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Press Conferance w/ the "True Face"

Justin Evitable

League Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
Wethersfield, CT
Justin enters the scene, approaches the podium that is marked "Chief of 'Staff' in a room filled with 3 reporters and alot of empty chairs

I am ready to take on any questions....

The room is silent and no questions are asked

Yes, I am pretty angry that I was stripped of the PbPro Titles, but it honestly isn't hard to strip me for anything, including if Hennesy and Monster Energy drinks are involved....and alot of naked women...

Next Question....

...

Yes I know I am appearing on another show, but that point is moot, it is going to be a one time deal and it worked out well for me seeing as the fact that I faced this person once before in a state where he already had his ass whipped the night prior, it just helps me sleep better at night...

...

Right, that and 3 asian prostitutes....

....

No, they aren't from the research and development team, being a 2 time PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion has its perks...

...

Free sake is indeed one of them...

...

Regardless of the rumors, me and Smitty don't have anything going on, no matter what drunken escapades you may have cought on film, our relationship is strictly business and I would not do that to Yori at all, I did after all hand him the MBE Unified Championship at one time....

...

I did it because I felt that I had accomplished enough, and I had enough on my plate due to a false maternity case, I know it was almost 5 years ago, but I think I should finaly release the details of why I did not successfuly defend that title...

...

No, Yori was not giving me relationship advice at the time...

...

I don't have that much time to explain how me and Jesus Hobo first met but Yori has me to thank for him when I paid off that mob of homeless men with Arby's coupons to get me into MBE again, I don't know why it took so damn long but eventualy they found out that hiring me back was a good thing....

...

Yes, the 2006 ENNY for Most Improved Wrestler was indeed a great acceptance speech and no, Yori did not steal my thunder by leading out the band naked....

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I do look forward to MBE coming back onto television, and I will be there for every moment of it as I have been an active part of MBE since its rebirth and have a perfect attendance record so far regardless of any evidence against my health, I am at my best right now and intend to stay that way and hopefuly see an enhanced roster in which to test my abilities with, I will prove I am not a hoax, as reported by Mr. Burke, that son of a *****

...

Yes I do look forward to hearing from Doc Silver soon, I didn't have the opportunity to meet with him when he and Yori met in the new MBE headquarters but I did overhear the Jackson/Liddel wager...

...

No, Yori did not bet on it but I do believe he wagered his left sperm factory, in other words testicle, that Liddel would win the fight in exchange for Doc Silver to come on TV and proclaim himself king of douchebags and that he should take up a better career as a sports commentater since he wastes enough air time reciting crap he heard from a recent ESPN Sportscenter episode...

...

I'll have a meatball grinder, toasted on white, and a 40 ounce of Bud Light, make it a double for ROBOYori and Jesus Hobo, I owe the hobo for that time when I bet him I could get that 17 year old to put out in front of her high school boyfriend....

...

No, in that state it was legal, no further questions...

Justin walks off camera with a Bud Light he stored in the podium, opens it and chugs it on his way out
 

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