Unmerry Sammy is gonna get his @$$ whooped, cos he's got nothing better to do...
(At Wal-Mart, a huge crowd is gathered an there are people waiting in line. There is a banner which has the promotional poster of EUWC’s latest motion picture DVD release of “The League of Extraordinary Wrestlers.” Fans are waiting in line as everyone is getting their DVD cover signed by the movie’s cast member and EUWC Superstar Nero. As Nero signs DVD cover after another, Staci Seymore approaches him with a DVD. Nero doesn’t notice her.)
Nero: And who should I make it out to?
Staci: Hi Nero, its me, Staci.
Nero: Right, “To Staci…” (Nero looks at Staci and gets up and starts screaming.)
Staci: So,.. .. .. how are you?
Nero: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! WHAT ARE.. WHY ARE..WHAT..WHY ARE YOU DOING HERE!! WHY ARE YOU HERE???!!!! WHY WHY WHAT HOW WHY.. WHYYYYYYYY!!!???
Staci: Umm.. to get my DVD signed?
Nero: Oh.. that’s okay then.
Staci: And I was wondering...
Nero: AWW Crap!
Staci: If you could answer some questions.
Nero: Yes, I don’t know WHY I couldn’t figure that out after spotting the camera crew right next to me. (Looks into camera which is right next to him) GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!!!
Staci: So, could we...
Nero: Fine, just make it snappy. These fans here are waiting to get their DVD’s signed by The Great and Almighty Nero. No wait, you know what, just move on the side here and let me sign these DVDs.
Staci: Fine (moves out of the line and Nero continues signing other peoples DVDs.) So Nero, you’re obviously on cloud nine right now after your movie and all the developments happening in the EUWC.
Nero: Ya think? Trust me missy, this movie is the biggest thing that hit the screen and do you know why? You (talks to one of the fans.) Why is LXW a MAJOR hit?
Fan: Because of The Great and Almighty Nero!
Nero: See?Fan: And the Unnoticeable guy, and the no-seller, and HOGAN!!!
Nero: Yeah YEAH! Now MOVE IT!
Staci: Anyways, you also have been doing an incredible job with Sunday Nero LIVE and next week on Mainframe, you return to the ring in your first match in a year as you face the EUWC Unites States Champion Samuel Roundtree in a non-title match...
Nero: Yeah that dumb@$$ 8-ball head is lucky I’m not gonna take his title next week. Trust me, its like stealing candy from a baby, a really UGLY baby! Seriously, if it were a title match, SAY HELLO TO THE NEW EUWC UNITED STATES CHAMPION, THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY NERO!!! But hey, if he REALLY wants to spend all that money on Madison Square Garden for that STUPID Empty Arena match, which by the way, is incredibly STUPID, with that really STUPID Unclassy guy, then go ahead you STUPID baby! And did I mention that the match is totally STUPID?!
Nero: Never mind. Anyways, like I said, at Mainframe, he’ll be thinking about what kind of wheelchair to use for Ultra Brawl, because I’m gonna beat him up so bad, he wont be walking for a while. Oh and a little message for Sammy, I should recommend the automatic one, at least your fingers will still work. Also, for Mainframe, may I recommend the deluxe elite medical crew, complete with four members of the medical staff, a neck brace, a stretcher big enough to haul off your fat @$$, and if you order now, you can get the ambulance ride for free. And best of all, you can get to press the siren button. Isn’t that nice?
Nero: Yeah. They do that just to make sure your brain hasn’t been beaten senseless. That or just asking him how many fingers the medic’s holding up.
Staci: Okay. This may sound real early but do you have any thoughts on your match at Ultra Brawl VII for the WWC Continental Championship against “The Vagabond” R.J. Harris?
Staci: R.J. Harris?
Staci: You know, the WWC Continental Champion.
Nero: No I don’t! I don’t care who the guy is. So long as he’s coming to the ring to lose his pretty little title belt to The Great and Almighty Nero, I aint stopping him. But he better not complain afterwards when he’s lying flat on his back. I’d say “Dude! You’re lucky! You just met and lost to GREATNESS!” There’s no shame in that.
Staci: So that’s your overall opinion about R.J. Harris?
Nero: Look, I don’t know the guy and personally I don’t care. I don’t have the time right now to go on commenting about some guy from some little fed. Infact, I don’t have the time to talk to you either. All I can say is Harris, watch my match with Unmerry Sammy and you’ll get the drill. And Sammy, remember the drill, I kick your fat @$$, pin you 123, end of story, FINITO! Now PUH-lease, would you leave now?
Staci: Yeah that’s about it. Thanks for your time. (Staci leaves.)
Nero: GOD! Why can’t they leave greatness alone? Okay who’s next..?