The man now known as.... EL JEFE
(FADE IN:..... to a black screen..... seconds later we hear the bell-tone sounds of an elevator as its doors open in unison with our screen...... from the center of our screen opening towards both the left and right until we are left viewing an office setting. The image bounces slightly as the cameras proceed forth out of the elevator and into the office. It scans around but finds no one, the office is completely empty. The camera's view bounces a bit as it turns back towards the elevator bank and heads for it but suddenly stops as it hears a sound and suddenly swings around. The office furnishings whirl before our eyes..... too fast to really make out any items in particular.... until it settles upon the source of the sound and we find ourselves staring at a door with a gold name plate which reads.... "NWL President - Andrew Medina". The door is slightly ajar and it's at that point that we hear a voice yell from within......)
VOICE: GET YER A$$ IN HERE ALREADY! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!
(at that point the images shakes slightly as the cameraman pushes the door open and steps into President Medina's office. As we step into the lavish office we see someone sitting in President Medina's leather chair, but the chair's high back which is to us does little to offer us even the slightest glimpse of his identity)
CAMERAMAN: Um... Mr. Medina? You called for us, said to get here ASAP and to come in filming?
(the man behind the high back chair doesn't respond.... he just continues to stare out the window, admiring the panoramic view)
CAMERAMAN: Mr. Medina?
VOICE: Son, when you address the #1 man of this company, you'd best learn to do so in a more accurate manner......
(the high back chair swivels around, revealing the man known simply as.....)
MAELSTROM: ..... for now, Maelstrom will do just fine!
CAMERAMAN: Um... uh..... I don't understand? I got a message from the office stating that the boss wanted to see right away?
MAELSTROM: That's right son.... now is there any reason to believe that you are in the wrong place? Speaking to the wrong man?
(Maelstrom's glare intensifies as if to emphasize his insinuations)
CAMERAMAN: Um.... absolutely not Mr. Mael----
MAELSTROM: I just told you Maelstrom will do for now.
CAMERAMAN: Oh! Um yessir Mr.... Um I mean... Maelstrom.
(an uncomfortable pause ensues as Maelstrom continues to glare at the camera..... or perhaps the cameraman himself.... seconds later, a smile emerges on his lips just as he resumes speaking)
MAELSTROM: Actually, on second thought.... you can address me, simply as..... EL JEFE! Understand?
CAMERAMAN: Absolutely, um... El JEFE.
MAELSTROM: Okay, now my first order of business is to announce who I'll be facing in the NWL's first PPV!
CAMERAMAN: Um, Mr. Ma--- I mean... JEFE---
MAELSTROM: That's... "EL" JEFE!
CAMERMAN: Forgive me... EL JEFE, that was already announced not long ago by Pres. Med----
(Maelstrom raises an eyebrow as he glares at him)
CAMERAMAN: I mean... it was already announced a while ago.
MAELSTROM: Well, I'm making it .... OFFICIAL!
(Maelstrom takes a pen and begins writing on NWL letterhead)
MAELSTROM: It's SIGNED and NOW, officially sanctioned! I will be facing "Yours Truly".... Adam Benjamin. Which brings me to the real news, as some of you may or may not know, Mr. Medina has suddenly taken ill and as a result, I'll be stepping in and assuming control of things while he's ....... (grins) .... licking his wounds. Now, my first order of business is to straighten out a few things here in the NWL. First and foremost, I want to address Lars Magellan. Lars, your behavior as of late has been inexcusable..... it's the sort of behavior that gives people the impression that the NWL is ..... (smiles) .... outta control. So, I've taken the liberty of perusing your contract.....
(pauses as he opens up the desk drawer and pulls out what appears to be an NWL contract and studies it)
MAELSTROM: ..... yeah... everything seems to be in order.... everything except for one small detail.....
(Maelstrom suddenly tears the contract in half and tosses it up in the air)
MAELSTROM: YEP! That's right Lars..... YER A$$ HAS JUST BEEN CANNED BY YOURS TRULY? Sorry Benji, but you DON'T have a lock on that term. (chuckles to himself) Lars, I terminated yer A$$ in the ring.... and now, I'm terminating yer A$$ from the NWL. So pack yer bra and panties and get to steppin'!
CAMERAMAN: Um... Mr. Mael---
(Maelstrom tosses the cameraman a glare)
CAMERAMAN: I mean, EL JEFE.... you can't d----
(Maelstrom's glare intensifies)
CAMERAMAN: Um... I mean... uh.... I guess we won't be seeing Lars Magellan around for a while.
MAELSTROM: No doubt. Okay, now the following people, I'll be putting on probation.... which translates into... I'LL BE WATCHING YER A$$ES AND IF I FEEL YER STEPPIN' OUTTA LINE.... YOU'LL BE DEALING WITH ME..... PERSONALLY! That little runt of a nephew of mine... Dakota Smith. Dakota, I want you to submit to a drug and urine test to rule out steroid use! Yer behavior as of late leads me to suspect you've been using..... AGAIN! Now, being the forgiving guy that I am, if the tests come up positive.... yet again, (smirks) I'll give you ONE more chance to clean up by agreeing to seeing a psychiatrist of MY choosing 5 days a week. And don't worry, the NWL WILL pick up the tab! (chuckles) Adam Benjamin, I've decided to forgive you for that little soda toss because, well, being British an' all..... well, I figure that's punishment enough!
(begins laughing mischieviously)
MAELSTROM: HACKER! Yer also on probation for one simple reason. Any man who can't protect his woman is .... NOT A REAL MAN! In fact, You have exactly until ONE MINUTE after I capture the NWL World title to recover her or I'll be forced to pull you off the active roster.... afterall, the roster is for MEN... not men-wannabees! Don't fret none, I'll find you some work as someone's valet or maybe even, someone's .... BIOTCH!
(pauses as he pours himself a drink of water)
MAELSTROM: Nick Savage! It's a good thing Medina tossed yer no-talent A$$ outta here.... saves me the trouble of doing so myself! WATCHER!! You best settle your lil' soap-opera problems on YER OWN time, otherwise I'll pull the spotlight off of ya and demote ya to dark matches. In fact, if I see just one more "goodfella" hanging 'round, I'm gonna hit you so hard on the top of yer head that yer ankles are gonna break! Understand?!
(Maelstrom gives a maniacal, somewhat comical expression before continuing.....)
MAELSTROM: PULSAR! Son, ya broke my heart! Here I was thinking ya had potential.... thinking that ya had what it takes.... then ya done gone an' shattered my expectations of ya by losing to The American in the manner ya did. Ya shoulda seen that coming son!
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: Clearly, ya need some more schooling.... an' if ya don't get yer act together soon.... I'll take ya to school MYSELF! And finally, Shawn Hart. Now son, I KNOW that life can be confusing at times, but you have got to control those "feminine" tendencies of yours! Hell man, if you're really that confused, just go to the bathroom and look at what you got between yer legs!
(pauses as he feigns stopping to think)
MAELSTROM: Well, actually, that may only confuse you even more! Hell, just STAY IN THE CLOSET while we're on the air okay? So you guys.... ALL YOU GUYS I JUST MENTIONED! You've been forewarned. I'm watching you.... ALL OF YOU! So tread lightly or you'll be receiving a pink slip from ..... EL JEFE!!
(winks into the camera as he offers a broad, animated smirk)
CAMERAMAN: Uhhh, EL Hey Faye....
MAELSTROM: That's "EL JE-FE". Say it with me...ELLLL JEEEE---- FEEEE.
CAMERAMAN: Excuse me.. EL JE-FE.... what about the guy who kidnapped Data? I'm a bit curious why you didn't mention him considering what he did.
MAELSTROM: Hmmmm.... actually, yer right. DOP! You should know better than to "enterprise" within the NWL without offering a "tribute" to .... EL JEFE! So, YOU have until the end of the week to make things right. I don't want money mind ya.... I have plenty of that, particularly since I've decided to cut everyone's salary by 20 percent. Sooooo, what can we come up with that wouldn't cost you a dime? What would be a fitting tribute to me, a man with whose insatiable appetite for pain is only matched by his desire for..... pleasure? Know what I mean?
(Maelstrom winks as he offers a lecherous laugh)
CAMERAMAN:El Jefe, don't you want to at least mention your upcoming match against Karl Brown?
MAELSTROM: Not really, I don't really see the point. The man THINKS he knows what's going on in my mind.... just like every other PIZZLE before him! He's talking this trash about the Dragon's Bite as if he'll be in control of the match..... No....I don't have anything to say regarding that match.... well, hold on.... actually, I do have a thing or two I want to say to you KB.
(motions for the camera to come closer)
MAELSTROM: KB..... lets get one thing straight... right here.... right now........ YOU will NOT be dictating the pace ..... YOU will NOT be controlling the flow..... but more importantly, YOU will NOT determine the outcome of our match! There is ONLY one person capable of handling all that.... and that's why they call him.... EL JEFE! But please, by all means, continue to amuse us all with yer lil' facades of confidence and serenity, I mean, I can't fault you for acting like that, you can't help acting ....."British"!
MAELSTROM: Alright one last order of business. On yer way out, I want you to call a tow truck and tow Mr. Medina's car outta MY parking space.
CAMERAMAN: Uh, I think maintenance would be better suited to---
MAELSTROM: I'm not paying you to think. I'm paying you to do what I say!
CAMERAMAN: Um, actually, you're not paying me at all. My checks are signed by Mr. Medina.
MAELSTROM:I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.
MAELSTROM: Because I'm firing you as well.
CAMERAMAN: You can't fire me! I'm in the Union!
MAELSTROM: Oh, I didn't know that. Well that doesn't leave me much choice now does it?
(you can almost sense the cameraman smiling as we see the camera's image move from side to side as he nods a negative response with the camera)
MAELSTROM: Hmmm.... then I'll just fire the union as well! NOW GET THE HELL OUTTA MY OFFICE BEFORE I DECIDE TO GIVE MEDINA A HOSPITAL ROOMMATE!
(A loud crash is suddenly heard as Maelstrom slams a fist down on the heavy oak desk and glares menacingly at the cameraman. The cameraman backs away cautiously, as quickly as he can, fading us out on the man now known to us as..... EL JEFE ..... FADE OUT....)