Sorry You're Not a Winner Fallout

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

I stepped into a world. I stepped into a world that wasn't my own and for that I was wrong. I used dreams to try to map my destiny to the IGC and Phil Atken when in reality the power was inside me all along. The Beast inside me could have changed the tides of war and yet I neglected that power. I tried to do it as a man and as a man I failed.

As a man I fell short and Ocho stood tall. As a man I have respect for Ocho and what he accomplished but he beat a man, he slew a man, and he walked out the victor looking down at a man. I may not be in the federation, I may not sign a contract, but what I do know is that I want Ocho to defeat Atken. Why? Because by the sight of whatever God you praise I swear to this: Ocho and Sylo II will be a different sight. I, as a man, stepped into his world. I ask the IGC Committee to give me my redemption, to give me my chance, because I want Ocho to step into my world. Not the world of men and masks but into the world of THE King of all monsters.

Next time Sylo, the man, is dead and all that'll be standing across the ring from Ocho will be simply‚

The Legendary SuperBeast

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

We find Phil Atken shining his lovely Intergalatic Championship in front of an IGC backdrop.

Atken: As the commissions's champion Sylo, I feel that I can speak on their behalf when I say that you lost, get over it. Still, I'm a nice guy, I can appreciate a loser in a redemption spiral when I see one, have a free ticket to V for Victoralicious on me, I'm all heart. That way you can see once again tearing apart that masked faced loon. Hell, I might even make him tap out this time around. Thus by transitive property, you will have tapped out to me. I'd like that. I'd like that a lot.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Sylo sits in a dark room, a single light cast upon him, as the long black strands of hair hang over his eyes. He inhales deeply and exhales slowly. Every muscle looks tense but his demeanor is calm.

"Mr. Atken, you're mistaken, because until you actually step into a ring with me you've yet to beat me. In fact no one has yet to beat the beast and I plan to bring that beast out, let him take control, and God help you if it's you I face. If this is an open invitation Atken, then if SOMEHOW you get past Ocho, I'll be more than happy to take you to a place worse than hell itself. I am a legend, I am the King of ALL monsters, and your words only add kindling to the fire that's been sparked. All I ask that if it is you, Atken, and you grant me that shot if you do walk away with your title, that you sign the same contract that I do because when I'm done with you, I won't be held responsible. Think long and hard before you say yes and if it comes to pass may God have mercy on your soul because I won't.

Sylo looked directly into the camera. The slits of blue glowing like a predator in the dark. Sylo's gaze pierced beyond the veil of hair, beyond the camera, and straight to Atken himself.

"Flock to me my sheep and I shall slaughter you all."

-Fade Out-

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Atken, still shining his belt, barely paying attention to the camera.

Atken: Mr Sylo, I prefer my challengers earn their title matches and not think they are owed them because they once almost defeated a mentally deficient luchador who thinks he's a-Wario and he's going to ween. Whatever that even means. The point is, my super beastly friend, I already tamed a beast at Sorry You're Not a Winner, I've already notched that one on my collection of notches. If you want a shot at this, if you want a shot a MY title, you damn well better earn it first. You know how many people are beating down my door with similar offers to yours? AT LEAST THREE. AT LEAST.

Just because you drank the Hyde potion, it doesn't make you a title contender, it makes you a crazy person who ought to be committed for being a danger to himself and others.

Earn the shot Sylo, like Ocho has earned his.'

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

ONE NEW MESSAGE
-UNKNOWN-

"Atken, you and your IGC cronies pick my opponent and then this "danger" as you put it will be your nightmare. You're merely a pawn in a much much bigger game."

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

(Leyenda de Ocho sits on his hotel bed. His ribs are taped up, bruises and welts running up and down his sides. A white bandage covers his chin, a thin crusty line seeping through. He stares down through his Fierce Deity mask at the briefcase in his hands.)

Ocho: "I don't really understand how I'm getting to become Mr. Popular, though I do appreciate it. The fans in Ocean City, first with the masks and the signs, and then chanting for me...and now I've got a living legend and the current champion focusing more spotlight on me. This is kind of surreal.

Sylo, I have all the respect in the world for you. The battle we shared...the moments, the death we defied...it was truly one of the most terrifying and exhilarating moments of my life. Not just my career - my LIFE. Thank you for that.

But would you look at this for a second? And this?"

(Ocho points to his ribs and his chin.)

"These are the signs of me getting lucky. These are the marks left that could have meant broken ribs or a concussion. You saw what happened to Eagles - he's lucky to still be with us after that match!"

(Ocho looks to the camera and holds the briefcase up to it. On the front, a crudely drawn figure of three triangles can be seen in the corner.)

Ocho: "I flung myself from 20 feet above nothing but concrete and imagination to get this. I COULD HAVE DIED, FOR REAL. That is the sacrifice I am willing to make in pursuit of the Intergalactic Championship, Sylo. I didn't know if I would ever get another chance at it...hell, I've been doing nothing but scary stuff all along this journey."

(Ocho points to his mask.)

"Including this.

Sylo, I will never turn down any challenges. It's not in me. The thing is...I have bigger tasks ahead of me before I can respond to you. Phil Atken is still the champion. As much as you might think I'm the favorite, I'm not the man in IGC until I claim the championship.

I hate to leave you with a 'we will see', but...we will see.

Phil...congratulations for your first successful title defense. However, I'm not about catchphrases and hokum. This is bigger. What I DO is bigger.

Immersion.

You will find out all about this...soon."

(Ocho falls backward into the bed, still clutching the briefcase in his arms as his eyes close and the camera fades to black.)

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

'We cut to Phil Atken smashing his cell phone with a hammer.\n\nATKEN: BOTHER ME NO MORE FOUL BEAST.\n\nPhil stops hammering the phone to turn to the camera.\n\nATKEN: Oh and Ocho, you\'re nothing but catchphrases and hokum.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

[FADE IN: on a prestigious looking mahogany desk. A flag is stretched out across the back wall. It is silver, and shiny, and looks like infused with glitter. There is also a big fuck off black Space Invader on the front of it with “IGC” emblazoned in horrible, 80’s video game font. Sitting at the desk? Well, I’m glad you asked. The man wears a silver polo shirt that matches the flag with the same Space Invader and same “IGC” font on the breast. He is MORTON MURPHY. Sitting there, hands interlaced, he stares down the barrel of the camera.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Hello, Intergalactic Fanatics. I am your friendly Chief Executive Officer to the Intergalactic Championship Commission, the governing body that represents the prestigious Intergalactic Championship.

“Prestigious.” (pffts) ”Prestigious? That was our intention. THAT was our intent.”

[MURPHY’s eye twitches.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“However, PHIL ATKEN, when you rolled Magnus Destructo up and you grabbed a handful of TIGHTS you pushed the boundaries of what IS and ISN’T prestigious.

“Prestigious is our intention. And we, the Intergalactic Championship Commission, are none too pleased with how you went about defending your Championship at Sorry You’re Not a Winner. We’re none too pleased AT ‚Äì ALL!”

[He snaps, thumping a fist down on the mahogany.]

MORTON MURPHY:
”YOU WILL NOT MAKE A MOCKERY OF THIS CHAMPIONSHIP, PHIL! NOT AS LONG AS I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!”

[Calming himself with a sip of water, MORTON runs a hand over his hair to smooth it down.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“I’m sorry about that. I’m not usually as pent up about these things but to hear you bragging, Phil, I can’t HELP but take this personally.

“That’s WHY when you defend your championship, at V for Victoralicious, against Leyenda de Ocho you’ll be doing so on Leyenda’s terms. So here’s what I propose...

“Leyenda de Ocho, as the challenger for the Intergalactic Championship at V for Victoralicious I am ALLOWING you to set the stipulations for the match. Think about it thoughtfully. Don’t jump the gun. I want you to know that we will NOT hold out any stops to allow the stipulations you request.

“To put it bluntly, the match will be on YOUR terms. Think about your opponent. You’re conniving, ungrateful, WORM of an opponent. Take all his strengths and put them in one basket. His weaknesses? Put them in the other. STUDY those weaknesses, Leyenda. Study them good and hard and then, ONLY THEN, can you truly think of a way to deal this out on your terms.

“Cage. Ladder. Bull-rope. Lumberjack. Five referees. Whatever, Leyenda.

“It’s your decision. Make Phil EARN that Championship. Make him give it some credibility. I won’t have him tarnishing the prestige we’re trying to build. I won’t have him rolling you up with a handful of tights.”

[Shakes his head.]

MORTON MURPHY:
”It also brings me to the SuperBeast. Sylo. The man who’s waging a war of whining through his tears. What are you trying to do, Sylo? DROWN US?

“KING of ALL monsters?

“I know another man who would have something to say about that. I know another man who would contend with your words, Sylo.

“But I’ll let him speak for himself.”

[MURPHY points down the barrel of the camera.]

MORTON MURPHY:
”I’ll see you in Pennsylvania, Phil. Bring your dignity.

“And THAT... is... Murphy’s LAW!”

[FADE to BLACK!]

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

'Phil Atken, still polishing his belt.

Atken: Morton Murphy giving his little merchadise machine the upper hand in our match? I am shocked and flabbergasted at this development. Never before have I seen such ripe hypocrisy from the man at the top of the company. Morts, I got to be honest with ya, I beat him Ocho once already, I beat your monster, you ain't getting those limited edition Ocho Championship mugs rolling off the assembly line any time soon because this belt...

Phil stops the shining for a minute before showing it to the camera.

Atken: Is my belt and I don't care if Ocho comes up with a damn "You must be Leyenda de Ocho to win" match, I'LL STILL LEAVE AS CHAMPION. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pen my formal letter of apology to the commission for my audacious act of winning a match.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

(The camera opens to Leyenda de Ocho, on the familiar beaches of Lake Michigan in far north Chicago; they are cold this time of year, but Ocho seems to enjoy the cool air. Sunrise. The bandage has been removed from his chin, the tuft of hair beneath his mask poking through. He wears the same Fierce Deity mask and tunic as he did in the IGC promotional materials for Sorry You're Not A Winner. The briefcase he won during the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match rests beside him in the sand.)

Ocho: "Morton, thank you for this opportunity. I've thought about your proposal a great deal, and I slept on it a bit last night. You're absolutely right - a champion shouldn't use unfair tactics like a handful of tights to win a match. It takes immense physical and emotional sacrifice to even get an OPPORTUNITY for the Intergalactic Championship.

The first time I earned a title shot, it was against two behemoths, two men with vicious mean streaks and who towered over me in a Triangle Rules Match. The second time, it was a four-way Tables, Ladders and Chairs match; I don't need to remind you how utterly brutal that was.

I am of the opinion that an Intergalactic Championship match should reflect that sacrifice.

Morton, I hope you were sincere about sparing no expense for this match. I hope you trust that Phil and I will make it worth your while in the end.

I would like to propose a Three Stages of Zelda Match between myself and Phil Atken for the title.

Don't worry, Phil - I won't make you play any 'vidja games'. Morton wants prestige for this title, and I couldn't agree more - a video game contest between the two of us would be lopsided to the point of complete absurdity. I'm not interested in cheap victories, ESPECIALLY when something as spectacular as that Space Invader belt is on the line. However, I am interested in one thing above all others in this moment - immersion. Can you immerse yourself in my world, Phil? Can you measure up when your opponent is completely, utterly devoted to a pure-hearted ideal? We will find out.

For the first fall of our contest, we will fight in a Ganon Rules Cage Match. Cage matches usually go at the end of these things, I know - but let's push ourselves, Phil. Let's see what battles we wage when this comes first. Twenty foot steel cage around the ring. No count-outs, no disqualification. Here's the kicker - if either of us escapes, falls out of, gets thrown over, or otherwise leaves the cage, we lose the fall. It is reminiscent of any number of Ganon battles in Legend of Zelda where they do battle while surrounded by seemingly bottomless pits. Simply put: pinfall or submission good, leaving the cage bad. Afterwards, the cage will be removed.

For the second fall, we will compete in a Hyrule Castle Ladder Match. Above the ring, there will be a twenty-five foot scaffold. Construction similar in aesthetic to Hyrule Castle is preferred, but I leave that in the competent hands of the commission. The first man to climb a ladder and get both feet on top of the scaffold wins the fall.

If a third fall is necessary, it will be a Skyward Sword Scaffold Match. Last man standing on top of the 25-foot scaffold is the Intergalactic Champion. That simple.

Phil's cunning, or my speed. His opportunism, my heart.

We will put on a battle for the ages. We will settle all scores and remove all doubts as to who deserves to be the Intergalactic Champion.

Immerse yourself in this moment, Phil, for today is the first day we write our destinies."

(Fade to black.)

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Static...

The picture cleared and standing in a dimly lit room was none other than the legend himself; Sylo. His posture was perfect, his demeanor was eerily calm, and he stood with his hands clasped behind his back. The camera was placed far enough back to show his massive frame covered in scars, tattoos, and of course battle wounds from his recent IGC matchup. He smiled, that too was eerie, before he began to speak.

“This video is for the IGC committee and I decided to do it where the world could see. You see I have a few things I’d like to address and instead of closed door politics, back-alley trades, and invisible curtain meetings I feel the world should know just where I stand but first, I ask everyone to take the time to watch and listen to what one Mr. Murphy had to say.”

Sylo disappeared and was replaced by the video from earlier, the one where Murphy had the gall to refer to Sylo’s request as whining. The video finally ended, unedited so everyone could see the truth, and once again Sylo stood in a dimly lit room.

“I’m a bit dumbstruck by Mr. Murphy’s allegations of me whining more than anything else in that video. Did I not refer to de Ocho as the better man on that night? Did I ever contest the results of the match? Did I ever deny losing? The simple answer is no. Did I ask for a rematch? Yes. Did I offer to earn that rematch by facing anyone they chose to put in the ring with me? Yes.” Sylo began to pace back and forth in a small, albeit invisible, line.

“I’d like to ask one de Ocho to tell what he knows since apparently no one seems to listen. I personally called de Ocho and congratulated him. We also spoke of a possible rematch because, let’s face it, de Ocho is building heat and I am one of the biggest faces going today but alas I’m beginning to break the fourth wall. Mr. Ocho can enlighten you with the rest if he so wishes.” Sylo stopped pacing and turned to the camera once more.

“I’ve thought about this and it seems the only man that isn’t afraid of me is Ocho. That’s why I respect the man because there’s a difference between respect and foolish pride. Ocho knows firsthand what it’s like to be inside a ring with me, he knows that even if I should fail that I will leave a lasting impression. Phil Atken on the other hand is a simple minded buffoon. He runs his mouth instead of looking at the chaos in front of him.” Sylo once again pierced through the camera with those glowing predatory blue eyes.

“So again, I’m requesting a chance to get another IGC title shot, be it by the champion’s choice or be it by earning it. To the IGC committee I simply say this: This isn’t a situation that calls for all the bells and whistles. You either say yes or you say no. If you say yes you tell me under what terms and, if I should have to face someone, you tell me who, what kind of match, and where. It’s that simple. Now, in front of thousands, soon to be millions, of youtube viewers the choice is yours. I’m not a hard man to reach and I’ll be waiting.”

With that the video ended leaving the proverbial ball in the IGC committee’s court.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Sorry...I couldn't resist.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Cut to Phil Atken, sitting in front of five laptops, repeatedly clicking "dislike" on Youtube.

Atken: I BLOODY WELL HATE GANGNAM STYLE.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

(CUT TO: Leyenda de Ocho, puzzled look on his face as he stares at a computer screen)

Ocho: "Right. YouTube. THAT'S the image I had in my head when you warned me of the SuperBeast."

(Begins typing a YouTube comment, always a wise idea.)

8AllTheMasks: If you want to take an 'lol you got it' after calling me immediately after the match and saying we should face off again as some sort of perma-binding blood oath, you go right ahead. I've said this already, Sylo - I'm NOT the champ yet. Furthermore, I'm not Morton Murphy, and I'm not the one who books matches in IGC. If I'm fortunate enough to become the champ, I'm not going to be a backstage string-pulling power player, and you should know this already. If Sylo/Ocho II gets booked, cool - but that's not going to be my call. Get off your high horse.

(Cut to black.)

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Cut to Phil Atken, finally on the correct Youtube video.

Atken: Maybe Ocho and Sylo should have that Zelda thingy, you know the thing with the stuff... you guys clearly have issues. Tell you what, you guys sort it out between yourselves and I'll let the winner face me. That seems fair to me. Good deal everyone? Good deal!

Also Morton, I printed out this Wikipedia article on Murphy's Law you might be interested in. The internet really is a fascinating place.

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

Cut to Phil Atken, finally on the correct Youtube video.

Atken: Maybe Ocho and Sylo should have that Zelda thingy, you know the thing with the stuff... you guys clearly have issues. Tell you what, you guys sort it out between yourselves and I'll let the winner face me. That seems fair to me. Good deal everyone? Good deal!

Also Morton, I printed out this Wikipedia article on Murphy's Law you might be interested in. The internet really is a fascinating place.

(Cut to Leyenda de Ocho)

Ocho: "...No."

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

[FADE IN: on some shakey handheld iPhone footage being taken. You can hear the huffing and puffing of the fanboy holding the phone He is filming a man in a charcoal pinstripe suit pacing back and forth out the front of a cafeteria in what looks like Philadelphia..]

PHONE OWNER:
“Dude... that’s fucking Morton Murphy. He’s on the phone. I think this is some sort’f inside scoop kinda shit, man.”

[The phone holder tries to get as close as he can and the audio of MORTON MURPHY becomes clearer as he gets closer to him.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The deal is, my friend, that you come in and you get your guy to tear that Sylo a new asshole. And then when he\'s done with him he does the same to Atken, if Phil manages to keep that belt when he faces Ocho in that crazy match.”

[He pauses, waiting for a response.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“I dunno. It’s some sort of video game thing. I’m in Philly right now getting quotes. I should’f put some sort of money limit on the stips.

“This is going to be fucking expensive.

“This match better go for an hour, or someone better DIE, for me to get ANY return on investment.

“You’re missing the point... the point is you tell our mutual friend he needs to show his face and lay down this challenge for V for Victoralicious.

“Like I said... he lays this down and whoever wins walks away with an Intergalactic Championship shot. No strings attached. He just gets ‚Äì this ‚Äì DONE!”

[MURPHY looks up and spies the iPhone being held up filming it. He covers the mouthpiece.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“HEY! Is that filming? Come here you little bastard!”

[MORTON MURPHY begins charging toward the handheld device.]

PHONE OWNER:
“OH SHIT, DAWG! He’s comin’ right for us!”

[The footage begins swinging back and forth in the hand of the owner as he makes a run for it before-

[CUT to BLACK!]

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

(CUE UP: "The Satan of Hell" by the Black Satans.)

(Our shot opens up on the horrific visage of MAGNUS DESTRUCTO, snarling at the camera with the fury and hatred of a thousand suns burning in his damning gaze.)

Magnus DestructonLISTEN, YOU GOAT-SCROTUM SUCKING LEECHES!! LISTEN TO THE ALMIGHTY PROCLAMATIONS OF THE DREADED DEVOURER!!

INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP COMMISSION!! YOU HAVE THREE SUNS AND THREE MOONS TO HAND OVER THE BLIND AND OBVIOUSLY INBRED RING OFFICIAL THAT WORKED DURING THAT MAIN EVENT, OR THE BARON OF BRUTALITY SHALL HERALD FORTH AN AGE OF DARKNESS AND DOOM THAT WILL BEFALL THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!

IF HE CAN'T USE THE EYES IN HIS FUCKING HUGE, BOOT-EATING, HYDRO-CEPHALIC HEAD, THEN I'LL GLADLY TAKE THEM FROM HIM!! FRIED HUMAN EYES ARE A FAVORED DELICACY IN THE BARONY OF DESTRUCTO, AFTER ALL!!

AND AS FOR YOU, PHIL ATKEN... I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, THERE WAS MORE BRUTALITY IN THAT ONE HANDFUL OF BUTT-CHEEK YOU USED YOU SNEAK AWAY FROM MY MURDEROUS MAW THAN THERE IS IN YOUR ENTIRE BODY!! YOU'VE ESCAPED MY WRATH FOR NOW, BUT KNOW THAT AS LONG AS YOU HOLD THE BELT THAT SHOULD BE MINE BY CONQUEST, MY THIRST FOR BLOOD WILL NEVER BE SLAKED!!

ONTO OTHER MATTERS...

I DON'T KNOW WHO OR WHAT THE FUCK A "SYLO" IS, OTHER THAN THOSE DICK-SHAPED BUILDINGS I SEE STANDING AROUND WHENEVER I TAKE THE DESTRUCTO-MOBILE FOR A SPIN THROUGH SOME BACKWATER REDNECK CESSPOOL... BUT SOMETHING NEEDS TO MADE CLEAR RIGHT HERE AND NOW, BEFORE I START KICKING HEADS OFF LEFT AND RIGHT!!

THERE IS ONLY ONE KING OF ALL MONSTERS... AND SINCE I'M ASSUMING MOST OF YOU ARE TOO RETARDED TO FIGURE OUT WHO THAT IS, IT'S THE MAN-EATING MASTODON YOU SEE BEFORE YOU NOW!!

THEY DON'T CALL ME THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS JUST BECAUSE IT SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME!! IT TOOK WINNING AN ENTIRE FREAKING TOURNAMENT AND THE VIOLENT DECAPITATION THE ORIGINAL IMPULSE FOR ME TO EARN THAT NAMESAKE... AND BELIEVE ME, YOU PUNY MORSELS, I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET SOME JUICED UP POSER NAMED AFTER A DICK-SHAPED FARMER FUCKHOUSE SELL HIS OWN WORTHLESS ASS ON MY HARD FOUGHT ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!

SO SYLO... CONSIDER THIS TO BE MY WAY OF THROWING DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING GAUNTLET!! A GAUNTLET CAST IN BLACK STEEL AND STUDDED WITH THE SPIKES OF HELLSPAWN!! A GAUNTLET STILL CAKED IN THE BLOOD THAT WAS LEFT THERE WHEN I PUNCHED OUT YOUR OBESE AND UGLY WHALE OF A MOTHER!!

THE BARON OF BRUTALITY DEMANDS YOU DRAG YOURSELF INTO THAT FUCKING RING TO ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES OF PLAGIARISM... AND JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T PUSS OUT... A SHOT AT THE INTERGALACTIC CHAMPION WILL BE ON THE LINE!!

NOT THAT ANY OF THAT MATTERS TO YOU, SUPER-QUEEF... BECAUSE FOR LIFTNING MY NAME, I WILL RIP YOUR LEGS OFF BELOW THE KNEE AND FEED YOUR LIMBS TO MY HELLHOUNDS!! MAYBE THEN, WHEN YOU'RE LEFT TO WALKING AROUND ON A COUPLE OF NUBS AND LOOKING AT THE WORLD FROM THE SAME LEVEL AS ALL THE OTHER MEAGER WEAKLINGS OUT THERE IN THE UNIVERSE, YOU'LL REALIZE WHAT A LAME AND UNORIGINAL TARD YOU REALLY ARE!!!!

AND WHETHER IT BE PHIL SHITSPLATKEN OR THAT MASKED MIDGET LAJOYA DELNACHO HOLDING THAT INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, ALL WILL REALIZE, AFTER THEY'VE SEEN THE UNGODLY THINGS I'VE DONE TO YOU, THAT THE FATE OF THE ENTIRE KNOWN UNIVERSE RESTS IN THE BONE-CRUSHING GRASP OF MAGNUS DESTRUCTO!!

HAW-HAW-HAWW-HAAAWWW-HAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!

(With his laugh becoming so guttural and bestial that it's practically a baritone-pitched gurgle emanating from his throat, the shot goes to black.)

 

[Chad]

Re: Recovered Post

The scene would be opened by the sound of a slow and mocking clap. Eventually the view would shift to where Sylo stood looking unamused and more apathetic than anything. He let out an exasperated sigh before rolling his neck letting the bones and tendons crack as he did so.

"This? This is your best? Okay so the proverbial "gauntlet" has been thrown down by a man that screams over shitty music, refers to hell every sentence which, by the way, implies there's a God and we all know that's not true because if there were a God he wouldn't have spawned whatever in the hell that thing is, but I digress. I'm being challenged by a "wrestler", yes the term is being used loosely, that probably got into the business because GWAR told him to fuck off AND apparently is some weird screaming hillbilly S&M loving leather aficionado. So, my answer? Sure, I mean, if I catch something from touching this...thing then I expect you guys to pay for it.

Sylo's nose scrunched up at the thought.

"Also I'd like to throw down my own "gauntlet" to this waste of humanity who honestly should have slid off his mother ass crack and became a congealed spot on the sheets...or back alley cement, whichever, and that challenge is a little known match called a "Monsters Ball". I'm sure the IGC committee can throw their own spin on it to make it even more fun but that comes later. I await your reply, Magnus, even if it'll be loud shitty music with you screaming something about fucking hell spawned pigs or whatever it is you're saying. Oh, and before I go, one more suggestion there "monster" your "evil laugh" sounds more like you're choking on your boyfriends wad. Might want to work on that."

With that everything went to black.