(OOC: Apologies for not getting this up sooner and borderline deadline hugging and sandbagging. It won't happen again, but I've been busy as hell this week.)
The scene is backstage (specifically, in the Thrillbillies' locker room) at the United Center, site of MBE's pay-per-view event Total Elimination. Standing by, in their ring gear and sweaty as pigs, are Hoss Garrison and Jake McCody. McCody has his MBE Tag Team Championship belt fastened across his waist, and Garrison has his slung over the shoulder. Hoss is holding a microphone.
Hoss: Hello all you Yankee sons of b*tches...
Jake: Hoss, Hoss, that ain't no way to greet folks we ain't never met and therefore, ain't got no beef with.
Hoss: Dangit, Jake, but that was a dang good inter-o-duction! I thought that up all by myself!
Jake: That's all well an' good, but it ain't no way to greet these fans.
Hoss: Awwright...
Hoss clears his throat.
Hoss: Hello all you Yankee slankers! Just in case y'all didn't know, I'm Hoss Garrison, an' this is my best friend and tag team pardner, Jake McCody. Together, we make up the MBE World Tag Team Champions, better known as The Thrillbillies. Now, if'n y'all know anythin' MBE, y'all will know that we just went out there and defended our Tag Team Championships in an eeee-limination match, a match where I was the only one left standin'. I even done put both of them fairy hooligans down wit' my Dixie Driver. Y'all afraid yet? HUH?
Well, if y'all isn't, y'all should be. Y'know why? Cuz lemme let y'all in on a little secret. Me an' Jake, we ain't got no fear. None at all! We jump from the highest heights. We ain't afraid to take no risk, or enter into any fight, no matter how the odds are stacked 'gainst us. Hell, we'll even drive a hemi-powered pickup through the fires and... and off a tall building... and... and...
Jake takes the mic away from Hoss.
Jake: That's alright, Hoss. We know what you're gettin' at.
Hoss: Dangit! I hate it when that happens... lemme get the mic back, I gots somethin' to say fer our opponents.
Jake hands the mic back to Hoss.
Hoss: Now... Beast, yer a fearsome man, a tough customer if you wiiill. But let's face it here. Yer teamin' wit' a queer Englishman. I mean, c'mon. How can ya expect him to watch yer back when he's tryin' to watch yer backside?
Jake takes the microphone away from Hoss again.
Jake: That's alright Hoss. I'll take it from here.
Hoss shrugs as Jake begins his portion.
Jake: Beast, Adam Benjamin, now I ain't gonna stand up here and patronize y'all and tell y'all that y'all ain't got no chance cuz you ain't teamed together as long as me and Hoss have. Well, I wasn't, but then I done found out some bits a' prime information. Seems both a' y'all don't like each other. I guess it's safe to say that y'all are enemies. As my daddy once told me, that changes everythin'.
I mean, Beast, how can you trust Benjamin to watch yer back in there? An' no, it ain't cuz he's checkin' yer backside out like my partner's implyin' here. It wasn't that long ago when you was battlin' him over yer EPW World Championship. I'll make an educated guess here and say that he still has some bad blood fer you over that, especially when he couldn't close the deal in all them matches. Certain amount a' professional jealousy goin' there, an' no matter how much he might deny it, I'm bettin' he still resents you.
I know what you might think there, Beast. He might work well wit' you in spite of his hatred. Y'all may have gotten together in preparation fer this, and now y'all are butt-buddies. Y'all can give all the explanations in the world, but in the end, yer still gonna have that pit in yer stomach. Yer still gonna have them doubts in the back of yer mind. An' when yer mind ain't at peace, well, there are gonna be times when it affects yer game.
Now, like my pardner said over here, we're the Thrillbillies and we're named as such because we ain't afraid of takin' risks. That's another thing you gotta worry about. What are we gonna come at you wit'? How are y'all gonna be able to deal wit' us when there ain't nothin' we won't do to come outta this tournament wit' that trophy fer us, fer South Carolina and fer Message Board Entertainment? An' how are ya gonna do that when you can't even trust yer teammate?
Think 'bout all that when yer preparin' fer yer match. In the meantime, when y'all are layin' in bed at night, wonderin' if y'all can trust yer pardner... well, I ain't even gonna say it, cuz y'all know.
MCW Tag Team Tournament. Beast and Benjamin verse the Thrillbillies. It's gonna be a wild ride, but are y'all ready? Can you handle it, cuz it's gonna be a rough ride.
Hoss: YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAWWW!
Fade.