Semifinals! January 13, 2007

[Linguistic]

Intro

(Once again, the cameras fade in to a shot of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA. The crowd is making a lot of noise, and the cameras pan across the arena so that the viewer at home can get a better feel for the atmosphere. After a moment of shooting the crowd, the shot fades to the broadcast booth where Simon Van Helder and Creek Wineberg are ready to call the action.)

SVH: Hello everyone and welcome to the MCW Tag Team Invitational Tournament semifinals! I’m Simon Van Helder and next to me is the very large and not-so-in-charge Creek Wineberg.

CW: That’s the last time I let you make a joke about my weight, geek.

SVH: (ignoring Creek) It has been one hell of a ride to get here, with the holidays and all of the travel issues, but I have been informed by Jalen Latham that each and every scheduled participant of this tournament is at the Staples Center and accounted for.

CW: It’s about *FCC Bleep*in time.

SVH: Watch it Creek! We might not be on broadcast television but this is still screened by the FCC.

CW: Tell the FCC to lick my *FCC Bleep*!

SVH: That’s my broadcast partner, Creek Wineberg, everybody. I don’t know what has his underwear all in a bunch, but I know that we are in for one hell of a night as we will crown a new MCW Heavyweight Champion and we’ll have our big finals match set for next weeks show!

CW: I never thought that I would hear the words “MCW Heavyweight Champion” in the future tense after Bryan Storms was stripped of the title over in Ultimate Championship Wrestling two months ago! I can’t wait to see this battle royale to find out who our next champion is going to be.

SVH: The Chairman has made it painfully clear to everyone working for MCW as well as all of the fans at home that the top priority is the Tag Team tournament, however. Here is a clip from a press conference held earlier in the week.

(A scene is flashed to the screen of Jalen Latham sitting behind a table that has about twenty microphones on top of it.)

Latham: While I feel that it’s important to crown a new MCW champion as soon as possible to fill the void that Bryan Storms left when he turned his back on us, it must be noted that my main goal for the Semifinal show is to showcase the best tag teams from around the world. That is why the opening contest of the night will be the MCW Heavyweight Title Battle Royale. The tag teams that remain in the tournament have worked much to hard for me to come in and allow others to steal their thunder.

(Cut back to the broadcast team.)

SVH: There you have it. The tag teams will take priority tonight.

CW: It’s about time that the tag teams got some shine!

SVH: On that note, we need to take a break.

CW: What? A commercial?

SVH: No, not a commercial but an informative look at one of the biggest events of the year… The ENNIES!!!!

(Highlights of last year’s ENN Awards Ceremony are shown with commentary aimed at hyping the show for this year. You can see all of the excitement and the intrigue at http://www.efednews.net! Check out the forums section!)

 

[Linguistic]

Bryan Storms Segment


[The camera pans to a suite high above the arena floor where, sitting in an expensive looking wingback chair is Bryan Storms, dressed to the nines in a navy blue pinstriped jacket, slacks, a metallic grey dress shirt with the top two buttons undone, and the trademark blue tinted sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. Bryan takes a long drink from the martini stationed on the table next to him before pulling off his sunglasses and smiling at the camera, which has now firmly focused in on the disgraced former MCW champion.]

STORMS: Hello again, my friends. Remember me?

[Storms pauses for crowd reaction, eliciting a loud chorus of boos.]

BS: Apparently so. For those of you who aren’t like these ungrateful morons who shelled out their salaries to get a nosebleed seat and a watered-down twelve dollar beer, those of you who don’t recall who I am and why you should be listening very, very intently, I’ll dole out a bit of a history lesson.

For the uneducated, my name is Bryan Storms, and I was, am, and always will be the biggest impact player that Major Championship Wrestling has ever seen. Not Karl Brown, not Adam Benjamin, certainly not Nakita DaFreaka or Rob Franklin, but me. It was me, not any one of them, that carried the torch for this company when Christian Sands reopened this joint almost a year ago. When the call came up for the up-and-coming stars of the wrestling industry to make their way to the City of Angels, I pulled myself out of a hole I’d dug myself into and was the first f***ing man in line to sign on the dotted line.

I gave everything of myself for this company. I beat all comers, and when everything had been said and done, it was your’s truly who stood atop the heap as the clear and undisputed MCW World Champion, and that accomplishment is something that none of you, not one of you in this crowd, not one of you watching at home, not one of you in the back, and not even this company’s head honcho can take away from me. I won the MCW World Championship fair and square, and that’s going to stay on the books for all eternity.

At that point, I was on top of the world. But another man’s greed intervened with that. Jalen Latham said he invaded UCW for the greater good of this company, but it was a desperate power play on the part of a man who couldn’t hold up a business on his own, a man who couldn’t hold up to the pressure. But, I was the world champ, and I was getting paid, so I played the part of the good soldier. I led a revolution that was easier than getting into Poland during a war in Europe.

But then, the checks stopped coming, and quicker than we’d imagined. Some of the others, they kept playing their role, but I knew that Jalen just couldn’t be trusted. So, I took matters into my own hands. I went into UCW and took their U.S. championship, and then I beat the living hell out of the riffraff that called themselves “Team MCW”.

Did I lose that U.S. belt? Yes I did. It never really mattered to me in the least, to be honest, and I needed to get the hell out of that company before I got pulled back down into the dregs of professional wrestling. But, before I hit the ol’ dusty trail, Big J decided to show he had a pair and a spine, and he took away my MCW World Championship without just cause.

Did you hear that, Jalen? You had no cause, you had no right to take away what was rightfully and deservedly mine. I beat up your corporate shill squad, and when you realized you didn’t have a man that could stand up to me, you decided to take the so-called high road and strip me of the belt without a shred of legitimate justification, other than the fact that he just couldn’t take the fact that I wouldn’t stand with the band of functional retards he called a wrestling promotion.

[Crowd boos heavily.]

BS: Whine as much as you want, morons, but the truth is the truth and none of your collective idiotic braying is going to change that one iota. If anyone’s going to change anything around here, it’ll be me. Because, as I’ve already demonstrated, it certainly won’t be that brilliant and savvy businessman, Jalen Latham who’ll bring this company to the real heights of the wrestling industry.

Oh, and by the way, Jalen, even though I bought a ticket tonight, I won’t need to do that anymore. Because even though you stole my title, you forgot the fact that I’ve got a big, fat, guaranteed contract sitting in my safe back home, and your paying me every god damn cent of that. But, I won’t just sit it out and collect dollar after dollar as it piles up in my bank account. I’m gonna go back to work, Jalen, and if you try to stop me, well, let’s just say I’ll be giving my team of lawyers a chance to figure out how many ways they can make a little maggot like you miserable until you either give me my world championship, or you run away scared.

Because I’m here for what’s mine, Latham, and a puny weasel like you won’t be the one to keep it from me. I want my title back, and I don’t care who I have to get through to get it. You want me to earn it in that ring, that’s just fine. I’ve beaten all these hacks before, and I can do it again.

Oh, but not tonight.

[More boos.]

BS: I’m a paying customer tonight, Jalen, and you’re not getting me out of this suite. Plus, there’s no need for me to sully myself against the list of fine competitors this open call is sure to attract.

Because lord knows, every company would be begging to have a Lindsay Troy-wannabe little girl as champion. What’s her name again?

Right. Rob Franklin. That’s the gal.

And, of course, I’m sure there lining up at the door to pay for the right to see the harbinger of fate, the duchess of doom, the whore you scraped off the floor, Nakita Banana Fana Hannah Montana…

…damn. I lost my train of thought.

Either way, that thing that crawls in the ring is a complete waste of anyone’s $39.99, and if it, or Rob, or any one of the “extremely talented” contenders in tonight’s battle royal gets the privilege of standing across the ring from me as I am crowned the true and undisputed MCW World Champion, then and only then will seeing them in the ring be worth anything near the price of admission.

You’ve got a lot of no-talent hacks at your beck and call, Jalen, none of whom has the right nor the ability to call themselves world champion. But I’ll take on whichever one survives, if only to give them the opportunity to strap MY belt back around MY waist, where it rightfully belongs.

Then, I’ll take on whoever wants to come along and try and take it away from me, as I know you’ll want to do, Jalen. Thing is, I don’t think you’ve got a man, woman, or androgynous beast that can take me in the ring.

I’ll expect your response soon, Jalen. The ball’s in your court. Don’t blow your one opportunity to keep this company out of the toilet once and for all.

Enjoy the show, folks. If nothing else, it’ll be worth a chuckle or two.

 

[Linguistic]

(The cameras cut back to the broadcast team.)

SVH: What the hell was that?

CW: I don’t know who cut our broadcast feed, but whoever did it made sure to give it to MCW’s former World Champ and current arch nemesis, Bryan Storms.

SVH: I take it your not a big fan, either?

CW: I don’t think that anybody who enjoys Major Championship Wrestling wants to have anything to do with the man who led an MCW insurgency in UCW only to bail out of MCW and then later UCW as well. The guy gave no fair warning. He just left. It was despicable and I, for one, don’t plan on ever forgiving him for it.

SVH: I don’t think I’ve heard you be so serious before.

CW: I don’t like the guy, plain and simple.

SVH: Well, with that it’s time to take it to our first match of the…

(Simon Van Helder trails off as if he is being interrupted by something, but the viewing audience is unable to hear anything.)

CW: What is it?

SVH: There is a commotion in the back and we’re waiting for the cameras to go back and show us what happened.

(Cut to a camera backstage running through the halls. The camera finally turns a corner to reveal what the commotion was all about. Nakita Dahaka and her manager Delilah Demonik are laid completely out. Karla Starr stands triumphantly over both of them with a steel chair in her hand.)

Karla: Frankie can thank me later. You two wanted to ambush me again last week and get your dignity back? Paybacks, well, they are a *****… and you two have just been hit by the baddest one!

(Karla turns toward the camera and stands there with a smile on her face.)

Karla: The fans can thank me later. As for you, Mister Cameraman, make sure you tell these two to come over to VENUS if they want to have a discussion about their concussions.

(Karla walks away as the cameras fade back to the broadcast team.)

SVH: It looks like Nakita Dahaka and Karla Starr both won’t be making an appearance in the battle royale!

CW: Who does that leave us with?

SVH: We’ve got a “Blue Collar” Rusty Dodes, Blade, Steve Marley, Steve Lombardi, Ernest Miller, Rob Franklin, and Chandler Maxwell.

CW: Still a decent amount of talent.

SVH: We’ve still got the two semifinal matches, as well. It’s going to be really interesting to watch them.

CW: What about the battle royale?

SVH: Well, I’ve been informed that it is still a go, but first we’ve got to go backstage where BLITZ is getting ready for their match with Big Dog and Dan Ryan, which coincidentally is listed as our MAIN EVENT of the night!

CW: As much as I respect the hell out of the NAPW teams involved, I think this match has a lot of the ingredients that make it the fan favorite of the night. Yes, we have the MCW Heavyweight Championship on the line tonight, but the fans came here to watch these four tag teams. In the end, it boils down to these four teams.

SVH: Thanks for stealing my thunder, Creek. As I was saying, here are Blitz back in the locker room with their manager, Leonard Johnson.

(The scene cuts back to the humongous Max and Jecht standing with Leonard Johnson in the back. Leonard is on his cell phone talking to somebody that we will never know. Max and Jecht are pumping themselves up for one of the biggest matches of their career.)

SVH: Those three are definitely ready for tonight.

CW: I wonder how Dan Ryan and Big Dog are preparing for the fight?

SVH: It’s funny you should ask that, because we’ve got Big Dog and Dan Ryan in the back as well.

(Camera cuts to another backstage locker room where Big Dog and Dan Ryan are standing by. There are no microphones, just Big Dog sitting with his head in his hands intently talking to himself with Dan Ryan greased up like a well-oiled machine flexing and doing some warm up exercises.)

CW: These two teams couldn’t be any more different, could they?

SVH: You said a mouthful. While we’ve been away from the ring, the participants for the battle royale have assembled. Let’s take it down to the ring and finally get the action started for the night!

 

[Linguistic]

Battle Royale for the MCW Heavyweight Title


The opening match for the night was not a preliminary bout with relative unknowns facing off for a chance to continue wrestling for the company. Instead, these relative unknowns were battling to carry the mantle as best new or underutilized wrestler in professional wrestling. This person would be the MCW heavyweight Champion!

In the ring at the start of the match were nine individuals: “Blue Collar” Rusty Dodes, Blade, Steve Marley, “Brooklyn Brawler” Steve Lombardi, “The Cat” Ernest Miller, Rob Franklin, and Chandler Maxwell. Conspicuous by her absence was Nakita Dahaka, who earlier in the night had been destroyed by Karla Starr and a steel chair.

As the match got underway, two of MCW’s resident jobbers seem to join forces. Both double-teamed Rusty Dodes in the corner. Steve Marley and Blade went at it in another. Rob Franklin and Chandler Maxwell in yet another. It was a lukewarm reception from the crowd, but this was attributed to the fact that most of these wrestlers had not seen much action in the ring in recent months. The exception to this was Chandler Maxwell and Rob Franklin. Both of these individuals proved to be a focal point of the battle royale.

After a few minutes of suffering from a double-team, Rusty Dodes began firing off some tremendous bionic elbows on Ernest Miller and Steve Lombardi. Once he managed to get the upper hand, Blade came over with the assist and both Miller and “The Brooklyn Brawler” were eliminated almost simultaneously.

Eliminated: “Brooklyn Brawler” Steve Lombardi and “The Cat” Ernest Miller.

Blade celebrated, but a recovered Steve Marley came over and attempted to capitalize. Instead, Rusty Dodes cut him off and clotheslined him over the top rope and to the outside.

Eliminated: Steve Marley

And then there were four. Chandler Maxwell and Rob Franklin were being absolutely brutal on each other in the corner, exchanging knife-edge chops. Meanwhile, Blade had taken the opportunity to attack Rusty Dodes and had him in the corner. Suddenly, a commotion was heard and Nakita Dahaka appeared at the entranceway. She began to hobble down to ringside on a mission. The crowd didn’t know what to make of it, as these days because of her representation of MCW in Ultimate Championship Wrestling, she has become a sort of cult favorite. Upon entering the ring, she immediately dumped Blade over the top rope as he wasn’t paying any attention.

Eliminated: Blade

The commentary team quickly explained that Nakita was cleared to participate because she had been scheduled to the entire time. This might not have been the best decision for her, though, as she immediately succumbed to her injuries in the center of the ring. Rob Franklin, who could escape his contract work to Dahaka by eliminating her in the battle royale, ditched his attack on Chandler Maxwell in order to eliminate her. This freed up both Rusty Dodes and Chandler Maxwell to take a breather and begin the road to recovery.

Franklin lays into Dahaka, ultimately sending her into the ropes for a ride before meeting her in the center of the ring with a beautiful standing dropkick. The broadcast team makes mention that whether one likes Franklin or not, one has to admit that he is a very promising rookie. After this is said, Rusty Dodes is sent out of the ring by a standing sidekick from Chandler Maxwell.

Eliminated: “Blue Collar” Rusty Dodes

Chandler collapses, trying to regain his strength as Rob Franklin sends Nakita Dahaka into the ropes. He attempts a clothesline off of the rebound but she ducks and on her next rebound attempts to hit Franklin with a flying forearm. He moves out of the way and Nakita jumps completely over the ropes!

Eliminated: Nakita Dahaka

Rob becomes ecstatic, motioning that he is done… free of his contract with Nakita. There is a mixed reaction from the crowd, but as Nakita gets up off of the arena floor she shakes her head at Franklin. The broadcast team debated whether Rob Franklin is genuinely free of his contract, as Nakita actually eliminated herself. The debate goes on for a minute, but out of nowhere a completely recovered Chandler Maxwell grabs the smaller Franklin from behind and sends him over the top rope!

Eliminated: Rob Franklin.

Winner… and NEW MCW Heavyweight Champion… “FIRST CLASS” CHANDLER MAXWELL!

Adam Benjamin joined Chandler Maxwell in the ring for a celebration as Rob Franklin attacked Nakita Dahaka on the outside.

 

[Linguistic]

SVH: We need to get security out here to clear this mess up so that we can kick the tag team tournament into high gear!

CW: I could stand to watch “Yours Truly” and “First Class” celebrate in the ring for a little longer. What a genuinely awesome thing to witness. Adam Benjamin, former MCW Heavyweight Champion and current MCW Legend trains his little cousin to become a great MCW Heavyweight Champion in his own right!

SVH: I don’t know whether that will be entirely accurate. Only time will tell, as Bryan Storms is waiting in the wings and obviously wants his title back!

CW: HIS title? Last time I checked, Chandler Maxwell is the champion, now! This is great. There is going to be a huge party tonight and I, for one, plan to attend.

SVH: Folks, for those of you that just missed it, Adam Benjamin’s protégé, Chandler Maxwell, has just secured his place in the history books by capitalizing on a golden opportunity and becoming MCW Heavyweight Champion.

CW: Capitalizing? You make it sound like this was nothing more than an opportunistic hit and run. Mark my words, Chandler Maxwell is here to stay.

SVH: Once again, all I can say is that only time will tell. Let’s not forget though, we have two HUGE tag team matches tonight.

CW: Speaking of which, I wonder what those two crazy NAPW tag teams are up to right now…

(The television switches to a split screen. On the left is the New & Improved D-X acting as only they know how to act, obviously getting ready to leave and make their way down for their semifinal match. On the right is the team of Simply Beautiful and Big Bad Brian Bruno. They seem to be having an argument about something, but it’s nothing serious… just the typical argument that they are used to having from the looks of it.)

SVH: We’re going to take a quick break from the action to show you a video package on the life of Michael Hegstrand, but when we get back it will be the New & Improved D-X of New Alberta Pro Wrestling taking on their NAPW counterparts, Simply Beautiful and Big Bad Brian Bruno!

(Cue up the Hegstrand video package showing highlights of his life all the way up to his untimely demise. Long live Road Warrior Hawk!)

 

[Linguistic]

New & Improved D-X vs Simply Beautiful and Big Bad Brian Bruno


Six NAPW teams entered the tournament, but in this matchup the two remaining tag teams from the organization square off for the right to continue on to the finals. The New & Improved D-X started off with some beautiful wrestling in an attempt to set the pace for the night. Simply Beautiful was singled out by Bruce Richards and Kyle Roberts, and it was obvious from the very beginning of the match that the current NAPW tag team champions were not going to settle with just arriving to the semifinals. With SB cut off from his rough and tough tag team partner, both members of D-X continued to come up with new and innovative ways to press the attack on Simply Beautiful.

What they weren’t counting on was the fact that SB had no plans of leaving the tournament in the semifinals. He fought his way out of the corner, and when Kyle Roberts closed the distance in an attempt to cut him off from making the tag, he even managed to hook Roberts in a fisherman’s suplex pinning combination for a stunning two count. As soon as Roberts kicked out, SB made it his mission to finally make the tag.

And make the tag he did. Big Bad Brian Bruno came in and proceeded to clean house. With both members of D-X on the outside, Bruno played to the crowd a little bit to a mixed reaction. While he was in there playing to the crowd, however, both Richards and Roberts were ensuring that SB didn’t make it back into the action by double suplexing him to the Staples Center floor. When Bruno turned around to find something to fight, he got more than he bargained for as both members of D-X hit the ring and quickly gained the upper hand over the big guy.

After being overwhelmed by the New & Improved D-X, it wasn’t long until they were able to hook him in the same move that had gained them victories in the first two rounds: the Down & Dirty. With Simply Beautiful stuck on the outside, it was a three count and a place in the finals for Bruce Richards and Kyle Roberts.

New & Improved D-X defeated Simply Beautiful and Big Bad Brian Bruno when Bruce Richards pinned Big Bad Brian Bruno after a Down & Dirty.

 

[Linguistic]

SVH: It seemed like the New & Improved D-X were on a mission tonight!

CW: Have you been blind during this whole tournament? They have been on a mission since they threw their names in the tournament! They defeated the Highland Park Social Club, Irishred & James Irish, and now Simply Beautiful and Big Bad Brian Bruno! This is one of the strongest tag teams in professional wresting today!

SVH: I agree that they have been dominant in the tournament thus far. How will they fare against the winner of our final match of the evening.

CW: That just depends on whom they are facing. I really believe that their best bet is against Dan Ryan and Big Dog.

SVH: Why do you say that?

CW: It’s obvious to me that they have A1E’s number. They beat both of the other top-rated tag teams from A1E, it could prove to be a great psychological advantage.

SVH: I personally think that they’d do well against the team of Blitz.

CW: I don’t think so. Blitz seem to be ready for any and all challenges, and with Leonard Johnson in their corner it would seem that they might have the size, the ability, and the brains advantage over New & Improved D-X.

SVH: Well Creek, it won’t be long until we can really debate the outcome of the Finals match, as the Main Event of the evening is about to kick off!

CW: I’m excited about this. Let’s do it!

 

[Linguistic]

Big Dog and Dan Ryan vs Blitz


The three teams remaining in the tournament have been regarded as the best for the entire year so it has been no surprise that they are still standing. After the dust settles in this match, the surviving teams will be down to the slim number of two. It was Big Dog and Dan Ryan taking on Dan Ryan’s premier EPW tag team Blitz with their manager, Leonard Johnson, in their corner. Calling this match the main event was a big understatement, as it quickly became a “match of the tournament” candidate.

When the bell rang, Dan Ryan teased that he would start the match off against the tag team that is on his payroll. The fans went nuts, but of course that was just too good to be true as Big Dog started off against Max. Max gained the initiative early through strength and some breathtaking aerial moves that will be shown on highlight reels for years to come. At one point, as Big Dog was trying to recover from a sidewalk slam, Max flew off of the top rope with a flying body press that would make a young Brian Pillman jealous.

If you think that something like that would keep the Big Dog down, then you’ve got another thing coming. Later in the match against Jecht, Big Dog jumped on the big man’s back and after hanging there for a moment managed to swing backward and catch Jecht in a reverse DDT! The crowd erupted. It took what seemed like an eternity, but Big Dog made the tag to Dan Ryan. That single tag was the tag heard round the world, as the Staples Center crowd almost managed to literally blow the roof off of the building! Neither Shaq and Kobe, nor Magic and Kareem could have done something like that in Los Angeles, no matter what arena they were playing at!

Ryan entered the ring and at the urging of Leonard Johnson, Max reentered the ring to protect his tag team partner. For two whole minutes, Dan Ryan was able to keep his employees at bay. Creek Wineberg from the broadcast team made a joke that Blitz were being paid by the minute to let Ryan beat them up, but the way Ryan was fighting them off you would have thought that comment had some bit of truth to it.

As happens in most tag team matches when a wrestler gets the hot tag, Ryan was finally overtaken by both Blitz members. Unfortunately for Blitz, Big Dog had used those precious few minutes to catch his second wind. He came in and hit the illegal man (Max) with a DOG POUND out of nowhere. Ryan attempted the cover as Big Dog ran to cut off Jecht, but the referee wouldn’t count because he knew that Jecht was the legal man. Big Dog was sent to the outside by Jecht, which left Dan Ryan was in the ring with him and a recovering Max.

Ryan attempted to close the distance with Jecht but ran straight into a big boot. With Big Dog making a slow return to his feet on the outside and with Max fully recovered on the inside of the ring, Ryan was vulnerable to the one thing that even “The Egobuster” would be hard pressed to kick out of: Blitzkrieg! Blitz’s finisher obliterated Dan Ryan and Max quickly ran to meet Big Dog, who was trying to make the save. 1… 2… 3!!!!!

Blitz defeated Big Dog and Dan Ryan by pinfall when Jecht pinned Dan Ryan after a Blitzkrieg!

 

[Linguistic]

SVH: That was one hell of a match. Such intensity from both teams in their fight to enter the finals.

CW: Our brackets are set! It will be EPW’s Blitz taking on NAPW’s New & Improved D-X in the finals for the money and the coveted Hegstrand Award!

SVH: Before we close out the show tonight, we need to tell all of our fans about the card they will have the privilege of seeing next week as it stand tonight:


Heavyweight Title: “First Class” Chandler Maxwell (Champion) vs Bryan Storms

MAIN EVENT: Blitz w/ Leonard Johnson vs New & Improved D-X

Stay tuned for more information in the upcoming days!

CW: I still can’t believe that Mr. Latham is giving Bryan Storms a title shot, but at least I am getting one hell of a main event!

SVH: Folks, that’s all of the time that we have for tonight. On behalf of Creek Wineberg and the entire MCW team I would like to say thank you and good night!

(Fade to the MCW logo and then to black.)