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fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
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1,214
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Age
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Location
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Winners & Losers

Wrestler Name: Ikan Jobtayoo
Nicknames (if applicable): the Prince of Pinfall, Everybody's Favourite Fall-guy
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 194 lbs
Hometown: Bjelkez, former USSR
Birthdate: Undisclosed


Physical appearance: Perfectly blond hair that is shoulder length and combed back out go his face. No body hair but has tattoos of nautical stars on his wrists, hip bones, pectorals and upper arms.
Ring gear: He wears purple wrestling briefs with a pink nautical star on the front and rear. He wears purple knee pads and boots.


Theme music: “I Wrestle Bears” by Ikan Jobtayoo dubbed over the top of Primus’ “My Name is Mud”
Ring entrance: “I Wrestle Bears” hits the PA and the fans cheer loudly as Ikan emerges from the back with a big grin on his face, waving stupidly at the fans. He then runs down the ramp, slapping high fives with the fans before sliding into the ring and standing in the centre, waving just as stupidly and grinning.


Face or heel?: Face


Gimmick:
Ikan is the perennial jobber. And he knows he's not very good. He often messes up spots (to his opponent’s advantage typically) and is in constant awe of his competition. A lost in translation “foreigner who consistently gets words and sayings wrong which consistently seems to get him in trouble. He's just happy to be here.


Ring style:
All-rounder who has incorporated leap frogging moves into his repertoire.


Brief biography:
A Prince of Bjelkez, former USSR, who earned his crown wrestling bears came to America to improve from bear wrestling to the biggest stages of the world. Or the smallest. He's just happy to be here.


Three strengths:


1. Heart
2. Enthusiasm
3. Leaping ability




Three weaknesses:


1. Technical skills
2. Strength
3. Botches moves


5-10 signature maneuvers:


1. Ikanplex (rope assisted vertical suplex)
2. Ithinkikan (he runs around the ring swirling both arms in sockets chanting “Ithinkikan” over and over before running into corner with an avalanche)
3. Ikanbump (running butt bump)
4. Leapfrog snapmare
5. sleeper drop
6. schoolboy
7. jawbreaker
8. short-arm kneelift into short-arm clothesline
9. missile dropkick
10. single leg Boston crab


Finishing maneuver:
Ikan’s DDT (snap DDT)

-----

Wrestler Name: Ukan Jobtamee
Nicknames (if applicable): the Bjelkez Butcher, the Soviet Sensat
Height: 6'10"
Weight: 308 lbs
Hometown: Bjelkez, former USSR
Birthdate: Undisclosed


Physical appearance: Monstrous Russian looking bear with black hair and blue eyes. A scar runs down the left hand side of his face. He has a mullet and thick black beard.
Ring gear: He wears red tights with a white hammer sickle on the right thigh. Black boots and his forearms down to his knuckles are all taped up.


Theme music: “Sad but True” by Metallica
Ring entrance: “Sad but True” by Metallica hits the speakers and Ukan stomps out from the back. He Hulks up and roars before running down to the ramp and under the bottom rope.


Face or heel?: Heel(ish) – Ikan’s polar opposite


Gimmick:
Ukan is the polar opposite winning is everything cousin of Ikan Jobtayoo. He is very serious and always gets brought undone by his cousin.


Ring style:
Monster power big.


Brief biography:
As the Protector of the Bjelkez Prince, by birthright being the eldest first cousin, Ukan has been fighting immigration for years to be by the Prince’s side.


Three strengths:


1. Power
2. Strength
3. Power




Three weaknesses:


1. Slow
2. Loyal to Ikan
3. Confusion: doesn't understand English well at all




5-10 signature maneuvers:
1. Big boot
2. Sidewalk slam
3. Short arm clothesline
4. Pendulum back breaker
5. European uppercut
6. Top rope diving clothesline
7. Tilt-a-whirl back breaker
8. Corner splash


Finishing maneuver:
Ukanbomb (sitting choke bomb)
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
835
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
FAFNIR

Wrestler Name: FAFNIR
Nicknames (if applicable): "The German Dragon"
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 270 lbs
Hometown: Düsseldorf, Germany
Birthdate: January 9, 1970

Physical appearance: Big, burly man with a huge bushy black beard streaked with a bit of gray. Lots of muscle, covered by a big belly. At least two teeth missing, the rest a little crooked. Hairy chest.

Ring gear: Light brown leather helm with sections of deep brown dragon scales; helm covers down to the bridge of his nose and has an eye slit and dragon-style "horns". Deep brown dragon scale-style pants, black boots.

Theme music: Dragonforce - "Operation Ground and Pound"
Ring entrance: Lots of yelling of English/German hybrid phrases, lots of chest pounding, and a brusque march to the ring.

Face or heel?: Heel
Gimmick: Son of King Hreidmar, he was affected by the curse of Andvari's ring and gold and became a dragon.

Ring style: Smashmouth/brawler
Brief biography: An old veteran of the German squared circle, he's a man with no other great skills to make money; unfortunately, he was never a great wrestler either. But he's big and scary-looking, and is willing to do whatever he's got to do to make a paycheck, even if that means moving to America and becoming a dragon.

Three strengths: Raw power, tough German "take no nonsense" attitude, experienced (especially helpful when he works with the greener wrestlers on the roster)

Three weaknesses: Low technical ability, past his "prime" (though his prime was never great), gets gassed earlier than most

5-10 signature maneuvers:

Lariat
Gorilla Press
Release German Suplex
Running Splash
Sidewalk Slam
Lots of angry, vaguely Germenglish scary yelling with spittle flying everywhere

Finishing maneuver:

"Hrothgar's Hammer" - Elevated Powerbomb
 
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fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
1,214
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Australia
The Haughty Troupe

Wrestler Name: the Bullseye Kid
Nicknames (if applicable): the Moving Target
Height: 6’1"
Weight: 265 lbs
Hometown: Portland, Oregon
Birthdate: September 26, 1967

Physical appearance: A middle aged man going through a mid-life crisis. Balding on top with ponytail up back. Too much fake tan. (Think Paul Heyman with a roast chicken tan)
Ring gear: He wears a maroon Olympic style wrestling costume with a black cross-hair on his chest. He wears black pants with maroon cross-hairs on the thighs and “TBK” across the butt. Maroon boots. Black sweat bands on his forearms.

Theme music: “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden
Ring entrance: “Black Hole Sun” hits the PA and the fans boo loudly. TBK comes out, dusting his shoulders as he walks. He wipes his feet on the stage, like it were a doormat, before sauntering down arrogantly to the ring. He walks up the steps and is about to enter before he looks around at the fans, sneering, followed by a spit on the ground in disgust before ducking into the ring where he waits in huge corner with a snide look on his face.

Face or heel?: Heel

Gimmick:
TBK is an ex-high flyer who has been grounded by bad knees, bad genes and poor will power (he's got a bit fat). While he's still technically sound, he's bitter that his athleticism has escaped him and is looking to take it out on younger, fitter wrestlers.

Ring style:
Rest hold technician.

Brief biography:
See gimmick.

Three strengths:

1. Technical skills meet his physical ability
2. Ring awareness
3. Ring savvy


Three weaknesses:

1. Slowness
2. Stamina
3. Bitterness

5-10 signature maneuvers:

1. Sleeper slam
2. Sleeper hold
3. Armwrench wristlock into wristlock suplex
4. Head drag takedown into side headlock
5. Running butt bump (takes it out of him)
6. Mule kick
7. Falling splash (just falls down forwards onto a grounded opponent)
8. Bionic elbow
9. Bulldog
10. Bell clap

Finishing maneuver:
Moving Target (cornered opponent tornado DDT)


Wrestler Name: Munchy Man
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 241 lbs
Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA
Birthdate: May 20, 1969

Physical appearance: Long black stringy hair going slightly bald on top. Anglo-saxon and has scars all over his body similar to Sabu.
Ring gear: He wears neon green tights with black lightning 80's style on them. He wears black gloves and has green bands around his biceps. His boots are black and he wears black kneepads over the top.

Theme music: “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden
Ring entrance: “Black Hole Sun” hits the PA and the fans boo loudly. Munchy comes out, bursting with intensity. He bounces from foot to foot, pounding his chest like a beast. He stomps down the ramp and rolls under the bottom ropes where he stands in the centre of the ring and beats his chest again.

Face or heel?: Heel

Gimmick:
Munchy Man is just an old intense dude who still has it. He hasn’t dropped a beat and is impressive in the ring. His pleasure is one upping the youngsters who have stolen his (limited) spotlight.

Ring style:
Brawler.

Brief biography:
See gimmick.

Three strengths:

1. Experience
2. Technical prowess
3. Intensity

Three weaknesses:

1. Temper
2. Hardcore wrestling – busts open VERY easily
3. Does not bump well (big spots virtually take him out)


5-10 signature maneuvers:
1. Big boot
2. Belly-to-back suplex
3. DDT
4. Piledriver
5. Running knee drop
6. Three left handed jabs, screams at dazed opponent, double axe-handle
7. Sleeper hold

Finishing maneuver:
Munchero Slam (pumphandle falling powerslam)


Tag Team Finishing maneuver:
Fall from Arrogance (TBK jumps off the top rope to spike a MM piledriver)
 
Last edited:

fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
1,214
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Australia
The Balkin Empire

Placeholder for bios on the Playboy Harry Balkin & Harry Balkin Jr.
 

fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
1,214
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Australia
BookFace

Wrestler Name: BookFace
Nicknames (if applicable): the Greatest Social PhenomeNOM-NOM-NOM Since Your Mother's Gaping Gaphole, the Worldwide Trend, the Social Media Messiah
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 172 lbs
Hometown: Your News Feed

Physical appearance: Little but looks powerful for his stature.
Ring gear: He wears a blue and silver Luchadore mask (Rey Mysterio style) with all the trims. Wedged in between the eyes and into the forehead is a black book. He pours blood over where the book is wedged so it runs down his face and down his chest. He wears bicep tassles and wears blue trunks with social media icons running down the right hand side and "BOOKFACE" written in the Facebook font down the left leg. He wears white boots.

Theme music: "The Twitter Song" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DopuArSils0
Ring entrance: As the theme hits a whole bunch of hot looking college girls emerge, like zombies, using their mobile phones to perform some sort of social media activity. There are like twenty or so. They stand on the stage, not even looking up, just doing stuff on their phones. They begin to part and BookFace emerges between them, smiling smugly as he looks the girls up and down. He makes his way down to the ramp and up the steps, staring out at the fans when he pulls a mobile phone out of his tights and begins to do the same as the girls on the stage. He will do this until the bell rings.

Face or heel?: Heel
Gimmick: BookFace is infatuated with social media and the idea of being the great social media icon in professional wrestling.

Ring style: Luchadore
Brief biography: Nothing really interesting to speak of. He is a small wrestler who grew up training in his craft and has an obsession with social media. That's about him in a nutshell.

Three strengths: Speed; Technical ability; Agility

Three weaknesses: Strength; Pain threshold; Arrogance

5-10 signature maneuvers:


  1. springboard diving splash
  2. Frankensteiner
  3. arm wrench inside cradle
  4. baseball slide into headscissors takedown
  5. all the dropkicks
  6. Thesz press
  7. wheelbarrow bodyscissors armdrag

Finishing maneuver:
Instagramification: springboard bulldog
 
Last edited:

fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
1,214
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Australia
"Normal" John Johnson

Wrestler Name: "Normal" John Johnson
Nicknames (if applicable): the Buzz of Buzzard's Bay, the Counter Terrorist
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 234 lbs
Hometown: Buzzard's Bay, Massachusetts

Physical appearance: Think of the WCW-Jericho's build. His face isn't important, he always wears his mask.

Ring gear: He wears a full mask with black mesh over his face. It is red and there is a white target on the forehead. He wears a full red tights body suit with white gloves and white boots.

Theme music: "Normal Like You" by Everclear
Ring entrance: He just walks down to the ring and waits for his opponent or for the match to begin, bouncing from foot-to-foot.

Face or heel?: Face
Gimmick: He's just a normal guy who happens to be a wrestler.

Ring style: Counter technician (and mimickery of his opponent)
Brief biography: John was a wrestling prodigy as a kid but married his high school sweetheart and got an IT job and had kids. Unhappy with his life, John decided that he would step out of his depression and chase down his wrestling dream. While he saw success in JUST Wrestling, capturing the Championship, his personal life fell apart as his wife left him (due to an affair) taking their kids with her. Now, John tours the independent scene living his dream. But is it really?

Three strengths: Countering; Mental image mapping (he picks things up just by watching them - may not master them); Heart

Three weaknesses: Power; Bleeds & bruises easily; Charisma

5-10 signature maneuvers:


  1. Backwards flip out of chokehold into cover
  2. Double underhook sit-down powerbomb with pin
  3. Leapfrog body guillotine to an opponent draped over the second rope
  4. Rolling German followed by bridging German Suplex
  5. Slingshot somersault senton
  6. Joey Malone's Malonestrom - Fireman's carry Michinoku Driver
  7. Roaring Elbow - discus elbow to the head
  8. Breathe Normally - guillotine choke
  9. Second-rope bulldog
  10. Top rope hurricanrana

Finishing maneuver:
Setting the Standard (wristlock kneedrop bulldog -- kinda like a Rocker Dropper)
 
Last edited:

QueenOfTheRing

AKA Mom
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
2,623
Points
36
"Wrigleyville's Finest" Johnny Dorn

Here's an NPC/Jobber for you all to kick around.

Wrestler Name: Johnny Dorn
Nicknames (if applicable): "Wrigleyville's Finest"; "The King of Cornhole"; "The Beer Pong Baron"; "Johnny Woo-Woo"; "The Jaegermister, The JaegerMASTER"; "Keg Stand King"; "Fireball Felon"; "Zima Zenith"; "Flip Cup Czar"
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 220
Hometown: The Clark and Newport Triangle
Birthdate: October 18, 1987

Physical appearance: Brown hair, gelled up. Brown eyes. Some muscle definition, but not well defined. BRO SMIRK.

Ring gear:
SHIRT (pick one) - Random t-shirt from Strange Cargo, Big Ten Conference tee, Cubs/Blackhawks/Bears shirt (FUCK THE WHITE SOX), button-down (when he wants to class it up)
PANTS - Longboard shorts, any color. In the winter, he may wear really baggy sweatpants.
SHOES - Sneakers
ACCESSORIES - Douche-shades, removed once he gets in the ring.

Theme music: "Levels" - Avicii
Ring entrance: "Levels" by Avicii hits and "Wrigleyville's Finest" Johnny Dorn swaggers out from the back to massive BOOOOOs. He might be holding his cell phone and talking into it or texting, he might be holding a Solo cup, he might be white-boy dancing. If he sees a cute co-ed, he will stop and hit on her.

Face or heel?: SO MUCH HEEL.

Gimmick: Wicker Park has the hipsters. Lakeview East has the gays. Wrigleyville/Lincoln Park/River North has the bros. Meet "Wrigleyville's Finest" Johnny Dorn. He's here to BRO HARD OR BRO HOME.

You'll want to punch him in the face. Have at it.

Ring style: Technical, barely. Will fight you for your girl if he needs to.
Brief biography: He's your stereotypical bro who never left the frat house. If he's not hanging around Clark St., Lincoln Ave., or LaSalle St., he's probably at the lake or throwing a kegger at the shitty apartment he shares with three other dudes. Really not that much depth to him.

Three strengths:
1. He's a bro, but he's not dumb. He's wily. How else are you gonna jump the line at Cubby Bear on a Saturday night?

2. He's got the hook-up. You want Blackhawks tickets in the 100 level during the playoffs? He knows a guy. You want to get backstage at the Drake/Lil Wayne show? He knows a guy. You want to cut the line at Hot Doug's on a Saturday? HE KNOWS A GUY, AND HE'LL GET YOU DUCK FAT FRIES FOR FREE.*



*but only until October

3. Super confident. He goes into every match thinking he's going to win and humiliate the other guy in the process. It never works out this way.

Three weaknesses:
1. Minimal training. Not very innovative.
2. Easily distracted. Always shit-talking.
3. Not at all serious. Will totally get his ass kicked.

5-10 signature maneuvers:
1. Punches
2. Kicks
3. Dropkick
4. Eye gouge
5. Jawbreaker
6. Side Russian Legsweep
7. Double arm DDT
8. Top rope double axehandle
9. German suplex
10. Bulldog

Finishing maneuver: "The Barleycorn Bomb" (sitout gourdbuster)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
835
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
El Cabrón

Wrestler Name: El Cabrón
Nicknames (if applicable): the Goat Bastard, the Escape Artist, Ol’ Dopesmoker
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 224 lbs.
Hometown: Indianapolis, Indiana
Birthdate: April 1st, 1984

Physical appearance: White guy, once built lean and mean many years ago, now looking slightly paunchy and succumbing to age. Body is a mosaic of tattoos, scars, and patches of hair. Head is accentuated by a stringy mane of medium-length brown hair, a hobo beard, and big, wild brown eyes.

Ring gear: Black baggy karate pants, black wrist bands -- wrestles barefoot. Comes to the ring wearing an open yukata robe and geti sandals. Covers his face beneath an iconic goat-themed luchador mask, made of red latex and black leather trim and straps, and marked with two foam “goat horns”. Eyes and mouth are left open to show his expression, and enough is open in the back to let his hair hang out.

Theme music: “Hail” by Bongripper
Ring entrance: Monsterous riffs of Chicago DOOM belch from the PA as El Cabrón comes twirling through the curtain… stops… glances briefly over his shoulder in bewilderment once he realizes he’s facing the curtain with his back to the audience… spins around the right way and makes his way to the ring. Walks slow, at the pace of a Deadman’s funeral march, but with a slight juke in time to the music. Plays up being the usual nasty bastard he’s known to be, but can’t help to return a high-five from any hipster that knows he’s too cool for school.

Face or heel?: Dastardly heel, but a lovable one

Gimmick: Moonsaultin’, karate kickin’, dopesmokin’, Satan-worshippin’, oversellin’, spot stealin’, trouble-brewin’ rudo luchador. A preacher of chaos and ruin, sweetly coated in comical wit. Stuck somewhere between free-spirited philosopher on the canvas and a drug-addled has-been with nothing to live for..

Ring style: Daredevil high-flyer and martial artist
Brief biography: Born in a small town in the heart of Indiana, had a mostly troublesome and neglected childhood, from which he escaped through copious marijuana use and backyard wrestling with the local Juggalos. Wandered the states for about a year beneath the El Cabrón mask, earning a living by jobbing through the indie leagues… eventually ended up in Japan where he crossed paths with fellow wrestler Ivan Dalkichev and manager Nathan Fear. Fear, a wealthy entrepreneur with political savvy, repackaged the duo as “The Crimson Calling” and brought them back stateside. They became significant for being the first team to win the EPW Tag Team Championship in 2004. When the team dissolved, Black continued solo on the professional level under various aliases ranging from Dopesmoker to Rezin. All the while, he continued to make appearances in the indie leagues as El Cabrón, establishing himself as something of an indie legend and developing almost mythic reputation for being able to make ANYBODY look good in the ring.

Three strengths:
Kung-Fu Master - El Cabrón’s legs are fast and deadly; he can chain series of kicks with blinding speed and surprising balance. His uncanny kickboxing technique also serves the benefit of keeping an opponent from getting in too close. The Cloven Hoof kick (spinning heel) is his go-to knock out strike, and usually works well as a counter.

Skywalker - El Cabrón boasts a mental encyclopedia of various high-flying maneuvers (including rare and as-yet-unheard stunts he keeps threatening to whip out if provoked). He’s also remarkably capable of pulling them off within a moment’s notice and an arm’s length distance from the ropes or the turnbuckles. It could be said that an out-of-nowhere Cabrósault (springboard moonsault) or Cabrónrana (dragonrana) is his signature spot for every match.

Escape Artist - El Cabrón is a wrestling cockroach... and as soon as the tides shifts against him in the match, he bails from the ring the soonest chance he can get to kill his opponent’s momentum. His vexing ability to slip, squeeze, and squirm out of practically any hold or move has earned him the Houdini-inspired nickname of “the Escape Artist”.

Three weaknesses:
Lightweight - Against any opponent with a significant advantage in size and strength, El Cabrón’s obviously going to have problems grappling. He also tends to make a fitting human lawn dart for larger athletes. He epitomizes the smaller guy who gets tossed around a lot.

Reckless Abandon - Either through intoxication or insanity, El Cabrón typically takes Wile E. Coyote-esque risks in the ring, particularly with high-flying. As is often the case, his lust for destruction may end up spelling his demise as he tries to go all out, but ultimately just ends up throwing himself off something high and landing awkward.

The Heel Effect - El Cabrón’s your typical bad apple... refs and fans hate him alike, and it usually plays on his psychology. He might lose focus on an opponent to taunt the fans, or interrupt his momentum by trying to cheat or wrestling dirty in sight of the ref.

5-10 signature maneuvers:
Cabrósault (moonsault)
Cabrórana (dragonrana)
Cloven Hoof Kick (spinning heel kick)
Facebuster DDT
Somersault cutter
Hurricanrana
Scoop-slam piledriver
Enziguri
Missile Dropkick
Skin the Goat (hilariously botched version of Skin the Cat, where he gets his head stuck between the ropes)

Finishing maneuver: The Satyr Slice (standing shiranui)
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
835
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
The White Hat

Wrestler Name: The White Hat
Nicknames (if applicable): The Ol' Gunslinger
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 188 lbs.
Hometown: The Old Far West
Birthdate: Unknown

Physical appearance: A grizzled dirty blonde beard and piercing green eyes. Physically, he's quite fit, but looks more agile than strong.
Ring gear: A simple black mask trimmed with white that covers his eyes, nose, and scalp, but not the lower half of his face. He wears a pure white cowboy hat and pancho to the ring, which he discards before the match. White-and-black full-leg tights and white-and-black cowboy boots.
Theme music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyPyjprGvW0
Ring entrance: Brusch'll handle it, y'all.

Face or heel?: Face
Gimmick: "Gunslinging" cowboy from the future-past.
Ring style: More slow and methodical than you might expect given his frame; bursts of intense agility, but mostly counter-attacks with strikes and submissions.
Brief biography: Little is known about who this man is, where he came from, or why he's here. All we know is that the man wears a white hat and he's come for justice.

Three strengths:
- God, he's rugged.
- He's a man on a mission at all times.
- Wily as a motherfuck.

Three weaknesses:
- Lone wolf - extremely bad at making friends and finding allies.
- Always fighting from underneath.
- Blinded by his moral compass.

5-10 signature maneuvers:
Spinning backfist
Countering counters into counterholds (he'll counter most submissions into some other submission; he doesn't usually start a submission himself out of the blue.)
Superkick
Spinning leg sweep
Jawbreaker

Finishing maneuver: "High Noon" - Top rope knee drop

Last but not least…PM brusch one secret about your character that will not be immediately apparent or obvious.
 
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