NFW: RANDOM RUMBLE IS POSTED! + FEEDBACK THREAD

[EastPrez]

WOOP! WOOP!
(That's the sound of the POLEEEEEECE.)

RANDOM RUMBLE IS FINALLY DONE.

http://nfw.e-wrestling.org/content.php?p=results&id=189

We are BACK IN BUSINESS and now stare at the beginning of Q2.

Thanks for the wait. Some things will change moving forward and we will move together as a group, but that's talk for another time. FOR TODAY, WE READ CARD.

ALSO in about 24 hours PRESIDENT MAYFIELD will give a special press conference RE: RANDOM RUMBLE.

Thanks!

ONWARD.

 

[BigPimpin]

Well done show.

If that is Jack Bryant's last night in NFW, then he went out in a blaze of glory.

Also, almost everyone in the Random Rumble got good shine. I was happy with the way my guys were portrayed, especially given the no-show on my part.

The on-air announced surprise was the only thing that I was kinda meh on. While Billy did earn it, he's already got himself locked in for the next arc; what good does it do anyone that the "on-air surprise" went to the same character? I would have much rather seen Kuroyama or Mac Bry pull that out.

Anyway, I look forward to planning for the next arc.

 

[Legion]

Good show once again - the Harmen arc crossing over into Castor's was a nice touch and I took note on Harmen's words about not being free (more specifically the style in how they were shown). Good to see how the Black Market were portrayed - Legion being eliminated went how I expected and a nice Maven/Undertaker at Royal Rumble moment for The Mac Bry. Now to see where NFW goes from here...

 

[LQJT86C]

Whoa. I won.

10/10!

No, I'll respond with real feedback later. Gotta go over this one with a fine-tooth comb and such...

 

[THE Mac Bry]

Oh......My......GAWD.......I LOVED IT!! XD

I fuh-REAKING, LOVED that...srsly, THANK YOU for making me look so good...I mean, literally, the outfit additions, like the dragons down the sides of the pants, the guyliner, and of course--The Stardust Lightning Bolt! I am SO running w/that! ^__^ At first, when I signed up, I only wanted the one match, unless I won. Then I'd stick around...

...but after reading those RESULTS, I don't freaking care that I lost...14 years in this game. NEVER has ANYONE written raYne/Mac Bry so perfectly, captured the essence of the character, captured who I feel I am within...Gawd, I fuckin' loved reading that, regardless of the outcome. I fan-girled reading the ENTIRE thing and I don't just mean my part, I don't even just mean the Rumble itself, but from top to bottom. The way it was written, the humor AND the action, and the storytelling, the way ALL of the characters were portrayed...

And now I realize why that thing took so long to put together. IT WAS HUGE...But SO worth the read. It's clear it was a massive undertaking, and it was done the way a battle royal SHOULD be done. Like a real Rumble of epic proportions, and it just proves to me that this place is the place to be, regardless of any of the circumstances at this moment in time. Those results were astounding. As Chrom mentioned, EVERYONE got their moment in the spotlight, Stryfe vs Strife, Hollywood and his golden child, Leyenda and Teddy's rivalry, KERRY FUCKIN' KUROYAMA... All of it. Abso-frickin-lutely fabulous.

And for portraying my creation, as well as my inner self, SO freaking perfectly. And especially O'Conner's narrative during the entrance, the fact that raYne IS different, unique, and hard to figure out, and that is what makes him who he is, and what gives him his edge... Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, I am smiling so much right now, and I am staying. NFW is now another home for me, and I AM LOOKING FORWARD to the journey. Thank you. ^.^ <3

BTW, Kuro...Last night, I FINALLY read your response. And I absolutely adored it, you were RIGHT on point. I realized that Teddy wasn't a legend. I realized that that was a grave, grave error on my part, and ending the piece on that, I felt was my fatal blow. I just, I saw 'Fuggin Voss'. I know Voss. I know what the guy brings. I see that name, I think 'legend'...But clearly, in this particular case, it was a mistake that cost me >< I DO need to study this place, research the history. I do that w/any place I become a true part of. And as such, I am getting the facts, reading up on the past. Annnd, HOPEFULLY...I will have a response tomorrow. ^^

Also, tbh? I PM'ed Strife back on 3/24. I read that piece, and I KNEW I was looking at the winner. There is no shame in losing to that kind of work, and I believe Kerry more than likely feels the same way. And yesh... I'm listening to Sarah McLachlan while I write this. XP She is EPIC, I don't care what you say, that song MOTIVATES me....But, I've decided to go w/a different song. Something I used for one match last year...The song at the top of this post, 'Can't Stop The Rain', by Kropp Circle. I'll try to have a modified contract sent in soon. Thing is, it's STILL something most of you probably wouldn't be caught dead listening to. But, that's who the character is, that's who I am. I buck the trend. I don't conform. And in the words of Dolores O' Riordan & Stevie Frickin' Nicks...I go my own way.

And that way, is to FUTURESHOCK NUMERO DOS, Bay-BAYYY!! ^___^

Onward. And upward. Here we come, bitchez.

#FIERCE

#TheTrueStorm

#KerryWeComin4USucka!!

#AndYESiUsedHashtagsANDaVideoInAnOOCpost<3

​

 

[THE Mac Bry]

BTW...Leige. Thank you for the compliment. I read where Mac took out Bandit & Devestator...I was shocked. Like, literally...IF Kerry has plans for F.S.II...What would you say to putting together some sorta fued? As I mentioned in the RP, Reeve once led a group very similar to yours, and he went by the name of 'Legion'...It'd be perfect. If you're interested, hit me up. Rawk on, brutha. EDIT3: ...unless you have plans. i'm sorry, i don't think before i talk, clearly. sorry ><


EDIT: Ya know...no. I'm not changing my theme. I just started listening to 'Possession'. The Random Rumble was the first time I've ever used that song for raYne. And it will not be the last. It's the first of many. I'm stickin' with it. I hear this song, the intro...It's raYne. It just feels right. It pumps me up, regardless of how anyone else feels. Thank you, all of you. For makin' this a great experience. And I hope it doesn't end any time soon. Have a fantasmah-GLORIOUS day, and take care of yourselves.


EDIT2: And I JUST REALIZED... I did not EVEN mention anything about the alternating black & hot pink nails in my app...That is precisely what I do, with the alternating colors. I know, a lotta you are gonna read this and think negative things, but to the writing staff...Whomever did that. Thank you. The attention to detail...You catered to me. I mean, you put in the effort to, for a lack of a better term, 'go gay' for that one brief moment, and just reading that, ONE part, however minor it may seem...

Then, reading all of the other parts, and how much attention you gave to each and every individual and storyline...I honestly cannot fathom why this fed isn't bustling w/activity. It's a legit shame, but I am HAPPY to be here, and involved, IF you'll have me for the longhaul. I know I write far too much, so I'll cut off now. I just wanted to let you know, I sincerely appreciated every bit of that, and the entire show was beyond a shadow of a doubt one of the most phenomenal reads I've enjoyed in the over a decade I've been doing this. Thank you, and have a beautiful day.

~ $hane-o-mac 3ry


"And I will be the one to hold you down,
Kiss you so hard...I'll take your breath away.
And after I wipe away the tears?
Just close your eyes."


EDIT4: okay... i just realized that Chrom was referring to the blank contract, not the actual rumble win, and now i feel like an idiot. even moreso than usual. sorry about all of this, from now on i'll leave ooc alone. sorry.​

 

[EastPrez]

Glad you enjoyed it!

 

[THE Mac Bry]

No, THANK YOU. ^_^

Btw...If I send in an app...
Could I be a legit roster member? :^O

Annnd...Any chane of KuroVsMB @FutureShockII ? :^/

~ $.H.3.

 

[RStrawsma]

It was a long venture to get from beginning to end... but made it through Random Rumble, and pleased to say the event lived up to the level epicness it was hyped to be. Nice show opening, as always. Harmen vs. Bryant was a really excellent battle... I kinda liked how the bell didn't even wrong until they were halfway through beating the hell out of one another. I liked the roles they took up... Bryant the unyielding, seemingly undying hero, Harmen everything you expect from a snake in the grass. Looking back after the truth was revealed, I feel attacking Bryant with the chair was a good way to cover for Jack wrestling through the match while he was likely pretending to be ailing.

The rumble itself was a colossal feat of writing, and I'm impressed by the way that was all strung together. Eddie Mayfield's role in this match was classic... from starting things off as number two, to taking a quick smoke break out of the ring, to tagging out to Lamont and taking a seat at commentary. His presence around the entire event really put his thumb print on the match. Everybody else had an opportunity to shine through, and I felt like the action was fairly spread out. The only time it became difficult for me to follow was when one or two guys ended up fighting outside the ring -- sometimes couldn't figure out/remember if they had been eliminated... there were a lot of instances of guys slipping through the ropes. Spreading out the action was a good way of keep things separated, but that was my only observation there.

Rumble ended the way it needed to end... and Castor Strife came through in a big way. The reveal of Stryfe as Pat Black was a great tie-in to Harmen's "cancer" thread, and I can say I didn't expect these guys to be in league with each other at any point. But with Bryant out, Strife seems like the natural go-to foil for Harmen in the World Title picture. Time will tell how the other titles shape out.

All in all, very enjoyable reading experience... can't wait for Futureshock 2!

 

[jediPREZ]

DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!

Three things:

1) I've merged all of Stryfe, Black and Cancer into one roster profile for anyone that cares to look at the guy wholly. /OCD
2) The writing of Cancer was and will continually be an 'ensemble' effort, the handler isn't back in black. BFF has done a great job taking most of the lead solos.
3) "To everything burn, burn, burn. . . " on THIS LINKED SHOW -- This is the segment/moment that got NFW banned from Baltimore, and the scars that have been described in-depth. Just thought I'd share for those that haven't been around since 2001 and have a single shred of curiosity.

 

[brusch]

I'm back.

I'm sorry to have been away for so many months - the short answer many of you know and will expect is "real life was too much", and anyone who would like additional details can feel free to shoot me a PM or a message on AIM. Special thanks to JN for being very understanding of the whole situation, and apologies to Voss in particular for being AWOL during this ever-more-gruesome/awesome-feud.

I will fully admit that the only things I've read fully from this card so far (because I have a lot of catch-up to do) have involved LDO, and all of that stuff was written very well. Love how monstrous Teddy came off with his "I will powerbomb you until I am literally tazed", and it's always the super perfect thing for a babyface luchador to take a ton of abuse while occasionally busting out "the high flies". One question - did LDO get new music? Don't remember that theme...will have to check it out!

I'm reserving this block for when I read the rest of the card, which will be over the course of the next couple days. Holy sheezus what a lengthy one - but I think well-deserved, given the magnitude of events this represents.

It's good to be back. Ready to get writing.

 

[EastPrez]

I'm back.

I'm sorry to have been away for so many months - the short answer many of you know and will expect is "real life was too much", and anyone who would like additional details can feel free to shoot me a PM or a message on AIM. Special thanks to JN for being very understanding of the whole situation, and apologies to Voss in particular for being AWOL during this ever-more-gruesome/awesome-feud.

I will fully admit that the only things I've read fully from this card so far (because I have a lot of catch-up to do) have involved LDO, and all of that stuff was written very well. Love how monstrous Teddy came off with his "I will powerbomb you until I am literally tazed", and it's always the super perfect thing for a babyface luchador to take a ton of abuse while occasionally busting out "the high flies". One question - did LDO get new music? Don't remember that theme...will have to check it out!

I'm reserving this block for when I read the rest of the card, which will be over the course of the next couple days. Holy sheezus what a lengthy one - but I think well-deserved, given the magnitude of events this represents.

It's good to be back. Ready to get writing.

Cool, we do PPVs big, because they should be.
That was the plan from the beginning, and the totality of a whole quarter should feel big.

 

[EastPrez]

It was a long venture to get from beginning to end... but made it through Random Rumble, and pleased to say the event lived up to the level epicness it was hyped to be. Nice show opening, as always. Harmen vs. Bryant was a really excellent battle... I kinda liked how the bell didn't even wrong until they were halfway through beating the hell out of one another. I liked the roles they took up... Bryant the unyielding, seemingly undying hero, Harmen everything you expect from a snake in the grass. Looking back after the truth was revealed, I feel attacking Bryant with the chair was a good way to cover for Jack wrestling through the match while he was likely pretending to be ailing.

The rumble itself was a colossal feat of writing, and I'm impressed by the way that was all strung together. Eddie Mayfield's role in this match was classic... from starting things off as number two, to taking a quick smoke break out of the ring, to tagging out to Lamont and taking a seat at commentary. His presence around the entire event really put his thumb print on the match. Everybody else had an opportunity to shine through, and I felt like the action was fairly spread out. The only time it became difficult for me to follow was when one or two guys ended up fighting outside the ring -- sometimes couldn't figure out/remember if they had been eliminated... there were a lot of instances of guys slipping through the ropes. Spreading out the action was a good way of keep things separated, but that was my only observation there.

Rumble ended the way it needed to end... and Castor Strife came through in a big way. The reveal of Stryfe as Pat Black was a great tie-in to Harmen's "cancer" thread, and I can say I didn't expect these guys to be in league with each other at any point. But with Bryant out, Strife seems like the natural go-to foil for Harmen in the World Title picture. Time will tell how the other titles shape out.

All in all, very enjoyable reading experience... can't wait for Futureshock 2!

Thanks man! Appreciate it.

 

[LQJT86C]

Sorry for the late feedback, guys. Just completed a move, plus my wife is pregnant and delivering next month, plus work, plus plus plus plus etc. But that's all in the past. Let's get to the shit that really matters, aka RANDOM RUMBLE WENT UP LAST MONTH!

For the opening, I like that we've transitioned to using a separate announce team for the pre-match analysis, before heading over to O'Connor and Lamont for the matches. That's a technique that boxing has used for years, MMA has just started doing it, pro-kickboxing (Glory World Series for anyone who might watch it) did that for their first PPV last week, and I'm a huge mark for putting the "studio details" over here in FW land.

That brings us to the World Title match. I know that we're supposed to pretend like the forums don't exist when we read cards, but let's be honest: we all knew based on the no-show that Jack Harmen was winning this match. That left the bookers/writers with the dilemma of putting this over like a real competitive match, or using it to get Harmen over more. They went with the latter, and I think that was a wise decision. A 20 page match would have been pointless because the outcome was obvious, so I liked that instead we got a fast/furious pace that ultimately got Harmen over as a psychotic, destructive maniac more than he already was.

Random Rumble!

Brilliant idea to break this up into arcs. Doing otherwise would have been like writing a book with no chapters. It's just great for the reader to have it broken up like that, and allows memorable moments to stand out more easily, i.e. "That was the best moment of Arc 1!"

Going back to the days of UWA on Prodigy, I've read my fair share of Random Rumble matches, and unless I'm forgetting something that was better, I really think this is the best that's ever been done. It is so difficult to get the pacing of these matches right, because inevitably the writer gets bored and just starts writing giants blocks of text shitpoop because "Hey, fuck it, nobody's reading anyway but if I get to 30 pages, someone will give me a handjob." They write a great open, a great finish, and let everyone assume the middle was fantastic when it was really just nonsensical action from somebody's Zeus emulator. In fact, one of the dudes running PRIME during one of its final arcs DID use Zeus to write a match. And I gave it 6/10 stars!

Anyway...Katz/JN/GG/whoever wrote the fucking thing did an amazing job because at no point did I feel like the writer lost enthusiasm, or lost his "place". It all made sense, and as a few others pointed out, everybody got a shine. So many epic lines from Lamont, probably more in one card than I can remember, but this one was my favorite:

SIMS: “THE FIRST ELIMINATION OF RANDOM RUMBLE . . . PLAIN BROWN RAPPER . . . HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! (Cheers!)”

H’WOOD: “Annnnnd the world keeps spinning.”

O’CONNOR: “Plain Brown Rapper rolls out of the ring holding the back of his head, and OH! Castor just booted his hat out after him! He’s on his way back up the ramp--”

H’WOOD: “And back to his job at quality control at the rubber sex butt factory.”

O’CONNOR: “Ok--”

H’WOOD: “And back to his job at night watchman at the funeral home.”

O’CONNOR: “I GET--”

H’WOOD: “H’WOOD: “And back to his job as stress-tester at the Real Doll factory.”

O’CONNOR: (Laughing) “ENOUGH!”

H’WOOD: “Choose your own adventure, Beansprouts!”

I laughed out loud legit.

Hey, K2 comes out to the Melvins! Fuck yeah Straw, I knew you had good taste, man. I've been slowly weaving some Melvins tunes into my promos, and you just reminded me to do it again for the next one. One of the most underappeciated bands of all times!

Back to the match: pivoting to my own character for a second, I loved the epic confrontations between Castor and Mike Randalls. The Wolf was my favorite character back in the day, and still is when he shows up every now and then, so that was cool to see the guy who I consider to be the GOAT (him and Troy Windham) having those big moments with Castor, who I never envisioned being on that same "stage."

Another moment I marked out for was the bloody kiss that Castor gave Mac Bry right before eliminating him. At first I was laughing and saying "WTF?? They just had my guy kiss the gayest character in the league!" But it made sense. Castor always had a Goldust type vibe about him, maybe moreso early on when I debuted him in 2001, but I also see Castor as the David Bowie of NFW. He might be the only character who could get away with doing that. Anyway, it took balls to write that, it was a button-pushing moment, and I enjoyed it. Can't wait until Castor gives a rimjob at Futureshock!

I was having trouble thinking of a theme for Stryfe. Initially I thought we'd have him enter to no music at all, like Mike Tyson used to back in the 80s, but whoever came up with "The Day The World Went Away" by NIN hit the nail on the head. PERFECT!

The finish with the alt Director's Cut was cool. I sort of agree with BigPimpin about Castor winning the Rumble AND the Open Contract, seemed a bit like overkill, but here's the thing: it ties in pretty well with the angle that this card pushes heavily between Harmen, Stryfe, Castor, and Eddie. The whole Rumble and finish seemed heavily godbooked, and that would be a little crummy if the match was RP'd for like crazy, but...it wasn't. None of us, including myself, really churned out a lot of material except for Mac Bry. Given the circumstances, it gave the bookers more wiggle room to mold the finish the way that best fit the main event angle, so with that in mind I definitely think the finish made sense and sets up some high drama for the upcoming shows.

The final segment with Castor and Eddie both being laid out by the Walking Dead (awesome name btw) and the OC becoming the a weapon that both he and Eddie will have to use to each other's benefit in an uneasy alliance was well-executed and very interesting. I liked that the Stryfe reveal didn't get TOO much into the history of Pat Black right off the bat, mainly because that can be saved for later, and nobody really knows much about Pat Black, or cares at this juncture. All we need to know is, he's from the past and has an axe to grind. The rest can follow and be developed over time.

Overall, this show displayed the attention to detail that I think separates NFW from pretty much every fed that's ever existed. That's not to disparage anyone else, but I've never read another fed that got the little details right to the extent NFW does since UWA, which was the NFW pre-cursor run by JN back on Prodigy. RR 2014 avoided the pitfalls that could have made it lackluster and was a very enjoyable read. 9/10!