CUTTO: Lars Magellan laying down in a lawnseat on the beach taking in the rays down in Venice Beach
Lars: To say Im not in the most pleasant of moods right now would be an understatement. Is it because of the fact that I lost to the biggest piece of blabbering trash Ive ever seen? No. Is it because I lost the match because of another blithering idiot interrupting my matches night in and night out, that TROLLEP Shammy....not quite. The reason Im so pissed off right now, is because even though I lost to that Mr Kimodo Karla, BECAUSE of the idiot Irishman Shammy... I still know that I am the best damned wrestler in the whole freaking world! Hell, I dont even consider these individual matches in this WLS so-called tournament as wins or losses.... its the overall Shabang! And unfortunately for you MR Maelstrom, you are the next on my list. But I will give you this...if it was any other of these other fools here in the NWL that I was facing, it would be a most unpleasantly boring affair. Looking back at the last Combat.... it was YOU and I... or ME and you I should say who carried that whole damned show. The NWL had a card with a freaking Rumble in the Jungle match, with three fourths of the talent....if thats what you want to call them... in the match, but it was the matches you and I put on that made that show bareable! And Ill go as far as saying it was ONLY you and I that made it bareable....BUT! Its not us facing other opponents now, no, its us facing each other. And thats either really good, or really bad because on the one side... there will be the best the NWL has to offer... LARS MAGELLAN, the BEST DAMNED WRESTLER IN THE WORLD.... and Maelstrom... a pretty good playa....but on the other hand... once our match is done... there wont be anything else to look forward to! But oh well...
Lars gets up and walks away from his lawn chair and heads over to the porch of his beachfront home
Lars: So now that Ive got all the pleasantries between us down, the bottom line is I will have to do whatever is necessary to beat your ass. I mean we have a lot in common... in that before the last Combat show, we were both undefeated till we were cheated by the lowest of low fools in the NWL....and while I dont have crazy obsessed fans writing crazy love letters and bringing them to my matches, Ive had a few stalkers I guess... of course I didnt mind! But now that our next match is upon us, everyone is wondering who will walk out with the next victory on their shoulder... who will be one step closer to being on THE TOP of the NWL... well... I aint Miss Cleo, but my cards are telling me that that is going to be the one, the only, LARS MAGELLAN! HA! Its a great day....and come NWL COMBAT Maelstrom...your good days will be coming to an end. Because after I am done smashing your face in....POST TO POST...from the front to the back... all the way back here to Venice Beach and back... and finally PINNING YOU DOWN for Tha one...two...three... or UNO DOS TRES for Mr Commentator GONZO...you will than realize why I, Lars Magellan, am the BEST DAMNED WRESTLER IN THE WORLD!
(FADE IN:...... on a full screen shot of a pair of eyes glaring at us. They narrow ever so slightly, giving both the appearance predator and as of very recently, prey..... moments later we fade out.....
CUTTO: .... a figure sitting up on the back end of a park bench. His feet are on the seat as he leans forward..... elbows resting on knees..... head lowered slightly, or at least enough to allow his long black hair to fall forward.... effectively masking his identity. He stays like that for a while, talking in low inaudible tones.... seconds later, he slowly raises his head revealing the narrowed glaring eyes of the man we know simply as ........)
MAELSTROM: Congratulations Watcher..... you've done what very few have managed in their careers...... you've wiped away the dust on my loss column!
(gives a slight nod of approval)
MAELSTROM: Enjoy it while you can 'cuz it won't be the last time we meet. Nuff 'bout you though, time to focus on my next prey..... the self professed "Best" wrestler in the world.... Lars Magellan. Ironic though, I remember humbling someone else how claimed the same exact thing..... a fella by the name of Jean Rabesque. Now far be it from me to dispute your claim Lars, but I don't think there can be TWO "best" wrestlers in the world, now can there?
MAELSTROM: At least not in the manner which YOU infer!
(chuckles to himself)
MAELSTROM: Seems to me that if you were the best, you wouldn't be whining about someone ....
(pauses as he does the finger quote thingie)
MAELSTROM: ......"interfering and causing you the win".... (winks) Know what I mean Lars? If ya really BELIEVED you were the best, then why do you feel the need to broadcast it every time you step in front of a camera...... every time a mic is placed in your hand? Must be a bi(BLEEP)ch to have to stroke yourself, not only behind closed locked doors.... (begins laughing) but now coming out of the closet. You've got issues Lars...... issues with yourself that you really should address.
(falls silent as he loses himself in thought)
MAELSTROM: Then again.... WHY BOTHER EH?! Guys like you live life through eyes laced with envy..... saturated with guilt..... infected with lies! Truth, for guys like you, is a distorted concept. You replace it with rationalization then call it a day.
(laughs almost imperceptibly)
MAELSTROM: Problem is, that day never quite comes to an end for you Lars...... it lingers on like a slow death until it's beaten outta ya or you manage to once again redifine the truth when things don't quite go your way. It's indeed a RARITY when they wipe the dust off of my loss column, let alone doing it TWICE in a row. Regardless of what you may claim Lars..... the odds are stacked HEAVILY against you.... and while I know you'll put up your usual front, you can't deny it to yourself!
MAELSTROM: When you can't decipher perception, you're in trouble .....
(glares at us stoically)
MAELSTROM: .... I'm not the one Lars.... I WON'T be the one to cause the dust to be wiped from your WIN column.....
(Maelstrom nods knowingly as the cameras, rather than pull back, begin to zoom in on his face, until it's framing only his eyes..... narrowing slightly, giving the appearance of both preditor and prey..... FADE OUT....)
CUTTO: What seems to be a sportscar sitting on the sidewalk.... but as the camera pans back....you realize its just a small toy sitting on a desk with Lars sitting beside
Lars: Perception really can be a freaking pain. Always making you second guess things, always wondering if you really saw a movement in the shadows... or in your case, SHE-Malestrom, wondering if that hot blond in the... ahh... "Swangin both ways" club is a good lookin female, or what YOUVE been lookin for all along... Meat with a wig! Male-boy, I dont say Im the best because I want to feel good about myself... I say it because its the truth... ITS THE PROVEN TRUTH. I have YET to lose a one on one match with NO interference, with NO BS, and unless you really think you can beat me without pulling some crappy trick, you wont be proving me wrong come this Combat. Because if there is one thing Ive noticed here in the NWL, its that everyone is a bunch of cheating FOOLS! DOPPYs ass with tables... Shammys ass interupting my matches, and Mr Thurmond.. or Strom... Malestrom.. whatever you go by, I dont expect any different from you.
Lars gets up from the table and walks to the side of the room where he jumps on top of the counter and stares hard into the camera
Lars: Envy? Guilt? Lies? Mailman, you must be a freaking Psychic...or Psychiatrist because YOU GOT MY ASS TABBED BOY! And on your first session!? Your amazing. I mean, I am ENVIOUS of you... to get the chance to walk into the ring with THE best damned wrestler the NWL, nevermind the world, has to offer! And at the same time I DO FEEL GUILTY for the fact that your ass is gonna be the one left in a bloodied mess, and Ill probably have to LIE about not enjoying it as much as Im going to! This is our first time in the ring, and I doubt there will be a second after Im done with you, but the difference between YOU and I is that YOUR ass lost FAIR AND SQUARE, and I got cheated after yet another fool runs in trying to rain on my parade and that is why you might not worry about dusting off YOUR win column because its gonna be kinda dormant for ya, at least until our match is over, but go ahead and get ready to fill up yo' Loss thang for at least ONE MORE BANG! Because when the REAL dust is settled in that ring, AND MY HAND IS RAISED AS THE VICTORIOUS FIEND I AM... IT WILL BE THEN, WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT I AM THE BEST DAMNED WRESTLER.... IN THE WORRRRRLD!
(FADE IN: ...... To a listing of FWI's top 250 wrestlers......(http://www.fwimag.com/fwi250.htm ) the name Lars Magellan is superimposed over the #1 spot, then slides down to the #2 spot, then #3 and so on until it reaches the #250..... at which point it dissolves right before our eyes, along with the rest of the screen.......
(CUT BACK TO:..... The sounds of mischievous laughter followed by the echoes of approaching footsteps. Moments later, a huge figure appears in front of our view..... lips curled in a cruel grin and his eyes..... His eyes narrow every so slightly, offering us a glimpse into the complex mind of the man we know simply as......)
MAELSTROM: The proven truth eh Lars? Question is .... WHOSE version of the proven truth are you claiming? Your own, obviously biassed views or the unbiassed views of the wrestling community? (begins chuckling to himself) Seems to me Lars, that the wrestling community doesn't quite agree with YOUR PERCEPTION of self worth. So much for the opinions of the self-deluded. Then again, I shouldn't expect much from someone who feels the need to resort to petty name-calling to get his point across. Which brings yet another question to mind? WHAT EXACTLY IS THE POINT YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE? Has your insecurity reached such levels that you feel the need to pollute the air waves with the same tired old rants of being the best..... EVERY..... SINGLE...... TIME!?
(raises an eyebrow in mock fashion)
MAELSTROM: Here's a simple question for ya Lars..... if you are the best, like you claim to be then how do you account for MY name being in the #1 spot for FWI's top 250? Can you explain why my name was one of just a few nominated for FWI's wrestler of the year..... and NOT yours? Hell, if your main claim for being the best rests solely on the fact that each time you lose, it's because of interference or someone cheating...... then I suppose nearly half the wrestlers in the industry could also be considered the best eh?
(nods his head as he smiles smugly)
MAELSTROM: Your concept of reality, like most, is conveniently manipulated to feed a starving ego. Me? I have no ego to feed. I've been at the top more times than I can remember...... I've reached levels you can only dream of Lars. Everywhere I go, a bullseye appears on my back. NOT simply because I'm despised, though I know that's part of the reason. No Lars, it's because they ALL know that a match against me will put them in the spotlight..... just as a win against me will raise their marketing value! Hell Lars, I even got stalkers now! Guys playing silly cat and mouse games with anonymous letters..... signing them with only two words..... "Yours Truly".
MAELSTROM: Why? Because they know that the spotlight goes where "I" go! So to guys like Mr. "Yours Truly", whoever you are.... guys who are obsessed with me like Dakota..... guys like YOU Lars, who front without shame.....
(his smile widens a bit)
MAELSTROM: ...... I welcome you to face what's been so elusive to you! I not only challenge you but DARE you to face what's missing in your wretched insecure lives! Come down and face the reality that awaits you all..... the Mortal Sin and I are waiting.....
(Maelstrom's eyes narrows and wicked laughter quickly ensues as we begin to ......FADE OUT......)
Cutto: A geeky looking teenage kid sitting at a computer shutting off a picture Janet Jacksons superbowl "clothing malfunction" to a shot of the FWI webpage
Geek: Almost done updating the webpage! You go get em malestrom cuz your the best darn guy man! Yeah! I hope he fully appreciates the favor Im doing for him by making him #1... Ive got my math final due and I have to wake up early to wake up for work at Circuit City tomorrow.. Im a very important man!
Suddenly Lars walks in and pushes the geek outta the chair and sits down looking at the camera
Lars: Im very, very disappointed in your Male-boy. You know, although I do consider you just another NWL low-life with the talent of an elephant standing on one leg, I did kinda place you a little higher than the rest. But now here you are, basking in the glow of having your name on some BS list of wrestlers, collaborated by people who spend half of their time pleasing themselves to picutures of Janet Jackson's left breast, and the other half pleasing themselves to listening to YOUR ranting and blabbering OVER AND OVER again! If that list had any bearing what so ever, than your name wouldnt be on the top, but it would be THE WATCHER... YOU IDIOT! Because he beat your sorry ass, fair and square I might add. But the bottom line is, here in the REAL world Strommy, nobody gives a flying cluck about what some Webpage says about a wrestler, but what that wrestler shows in the ring, and YOU Strom-boy have proved that you....are whack!
Lars walks away from the computer to sit on a bed with posters of hulk hogan and ultimate warrior posted up and Lars shakes his head in disgrace and looks back at the camera
Lars: And the REASON your whack Maleman, is quite simple. I happen to believe that as much as I could care less about the NWL's foolish fans, I do believe our job, as Professional Wrestlers, is 60% to kick ass in the ring, and 40% entertaining the hell at of the foolish fans themselves. #1, youve already proved at the last show that your a loser... ask the Watcher, he'll tell you again... so you got that 60% down to maybe 25%. Than the ENTERTAINING FACTOR! YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST TALKATIVE, BORRRRING, ABNOXIOUS FOOLS IN THE NWL. You ASSUME that just because you talk FOREVER and FOREVER and FOREVER that one person watching your ass HASNT FALLEN ASLEEP! My gosh, I may not sit there and talk for an hour and half but at least Im MEANING something! My Gosh::::
((talking in Malestrom voice))"""I welcome you to face what's been so elusive to you! I not only challenge you but DARE you to SHUT THE HELL UP! My lord Malestrom... do you ever shut up. You sit there and talk about your FWI's, your Dakotas, and your accusations of my insecurities over and over and you claim I have the same ol' tired rants. Oh Please. If there was a list of the most ranting and raving, non stop jibbering trash talking fleas in this business than that would be one list you DO RANK #1. And to not become a hypocrite myself, and hold these people too much longer, I will lay it down on the table for you. You know, and I know who is the best. You got pinned fair and square at the last show, I got cheated, after almost winning! So when this long and boring wait of listening to your ass jibber and jabber on until we finally meet HEAD to HEAD in the ring... it will be then, as Im standing over your limp and sorry soul, that YOU will realize why I, Lars magellan, AM the Best Damned Wrestler IN THE WORLD!!!
(FADE IN:.... to an obscure little coffee shop somewhere unknown to us.... sitting in a nearby booth, drinking a cup of coffee is the man we've come to know simply as.....)
MAELSTROM: Seems like I strike a nerve eh Lars? All I can say Lars is..... PATHETIC! Simply pathetic. If the best you can do to entertain the fans is infantile name-calling and futile attempts at rationalizing your shortcomings, then you're an even bigger loser than I previously thought. You see Lars, you're problem is that you're trying to make this personal so that the focus is shifted OFF of the fact that you've already been proven to be a talentless-fraud. No matter how hard you try Lars, it won't become personal for one simple reason.....
MAELSTROM: Simply put, 'cuz you're insignificant. You claim that you'll keep it short because you don't want to bore the fans but the fact of the matter is that you simply can't interpret an intelligent thought past a paragraph let alone a single sentence. Actually, now that I'm thinking of it, I'm STILL waiting for you to say something that reflects the slightest hint of intelligence on your part. The only thing you've managed to impess anyone one with is your talent for endlessly recycling that dribble you MANURE-facture.
(takes a sip of his coffee)
MAELSTROM: Must suck to claim to be the best and not even be mentioned in the top 250 eh? Or for that matter, be mentioned ANYWHERE other than from your own lips?
(winks in mock fashion as he signals for the check)
MAELSTROM: You seem to be focused on my recent loss Lars. A loss which unlike you, I accept without excuses. You'd think that considering the fact that out of the hundreds of matches I've had, with my losses to date STILL registering only single digits, that I'd be more like.... YOU! Whining and making excuses. Who knows, maybe if I start losing as much as YOU do, I'll start bi$ching and moaning to cover up my inadequacies.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: You need to grow up Lars. You wanna refer to me as a loser and yourself as the best? (shrugs shoulders) Go right ahead. I've just got one question for you Lars. What will that make YOU if you lose to a LOSER like me? Eh Lars? I'm curious to see what F(BLEEP)KING excuse you're gonna come up with when that happens. So go on Lars, have your fun doing what comes natural to you.... acting the fool! Just remember, you won't be able to front once we're in the ring.....
(Maelstrom takes another sip of his coffee as an unidentified man wearing an apron passes by and places the check down on Maelstrom's table before quickly disappearing. After a minute, Maelstrom reaches for the check and his eyes widen slightly, his brow furrows in restrained annoyance as he suddenly yells out to the manager of the coffee shop....)
MAELSTROM: HEY! Yeah YOU! COME OVER HERE!
(Immediately a short, fat blonde lady appears at Maelstrom's table)
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: Yeah mista? Is there a problem?
MAELSTROM: Nothing I can't handle. Where's the waiter that left this check?
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: Waiter?
MAELSTROM: Did I stutter? YES! THE WAITER!
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: Look mista, I don't want any problems okay?
MAELSTROM: Just get that waiter out here and there won't be any.
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: That's what I'm trying to tell you mista. We don't have any waiters workin' here. Fact is, it's just me an' ma two daughters.... no one else.
(Maelstrom glares at her momentarily, then suddenly reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, making the manager nervously step backwards. Maelstrom pulls a ten dollar bill out of his wallet, glances at the check one final time, before tossing them both on the table and leaving. The manager tosses him a defiant, annoyed look as he leaves then looks at the check herself and says....)
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: Wha' da hell is dis?
(lifts the check and reads it out loud)
COFFEE SHOP MANAGER: "Questions are free.... answers cost.... YOURS TRULY"??
Cutto: Lars sitting back on a barstool in an emptied night club as you see workers mopping up the floors
Lars: I must say after watching your last heatened exchange Maleboy, that I really wonder if it is really I whose nerves have been struck! Such foul language for such a, quote unquote, intelligent man is quite frankley very disgraceful. And how you can claim that I am the talentless fraud when it was I, and Im sorry to repeat this but your brain is so closed that it must be broughten up, it was I that was beaten AFTER the involvement of someone not in the match, and it was you who got beat flat out, no questions asked, and it is people who lose like that who are proven to be the REAL losers in this here wrestling world. And as I said last time, why oh why would I, the BEST damned wrestler in the world, be hurt because my name is not on a TOP ANYTHING list when it has as much credibility as that of the 2000 Presidential Election! When it comes down to it, you can be on as many lists as you want, but once we step in the ring... one-on-one, all of that wont matter. Because as Im beating you down to the very brink of the end of your sorry life, all that will matter to you is how you will be walking out of that ring with all of your limbs in place. The match is on the horizon and I guess when its all said and done, and you finally realize who your maker is, maybe then you will finally realize that it IS I Lars Magellan, who is the best damned wrestler in the world!
(FADE IN..... a classroom setting where we see a figure with his back to us. He's wearing a graduates black cap and gown and is writing on the blackboard. Whether he is oblivious to our presence or whether he simply chooses to ignore us will never be known. He stops momentarily to erase part of the board, then resumes writing. After he finishes, he steps back a few steps and admires his work with a nod of his head. On one side we see a graph with the names Maelstrom and Lars Magellan written in vertical fashion on the left, and above the graph are the following columns: Redundancy, Ignorance, Rationalizations, Contradictions and Pettiness. Above the blackboard is a huge clock with the words "countdown to an ass-kicking" printed on the face. The hands are currently pointing at 11 o'clock. Apparently satisfied with his work, the figure turns around and the camera begins slowly panning from the ground up, revealing construction boots, loose-fitting jeans with the black gown wide open displaying chiseled stomach muscles and a barrel-chest before it finally moves up to reveal the cynical smile on the face of the man known simply as......)
MAELSTROM: Ah, welcome to my "edible-words" seminar, where we tear down an opponents facade, proving once and for all that he's full of S(BLEEP)T, and then prepare his appetite for the empty, hollow promises he's about to eat.
(claps his hands loudly together and immediately a large cloud of chalk dust erupts in front of him. He steps back, squinting his eyes as he does so and waits for the dust to evaporate. When it does, he smiles and tosses the tassel hanging limply from the graduate caps side over to the opposite side and resumes speaking.....)
MAELSTROM: Today we'll be addressing a recent rant from one Lars Magellan, and before ya ask..... NO! There's no relation to the explorer Ferdinand. That Ferdinand guy was and IS a legend while this Lars character...... well, he's a legend ONLY in his own mind, if ya know what I mean.
(gives the A-OK sign as he gives a mock wink then reaches over and picks up a pointer)
MAELSTROM: Okay, so for now, I don't need to go into specifics of Lars latest rant because to be perfectly honest, it's really not much different from his previous mic spots. Which brings us to comparison point number one on the checklist.
(directs the pointer at the column titled Redundancy)
MAELSTROM: We have just established that Lars has "consistently" spoken in a redundant manner throughout each and every one of his mic spots soooooooo......
(walks over and places a check mark underneath the "Redundancy column" by Lars name)
MAELSTROM: While forcing ourselves to listen to this highly-opinionated jibberish, we saw that Lars has YET AGAIN contradicted himself.
(walks toward the other side of the blackboard and pulls down the slide-show screen. He then motions to someone offstage and immediately the slide-show screen comes alive with footage of Lars Magellan mentioning that Maelstrom was "a pretty good playa" and one of only two men in the NWL who made the cards bareable. Seconds later we see footage of another mic spot where Lars is claiming Maelstrom is a loser who bores the fans. Maelstrom comically raises an eyebrow and feigns a look of shock as he points to Lars image on the screen with his pointer.....)
MAELSTROM: As we can plainly see here, Lars clearly has ambivilant feelings regarding yours truly. (Suddenly pauses) Did I say "Yours Truly"? Hmmm, well Mr. Yours Truly, if you're out there watching as well, you'd best pay attention 'cuz sooner or later you're gonna have to reveal yourself and when you do, you're TRULY gonna regret it! Anyhow, back to you Lars..... what's the matter, can't make up yer mind one way or the other? Or is it simply that you're too inept at forming interesting, intelligent dialogue? Well, that undoubtedly brings us to comparison point number two on the checklist. Contradictions! Unwittingly, ya just proved my point of just how clueless ya really are! Needless to say, that merits yet another check mark for ya Lars? IT DOESN'T END THERE!! NO!! NOT BY A LONG SHOT! 'Cuz Lars, for lack of anythin' intelligent to say has now resorted to the skillful art of pre-school name mocking!!
(slaps the pointer down against the words on the screen which read.....)
MAELSTROM: Male Boy, Strommy, Mailman, She-Malestrom?! C'mon on now Lars. Ya done gone and shattered my image of ya! Just when I thought ya couldn't be any more pettier, ya do a thing like this! Ya know what that means now dontcha?
(grins mischievously as he checks off the Pettiness column next to Lars name)
MAELSTROM: Hmmm..... Looks like ya might have a clean sweep here Lars. Anyhows, moving right along, we go next to the Ignorance column. Now Lars, why ya felt the need to put YOUR biassed views over that of the entire wrestling industry simply because they did not include you or even mention you not even once, is really beyond the confines of true ignorance!
(walks over and places a check mark in the ignorance column next to Lars name)
MAELSTROM: Which coincidentally brings us to our final category Lars. RATIONALIZATION!
(walks over to the slide-show screen and pulls it down slightly then releases it. It snaps back up loudly with finality. He then turns, faces us again, raises a finger to his lips and does a sssshhhhing sound as he looks right, then left before resuming in whispering tones......)
MAELSTROM: (whispering) now we all know that between you and me, yer the ONLY one who has made excuses, who has tried to downplay, who has..... (BEGINS YELLING) TRIED TO RATIONALIZE HIS LOSSES!!!
(falls silent and gives a sheepish grin)
MAELSTROM: So of course ya know what that means now dontcha Lars?
(walks over and checks off the final column by Lars name and stands back to study the graph. With a smile on his face, he resumes speaking.....)
MAELSTROM: So in conclusion, it would seem that the traits we’ve just proven you have, (glances at the graph) add validity to the fact that it’s YOU who’s living the LIE in yer own custom-made fantasy world.... but it’s cool, there’s still hope for you yet, ‘cuz when we meet, I’m gonna school ya in the painful art of ..... REALITY!
(without saying another word, Maelstrom takes the graduates cap off his head and flings it directly at the camera. Maelstrom’s image is momentarily obscured from our view as the cap strikes the camera’s lens. That only lasts for a split-second, but when we get the image back, Maelstrom is gone and we find ourselves staring at the clock above the blackboard which sorta glares back at us, with its face defiantly displaying it's count-down to an asskicking message as the hands move omininously closer to the twelfth hour.... FADE OUT......)
Cutto: Lars laying back in a chair snoring away as a TV screen shows static and he jumps awake and looks at the camera
Lars: Oh hey.. Im sorry, did you guys fall asleep too? Yeah, I know, I havent heard anybody talk so much since a college lecture either. I must really apoligize in advance because I wont be able to comment too much on what Maleman said, since I fell asleep about a few words in, but I will try my best. I fell asleep a few seconds after the so called "intellectual" and "intelligent" MS started spouting off unpleasantries again, and using quite foul language. Listen, I do not want to wash your mouth out with soap buddy, there might be kids in the audience and they really dont need to hear your overly swearful and rude blabberings. So lets please cut that out now.
Lars gets off the chair and pulls a cold brew outta the fridge
Lars: Now while i didnt get a chance to view your on-going rambling, Ill take some lucky guesses at what they were since you dont say anything different anyhow. Im guessing you probably mentioned how Im not on some Best of list....a list that, like I've already said, has NO bearing on the real world, means nothing beyond its owners personal feelings, and ABSOLUTLEY NO CREDIBILITY WHATSOEVER? So unlike you Mr Mailman, instead of coming back TIME AFTER TIME, Im not gonna reply to that, I am the Best, and theres no other way to look at it, and you will find that out shortly......
Lets see what else...Ya probably brought up my insults of yourself? Because after seeing how unnerved you get every time I make fun of you, I can only imagine you try to throw people off from the fact that I am in fact, "hurting your feelings" by trying to make me feel...ahh... immature or unintelligent? Ahh right. You call me immature... come on pal....
clears his throat and begins to sing
Lars:When your walking down the road, and you feel a heavy load, DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA! When your banging like a drum.. and your stomachs whack as Malestrom.... DIARRHEA...DIARRHEA! Me? Immature!? Come on pal, where the hell would you get that! But one of the few and big mistakes you are making is that you assume, maturity equals victory. Buddy, you can question my intelligence all you want, but head to head you wouldnt stand a chance with me if this match was based on wit. But luckily.... actually UNLUCKILY for you, its not just wit, but brawn, and I have you BEAT BY BOTH! So you go on ahead, walk into this match talking for two hours at a time, and maybe one of these days Ill stay up and actually see if you ever FINALLY come up with something interesting to say... so Maleboy... continue boring the hell outta everybody, and Ill continue to be the Best Damned Wrestler in the WORRRLD!
(FADE IN:..... to Maelstrom as he steps out of the NWL Headquarters. No sooner than he makes his way down the stairs, does the NWL camera crew approach him, to which Maelstrom gives an annoyed look and begins to wave them off.....)
MAELSTROM: BACK OFF! BACK OFF I TELL YOU!
CAMERA CREW: But Maelstrom. Your scheduled for a mic spot in order to respond to Lars----
MAELSTROM: To respond to what!? More repetitive boring recycled jibberish? Please. I won't waste my time anymore with that fool and his stupid games. Waiting for him to say something intelligent could be an endless wait so I'll settle for responding to him when he rants about something DIFFERENT from those reruns he's been doing.
CAMERA CREW: But Maelstrom, YOU scheduled us for this mic spot!
MAELSTROM: That's right, and now I'm telling you that I'm cancelling it because I don't see the point in responding to the same old tired insecure bullsh!t yet again. Now, you have a choice, you can either leave of your own free will.... OR by MINE!
(the camera crew immediately begin to back away as Maelstrom tosses them a menacing glare. Moments later he turns and begins to walk away, after only a few moments, he begins to hear his name being called out....)
MESSENGER: MAELSTROM! MR. MAELSTROM! PLEASE WAIT! I have an urgent letter for you!
(Maelstrom stops in his tracks, turns around and glares at the messenger running out of the NWL office building, rushing up to meet him)
MESSENGER: (out of breath) Tha--- Thank You for wai--- for waiting Mr. Maelstrom. This just came in for you a few minutes ago. It's marked URGENT so I figured I'd best get it to you as soon as possible.
(Maelstrom continues to glare at the messenger as he takes the letter from him. He opens it up, reads it, then crumples it up and tosses it aside as he grabs the messenger by the front of his shirt and angrily lifts him off the ground with one arm)
MAELSTROM: WHO THE F(BLEEP)K GAVE YOU THAT LETTER!?
MESSENGER: DON'T HURT ME PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! IT WAS SOME GUY I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!! SAID IT WAS URGENT YOU RECEIVE THIS DURING YOUR MIC SPOT!
MAELSTROM: WHERE IS HE!?
MESSENGER: HE LEFT IN A CAB NO MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AGO! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! PLEEEEASE!!
(Maelstrom studies the messenger momentarily before tossing him roughly to the ground. He then looks around to see if he can spot the cab, but apparently doesn't as he mumbles inaudibly, turns and walks away. Moments later, a yellow cab creeps up and stops. The man inside motions to the messenger who comes over to the cab. They speak briefly and then the man in the cab hands the messenger a wad of bills. The messenger thanks him repeatedly as he counts the money and rushes off just as the cab too pulls away, heading in the same direction that Maelstrom did. The camera then begins to fade out but suddenly stops as it spots the letter on the ground. It immediately zooms in on it, revealing it's contents..... "People are played, just as easily as games..... YOURS TRULY"...... FADE OUT....)
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