Lessons In Bloodshed: Lesson 2

[Throbbin Wood]

WARNING – THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, AND THE WILL TO WIN AT ITS VERY FINEST!

Last week...

Joey Clerk: “RSW was just a name. F-ck that, it's gone now. We have to write a new book now, and I'm sick of f-cking going on here. Ladies and gentlemen... this is Isamu League... and tune in for our LESSONS IN BLOODSHED!”

CUTTO: “Bring It On Down” by Oasis as clips from last week are shown.

What was that sound ringing around your brain?
Today was just a blur, you've got a head like a ghost train.
What was that sound ringing around your brain?
You're here on your own, who you gonna find to blame?

Randall Beetwix hit the Prophetic Finale out of nowhere on goldFISH before pinning him.

You're the outcast,
You're the underclass.
But you don't care,
Because you're living fast.

AK-47 is seen attacking someone in the bar area and clips of the bar room rumble are shown.

You're the uninvited guest who stays 'till the end,
I know you've got a problem that the devil sends.
You think they're talking 'bout you but you don't know who,
I'll be scraping your life from the soul of my shoe tonight.

Nate Narwin drove Naoki Inoue through the announce table with Intoxicated Rage.

Bring it on down, bring it down for me.
Your head's in a fish tank,
Your body and your mind can't breathe.

Clips of the fans chanting and waving their flags around.

Bring it on down, bring it down for me.
Your head's in a fish tank,
Your body and your mind can't breathe.

Security camera footage of Masaharu Keichigawa and Jun Nakagawa's backstage fight.

You're the outcast,
You're the underclass.
But you don't care,
Because you're living fast.

Jonathan Marx defeats Riddick with Marxism.

You're the uninvited guest who stays 'till the end,
You know you've got a problem that the devil sends.
You think they're talking 'bout you but you don't know who,
I'll be scraping your life from the soul of my shoe tonight.

Riddick gained revenge with a petty assault, then put him through the table with The Paralyzer off of the ring apron.

CUTTO: Hideki Koga was sitting behind a Sports Center-style desk with city buildings shining brightly in the night visible through the window behind him.

Hideki Koga: “Welcome to Lesson 2, this is Hideki Koga sitting in Studio 13 at The IL Headquarters. Our inaugural show on March 9th was a chaotic affair and only two of the four scheduled matches actually went underway. Tonight, we only have one match scheduled.

IL Promoter Joey Clerk is going to make a special announcement at the end of our program tonight. There are a few rumours as to what it could be about, but I'm not here to speculate. Here is what you need to know for tonight's match...”

FEATURE BOUT
goldFISH vs. Riddick

“Both men suffered losses last week and are looking for their first victory in The IL. goldFISH looked impressive against Randall Beetwix who pulled it off in the end, but Beetwix hurt his ankle on his exit. Riddick has seen better days, and Jonathan Marx isn't the man you want to go against if you're knocking the rust off. After the match, Riddick carried out that vicious assault that you all saw in the highlight package. So despite the losses, they actually walked out of the building in better shape than their opponents.

goldFISH is a big boy at 6'6” 354 pounds and can be another handful for Riddick if he is still trying to get in form. When he's locked in, he'll find a way to take the big man down. He's fought bigger people, but that was then and this is now.

Here is how tonight's competitors stand in the league table...”

RANK – WRESTLER – POINTS – RECORD (W-L-D)

1. Jonathan Marx (103 RP, 1-0-0)
2. Nate Narwin (103 RP, 1-0-0)
3. Randall Beetwix (103 RP, 1-0-0)
4. Naoki Inoue (99 RP, 1-1-0)
5. goldFISH ? (98 RP, 0-1-0)
6. Riddick (98 RP, 0-1-0)
7. AK-47 (97 RP, 0-1-0)
8. Jun Nakagawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)
9. Masaharu Keichigawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)

“They're tied at 98 each and a victory tonight will put one of them above Naoki Inoue and two points behind Marx, Beetwix, and Nate Narwin. Speaking of Narwin, we'll throw it down to the Pitch Black night club where the former SWA United States Champion is sitting with Kyo Miyagi. Take it away...”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

goldFISH vs. Riddick

CUTTO: The Pitch Black night club. It's standing room only for the 2000 fans packed in the event area. The fans were waving flags around, clapping, and chanting. Narwin was at the ringside announce table with his feet kicked up, chugging down on his whiskey flask and smoking a cigarette.

Kyo Miyagi: “Thank you, Hideki! It's a cracking atmosphere in this building and even though we only have one match for you this time, at least we can guarantee that it will actually happen!”

Nate Narwin: “If any of these sh-t stabbers duck out then I'll come back their and f-ck their junk up. It's just Riddick vs. some f-ck, right?”

Kyo Miyagi: “That 'f-ck' is goldFISH, and yes, that's the only match tonight.”

Nate Narwin: “Ah, good. I scheduled one of those bukkakes tonight and I was gonna leave no matter what but hopefully Riddick f-cking does this punk f-cker in and I can get out of this dive. It's a one-man bukkake by the way.”

Kyo Miyagi: “Well then it's not really a bukkake because... ugh, forget it...”

With no music, goldFISH came out with his gold sequinned mask, tail and flippers, white buttoned-up dress shirt, black tie and cargo shorts. The fans gave him some cheery shouts and polite applause.

Nate Narwin: “F-ck me, what a terrible dresser...”

T.K. Tanaka: “Our first match tonight is set for a twenty-minute time limit. First, from an aquarium near you, he stands 6'6” and weighs 354 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for GOLDFISH!” TK bows.

Kyo Miyagi: “The outfit changes but the mask stays the same. The dress shirt and tie with the cargo pants is an interesting wardrobe...”

Nate Narwin: “Interesting? You're just being polite...”

“Unbreakable” by Cage 9 hit on the PA. Blood red pyro 'dripped blood' onto the stage as Riddick walked underneath it and towards the ring to loud boos.

T.K. Tanaka: “Now... from Muskegon, Michigan. He stands 6'0” and weighs 240 pounds. He is 'The Reckoner,' he is 'Mr. RSW' (huge pop!), he is RIDDICK!” TK bows.

Crowd: “MARX! MARX! MARX! MARX! MARX!”

Kyo Miyagi: “The crowd is trying to wind Riddick up.”

Nate Narwin: “It's not gonna f-cking work, I'll tell you that much. If you want to wind Riddick up, stick a lesbian man hater in front of him and watch him get all horny. Ooooh, I just made it personal...”

Kyo Miyagi: “... Are you referring to his wife, Nate?”

Nate Narwin: “What if I am, fish head? Riddick should know that any man who gets married is a f-cking loser. What's the point if women don't stay in the kitchen any more?”

Kyo Miyagi: “Both men are in their corners right now and receiving instructions from tonight's referee – female official Miki Mochizuka, who didn't get any work on Lesson 1 due to the Keichigawa/Nakagawa bout being called off. “

Nate Narwin: “She has ok titties for an Asian broad. Nice little ass holding firm in those pants...”

Kyo Miyagi: “Nate, we need to be professional on the air. You're going to get us cancelled with that talk.

There's the bell and here we go!”

Riddick was aware of the size disadvantage he was at and kept his distance in the opening minutes but goldFISH was eventually tired of playing the chasing game and cornered him with a barrage of stiff punches. He was chucking Riddick around with basic slams and body splashes in the corner.

Kyo Miyagi: “goldFISH sends Riddick to the ropes... Riddick comes off... Ducks a clothesline... Riddick with the momentum off the ropes again... OH, GOLDFISH WAS WAITING AND CAUGHT HIM WITH A POWERSLAM! ONE... TWO... NO, RIDDICK WITH A SHOULDER UP!”

Nate Narwin: “That f-cking fan over there keeps staring at me. What the f-ck...”

Riddick struck at the big man's legs with a series of kicks and chop blocks, then got him on the ground after a missile dropkick toppled him. He held him in a basic leg lock on the right leg, wearing him down and putting him in pain for a few minutes while allowing himself to rest up after the bruising he took at the start.

Kyo Miyagi: “Riddick has slowed this match down and goldFISH is trying to get to the ropes but Riddick keeps letting go, dragging him away and putting the leg lock back on. He has quite the tactic set in place.”

Nate Narwin: “F-cking boring the piss out of me. Hey Riddick, you're suppose to be this big hardcore icon or whatever the f-ck! You've killed a few minutes with this dumb sh-t!”

Kyo Miyagi: “He's eaten some minutes away on the ground game but it's smart. For someone who specialised in attacking the opponents legs and putting on that figure four in any match that wasn't a hardcore bloodfest, I thought you would understand what he was trying to do.”

Nate Narwin: “Yeah but it's f-cking sweet when I do it. Anybody else does it and it's like, 'the f-ck is this sh-t?''”

Riddick kept up the cerebral attack on his right leg, really giving him trouble as his own weight was hurting him and causing him to limp around more. Ten minutes in and goldFISH was in trouble until he was leaning against the ropes and Riddick made an effort to kick out at his right leg. After having his leg attacked most of the match, he predicted the strike and grabbed the foot. He then pulled Riddick in and back body dropped him up and over the ropes and in front of the announce table at ringside!

goldFISH brawled around at ringside and slammed Riddick into the post and barricade a few times, busting him open slightly across the forehead. They barely made it back into the ring before the twenty count but the match had shifted towards goldFISH. After every ring shaking slam and pin attempt, he was getting closer and closer to the third pin fall count. He just couldn't put Riddick away.

Fifteen minutes in, Riddick got back into it with an eye rake and a few dirty tactics. He undid the top turnbuckle pad in one of the corners and baited goldFISH, taunting and grabbing his own crotch. goldFISH ran at him and into the trap – a trip toehold into the exposed turnbuckle, busting his chin open and causing him to bleed all over his white dress shirt. Riddick then started choking the man with his own tie until Mochizuka threatened to disqualify him.

The twenty-minute time limit was looming but neither man could seem to do enough. In an anti-climatic finish, the bell rang just after goldFISH turned Riddick inside out with a running lariat.

T.K. Tanaka: “Ladies and gentlemen, this match has reached the twenty-minute time limit. Therefore, this has been ruled a draw!”

Kyo Miyagi: “In a draw, both men get one point. That's not what they wanted though and LOOK OUT! Riddick just pulled a pair of brass knuckled out of his pocket and goldFISH turned into it! Look at this! Riddick assaults another opponent after the match!”

After a few punches, Riddick went to ringside and pulled a table out. He slid it into the ring, and then added a roll of barbwire and gasoline to the occasion. With goldFISH still down, holding his head, Riddick set the table up with the barbwire on top and lit it on fire with a pair of matches he had in his pocket.

Crowd: “IS-AH-MU! IS-AH-MU! IS-AH-MU! IS-AH-MU!”

Kyo Miyagi: “I don't know how this place feels about fires like this being lit inside their building, but they should have known this can happen with The IL!”

Nate Narwin: “Riddick's gonna f-ck him up like he did Marx! Dipsh-t is on a mission to piss some people off and I love it!”

Riddick approached goldFISH BUT THEN ENDED UP ON HIS SHOULDERS, GETTING HIS SKULL RATTLED WITH I HEART HEAD TRAUMA (G2S)! He flew into the turnbuckles and goldFISH flattened him with a splash. The man with the fish mask tore off his tie and bloody white dress shirt, buttons flying everywhere. He adjusted the table slightly before picking Riddick up. He then took him up to the top rope with him...

Kyo Miyagi: “goldFISH is a big man! I don't think he should be up there! Riddick is about to be in a world of hurt! WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND! HOLY F-CK!”

goldFISH jumped off the top rope, all of his 354 pound frame landing on Riddick as they went through the burning barbwire table!

Crowd: “HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T!”

Nate Narwin: “Riddick just got f-cked up! Ha!”

Kyo Miyagi: “What a memorable piece of carnage on display by goldFISH! They may have gotten a point each but goldFISH just turned Riddick's body into a pile of broken bones! This place has gone insane!”

Crowd: “FISH! FISH! FISH! FISH! FISH!”

Kyo Miyagi: “goldFISH is walking away like he picked up the three points and he might as well! It's stuff like that that will get him over in The IL! Wow! We need to go to commercial break!”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

The announcement...

FADE-IN: After the commercial break, the ring had been cleared up but the fans were still making noise with their chanting and clapping. “Showbiz” by Muse kicked on and they stood around, waiting to see who this could be... And out stepped Joey Clerk to an ovation.

Crowd: In endearment. “YOU YANK F-CKER! YOU YANK F-CKER! YOU YANK F-CKER!”

Joey smiled and took it all, fetching a microphone and jumping into the ring. He motioned for his music to be cut.

Joey Clerk: “You all use to hate the sh-t out of me! What happened to that? Did those two Promotion of the Year Awards finally get into your heads or what?”

The crowd cheered, a small “R-S-F*CKING-W!” chant went up but Joey continued.

Joey Clerk: “Ok, enough of the sh-t. I came out here to say that a decision has made regarding the IL Tsunawoharu Championship! No, we didn't throw money at the SWA to give us the Rising Sun Wrestling version of the belt. F-ck that, we don't need it, we can make our own history!

Our first pay-per-view event – National Threat I, is going to be in June. On that night, we are going to have a one-night tournament to determine our promotion's first title holder! This is going to make them the best wrestler in all of Japan!

What's the deal? EVERYONE in this promotion will be in it, regardless of when they joined or where they are at in the ranking points. The tournament seedings will be determined based on those ranking points because hey, I'm a man of opportunity!

That's the big announcement. Everyone on the roster – if you want to assure yourself a better chance and a good seeding, then you need to work your ass off! Even if you're the number one man, be careful, because that bottom man could easily upset you. If you're really made to be the champion of this promotion, you'll be able to deal with your seeding no matter what!

Good night! All the drinks in the bar area are on me!”

“Showbiz” played again as the promoter made his exit to the cheers for free drinks.

Kyo Miyagi: “Narwin has already left so it's just me down here. We'll throw it back to Hideki Koga at Studio 13...”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Lesson 2 In Review

CUTTO: Koga behind his desk at the studio.

Hideki Koga: “We only had one match tonight and it ended in a time limit draw. Before we go, here is The IL Ranking Table as it stands now...”

RANK – WRESTLER – POINTS – RECORD (W-L-D)

1. Jonathan Marx (103 RP, 1-0-0)
2. Nate Narwin (103 RP, 1-0-0)
3. Randall Beetwix (103 RP, 1-0-0)
4. goldFISH ? (99 RP, 0-1-1)
5. Naoki Inoue (99 RP, 1-1-0)
6. Riddick (99 RP, 0-1-1)
7. AK-47 (97 RP, 0-1-0)
8. Jun Nakagawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)
9. Masaharu Keichigawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)

“That's all for Lesson 2. Join us for Lesson 3 in two weeks! Until then, good night from the landing of the rising sun.”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

CREDITS

Throbbin Wood - everything