(CUE UP: --)
Magnus Destructo
FUCK THAT SHIT!! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ALL THE FRILLY SHIT!!
(Open up on Magnus Destructo, before a custom IGC banner. Instead of the Space Invader looking pixelated as it normally does, it today comes in the form of a blood spatter. The Baron of Brutality still bears a number of scars on his face and body that look only hastily stitched together. He doesn't seem to mind them, however, as he greets us with a tyrannical sneer, the battle wounds making the monster look only more monstrous.)
Magnus Destructo
LOOK UPON ME, YOU NARROW-MINDED DOUBTERS AND NEEDLE-DICKED HATERS!! LOOK UPON THE EMBATTLED FACE OF THE BARON OF BRUTALITY!!
STILL THINK I'M A FAKE?! STILL THINK I'M AN IMPOSTER!?
OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES, YOU WORTHLESS SACKS OF MEAT, BONE, BLOOD, AND SHIT!! NO PAIN IS TOO GREAT TO OVERCOME MY NEED TO MAKE YOU SUFFER!! NO FLESH IS TOO PRECIOUS TO LEAVE UNCUT WHEN CONTROL OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS ON THE LINE!!
I MET THE SUPERBEAST IN THE MONSTER'S BALL AND ONCE AGAIN PROVED WHY I AM THE ONE AND ONLY KING OF ALL MONSTERS!! AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT ABOUT INTERFERENCE!! IF I RECALL, THE RULES OF THE MATCH WERE THAT WEAPONS WERE ALLOWED... AND GOLLOMOCH'S FAT ASS IS AS LEGIT AS A WEAPON AS ANY OTHER!!
BOO FUCKING HOO IF THE GRAIN SYLO DIDN'T READ THE FINE PRINT... HE CAN AT LEAST DIE EASY KNOWING HE IS ONE OF VERY FEW WHO COULD STEP UP AND MAKE THE GREAT BARON OF DESTRUCTO BLEED AND LIVE TO TELL ABOUT IT!! IT'S JUST TOO BAD THAT LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE WORTHLESS, INSIGNIFICANT, AND WEAK, COMPARED TO THE GREAT ACCOLADES GAINED BY MY CONQUESTS!!
THE NEXT OF WHICH BEING... THE INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP!!
THE TIME HAS COME ONCE AGAIN, PHIL ATKEN!! NOW THERE'S NOBODY LEFT IN MY WAY TO COMING DOWN TO THAT RING AND RIPPING YOU A NEW EARHOLE!!
WHY WOULD YOU NEED A NEW EARHOLE, YOU MIGHT ASK?! SO YOU CAN BETTER HEAR THE SOUND OF YOURSELF SCREAMING, AS I RIP YOU A DOZEN NEW ASSHOLES, ONE KICK AT A TIME!!
THE ATKEN REIGN IN EYE-GEE-SEE IS AS DEAD AS YOU WILL BE ONCE WE ENTER THAT HICK CAPITAL CITY CALLED LOSERVILLE, KENTUCKY... AND THE GLORIOUS REIGN OF MAGNUS DESTRUCTO WILL BEGIN A NEW DARK AGE ON THIS WRETCHED PLANET!!
HA-HA!! HA-HA!! HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAWWWW!!!
(Cut to black.)
