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Plague of Windhams


Hex Angel

(FADEIN: Eli, in front of a CSWA banner)

"In the past nine years, Troy... I've been passed over, I've been held down, I've been put out for over a year by you. I've worked my ass off to make a name for myself despite the fact that Merritt never really wanted me to be his champion. I've worked my ass off despite the fact that my biggest accomplishments are stealing the show from the people they really wanted to main event, and being a transitional champion for Deacon. I've been fired for disagreeing with Merritt - and seen the people closest to me used as Merritt's pawns to regain 'control' of the CSWA - but he never really lost control. He and Teri used Poison Ivy as a pawn to publically lambast the three men who staked a claim on the CSWA - despite the fact that my own weaknesses caused the ClaimStakers to self destruct."

"Merritt used us to teach the promotion a lesson - don't cross him. I took it one step further - don't get involved. And there's not a person on this planet who can fault me for it, not even Merritt. My relationship with this promotion is limited to working as hard as I can to earn my paycheck. The fans know that they're gonna get a memorable match from me - that's not a part of it. But they can get that without seeing me take up the banner of the CSWA just for the sake of being something that I'm not."

"We have your brother for that, Troy."

"So come on down and play the referee - your issues with both of us pretty much preclude the possibility that you'd favor one over the other. And I meant what I said - if I win the belt you'll get your shot. Main event match for Eli Flair and Troy Windham... it's a crime that we've never headlined a card against each other before."

"Just don't... ever... think the outcome will ever be in doubt."

"But at least you've got more to say than your brother."

"Respect is something earned, Mark... and something that it's very easy to lose. I respect your brother for being who he is without a shred of irony. I respected you for everything you've gone through and managed to survive - even winning the CSWA World Title at the heart of it all. That takes guts... it takes a lot of determination. And I never denied it. You're so intent on calling me out for claiming you're a showman with a front of apathy that that's what you became. Is that how easy it is to change you, Windham?"

"Mickey played you."

"Merritt played you."

"Your brother played you."

"Hornet played you."

"Every time, you performed exactly the way the person pulling your strings wanted you to. Every time, you danced without missing a step to the tune that your puppet master played. I never wanted to be the latest in a long line of people to control you, Mark... and I'm not going to take the strings, no matter how earnestly you seem to want me to."

"Right now you're hoping I'll go off on how dare you undermine the crap I've waded through and the way Ivy held my mind together long enough for me to recover and Angel has nothing to do with this and bla, bla-bla, bla-bla. Then you can pat yourself on the back for getting inside my head and throwing me off balance and practically assuring yourself of victory in the psychological war game."

"As if your '90% Filler' promo wasn't enough of a sign that you're just the latest in a long line of generic opponent."

"Mystery Man #439, please unmask yourself to reveal Mark Windham, CSWA World Champion."

"You owe yourself more than that. You owe the fans more than that."

"I never cared why you returned, Windham. I just wondered if you still have it in you to go. The same questions came up about me some years ago. Don't blame me if you took it personally - as the CSWA World Champion, you are, by definition, held to a higher standard than the rest of the company. If you can't handle it, you shouldn't be champion. If you can... then take your hands off your ears, stop sticking out your tongue, and be a man."

"In case you haven't noticed, Windham... I am your opponent. Not Ivy, the pair of breasts in a tight skirt who carries a big stick. Not Angel, the slit your wrists because I was abused Goth Rock singer. It's a wrestling ring, not a schoolyard, Windham... if you're really that damn good I'd expect you'd have something besides calling my girl names. It's a sad state of affairs in this business when I'M the mature one in the match."

"At least you accused me of ripping off the best. Mike Randalls. I'm not digging into my tape archives of a couple of days ago to find material. I might have been done before, but not by myself, just last week."

"Are those chinks in the armor? Is the emperor actually butt- ass nekkid behind his 'Hip To Have Attitude' attitude and his T-shirt deal?"

"We took different roads to the same place, Windham. You rode to the top on your reputation as the stiffest guy in the locker room and not being pinned for three years straight. Hey, congrats. Somewhere in there you became the number one wrestler in the world's sidekick. The America's Team member who walks into the door. It's an honest day's wage, can't deny it. My road took a bit longer, had a bit more bumps along the way... but we're in the same place. Of course, the fans were cheering for you because you're that damn good and they were cheering for me out of pity, because they wanted to see what I'd do when drunk after losing two pints of blood. You must run The Onion, Windham... cause if it's on Windham's lips, it's gotta be true."

"There's the difference between you and I, at the very core of things. You're trying so hard to justify yourself to me at the expense of the tale of my own career - at the expense of the legacy I've built for myself. As if to say I earned where I am would be to cheapen your own hard work. I'm not nearly that anal retentive about things. I don't really care how well- earned your legacy is or not, or how my position is viewed by wrestling purists who don't like my Crash Test Dummy impression. I know what I've done and I know how I'll be remembered - and I don't give a good f**k about whether or not you think I've earned it, or if you think it's based on pity or envy or how well I can ape Mike Randalls or When Animals Attack."

"You've gotta stop measuring yourself against me, Windham... The Eliminator was just a stage name, not a gimmick or a way of life. My 'gimmick' has always been the same thing - THIS IS WHO I AM. Never made an apology, never made a justification. Never had to. Apparently you find this threatening."


"Dark and moody never sold, because a Dark and Moody world champion leads to too many things Punk Rock. So go ahead and bring back Captain Excitement, because all it does is prove me right."

"Mark Windham the man could never sell. Mark Windham the actor is what sold."

"So what's it gonna do for Captain Excitement when someone who doesn't care about popping the buyrate, someone who doesn't care about fake- ass gimmicks, someone who doesn't even want to man the Windham puppet strings... walks into Anaheim and becomes World Champion despite the best efforts of a gimmick that suddenly returned because it sold?"

"Can you live with it?"

"Captain Excitement will probably snap his fingers and vow to fight another day. The Lost Soul will probably drink down some cyanide while quoting Morrissey. But you've never answered my initial question."

"Which one is the real Mark Windham?"

"Or did he ever even exist?"


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