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NWL Combat: Cameron Love vs. John Doe

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John Doe

The Anorexic Ethiopian
Feb 2, 2004
Chicago, IL
Tape Talk

[Fade is as John Doe is seen spinning in a chair. Doe looks at the ceiling laughing as he spins being amused by the chair a tennis ball bounces off Johns head as he stops spinning.]

Stone: Would you pay attention John! Your like a little kid, you have to watch this and learn what Love is going to do in your match.

Doe: Come on Lane! It’s a match I can’t watch film all day, I’m bored. Can we like go outside or something it’s to stuffy in here! I want to practice. I want to train do something other than watch tape all day!

Stone: No John! You have to watch and learn, you have to prepare yourself, this guy is good and will pull off anything, if you watch then you know what to watch out for when you wrestle him! If you watch maybe you won’t be so bored, he’s quite entertaining actually.

Doe: Ha, are you kidding me he’s sloppy look at him, he can’t do anything right. Look damn it he’s getting reversed like a car in a parking lot. Man that was a good analogy right?

Stone: Do you take anything seriously? Yes that was a very good analogy I would of never thought of that John.

Doe: Stop your stupid sarcastic tone with me. I don’t have to watch him to know what he is going to do in the ring, he isn’t that good, Right? So what am I looking for?

Stone: your looking to see what you can counter in the ring when you face him smart-ass. Watch, look as he sets up his moves. See that, that is a beautiful German Suplex, learn and watch. Maybe you can pick up some stuff.

Doe: Are you kidding me? Pick up stuff from this bum, I learned more in the ring with Jarod Poe than I am learning watching this loser wrestle.

Stone: Yes and you also lost to Jarod Poe John. So what did you learn? How to lose? Maybe if you paid attention, key words there John, paid attention, maybe if you did in the ring you would be the T.V. Champion. If you would focus on other people you would win, you wasted all your time on Ryan Cruz other than Poe.

Doe: Hey that wasn’t my fault!

Stone: whose fault is it then?

Doe: Cruz’s. if he didn’t attack me first then I would have won, but no he had to get me mad so I beat him up. Plus Poe and his buddy Jobber double-teamed us. So ha!

Stone: Yeah, yeah, look do you want to beat Love or not?

Doe: Yes I want to beat Love dork. Look I am watching, ok so he can do a couple good moves. I can counter all of them; I will be on my toes at Combat.

Stone: You better be on your toes he’s quick. He isn’t going to stand there and wait for you to come at him John. Just be ready.

Doe: I am ready Lane. Look at him he’s sloppy ok, I am less sloppy than he is.

Stone: But your still sloppy.

Doe: It all comes with experience Lane. Ok, I am ready let’s go train now!

Stone: Fine! Damn you are a nagger John, ok, let’s go. What are you doing now you want to stay, I said let’s go!

Doe: Man look at him, he’s good Lane! Look at him he has really good moves!

Stone: Now you’re watching the match huh? It’s nothing you can’t handle. He’s sloppy.

Doe: told you he’s sloppy! I can beat him with ease.

Stone: Yeah, yeah. Just watch you will pin this bum 1….2….3. Probably knock him out

Doe: Ha, I know, well he just doesn’t know Lane. “I Am Not Just Anyone…..I Am John Doe!”



League Member
Apr 8, 2004
All In Your Mind

(( We open up on sunny San Diego, California. Specifically, we are in the yard behind the house owned by the NWL's own Cameron Love. Cameron is relaxing in a lounge chair by the pool, wearing purple and black swimming trunks with a white heart near the waistband (coming soon to the NWL Shopzone) and his ever-present pink heart-shaped sunglasses. An uber-tanned, buxom, blue-bikini-clad blond stands next to him, holding a tray with a strawberry margarita on it and shading her eyes from the sun. ))

CAMERON LOVE: I've been watching all the tapes, and I will say this, John Doe...you definitely have the high opinion of at least TWO people in the world. Of course, I'm not sure that you and Stone there count as impartial voters. After all, Stone's paycheck is riding on how good you are, and of course, so is yours. So no, I don't think that the opinions expressed in our latest glimpse into your world are at all based on the cold...HARD...reality of the subject. And for those straight facts, we need to go to people that are impartial, and so we must look to the experts on the subject. No, not the wrestling fans. I'm talking about people that would have a valuable insight into this man known as John Doe. Of course, we don't have time to track down these certain people right here in this interview time. After all, time is money, and the National Wrestling League is not paying me to waste money. So, I took the liberty of searching out the right kind of people to help me understand John Doe.

(( Cameron reaches out a hand. The blond picks up several sheaves of paper off the drinks tray and hands them to Love, who takes off his sunglasses so that he might better see the paper. ))

LOVE: I talked to a Dr. Melissa O'Dea, who is a liscenced psychiatrist here in San Diego. I showed her various interviews with John Doe, as well as footage from his matches, and she told me, and I quote: "That guy is frickin' nuts!"

(( Love lowers the sheet of paper, stares at the camera, and shakes his head sadly. ))

LOVE: I know, it sounds bad, doesn't it? But, just in case I was misunderstanding Dr. O'Dea when she said, ah...

(( Love studies the sheaf of paper carefull. ))

LOVE: Oh yes. "Frickin' nuts." In case I misunderstood what the lovely Dr. O'Dea meant, I asked her to clarify. Did "frickin' nuts" mean that John Doe was an extraordinary, amazing, or otherwise better-than-average wrestler and/or athlete? Do you know what she said?

(( Love studies the paper again. )

LOVE: She said, and I quote, that "John Doe seems to be an extremely unbalanced individual with delusions of granduer and the mental development and attention span of a seven-year-old boy. So no, I do not feel that he is going to be an accomplished fighter. It is quite possible that all of the 'training' that he has put himself through may have been magnified or even created by his own imagination." At this point, I had to stop and ask: "So, all of this bravado and confidence stems from a lack of grounding in reality?" And Dr. O'Dea assured me that, "Yes, this man is just frickin' nuts."

(( Love drops the papers into lap. ))

LOVE: So you see, John, you really can't be trusted. You're seeing stuff that's not there. Your skill is as real as the Easter Bunny. Your greatness? It's like Santa Claus. Eventually, you're going to have to wake up and realize that its not real. And I'm just the person to give you that wake-up call. But you don't have to take my word for it. I am, after all, interested in the cold, impartial facts. So let's ask San Diego's own Bunni Danvers!

(( Love turns to the blond, who has perked up considerably at the mention of her name. ))

LOVE: Bunni, my dear, of all the men that you have met, who has had the most lasting endurance?

(( Bunni giggles. ))

BUNNI: That would be you, Cam.

LOVE: Okay, well then...in terms of power...which man, out of ALL the men that you've ever encountered, has had the ability to go the strongest for the longest?

BUNNI: You again, Cam.

LOVE: Okay then, which man, out of ALL the men that you've ever come across, would you say is the most perfect physical specimen?

(( Bunni pretends to think about it for a second. ))

BUNNI: Hands down, it's definitely you, Cam.

LOVE: Thank you, Bunni.

(( Love turns back to the camera. ))

LOVE: So, John, as you can see, when we consult some unbiased experts on the subjects, we can clearly see that I am the superior athlete. I mean, I've got an incredible body, I've strength, I've got staying power. And you? All you've got, John, is just a few make-believe qualities that don't exist in the real world. It's time for you to grow up, kid. At Combat, I'm going to show you just how far you'll have to go to be even one quarter of the man that I am.

(( Fade To Black ))

John Doe

The Anorexic Ethiopian
Feb 2, 2004
Chicago, IL
Are You Kidding Me?

[Fade into an office as John Doe walks in trying to suck air, sweat drips down his forehead as he takes a seat in a recliner across from Stone. Doe inhales then exhales as he hands Stone a tape]

Stone: Have a nice run?

Doe: You’re a bastard did you know that? I can’t believe you made me runt hat crap and then go back and get the recording of this bum.

[Stone pushes the VHS tape into the player as the screen starts off blue then shows Love talking about Doe. John snickers as he watches him]

Doe: Look at this loser. He looks like a fag with those glasses on. Look he’s just sitting there and talking when he should be worried about his match with me and not those stupid girls.

Stone: Just shut up, look he had an inter view with that girl you had a interview with.

[Doe mimics Cameron Love]

Doe: “She said, and I quote, that "John Doe seems to be an extremely unbalanced individual with delusions of granduer and the mental development and attention span of a seven-year-old boy. So no, I do not feel that he is going to be an accomplished fighter. It is quite possible that all of the 'training' that he has put himself through may have been magnified or even created by his own imagination." At this point, I had to stop and ask: "So, all of this bravado and confidence stems from a lack of grounding in reality?" And Dr. O'Dea assured me that, "Yes, this man is just frickin' nuts."

Doe: What bull****! Good I am fricken nuts, that’s right crazy insane, who in god’s name is Dr. O’Dea? Never heard of the man. Wait hold on maybe Mr. Love here interviewed the wrong women. Oh my god.

Stone: This guys a joke! Kill him, make him actually wrestle in the ring. Are you kidding me?

Doe: So Love you think I’m fricken nuts? Think I am like Santa Clause huh? Well I am like Santa Clause I just have a different present for you come Combat. You think that I am playing Love? Think I am not a accomplished fighter? Wait till you step in the ring with me bum.

[Stone breaks out in laughter.]

Stone: Did you just hear what this guy said? He’s lounging around in his pool, hanging out with these women and he says that the “experts” say that he is the superior athlete! You see that? Look at him, sloppy, no-good, beat down wrestler that had some stupid experts say that he is better! He probably went over down the street and gave a doctor 10 bucks to say that crap!

Doe: Ha! Stone, you know exactly what is going to happen to him don’t you? I know what is going to happen. He is going to swagger down to the ring thinking he has an easy win, only to find out that he is facing off with me. He thinks he is so great. PSSH! Look at him he’s nothing, oh yea want to hear what my expert has to say, I the expert say that Cameron Love is going to get beat so bad that he won’t be able to walk the next morning.

Stone: This guys a joke John. Look at him you don’t actually think he is going to beat you do you?

Doe: Of course not, while he is walking around in his swimming trunks I am training my ass off. He doesn’t do anything, he has no skill what so ever. I mean what is he going to do? Throw his pink glasses at me? Ha, I can’t believe he even bothered to say anything, he thinks he is better than I am that he is Mr. Better. Well time to face the music Love, time to face the music, because it is time for you to face me off in the ring, I am going to smack your face until your so red you are going to look like a tomato. Man oh man, can’t wait to beat you senseless, maybe you can actually feel what it’s like to face off against a real man. Like you call yourself. I think you should just save yourself the embarrassment and not show up at Combat. Maybe save yourself a couple bucks in hospital bilsl afte ri break all those bones in your body. The point is Love, I am going to show you no mercy. I want you to suffer, want you to be destroyed and never return, don’t ever ewant to see your stupid face in the ring with me again after this match, because frankly your wasting my time and Stones time, you sit there, yes just sit there and ponder upon the beat down you are going to receive at Combat. No don’t get up Love, just sit and think on how messed up your face is going to look after I plow my fist through it. Can’t wait to see your bleed pour to the ground Cameron, oh I can’t wait. The excitement is getting to me, yes Love I am sick. I drive to see blood, I drive to see it drip and hit the ring, that’s what makes me tick that what make sme go, and you well you just set my ticker off and I am ready to go off on you, see Cameron “I Am Not Just Anyone……I am John Doe”



League Member
Apr 8, 2004
The Two Faces of Cameron Love

(( We fade in once again on the wonderful estate
belonging to the one-and-only Cameron Love. This
time, we come inside to the living room, where Love,
clad in jeans, a NWL T-shirt and his standard pink
heart-shaped sunglasses, is sitting by himself on the
large leather couch, checking out the latest John Doe
promo on his big screen TV. ))

CAMERON LOVE: Holy crap, this guy’s so far gone, he
can’t even make sense!

(( Love turns off the TV, throws down the remote, and
shakes his head. ))

LOVE: Doe, you have really started to tick me off.
See, I have always considered myself to be a good
businessman, because I never mix my business with my
pleasure. I try not to drag my personal stuff into
the ring with me, because, let’s be honest – my
personal stuff belongs in the bedroom, not the
wrestling ring. (( snickers )) But seriously. See,
I’m talking about business and pleasure, and now I’m
proving it. The jokes, the innuendo, all of that is
fine and good, but right now, I’m strictly
professional, which means that that needs to stop
right now. So let’s talk, professionally. So –
professionalism. That means that all of my friends
stop being friends when I step into that ring;
everyone is a potential enemy. My own mother won’t
mean anything to me if she’s the one standing in the
opposite corner of the ring. That’s just the level of
professionalism that I’ve got. Keep in mind, I’m
talking about my friends here. You know, people that
I normally interact with and have fun with. Got it?

(( Love sits back and cracks his knuckles. ))

LOVE: My friends. People who have never done me
wrong. Good people that don’t get on my nerves. It
works the same way with opponents. Last time, I had
nothing against Luster. He was just doing what I was
doing, trying to get ahead. I don’t hold it against

(( He leans forward and takes off the shades. His
normally laid-back and grinning face is incredibly
determined now. ))

LOVE: But you? You seem to want to make this fight a
personal one. You don’t seem to want me to act
professional around you. You seem to want to make me
really, really angry. So let’s do this. Let’s make
this fight personal. I’m not even going to
acknowledge that comment about my sexuality – that’s
obviously just your jealous insecurity talking there.
You want to see blood, John? That’s fine. I can
guarantee you that you’ll see plenty of it right after
I kick your teeth down your throat. Or maybe the
blood with come forth after I smash the back of your
head to the canvas with my patented 69 Slam. You want
proof that I’m the better man? I will promise you
this, Doe – for every bone of mine that you even
attempt to break, I will break two of yours. For
every drop of blood that spills from my body, I will
make sure that a pint will flow from yours. Train all
you want, man. I don’t really care. I’m not so
desperate that I have to make such a last-ditch effort
to insure my victory. I know I’m going to win. No
amount of training on your part will every change

(( Love sits back again and slips the shades back on.

LOVE: Let me make something clear, Doe. Not just for
you, but for that entire locker room. When these
shades (( points )) are on, then I’m your normal,
fun-loving, womanizing Cameron Love. This is the guy
that you can get along with and doesn’t hold grudges.
But when these come off – (( removes shades )) then
you are incredibly out of luck. This is the business
face, kid. This is what you’ve got coming for you at
Combat. This is the slam to the mat, the kick to the
face, and whatever else you’ve got coming to you for
all that you’ve said. Combat is the last time you’re
going to be able to laugh at me, kid. Combat is when
I show you just how good I really am.

(( Fade to black. ))
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