Quick Shot of AWESOMENESS
The Club - 2 A.M.
Kicking back amidst the fake go-go dancers, faux patrons, and muzak of the makeshift club scene is New Era Heavyweight Champion SHAWN JESSICA HART, PhD. Sitting alone at a table, the sweet gyrations of his private dancer's supple booty in his face are visible as the camera closes on his smiling mug. Upon reaching its destination, SJH looks into it and speaks.
SJH: "Praise the maker for the invention of the female form!"
He gives that ass a quick tap.
SJH: "YO - Pro Wrestling's SJH here, and as I sit amongst my fellow creatures of the night, taking in the sounds... and the sights..."
He glances up at the posterior that sways before him.
SJH: "...I can't help but reflect upon the chain of events that led to me being here; gettin' in on the WFW:NE merger, setting the place ablaze, and surviving the subsequent divorce to emerge as the NEW New Era CHAMP, reclaiming my former title in grand fashion, adding to my ever-growing stash of GOLD and cementing my status as the HOTTEST thing in the industry! I mean WOW.... talk about a roller coaster ride, huh?"
Hart chuckles to himself, then reaches into his pocket, retrieves a dollar (Yep.. ONE dollar) and places it into the thong strap moving before his eyes.
SJH: "But as with every other roller coaster, each high is followed by a series of turns and twists and sudden drops before you reach the end of the line. This week, that 360 whirly-twirl comes in the form of a 6-man tag-team MAIN EVENT; Yours truly and the Dogs of War versus JACK, HOFF, and the creepiest of man-harlots, the contemptible PETER FILE!"
SJH shakes his head quite disgustedly.
SJH: "A lesser man might fold under the constant pressure of such a gauntlet. HELL, I just went through a veritable who's who of Empire Pro Wrestling, New Era, and NGEN stars in a barrage of matches at the Sin City Showdown, and now... only DAYS LATER, I've got this and other bouts to contend with. I mean, my workrate is SICK! But ya know what?!"
He stares inquisitively into the camera.
SJH: "Well.... DO YOU?"
Shawn chuckles at himself before trudging forward.
SJH: "Heh, honestly... I wouldn't have it any other way! Cuz carrying the straps that I carry mark my sweet, succulent ass as the bee's knees, the BEST of the BEST in this business, and so long as I hold 'em, I intend to go out there each and EVERY NIGHT and prove to the masses that I DESERVE those labels! Call it a mockery, call it an OUTRAGE, I call it the TRUTH! And the truth of the matter is that despite the constant roadblocks on my path to glory, the Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister will always come out on top!
So Peter File, Jack N Hoff, hit me with your best shots! Cuz I am rubber, you are GLUE, and every bit of bullsh(FCC)t you toss at me is gonna bounce off me and B(FCC)TCHSLAP YOU!"
SJH: "See you in the ring, boys. The PHENOM has left the building!"