Another One Bites the Dust
INT. HOOTERS - 3:57 P.M.
In a booth, sporting a bib, and enjoying some extra tender breasts, we see 'THE PHENOM' SHAWN HART. After wiping some excess foodstuff from his mouth, he miraculously breaks into a monologue.
So this is it, huh? One match under my belt and ALREADY I've got the A-list talent? HAAAAH! If that's the case, all I've got to say to you, the people, Andrew Medina, and everybody else involved with NWL is MERCI, MON AMI!
He takes a swig from his trusty Corona, cracks a grin, and continues on.
Jarod Poe, despite his endless attempts to prove otherwise, is a DAMNED-FINE professional wrestler. He's mixed it up like a salad shaker with the best heads of lettuce our circuit's ever seen. He's got titles, he's got PIZAZZ, bottom line... he's got my respect...
Suddenly, the Phenom's mood seems to sour. He takes another swig from his 'adult soda' then shoots an icy stare toward the camera.
Sorry to say it, but the same can't be said for Dakota Smith... or so I say! Granted I've done my share of sneakin' around all sneaky like and jumping him from behind but never, and I mean NEVER, has the Phenom punked in a pack as we saw with the not-so-distinguished Mr. Smith this past week. See, unlike the sniveling scum he's revealed himself to be, I am a man of honor. Mano a mano, fair and square, these have ALWAYS been my mantras. Hell DAK, I even gave you a week off so you could do your freaky deaky dance with Uncle Mael, and THIS is the thanks I get! Grab your ankles and assume the position while the three of us run a train?! Bah... BAH I say!!
A top-heavy waitress appears at the Phenom's table, collecting some of his dishes. As she leans across the table, you could almost trace the dotted line between his eyes and her tetas. A smile graces his face, and he returns to good humor.
So....... uhhhhhhhhhh........ anyway, this week it's Jarod Poe, a guy I've beaten before, but a guy that AMAZINGLY stands some kind of a chance against my unique brand of jiggy-freshness. He'll bring his A-game, that much I know for sure... here's to hopin' DAK CRACK and his awkwardly Merry Men can keep their noses out of the stew pot for this one so we can ACTUALLY see who the best man really is. Either way, you can bet your bottom dollar that the PHENOM.. will be ready, nnndaddio!!
As another waitress slips by, the Phenom follows the path of her short shorts with his eyes until they disappear off-screen. He licks his lips, then looks back into the camera.
Aaaaaanyhow, that's the steak n' eggs of the situation as far as I can tell. Poe, I'll be waiting... Dak McCrack, I believe we have a date in the not-too-distant future! But for now, I'll have to ask you to excuse me, as I have to go slip this chick the ol' LUCKY SEVEN! The PHENOM... has left... the BUILDING!!