worst thing that happens in the future because of your secrets, Legion. That’s a blip, the play on the tip of the destruction you caused. No, no . . . Rey Amarillo and El Cabron. . . you have no place in the FOOOOTURE and your kind SICKEN US.”

(MARK turns the camera on himself, “I WILL NOT SEE YOUR LIGHT! SAY NO TO AMARILLO!” MARK gets wrenched around by TOD DESTINY and CHAD FORTUNE, both with mohawk ponytails and matrix sunglasses.)



DESTINY: “We come from the future where there is no sun until the dusk of the dawn, when the machines hide for the night.”

FORTUNE: “I shine with green for my brother pilot in the NEWDELPHIA Eagle Jets! It has been TOO LONG since we toasted under the burning freeways with a shot of Sambuca Jack!”

(MARK turns the camera on himself, looking in plea. . .)

MARK: “They sacrifice so much! Even though I cannot see, I believe! My saviours. . . will you not help them save the future, NFW!?”

(DOUG MAYFIELD grabs the camera out of MARK’s hands, puts it on himself smirking.)

DOUG: “Now we know, mother(BLEEP!)ers. . . now, we have the power.”


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