TBirdSCIL
League Member
All RP for this card goes here...
Martial Law vs. The Spider Murphy Experience
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
S
Showtime
Guest
Scene opens in a hotel near Hammond, IN. Spider Murphy and "Bollywood" Rahul Seth enter the lobby. Rahul is carrying all of the luggage. Spider just looks around.
Spider: Ah, Indiana! The "Show Me" State!
Rahul: Ah, I think that's Missouri, Spider.
Spider: Silence, foreigner! I think I know my home country better than you, you illegal immigrant.
Rahul: Um, I'm here as a landed immigrant, remember?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't care for your communist propaganda. We've got business, because we've got a fight against...
Rahul: Martial Law...
Spider: Right! Arsenio Hall and that Chinese fellow... hm, that explains where that show went. They didn't take it off the air, they just took it on the road. No matter, because if I wanted to see Arsenio Hall, I'd just watch Fastlane, airing Fridays at 9 on Fox.
Rahul: Actually, that's Bill Bellamy.
Spider: Hahaha, I've got you now, my incompetant foreign friend! Bill Bellamy has been dead for years!
Rahul: What? What are you talking about?
Spider: You fool, can't you see that you know nothing of American Pop Culture? Bill Bellamy has been dead for years, he died of Prostate cancer ten years ago!
Rahul: Listen, Spider, I don't know who you think--
Spider: Remember? He was on The Incredible Hulk? Duh?
Rahul: Actually, that was... ah, forget it.
Spider: Quiet! I need to think. So, we're up against Jackie Chan and Arsenio Hall. Now, Bolly, you're Chinese, right? What tricks can I expect from Jackie Chan?
Rahul: Spider! Come on, don't you know anything?? You are a complete idiot! I can't stand you anymore!
Spider: ...so... can he disappear, or what?
Rahul: Arrgh! (Rahul throws down all the luggage.) I'll be in the room!
Rahul Storms off
Spider: DAMMIT, SABU! YOU DROPPED THE BAGS!
Fade out
Spider: Ah, Indiana! The "Show Me" State!
Rahul: Ah, I think that's Missouri, Spider.
Spider: Silence, foreigner! I think I know my home country better than you, you illegal immigrant.
Rahul: Um, I'm here as a landed immigrant, remember?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't care for your communist propaganda. We've got business, because we've got a fight against...
Rahul: Martial Law...
Spider: Right! Arsenio Hall and that Chinese fellow... hm, that explains where that show went. They didn't take it off the air, they just took it on the road. No matter, because if I wanted to see Arsenio Hall, I'd just watch Fastlane, airing Fridays at 9 on Fox.
Rahul: Actually, that's Bill Bellamy.
Spider: Hahaha, I've got you now, my incompetant foreign friend! Bill Bellamy has been dead for years!
Rahul: What? What are you talking about?
Spider: You fool, can't you see that you know nothing of American Pop Culture? Bill Bellamy has been dead for years, he died of Prostate cancer ten years ago!
Rahul: Listen, Spider, I don't know who you think--
Spider: Remember? He was on The Incredible Hulk? Duh?
Rahul: Actually, that was... ah, forget it.
Spider: Quiet! I need to think. So, we're up against Jackie Chan and Arsenio Hall. Now, Bolly, you're Chinese, right? What tricks can I expect from Jackie Chan?
Rahul: Spider! Come on, don't you know anything?? You are a complete idiot! I can't stand you anymore!
Spider: ...so... can he disappear, or what?
Rahul: Arrgh! (Rahul throws down all the luggage.) I'll be in the room!
Rahul Storms off
Spider: DAMMIT, SABU! YOU DROPPED THE BAGS!
Fade out
R
RYoungblood
Guest
(Camera fades into the Indianapolis International Airport where Ryan Youngblood and Steve Slayer are walking through an empty terminal at about three in the morning..)
Steve Slayer: Bro, why are we here so damn early?
Ryan Youngblood: I told you already-- about five times. We're here to promote the event. To all the-- GREAT FANS OF INDIANAPOLIS..
SS: Why you looking for a cheap pop? There's no-one here to give it to you.
RYB: I guess you're right. Anyway, we got some autograph signings coming up so lets get this over with.
SS: Let's get what over with?!
RYB: We're scheduled for a match at the next house show.. Thats why were here?
SS: Ohhhh yeah.. Who're we fighting again?
RYB: The Spider Murphy Experience..
SS: Haha, never heard of 'em.
RYB: They're apparently some washed up tag-team who've come here to retire. Well, we're going to make it so they can leave the GLCW early-- on disability.
SS: Why are they comparing us to two television characters?
RYB: There was an old show called "Martial Law" and he's comparing us to them.
SS: Yeah, so what? Two cops who kicked ass and took names? The only difference is that we're not cops.. We just kick ass and take names.
RYB: Exactly. It's good to be back in a city like Indianapolis, and I can't wait to get to Hammond! Stepping back into a ring.. It's only been a month since we last wrestled. But I swear to god, it feels like a year.
SS: You're telling me. It's going to be great getting back into the ring. But, I feel unlucky for the Spider Murphy Experience..
RYB: Yeah, take my advice you two. Don't show up. If you guys get the balls to actually show up then I'd make reservations for a hospital room- you two are gonna need it when we're through. Once you feel the pain of the blood drive---
SS: -- and the license to kill!!
RYB: You will never be the same again. And, in the end- you're gonna see how damn pathetic you really are. And, (laughing) after our match, the word pain will have a whole new meaning.
(Camera fades out as Ryan and Steve take their luggage from the baggage claim and leave the airport..)
Steve Slayer: Bro, why are we here so damn early?
Ryan Youngblood: I told you already-- about five times. We're here to promote the event. To all the-- GREAT FANS OF INDIANAPOLIS..
SS: Why you looking for a cheap pop? There's no-one here to give it to you.
RYB: I guess you're right. Anyway, we got some autograph signings coming up so lets get this over with.
SS: Let's get what over with?!
RYB: We're scheduled for a match at the next house show.. Thats why were here?
SS: Ohhhh yeah.. Who're we fighting again?
RYB: The Spider Murphy Experience..
SS: Haha, never heard of 'em.
RYB: They're apparently some washed up tag-team who've come here to retire. Well, we're going to make it so they can leave the GLCW early-- on disability.
SS: Why are they comparing us to two television characters?
RYB: There was an old show called "Martial Law" and he's comparing us to them.
SS: Yeah, so what? Two cops who kicked ass and took names? The only difference is that we're not cops.. We just kick ass and take names.
RYB: Exactly. It's good to be back in a city like Indianapolis, and I can't wait to get to Hammond! Stepping back into a ring.. It's only been a month since we last wrestled. But I swear to god, it feels like a year.
SS: You're telling me. It's going to be great getting back into the ring. But, I feel unlucky for the Spider Murphy Experience..
RYB: Yeah, take my advice you two. Don't show up. If you guys get the balls to actually show up then I'd make reservations for a hospital room- you two are gonna need it when we're through. Once you feel the pain of the blood drive---
SS: -- and the license to kill!!
RYB: You will never be the same again. And, in the end- you're gonna see how damn pathetic you really are. And, (laughing) after our match, the word pain will have a whole new meaning.
(Camera fades out as Ryan and Steve take their luggage from the baggage claim and leave the airport..)
S
Showtime
Guest
SME: Storm's a-brewin...
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jan-24-03 AT 03:49 PM (EST)]Scene opens in the Spider Murphy Experience's hotel room. Spidey is pacing around and "Bollywood" Rahul Seth is resting on the bed. Spider lights up a cigarette.
Spidey: Grr! I'm enraged, Rajah!
Rahul: Why's that, Spidey?
Spidey: Don't call me that! You know how I hate terms of endearment!
Rahul: Sorry... Spider.
Spider: Warmer...
Rahul: Um... Mr. Murphy?
Spidey: That'll do for now.
An awkward silence.
Spidey: Well?
Rahul: "Well" what?
Spidey: Didn't you have an inquiry of some sort as to the specifics of my previous statement?
Rahul: Oh, yes... "Why's That, Mr. Murphy?"
Spider: I'm glad you asked, Hadji. I'm enraged because our esteemed opponents are likening us to some... some jobbers! Some massively incompetant greenhorn hacks who can't hack it in the wrestling "biz!" Do you know how that makes me feel, to have our esteemed opponenets refer to me that way?
Rahul: Wow, that's uncharacteristically kind of you to refer to them as "esteemed."
Spider: Did I say "esteemed?" 'Cause what I meant was "esteeming pile of crap!" Ahahahahaha!
Rahul: Oh... I get it.
Spider: Yeah, it's a pun, Paki.
Rahul: Yes, I get it.
Spider: I hate puns. The point, of course, is what to do? We could gut them with hooks, or give them some other sort of... "accident."
Rahul: Spider, come on... that's quite drastic.
Spider: It's never too drastic, you ignorant whimpering simpleton! Hey, that was a Haiku!
Rahul: Not quite, you're one syllable off.
Spider flicks his lit cigarette at Rahul.
Spider: It is never too drastic, you ignorant, whimpering simpleton!
Rahul: Um... better.
Spider: That's what I thought. See, here's the game plan. We... defeat them... using our wrestling tactics.
Rahul: That's... a plan, Spider?
Spider delivers a backhand to Rahul.
Spider: Dammit, Sammo! We have our dignity at stake here, and you're babbling about semantics!
Rahul: True enough... you're right.
Spider delivers another backhand to Rahul.
Spider: Dammit Djibouti! This is important!
Rahul: I agreed with you!
Spider kicks Rahul in the shin.
Spider: Pull yourself together, man! We've got important business to attend! Now, the only way to defeat Martial Law... is to become Martial Law... and be a better version of them than the originals! Yes, it can be done! Don't you see, man?! This is who we are! This is what we are, and the very essence of our beings could be lost if we don't take our boots, and shove them squarely down their throats! Are you with me?!
Rahul: Yeah!
Spider punches Rahul in the face.
Spider: Good! Let's get to work.
Iris out.
I am Showtime... all who look upon me go "Hi, Showtime!"
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jan-24-03 AT 03:49 PM (EST)]Scene opens in the Spider Murphy Experience's hotel room. Spidey is pacing around and "Bollywood" Rahul Seth is resting on the bed. Spider lights up a cigarette.
Spidey: Grr! I'm enraged, Rajah!
Rahul: Why's that, Spidey?
Spidey: Don't call me that! You know how I hate terms of endearment!
Rahul: Sorry... Spider.
Spider: Warmer...
Rahul: Um... Mr. Murphy?
Spidey: That'll do for now.
An awkward silence.
Spidey: Well?
Rahul: "Well" what?
Spidey: Didn't you have an inquiry of some sort as to the specifics of my previous statement?
Rahul: Oh, yes... "Why's That, Mr. Murphy?"
Spider: I'm glad you asked, Hadji. I'm enraged because our esteemed opponents are likening us to some... some jobbers! Some massively incompetant greenhorn hacks who can't hack it in the wrestling "biz!" Do you know how that makes me feel, to have our esteemed opponenets refer to me that way?
Rahul: Wow, that's uncharacteristically kind of you to refer to them as "esteemed."
Spider: Did I say "esteemed?" 'Cause what I meant was "esteeming pile of crap!" Ahahahahaha!
Rahul: Oh... I get it.
Spider: Yeah, it's a pun, Paki.
Rahul: Yes, I get it.
Spider: I hate puns. The point, of course, is what to do? We could gut them with hooks, or give them some other sort of... "accident."
Rahul: Spider, come on... that's quite drastic.
Spider: It's never too drastic, you ignorant whimpering simpleton! Hey, that was a Haiku!
Rahul: Not quite, you're one syllable off.
Spider flicks his lit cigarette at Rahul.
Spider: It is never too drastic, you ignorant, whimpering simpleton!
Rahul: Um... better.
Spider: That's what I thought. See, here's the game plan. We... defeat them... using our wrestling tactics.
Rahul: That's... a plan, Spider?
Spider delivers a backhand to Rahul.
Spider: Dammit, Sammo! We have our dignity at stake here, and you're babbling about semantics!
Rahul: True enough... you're right.
Spider delivers another backhand to Rahul.
Spider: Dammit Djibouti! This is important!
Rahul: I agreed with you!
Spider kicks Rahul in the shin.
Spider: Pull yourself together, man! We've got important business to attend! Now, the only way to defeat Martial Law... is to become Martial Law... and be a better version of them than the originals! Yes, it can be done! Don't you see, man?! This is who we are! This is what we are, and the very essence of our beings could be lost if we don't take our boots, and shove them squarely down their throats! Are you with me?!
Rahul: Yeah!
Spider punches Rahul in the face.
Spider: Good! Let's get to work.
Iris out.
I am Showtime... all who look upon me go "Hi, Showtime!"
S
Showtime
Guest
SME: Fightin Words
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jan-28-03 AT 11:29 PM (EST)]Viva los Spider Murphy Experience.
Spider: Hear ye, hear ye, Martial Law...yers. I AM SPIDER MURPHY! Living ledgend of the East Coast? You ever been to the east coast, chumly? Ask anyone there about me. Ask Stephen King in Maine, or Perry Robbin in Connecticut. Ask Sam Malone in Boston, or Lindz in Rhode Island! They'll tell you the same, that Spider Murphy is the baddest ##### to ever hail from the east! Don't believe me? Well that's fine! Maybe THIS FOOTAGE will change your mind?
Goes to a 5 second clip of a man being gored by a bull at Pamplona, Spain.
Spider: A-Ha! Do you see the carnage that only the Spider Muprhy Experience can bring?! Did you see me gore that guy?! Hell yeah you did, and I gored him good, and that's what I'm going to do to you! Why do I want this? BEcause I like to fight! I'll get drunk any day and fight the bathroom stall until my knuckles bleed, then I'll go to the sink, rinse them off, and beat the hell outta the bathroom stall again! That's how much I love to fight, you sons of #####! And I've fought some pretty damn tough bathroom stalls in my day and my day ain't done! Know what else? I had sex with your wives, mothers and daughters! Yeah! Knoww ho I hate? Fithly savages like you who come in and run your mouths like you do and don't give a damn about the fight! Come on over to the ring and we'll see, hooo boy, we'll see, cause when the dust clears... and get a closeup on me... when the-- GET A CLOSEUP ON ME DAMMIT!
Push in on Spider's face
Spider: When the dust clears, hoo boy... you'll see Spider Murphy standing over your defeated body, and he'll say, "You ain't know bathroom stall, boy!" HOOO YEAH! So shine up your boots, and wax your tights, because the man is back, and he's got Babu with him! YEAH!!
Fade out.
Recap
If you don't hate Spider Murphy by now, gosh darn it you ought to.
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jan-28-03 AT 11:29 PM (EST)]Viva los Spider Murphy Experience.
Spider: Hear ye, hear ye, Martial Law...yers. I AM SPIDER MURPHY! Living ledgend of the East Coast? You ever been to the east coast, chumly? Ask anyone there about me. Ask Stephen King in Maine, or Perry Robbin in Connecticut. Ask Sam Malone in Boston, or Lindz in Rhode Island! They'll tell you the same, that Spider Murphy is the baddest ##### to ever hail from the east! Don't believe me? Well that's fine! Maybe THIS FOOTAGE will change your mind?
Goes to a 5 second clip of a man being gored by a bull at Pamplona, Spain.
Spider: A-Ha! Do you see the carnage that only the Spider Muprhy Experience can bring?! Did you see me gore that guy?! Hell yeah you did, and I gored him good, and that's what I'm going to do to you! Why do I want this? BEcause I like to fight! I'll get drunk any day and fight the bathroom stall until my knuckles bleed, then I'll go to the sink, rinse them off, and beat the hell outta the bathroom stall again! That's how much I love to fight, you sons of #####! And I've fought some pretty damn tough bathroom stalls in my day and my day ain't done! Know what else? I had sex with your wives, mothers and daughters! Yeah! Knoww ho I hate? Fithly savages like you who come in and run your mouths like you do and don't give a damn about the fight! Come on over to the ring and we'll see, hooo boy, we'll see, cause when the dust clears... and get a closeup on me... when the-- GET A CLOSEUP ON ME DAMMIT!
Push in on Spider's face
Spider: When the dust clears, hoo boy... you'll see Spider Murphy standing over your defeated body, and he'll say, "You ain't know bathroom stall, boy!" HOOO YEAH! So shine up your boots, and wax your tights, because the man is back, and he's got Babu with him! YEAH!!
Fade out.
Recap
If you don't hate Spider Murphy by now, gosh darn it you ought to.