TBirdSCIL
League Member
Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...
MAIN EVENT: Maelstrom vs. The Cannonball Kidd
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
J
JLebron
Guest
The need to know.....
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-14-03 AT 02:09 AM (EST)](FADE IN: .... to the sounds of inaudible whispers and conversations.....
CUTTO: .... the image of the man we've come to know simply as Maelstrom sitting upon a bench, his chin supported by his fists as he leans over resting his elbows upon his knees. At his feet lays the GLCW Heavyweight Title. He seems to be lost in thought, oblivious of his surroundings..... oblivious of the passerbyers who slow their pace to get a better glimpse of him..... oblivious of those who recognize the Pandorian warrior and stop to stare..... oblivious of the crowd that seems to be gathering, albeit at a distance...... oblivious of everything, or at least so it seems as he shifts his gaze and casually glares at the curious crowd.... regarding them only momentarily before he begins to speak......)
MAELSTROM: The need to know..... (pauses).... oblivious to some, dormant instincts in others. Indiscriminately rewarding some an' punishing others.
(glares at the crowd and points in their direction)
MAELSTROM: It does nothin' for them though..... observin' from a safe distance tends to do that ya see..... no risk involved. Ya see, their curiosity isn't peaked, it's only "teased". (shakes his head slowly from side to side) Nope, no consequences for the meek..... consequences, hell, those are reserved for the risk takers. Those who push the envelope.....
(smiles to himself faintly)
MAELSTROM: For those who seek to breach an impasse. The need to know can be a powerful ally Kidd...... just the same, it can also be a formidable enemy. Do ya REALLY need to know what it's like to endure the fury that now awaits ya? Do ya REALLY need to know if ya can be one of those RARE men who've actually measured up? Or are ya wide eyed an' surprised 'bout gettin' this title shot? Do ya really think that yer lil' self-actualization or awareness program will actually MAKE ya more aware of what ya REALLY need to know?
(without warning, Maelstrom suddenly sits up and the crowd reacts by taking a few steps back. He regards them stoically but pays them no mind as he continues to speak.....)
MAELSTROM: That thirst for knowledge, for awareness will hinder yer progress while ya wet yer appetite, feastin' on facades. Ironic how ya push that self-actualization farce, yet you yerself are livin' in denial. Yer direction is aimless Kidd, as is yer purpose. An' THAT Kidd, like it or not, is something YOU need to know.....
(Maelstrom leans back, a faint smile curling upon his lips as he watches the crowd of people entertaining their need to know from a distance, whispering and conversing inaudibly once again as we...... FADE OUT.....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-14-03 AT 02:09 AM (EST)](FADE IN: .... to the sounds of inaudible whispers and conversations.....
CUTTO: .... the image of the man we've come to know simply as Maelstrom sitting upon a bench, his chin supported by his fists as he leans over resting his elbows upon his knees. At his feet lays the GLCW Heavyweight Title. He seems to be lost in thought, oblivious of his surroundings..... oblivious of the passerbyers who slow their pace to get a better glimpse of him..... oblivious of those who recognize the Pandorian warrior and stop to stare..... oblivious of the crowd that seems to be gathering, albeit at a distance...... oblivious of everything, or at least so it seems as he shifts his gaze and casually glares at the curious crowd.... regarding them only momentarily before he begins to speak......)
MAELSTROM: The need to know..... (pauses).... oblivious to some, dormant instincts in others. Indiscriminately rewarding some an' punishing others.
(glares at the crowd and points in their direction)
MAELSTROM: It does nothin' for them though..... observin' from a safe distance tends to do that ya see..... no risk involved. Ya see, their curiosity isn't peaked, it's only "teased". (shakes his head slowly from side to side) Nope, no consequences for the meek..... consequences, hell, those are reserved for the risk takers. Those who push the envelope.....
(smiles to himself faintly)
MAELSTROM: For those who seek to breach an impasse. The need to know can be a powerful ally Kidd...... just the same, it can also be a formidable enemy. Do ya REALLY need to know what it's like to endure the fury that now awaits ya? Do ya REALLY need to know if ya can be one of those RARE men who've actually measured up? Or are ya wide eyed an' surprised 'bout gettin' this title shot? Do ya really think that yer lil' self-actualization or awareness program will actually MAKE ya more aware of what ya REALLY need to know?
(without warning, Maelstrom suddenly sits up and the crowd reacts by taking a few steps back. He regards them stoically but pays them no mind as he continues to speak.....)
MAELSTROM: That thirst for knowledge, for awareness will hinder yer progress while ya wet yer appetite, feastin' on facades. Ironic how ya push that self-actualization farce, yet you yerself are livin' in denial. Yer direction is aimless Kidd, as is yer purpose. An' THAT Kidd, like it or not, is something YOU need to know.....
(Maelstrom leans back, a faint smile curling upon his lips as he watches the crowd of people entertaining their need to know from a distance, whispering and conversing inaudibly once again as we...... FADE OUT.....)
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
Also a bad Marc Anthony song
(Cueup: "I Believe I Can Fly" by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Maelstrom...wow. One of the most dominating superstars in this business. And given the turbulent nature of many of the leagues he's been in, that's saying something. It takes a lot of factors to beat the guy...more than I care to name at this time. A lot of people have thought they could do it of course, and almost all of them have failed. Overconfidence is a killer against Maelstrom, no doubt about it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: And as such, overconfidence is something I will strive to, over all things, avoid when I battle Maelstrom for the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title at Riptide. Even the self-actualized need to watch out for potential slipups, you know - we'll never claim to be perfect. I'm still prone to error...not as prone to it as most other people, but still prone to it. So believe you me, if I'm going to claim that I can bring Maelstrom down at Riptide and claim that Great Lakes Heavyweight Title, you'd better be sure that I mean it.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: And so, I say to you now with the greatest of confidence that come Riptide, my true day in the GLCW sun will finally come when I take GLCW's most coveted title away from the man no one else can seem to beat. Why do I say this? Is it because my confidence in my abilities is so strong that I think my beast of an opponent doesn't stand a chance? Maybe. To me, that would be a compelling argument. But to most of the superstars in the GLCW locker room, more proof would be necessary. It's no secret that much of the GLCW roster does not understand my Message, and as a result, many find it difficult to trust me.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball from the torso up)
Cannonball Kidd: That's unfortunate. But if my word alone is not enough to inspire others to believe in me, I can find another way to show that I am just the man to bring down Maelstrom. That proof is in the way that the GLCW has handled me on the past few cards. I've picked up a huge win over a rival on pay-per-view. I was granted a shot at the Television Title against Jarod Poe, but much to my misfortune, Poe lost the title to "Stupendous" Stephen Morgan before he our match, so my victory over Poe on Wired will not yield a belt. And of course, I was entered in that eight-man battle royal for a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title. Now, as everyone saw, I didn't win that battle royal, but I think it's clear as day that, had the playing field been level, I would have come out the winner.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: I mean, the rules clearly stated that this was a STANDARD battle royal, not a TIMED one. And as such, the action should not have started until all eight men were in the ring, but Nemesis decided to do things his own way and attack me after I was the first person to come to the ring. So I definitely showed far more perserverence in that match than did eventual winner Anarky, who not-so-coincidentally was the LAST man to come to the ring, and even needed some interference on the part of my Riptide opponent to get to that point.
(Cannonball laughs heartily and overdramatically)
Cannonball Kidd: But don't mistake any of that for complaint - just take it for what it is, a mere observation. Because the GLCW executives did not let my courageous performance go unnoticed - in fact, realizing the injustice that took place in the battle royal, they decided to give me a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title RIGHT AWAY - before Anarky even gets his! I'd absolutely HATE to seem like some sort of brown-noser, and I hope no one will interpret things that way, but those executives are clearly some VERY intelligent individuals.
(Cannonball raises an index finger as though pointing out something extremely important)
Cannonball Kidd: So you see, I'm not the only one with the confidence that I can win this match. The executives here clearly realize that if any force in GLCW can oppose the brute strength of Maelstrom, it is my Message. And since one of those in power is King Krusher, a man who knows Maelstrom's strengths and weaknesses perhaps more than anyone else in this business...well, maybe people will be more willing to take his word than mine.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Maelstrom, so far, has provided nothing but the same old "your Message is a sham" routine, and since I've refuted that argument countless times in the past, I don't think I really need to respond to it again. And since my Message tonight has dealt mainly with the overwhelming evidence supporting my eventual victory in this match, and loss is a concept so foreign and frightening to Maelstrom, I don't think I need to delve into his psyche just yet.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: But make no mistake, Maelstrom, I am analyzing you even as I speak tonight. You'll have your opportunity to benefit from my Message, just as everyone else has. You may consider me nothing more than another notch on that Great Lakes Heavyweight Title belt, Maelstrom, but I'm much, much more than that...I'm a Man...
(Zoom in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "I Believe I Can Fly" by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Maelstrom...wow. One of the most dominating superstars in this business. And given the turbulent nature of many of the leagues he's been in, that's saying something. It takes a lot of factors to beat the guy...more than I care to name at this time. A lot of people have thought they could do it of course, and almost all of them have failed. Overconfidence is a killer against Maelstrom, no doubt about it.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: And as such, overconfidence is something I will strive to, over all things, avoid when I battle Maelstrom for the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title at Riptide. Even the self-actualized need to watch out for potential slipups, you know - we'll never claim to be perfect. I'm still prone to error...not as prone to it as most other people, but still prone to it. So believe you me, if I'm going to claim that I can bring Maelstrom down at Riptide and claim that Great Lakes Heavyweight Title, you'd better be sure that I mean it.
(Cannonball grins)
Cannonball Kidd: And so, I say to you now with the greatest of confidence that come Riptide, my true day in the GLCW sun will finally come when I take GLCW's most coveted title away from the man no one else can seem to beat. Why do I say this? Is it because my confidence in my abilities is so strong that I think my beast of an opponent doesn't stand a chance? Maybe. To me, that would be a compelling argument. But to most of the superstars in the GLCW locker room, more proof would be necessary. It's no secret that much of the GLCW roster does not understand my Message, and as a result, many find it difficult to trust me.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball from the torso up)
Cannonball Kidd: That's unfortunate. But if my word alone is not enough to inspire others to believe in me, I can find another way to show that I am just the man to bring down Maelstrom. That proof is in the way that the GLCW has handled me on the past few cards. I've picked up a huge win over a rival on pay-per-view. I was granted a shot at the Television Title against Jarod Poe, but much to my misfortune, Poe lost the title to "Stupendous" Stephen Morgan before he our match, so my victory over Poe on Wired will not yield a belt. And of course, I was entered in that eight-man battle royal for a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title. Now, as everyone saw, I didn't win that battle royal, but I think it's clear as day that, had the playing field been level, I would have come out the winner.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: I mean, the rules clearly stated that this was a STANDARD battle royal, not a TIMED one. And as such, the action should not have started until all eight men were in the ring, but Nemesis decided to do things his own way and attack me after I was the first person to come to the ring. So I definitely showed far more perserverence in that match than did eventual winner Anarky, who not-so-coincidentally was the LAST man to come to the ring, and even needed some interference on the part of my Riptide opponent to get to that point.
(Cannonball laughs heartily and overdramatically)
Cannonball Kidd: But don't mistake any of that for complaint - just take it for what it is, a mere observation. Because the GLCW executives did not let my courageous performance go unnoticed - in fact, realizing the injustice that took place in the battle royal, they decided to give me a shot at the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title RIGHT AWAY - before Anarky even gets his! I'd absolutely HATE to seem like some sort of brown-noser, and I hope no one will interpret things that way, but those executives are clearly some VERY intelligent individuals.
(Cannonball raises an index finger as though pointing out something extremely important)
Cannonball Kidd: So you see, I'm not the only one with the confidence that I can win this match. The executives here clearly realize that if any force in GLCW can oppose the brute strength of Maelstrom, it is my Message. And since one of those in power is King Krusher, a man who knows Maelstrom's strengths and weaknesses perhaps more than anyone else in this business...well, maybe people will be more willing to take his word than mine.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Maelstrom, so far, has provided nothing but the same old "your Message is a sham" routine, and since I've refuted that argument countless times in the past, I don't think I really need to respond to it again. And since my Message tonight has dealt mainly with the overwhelming evidence supporting my eventual victory in this match, and loss is a concept so foreign and frightening to Maelstrom, I don't think I need to delve into his psyche just yet.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: But make no mistake, Maelstrom, I am analyzing you even as I speak tonight. You'll have your opportunity to benefit from my Message, just as everyone else has. You may consider me nothing more than another notch on that Great Lakes Heavyweight Title belt, Maelstrom, but I'm much, much more than that...I'm a Man...
(Zoom in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
J
JLebron
Guest
Message in a bottle
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-16-03 AT 01:51 PM (EST)](FADE IN: ..... to a split screen where we see two mirrored photos of Maelstrom lounging on a chaise in some office. Below the still photos we see a single scrolling line of red text which reads:
[marquee behavior=alternate]
After a few moments, the still photos converge and begins to materialize and before our eyes turns into a live shot. He glances directly at us and begins to speak......)
MAELSTROM: It's never quite 'nuff is it? The propaganda..... the facades..... the head games? No matter how ya dress it up, it's still the same old tired lines. No false gimmicks, no false hype...... time to rage..... I'll succeed where everyone else failed..... you've never come across someone like me..... I'm the best damn wrestler in the world.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: I've always marveled somewhat at guys like Manson.... guys like Morgan.... guys like Ash..... guys like Nevada.... guys like YOU Kidd! Not for the reasons that you'd like to believe though, but more outta sheer amazement that guys like you may actually believe the claims yer manure-facturin'. That ya feel the need to beat on yer chest so adamantly.... so loudly, as if yer outta earshot range. All the more exposin' just how lil' faith ya really have in yer own words..... all the more exposin' just how insecure ya really are. Ya perform on the stage an' offer us a glimpse as ya talk outta both sides of yer mouth, creatin' yer own double exposure.....
(Maelstrom turns his glance away from us and as he does so, it materializes back into the original mirrored photos of him lounging on the chaise with the scrolling text of "Double Exposure" underneath it. That soon fades out and when we return we see yet another still photo of a Budweiser bottle bobbing around in a body of water with a piece of paper stuffed halfway down the bottle's neck. There's a single scrolling line of red text above the photo which reads:
[marquee behavior=alternate]
Moments later the photo transforms and becomes live. The bottle dances drunkenly on the water's surface until suddenly a hand reaches out and snatches it from the water. As the camera pulls back, we see Maelstrom kneeling over the edge of a pier, retreiving the bottle. He examines it for a few seconds then smiles ever so faintly as he places the bottle down next to him and sits on the edge of the pier....)
MAELSTROM: Kidd, ya speak of not makin' the mistake that others have made 'gainst me.... of approachin' me with an overconfident frame of mind, yet here YOU are, practically guaranteein' victory already? (chuckles to himself) Not a very convincin' way to get yer message across now is it? What makes ya think that you'll fare any better than everyone else before ya? Surely they thought as you did.... surely their skills were as honed as yers, if not more. Do ya REALLY think that this self-actualization program of yers is gonna give ya an edge here?
(begins laughing)
MAELSTROM: Kidd, ya claim that you've been analyzing me, apparently studying me, but it appears that yer not very meticulous when it comes to pickin' up on details. Ya see Kidd, I've been into self-awareness, 'bout bein' in tune with myself LOOOOONG before ya ever decided to employ it as a ruse. Hell, ya can even say I've been into it LONG before ya even started in this business. Ya see, ya only preach self-awareness, ya don't practice it. Me? Hell, I leave preachin' for guys like you who try to lead the blind but have no sense of insight themselves. I breached my first impasse LOOONG ago in New Japan, but it hasn't stopped there...... it never does.
(pauses to glance at the bottle with the paper still stuffed halfway down it's neck)
MAELSTROM: Ya probably have no clue as to what I'm alluding to 'bout impasses an' breachin' them, an' that wouldn't surprise me cuz most don't. An' if ya don't, then it just goes to prove my claim that yer lil' self-actualization program is nothin' more than a farce. The toughest challenge anyone can face isn't in the ring Kidd, it's standin' up to yer fears. Insecurities are impossible to shield, they have a brilliance all their own, an' they shine the brightest through a forked tongue. But it's not a total loss for ya, cuz I DO believe ya when ya say that yer a man with a message......
(smiles)
MAELSTROM: Yer message however, much like the one in this bottle, is trapped inside ya an' represents nothin' more than a simple S.O.S. signal.....
(Maelstrom grabs the bottle and tosses it back into the water. It sinks out of view momentarily then rises back up to the surface, bobbing wildly until the frame suddenly freezes and we're back to the original still photo of the bottle in the water with its accompany text, "Message In A Bottle". Moments later, we...... FADE OUT.....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-16-03 AT 01:51 PM (EST)](FADE IN: ..... to a split screen where we see two mirrored photos of Maelstrom lounging on a chaise in some office. Below the still photos we see a single scrolling line of red text which reads:
[marquee behavior=alternate]
[font color=red] DOUBLE EXPOSURE [/font]
[/marquee]After a few moments, the still photos converge and begins to materialize and before our eyes turns into a live shot. He glances directly at us and begins to speak......)
MAELSTROM: It's never quite 'nuff is it? The propaganda..... the facades..... the head games? No matter how ya dress it up, it's still the same old tired lines. No false gimmicks, no false hype...... time to rage..... I'll succeed where everyone else failed..... you've never come across someone like me..... I'm the best damn wrestler in the world.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: I've always marveled somewhat at guys like Manson.... guys like Morgan.... guys like Ash..... guys like Nevada.... guys like YOU Kidd! Not for the reasons that you'd like to believe though, but more outta sheer amazement that guys like you may actually believe the claims yer manure-facturin'. That ya feel the need to beat on yer chest so adamantly.... so loudly, as if yer outta earshot range. All the more exposin' just how lil' faith ya really have in yer own words..... all the more exposin' just how insecure ya really are. Ya perform on the stage an' offer us a glimpse as ya talk outta both sides of yer mouth, creatin' yer own double exposure.....
(Maelstrom turns his glance away from us and as he does so, it materializes back into the original mirrored photos of him lounging on the chaise with the scrolling text of "Double Exposure" underneath it. That soon fades out and when we return we see yet another still photo of a Budweiser bottle bobbing around in a body of water with a piece of paper stuffed halfway down the bottle's neck. There's a single scrolling line of red text above the photo which reads:
[marquee behavior=alternate]
[FONT COLOR=RED] MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE [/FONT]
[/marquee]Moments later the photo transforms and becomes live. The bottle dances drunkenly on the water's surface until suddenly a hand reaches out and snatches it from the water. As the camera pulls back, we see Maelstrom kneeling over the edge of a pier, retreiving the bottle. He examines it for a few seconds then smiles ever so faintly as he places the bottle down next to him and sits on the edge of the pier....)
MAELSTROM: Kidd, ya speak of not makin' the mistake that others have made 'gainst me.... of approachin' me with an overconfident frame of mind, yet here YOU are, practically guaranteein' victory already? (chuckles to himself) Not a very convincin' way to get yer message across now is it? What makes ya think that you'll fare any better than everyone else before ya? Surely they thought as you did.... surely their skills were as honed as yers, if not more. Do ya REALLY think that this self-actualization program of yers is gonna give ya an edge here?
(begins laughing)
MAELSTROM: Kidd, ya claim that you've been analyzing me, apparently studying me, but it appears that yer not very meticulous when it comes to pickin' up on details. Ya see Kidd, I've been into self-awareness, 'bout bein' in tune with myself LOOOOONG before ya ever decided to employ it as a ruse. Hell, ya can even say I've been into it LONG before ya even started in this business. Ya see, ya only preach self-awareness, ya don't practice it. Me? Hell, I leave preachin' for guys like you who try to lead the blind but have no sense of insight themselves. I breached my first impasse LOOONG ago in New Japan, but it hasn't stopped there...... it never does.
(pauses to glance at the bottle with the paper still stuffed halfway down it's neck)
MAELSTROM: Ya probably have no clue as to what I'm alluding to 'bout impasses an' breachin' them, an' that wouldn't surprise me cuz most don't. An' if ya don't, then it just goes to prove my claim that yer lil' self-actualization program is nothin' more than a farce. The toughest challenge anyone can face isn't in the ring Kidd, it's standin' up to yer fears. Insecurities are impossible to shield, they have a brilliance all their own, an' they shine the brightest through a forked tongue. But it's not a total loss for ya, cuz I DO believe ya when ya say that yer a man with a message......
(smiles)
MAELSTROM: Yer message however, much like the one in this bottle, is trapped inside ya an' represents nothin' more than a simple S.O.S. signal.....
(Maelstrom grabs the bottle and tosses it back into the water. It sinks out of view momentarily then rises back up to the surface, bobbing wildly until the frame suddenly freezes and we're back to the original still photo of the bottle in the water with its accompany text, "Message In A Bottle". Moments later, we...... FADE OUT.....)
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
That one's an oldie, I think
(Cueup: "So Far Away" by Staind)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: You know, Maelstrom, I have to admit it. As you know, my mission here in GLCW has been to enlighten as many people as possible to the path of self-actualization. And as such, the best opportunities are the ones where my opponent is in desperate need of my help. So logic would suggest that the best situation for me would be one in which it becomes apparent that you need my help.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's full face)
Cannonball Kidd: But deep down, I don't know if I was hoping that. Your name has been thrown around everywhere as one of the best in the business, and since Michael Manson disappointed me by not being self-actualized when I thought he might be, I thought that at the very least ONE other person in GLCW would be self-actualized. And you, Maelstrom, would be the most likely candidate. I admit it - I was hoping you might have some degree of self-actualization...I knew it wouldn't even be close to mine, but at least it would give you some understanding of my Message.
(He shakes his head sadly)
Cannonball Kidd: But no, it was not to be. After your last promo, it became painfully clear to me that you're just as much in need of my help as everyone else in GLCW. More so than a lot of them, in fact. You've spent so long believing that you're the standard by which everyone should be judged that you can't even see how ridiculous the things you say and do have become. It's rare to see a man who has mutated into a giant clichè, but you pull it off, Maelstrom.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball from the torso up)
Cannonball Kidd: And the painful irony of that is that in your last promo, part of your message was that everyone uses the "same old tired lines." Yet look at some of the things you said. Attacking catch phrases, claiming everyone else is insecure, discrediting my Message when in reality you just don't understand it, even citing your own zen-like self-awareness while simultaneously talking about how little it means...you know who you sound like, Maelstrom? I'll give you a few seconds to think about it before I give it away...you're a smart guy, right? You should be able to figure it out.
(Cannonball pauses for a moment to look at his watch, but he isn't wearing a watch so he just stares at his wrist for a few seconds)
Cannonball Kidd: Answer: Every other opponent I've had since I made my GLCW debut. Nemesis, Tact, Poe, Wells...pretty much everyone except "Showtime" Steven James, whom we might as well not count. I try and try and try to convince them that going through the same tired motions won't help get their point across, but no one listens. Pretty much the only thing that set your latest promo apart, Maelstrom, was the fancy scrolling text, and even THAT'S been done to death in this business too.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, I admit, that routine does a pretty good job of intimidating your other opponents. You have a pretty good combination of intimidating, confusing and deep. You might be a little bit offset by the fact that that won't work on me, but I implore you - DON'T BE. Because it is by adjusting your methods that you can learn to break out of your routine and return to the days when you were considered somewhat innovative. You talk about breaching impasses, Maelstrom...well it seems to me that you're stuck at an impasse right now. And if you want to breach this one, you're going to need my help.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: I know you don't seem to believe that my Message can help you, Maelstrom. I'm sure you'd find it hard to believe that any one of your opponents can actually make you better - you've deluded yourself into thinking that they just don't come any better than you. I know that will be difficult to overcome, Maelstrom. But with my help, you can do it. And just THINK about it - why, if you were to become self-actualized, you'd be absolutely unstoppable! You think you are NOW, of course, but you've lost a match or two in GLCW, so I think we can agree that you do have a flaw or two, right?
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Don't be a slave to the tired routine you've created for yourself, Maelstrom. If you really want to breach the impasse you're stuck at, just say the words and I can start helping you with my program today. I'm sure you regard me much like all the other opponents who've thought for all the world that they could beat you, but I'm different. I'm much more than just a confident opponent...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "So Far Away" by Staind)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: You know, Maelstrom, I have to admit it. As you know, my mission here in GLCW has been to enlighten as many people as possible to the path of self-actualization. And as such, the best opportunities are the ones where my opponent is in desperate need of my help. So logic would suggest that the best situation for me would be one in which it becomes apparent that you need my help.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's full face)
Cannonball Kidd: But deep down, I don't know if I was hoping that. Your name has been thrown around everywhere as one of the best in the business, and since Michael Manson disappointed me by not being self-actualized when I thought he might be, I thought that at the very least ONE other person in GLCW would be self-actualized. And you, Maelstrom, would be the most likely candidate. I admit it - I was hoping you might have some degree of self-actualization...I knew it wouldn't even be close to mine, but at least it would give you some understanding of my Message.
(He shakes his head sadly)
Cannonball Kidd: But no, it was not to be. After your last promo, it became painfully clear to me that you're just as much in need of my help as everyone else in GLCW. More so than a lot of them, in fact. You've spent so long believing that you're the standard by which everyone should be judged that you can't even see how ridiculous the things you say and do have become. It's rare to see a man who has mutated into a giant clichè, but you pull it off, Maelstrom.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball from the torso up)
Cannonball Kidd: And the painful irony of that is that in your last promo, part of your message was that everyone uses the "same old tired lines." Yet look at some of the things you said. Attacking catch phrases, claiming everyone else is insecure, discrediting my Message when in reality you just don't understand it, even citing your own zen-like self-awareness while simultaneously talking about how little it means...you know who you sound like, Maelstrom? I'll give you a few seconds to think about it before I give it away...you're a smart guy, right? You should be able to figure it out.
(Cannonball pauses for a moment to look at his watch, but he isn't wearing a watch so he just stares at his wrist for a few seconds)
Cannonball Kidd: Answer: Every other opponent I've had since I made my GLCW debut. Nemesis, Tact, Poe, Wells...pretty much everyone except "Showtime" Steven James, whom we might as well not count. I try and try and try to convince them that going through the same tired motions won't help get their point across, but no one listens. Pretty much the only thing that set your latest promo apart, Maelstrom, was the fancy scrolling text, and even THAT'S been done to death in this business too.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, I admit, that routine does a pretty good job of intimidating your other opponents. You have a pretty good combination of intimidating, confusing and deep. You might be a little bit offset by the fact that that won't work on me, but I implore you - DON'T BE. Because it is by adjusting your methods that you can learn to break out of your routine and return to the days when you were considered somewhat innovative. You talk about breaching impasses, Maelstrom...well it seems to me that you're stuck at an impasse right now. And if you want to breach this one, you're going to need my help.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: I know you don't seem to believe that my Message can help you, Maelstrom. I'm sure you'd find it hard to believe that any one of your opponents can actually make you better - you've deluded yourself into thinking that they just don't come any better than you. I know that will be difficult to overcome, Maelstrom. But with my help, you can do it. And just THINK about it - why, if you were to become self-actualized, you'd be absolutely unstoppable! You think you are NOW, of course, but you've lost a match or two in GLCW, so I think we can agree that you do have a flaw or two, right?
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Don't be a slave to the tired routine you've created for yourself, Maelstrom. If you really want to breach the impasse you're stuck at, just say the words and I can start helping you with my program today. I'm sure you regard me much like all the other opponents who've thought for all the world that they could beat you, but I'm different. I'm much more than just a confident opponent...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
J
JLebron
Guest
Self-actualized
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-19-03 AT 10:36 AM (EST)](FADE IN:...... to a GLCW backdrop with an end table and a director-style folding chair in the middle. Sitting on top of the end table is a glass of water and a megaphone.
CUE UP: Enter Sandman.....
Suddenly appearing from the side of our view is Maelstrom. He's carrying a full mail sack over his shoulder and as usual, dragging the GLCW Heavyweight Title in tow behind him. The mail sack itself is half open and is spilling letters all over the place as he walks toward the chair. He then lets the mail sack drop heavily to the ground next to the chair causing even more letters to spill to the ground. He takes a seat in the chair, and in what has become the norm since capturing the title, he lets it drop carelessly to the ground by his feet. He then proceeds to glare stoically into the camera, this goes on for a few moments, until he breaks into a faint grin, reaches for the megaphone and yells out.....)
MAELSTROM: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT ALREADY! CUT THE MUSIC! CUT THE DAMN MUSIC I TELL YA!
(shakes his head disparagingly and mutters inaudibly to himself, after a moment or two he takes a sip from the glass of water, settles down and begins to speak....)
MAELSTROM: Ya know Kidd, we can go on an' on tradin' insults an' such, but to tell ya the truth, it really doesn't appeal to me today. Maybe I'm just bored with the mundane ritual that has become the norm 'round here, of debating with people who possess no insight, let alone common sense. Twisting words conveniently to fit YOUR insecure needs instead of simply telling it the way it REALLY is. Much like Manson does trying to downplay his humiliating loss to me by saying that it only happened once, yet he conveniently leaves out the FACT that we've only met ONCE in singles competition. Much like he likes to boast of how he is the only man to pin me, yet he leaves out the FACT that he did so with the use of concealed brass knuckles in a TAG-TEAM match! The very same man, an' believe me, I use the term "loosely", who claims I CONSTANTLY mention him in my promos when actually HE is the one who in nearly every single promo he shoots, feels the need to drop a critical, derogatory comment 'bout me.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Is that what yer self-actualization is leadin' ya to Kidd? Self-delusion? Well, like I said earlier, I'm really not in the mood for all the recycled rhetoric an' insecure lies so just for today, I decided to let the wrestling fans dictate the content of this promo with their submitted questions an views.
(reaches over and indiscriminately grabs one of the letters from the pile)
MAELSTROM: This one is from Rafael Carmelo in Fayetteville NC, and he states: ".....my sexually-confused friend, Billy Ferraro, is suffering from chronic insecurity anxieties, or 'Mansonitis' as I like to call it. He constantly lies and cheats and when he doesn't out-right lie, he contorts the truth to conveniently accomodate his own needs. I was wondering if your self-actualization program is on VHS or DVD because at this point I'm willing to try ANYTHING, no matter how stupid or ridiculous it may be."
(puts the letter down and smiles facetiously as he turns and takes a sip from the glass of water on the table)
MAELSTROM: Interesting. Could yer self-actualization program cure something as stigmatizing as 'Mansonitis'? Now THAT I would like to see myself because so far, the ONLY person yer program seems to have any type of effect on is..... YOU KIDD!
(gives a mocking nod as he reaches for the next letter)
MAELSTROM: Okay, our next question is from.... (pauses as he looks at the name).... hell, this one is out of Chicago Illinois from a Michael Manson? (starts chuckling as he pulls out the note) Well, it appears that the GLCW's resident nut is a man of "small" words.
(Motions for the camera to zoom in and as it does we see the words "EAT ME" on the note with a small piece of orange Pez taped beneath it.)
MAELSTROM: Well, at least if he's gonna waste my time, he's directly to the point. Our next question comes from.... (momentarily pauses as a stage-hand walks on stage and hands Maelstrom an envelope) ......Well, it seems like we got ourselves a special delivery letter from none other than our very own...... JAKE SHADES! Lets see what ole' Jake has to say....
(opens the letter and begins reading)
MAELSTROM: Hmmmm, now Jake seems to have proved me wrong here. He states: ......"MaelSCUM you F(BLEEP)ING ignorant ape! I'm about to show the world just how stupid you really are! You claim that Cannonball Kidd's self-actualization program only worked on him?! YOU F(BLEEP)ING IDIOT! HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT TO BE THE MAN I AM TODAY?! I was one of the first people to see the brilliance of Cannonball Kidd's insight! I AM a product of his program you F(BLEEP)KING (BLEEP) (BLEEP)....."
(smiles widely as struggles to hold back his laughter)
MAELSTROM: Well, I never thought I'd be sayin' this but Jake, it does appear that you've finally made me eat my words! (grins cynically as he shakes his head) I can DEFINITELY see where YOU would benefit from the Kidd's program, so Kidd, (bows his head melodramatically) I do apologize for doubting the integrity of yer self-actualization program. It does seem to have benefitted at least one other person other than yerself. Hell, who knows, maybe guys like Manson an' Morgan have benefitted as well from yer program but are holdin' out to be compensated endorsers? Anyhow, on to the next question.
(reaches in and pulls out another envelope)
MAELSTROM: This one is from the GLCW Headquarters in Chicago? (raises an eyebrow and gives a quizzical look) From none other than Scott Malec! Lets see what he has to say..... "Maelstrom, in accordance with GLCW policies be advised that your salary will be garnished until the T.V. Cameras you destroyed in the month of June while preparing for your title defense against Jean Rabesque is paid in full. If you wish to discuss alternate arrangements for handling this financial debt you can contact my lawyer N.E.Howard at the number listed below."
(feigns a very animated look of concern)
MAELSTROM: Garnished eh? Oh well, that'll barely scratch a day's pay for me but I suppose I can "suffer" through it for one day. Okay, I suppose we have time for ONE more letter....
(reaches in and pulls one out)
MAELSTROM: Hmmm.... this one is from one of my old opponents...... a guy named Copycat and he states: "Maelstrom, I'm still gonna kick yer A$$ for what you did to IceKold! I haven't forgotten and when you least expect it..... EXPECT IT!" (raises an eyebrow and looks directly into the camera) Hey Kidd, I think this guy's an excellent candidate for yer self-actualization program.... he REALLY has issues!
(Laughs mildly as he discards the letter and lets it fall carelessly to the ground. He then reaches down and retrieves the GLCW title from the floor....)
MAELSTROM: Well Kidd, I came here today lookin' to discredit yer lil' program, tryin' to prove that it doesn't work, but hey, I've been proven wrong an' I'll be the first to admit it. It's helped to self-actualize people like Jake Shades.... people like Manson.... people like Morgan into realizing to their fullest potential what they really are...... it lets us all see what taking yer program can do for them.... it apparently isolates and intensifies their strongest attributes an' helps to personify them in their purest form..... INSECURE A$$HOLES!
(Maelstrom begins laughing and starts walking off the set. He suddenly stops in his tracks and glances at the cameras.....)
MAELSTROM: Sometimes there's a reason why resources are left raw an' untapped...... self-actualization is worthless if yer incapable of understandin' it's true concept.....
(FADE OUT.....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-19-03 AT 10:36 AM (EST)](FADE IN:...... to a GLCW backdrop with an end table and a director-style folding chair in the middle. Sitting on top of the end table is a glass of water and a megaphone.
CUE UP: Enter Sandman.....
Suddenly appearing from the side of our view is Maelstrom. He's carrying a full mail sack over his shoulder and as usual, dragging the GLCW Heavyweight Title in tow behind him. The mail sack itself is half open and is spilling letters all over the place as he walks toward the chair. He then lets the mail sack drop heavily to the ground next to the chair causing even more letters to spill to the ground. He takes a seat in the chair, and in what has become the norm since capturing the title, he lets it drop carelessly to the ground by his feet. He then proceeds to glare stoically into the camera, this goes on for a few moments, until he breaks into a faint grin, reaches for the megaphone and yells out.....)
MAELSTROM: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT ALREADY! CUT THE MUSIC! CUT THE DAMN MUSIC I TELL YA!
(shakes his head disparagingly and mutters inaudibly to himself, after a moment or two he takes a sip from the glass of water, settles down and begins to speak....)
MAELSTROM: Ya know Kidd, we can go on an' on tradin' insults an' such, but to tell ya the truth, it really doesn't appeal to me today. Maybe I'm just bored with the mundane ritual that has become the norm 'round here, of debating with people who possess no insight, let alone common sense. Twisting words conveniently to fit YOUR insecure needs instead of simply telling it the way it REALLY is. Much like Manson does trying to downplay his humiliating loss to me by saying that it only happened once, yet he conveniently leaves out the FACT that we've only met ONCE in singles competition. Much like he likes to boast of how he is the only man to pin me, yet he leaves out the FACT that he did so with the use of concealed brass knuckles in a TAG-TEAM match! The very same man, an' believe me, I use the term "loosely", who claims I CONSTANTLY mention him in my promos when actually HE is the one who in nearly every single promo he shoots, feels the need to drop a critical, derogatory comment 'bout me.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Is that what yer self-actualization is leadin' ya to Kidd? Self-delusion? Well, like I said earlier, I'm really not in the mood for all the recycled rhetoric an' insecure lies so just for today, I decided to let the wrestling fans dictate the content of this promo with their submitted questions an views.
(reaches over and indiscriminately grabs one of the letters from the pile)
MAELSTROM: This one is from Rafael Carmelo in Fayetteville NC, and he states: ".....my sexually-confused friend, Billy Ferraro, is suffering from chronic insecurity anxieties, or 'Mansonitis' as I like to call it. He constantly lies and cheats and when he doesn't out-right lie, he contorts the truth to conveniently accomodate his own needs. I was wondering if your self-actualization program is on VHS or DVD because at this point I'm willing to try ANYTHING, no matter how stupid or ridiculous it may be."
(puts the letter down and smiles facetiously as he turns and takes a sip from the glass of water on the table)
MAELSTROM: Interesting. Could yer self-actualization program cure something as stigmatizing as 'Mansonitis'? Now THAT I would like to see myself because so far, the ONLY person yer program seems to have any type of effect on is..... YOU KIDD!
(gives a mocking nod as he reaches for the next letter)
MAELSTROM: Okay, our next question is from.... (pauses as he looks at the name).... hell, this one is out of Chicago Illinois from a Michael Manson? (starts chuckling as he pulls out the note) Well, it appears that the GLCW's resident nut is a man of "small" words.
(Motions for the camera to zoom in and as it does we see the words "EAT ME" on the note with a small piece of orange Pez taped beneath it.)
MAELSTROM: Well, at least if he's gonna waste my time, he's directly to the point. Our next question comes from.... (momentarily pauses as a stage-hand walks on stage and hands Maelstrom an envelope) ......Well, it seems like we got ourselves a special delivery letter from none other than our very own...... JAKE SHADES! Lets see what ole' Jake has to say....
(opens the letter and begins reading)
MAELSTROM: Hmmmm, now Jake seems to have proved me wrong here. He states: ......"MaelSCUM you F(BLEEP)ING ignorant ape! I'm about to show the world just how stupid you really are! You claim that Cannonball Kidd's self-actualization program only worked on him?! YOU F(BLEEP)ING IDIOT! HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT TO BE THE MAN I AM TODAY?! I was one of the first people to see the brilliance of Cannonball Kidd's insight! I AM a product of his program you F(BLEEP)KING (BLEEP) (BLEEP)....."
(smiles widely as struggles to hold back his laughter)
MAELSTROM: Well, I never thought I'd be sayin' this but Jake, it does appear that you've finally made me eat my words! (grins cynically as he shakes his head) I can DEFINITELY see where YOU would benefit from the Kidd's program, so Kidd, (bows his head melodramatically) I do apologize for doubting the integrity of yer self-actualization program. It does seem to have benefitted at least one other person other than yerself. Hell, who knows, maybe guys like Manson an' Morgan have benefitted as well from yer program but are holdin' out to be compensated endorsers? Anyhow, on to the next question.
(reaches in and pulls out another envelope)
MAELSTROM: This one is from the GLCW Headquarters in Chicago? (raises an eyebrow and gives a quizzical look) From none other than Scott Malec! Lets see what he has to say..... "Maelstrom, in accordance with GLCW policies be advised that your salary will be garnished until the T.V. Cameras you destroyed in the month of June while preparing for your title defense against Jean Rabesque is paid in full. If you wish to discuss alternate arrangements for handling this financial debt you can contact my lawyer N.E.Howard at the number listed below."
(feigns a very animated look of concern)
MAELSTROM: Garnished eh? Oh well, that'll barely scratch a day's pay for me but I suppose I can "suffer" through it for one day. Okay, I suppose we have time for ONE more letter....
(reaches in and pulls one out)
MAELSTROM: Hmmm.... this one is from one of my old opponents...... a guy named Copycat and he states: "Maelstrom, I'm still gonna kick yer A$$ for what you did to IceKold! I haven't forgotten and when you least expect it..... EXPECT IT!" (raises an eyebrow and looks directly into the camera) Hey Kidd, I think this guy's an excellent candidate for yer self-actualization program.... he REALLY has issues!
(Laughs mildly as he discards the letter and lets it fall carelessly to the ground. He then reaches down and retrieves the GLCW title from the floor....)
MAELSTROM: Well Kidd, I came here today lookin' to discredit yer lil' program, tryin' to prove that it doesn't work, but hey, I've been proven wrong an' I'll be the first to admit it. It's helped to self-actualize people like Jake Shades.... people like Manson.... people like Morgan into realizing to their fullest potential what they really are...... it lets us all see what taking yer program can do for them.... it apparently isolates and intensifies their strongest attributes an' helps to personify them in their purest form..... INSECURE A$$HOLES!
(Maelstrom begins laughing and starts walking off the set. He suddenly stops in his tracks and glances at the cameras.....)
MAELSTROM: Sometimes there's a reason why resources are left raw an' untapped...... self-actualization is worthless if yer incapable of understandin' it's true concept.....
(FADE OUT.....)
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
Rim shot
(Cueup: "Taking it All Back" by Count the Stars)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I can hardly count the number of times I've been accused of pushing "perfection," or something like it, as a part of my proven program for self-actualization. But the fact is, I'm just as likely to say I can make people perfect as I am to be perfect myself - and we all know that's just not true. Nobody can be. Self-actualization just means being the best person I can possibly be...and unfortunately, that best person I can possibly be comes forward today racked with a most imperfect emotion...guilt.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, I feel VERY guilty for what I've done to Maelstrom. When I challenged his methods of psyching out his opponents, pointing out that his routines have grown old and stale, I thought that would just wake him up to the impasse he's reached, and that he would take it as a sign that he's truly in need of my help. But it seems that my revelation has had a quite unintended effect. Instead of agreeing that he is in most dire need of my help, Maelstrom instead elected to change his style to one that is, while slightly different, truly frightening in its awful-ness.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, despite his vile transformation into a poorly-thought-out character from a Saturday Night Live sketch - one of the recent sketches, now that all the good writers have quit - I still believe Maelstrom is a fairly intelligent guy. And as such, I don't think I need to put much explanation into why his latest promo was one of the worst he's cut in years, since I'm sure he realized it himself as soon as it aired. But it seemed to me that it was nothing more than a composite of the whininess of Jean Rabesque, the offbeat zaniness of Michael Manson, and the obscure referencing tendencies of Nevada Smith...minus, of course, the elements of those individuals' styles that make them somewhat interesting.
(Cannonball slowly shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: Honestly now, Maelstrom...why go to these lengths? When I said your style needed updating, I didn't mean for you to just rip off some of the other top guys in the business. Most of them are getting pretty dull these days, too. You could have dug deep, come up with something truly innovative and proved me wrong. That's right, Maelstrom. I'm certainly not known to be wrong much these days, but you had the chance to prove me wrong. You did. And you blew it. Really...what did you accomplish with that promo? You dropped a few names to seem "hip." You repeated many of the things you've said to me before, albeit with an awkward tinge of weak humor. You even tried to get on my nerves by taking a shot at a friend of mine.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: But it won't work, Maelstrom. I won't be as easily thrown off-guard by your words as you were by mine. You accuse me of being insecure...well, here's some trivia for you, Maelstrom. If you're such an expert at sniffing out insecurity, here's a riddle for you. There was one thing - ONE THING - about our upcoming match that made me a little insecure. It's been resolved, but it did exist, so I'm even willing to give you credit for knowing it was there...IF you can figure out what it was. I'm not going to tell you what it was just yet, of course...then you wouldn't learn anything. No, what I want you to do is try and deduce just WHAT I was insecure about as pertains to our match. I'll even give you a hint, though by all rights you shouldn't need it...it's NOT some tough-guy worry, like "I'm afraid I'll hurt you too badly." Nothing like that. Let's see what you're capable of, Maelstrom...
(Cannonball strikes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Now Maelstrom, I want to be very specific here. If you take anything out of this promo, PLEASE don't perceive it as a sign that you need to come up with another drastic style change. I don't think the promo-watching American public can take another train wreck like that last one. I just want you to see my Message today for what it is - a sign that, if you want to garner the respect you used to garner, you need to go back to being the innovative superstar you once were, not this broken shell of your formerly dominant self.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You don't HAVE to continue this downward spiral you're on, Maelstrom. There's a way to break out of it, and it's standing before you today. My program can help you get out of this rut, and onto the path towards self-actualization. You can't be the first to benefit from my program, since that honor has gone to "Man of Action" Joe Clarke, but you can still be one of its biggest beneficiaries. All you have to do is say the words, and I can start helping you regain your status as one of the most dominating forces in the business today. I'm not happy that I had to tear apart your style and, more specifically, your latest promo, but it's for your own good. Because I'm not just some critic, Maelstrom...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Taking it All Back" by Count the Stars)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I can hardly count the number of times I've been accused of pushing "perfection," or something like it, as a part of my proven program for self-actualization. But the fact is, I'm just as likely to say I can make people perfect as I am to be perfect myself - and we all know that's just not true. Nobody can be. Self-actualization just means being the best person I can possibly be...and unfortunately, that best person I can possibly be comes forward today racked with a most imperfect emotion...guilt.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, I feel VERY guilty for what I've done to Maelstrom. When I challenged his methods of psyching out his opponents, pointing out that his routines have grown old and stale, I thought that would just wake him up to the impasse he's reached, and that he would take it as a sign that he's truly in need of my help. But it seems that my revelation has had a quite unintended effect. Instead of agreeing that he is in most dire need of my help, Maelstrom instead elected to change his style to one that is, while slightly different, truly frightening in its awful-ness.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, despite his vile transformation into a poorly-thought-out character from a Saturday Night Live sketch - one of the recent sketches, now that all the good writers have quit - I still believe Maelstrom is a fairly intelligent guy. And as such, I don't think I need to put much explanation into why his latest promo was one of the worst he's cut in years, since I'm sure he realized it himself as soon as it aired. But it seemed to me that it was nothing more than a composite of the whininess of Jean Rabesque, the offbeat zaniness of Michael Manson, and the obscure referencing tendencies of Nevada Smith...minus, of course, the elements of those individuals' styles that make them somewhat interesting.
(Cannonball slowly shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: Honestly now, Maelstrom...why go to these lengths? When I said your style needed updating, I didn't mean for you to just rip off some of the other top guys in the business. Most of them are getting pretty dull these days, too. You could have dug deep, come up with something truly innovative and proved me wrong. That's right, Maelstrom. I'm certainly not known to be wrong much these days, but you had the chance to prove me wrong. You did. And you blew it. Really...what did you accomplish with that promo? You dropped a few names to seem "hip." You repeated many of the things you've said to me before, albeit with an awkward tinge of weak humor. You even tried to get on my nerves by taking a shot at a friend of mine.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: But it won't work, Maelstrom. I won't be as easily thrown off-guard by your words as you were by mine. You accuse me of being insecure...well, here's some trivia for you, Maelstrom. If you're such an expert at sniffing out insecurity, here's a riddle for you. There was one thing - ONE THING - about our upcoming match that made me a little insecure. It's been resolved, but it did exist, so I'm even willing to give you credit for knowing it was there...IF you can figure out what it was. I'm not going to tell you what it was just yet, of course...then you wouldn't learn anything. No, what I want you to do is try and deduce just WHAT I was insecure about as pertains to our match. I'll even give you a hint, though by all rights you shouldn't need it...it's NOT some tough-guy worry, like "I'm afraid I'll hurt you too badly." Nothing like that. Let's see what you're capable of, Maelstrom...
(Cannonball strikes a heroic pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Now Maelstrom, I want to be very specific here. If you take anything out of this promo, PLEASE don't perceive it as a sign that you need to come up with another drastic style change. I don't think the promo-watching American public can take another train wreck like that last one. I just want you to see my Message today for what it is - a sign that, if you want to garner the respect you used to garner, you need to go back to being the innovative superstar you once were, not this broken shell of your formerly dominant self.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You don't HAVE to continue this downward spiral you're on, Maelstrom. There's a way to break out of it, and it's standing before you today. My program can help you get out of this rut, and onto the path towards self-actualization. You can't be the first to benefit from my program, since that honor has gone to "Man of Action" Joe Clarke, but you can still be one of its biggest beneficiaries. All you have to do is say the words, and I can start helping you regain your status as one of the most dominating forces in the business today. I'm not happy that I had to tear apart your style and, more specifically, your latest promo, but it's for your own good. Because I'm not just some critic, Maelstrom...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
J
JLebron
Guest
Successful feints.....
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-23-03 AT 01:30 PM (EST)](FADE IN.... to a black screen where we see numbers counting down in succession.....
4.... 3..... 2..... 1.....
The screen suddenly splits in half and slides open to reveal Tony Ross sitting behind a desk smiling . Music is playing in the background as a booming voice resounds over the loudspeakers.....)
"Coming to you live from the GLCW Headquarters in Chicago is Tony Ross!"
TONY ROSS: Hello everyone! I'm Tony Ross and we're live from the GLCW Headquarters in the windy city where we're preparing for our next huge card, Wisconsin Dells Riptide! Today, I'd like to focus on the main event for that card, of course I'm talking about the GLCW heavyweight title match between the Champion Maelstrom and the challenger the Cannonball Kidd. As luck would have it, via satellite feed, we were granted a rare opportunity to interview with the current GLCW Heavyweight Champion, Maelstrom who's over in New York as we speak.
(at that moment the screen splits in two, one side showing of course Tony Ross with the word Chicago printed underneath him and the other side just beginning to fade in with the words New York underneath it. Moments later Maelstrom's image appears on the screen as well......)
TONY ROSS: Welcome Maelstrom and thank you for granting us this interview.....
(Tony Ross smiles pleasantly as he waits for Maelstrom's response..... a response that's long in coming, actually, a response that doesn't come at all as Maelstrom's lips are moving but no audio is heard.)
TONY ROSS: Um, hello? Maelstrom? Can you hear me?
(Maelstrom simply glares stoically at us as he leans back in his chair and folds his huge arms over his massive chest .....)
TONY ROSS: Um, it seems as if we're experiencing some technical difficulties, if you'll just bear with us a moment.....
(Tony pauses as he looks to the side, apparently receiving instructions from the technical advisors off the set while Maelstrom sighs heavily and purses his lips. Suddenly, without warning, the New York side of the screen immediately goes to snow as a loud "static" feedback pop is heard)
TONY ROSS: WOW! It looks as if we just lost our transmission. I understand that there's a major storm approaching the New York City area, no doubt affecting our transmission.
(pauses uncomfortably as he puts a hand over the mike and begins asking questions to someone off screen. Moments later, after a few head nods and questioning looks, Tony Ross continues with his segment)
TONY ROSS: While our technicians handle the transmission problem, lets take advantage and get some pre-recorded views from the Champion's opponent via his most recent mic spots.
(immediately the snow filled side of the screen is replaced with the Cannonball Kidd's most recent mic spot. On the other side of the screen, Tony Ross's smile seems to falter a bit and his brow furrows up in somewhat of a confused expression)
TONY ROSS: Um, I have to apologize once again. I was under the impression that we were going to air Cannonball Kidd's MOST RECENT mic spot, but it seems as if we mistakenly aired his very first mic spot for this matchup.
(Tony's attention is suddenly diverted as he looks to the side, this time forgetting to cover the mic as he speaks)
TONY ROSS: What was that? That IS his most recent mic spot?! But the content is exactly the same as the first MIC sp------
(suddenly realizing that everyone could hear his comments, he immediately muffles the microphone and continues his discussion with the unseen tech off screen as the Cannonball Kidd's mic spot freezes. Moments later, he faces the camera, and smiles sheepishly as he begins to speak again.....)
TONY ROSS: Okay, my apologies once again, particularly to the Cannonball Kidd for mistaking his last mic spot with his first one. It seemed as if we were having a bit of a communication gap here. That WAS indeed the Cannonball Kidd's last and latest mic spot that we were viewing so before anything else can arise, lets continue rolling that footage.
(immediately the side with Cannonball Kidd's mic spot begins to roll again, growing larger in size as Tony Ross's side shrinks to half size, that only lasts for a few moments however as the sides go back to equal size and Tony Ross's side takes over the audio....)
TONY ROSS: Well, I'm just getting word that the transmission problem over in New York has been resolved so we'll be immediately going right back to New York.
(immediately, the Cannonball Kidd mic spot freezes then goes black. Seconds later, we find ourselves staring once again at Maelstrom with the New York caption underneath him)
TONY ROSS: Okay, once again, my apologies to all for these unforeseen problems, but hopefully we've seen the last of it. Once again, I'd like to welcome and thank Maelstrom for granting us this interview. Maelstrom, you've just come off a grueling match with Jean Rabesque only to be tossed right back into the frying pan with one of the GLCW's newest rising stars, The Cannonball Kidd. It doesn't seem to get any easier does it?
MAELSTROM: If it were easy, then where would the challenge be eh?
TONY ROSS: Well, that's one way of looking at it. Maelstrom, the Cannonball Kidd has virtually guaranteed that he will take the title from you. Does such a bold statement like that affect you any differently?
MAELSTROM: Not in the least. It's not the first time I've heard such statements an' I'm sure it won't be the last. Before they used to amuse me, but now, well, I've heard 'em so often lately that now I don't even pay them any mind.... much like the boy who cried wolf too often.
TONY ROSS: Does that mean that you're taking a lighter approach toward the Cannonball Kidd?
MAELSTROM: Not at all. I don't take ANYONE lightly, because I not only know, but have accepted the fact that ANYONE can be defeated at any given time. Now beaten, that's another thing.
TONY ROSS: What's the difference? I don't quite follow you?
MAELSTROM: Well, just last week the Cannonball Kidd defeated Jarod Poe, but he didn't beat him.
TONY ROSS: (gives a quizzical look) I still don't follow, Cannonball Kidd scored the win over Jarod Poe so how do you figure he didn't beat him?
MAELSTROM: The record books will show that he defeated Jarod Poe on that night, however he did so with the help of his croonie, The Man Of Action. Were it not for that, he MAY have still gone on to actually BEAT Poe, then again, maybe not. Unfortunately, we'll never know will we?
TONY ROSS: I see what you're saying, but in effect, isn't it the ultimate goal to capture the win?
MAELSTROM: Indeed it is. And that seems to be a growing problem here an' just 'bout everywhere else. Everyone is so wrapped up 'bout (does the quote thingie with his fingers) "securing the win" that they forget what it's all really all 'bout..... competition! Proving who truly is the better man!
TONY ROSS: Are you insinuating that it's all purely business?
MAELSTROM: Absolutely. This sport is no different from baseball, or basketball or any other major sports event that draws in the mega bucks. The focus has been taken off of "pure competition" long ago an' has since been replaced with the attitude of "whatever it takes to shine". Unfortunately, for most, it's 'bout fame or fortune FIRST an' FOREMOST, an' personal growth second, if at all.
TONY ROSS: That's strange talk coming from someone like you Maelstrom. You've dominated in just about every league you've ever been a part of. You've held countless titles and as far as fame and fortune, your reputation precedes you where ever you go, along with the huge paycheck.
MAELSTROM: All that's true Tony, 'cept that my road there didn't encompass the "whatever it takes" attitude. I've gotten where I am today for one simple reason..... I'm always looking for an impasse to breach.
TONY ROSS: An impasse? You mean like the titles you've captured?
MAELSTROM: No. Titles are merely a means to an end..... a possible tool used to lure ya closer to an impasse. Breachin' it, now that's an entirely different concept, one that few can understand let alone willingly embrace.
TONY ROSS: Who in the GLCW would you think understands this concept?
MAELSTROM: There are only a few people that come to mind in the GLCW, guys like maybe Nemesis, Dakota but the one that really stands out from the rest would be Anarky.
TONY ROSS: I could understand you mentioning someone like Anarky however, and no disrespect intended to Nemesis or Dakota, but they are not as seasoned as someone like say, Michael Manson who's seen it all and has like you yourself, virtually done it all? Do you think that maybe your biase toward Manson is rearing itself about now?
MAELSTROM: It's no secret that I don't care too much for Manson..... as a person I think he's a total PIZZLE, but only a fool would refuse to recognize the fact that he has a measure of talent an' ability, albeit, in my opinion, not as much as HE'D like to think he has. But to answer yer question, not at all. Manson has great in-ring ability, he improvises very well but he lacks insight as most insecure people are apt to do, which is probably why he usually resorts to "questionable" tactics to realize his goals.
TONY ROSS: Well, if Manson is in fact insecure, he's got to be one of the most successful insecure people I've ever come across. But lets shift the topic to your current opponent, the Cannonball Kidd. He professess being the innovator of self-actualization, even moreso than you. What are your views regarding him and his program of self-actualization?
MAELSTROM: He's not the first to make such a claim. Nikolai Ash before him tried it, an' it actually got him on a roll of sorts..... until we met in our title match that is.
TONY ROSS: That may be but prior to your title defense against him, he has given you your ONLY loss in the GLCW thus far.
MAELSTROM: He got the "countout-W" by way of a Manson interference...... the record books call it a loss an' if ya want to refer to it as such also, that's all on you, the fact still remains that to this day, he's NEVER "beaten" me.
TONY ROSS: So you're suggesting then that Cannonball Kidd's program is a fraud?
MAELSTROM: No, YOU are. His "self-actualization" concept may in fact be legitimate, at least in theory. What's in question is his supposed application of it. Look at guys like Billy Graham who themselves professed to be a "MAN WITH A MESSAGE", but in reality all it ever really was, was nothin' but a con. Yeah, I realize that this sport demands a measure of that to a certain degree, but it'll all surely turn on him the moment he faces someone who actually practices what he preaches. I've been breachin' impasses since that fateful day back in New Japan, a day which ironically should have ended my career, but in fact, actually started it.
TONY ROSS: What makes your insight any greater than his?
MAELSTROM: (grins) Well, for starters I don't go around guaranteeing something that is absolutely out of my "total" control, not 'cuz of lack of confidence mind ya, but simply 'cuz it's assinine. An' I'll even go one further..... I have NEVER, EVER employed the use of "questionable" tactics in any of my matches, somethin' that the Kidd has already done with his use of Man of Action in his match against Poe. A win has to have more meaning to me than just a simple paycheck or winning of a strap or a check mark in the win column...... I have to be able to look myself in the mirror..... an' KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, that I indeed was the better man that night. That for me is the ultimate prize..... more valuable than any paycheck..... shimmering greater than any title ever could. Money I have, enough so that I can retire tomorrow an' live the rest of my life very comfortably if I wanted to. Titles, well, I've seen more than my share of paper champions, Manson immediately comes to mind. An' I've also seen my share of uncrowned champs, Jean Rabesque immediately comes to mind there. They're both very talented with one main difference, only one of them has integrity. A title's worth is only as good as how you capture it an' then, just as importantly, the manner in which ya defend it. Hell, if I wanted to, I could probably keep this title for as long as I wanted to, if I defended it like Manson, using the "whatever it takes" method. Hell, were it not for finally trapping him in a "cage" match for the title, where NO ONE was able to interfere, I'm sure he woulda found some "questionable" way to hang on to it a bit longer .
TONY ROSS: You've held the title almost twice as long as Manson, yet you've both defended it an equal amount of times. How do you feel about that?
MAELSTROM: If it were up to me, I would defend the title in EVERY match I was involved in, whether they were ranked high enough or not. Unfortunately that's not up to me. Ya see, this strap itself is NOT my goal. I mean, in a sense it is involved with my ultimate goal but it doesn't encompass it. This strap is the tool I use to lure the toughest to me...... an' at the same time, to lure me that much closer to breachin' my next impasse.
TONY ROSS: If it's a tough fight you want, why not simply challenge who you feel is the toughest?
MAELSTROM: There's no fire when there's nothin' at stake. A title, well now.... EVERYONE wants a title.... whether it be for greed, glory or fame! Something like that tends to bring out that extra effort..... that extra motivation that takes ya to the edge. Even for those with insecurities, it makes them that much more daring, that much more innovative..... that much more dangerous.
TONY ROSS: Speaking of insecurities, The Cannonball Kidd has since admitted to having had a particular insecurity regarding your upcoming match. And he's basically challenged you to guess what it is or was. Do you have any idea what it could be?
(Maelstrom narrows his eyes and nods his head disparagingly just before he begins to speak)
MAELSTROM: Actually Tony, there really is no challenge to the Kidd's question. Ya see To-------- Kidd's insecurity is------- an' that's the real val-------- successful feint------
(suddenly Maelstrom's audio begins faltering as all we hear are broken fragments of his comments as we see his mouth moving but hear little if no audio)
TONY ROSS: Oh boy, it looks as if we're beginning to have difficulties once again with our New York transmission..... let's see if we could hold on for just a bit longer. Maelstrom? MAELSTROM? CAN YOU HEAR ME? COULD YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT LAST COMMENT FOR OUR VIEWERS? OUR TRANSMISSION IS FADING!
MAELSTROM: (gives a single nod of his head in acknowledgement) I was say------ curity is directly linked to------ ich explains his-------
(once more the commentary comes in broken fragments then suddenly we lose the New York transmission altogether as Maelstrom's side of the screen suddenly turns to snow and we get hit with a large static feedback pop)
TONY ROSS: (sighing and nodding his head in disappointment) Oh man! It looks as if we've completely lost our transmission with New York. (puts a headset on and begins to listen) From what I'm being told, the storm has arrived in full force in the New York area and has completely knocked out our signal over there. (pauses again as he listens on the headset) From what I understand, we're going to have to wait until the entire storm passes through the New York area and out to sea before we can hope to regain our transmission over there, and I've just been told that can last up to an hour or two. (shakes his head) My apologies to our viewers for this unfortunate turn of events, which couldn't have happened at a more in-opportune moment. So for now, I'm Tony Ross for the GLCW urging you not to miss this Wisconsin card, it promises to be bi-----
(suddeny with an explosive pop of static feedback, Tony's half of the screen also turns to snow, leaving us no choice but to simply.... FADE OUT.....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-23-03 AT 01:30 PM (EST)](FADE IN.... to a black screen where we see numbers counting down in succession.....
4.... 3..... 2..... 1.....
The screen suddenly splits in half and slides open to reveal Tony Ross sitting behind a desk smiling . Music is playing in the background as a booming voice resounds over the loudspeakers.....)
"Coming to you live from the GLCW Headquarters in Chicago is Tony Ross!"
TONY ROSS: Hello everyone! I'm Tony Ross and we're live from the GLCW Headquarters in the windy city where we're preparing for our next huge card, Wisconsin Dells Riptide! Today, I'd like to focus on the main event for that card, of course I'm talking about the GLCW heavyweight title match between the Champion Maelstrom and the challenger the Cannonball Kidd. As luck would have it, via satellite feed, we were granted a rare opportunity to interview with the current GLCW Heavyweight Champion, Maelstrom who's over in New York as we speak.
(at that moment the screen splits in two, one side showing of course Tony Ross with the word Chicago printed underneath him and the other side just beginning to fade in with the words New York underneath it. Moments later Maelstrom's image appears on the screen as well......)
TONY ROSS: Welcome Maelstrom and thank you for granting us this interview.....
(Tony Ross smiles pleasantly as he waits for Maelstrom's response..... a response that's long in coming, actually, a response that doesn't come at all as Maelstrom's lips are moving but no audio is heard.)
TONY ROSS: Um, hello? Maelstrom? Can you hear me?
(Maelstrom simply glares stoically at us as he leans back in his chair and folds his huge arms over his massive chest .....)
TONY ROSS: Um, it seems as if we're experiencing some technical difficulties, if you'll just bear with us a moment.....
(Tony pauses as he looks to the side, apparently receiving instructions from the technical advisors off the set while Maelstrom sighs heavily and purses his lips. Suddenly, without warning, the New York side of the screen immediately goes to snow as a loud "static" feedback pop is heard)
TONY ROSS: WOW! It looks as if we just lost our transmission. I understand that there's a major storm approaching the New York City area, no doubt affecting our transmission.
(pauses uncomfortably as he puts a hand over the mike and begins asking questions to someone off screen. Moments later, after a few head nods and questioning looks, Tony Ross continues with his segment)
TONY ROSS: While our technicians handle the transmission problem, lets take advantage and get some pre-recorded views from the Champion's opponent via his most recent mic spots.
(immediately the snow filled side of the screen is replaced with the Cannonball Kidd's most recent mic spot. On the other side of the screen, Tony Ross's smile seems to falter a bit and his brow furrows up in somewhat of a confused expression)
TONY ROSS: Um, I have to apologize once again. I was under the impression that we were going to air Cannonball Kidd's MOST RECENT mic spot, but it seems as if we mistakenly aired his very first mic spot for this matchup.
(Tony's attention is suddenly diverted as he looks to the side, this time forgetting to cover the mic as he speaks)
TONY ROSS: What was that? That IS his most recent mic spot?! But the content is exactly the same as the first MIC sp------
(suddenly realizing that everyone could hear his comments, he immediately muffles the microphone and continues his discussion with the unseen tech off screen as the Cannonball Kidd's mic spot freezes. Moments later, he faces the camera, and smiles sheepishly as he begins to speak again.....)
TONY ROSS: Okay, my apologies once again, particularly to the Cannonball Kidd for mistaking his last mic spot with his first one. It seemed as if we were having a bit of a communication gap here. That WAS indeed the Cannonball Kidd's last and latest mic spot that we were viewing so before anything else can arise, lets continue rolling that footage.
(immediately the side with Cannonball Kidd's mic spot begins to roll again, growing larger in size as Tony Ross's side shrinks to half size, that only lasts for a few moments however as the sides go back to equal size and Tony Ross's side takes over the audio....)
TONY ROSS: Well, I'm just getting word that the transmission problem over in New York has been resolved so we'll be immediately going right back to New York.
(immediately, the Cannonball Kidd mic spot freezes then goes black. Seconds later, we find ourselves staring once again at Maelstrom with the New York caption underneath him)
TONY ROSS: Okay, once again, my apologies to all for these unforeseen problems, but hopefully we've seen the last of it. Once again, I'd like to welcome and thank Maelstrom for granting us this interview. Maelstrom, you've just come off a grueling match with Jean Rabesque only to be tossed right back into the frying pan with one of the GLCW's newest rising stars, The Cannonball Kidd. It doesn't seem to get any easier does it?
MAELSTROM: If it were easy, then where would the challenge be eh?
TONY ROSS: Well, that's one way of looking at it. Maelstrom, the Cannonball Kidd has virtually guaranteed that he will take the title from you. Does such a bold statement like that affect you any differently?
MAELSTROM: Not in the least. It's not the first time I've heard such statements an' I'm sure it won't be the last. Before they used to amuse me, but now, well, I've heard 'em so often lately that now I don't even pay them any mind.... much like the boy who cried wolf too often.
TONY ROSS: Does that mean that you're taking a lighter approach toward the Cannonball Kidd?
MAELSTROM: Not at all. I don't take ANYONE lightly, because I not only know, but have accepted the fact that ANYONE can be defeated at any given time. Now beaten, that's another thing.
TONY ROSS: What's the difference? I don't quite follow you?
MAELSTROM: Well, just last week the Cannonball Kidd defeated Jarod Poe, but he didn't beat him.
TONY ROSS: (gives a quizzical look) I still don't follow, Cannonball Kidd scored the win over Jarod Poe so how do you figure he didn't beat him?
MAELSTROM: The record books will show that he defeated Jarod Poe on that night, however he did so with the help of his croonie, The Man Of Action. Were it not for that, he MAY have still gone on to actually BEAT Poe, then again, maybe not. Unfortunately, we'll never know will we?
TONY ROSS: I see what you're saying, but in effect, isn't it the ultimate goal to capture the win?
MAELSTROM: Indeed it is. And that seems to be a growing problem here an' just 'bout everywhere else. Everyone is so wrapped up 'bout (does the quote thingie with his fingers) "securing the win" that they forget what it's all really all 'bout..... competition! Proving who truly is the better man!
TONY ROSS: Are you insinuating that it's all purely business?
MAELSTROM: Absolutely. This sport is no different from baseball, or basketball or any other major sports event that draws in the mega bucks. The focus has been taken off of "pure competition" long ago an' has since been replaced with the attitude of "whatever it takes to shine". Unfortunately, for most, it's 'bout fame or fortune FIRST an' FOREMOST, an' personal growth second, if at all.
TONY ROSS: That's strange talk coming from someone like you Maelstrom. You've dominated in just about every league you've ever been a part of. You've held countless titles and as far as fame and fortune, your reputation precedes you where ever you go, along with the huge paycheck.
MAELSTROM: All that's true Tony, 'cept that my road there didn't encompass the "whatever it takes" attitude. I've gotten where I am today for one simple reason..... I'm always looking for an impasse to breach.
TONY ROSS: An impasse? You mean like the titles you've captured?
MAELSTROM: No. Titles are merely a means to an end..... a possible tool used to lure ya closer to an impasse. Breachin' it, now that's an entirely different concept, one that few can understand let alone willingly embrace.
TONY ROSS: Who in the GLCW would you think understands this concept?
MAELSTROM: There are only a few people that come to mind in the GLCW, guys like maybe Nemesis, Dakota but the one that really stands out from the rest would be Anarky.
TONY ROSS: I could understand you mentioning someone like Anarky however, and no disrespect intended to Nemesis or Dakota, but they are not as seasoned as someone like say, Michael Manson who's seen it all and has like you yourself, virtually done it all? Do you think that maybe your biase toward Manson is rearing itself about now?
MAELSTROM: It's no secret that I don't care too much for Manson..... as a person I think he's a total PIZZLE, but only a fool would refuse to recognize the fact that he has a measure of talent an' ability, albeit, in my opinion, not as much as HE'D like to think he has. But to answer yer question, not at all. Manson has great in-ring ability, he improvises very well but he lacks insight as most insecure people are apt to do, which is probably why he usually resorts to "questionable" tactics to realize his goals.
TONY ROSS: Well, if Manson is in fact insecure, he's got to be one of the most successful insecure people I've ever come across. But lets shift the topic to your current opponent, the Cannonball Kidd. He professess being the innovator of self-actualization, even moreso than you. What are your views regarding him and his program of self-actualization?
MAELSTROM: He's not the first to make such a claim. Nikolai Ash before him tried it, an' it actually got him on a roll of sorts..... until we met in our title match that is.
TONY ROSS: That may be but prior to your title defense against him, he has given you your ONLY loss in the GLCW thus far.
MAELSTROM: He got the "countout-W" by way of a Manson interference...... the record books call it a loss an' if ya want to refer to it as such also, that's all on you, the fact still remains that to this day, he's NEVER "beaten" me.
TONY ROSS: So you're suggesting then that Cannonball Kidd's program is a fraud?
MAELSTROM: No, YOU are. His "self-actualization" concept may in fact be legitimate, at least in theory. What's in question is his supposed application of it. Look at guys like Billy Graham who themselves professed to be a "MAN WITH A MESSAGE", but in reality all it ever really was, was nothin' but a con. Yeah, I realize that this sport demands a measure of that to a certain degree, but it'll all surely turn on him the moment he faces someone who actually practices what he preaches. I've been breachin' impasses since that fateful day back in New Japan, a day which ironically should have ended my career, but in fact, actually started it.
TONY ROSS: What makes your insight any greater than his?
MAELSTROM: (grins) Well, for starters I don't go around guaranteeing something that is absolutely out of my "total" control, not 'cuz of lack of confidence mind ya, but simply 'cuz it's assinine. An' I'll even go one further..... I have NEVER, EVER employed the use of "questionable" tactics in any of my matches, somethin' that the Kidd has already done with his use of Man of Action in his match against Poe. A win has to have more meaning to me than just a simple paycheck or winning of a strap or a check mark in the win column...... I have to be able to look myself in the mirror..... an' KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, that I indeed was the better man that night. That for me is the ultimate prize..... more valuable than any paycheck..... shimmering greater than any title ever could. Money I have, enough so that I can retire tomorrow an' live the rest of my life very comfortably if I wanted to. Titles, well, I've seen more than my share of paper champions, Manson immediately comes to mind. An' I've also seen my share of uncrowned champs, Jean Rabesque immediately comes to mind there. They're both very talented with one main difference, only one of them has integrity. A title's worth is only as good as how you capture it an' then, just as importantly, the manner in which ya defend it. Hell, if I wanted to, I could probably keep this title for as long as I wanted to, if I defended it like Manson, using the "whatever it takes" method. Hell, were it not for finally trapping him in a "cage" match for the title, where NO ONE was able to interfere, I'm sure he woulda found some "questionable" way to hang on to it a bit longer .
TONY ROSS: You've held the title almost twice as long as Manson, yet you've both defended it an equal amount of times. How do you feel about that?
MAELSTROM: If it were up to me, I would defend the title in EVERY match I was involved in, whether they were ranked high enough or not. Unfortunately that's not up to me. Ya see, this strap itself is NOT my goal. I mean, in a sense it is involved with my ultimate goal but it doesn't encompass it. This strap is the tool I use to lure the toughest to me...... an' at the same time, to lure me that much closer to breachin' my next impasse.
TONY ROSS: If it's a tough fight you want, why not simply challenge who you feel is the toughest?
MAELSTROM: There's no fire when there's nothin' at stake. A title, well now.... EVERYONE wants a title.... whether it be for greed, glory or fame! Something like that tends to bring out that extra effort..... that extra motivation that takes ya to the edge. Even for those with insecurities, it makes them that much more daring, that much more innovative..... that much more dangerous.
TONY ROSS: Speaking of insecurities, The Cannonball Kidd has since admitted to having had a particular insecurity regarding your upcoming match. And he's basically challenged you to guess what it is or was. Do you have any idea what it could be?
(Maelstrom narrows his eyes and nods his head disparagingly just before he begins to speak)
MAELSTROM: Actually Tony, there really is no challenge to the Kidd's question. Ya see To-------- Kidd's insecurity is------- an' that's the real val-------- successful feint------
(suddenly Maelstrom's audio begins faltering as all we hear are broken fragments of his comments as we see his mouth moving but hear little if no audio)
TONY ROSS: Oh boy, it looks as if we're beginning to have difficulties once again with our New York transmission..... let's see if we could hold on for just a bit longer. Maelstrom? MAELSTROM? CAN YOU HEAR ME? COULD YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT LAST COMMENT FOR OUR VIEWERS? OUR TRANSMISSION IS FADING!
MAELSTROM: (gives a single nod of his head in acknowledgement) I was say------ curity is directly linked to------ ich explains his-------
(once more the commentary comes in broken fragments then suddenly we lose the New York transmission altogether as Maelstrom's side of the screen suddenly turns to snow and we get hit with a large static feedback pop)
TONY ROSS: (sighing and nodding his head in disappointment) Oh man! It looks as if we've completely lost our transmission with New York. (puts a headset on and begins to listen) From what I'm being told, the storm has arrived in full force in the New York area and has completely knocked out our signal over there. (pauses again as he listens on the headset) From what I understand, we're going to have to wait until the entire storm passes through the New York area and out to sea before we can hope to regain our transmission over there, and I've just been told that can last up to an hour or two. (shakes his head) My apologies to our viewers for this unfortunate turn of events, which couldn't have happened at a more in-opportune moment. So for now, I'm Tony Ross for the GLCW urging you not to miss this Wisconsin card, it promises to be bi-----
(suddeny with an explosive pop of static feedback, Tony's half of the screen also turns to snow, leaving us no choice but to simply.... FADE OUT.....)
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
Zing
(Cueup: "Don't Want Her to Stay" by Hot Action Cop)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I have to say, ever since I questioned Maelstrom's routine, he's been nothing but a fountain of new ideas. In some respects, I really am impressed. When I question people's routines, they typically just keep doing the same thing over and over, with the only difference being their denial that they do anything wrong. Maelstrom, though, seems determined not to be caught with his pants down and is actually trying to take the fight to me. Well done indeed.
(Camera zooms back to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Of course, my being impressed stems mainly from the CONCEPT of change. The changes themselves are something less than impressive. The SNL sketch Maelstrom did was a disaster, and I think all parties involved would agree. Now, he's moved on from subpar sketch comedy to subpar biting satire. Yes, Maelstrom has abandoned his SNL persona and has stepped into Bill Maher's shoes. It was a good idea...a lot of satire in the wrestling business these days is pretty uninspired. How better to prove one's individuality than by showing one can adequately perform a routine that no one else can seem to get right?
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: Tragically, Maelstrom only got the "satire" part right, and missed the "biting" part. The Billy Graham reference, the rapidly-becoming-clichè Manson jokes, the spectacular weaseling out of solving the little riddle I posed the last time...why, there was even a potshot at the setting of my promos from Jake Shades' far-less-talented counterpart, Tony Ross! It just doesn't get much more convenient than that. I mean, if it weren't for the fact that these are all things I've seen done before in promos that DON'T try to cultivate the illusion of depth or satire - well, except the Billy Graham bit, I admit - I might be taken aback.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: But not so. In fact, Maelstrom, not only did your promo leave me no more impressed with you, but it also showed how poorly Tony Ross hides his prejudices in GLCW. I could go on about how he thinks the content of all my promos is the same despite the fact that everything you served up in yours was clichè and repeated, but I won't take the time. Why, if I wanted to take potshots at everyone I've had contact with in the past few months, including those that I've previously claimed I don't mention very often, my promo might be almost as long as the advertising contract-breaker you last showed us.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: And likewise, I won't expend too much time responding to your utterly tired points about the difference between beating and defeating, confidence, competition, insecurity, et cetera, et cetera. The way I see it, you and countless other wrestlers have made these same comments countless times. And the wiser opponents, such as myself, have responded to them countless times. So it would rather be a waste of time for me to respond to a point of yours that I've already responded to with others, and that others have already responded to with you. Don't get too confused with that statement, now...just put a little thought into it and it'll make sense.
(Cannonball outstretches his hands in an explanatory gesture)
Cannonball Kidd: Since it seems I've already responded to your utterly clichè points, and your latest promo consisted almost entirely of said points, that almost leaves me with nothing left to say. But then it occurred to me that I haven't told you the answer to my riddle yet, and I'd feel quite the fool if I forgot to do THAT. Now, Maelstrom, you pretended to give a response in your promo, and while that was a valiant effort, I think anyone who saw that can tell you were clearly faking it. I'm sure you're just dying to know, though...just WHAT was it about this match that made me a tad insecure? Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Let's face facts, Maelstrom. You've got a lot of enemies. Enemies that you mention repeatedly, usually right after you say you don't need to talk about them. Enemies like Anarky and Michael Manson, to name two of the most prominent. These are guys that, under ordinary circumstances, would probably be rootign for me to beat you. But with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title on the line...things change a little. First off, these guys don't want to see you lose the title, that means THEY wouldn't be able to take it from you. And secondly, if I were to accomplish what many of them have failed to do, they'd all be feeling pretty inadequate, and it doesn't take a psychologist to figure THAT out. So I was insecure - just a little worried - that they might get involved in our match and cause it to end in a way that would leave you with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title. I'm confident that I can beat you, Maelstrom, but if other people get involved, things get convoluted.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: As I said, though, this is an insecurity that I've overcome. For you see, I now have an equalizer...a preventive measure. A way to ensure that nobody interrupts our match. And I believe it will be most effective.
(The camera - YE GODS! WHAT IS THIS??! - zooms out further until we can see Cannonball's entire body. All of the background is still pure black, but after a moment, "Man of Action" Joe Clarke walks into the shot and stands next to Cannonball. He pauses there and does his best to glare a hole in the camera before walking back off-shot. The camera zooms back in on Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, when I said I would not leave Riptide in Columbus without getting someone to accept my program, I meant it. "Man of Action" Joe Clarke is a Columbus native, and is the first person to accept my program as the true key to self-actualization that it is. I am teaching him the path to self-actualization, and in turn, he is doing his part to make sure my matches stay fair and equitable. As a Man of Action, he won't be talking too much...but at six feet eight inches, three hundred and eighteen pounds, there's not much need for it. And he will be there to make sure no one tries to taint the ending of our match, Maelstrom. You can count on that.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: I'll say again, Maelstrom, that it isn't too late for you. You still have the chance to let me help you with my proven program for self-actualization. But the fact is, your denial is far deeper than I had earlier anticipated. And it looks as though, like Jarod Poe, you will not believe I can help you until I've beaten you in the middle of the ring, 1-2-3. One way or another, Maelstrom, I will turn your life around...it would be more beneficial for you if I do so with my words and not with the Life Turnaround or the Crater Creator, but I don't think you realize that yet. I will walk out of Riptide with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title, Maelstrom...if that's what it takes to get you to realize that I truly can help you, that's what I'll have to do. I won't give up so easily, Maelstrom. I'm not a quitter, no...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Don't Want Her to Stay" by Hot Action Cop)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: I have to say, ever since I questioned Maelstrom's routine, he's been nothing but a fountain of new ideas. In some respects, I really am impressed. When I question people's routines, they typically just keep doing the same thing over and over, with the only difference being their denial that they do anything wrong. Maelstrom, though, seems determined not to be caught with his pants down and is actually trying to take the fight to me. Well done indeed.
(Camera zooms back to show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: Of course, my being impressed stems mainly from the CONCEPT of change. The changes themselves are something less than impressive. The SNL sketch Maelstrom did was a disaster, and I think all parties involved would agree. Now, he's moved on from subpar sketch comedy to subpar biting satire. Yes, Maelstrom has abandoned his SNL persona and has stepped into Bill Maher's shoes. It was a good idea...a lot of satire in the wrestling business these days is pretty uninspired. How better to prove one's individuality than by showing one can adequately perform a routine that no one else can seem to get right?
(Cannonball shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: Tragically, Maelstrom only got the "satire" part right, and missed the "biting" part. The Billy Graham reference, the rapidly-becoming-clichè Manson jokes, the spectacular weaseling out of solving the little riddle I posed the last time...why, there was even a potshot at the setting of my promos from Jake Shades' far-less-talented counterpart, Tony Ross! It just doesn't get much more convenient than that. I mean, if it weren't for the fact that these are all things I've seen done before in promos that DON'T try to cultivate the illusion of depth or satire - well, except the Billy Graham bit, I admit - I might be taken aback.
(Camera zooms out to show Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: But not so. In fact, Maelstrom, not only did your promo leave me no more impressed with you, but it also showed how poorly Tony Ross hides his prejudices in GLCW. I could go on about how he thinks the content of all my promos is the same despite the fact that everything you served up in yours was clichè and repeated, but I won't take the time. Why, if I wanted to take potshots at everyone I've had contact with in the past few months, including those that I've previously claimed I don't mention very often, my promo might be almost as long as the advertising contract-breaker you last showed us.
(Cannonball shrugs)
Cannonball Kidd: And likewise, I won't expend too much time responding to your utterly tired points about the difference between beating and defeating, confidence, competition, insecurity, et cetera, et cetera. The way I see it, you and countless other wrestlers have made these same comments countless times. And the wiser opponents, such as myself, have responded to them countless times. So it would rather be a waste of time for me to respond to a point of yours that I've already responded to with others, and that others have already responded to with you. Don't get too confused with that statement, now...just put a little thought into it and it'll make sense.
(Cannonball outstretches his hands in an explanatory gesture)
Cannonball Kidd: Since it seems I've already responded to your utterly clichè points, and your latest promo consisted almost entirely of said points, that almost leaves me with nothing left to say. But then it occurred to me that I haven't told you the answer to my riddle yet, and I'd feel quite the fool if I forgot to do THAT. Now, Maelstrom, you pretended to give a response in your promo, and while that was a valiant effort, I think anyone who saw that can tell you were clearly faking it. I'm sure you're just dying to know, though...just WHAT was it about this match that made me a tad insecure? Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer.
(Cannonball adopts a faux thoughtful look)
Cannonball Kidd: Let's face facts, Maelstrom. You've got a lot of enemies. Enemies that you mention repeatedly, usually right after you say you don't need to talk about them. Enemies like Anarky and Michael Manson, to name two of the most prominent. These are guys that, under ordinary circumstances, would probably be rootign for me to beat you. But with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title on the line...things change a little. First off, these guys don't want to see you lose the title, that means THEY wouldn't be able to take it from you. And secondly, if I were to accomplish what many of them have failed to do, they'd all be feeling pretty inadequate, and it doesn't take a psychologist to figure THAT out. So I was insecure - just a little worried - that they might get involved in our match and cause it to end in a way that would leave you with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title. I'm confident that I can beat you, Maelstrom, but if other people get involved, things get convoluted.
(Cannonball grins in an inspirational manner)
Cannonball Kidd: As I said, though, this is an insecurity that I've overcome. For you see, I now have an equalizer...a preventive measure. A way to ensure that nobody interrupts our match. And I believe it will be most effective.
(The camera - YE GODS! WHAT IS THIS??! - zooms out further until we can see Cannonball's entire body. All of the background is still pure black, but after a moment, "Man of Action" Joe Clarke walks into the shot and stands next to Cannonball. He pauses there and does his best to glare a hole in the camera before walking back off-shot. The camera zooms back in on Cannonball's torso)
Cannonball Kidd: You see, when I said I would not leave Riptide in Columbus without getting someone to accept my program, I meant it. "Man of Action" Joe Clarke is a Columbus native, and is the first person to accept my program as the true key to self-actualization that it is. I am teaching him the path to self-actualization, and in turn, he is doing his part to make sure my matches stay fair and equitable. As a Man of Action, he won't be talking too much...but at six feet eight inches, three hundred and eighteen pounds, there's not much need for it. And he will be there to make sure no one tries to taint the ending of our match, Maelstrom. You can count on that.
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: I'll say again, Maelstrom, that it isn't too late for you. You still have the chance to let me help you with my proven program for self-actualization. But the fact is, your denial is far deeper than I had earlier anticipated. And it looks as though, like Jarod Poe, you will not believe I can help you until I've beaten you in the middle of the ring, 1-2-3. One way or another, Maelstrom, I will turn your life around...it would be more beneficial for you if I do so with my words and not with the Life Turnaround or the Crater Creator, but I don't think you realize that yet. I will walk out of Riptide with the Great Lakes Heavyweight Title, Maelstrom...if that's what it takes to get you to realize that I truly can help you, that's what I'll have to do. I won't give up so easily, Maelstrom. I'm not a quitter, no...I'm a Man...
(Camera zooms in on Cannonball's eyes)
Cannonball Kidd: ...with a Message.
(Fade out)
J
JLebron
Guest
Like a Man would to a Kidd
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-25-03 AT 00:41 AM (EST)](FADE IN:..... to a plain GLCW backdrop just as Maelstrom strolls on to the set, dragging of course, the GLCW Heavyweight Title in tow behind him. He has a smirk on his face and chuckles lightly before speaking....)
MAELSTROM: Funny Kidd, how ya can talk so much 'bout the same exact thing and STILL say absolutely nothin'. Ya judge an' point accusin', derogatory fingers all 'round yet never bother to gaze upon yer own reflection. I mean really Kidd, just HOW many different ways do ya think ya can recycle the same ol' tripe? I mean, I thought ya were a .....
(pauses as he gives a sarcastic grin)
MAELSTROM: .... MAN WITH A MESSAGE? I would think a man with a message would actually have something WORTH saying other than repetitive gibberish. But hey, maybe that IS yer message eh? Just maybe, yer message is symbolic of yer pose?
(winks)
MAELSTROM: Let's face it Kidd, the only one that believes in yer "MESSAGES" is..... YOU! But there really is no surprise there, particularly since you've blatantly contradicted yerself by stating that the only reason Man Of Action is 'round is to ensure a "fair" match. Was that also the case when ya faced Poe? Or are ya givin' new meaning to the word "fair"? Face it Kidd, the ONLY thing ya wanna ensure with the Man Of Action, is yet another questionable win for ya.
(shrugs his shoulders non-chalantly)
MAELSTROM: It's all good though, I mean if yer so certain ya can beat me, then why all the need for yer Action bud? Hell, ya don't see me comin' down with anyone..... never have an' never will. But then, that's one of the major differences 'tween you and me. I don't front an' hide behind ready-made excuses..... like yer doin'! Ya wanna go on an' THINK that yer influencing the manner in which I cut my mic spots..... by all means, by my guest. An' actually, in a sense, ya ARE right. Those promos I cut Kidd, weren't born as the result of yer critiques..... not by a long shot. Rather, they were inspired by nothin' more than the sheer amusement ya inspire in men. But if it soothes that fragile ego of yers, then by all means, delude yerself further into thinkin' otherwise. Hell, maybe you should consider havin' Man of Action speakin' for ya since yer obviously at a loss for any new thoughts, let alone any worth listenin' to.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: I don't sweat ya though Kidd. Ya can insult me all ya want..... I don't mind, ya see cuz ya basically don't matter to me. Yer just like all the other pretenders I've faced thus far..... ya play out yer "routine"..... milkin' it way past the point that it loses its appeal..... then point an incriminatin' finger, tryin' to divert attention away from yer own inadequacies..... much like a little kid does Kidd. I don't say this to mock ya though......
(grins facetiously)
MAELSTROM: I'm just tellin' it like it is...... sorta like a father would to a son, but in our case, more appropriately..... like a MAN would to a Kidd....
(Maelstrom nods knowingly as he winks in a mocking manner, giving a very animated A-OK sign with his hand, just as the cameras begin to ..... FADE OUT.....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-25-03 AT 00:41 AM (EST)](FADE IN:..... to a plain GLCW backdrop just as Maelstrom strolls on to the set, dragging of course, the GLCW Heavyweight Title in tow behind him. He has a smirk on his face and chuckles lightly before speaking....)
MAELSTROM: Funny Kidd, how ya can talk so much 'bout the same exact thing and STILL say absolutely nothin'. Ya judge an' point accusin', derogatory fingers all 'round yet never bother to gaze upon yer own reflection. I mean really Kidd, just HOW many different ways do ya think ya can recycle the same ol' tripe? I mean, I thought ya were a .....
(pauses as he gives a sarcastic grin)
MAELSTROM: .... MAN WITH A MESSAGE? I would think a man with a message would actually have something WORTH saying other than repetitive gibberish. But hey, maybe that IS yer message eh? Just maybe, yer message is symbolic of yer pose?
(winks)
MAELSTROM: Let's face it Kidd, the only one that believes in yer "MESSAGES" is..... YOU! But there really is no surprise there, particularly since you've blatantly contradicted yerself by stating that the only reason Man Of Action is 'round is to ensure a "fair" match. Was that also the case when ya faced Poe? Or are ya givin' new meaning to the word "fair"? Face it Kidd, the ONLY thing ya wanna ensure with the Man Of Action, is yet another questionable win for ya.
(shrugs his shoulders non-chalantly)
MAELSTROM: It's all good though, I mean if yer so certain ya can beat me, then why all the need for yer Action bud? Hell, ya don't see me comin' down with anyone..... never have an' never will. But then, that's one of the major differences 'tween you and me. I don't front an' hide behind ready-made excuses..... like yer doin'! Ya wanna go on an' THINK that yer influencing the manner in which I cut my mic spots..... by all means, by my guest. An' actually, in a sense, ya ARE right. Those promos I cut Kidd, weren't born as the result of yer critiques..... not by a long shot. Rather, they were inspired by nothin' more than the sheer amusement ya inspire in men. But if it soothes that fragile ego of yers, then by all means, delude yerself further into thinkin' otherwise. Hell, maybe you should consider havin' Man of Action speakin' for ya since yer obviously at a loss for any new thoughts, let alone any worth listenin' to.
(shakes his head disparagingly)
MAELSTROM: I don't sweat ya though Kidd. Ya can insult me all ya want..... I don't mind, ya see cuz ya basically don't matter to me. Yer just like all the other pretenders I've faced thus far..... ya play out yer "routine"..... milkin' it way past the point that it loses its appeal..... then point an incriminatin' finger, tryin' to divert attention away from yer own inadequacies..... much like a little kid does Kidd. I don't say this to mock ya though......
(grins facetiously)
MAELSTROM: I'm just tellin' it like it is...... sorta like a father would to a son, but in our case, more appropriately..... like a MAN would to a Kidd....
(Maelstrom nods knowingly as he winks in a mocking manner, giving a very animated A-OK sign with his hand, just as the cameras begin to ..... FADE OUT.....)