fugginVOSS
The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
(FADE-IN: on a make-shift stage set-up at the end of the function room at the Grandover Resort, Greensboro, North Carolina. The banner across the back of the stage is made up of what appears to be characters of various colour from the Space Invaders video-game. On the stage is a table, with a skirt made of silver with a black Space Invader character beside three letters: IGC.)
(CUT-TO: shot of the crowd gathered in front of the stage, made up of local, national and International media. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder, they appear like the proverbial sardines with barely enough room to poke out their microphone and/or camera for snippets. The justle for position, each trying to get closer to the front in spite of someone else.)
(CUT-TO: the door at the back of room being pulled open. Out walks various legal looking people in suits far more expensive than they need to be, faces equipped with serious looks as they storm toward the stage. Amidst the suits walks a man familiar with some, wearing plain blues jeans and a polo which matches the table's skirt. Complete with it's own little Space Invader and letters. He is MORTON MURPHY; wrestling journalist, promoter and entrepreneur. He runs a hand through his neatly cut black hair and pushes his eyeglasses up the bridge of his nose as he steps up the stage, heading for poll position at the table: Front and centre.)
(CUT-TO: a shot of the whole room, taking in the sea of media heads and the full table of persons ahead of them. A man to the left of Morton leans across over him and speaks into one of the many microphones set-up on the table, clearing his throat and getting a little too close, sending a wave of feedback from the microphone and through the speakers, forcing the whole room to wince in unison.)
MAN: (apologetically) "Apologies for the microphone screeching, folks. Without further adieu, I'd like to call this press conference to a start and introduce you to the man you've all gathered here to speak to. I'm sure you've heard the rumours milling around on the Internet and this man is here to put them all to bed.
"To speak on behalf of the Intergalactic Championship Commission, may I please introduce to you all Mr. Morton Murphy."
(Without any applause, the journalists hands rise up quickly, trying to attract Mr. Murphy's attention as he looks over them. He points in someone's general direction, not really caring or worrying to make it clear, he just points. Two journalists turn and look at each other, as if discerning who he intended however someone behind them decides it was probably them.)
JOURNALIST #1: "Mr. Murphy - Bob Burnley from WMYV TV - Can you tell us all what the intention of forming this Intergalaxy Championship is?"
MORTON MURPHY: (clearing his throat) "Excellent question, Bob. And it's Intergalactic Championship actually, just to be clear. I don't want to see any typos in the morning, right?" (pauses for room to laugh) "Bob, to pre-empt your question with another; WHY Intergalactic?
"When I was a kid I grew up watching this great sport. And yeah, back then it was STILL called a sport. I loved it. I dreamt of becoming a World Champion like many of the great wrestlers we see today. But unfortunately, I was blessed with the genes of a wordsmith not a warrior and I took my battles to the notepad when people like Dan Ryan took them to the wrestling ring. But it didn't mean I could stop dreaming about making a difference to professional wrestling.
"When I began my career I often wondered things like, well what if Mike Randalls faced off against Jason Kain or Why can't Mittens T. Cat face off with Max Hopper? And it came to me that no matter how much of a wrestling fan I could be, no matter how much sway I could have within an organisation, there would always be the backstage politics of those promotions stopping something like that from happening. For all I knew, contract negotiations would fall through continuously for one to face the other. Or this promotion wanted to go down in THAT direction and Wrestler X does not meet the criteria for the product they want to put out.
"I get that. Don't get me wrong. That makes perfect sense to me as a business man. I completely, whole-heartedly, 100% GET that.
"But as a wrestling fan... I HATE that. I mean, I'd love to see someone like Spooky Doom and Chris Hopper go head-to-head. I'd LOVE to see that. But the only place it can happen is on a stage like the ULTRATITLE. Coz let's face it, the guys at All-Star Championship Wrestling are probably peddling a product that Spooky doesn't fit into. And I couldn't hazard a guess at what IWF think of Hopper, but maybe they're not willing to pay him what he wants or maybe their schedule doesn't work with his.
"As a wrestling fan I want to see not just the greatest wrestlers in the world compete but the greatest wrestlers in the galaxy. Not wrestlers fighting people because their contracts happen to lay together but intertwined, people... I want to know who the best of them all is. Who IS the best wrestler?"
(He sat back a moment, letting those words sink in to the journalists for a few seconds longer before continuing on.)
MORTON MURPHY: "And that's when it dawned on me, gang. Why WON'T these guys face off? Because there hasn't been a promoter with the balls to do it before. Well.... before me that is.
"The Intergalactic Championship is the platform to give us wrestling fans the opportunity to see those dream matches that don't take place simply for the fact that wrestling promotion politics and BS gets in the way. It gives me the opportunity to give fans a match they want to see and a dream match that mightn't ordinarily happen. That is what this commission came together to do, people.
"To give wrestling fans cards they want to see. To give them a show they want to buy tickets to."
(A journalist off to the right puts his hand up and Morton nods at him.)
JOURNALIST #2: "But Morty, if you wanted to pin the best against the best wouldn't it make more sense to do this after ULTRATITLE has completed?"
MORTON MURPHY: "You're assuming that because people don't make the Sweet Sixteen or the Final Four that people don't want to see them. Those guys at the back end of that tournament may get their chance one day but I'm telling you now... tournaments like that can often be determined by that little underdog that had his moment over the hardened veteran. So don't underestimate the power of that tournament and power of the unknown.
"The Intergalactic Championship is an open championship and does not play privy to your resume or your laundry list of championship belts. Or even your lack thereof.
"This Championship is for the people. It is a legitimate Championship that recognises the best of the best regardless of origin, promotion, contract, WHATEVER.... that is to be recognised as an honourable wrestling product."
(Another journalist chimes in.)
JOURNALIST #3: "When can we expect to see the first champion crowned?"
MORTON MUPRHY: "Our first champion will be crowned at ULTRATITLE. After saying that, the participants of that match will be made clear over the next few weeks. What I can tell you is this... our first IGCC Sanctioned Event will be held here in Greensboro, North Carolina, from the East Wing of the Special Events Centre. Tickets are on pre-sale currently however we do not have a finalised date nor a finalised card. What I CAN tell you is that we will have our first qualifiers for the Intergalactic Championship match figured out by the end of that card in preparation for the ULTRATITLE finale."
JOURNALIST #3: "How many participants?"
MORTON MURPHY: "No comment."
LAWYER MAN FROM EARLIER: "Folks, we have to wrap this up here and now. Our apologies once more however we have a junket we need to get to. Please remember that the Intergalactic Championship is proudly supported by FWrestling.com and for all your wrestling needs head over those good folks there. We're extremely excited and pleased to be bringing you this product and appreciate your involvement in this afternoon's press conference.
"Please make sure that you're keeping tabs on the ULTRATITLE as the results of that competition will clearly have impact on how the Intergalactic Championship unfolds in it's first few months.
"Thanks for your time."
(The man put a hand on Murphy's shoulder and looked across the room at the sound techs, making a cutthroat gesture to ensure they could get on their way.)
(FTB)
(CUT-TO: shot of the crowd gathered in front of the stage, made up of local, national and International media. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder, they appear like the proverbial sardines with barely enough room to poke out their microphone and/or camera for snippets. The justle for position, each trying to get closer to the front in spite of someone else.)
(CUT-TO: the door at the back of room being pulled open. Out walks various legal looking people in suits far more expensive than they need to be, faces equipped with serious looks as they storm toward the stage. Amidst the suits walks a man familiar with some, wearing plain blues jeans and a polo which matches the table's skirt. Complete with it's own little Space Invader and letters. He is MORTON MURPHY; wrestling journalist, promoter and entrepreneur. He runs a hand through his neatly cut black hair and pushes his eyeglasses up the bridge of his nose as he steps up the stage, heading for poll position at the table: Front and centre.)
(CUT-TO: a shot of the whole room, taking in the sea of media heads and the full table of persons ahead of them. A man to the left of Morton leans across over him and speaks into one of the many microphones set-up on the table, clearing his throat and getting a little too close, sending a wave of feedback from the microphone and through the speakers, forcing the whole room to wince in unison.)
MAN: (apologetically) "Apologies for the microphone screeching, folks. Without further adieu, I'd like to call this press conference to a start and introduce you to the man you've all gathered here to speak to. I'm sure you've heard the rumours milling around on the Internet and this man is here to put them all to bed.
"To speak on behalf of the Intergalactic Championship Commission, may I please introduce to you all Mr. Morton Murphy."
(Without any applause, the journalists hands rise up quickly, trying to attract Mr. Murphy's attention as he looks over them. He points in someone's general direction, not really caring or worrying to make it clear, he just points. Two journalists turn and look at each other, as if discerning who he intended however someone behind them decides it was probably them.)
JOURNALIST #1: "Mr. Murphy - Bob Burnley from WMYV TV - Can you tell us all what the intention of forming this Intergalaxy Championship is?"
MORTON MURPHY: (clearing his throat) "Excellent question, Bob. And it's Intergalactic Championship actually, just to be clear. I don't want to see any typos in the morning, right?" (pauses for room to laugh) "Bob, to pre-empt your question with another; WHY Intergalactic?
"When I was a kid I grew up watching this great sport. And yeah, back then it was STILL called a sport. I loved it. I dreamt of becoming a World Champion like many of the great wrestlers we see today. But unfortunately, I was blessed with the genes of a wordsmith not a warrior and I took my battles to the notepad when people like Dan Ryan took them to the wrestling ring. But it didn't mean I could stop dreaming about making a difference to professional wrestling.
"When I began my career I often wondered things like, well what if Mike Randalls faced off against Jason Kain or Why can't Mittens T. Cat face off with Max Hopper? And it came to me that no matter how much of a wrestling fan I could be, no matter how much sway I could have within an organisation, there would always be the backstage politics of those promotions stopping something like that from happening. For all I knew, contract negotiations would fall through continuously for one to face the other. Or this promotion wanted to go down in THAT direction and Wrestler X does not meet the criteria for the product they want to put out.
"I get that. Don't get me wrong. That makes perfect sense to me as a business man. I completely, whole-heartedly, 100% GET that.
"But as a wrestling fan... I HATE that. I mean, I'd love to see someone like Spooky Doom and Chris Hopper go head-to-head. I'd LOVE to see that. But the only place it can happen is on a stage like the ULTRATITLE. Coz let's face it, the guys at All-Star Championship Wrestling are probably peddling a product that Spooky doesn't fit into. And I couldn't hazard a guess at what IWF think of Hopper, but maybe they're not willing to pay him what he wants or maybe their schedule doesn't work with his.
"As a wrestling fan I want to see not just the greatest wrestlers in the world compete but the greatest wrestlers in the galaxy. Not wrestlers fighting people because their contracts happen to lay together but intertwined, people... I want to know who the best of them all is. Who IS the best wrestler?"
(He sat back a moment, letting those words sink in to the journalists for a few seconds longer before continuing on.)
MORTON MURPHY: "And that's when it dawned on me, gang. Why WON'T these guys face off? Because there hasn't been a promoter with the balls to do it before. Well.... before me that is.
"The Intergalactic Championship is the platform to give us wrestling fans the opportunity to see those dream matches that don't take place simply for the fact that wrestling promotion politics and BS gets in the way. It gives me the opportunity to give fans a match they want to see and a dream match that mightn't ordinarily happen. That is what this commission came together to do, people.
"To give wrestling fans cards they want to see. To give them a show they want to buy tickets to."
(A journalist off to the right puts his hand up and Morton nods at him.)
JOURNALIST #2: "But Morty, if you wanted to pin the best against the best wouldn't it make more sense to do this after ULTRATITLE has completed?"
MORTON MURPHY: "You're assuming that because people don't make the Sweet Sixteen or the Final Four that people don't want to see them. Those guys at the back end of that tournament may get their chance one day but I'm telling you now... tournaments like that can often be determined by that little underdog that had his moment over the hardened veteran. So don't underestimate the power of that tournament and power of the unknown.
"The Intergalactic Championship is an open championship and does not play privy to your resume or your laundry list of championship belts. Or even your lack thereof.
"This Championship is for the people. It is a legitimate Championship that recognises the best of the best regardless of origin, promotion, contract, WHATEVER.... that is to be recognised as an honourable wrestling product."
(Another journalist chimes in.)
JOURNALIST #3: "When can we expect to see the first champion crowned?"
MORTON MUPRHY: "Our first champion will be crowned at ULTRATITLE. After saying that, the participants of that match will be made clear over the next few weeks. What I can tell you is this... our first IGCC Sanctioned Event will be held here in Greensboro, North Carolina, from the East Wing of the Special Events Centre. Tickets are on pre-sale currently however we do not have a finalised date nor a finalised card. What I CAN tell you is that we will have our first qualifiers for the Intergalactic Championship match figured out by the end of that card in preparation for the ULTRATITLE finale."
JOURNALIST #3: "How many participants?"
MORTON MURPHY: "No comment."
LAWYER MAN FROM EARLIER: "Folks, we have to wrap this up here and now. Our apologies once more however we have a junket we need to get to. Please remember that the Intergalactic Championship is proudly supported by FWrestling.com and for all your wrestling needs head over those good folks there. We're extremely excited and pleased to be bringing you this product and appreciate your involvement in this afternoon's press conference.
"Please make sure that you're keeping tabs on the ULTRATITLE as the results of that competition will clearly have impact on how the Intergalactic Championship unfolds in it's first few months.
"Thanks for your time."
(The man put a hand on Murphy's shoulder and looked across the room at the sound techs, making a cutthroat gesture to ensure they could get on their way.)
(FTB)