TBirdSCIL
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All RP for this match goes here.
MAIN EVENT: Jobber vs. Angel Castillo
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
ChrisHorowitz
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(Cue up "The Sky is Falling and I want My Mommy" by Jello Biafra and No Means No.)
(Fade in to the Whitelandia compound owned by The Jobber. Cut to the living room of said compound, and the couch where The Jobber seems to have taken up permanent residence.)
The Jobber: Another match, and another enigma. In my last test I faced a Lost Cause, and though I never discovered what this cause was, he fell before me in battle none the less. I don't know if my next opponent has a cause, even if it is a Lost cause, and right now I know very little about him. What I do know is enough to strike fear into the heart of any man. This man Angel is a Cuban... A Cuban who likes his fruit, his soup, and his chowder. Angel joins a line of the many varied Cuban wrestlers we have seen over the years, a proud tradition of men from our island neighbor. Seperating Angel from this tradition is that his name is not "Fidel" and his love of chowder. This love of chowder seems to seperate him as a new generation of Cuban wrestler. While the Cuban wrestlers of lore lived only on the thick broth of competition, this new breed thrives on Clam Chowder. Perhaps the Clam Chowder is some sort of metaphor. A metaphor for what I cannot say. One cannot begin to think what a man might use a dish as delightful as Clam Chowder as a symbol of.
(A beep is heard in the backround.)
The Jobber: Ah, that must be a steamy bowl of that delightful chowder right now.
(Cut to, five minutes later, and the Jobber finishing up a delightful bowl of Clam Chowder.)
The Jobber: Devilishly effective isn't it "El Diablo"? The fear that is in your heart now must be at a boiling point. Seeing another man with a bowl of Clam Chowder, how can you suffer the torment that is this vision? Or perhaps this doesn't strike fear into your heart at all. Perhaps you see this as ridiculous. "Why is this man eating Clam Chowder on national television? What does this have to do with our match? How does this relate to the game of human chess that is wrestling?" Perhaps you will go back and ask yourself these same questions.
Right now I know that you are Cuban. Not only Cuban, but annoyingly Cuban. I'm not sure what the point of it all was, was your opponent supposed to scream out "Look, he's Cuban, and does all of these things that are stereotypical of those that live on islands, I MUST RUN IN FEAR!" I suppose with an opponent who was but one of the faceless masses that seem to inhabit the GLCW this could be an effective tactic. I must hope that your tactics will be more advanced this time around. Your love of chowder will not give you the advantage in this contest El Diablo, and neither will your island nation's stereotypes. After the Lost Cause I didn't think I would have to take an opponent so lightly again. I didn't think that another person would be so out of touch with reality. Angel, I hoped you would provide me with a challenge. I hoped that I would be tested, so I could see if I was still as good as I have always believed I am. But it is obvious that you will simply be another speed bump on my way to the GLCW title. It is a shame, as I doubt the large chunks of food found in New England Clam Chowder may be fed to you through a tube. But I'm sure the hospital will think of something to satisfy your love of food.
(Fade out.)
(Fade in to the Whitelandia compound owned by The Jobber. Cut to the living room of said compound, and the couch where The Jobber seems to have taken up permanent residence.)
The Jobber: Another match, and another enigma. In my last test I faced a Lost Cause, and though I never discovered what this cause was, he fell before me in battle none the less. I don't know if my next opponent has a cause, even if it is a Lost cause, and right now I know very little about him. What I do know is enough to strike fear into the heart of any man. This man Angel is a Cuban... A Cuban who likes his fruit, his soup, and his chowder. Angel joins a line of the many varied Cuban wrestlers we have seen over the years, a proud tradition of men from our island neighbor. Seperating Angel from this tradition is that his name is not "Fidel" and his love of chowder. This love of chowder seems to seperate him as a new generation of Cuban wrestler. While the Cuban wrestlers of lore lived only on the thick broth of competition, this new breed thrives on Clam Chowder. Perhaps the Clam Chowder is some sort of metaphor. A metaphor for what I cannot say. One cannot begin to think what a man might use a dish as delightful as Clam Chowder as a symbol of.
(A beep is heard in the backround.)
The Jobber: Ah, that must be a steamy bowl of that delightful chowder right now.
(Cut to, five minutes later, and the Jobber finishing up a delightful bowl of Clam Chowder.)
The Jobber: Devilishly effective isn't it "El Diablo"? The fear that is in your heart now must be at a boiling point. Seeing another man with a bowl of Clam Chowder, how can you suffer the torment that is this vision? Or perhaps this doesn't strike fear into your heart at all. Perhaps you see this as ridiculous. "Why is this man eating Clam Chowder on national television? What does this have to do with our match? How does this relate to the game of human chess that is wrestling?" Perhaps you will go back and ask yourself these same questions.
Right now I know that you are Cuban. Not only Cuban, but annoyingly Cuban. I'm not sure what the point of it all was, was your opponent supposed to scream out "Look, he's Cuban, and does all of these things that are stereotypical of those that live on islands, I MUST RUN IN FEAR!" I suppose with an opponent who was but one of the faceless masses that seem to inhabit the GLCW this could be an effective tactic. I must hope that your tactics will be more advanced this time around. Your love of chowder will not give you the advantage in this contest El Diablo, and neither will your island nation's stereotypes. After the Lost Cause I didn't think I would have to take an opponent so lightly again. I didn't think that another person would be so out of touch with reality. Angel, I hoped you would provide me with a challenge. I hoped that I would be tested, so I could see if I was still as good as I have always believed I am. But it is obvious that you will simply be another speed bump on my way to the GLCW title. It is a shame, as I doubt the large chunks of food found in New England Clam Chowder may be fed to you through a tube. But I'm sure the hospital will think of something to satisfy your love of food.
(Fade out.)
Diablo
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La cocina criolla
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-11-02 AT 05:58 PM (EDT)](FADEIN: "El Diablo"n Angel Castillo seated in his apartment in Humboldt Park, a suburb of Chicago Il. He is seated on the couch near his kitchenette. We can see steam coming from the area of the kitchenette, so we infer something is cooking.)
Castillo: Well, Jobber, all I really can say is...well...I guess it wouldn't be saying anything but rather letting out a groan of disgust. To really think that I, Angel Castillo, love clam chowder? That, sir, is an insult not only to me, but to my taste in cuisine. I said that maybe it can serve as a snack, but perhaps just to poor college boys and potheads, but that's only because they'll eat anything. I, myself, have a more sophisticated palate than clam chowder. In fact...I have something cooking right now that could please just about anybody...
(the sound of a kitchen timer going off is heard, El Diablo arises and goes to the kitchenette, grabs an oven mitt, and lifts the lid on a pan and a pot, the pot containing rice, and the pan containing a simmering mixture of bell peppers, onions, garlic, and chicken breasts. He pours the latter into the pot with the rice, and puts the lid back on, and looks at his over mitt, then the camera.)
Castillo: What? You never saw a man who likes to cook before? Anyway, that, Arroz con pollo it is called, was something my taste buds are a little more accustomed to. That is something with flavor, something with spice, something that stands out, something with esfuerza. (takes a few sniffs) Ahhh, yes....back home we use to call this smell "Cuban perfume". Simmering olive oil with peppers and garlic never cease to attract the nose of a latin man. Now, Jobber, as Steven James failed to see and was thus trounced for, like that enjoyable rice dish I am something that has variety and some hidden subtleties, a surprise to those who have never experienced it before. You say you want a challenge? Well, I believe you slurped up more of the proverbial clam chowder than you can swallow. Jobber, with your bland Whitelandia upbringing, prepare for something a little...¡¡¡PICANTE!!!
(FTB)
------------------------------
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans"
-John Lennon
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-11-02 AT 05:58 PM (EDT)](FADEIN: "El Diablo"n Angel Castillo seated in his apartment in Humboldt Park, a suburb of Chicago Il. He is seated on the couch near his kitchenette. We can see steam coming from the area of the kitchenette, so we infer something is cooking.)
Castillo: Well, Jobber, all I really can say is...well...I guess it wouldn't be saying anything but rather letting out a groan of disgust. To really think that I, Angel Castillo, love clam chowder? That, sir, is an insult not only to me, but to my taste in cuisine. I said that maybe it can serve as a snack, but perhaps just to poor college boys and potheads, but that's only because they'll eat anything. I, myself, have a more sophisticated palate than clam chowder. In fact...I have something cooking right now that could please just about anybody...
(the sound of a kitchen timer going off is heard, El Diablo arises and goes to the kitchenette, grabs an oven mitt, and lifts the lid on a pan and a pot, the pot containing rice, and the pan containing a simmering mixture of bell peppers, onions, garlic, and chicken breasts. He pours the latter into the pot with the rice, and puts the lid back on, and looks at his over mitt, then the camera.)
Castillo: What? You never saw a man who likes to cook before? Anyway, that, Arroz con pollo it is called, was something my taste buds are a little more accustomed to. That is something with flavor, something with spice, something that stands out, something with esfuerza. (takes a few sniffs) Ahhh, yes....back home we use to call this smell "Cuban perfume". Simmering olive oil with peppers and garlic never cease to attract the nose of a latin man. Now, Jobber, as Steven James failed to see and was thus trounced for, like that enjoyable rice dish I am something that has variety and some hidden subtleties, a surprise to those who have never experienced it before. You say you want a challenge? Well, I believe you slurped up more of the proverbial clam chowder than you can swallow. Jobber, with your bland Whitelandia upbringing, prepare for something a little...¡¡¡PICANTE!!!
(FTB)
------------------------------
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans"
-John Lennon
ChrisHorowitz
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- Jan 1, 2000
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- 123
- Points
- 0
The Master Chef Prepares for Battle
(Cue up "Cars Hiss By My Window" by the Doors.)
(Fade into the Whitelandia compound of the Jobber. Cut to, the rec room, where we see the Jobber seated in front of the room's trophy cases. Same look, same clothes, same haircut as he always has, maybe he's a bit more unshaven than last time... Who knows.)
The Jobber: I believe I owe you an apology El Diablo. It would seem you aren't simply the collaboration of the traits of each Cuban. No, it would seem you are the rebirth of just one fictional Cuban. El Diablo, you have watched far too many episodes of I Love Lucy. Yes, it's a touching tribute to the great Desi Arnaz to display your love of chicken and rice, and I'm sure your soon to be shown love of the bongo drums, Babalu, and uh... whatever else you Cubans do will be just as thrilling as your adventures in the kitchen. El Diablo, you may believe that Cuba is the hotbed of culture and history in the world, but frankly that country, hell the entire region has contributed one thing to the world, and that's cock fighting. That's probably more Mexican than Cuban, but you Cubans can steal it so you at least have one thing going for you. Other than that Cubans, and especially Cuban Americans just sit on their asses waiting for Castro to die so they can go back to their country and try and convince people they didn't get their butts kicked during the Bay of Pigs. Don't care to bring that part of your culture up El Diablo? I don't blame you, it doesn't really paint the sophisticated cultured view of Cuba that only Chicken and rice can paint. Then there's the Cuban tradition of dictatorial rule, over 100 years without a free society... Nah, guess you wouldn't want to raise that as your battle flag here in the GLCW. But really, what else can you say about Cuba? It was just a poor banana republic for so long, a country that existed only so the Mafia could run casinos there. I'm really not seeing the variety and "hidden subtleties" of Cuban culture here El Diablo. Since that's what you seem to base your entire life around, I really don't see how you being "chicken and rice" will cause me to run from the ring screaming in terror. All I see is a kid who beat some 4th rate hack and now think's he's hot stuff. The stuff in this case being a dish of chicken and rice.
(The Jobber looks off to the side for a bit, and shakes his head, trying to get away from the tangent he has been on.)
The Jobber: Enough of that, instead I must wonder what this "Picante" you constantly refer to is. Since this "something" picante obviously refers to you, and since you are the personification of Cuban Culture, Tradition and history, I must assume "picante" means "a repressed person who is constantly under the boot of the Americans." In this case El Diablo, I would certaintly be willing to try something a bit "picante" as I wouldn't want to be the one to pass up the chance to bring back an old tradition. A tradition that began with the Spanish American War, and ended with Castro, this tradition of service to whitey is one I am happy to bring back to life in our match. Until then I suggest you continue to create perfumes that will attract the latin men, and fatten yourself up on chicken and rice, for I can think of no better way to prepare for battle than for you to find a nice man to comfort you after your loss.
(Fade out)
(Cue up "Cars Hiss By My Window" by the Doors.)
(Fade into the Whitelandia compound of the Jobber. Cut to, the rec room, where we see the Jobber seated in front of the room's trophy cases. Same look, same clothes, same haircut as he always has, maybe he's a bit more unshaven than last time... Who knows.)
The Jobber: I believe I owe you an apology El Diablo. It would seem you aren't simply the collaboration of the traits of each Cuban. No, it would seem you are the rebirth of just one fictional Cuban. El Diablo, you have watched far too many episodes of I Love Lucy. Yes, it's a touching tribute to the great Desi Arnaz to display your love of chicken and rice, and I'm sure your soon to be shown love of the bongo drums, Babalu, and uh... whatever else you Cubans do will be just as thrilling as your adventures in the kitchen. El Diablo, you may believe that Cuba is the hotbed of culture and history in the world, but frankly that country, hell the entire region has contributed one thing to the world, and that's cock fighting. That's probably more Mexican than Cuban, but you Cubans can steal it so you at least have one thing going for you. Other than that Cubans, and especially Cuban Americans just sit on their asses waiting for Castro to die so they can go back to their country and try and convince people they didn't get their butts kicked during the Bay of Pigs. Don't care to bring that part of your culture up El Diablo? I don't blame you, it doesn't really paint the sophisticated cultured view of Cuba that only Chicken and rice can paint. Then there's the Cuban tradition of dictatorial rule, over 100 years without a free society... Nah, guess you wouldn't want to raise that as your battle flag here in the GLCW. But really, what else can you say about Cuba? It was just a poor banana republic for so long, a country that existed only so the Mafia could run casinos there. I'm really not seeing the variety and "hidden subtleties" of Cuban culture here El Diablo. Since that's what you seem to base your entire life around, I really don't see how you being "chicken and rice" will cause me to run from the ring screaming in terror. All I see is a kid who beat some 4th rate hack and now think's he's hot stuff. The stuff in this case being a dish of chicken and rice.
(The Jobber looks off to the side for a bit, and shakes his head, trying to get away from the tangent he has been on.)
The Jobber: Enough of that, instead I must wonder what this "Picante" you constantly refer to is. Since this "something" picante obviously refers to you, and since you are the personification of Cuban Culture, Tradition and history, I must assume "picante" means "a repressed person who is constantly under the boot of the Americans." In this case El Diablo, I would certaintly be willing to try something a bit "picante" as I wouldn't want to be the one to pass up the chance to bring back an old tradition. A tradition that began with the Spanish American War, and ended with Castro, this tradition of service to whitey is one I am happy to bring back to life in our match. Until then I suggest you continue to create perfumes that will attract the latin men, and fatten yourself up on chicken and rice, for I can think of no better way to prepare for battle than for you to find a nice man to comfort you after your loss.
(Fade out)
Diablo
League Member
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- Jan 1, 2000
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- 155
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- 35
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- Miami, Florida
- Website
- www.lethalwrestling.com
Allez Babalu!
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-13-02 AT 00:52 AM (EDT)](FADEIN: "El Diablo" Angel Castillo is still in his apartment, seated on the couch, dressed in black muscle shirt and khakis. His hair is wrapped in a white hachimaki-style bandana.)
Castillo: Mr. Jobber, I was gonna let it slide when you made fun of my country, etc. I admit, we're not all great just because we're Cuban. That's why I moved to Chicago, so I didn't have to associate with the filthy Miami Cubans any longer...yuck. But NOW...NOW I take the utmost offense because you have the unmitigated...uh...unmitigated AUDACITY to insult one of the greatest icons of my culture and country that perhaps ever lived? I am scuttled. Let me show you something...
(El Diablo stands up from the couch and walks to a door that we can assume is a closet of some type.)
Castillo: I don't usually show this to alot of people, it's very special to me...
(He swings the closet door open and we see several tall, neat stacks of tapes, marked in big letters on the label "I LOVE LUCY" followed by episode numbers.)
Castillo: Yes, it is true. I, El Diablo, Angel Castillo, own one of the most comprehensive video libraries of I love Lucy in the State of Illinois. All six seasons, all 179 episodes, PLUS the pilot. Every single episode from Lucy meets Bob Hope to Harpo Marx to everyone in between. But, WHY. WHY do you own all these tapes, you ask. I tell you why. Because, I admire that one man. That legendary man they called Desi Arnaz. Not just because he was latino, oh no. But because he was the epitome of all that was right with Cubans, in a better time when they were not just stagnating in South Beach waiting for Don Quijote to die. His charisma; unmatchable, his looks; irresistable to even the butchest woman. And he posessed and utilized that most important quality, his latino rythym. Yes, when he beat the bongo, it was like he poured his soul, all his life into the rich sound only he could produce. I strive, lord knows I strive, to be like just like him.
(tears start to well up Angel's eyes, as he closes the closet door and we see a poster of Desi Arnaz on the wall next to the door frame...that we apparently never noticed before...)
Castillo: The specimen of latino excellence that was Desi Arnaz may never be surpassed in our lifetime, but I hope to one day have that same pulsating rythym in my soul, to be as...well...Cuban, as superior to all others of his trade, as Desi Arnaz. Now...if you'll excuse me...
(El Diablo gets really teary and looks at the Desi Arnaz poster with a really emotional look on his face as we FTB)
------------------------------
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans"
-John Lennon
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-13-02 AT 00:52 AM (EDT)](FADEIN: "El Diablo" Angel Castillo is still in his apartment, seated on the couch, dressed in black muscle shirt and khakis. His hair is wrapped in a white hachimaki-style bandana.)
Castillo: Mr. Jobber, I was gonna let it slide when you made fun of my country, etc. I admit, we're not all great just because we're Cuban. That's why I moved to Chicago, so I didn't have to associate with the filthy Miami Cubans any longer...yuck. But NOW...NOW I take the utmost offense because you have the unmitigated...uh...unmitigated AUDACITY to insult one of the greatest icons of my culture and country that perhaps ever lived? I am scuttled. Let me show you something...
(El Diablo stands up from the couch and walks to a door that we can assume is a closet of some type.)
Castillo: I don't usually show this to alot of people, it's very special to me...
(He swings the closet door open and we see several tall, neat stacks of tapes, marked in big letters on the label "I LOVE LUCY" followed by episode numbers.)
Castillo: Yes, it is true. I, El Diablo, Angel Castillo, own one of the most comprehensive video libraries of I love Lucy in the State of Illinois. All six seasons, all 179 episodes, PLUS the pilot. Every single episode from Lucy meets Bob Hope to Harpo Marx to everyone in between. But, WHY. WHY do you own all these tapes, you ask. I tell you why. Because, I admire that one man. That legendary man they called Desi Arnaz. Not just because he was latino, oh no. But because he was the epitome of all that was right with Cubans, in a better time when they were not just stagnating in South Beach waiting for Don Quijote to die. His charisma; unmatchable, his looks; irresistable to even the butchest woman. And he posessed and utilized that most important quality, his latino rythym. Yes, when he beat the bongo, it was like he poured his soul, all his life into the rich sound only he could produce. I strive, lord knows I strive, to be like just like him.
(tears start to well up Angel's eyes, as he closes the closet door and we see a poster of Desi Arnaz on the wall next to the door frame...that we apparently never noticed before...)
Castillo: The specimen of latino excellence that was Desi Arnaz may never be surpassed in our lifetime, but I hope to one day have that same pulsating rythym in my soul, to be as...well...Cuban, as superior to all others of his trade, as Desi Arnaz. Now...if you'll excuse me...
(El Diablo gets really teary and looks at the Desi Arnaz poster with a really emotional look on his face as we FTB)
------------------------------
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans"
-John Lennon
ChrisHorowitz
League Member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 123
- Points
- 0
Strange
(Cue up "Macho Insecurity" by Dead Kennedys.)
(Fade in to the Whitelandia compound of the Jobber. Cut to the study, where the Jobber sits, a copy of "The Salmon of Doubt" in front of him. The Jobber puts the book to the side, and then faces the camera.)
The Jobber: An entirely expected development on your part El Diablo. A strange one, and one that will bring you many problems in the Hispanic community. Claiming that Desi Arnez, the man who played Ricky Ricardo is the archetype of what it is to be Cuban male? Now, if I'm not mistaken the most important thing in a Hispanic man's life is to be Macho. To be strong, to prove his manliness. But you pick as your personal hero Ricky Ricardo?
You may wonder why I say this. Why would it be odd, and downright insulting to the Hispanic population that you speak of Ricky Ricardo as the specimen of Latino excellence? Well its simple. In 90% of the episodes of I Love Lucy, what happens by the end of the episode? I'll help you out here, in each episode Ricky is made to look like a fool by his wife Lucy. Lucy proves she is the superior intellect to Ricky. Ricky loses a bet, Lucy gets in the show, Lucy gets the bigger fish, Lucy makes Ricky look like a fool in golf. In almost every episode a woman shows her dominance over a man. Would any macho Latino stand for this? Of course not.
It's no wonder I had a feeling you would be a push over El Diablo. Your hero is a man who was constantly beaten by a woman. You choose to base your life around him, you worship him, while he could only out smart his wife maybe a handful of times. Why should I even be bothered with such a small, weak man as you El Diablo? In a sport such as this, I'd expect a man to have a hero who could put up a fight. A man with some backbone. Instead you look up to someone who constantly gives in, a man who talks big, but when push comes to shove he would rather surrender than fight. Do you even believe that I should take you seriously El Diablo? Can you think of a reason why you should be taken seriously? If you hope to some day be just like a man with no fight in him, what kind of man are you now? Even in real life Desi lost to his wife. Who controlled Desilu studios? Balle did, not Desi. Arnez was always the man behind the woman El Diablo, and now you stand here trying to prove something by claiming him as your idol. I am sure my words have struck you straight in the heart, and that you will rise up to defend your feminine role model, the man who left his wife win, the man who could not stand up to anyone, and even now after his death will require his most devoted follower to stand up and defend his lifetime of submission.
Perhaps it is time for you to choose a new role model El Diablo. One a man could be proud to claim as his idol, a man who is truely one step above the rest. As I stand here, on the eve of my second victory in the GLCW, the eve of another step to my crowning as GLCW champion, I can only think that instead of looking up to the submissive Ricky Ricardo, maybe just maybe you could look up to a man who despite lacking any Latino blood is the epitome of everything you Latinos hold true in being a "real man." As you stare up at the lights for those first three seconds, and after that as many more that it takes for you to be helped up off your back, think of these words, and try to imagine how much better off your life would be if you had fashioned it after a strong willed man, or even a strong willed woman, for anyone is stronger than the weak and pathetic Desi Arnez.
(Fade out)
(Cue up "Macho Insecurity" by Dead Kennedys.)
(Fade in to the Whitelandia compound of the Jobber. Cut to the study, where the Jobber sits, a copy of "The Salmon of Doubt" in front of him. The Jobber puts the book to the side, and then faces the camera.)
The Jobber: An entirely expected development on your part El Diablo. A strange one, and one that will bring you many problems in the Hispanic community. Claiming that Desi Arnez, the man who played Ricky Ricardo is the archetype of what it is to be Cuban male? Now, if I'm not mistaken the most important thing in a Hispanic man's life is to be Macho. To be strong, to prove his manliness. But you pick as your personal hero Ricky Ricardo?
You may wonder why I say this. Why would it be odd, and downright insulting to the Hispanic population that you speak of Ricky Ricardo as the specimen of Latino excellence? Well its simple. In 90% of the episodes of I Love Lucy, what happens by the end of the episode? I'll help you out here, in each episode Ricky is made to look like a fool by his wife Lucy. Lucy proves she is the superior intellect to Ricky. Ricky loses a bet, Lucy gets in the show, Lucy gets the bigger fish, Lucy makes Ricky look like a fool in golf. In almost every episode a woman shows her dominance over a man. Would any macho Latino stand for this? Of course not.
It's no wonder I had a feeling you would be a push over El Diablo. Your hero is a man who was constantly beaten by a woman. You choose to base your life around him, you worship him, while he could only out smart his wife maybe a handful of times. Why should I even be bothered with such a small, weak man as you El Diablo? In a sport such as this, I'd expect a man to have a hero who could put up a fight. A man with some backbone. Instead you look up to someone who constantly gives in, a man who talks big, but when push comes to shove he would rather surrender than fight. Do you even believe that I should take you seriously El Diablo? Can you think of a reason why you should be taken seriously? If you hope to some day be just like a man with no fight in him, what kind of man are you now? Even in real life Desi lost to his wife. Who controlled Desilu studios? Balle did, not Desi. Arnez was always the man behind the woman El Diablo, and now you stand here trying to prove something by claiming him as your idol. I am sure my words have struck you straight in the heart, and that you will rise up to defend your feminine role model, the man who left his wife win, the man who could not stand up to anyone, and even now after his death will require his most devoted follower to stand up and defend his lifetime of submission.
Perhaps it is time for you to choose a new role model El Diablo. One a man could be proud to claim as his idol, a man who is truely one step above the rest. As I stand here, on the eve of my second victory in the GLCW, the eve of another step to my crowning as GLCW champion, I can only think that instead of looking up to the submissive Ricky Ricardo, maybe just maybe you could look up to a man who despite lacking any Latino blood is the epitome of everything you Latinos hold true in being a "real man." As you stare up at the lights for those first three seconds, and after that as many more that it takes for you to be helped up off your back, think of these words, and try to imagine how much better off your life would be if you had fashioned it after a strong willed man, or even a strong willed woman, for anyone is stronger than the weak and pathetic Desi Arnez.
(Fade out)