[LOS ANGELES FINAL] (1) Sean Stevens vs. (7) Olvir Arsvinnar

[TH]

At the Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA

Stevens defeated:
The Crisco Kid
Ice Tre
MDK

Arsvinnar defeated:
Ethan Frost
Shawn Hart
Kyle Roberts

Match is one fall to a finish, no time limit. All regular rules apply. RP deadline is Thursday, May 15th at 11:59:59 PM EDT, give or take a second.

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 206 - Triple X Hardcore

(We pop open on the streets of L.A., during what appears to be an outdoor block party or music festival. Several younger types have come out and massed around a truck parked on the road, bearing a load of huge speakers loaded in the bed, pumping out at ear-pounding volumes the pulsating rhythms of techno music. Terry “The Idol” Anderson soon waddles into the frame, taking every step gingerly as though there was a soreness running across his entire body. His face winces with every step. In one hand, he has his reliable TEAM-issue microphone, and in the other, something that looks like a rolled up black fabric sealed in a plastic bag. Fighting whatever pain is troubling him, Terry’s wrinkled and aged features manage a pathetic smile for the camera.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Hello once again, fans and loyal TEAM viewers, as we leave Round 3 of the TEAM Invitational Tournament and being the wait to the ELITE EIGHT!! The four finals matches in all four regional brackets are drawing a lot of attention from the four points of the globe… but ONE of those matches, taking place HERE in the City of Angels, is drawing a bit more attention than the rest, as one of the greatest professional wrestlers in the sport today goes head to head with one of the industry’s fastest rising stars!

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

(The camera pans over to the right, where a small ring has formed around the mammoth human specimen clad in fur, leather, bronze, and ivory, much of his perfect masculine form exposed. It could only be expected that the steady, sexual pounding of the music alerted this libidinal-crazed Norsemen to the scene.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
REMEMBER…

The GREAT OLVIR doesn’t dance to the MUSIC…

…the MUSIC dances to the GREAT OLVIR!! HA HA HA HA!!

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

(Olvir Arsvinnar puts his enormous body to work in the most tribal and bombastic dance step that involves a lot of stomping, karate-style arm-chopping, and pelvic thrusting. The men who have gathered to witness this can only watch this amazing performance in shock and awe… while the women seem absolutely mesmerized. Particularly, they seem fascinated in that irresistible bulge forming right below his washboard abs.)

"TRIPLE X HARDCORE"​

​

(Terry enters the frame, cringing with every excruciating step, seemingly too occupied with his own dilemma than to take notice of Olvir’s amazing Norse “skillz”. He tries rearranging something around the crotch of his pants, until Viking abruptly stops breaking down and bounds over to the reporter, stepping away from the other dancers to exchange words with the down-on-his-luck ex-professional wrestler.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Well Olvir… obviously, you’re out having a good time…

Olvir Arsvinnar
INDEED!! Yust as I had foreseen, my GREATNESS vanquished the honorable Kyle of the Roberts, in all of his STYLE! The taste of victory is as SWEET as any fine virgin womb!!

Still, my most noble opponent, with his gracious praise and spirited attempt to stop THAT which cannot be stopped, PROVED himself on that night to be a most valorous competitor in the all-seeing eyes of OLVIR! In spite of facing INEVITABLE defeat at my mighty hands, he valiantly FOUGHT to the bitter end, as ANY Viking would! For that alone, he earns my sincerest and highly-coveted RESPECT!

It is for that reason that following our epic duel in the arena, when we crossed paths again behind the curtain, the GREATNESS that is Olvir extended a personal invitation to the stylish Kyle of the Roberts to appear alongside my acclaimed GREATNESS in my next pornographic feature!

A most worthy honor, to ANY man! Imagine, if you will… the two of us standing side by side… our individual RODS yutting out proudly, like glaives raised HIGH upon the battlefield... DOMINATING our respective fares in the most GLORIOUS of pagan consummation ceremonies!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Dang… that does sound awesome… if not a little gay. But just out of curiosity, Olvir, how come you’ve never invited ME to appear in any of your films?? I mean, dang, all I DO is give you praise! When do I get anything back?

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! Do not be COY, Son of Ander! Certainly you remember that you are still a BUTT-DOMINATOR-in-Training! There are still many lessons you must learn, and TRIALS you must overcome, before you can swing swords alongside the Great Olvir!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Yeah, uh… about this “training,” Olvir. It’s kinda… physically demanding, don’t you think? Like, moreso than one would typically expect.

Olvir Arsvinnar
NONSENSE!! Becoming one of the proud Norsemen MUST be as physically demanding as it could possibly be! How else could you be as strong as a GREAT VIKING such as ME?!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Yeah, but… tying a bunch of heavy rocks to the END OF MY JUNK??

(On cue, Terry raps his knuckles around his loin region. We get a gravelly sound in response, as if a heavy sack were nestled in or around his balls. He immediately winces at the pain, which is no doubt UNBEARABLE.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
What exactly is the point of THAT?!

Olvir Arsvinnar
FOOLISH Son of Ander! That is an ancient Norse custom of MANHOOD! A Viking’s LOINS are the PRIDE of his person, as much as the beard and mighty helmet! The weight in your pitiful COD is there to STRENGTHEN and FORTIFY your soon-to-be-righteous endowment! If you cannot carry a mere handful of stones, then how do you expect to STAND FIRM to the OCEAN of women that will throw themselves upon you!

Now are you going to WHINE about it like a puny, insignificant GIRLY-MAN, or will you STAND STRONG and FLEX that mighty muscle of yours?!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Hey, now… I’m not complaining! I’m just… well, you see, I’m just a wee bit concerned about irreparable damage to that region down there.

(Olvir strokes his beard in thought, looking down at the reporter’s pelvis.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Well, it IS a possibility…

(Terry’s naugahyde-orange complexion goes wan upon hearing this.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
You mean to say… there’s a chance my frank ‘n’ beans may not WORK after this?!

Olvir Arsvinnar
Maybe, maybe not… that is up to your STRENGTH to decide!

You see, the savage VIKINGS of my time used this test of endurance to separate the weak from the strong of our ilk! Those that withstood the painful burden used their empowered loins to birth DYNASTIES of great warriors! Those that proved to be too WEAK, however… were forced to live with the UTTER SHAME of having their meager manhoods turn black and FALL OFF, never to contaminate our superior breed with their most ignoble seed!

(More color drops from the reporter’s face, and for a moment, he actually looks halfway normal.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
FALL OFF?!

(A large palm slaps across his back, nearly knocking him over. Along with blasting the wind from his lungs, it also wipes away the sudden panic that washed over his face.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
TAKE COMFORT, noble Son of Ander! The Great Olvir has FAITH in your ability to be one of the STRONG!!

(Terry winces again as he is reminded of the pain downstairs… but takes in a deep breath and elects to grin and bear it, ignoring the possibility of inadvertent castration, perhaps because he, too, has faith in his own ability to succeed. He was “the IDOL” once, after all… and he’d go through HELL to be “the Idol” again!)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Okay… alright, Olvir… I can do this. But let me just try to take my mind off of the HOWLING PAIN ON MY C*CK… and focus on the task at hand.

With your hard-fought victory over Kyle Roberts now in the record books, YOU, Olvir Arsvinnar, find yourself in the FINALS of the Los Angeles bracket of the TEAM Invitational Tournament! No doubt you’re beaming with pride right now! You’ve made a big splash among the ranks of the TEAM tried and true, quickly establishing yourself as a top contender in this highly publicized contest! Immortalizing yourself as one of the prestigious FINAL FOUR is just one opponent away…

…but man, he is going to be one HELL of an opponent.

The number one seed in the L.A. bracket… the EPW King of the Cage… until recently, their World Champion… at all other times, PLANET EARTH’S CHAMPION…

“TRIPLE X”… SEAN… STEVENS…

(Terry speaks the name of legend in such away that would send it echoing across the world for the next few weeks, as is customary whenever the name is typically spoken. But in a rare moment, we are spared the blatant guffawing and forceful ejaculations, both verbal and literal in nature, that are customary of Olvir Arsvinnar. Instead, the smile on the savage Viking’s face spreads just a bit wider as he thinks of his opponent and the challenge that awaits him.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Obviously, he’s no stranger to you, being that the both of you represent Empire Pro in this tournament… and to be honest, he’s no stranger to ME either!

I still remember how he used to set that arena on FIRE every night as he graced the ring with wrestling legends like HAVOC and DREAMMAKER and ELI FLAIR and “THE SUPERSTAR” VINCE JACOBS, back in the glory years of HEW and SCW. Man, those were the days…

Hell, I’ve still got the standard-issue “Blue-Eyed Badass” t-shirt! Circa 1999!

(Promptly, he opens up the plastic bag in his other hand and unrolls the fabric. He holds up the t-shirt, kept in very good quality despite its age. It is truly one of those rare gems in professional wrestling memorabilia, all black and bearing the visage of “Triple X” Sean Stevens on the front in very clear, vibrant color print, along with his infamous moniker in bold, INSULTINGLY pointed letters. Rumor has it that the last one of these that popped up on eBay sold for five grand.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
One-hundred percent cotton… seriously, they don’t make them like this anymore!

(Terry shows the shirt to the camera, shows it to Olvir, then looks it over himself, a flood of memories falling upon him at once.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
All those famous names from the past are now considered nothing but the past in today’s much-advanced world of wrestling… and yet, Sean Stevens is STILL in this business, STILL packing arenas across the WORLD, better than he EVER was! It’s as if the ten plus years he’s put INTO this sport have taken NO TOLL whatsoever!

A guaranteed hall-of-famer… an undisputed professional wrestling legend… and now he’s standing in YOUR destructive path to the final four.

(Continuing to smile as Terry continues to praise the name of Sean Stevens, Olvir’s fingers passively run through his prominent blonde beard. His mood, typically loud, over-the-top, and always in your face, is surprisingly quiet and reserved.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Indeed, Son of Ander. What you say I know to be TRUE. This… SEAN, of the Clan Steven, has not escaped the all-seeing eye of Olvir! Long have I imagined the possibility of one day crossing paths with this warrior, to test his skill against my own! His greatness is truly UNMATCHED by any other man I’ve met in this gladiatorial sport!

It was a SHAME to see him fall at the great festival of the Black Dawn… but, this is not a man who defines his prominence by winning EACH and EVERY SINGLE match! Victories come and go, but his notoriety as the BEST is nevertheless undying!

The Vikings have long left this planet, save for my savage self… but this Sean of the Stevens is TRULY a modern day Norsemen!

(Olvir reaches out and takes the t-shirt from Terry’s hand, who looks a bit reluctant at first, but can’t really bring himself to say “no” to a man who could crush his head like a melon.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Uh, Olvir… be CAREFUL with that, kay?

(Olvir holds the shirt up to his face, continuing to stroke his beard as he analyzes the flawless form of Stevens printed on the front.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
There is much I see in him that reminds me of MY OWN greatness! Look upon his Arctic blue eyes… his flowing golden tresses… his masculine beard… his GOD-LIKE physique… his IRRESISTABLE handsomeness!!

Hmm…

(Realizing all of those qualities are present in himself, Olvir looks to the camera. His lips part into his typically wild grin, but his eyes carry a glint of pomposity.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
I have this INKLING of suspicion that a thousand years ago, in my original time, I conceived a BASTARD that would be this noble warrior’s ancestor!

Now you see, after a MILLENIA of my GREAT BLOOD being intermingled with various other WEAKLINGS, the superiority of MY GREAT BLOOD still carries him above all other men!!

(He glances again to the shirt…)

Olvir Arsvinnar
But now I wonder… how this tainted offspring fare against the ORIGINATOR of “blue-eyed badassedry”!!

HA HA HA HA!!

(With a BEASTIAL roar, the Great Viking’s massive fingers suddenly CLENCH around the black fabric, and he SWINGS his goliathan arms apart in Hogan-esque ferocity, RIPPING the pristine, delicate fabric ASUNDER!! The Fallen Idol’s expression turns to one of absolute DISTRESS and DESPAIR as he watches the frayed remnants of what is easily the most valuable thing in his possession!)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
OLVIR… that… THAT…

…oh, man, that was my RENT for the next four months!!

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! A TRUE VIKING needs NOTHING to cover his manly CHEST!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Believe me, Olvir, you DON’T want to see my upper body. Twenty-five years ago when I was getting laid at least twice daily, maybe…

(Anderon’s face bears all the signs of grief as he continues to looked at the shreds of the priceless collector’s item at the Viking’s feet. Olvir seems to have forgotten about it entirely, SLAPPING the reporter hard on the back to shake him out of his trance of mourning. We hear that gravelly shake once again, and Anderson nearly YELPS from the unending weight pulling down on his delicate parts. Olvir doesn’t notice.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
NONSENSE, Son of Ander! A man’s GREAT TORSO is as much his pride as his LOINS!! Come now… SHOW ME your great, hair-matted PECTORALS!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Nah, Olvir, that’s o—

(Before he can finish, Olvir already has a hand around the reporter’s collar, and without hesitation RIPS OPEN the front part of his cheap dress shirt open! The pounding techno beats suddenly STOP as a shriek of TERROR peals from the crowd of dancers!! Like a ghastly, Lovecraftian horror, Terry’s unmentionable upper body flops out into the open! The flabby, wrinkled tangerine horror that is Terry Anderon’s chest cannot help but be looked at in unyielding disgust. Even the Great Olvir BALKS at this horrendous sight, quickly pulling his shirt back together to hide the monstrosity from sight.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
BY FREYA’S HUGE-ARSE BOSOMS, that is a MOST REPULSIVE CHEST you have, man!!

(Terry turns several shades red, or rather redder, realizing his own ugly shame. The Great Viking soon spots this, and slaps him on the back again. This time, unable to take the burden anymore, Terry just COLLAPSES face-first to the concrete.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
BUCK UP, Son of Ander!! There is a great Scandinavian way to build your noble physique back to that level of a FLAWLESS Viking!!

(A weak whimper emerges from the man on the ground, which sounds like “What is it?”)

Olvir Arsvinnar
From now on, for at least FIVE HOURS A DAY, you must carry a DOZEN BOULDERS on your great shoulders to the peak of a mountain! That way, you will increase your ability to carry as many VIRGINS back to your LAIR of CONSUMATION!! In time, you will be the SIZE of a BEAST!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Ugh… can I take the rocks off my d*ck…?

Olvir Arsvinn
Are you YESTING?! Doing BOTH AT ONCE makes you even MORE mighty!! If you’re going to CARRY OFF a dozen virgins, you might as well be prepared to FORNICATE A DOZEN HINDS!!

HA HA HA HA!!

LET’S MARCH!!

Techno Dancers
HAIL!

(Going right back to his frenetic dancing maneuvers, Olvir, laughing heartily, continues down the street. The dancers, and even the truck, follow, and the party slowly leaves the frame. We look down on the groaning Terry “The Idol” Anderson lying face down on the ground, face buried in the torn shreds of his vintage Sean Stevens t-shirt. The camera zooms in on a lasting image of Sean Stevens’ face printed on the front of the destroyed shirt, defaced in mud by a solid large footprint form a giant’s furry boot. Go to black.)

 

[jayshort]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"When the dust settles, and the smoke clears..."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]'PLANET EARTH'S CHAMPION' PRODUCTIONS[/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]PROUDLY PRESENTS:[/FONT]​

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]FADE: The scene opened up to the sometimes melodic, often annoying sounds of crickets chirping, as the first camera shot was on the gigantic, world famous, brightly lit 'HOLLYWOOD' sign.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"... The winner of the Team Invitational won't be the person who told the funniest joke. Or had the most entertaining gimmick. Or the most potential."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The night was young, warm ... eerily calm. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"It'll be about who was the best at that time."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The sound of footsteps approaching echoed as the camera frantically searched for the source of the voice, before calmly settling in on professional wrestling superstar, 'Triple X' Sean Stevens, clad in a faded blue jean jacket, covering a plain white tee, black and gray sweatpants, and 'Nike' boots. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: ... and, while I respect you, Olvir," he lied. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]“HOW TO BULLSH*T YOUR WAY TO ANOTHER INVITATIONAL VICTORY BY PRETENDING TO RESPECT YOUR OPPONENT!”[/FONT]​

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: I can't honestly look myself in the mirror and say that you're a better wrestler than me. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]EXECUTIVE PRODUCED, WRITTEN, AND STARRING...[/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]... 'THE GREATEST WRESTLER ON THE PLANET' SEAN STEVENS!![/FONT]​

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: And, that's not to say you're not a great wrestler, Assfart, because I strongly believe that you are. In fact, all ego aside, I think that you're quite possibly the MVP of this tournament thus far," he said with a look of honest sincerity. Little did you know that behind his back, his fingers were crossed. "But, even in establishing yourself as a perennial player in TEAM and every of gladiatorial arena you may be competing, you have yet to see anything – and I mean, anything – like me."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CUT TO: A totally different scene. The magic of camera foolery turned a pleasant Hollywood Hills night into a busy Beverly Hills day. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Sean, in TOTALLY different attire – cargo shorts, a wrinkled, striped collar shirt, tube socks, and Louis Vuitton slippers – walked the streets of Rodeo Drive, without missing a beat.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: And, I'm not going to be my usual arrogant self and say that you can't beat me, because on any given day, anything can happen in this business. For instance, like you pointed out, I lost my EPW World Heavyweight Championship to a talentless, bottom-feeding, wrestler of the 'trashman' clan, after I abused him for thirty plus minutes, and f__ked his wife doggy style earlier in the week. But, I digress..."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Sean approached a crosswalk, and looked in both directions before crossing the street. As he crossed, he noticed a couple of familiar faces, crossing the same street in the opposite direction. Lauren Conrad – aka LC – from The Hills and Laguna Beach fame and Audrina Patridge made eye contact with the 'Blue-Eyed Badass' as she spoke into her T-Mobile sidekick. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: What up, LC?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Conrad approaches Sean, mid-conversation, removing the sidekick from her face, as the person on the other end(Brody Jenner, Jason Wahler, Steven Colletti? Does it even matter?) continued to talk, not knowing he had been completely forgotten. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CONRAD: What happened to you? You stopped calling me? What?! Am I not good enough?! [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: ....Baby, baby, chill. I was on the road. Overseas. I never got the chance to call back.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CONRAD(rolls her eyes): For two years, Sean? [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: Uuummm ... it was a long overseas tour. But, don't worry, I'll call you tonight. I'm kinda, sorta in the middle of cutting a promo. [/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CONRAD(chipper again): Okay! I'll be waiting!"[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Once Conrad and Patridge were out of the picture, Sean turned to face the camera and silently mouthed the word 'Psycho', looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody saw it.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CUT TO: Another TOTALLY different scene. This time, a night club – Les Deux in Hollywood, CA – where Sean, now in a white shirt, with light blue pinstripes, unbuttoned at the top, sleeves rolled up, and dark tan khakis continued.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: But, back on the subject. I understand the nature of our business, which is why I've been able to maintain my place at the top for as long as I have without any signs of slippage. For every person who considers me a legend, there's ten who consider someone else the next Sean Stevens, and automatically assume they'll take my spot."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]He walked through a sea of rich people, dancing in the middle of the dance floor, as “Love in this Club,” by Usher thumped through the club's speakers. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: But, again, like you noted, I'm not defined by a win or a loss. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm not a legend because my record is perfect, besides ... that was Curt Hennig's shtick long before mine. I'm a legend because I've won enough big matches to not be labeled a choke artist, and have had so many five star performances in the matches that didn't go my way, that years later, nobody remembered that they didn't go my way. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not calling a spade a spade, nor am I conceding that I will be anything other than victorious in our encounter. More than anything, I'm trying to explain my current state of mind. In the past, I used to dwell on wins and losses like they were my life. If I didn't win that championship, or that tournament, or whatever ... I felt as if my career wasn't validated, or authentic. But, that's not the case anymore, Assbarf. Fortunately for me, that revelation has taken a great deal of weight off of my shoulders, which has allowed me to perform more freely, which, in turn, has made me that much better of a wrestler."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Walking up a set of stairs into the VIP section, Sean winks at Lindsay Lohan and her Lesbian girlfriend sitting at a small, round table sniffing coke, and admires Paris Hilton, who is dancing on top of a table., before deciding to head out of the club. Sean walks down the staircase, toward the exit, and through the door.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]CUT TO: Another Hollywood hot spot – Club Shag – where the magic of the camera has Triple X exiting, in different attire, yet again, this time in a LA Lakers jersey – #24 Kobe Bryant, to be exact – blue jeans, and custom made black and yellow 'Chuck Taylors'. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]As Trip steps outside of the building, he notices a rather large crowd, and commotion, but professional that he is, he continues.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: And, that's going to be a problem for you, Omar. Because, see ... I have been beaten before, and I will be beaten again, but I have yet to meet the man to do it when I'm at my very best. Now, anybody with a functioning brain knows that you've pretty much got the physical advantage, being that your a bit taller, and weigh more, but the most important statistic is something that you lack, when it comes to being inside of that squared circle..."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Triple X continues walking through the hoopla, hardly noticing the gang fight taking place around him, as one gentleman, in particular, takes a metal pole and hits Suge Knight in the back of the head, knocking the legendary, overweight, hip hop terrorist – not to mention murderer of Tupac Shakur and the Notorious Big – unconscious. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: ...and, that's experience. Experience is what I have, and it's what you lack. There's a reason I've been in the main event in Empire since I've been there, and you haven't. There's a reason that up until recently I was a world champion, coming off of one of the most dominant years in the history of our great sport. And, there's a reason why I've gotten this far in the tournament, after being humbled last year, without so much as breaking a sweat. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"I've been down this road too many times before, Asscrotch. Things that other wrestlers consider as their crowning moment, is Tuesday to me. I'm not the self-proclaimed best wrestler pound-for-pound, I am the be all end all, point, blank, period."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Stevens walks up to Knight's bloodied, unconscious body, as the ambulance sirens blare.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: And, you can be the biggest dog in the yard, hell, you can be a notorious bad ass, or, in your case, a living, breathing descendant from a time when real warriors existed, and it's not going to make a difference. Because David had his sling shot, Jack chopped down the beanstalk with his trusty axe, and hell..."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The 'blue-eyed badass' points to the attacker who nailed Suge Knight with the pole, currently being handcuffed by police.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: ...this guy had his pole. All I need is this," he pointed to his brain. "...and, these," he extended two closed fists. "And, I sincerely believe that that'll be enough to move me on to the next round, and leave you like,” he points to Suge Knight, who finally seems to be coming to. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"...Him."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Let the games begin, Obama. The 'King of the Gladiators' requests your prescence."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The camera zoomed in on the fallen murderer. Blood gushed outside of his mouth as he gasped for air. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]... FADE TO BLACK[/FONT]​

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 207 - Valhallywood

(We open up on a large man. By “large” I mean humongous… and not in a good way. To be blunt, obese. To make matters worse, he’s dressed head to toe in the most atrocious looking brownish orange jumpsuit, complete with a dome-shaped lid of a trash-can pulled over his head, revealing only the lower portion of the face. Wildly, he raises both arms into the air.)

Fat Guy In Orange
OH YEAH, IT’S THE JUGGANAUT, B*TCH, and I got a B*TCH HERE WIT ME!!

(The camera pans around to reveal his audience… three unimpressed studio types. We’re introduced to a director, a producer, and a script girl seated on a couch against the wall in a room that appears to be somebody’s office. Hanging over them is a banner that reads “FILM AUDITIONS HERE.” What is also noticeable is that all three are wearing t-shirts that promote an upcoming film: “Juggernaut, B*tch!: The Motion Picture”.)

(A tad bored, the director marks off something on the clipboard in his hand… likely this candidate’s name and contact info.)

Director
Thank you, Mr. Stuart… that was a thrilling performance. We’ll get back to you if we’re interested.

Fat Guy In Orange
Awesome! You guys got my name and number, right? If not, I could just write it down—

Director
Nah, we got it all here. Thank you, sir. You can leave the way you came in.

(With a stupid, naïve smile across his face, the starring-role prospect leaves the room, taking his girth and orange monstrosity of clothing with him. The three in the room breath a sigh of relief.)

Producer
Man, these guys are HORRIBLE!! A bunch of Midwest hicks that come here to Hollywood by the busload hoping to make it big…

Director
The delivery was meh… but his look was all wrong. That guy before him was great…

Script Girl
What are you talking about? He couldn’t even get his lines right!

Producer
Yeah, I mean, having a film titled “Juggernaut, B*tch!” and having the lead character saying nothing but “I VJORK YOU IN ASS!!” over and over isn’t going to sell.

Director
Meh… who’s next?

Producer
According to my notes… somebody trying out for the part of the “Goliath-Lookin’ Motherf*cker”. Goes by the name OLVIR ARSVINNAR…

(A rumbling can be heard deeper within the building… soon followed by the sound of something BIG and FLESHY getting knocked aside with an audible WHOOMPH!!)

Olvir Arsvinnar
CAPTAIN… CA-A-A-A-AVE MA-A-A-A-A-ANNN!!!

The next try-out enters… no, wait a second, it’d be an INSULT to simply say he “enters.” What REALLY happens is that a bearded behemoth BURSTS into the room, nearly knocking the door of its hinges.)[/B]

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA!!

(His presence nearly blows the mens’ toupees clean off, and the woman’s tied-back hair loose from its band. When the dust has settled, the mighty Viking stands ready and waiting before the film executives.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
LOOK. AT. MY. BIIII-CEPS!!

(The director seems immediately intrigued, wiping a glob of Olvir’s spittle from his forehead.)

Director
Mr. Arsvinnar, I take it? Well, you seem to know the script well enough, so let’s just keep this audition rolling. Sarah, you mind giving him the next line, by Ketchup?

(The script girl, a fine young woman in her mid-twenties likely working with the studio as an intern, picks up the script and clears her throat…)

Script Girl
“Ahh… who the f*ck is he? I don’t know, but he better not be f*cking up no Juggernaut-p*ssy.”

(For some reason, it’s funny to hear a young college girl talk slang verbatim. The Great Olvir smiles with pleasure as he points directly at the woman speaking.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Mmm, you bow down to me, now you blow me!

Script Girl
Huh?!

Olvir Arsvinnar
YOU. BLOW. ME!!

(The Viking throws his mighty arm in the direction of the open door behind him, where a line of try-outs are still waiting, peering into the room to observe this debacle.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Notice all of these people behind me! They will MARVEL behind my BEHEMOTH D*CK!!

(Rather flustered, as if beginning to doubt that all this is part of the regular audition, she flips the pad over with a shaky hand.)

Script Girl
Uh… “Aw sh*t, I told you last time, I’m not going out with your ugly goliath-lookin’ motherf*ckin’ ass.”

Olvir Arsvinnar
SILENCE!! I will DOMINATE YOU TONIGHT!!

Now, WHERE is this YUGGERNAUT!! I will CRUSH HIM with my BARE HAND!!

(Both producer and director bolt to their feet, applauding fiercely.)

Director
My, the FEROCITY… the MANLINESS… it’s PERFECT!!

Producer
Mr. Arsvinnar, that was an EXCELLENT read!

Olvir Arsvinnar
“Read?” THE GREAT OLVIR KNOWS NOT WHAT YOU TALK OF!!

HA HA HA HA!!

(Without hesitation, and without any real resistance either, in a single motion, the Viking scoops the script girl up over his shoulder, turns, and bounds out of the room, leaving nothing but destruction in his wake as he blasts other auditioners out of his path.)

(Stunned by this entire spectacle, the director and producer fall back onto the couch.)

Director
Man… professional wrestlers are such unreliable actors. They should just stay away from Hollywood altogether.

Producer
Hate to tell you now that you’ve said that, but we hired Ice Tre for the part of Black Tom earlier today.

Director
Oh geez… well, who’s next?

Production
Somebody auditioning for the roll of Charles Xavier.

(As he says this, HAROLD RAMIS, making his Olvir promo return, wanders into the office.)

Harold Ramis
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHH!!!!

(The executives balk at this bizarre action.)

Director
…Mr. Ramis… are you on acid again?

Harold Ramis
…yeah?

(Cut to black…)

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

(Cut to a big aerial shot of the Hollywood district of L.A. “Hooray for Hollywood” is playing in the background as we cut to a montage of the various sights and sounds of the movie-making capital of the world, including the famous rolling green hills bearing the big white letters. We get a lasting aerial shot of a major motion picture studio, the identity of which we can’t reveal due to legalities. Zoom in on a familiar long brown object parked in one of the lots…)

(Cut to an exterior shot of the studio proper, with the various employees moving about. Crew, extras, actors, executives, whether it be moving heavy equipment or barking at some agent about how old and past-her-prime Sharon Stone is, everybody seems caught up in their own affairs. All at once, they FREEZE as a SHRIEK fills the air! An iconic pair of BULL HORNS can be seen streaking through the mass of people at an unprecedented speed. Moments later, a couple yuppie types in business suits are BLOWN ASIDE as Olvir, cutting his way through the crowd, carries his catch back to his dragon ship.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

(The raging Norsemen’s mighty fist buries itself into a nearby boom mic operator’s face, sending him sprawling out of the frame. Olvir zips out of the frame in an instant, leaving any left standing to shake their heads in astonishment. Two actors, respectively dressed as a caveman and an astronaut, seem very perplexed.)

Caveman
Man, what movie is THAT guy in?

Astronaut
Must be shooting another Snickers commercial in Studio 6…

"VALHALLYWOOD"​

​

(We fade out as everybody goes back to their business. Not far off, we can hear the unmistakable sound of powerful, iron-hard loins slapping against a fair maiden’s petite ass.)

(Fade in again, later in the day. Standing before his massive land-roving drekkar, our protagonist paces back and forth. Clenched in his enormous paw is a stone slab, which Olvir picks at occasionally with a nod of his head. Let’s face it, people… Vikings were awesome, but not too advanced when it came to literature. You ever seen a rune with a round edge? Yeah, didn’t think so.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Lindsay Lohan… CHECK!

Elisha Cuthbert… CHECK!

Olsen Twins… CHECK… and CHECK AGAIN!

Rosario Dawson… HA HA!!

Check, CHECK, and CHECK… with room for more, in case I choose to return to that most righteous Amazonian behind!

Angelina Yolie…

(His face-encompassing grin weakens…)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Aahh… wisely skipped! That unclean WHORE has an arse that would only RUST my proud iron club! Ten years ago, maybe…

Hmm… I wonder if I can freeze myself BACK in time…

(As he strokes his furry blonde beard in deep thought, the sound of something HEAVY hitting the asphalt catches his attention. The camera pans over to see a second large stone boulder, the size of a MEDICINE BALL, fall from the shoulders of an emaciated Terry “THE IDOL” Anderson.)

(Terry’s never looked GOOD by any means in the past fifteen years or so… but we can definitely see him physically at his lowest point possible. Literally DRIPPING with sweat, Anderson shambles into the frame wearing nothing but a yellowed tank top and sweat pants. The bags under his eyes are a bit heavier than normal… his receding hair seems like it could fall out in clumps at any second. He also hasn’t shaved in a while, although… that could easily just be the fledgling stages of a budding Viking’s beard. Breathing heavily and wavering on both quivering legs, he nearly collapses at the feet of the savage Norseman.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Olvir… I… I CAN’T TAKE IT…

Oh man… hurt… all over…

Olvir Arsvinnar
YES!! Now you see that carrying around that puny black phallus has left you WEAK and SOGGY!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Olvir… I need… a break…

Olvir Arsvinnar
“BREAK?!” HA!! A break in your BACK, is more like it! Viking’s have not a MOMENT to rest when a task is at hand, and right now, your task is to BUILD your flabby muscles into STEEL!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Ugh… right, how “foolish” of me…

…but can’t I at least take a few minutes to conduct this interview?

Olvir Arsvinnar
Hmm…

VERY WELL, Son of Ander! You are wise in not forgetting your initial duty as the HERALD to my GREATNESS!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
PHEW… finally.

(Terry reaches out and is handed a mic from a member of our unseen camera crew. He snaps right into action, turning to the camera and flashing his once million dollar grin, now worth about a buck fifty.)

Terry “The Idol” Andeson
Well Olvir, here we are touring HOLLYWOOD in this final leg of the Los Angeles bracket. Tinseltown… the movie-making capital of the world. Obviously something of a MECCA to you, since you’re no stranger to making films yourself.

Olvir Arsvinnar
OF COURSE NOT!! This land of Hollywood is very well suited for the constant demands of my noble and most righteous PORNOGRAPHY!! Why, even earlier today in this very studio, the Great Olvir discovered a sound stage SO ENORMOUS IN SIZE that it could EASILY accommodate my vision to perform a scene of graphic display involving ME, my GREATNESS, a FIFTY FOOT LADDER, and a TARGET-PAINTED ARSE!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Sounds epic…

(He takes a glance at the stone tablet in the Viking’s hand.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Whatcha have there, Olvir? You practicing for the part of Moses or something?

Olvir Arsvinnar
No, Talk-Man… what you see HERE is the Great Olvir’s CHECK LIST!! Before he leaves the City of the Lost Angel’s ASS, he must make an effort to FORNICATE as many famous buxom wenches as he possibly can!

(Anderson gets a glance at the tally, which the camera can’t see. His eyebrows pop up.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Looks like a pretty hefty tally. But, aren’t Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Alba pregnant?

(A big grin forms on Olvir’s face.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! I’m sure they ARE!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
I won’t go into that. Well, Olvir, while you’re here, you might consider going out, breaking through a few walls, and shaking down a movie studio executive until he agrees to make a feature blockbuster film about your seemingly unstoppable rise to the top of the professional wrestling industry. A deal like that could open doors for future possibilities. After all, several great wrestlers went on to become successful actors after their careers in the ring.

…well, actually, “successful” may not be an accurate word.

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! Unfortunately, Son of Ander, a film with Olvir is not a FILM without every last inch of his GREATNESS dominating the fine ARSES of numerous maidens! But… that is for another time. Even though I continue my CONQUEST of this legendary Hollywood land, BUTT by BUTT, my all-knowing mind continues to drift to the sport of GRAPPLING… and my upcoming foe!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
I don’t think you’re alone on those thoughts, Olvir, as this upcoming match is undoubtedly on the minds of every fan keeping an eye on this tournament.

Since you first arrived in TEAM, you’ve been nothing short of unstoppable as you tear your way round through round, taking some big names and garnering quite a reputation. As for your opponent… well, I’m sure nobody is surprised to see the number one seed of the Los Angeles bracket make it this far.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Hmm… it is certain that FEW would be surprised to see one come to such lengths when given opponents such PUNY and INSIGNIFICANT foes such as Boy of GREASE and so-called “King of Streets!” In the Great Olvir’s ingenuous opinion, this Sean of Stevens has had a very easy road until NOW!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Well… okay, the competition hasn’t been all that fierce for him thus far. Chalk that up to luck of the draw, I guess. Still, Sean Stevens making it to the Elite Eight of any wrestling tournament is typically considered nothing less than status quo. Now, however… the pressure to succeed is building. It’s times like these, against opponents like you, where professional wrestlers like HIM really work their magic!

Olvir Arsvinnar
OOH, how the Great Olvir DESPISES the wicked art of “magick!” Such a cowardly practice, to *PEW-PEW!!* from far away where the mighty battle axe cannot reach one!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Uhh… no, Olvir, I was just complimenting his ability to work best when the stakes are at their highest.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Ah… a NOBLE quality, then! One that the Great Olvir ALSO shares! Now that the GLORIOUS RAGNAROK that awaits me at the end of this mighty contest is in sight, the only option for a FEROCIOUS VIKING like myself is to THRUST his UNYIELDING STRENGTH FURTHER and HARDER than what he was believed to be capable of!

When the berserker has set the town aflame… and breached the mighty citadel… and finds the “KING OF GLADIATORS” sitting there on his throne, does he HESITATE?! Does he step back and BASK IN THE GLORY of how far he has come and the foes he has vanquished?

NO!!

A TRUE VIKING runs right over there and RIPS THAT BASTARD’S HEAD OFF!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Huh… well, you’re obviously determined. And I’m sure few can deny that the same is of your OPPONENT. Basically, Olvir, Sean Stevens came out yesterday and did his usual Stevens thing in reiterating his claim of being PLANET EARTH’S CHAMPION and the greatest professional wrestler to ever grace the ring—and really, there are few, if any men on the planet who can dispute that.

(Olvir lets out a deep, throaty chuckle, strikingly different from his typical boisterous audio salvo.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
We shall see…

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
He also brought some emphasis on his advantage in experience. After all, he has over a decade of trials and triumphs between the ropes, and there’s good reason to believe that the reason he’s remained at the top of the industry for as long as he has is because of that acquired knowledge he’s picked up over the course of his career.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Well, even the GREAT OLVIR will not argue with that bold statement…

…but I WILL include ANOTHER reason why this Sean of the Stevens has been the “KING” for as long as he has!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
What’s that?

Olvir Arsvinnar
A decade ago, the GREATNESS that is OLVIR was encased in a block of solid ice beneath a glacier on the Canadian tundra! CERTAINLY, had my awakening into this new age come ten years earlier, Sean of the Stevens would be considered little more than a FOOLISH COVETER of what would obviously be MY legendary status!

Alas… that is NOT the situation at hand. But… let Sean of the Stevens arrogantly BOAST of his decade of “experience” until he is blue in the FACE and black in the BALLS!! Perhaps he has not noticed that the Great Olvir, in the short amount of time he has graced the arena with his AWESOME presence, has developed a MASSIVE following of fans, and continues to DOMINATE, foes and WENCHES alike, even against those who are expected to TRIUMPH over him!

And this man… this “KING”… he sets himself above even MY GREATNESS… based on his foolish “experience?”

(He throws his massive, hair-covered head back and his mouth opens into a chasm of pink gums and teeth.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

That is, I suppose, what separates a VIKING from a “King!” A VIKING lives to destroy those that were believed to be DESTRUCTIBLE!! A VIKING lives to breach the wall believe to be IMPASSIBLE!! A VIKING works every day of his GLORIOUS LIFE to put that which is IMMORTAL on its DEATHBED!!

Don’t you SEE, Son of Ander? Sean of the Stevens is the very opponent a great, fearless BERZERKER like myself is driven to DOMINATE!! More than any beast, or man… or BLOSSOMING WOMAN’S HIND, for that matter! It matters not how much “experience” he has in staying upon the mountain, because the GREAT OLVIR has spent YEARS on the battlefield, effortlessly CHARGING FORTH to scale that mountain and OVERTHROW his royal mockery!

Like the story of so many works of art to come from this NOBLE LAND of Hollywood, SEAN of the STEVENS is the arrogant RULER… whereas the GREATNESS that is OLVIR serves as the heroic CONQUERER!!

(Ferocious snarl to the camera as thunder BOOMS in the background. Olvir the Conquerer. Directed by John Milius. Coming to a theater near you in 2009.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Well, Olvir, that’s all very inspiring, but… let’s say this particular King has a habit of eating any run-of-the-mill Conqueror like Egg McMuffins for breakfast. What, specifically, sets YOU above HIM?

Olvir Arsvinnar
A noble question, herald! And one in which the ANSWER lies not in my foe’s SKILL (which I’m sure is GREAT, if not AS Great as my OWN) but rather his own LEGENDARY STATUS!!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
But how so? I mean, if he’s the guy on the top of the totem poll, what’s it gonna take to put yourself at a level that at the very least walk away with the win and move on without having to break an arm or a leg to get there?

Olvir Arsvinn
What, exactly, does a man on TOP have to WORK FOR?!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
…well, I guess if he’s on top, then she wouldn’t be doing anything but laying there and taking it while—

Olvir Arsvinnar
FOCUS, Son of Ander! If this Sean of the Stevens claims to be the very BEST, then what does he have to PROVE in the completely IMPOSSIBLE act of HIM triumphing over ME?! As you said EARLIER, because he is the Number One SEED, seeing him here in this final BATTLE for the City of the Lost Angel’s Ass is NOTHING to be surprised about!

Would ANY MAN be surprised to see his LONG-LIVED GREATNESS overcome MINE?!

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Surprised? Hmm… nah, I can’t think of many. There would be bound to be many who would be disappointed, though…

Olvir Arsvinnar
They WON’T be, Son of Ander!!

You see, because neither failure nor defeat will tarnish the GREATNESS that is Sean of the Stevens, he has lost all DRIVE to push himself to overcome this ever-growing GREAT BALL OF HOT WHITE FIRE that steady climbs the ranks to take his place!

But the GREAT OLVIR has not lost his motivation!!

NO!! If anything, here in this FINAL contest for this mystical Hollywood land, the GREATNESS that is Olvir is even MORE determined to defeat THAT which considers itself UNDEFEATABLE under any circumstances!! I will CRUSH this Norse bastard of mine in a way that his fame and pomposity CAN’T recover from!!

And, like all the Hollywood conquerors do to the Hollywood kings, I will lay SIEGE to his castle of professional wrestling, DESTROY the castle that is his legacy, SLAY the man that is Sean of the Stevens…

…and USE HIS QUEEN AS A C*CK-SLEEVE!!

HA HA HA HA!!

(Magically, a BATTLE-AXE appears in one of his hands. Olvir takes ahold of his check-tablet once again and grins broadly.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
SCARLETT JOHANNSON!! A FINE Scandinavian valkyrie!! I have YEARNED to DOMINATE THAT ARSE since LOST IN TRANSLATION!!

COME, Son of Ander! You will bear WITNESS to my triumph!! It will be a GOOD LESSON toward your training!

…which reminds my GREATNESS; don’t forget your stones!

A VIKING IS NOTHING WITHOUT HIS STONES!!

HA HA HA HA!!

(Axe swinging wildly through the air, Olvir BOUNDS of the frame. Terry, a bit less enthusiastic about bringing the burden back onto his shoulders, lingers a bit and takes a seat on one of the heavy boulders.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Yeah, you go ahead, Olvir… I’ll catch up.

(He’s given only a moment’s peace before a shadow falls over him. He looks up, and standing near him is a petite Japanese girl.)

Terry “The Idol” Anderson
Who the hell are you?

(She opens her mouth as we cut to black.)

“BBBLLEEECCCHHH~~~!!!”

 

[jayshort]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"I'll be real with you, Oprah."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]FADE: [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Complete and utter darkness.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]An empty room. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]A voice...[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]... and, an echo.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: I hoped to God someone would beat you, when I realized that you and I would have to meet at some point during this tournament."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The camera chases the voice, stalling once 'The King of the Gladiators' SEAN STEVENS is in sight. Seated on a large purple and gold throne, the 'Blue-Eyed Badass' sat still, staring a hole in the camera, clad in a plush, gold and burgundy robe – given to him personally by the Queen of England – a royal scepter – made of gold and the finest 'conflict diamonds' from a rare mine in Sierra Leone – and a fake platinum chain – that he 'confiscated' from Ice Tre's punk ass after beating him senseless in one of their many less than epic encounters. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: But, don't let that statement get to your head. It wasn't your imposing physical attributes that intimidated me. Hell ... it wasn't even your kindergarten-esque naivety preventing you from knowing how absurd you look and sound just by thinking you stood a chance against the 'King of the Gladiators'. To be honest..."[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]The king adjusted his crown. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: ...It was because in the time that it takes for you to get to the point of your entire promo, y'know ... when you finally say: 'I'm going to kick your ass because I'm a Viking and that's what Vikings do HA! HA! HA!'? I could've defrosted a couple more of your relatives. [/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"And, your little buddy had the nerve to disdainfully say that my last promo was nothing more than me doing my usual 'Sean Stevens stuff'?[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Pot.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Kettle.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Black."[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]He laughed mightily. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X:[/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif] You're a walking, talking, sideshow freak. You belong in a circus. Or better yet, an 80's action flick. And, you beat the fact that you're weird into our heads every single chance you get. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Atleast my Sean Stevens [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]stuff [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]is realistic. I can't find anything wrong with telling you that I'm wrestling's answer to Muhammad Ali, if I go out there and back it up night in and night out. But, what about you, Oliver? Ten years ago, you were a block of ice. And, that's your entire backstory.[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Yeah? Well, so was Doctor Evil. [/FONT][/FONT]


[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"And, he – [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]like you[/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif] – wasn't REAL. [/FONT][/FONT]


[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"But, I bet your mom is proud, though. That's gotta count for something, I suppose. How 'bout I send you both a cookie and call it a day?[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"So you ask yourself, why I'm not concerned about you. Why I think you're just another stepping stone to the Chad Merritt trophy, and to that I say, just look in the mirror. You're a f__king clown. An above average sized buffoon, bouncing around the city like kids on the little yellow bus usually do. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Sure you're having a ball. [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Of course [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]a couple of wrestlers took you lightly and you advanced in the tournament. It still doesn't mean you're a real wrestler. Don't believe me? Ask Nick Dinsmore how far being retarded got him. At first, it's fresh, and the people [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]feel[/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif] you. Then they cheer for you, because, well ... they're idiots and idiots do idiotic things. But, eventually it grows stale, and those cheers turn to grumbles of dissatisfaction, and you can no longer feed off of that energy to motivate you to win matches that you never had any business being involved in ... and, the next thing you know, you're on your back more than Kim Kardashian. Allow me to re-introduce myself..."[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Stevens extended his hand to nobody in particular.[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]TRIPLE X: [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]I am that Reality Check. I am the one opponent that you came up against who was too good to fall to your momentum. I am the one guy that's capable of taking every single blow that you dish, and keep getting up, and getting up, and getting up until you can no longer continue. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"Oscar, I want you to listen carefully to me, because,[/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif] unlike you [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]I'm not gonna use this camera time as an opportunity to promote my comedy act to the world. I'm telling you the truth, because [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]I Am The Truth. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"And, truthfully? The point that I'm trying to beat into your thick skull is not that you're not on my level. But, that you're not even on the level [/FONT][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]below me. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]"And, if you think the little bit that you've shown me thus far'll be enough to get that all important Sean Stevens notch on your belt? Then, that block of ice that you spent so much time in must've been made from vodka. The game is over, son. Your run was a good one. You had your fun. But, these are the championship rounds, and pretenders usually run out of gas and fold right about now. I applaud your effort, your enthusiasm excites me about your future in this business, but if you come into that ring with anything less than Benoitaholic Anonymous' wrestling pedigree, I'm going to knock you loopy, into the middle of '98, so you can imagine what it'd be like to face the King back when he was a dashing young Prince."[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Cocking his head back, Sean Stevens rested his eyes, as the camera continued to pan backward, slowly revealing the entire scenery. Beside him, were two persian women, in sparkling thong bikinis, fanning him with large green plant leafs. [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]As another servant walked into the picture with a bowl full of grapes.[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif][FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]... FADE TO BLACK[/FONT][/FONT]