[FADEIN: Mikey is sitting on a locker room bench, the same one we saw him on before. There is no banner behind him this time. It's just him, a camera and an invisible cameraman.]
MIKEY: Sorry, TEAM fans. I've got no music for you. Can't afford the license. And I've got no trippy camerawork. That cameraman TEAM sent me said he'd do it for me, but I told him I didn't want to waste my time or his. Because it's time to get down to what I do best... arguing for The Truth.
[Mikey stands up and begins pacing in front of the camera, talking as much to himself as he is to Rocko and the rest of the professional wrestling community.]
MIKEY: Rocko, Rocko, Rocko… you accuse me of being the one who pretends to have all the answers, who pretends to have infinite knowledge, far surpassing that of anyone else…
[He turns to the camera, shrugs and smirks.]
MIKEY: Well, first of all, I do.
[Continues pacing...]
MIKEY: Second of all, you claim the same. You act as if you have found this ideal place to be, as if you have finally heard your calling. As if God placed you here to fight and to only fight. And all those other things—your children, your wife, yadda yadda—were just obstacles on your path to this moment of Zen you have finally come to. Give me a ****ing break. Leaving your family behind... for this industry? Jesus, Rocko, you're a sick ****. I hope, for your sake, that this isn’t the philosophical endpoint of your life because you have way more to go. And, though I don’t want to admit it, you have the potential to get there.
[Mikey points to the camera as if Rocko were right there.]
MIKEY: Let me enlighten you some more, buddy. After those cute little tricks with the camera, you accuse me of making false assumptions based on you. Yes, sir, I DID make assumptions based on you. But making assumptions is all we humans do. NOTHING is certain. There ain’t a damn thing in this world you can count on; all we ever have is a best-possible guess. Life’s a poker game, buddy. A world of incomplete information.
[Back to his pacing...]
MIKEY: And besides… I nailed you buddy. You’re exactly who I thought you were. You’re a man in denial. You’re actually closer to The Truth than most guys in this industry, which is both an accomplishment and a tragedy. It’s an accomplishment because you are right there; The Truth is right there in front of you; it takes a special kind of person to get there, and for that much, I applaud you. But it’s a tragedy because you ignore it; you refuse to reach out and seize it into your hands. You’re scared. A perennial *****.
[Mikey stops for a moment, holds his chin as if in deep thought, then smirks and turns to the camera.]
MIKEY: The Undying? Ha! The Unthinking!
[Mikey resumes pacing.]
MIKEY: You also deride those snobbish indie fans as you call them. Hey, buddy, before you go criticizing those snobbish indie wrestling fans… don’t you think for one ****ing second that they’re any different than the fans of EPW, NFW, CSWA or TEAM or whatever-thei****. I want to hear you say it, Rocko. The fans are ALL pieces of ****. They pay to see other men beat the **** out of each other. It isn’t a competition like you claim, Rocko. They aren’t there to watch a sport like basketball or football fans are… they are there to see us shorten our lives. Football is a mean sport, arguably the toughest and most complex of the popular professional sports… but no one could make the argument that the average fan is there to see a career-ending injury.
[The pacing intensifies. Mikey grows more and more animated with his arms.]
MIKEY: You talk about your actual accomplishments in this so-called sport, Rocko. You claim I’ve accomplished nothing. Let me tell you the difference between my success and your success. It isn’t that the titles you’ve won are more respectable than the titles I’ve won. And it isn’t that the promotion you’re at the top of is more respectable than the promotion I’m at the top of. Those are fine arguments and you can make them if you want. The real difference between our successes comes down to one thing: marketability. You, sir, ooze charisma. You’re a good-looking fella. You LOOK like a professional wrestler is SUPPOSED to look. And that’s why, early in your career, you were handpicked to be pushed to the moon. Yes, you were talented. Yes, you earned your championships. But the fact of the matter is that the only difference between where you are and where I am is that you were more marketable than me. For Chrissakes, Rocko, look at me!
[Mikey opens his mouth and moves closer to the camera. He points to his teeth.]
MIKEY: Crooked-as-hell teeth.
[Mikey points to his head.]
MIKEY: Awful hair. Weirdly-shaped skull. Don’t know how to properly trim my beard or my unibrow or my ear hair or my nose hair.
[Resumes hurried pacing...]
MIKEY: Awkward as ****, Rocko. THAT’s the difference between our successes. You put a man with my abilities in your body, with your personality and your charisma, I’ll win the ****ing EPW World Title too!
MIKEY: See, Rocko, that’s another reason this isn’t like professional football or basketball. Granted, Michael Jordon and LeBron James happen to be good-looking folk, but if they had buck teeth and facial psoriasis, is there any doubt in your mind they wouldn’t have still reached the top? You think anyone in the NFL gives a **** what the players they just drafted look like? Of course not. Give me a break, Rocko. This ain’t a damn sport like that.
[Mikey's voice grows louder. It's now as if he has even forgot the camera is even present. His pacing brings him far left of the camera, then far right of the camera, back and forth, to and fro.]
MIKEY: For God’s sake, Rocko, your life proves my hypothesis. You gave your entire life—you gave up what REALLY matters—for this cursed profession. Never in my life have I seen such a perfect example than Rocko Daymon. You are the perfect example of what this industry does to people… chews ‘em up, spits ‘em out… then steps on the remains just for kicks. And its the FANS who are to blame, those soulless pieces of ****. Not just the indie fans, but ALL of them. Don’t pretend that you’ve overcome their influence. Don’t pretend that you’ve risen above their bull****. For God’s sake, Rocko, you deny it, but you sacrificed your children and your wife for THEM. You won’t admit it; you’ll hide under the guise of being a sportsman and being a fighter, but I see you for what you are, Rocko. THEY created this spectacle. If you want to be a true sportsman, a true fighter, find a different industry… because professional wrestling is THEIRS.
[He is behind the cameraman now, though his words are still clearly audible.]
MIKEY: You make the argument that professional wrestlers are the types of people who have no choice but to wrestle… But, once again, you’ve got it all wrong, Rocko. Your premise is flawed. You claim that we are all drug-addicted, temperamental failures, and because of that, we are forced to enter this arena. But, my friend, it isn’t that God cursed certain people with drug addictions and poor temperaments and they all then happened to stagger into the same industry. No, Rocko. Here’s what happened. Various people with athletic ability decided to put that ability to use in a unique way. They fell for the glitz and the glamour, thought they were both competing and entertaining. Then, in various ways and at different lengths of time, the industry turned these well-intentioned people into those drug-addicted, temperamental failures, as you describe them. We all could’ve done something else, Rocko. I didn’t have to fight. I could have been a damn fine accountant.
[He is back on camera now, his pacing intensifying even more. His arms now swinging wildly as he emphatically makes each of his points.]
MIKEY: You are proving my hypothesis, Rocko. You entered this sport as an idealist, believing it was all for the fans. Then you realized that they didn’t accept you. The industry began to eat at you. You began to see The Truth. The sad thing, Rocko, is that you realized what The Truth was… yet you were too weak to deal with it appropriately. Instead of standing like I do, calling a spade a spade, telling the industry exactly what it really is, you convinced yourself that there was a sport somewhere within professional wrestling that was legitimate, that this sport could sustain you and nourish you. You’re wrong, Rocko. You’re going to spend your entire career under this guise unless you open your eyes just a bit more, until you look within yourself and realize you are still living under a fallacy. Until you reach out with your hand and seize The Truth. Until then, Rocko… you’re stuck somewhere between the rest of them and me.
[Mikey sits back on the bench, pointing at the camera, his eyes now fixed on it.]
MIKEY: You claim you’ll enjoy seeing me fall at our match. Rocko, you may very well experience that joy. You might pin me—hell, maybe you’ll make me submit—but whatever the outcome, even if your hand is raised, even if you go on to win this God-forsaken tournament, know one thing… I am still ahead of you. I was courageous enough to see The Truth and to embrace it. YOU weren’t.
MIKEY: Whatever happens during our match, even if I leave on a stretcher, there will still be a smile on my face. Because, although you won’t admit it, I’m inside your head. I’m helping you to get to The Truth.
MIKEY: Rocko Daymon, win or lose this insignificant wrestling match, in the things that really matter, I’ve already won…
[Mikey drags his fingers across his throat, signalling the camerman to... FADEOUT.]
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