Landon Price - Just Another Day
.: The musk of sweat fills a dank warehouse turned gym somewhere near downtown Montreal. Pads crack like lightning and the swish of jump rope is incessant - truly the soundtrack to success. In a corner of the gym stands a grey-haired, prune-skinned beanpole of a man bobbing and weaving as though he were in super slow motion. They call him bugs around here :.
Bugs: " You boys had better be watchin'! I want crisp 1-2's with the ol' bobble head going. Keep yer head movin' or it's lights out jack! "
.: Two of bugs' disciples sit cross legged on some tattered blue wrestling mats, observing the old man with a hint of amusement. :.
Bugs: " Sumthin' funny? Rome wasn't built in a day fellas'. This takes practice and dedication. I want you boys stickin' and movin' at breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, before your midnight snack, you name it! Especially you Landon... "
.: The two students, Razik and Kris, chuckle aloud. The rome line is always good for a laugh and it seems Bugs has yet to realize that Landon Price is absent from training yet again. :.
Razik: "Umm, boss?"
Bugs: "What is it now? Do you guys ever listen or am I talkin' to a brick wall here?"
Razik:" Sorry boss. It's just that, well, Landon isn't even here today. Last I saw him he was busting a move to dance dance revolution back at the flat. "
Bugs: " What the hell is a dance pants resolution!? Why do I even bother? The kid's got the biggest fight of his life in a week and he's off playing hanky panky or some ****. When I gets a hold of him I's gonna..."
.: The cantankerous old fart shuffles away to his office mumbling obceneties and leaving Razik and Kris rolling about laughing at his endearing personality. A typical morning sparring session at crooked smile MMA :.
.: Enter the flat of Landon Price. Beads of sweat trickle down his brow as he holds a statue-like glare. The view widens. It appears "The Prairie Samurai" has yet to change out of his underpants and bright red housecoat. Before him sits a piping hot bowl of chili - breakfast of champions. Landon's face begins to crack. Suddenly, he leaps out of his seat while launching meaty chilli from his gullet and rapidly waving his hands in front of his mouth:.
Landon: " Damnit Razik! Egyptian hot sauce?! More like egyptian 'scald your throat with molten lava' sauce. Only a damn freak of nature could stomach that crap. "
.: GOOOOOOONG! A resonating sound fills the flat. A black and white kung-fu movie is playing on the flat screen tv before Landon. Price appears excited by the scene. Without hesitation he begins shadowing the movements of the characters on screen, his form surprisingly very sound :.
Landon: " Whooo-aaaaa! Kara-tae chop! Oh yeah, he ducks a roundhouse kick. Wham! Spinning heel trip! The emperor goes wild as "the prairie samurai" saves the day once again! "
.: Landon jumps about the living room of his flat, his hands high above his head as though he were just crowned the new SWIFT MMA lightheavyweight champion. The strumming of a guitar abrubtly interupts the celebration. Johnny Cash's "I Walk The Line" chides on as Landon pushes some comic books and girlie magazines from the living room table. Finally, he discovers his mobile phone - the caller ID flashes "bugz". Landon answers tentatively :.
Landon: "Hey bugs, I..."
Bugs: " Don't you 'hey bugs' me you pimply little slacker! You were suposed to be hitting the mitts an hour ago you ungrateful slack ass! Razik's here, Kris is here, where's Landon? Oh that's right, playin' with his dingleberries while I try and run a respectable camp here! "
.: Landon holds the phone from his ear as Bugs vents for a good two minutes. He takes a deep breath before placing the phone back to his ear :.
Landon: "Bugs, I'm sorry! Truly. It was supposed to be a surprise but I was making a gift for you seeing as it's your birthday soon. I just lost track of time, that's all. I swear..."
Bugs: "Your eyes are brown boy'o an' you know why! Let me ask you a question, do you know what's happening on the 23'rd? "
Landon: " Don't be ridiculous, it's my debut with SWIFT MMA! How could I forget?"
Bugs: " Do I have to remind you who yer fightin'? Joseph Baskin! He ain't no slouch, this guys is certified dangerous Price."
Landon: " Bah! We both know I'm light years ahead of Mr. Baskin Robbins ice cream man extrordianare. When I hit him with a swift roundhouse kick to..."
Bugs: " Kicks! That's why yer supposed to be puttin' in work here. You should be finessing the 1-2 combos, bobbin' and weavin'! This Baskin feller is a Ju-Jitsu ace, if you get fancy with him he'll get you to the ground and snap that spindly little neck of yers! "
Landon: " One, your neck makes mine look like a mountain of god given muscly greatness. Two, ju-jitsu? This fool is from the south. I hardly doubt he knows where Brazil is, let alone master such a fine art as brazilian ju-jitsu. Just relax and have some confidence in the best fighter this side of the 49th parallell. "
Bugs: " 49th para-what? What in the hell are you rambling on ab..."
Landon: "Bugsy, I've got another call. See you tomorrow, bright and early. I promise this time."
.: Landon snaps the phone shut before bugs can chide him further, then tosses the phone into a pile of video games and pizza boxes on the floor. With remote in hand, he jacks up the volume on his kung-fu flick full blast and resumes his intense mimicking scene for scene :.
Landon: " Ju-Jitsu! Ha! Wait till you get some fudo-ken fist upside that waffle cone you call a head. Mmm, waffle cone. I think there's a baskin robbins on 43rd street! "
.: The youngster dashes to the bedroom for a change of clothes and prepares himself for an epic journey. It's off to the ice cream parlor to aquire the secret power food fortold in the land of the rising sun... A triple strawberry waflecone deluxe! Fin :.