(FADEIN to the locker room area in Huntington, West Virginia. Boogie Smallz just finished his first round match-up with Jack Eastwood and is seated on a wooden bench between the lockers. Monitors are hanging from the ceiling in each corner of the room airing the live action taking place in the arena.
The match that is currently taking place is between Jesse Ramey and Mark McNasty. Boogie knows that the winner of this bout is the man he will face in round two of the ULTRATITLE tournament. Smallz is undoing the tape on his hands and wrists while looking up at the monitor studying each wrestler in the ring.
A cameraman comes up to Boogie and zooms in on his face while he watches intently. Ramey hits the Sunset Flip Powerbomb on McNasty and earns the victory. Smallz nods at the results of the match and notices the cameraman.)
BOOGIE SMALLZ: What the kcuf are you doin’ here? I know that you guys get all access, but isn’t this a little too much?
CAMERAMAN: We’re trying to do this with everyone. You now know that in Round Two of the ULTRATITLE tournament you will be facing Jesse Ramey. What are your thoughts?
BOOGIE SMALLZ: Look…I don’t know this fool…nor do I care. The guy has some skills. At first, I thought McNasty was gonna pull it out but Ramey hit that move out of nowhere and dusted that punk off. Good for him. Now if you will excuse me…I will catch up with you later.
(CUTTO 20 minutes later. Boogie is in an alley outside of the arena. Smallz is wearing a black ULTRATITLE t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and some black Rocawear jeans. He has the old school black furry Kangol hat on his head, a diamond and platinum medallion around his neck, and an unlit cigar clenched in his teeth. He removes the cigar, puts it between his fingers, and addresses the camera.)
BOOGIE SMALLZ: Here we are. Nothin’ like the hood I grew up in, but the closest thing I could find in this hick town. I could be out celebratin’ with the rest of the peeps that won their matches, but my partyin’ days are over.
(Looks at the unlit cigar in his hand, raises it to his lips, and goes through the inhale/exhale motions.)
Old habits are hard break. The good ol’ post-match blunt light-up.
(Runs the cigar under his nose, smelling the tobacco inside.)
Back in the day, it wouldn’t take me anytime to split this cigar up, empty out the tobacco, stuff it with some of that Blueberry YumYum, roll that ish up, and puff out. Part of me misses those days, but it’s only a small part.
My priorities far outweigh any of the foolishness that I had goin’ on in my life back then. After beating Jack Eastwood, I realized that I never want to live that life again. Facing him was almost therapeutic. I’m angry at how I used to be, at the wasted potential I had that I basically jacked off.
I’m not sayin’ that my time is up…far from it. But when I reflect on all of the things that could’ve been...that anger and rage builds up inside. (Slight pause.) Well…Eastwood was a manifestation of the old me. Everything I used to stand for and believed in. Trust me; I wasn’t a delusional international drug dealer or a racist prick. I did my fair share of dirt, but I had to do what I had to do. Guess I was a product of my environment.
I can’t beat myself up, not physically at least. No more than I have already beaten myself up mentally. So poundin’ the ever livin’ ish out of Eastwood got a lot out of my system.
(Goes through the inhale/exhale motions with the unlit cigar.)
But don’t worry, Ramey, I still have plenty left in the tank to take out on you!
(Smallz mean mugs the camera and looks intently into the lens.)
This may surprise you, may not, but I watched your match tonight. I saw the recap of the promos between you and McNasty…so I got a feel of where you are comin’ from.
I feel, in some strange way, you and I are a lot alike.
Then I got on the internet and saw your win-loss record (Shakes his head.)…and realized we are NOTHIN’ ALIKE. (Grins.)
You’ve been around this biz almost as long as I have. You’ve been under utilized, misused by the suits runnin’ these companies, and have absolutely jacksh** to show for it. Believe me, I can totally relate to that.
And while some of each of our stories has a few parallels…that’s about it. That’s where it stops.
You continue to accept the ish the suits feed you. Me? I’ll have NONE OF IT! I refuse to let any promoters dictate to me what my place in the company is! I’m a ma’phukin’ star and GOT-DAMNIT…that’s how I’m gonna be treated! Don’t mistake that statement as that of a prima donna. I paid my dues and now it’s my time for the spotlight!
(Smallz once again goes through the inhale/exhale motions with the unlit cigar. Flicking away nonexistent ash.)
But then again…maybe that’s my problem. Maybe my attitude is kcufed up and that’s why I currently don’t have a job. No one has called me. No companies want to employ me. I’m livin’ off of what I did up until I walked away from the ring a few years ago.
(Boogie looks away out of frustration and the lack of attention he has been receiving. He lets out a deep breath and looks back at the camera.)
Then it all sinks in. The importance of the ULTRATITLE. The reason why I decided to give this business one more try and cement my legacy among the elite in the industry. People have cast me aside. They’ve forgotten what a guy like me brings to the table!
Well I guess it’s up to me to REMIND THEM! To REFRESH THEIR MEMORY! And guess what, Ramey…I have you to thank. I’m not going to be some mindless jackass…wasting my time for a company that doesn’t give a damn about me!
I guess what I’m sayin’ is, I’m not gonna be like Jesse Ramey!
(Smallz smiles at the thought. He puffs his unlit cigar and lets out a big exhale.)
Old habits ARE hard to break. (Grins.) But one old habit that I will NEVER break…no matter how much the haters wish I would…is the habit of WINNING!
Ramey, it’s time to put the “rabid dog” down. That’s what you called yourself, right? A rabid dog because you have no other options but to win the ULTRATITLE? Riiight.
Here’s the thing, Jess. I think in your grand scheme, you failed to realize what exactly you would be up against after “The Big Nasty”. I can GUARANTEE that I am not a burpin’ retard like he is. You’ve got your work cut out for you this round.
The “rabid dog” is bein’ put to sleep. Everyone knows what happens at the end of Old Yeller…unfortunately for you…you will suffer a similar fate. ‘Cuz I’m gonna lullabye yo’ ass! Now…
FADE ME OUT!
(Smallz takes another puff on the unlit cigar as the camera FADES TO BLACK)
(FADEIN to a makeshift talk show set inside the gym owned by Boogie Smallz. A red curtain poses as the backdrop. A small two person kitchen table and barstools are setup for the host and the guest. Boogie’s cousin, Ray Ray, is handling the behind the scenes production. He has a floor lamp in his hands, using it as a spotlight. The light is doing the figure-eight motions on the red curtain.
On the side of the camera shot and out of view, Smallz is acting as the announcer about to introduce himself.)
BOOGIE SMALLZ:(In a professional announcer’s voice.) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the pilot episode of a new talk show on ESEN….It’s a Smallz World! And now, without further ado, please give a warm round of applause for BOOOGIIIEEE SMALLLZZZ!
(Ray Ray hits a button on an old late 1980’s dual-cassette tape boombox. The sound of a crowd cheering can be heard. Boogie walks into the camera shot and the makeshift spotlight is shinning on him. Smallz is wearing a blue sports coat over a black t-shirt and black jeans. He waves to the “audience” and takes a seat in a barstool behind the table. Ray Ray stops the applause tape and the camera gives a tight shot of Boogie from the waist up.)
It’s great to be here tonight! Yes indeed. Guess this is the time for a little openin’ monologue? Alright then. (Clears throat.) Hey folks…what’s the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns twelve. OH SNAP! Alright alright. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! OH YEAH! Some of you guys out there know what I’m talkin’ about.
Who writes this stuff? Ray Ray, was it you? Well…the opening didn’t go too well. Let me shift topics.
The ULTRATITLE. Lots of talk about the tournament. Major upsets, a lucky loser, and tons of controversy. Me, I don’t think any of that applies to me…unless you count me being on the receiving end of a racial slur. But hey…I dealt with that ish and I’m still standin’. What happened to Eastwood? I don’t think anyone really cares.
My next opponent, well…I don’t think many people out there care about him either. His name is Jesse Ramey and he comes to us out of ACW. And he goes by the nickname of “The Resurrected Anti-Star”.
An Anti-Star. What does that really mean? Some could say it means that that particular individual shies away from the spotlight and doesn’t want to be noticed for his or her efforts. Others may see it as a stamp of shame because he or she doesn’t have the goods to get the job done…to be a superstar and all of what that entails. Television ratings, merchandise sales, pay per view buy rates, all of the measuring sticks that companies use to quantify the worth of their talent.
Which one are you, Ramey? Which definition of the term best fits your mindset?
My opinion…it’s the latter. You come out on ESEN television and have zero charisma. You are obviously rundown. A man at the end of his rope. A man who should take the end of that rope…make a noose, and end your existence. You bring absolutely nothing to the table.
Mark McNasty damn near sent you packin’ in Round One. After watching the match again, you barely escaped with a win. But in fairness to you, you did win. Unfortunately though, that will be your ONLY WIN in the ULTRATITLE tournament!
It’s disappointing. And now I see why you have waddled in mediocrity for so long. You don’t have the passion or the desire to be the best. You aren’t serious about the ULTRATITLE. So why exactly are you here? You just want to be another statistic? Helpin’ me pad my stats so I can move on to the next round and chalk-up an impressive resume on the way? It’s just sad…damn near depressing.
So I have decided to take it upon myself to bring Jesse Ramey out here, at my personal expense, so he can confront me on my talk show.
(Some noises are occurring off camera, as “Jesse” makes his way to the set. The camera zooms out to reveal the guest sitting on the stool next to Boogie. It is a blowup doll with long black haired wig on and a Jesse Ramey t-shirt on.)
Jesse…so glad you could make it. I know we have had some heated words as of late. You have really said a mouthful.
(Close-up shot of the “O” shaped mouth on the doll, then back to a full shot of the two on the set.)
BOOGIE: Easy…easy. Let’s not start a fight out here. We can try to be civilized. I will admit that I said some pretty hurtful things about you recently. Attacking your character, your motivation…or lack there of. What do you have to say about that?
BOOGIE: Look…don’t raise your voice. We can discuss this as rational human beings. I want your voice to be heard. You have been pretty quiet about our match and I figured that maybe it was out of anger. I am giving you this platform to explain your side of the story. Come on now…this has got to be eating at you. What say you?
BOOGIE: The silent treatment, huh? My wife does the same thing to me when I forget to take out the trash or forget to pick little Boogie Jr. up from school. You wanna act like that? Well…I guess this is just a waste of time. Thanks for coming out tonight and gracin’ us with your presence. A lot of people think you will be successful in our match, but I really don’t see how. You come out on my show; insult me and the fine folks watching this on ESEN. I mean…come on. You gotta want to say somethin’ in your defense. Maybe say thanks to your fans, both of them, that are tuned in tonight watchin’ your guest appearance on my show…It’s A Smallz World!
BOOGIE: Well, I guess we will agree to disagree. I’d like to thank you for showin’ up and certainly hope that you won’t suffer from embarrassment and not show up for our match in Round Two of the ULTRATITLE tournament. Now…get the kcuf off my set!
(Boogie slaps the face of the blowup doll. It slumps over and falls to the floor.)
That’s all the time we have here tonight. I hope the ESEN execs like the show and want to see more of it. Fans, you can vote in the online poll and let your voices be heard. I’d like to thank my producer, Ray Ray, for all of his hard work. And also remind all of you to tune in to the next round of the ULTRATITLE tournament…exclusively on this station next week. Play us out, Ray Ray.
(Ray Ray clicks on the 2nd tape deck and the song “Black Superman” by Above The Law begins to play. Boogie stands up out of his stool, walks over to the “Jesse” blowup doll, picks it up, slaps it in the face, and then punts it out of the camera’s view. FADE TO BLACK)
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