Pipes! Locks! Cinches! Week 1

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: Greenie wearing a old school red "Mayo" #51 Patriots Jersey.)

GREENIE: OK, here's the deal, I'm gonna start this season with a totally hypothetical 10,000 dollars...I mean there's no way I'm making these wagers for real...Doc says I'm gonna go broke, and if I don't, I'll still be down 5K by the time it's over...I'll show him...

This week's Pipes! Locks! Cinches! are...

(Home team in CAPS)

165 to win 150 on the Jets +5 over TEXANS

Everyone's on the Texan's bandwagon...Bandwagons are full of one thing...Suckers...Jets cover here!


220 to win 200 BROWNS +4 1/2 over Vikings

This is a sucker line, America's gonna back the fantasy god Purple Jesus and the Gunslinger Brett Favre...I almost would take the money line, but a 4 1/2 point head start is to good to pass up.

265 to win 250 49'ers +6 1/2 over CARDS

Cards were friggin' 9-7 last year before catching fire in the playoffs, they lost the bowl so I expect a letdown, San Fran is solid and could even win on the field.

330 to win 300 PACKERS -4 over Bears

Jay Cutler is grossly overrated...To hell with him, the Bears, everything, Packers cruise.

550 to win 500 PATRIOTS -11 over Bills

Of course I'm backing the home team, with big money, Brady's back, this team is going to be beasts on offense, as long as the defense can hold teams to 20 or less, we should be fine...

Back Tuesday with a recap of my glorious winnings! Vegas is in for a beating!

(FADEOUT)

 

[The Great Eye]

(FADEIN: Green Machine wearing a road 81# Moss Patriots Jersey.)

GREENIE: Well I'm down 70 bucks from last week, one more game goes my way and I'm rolling, stupid Bills giving the Patriots a game, what the hell was that all about?!

(Home team in CAPS)
110 to win 100 Patriots -4 over JETS

I'm still backing the home team, just with much less cash, Sanchez Vs Belichick, I like that match-up.

220 to win 200 BEARS +3 over Steelers

Everyone's jumping on the Steelers, again, everyone's a sucker!

220 to win 200 Panthers + 6 over FALCONS

Panthers aren't that bad, Falcons aren't that good

275 to win 250 LIONS +10 over Vikings

Giving 10 on the road week 2?! Sign me up! Screw Favre and Purple Jesus!

330 to win 300 BILLS - 4 1/2 over Bucs

Bills looked good at New England, should have a good home opener Vs a horrible Bucs team.

550 to win 500 Giants +3 over COWBOYS

Giants should be the favorites, getting 3 points is a crime. It's like stealing!

For the year: -70