* Shawn Hart RP for C09.
Standing proudly before a generic, 80's style promo backdrop with the New Era logo and blown up photos of SJH in the ring, with Juliet Marceau backstage, and posing at his chateau before a trophy case filled with over the evidence of his decade plus of achievement is former New Era Champion Shawn Jessica Hart, PhD.
Decked from head to toe in black and taxicab yellow pleather and sporting an expression most surly, SJH is locked, cocked, and ready to unload one of his trademark rants.
SJH: "Michael Montgomery...."
Jam Master Jiggy shakes his head with complete and utter contempt.
SJH: "Wow.... what can I say really? You seem to have this whole scene sorted out for yourself. What could I even venture to bring to the table for a discussion so obviously settled that it's practically Mother Nature's Law.
Shawn Hart sucks and that's all there is to it."
SJH: "Forget the fact that I'm the one guy who, aside from a little coffee break like 6 years ago to catch up on all the SVU's I missed on the road, who has been with N-E-W every step of the way. The guy who's been in more main events here than every other alleged main-eventer combined, and the guy who's held the top prize in the promotion for more combined time than anyone else who lucked themselves into a turn with MY gold belt.
None of it matters, Michael Montgomery says I'm a flash in the pan."
SJH pauses momentarily to admire his outfit and his flowing locks of blonde.
SJH: "The FLASHIEST flash in the pan, no less. But ya know what? That's A-OK with me... cuz when you play around in the pan, your ass is right there in the fire, and over the course of my nearly 15 year career of doin' things Michael Montgomery could never DREAM of doing, I've proven time and time again that NO ONE can take that heat like the PHENOM, the Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister, Jam Masta Jiggy in the FLESH, Shawn Jessica Hart!"
He strikes his most bad-ass pose... but quickly realizes his fly is undone and hurries to remedy the situation. He smiles sheepishly into the camera before continuing.
SJH: "So here's the deal, bub... I appreciate the GUMPTION you've displayed by doin' your DAMNDEST to be as disrespectful as humanly f(FCC)cking possible to me, but the steak n' eggs of the situation is that this washed-up piece of sh(FCC)t is a BIG reason why you have a job here, why people actually paid to see shows your Nancy-ass wrestled on. And your faux confidence notwithstanding, the fact of the matter here is that despite your own suckery, your mouth ain't big enough to chew what you're trying to bite here, kid.
So while I'll give it up to ANYONE who tries to make their mark in this biz by talking a big game, then bustin' it out in the ring.... NO ONE does those things like I do. And for all your poking and prodding at my infallible legacy, I'm makin' it my PERSONAL mission to set your sorry ass straight!
One day, all this CHUTZPAH of yours might be warranted, but right here.. right now... you're sittin' in my sandbox. And sh(FCC)t's about to hit the fan!"
SJH: "Pelvis has left the building..."