Lessons In Bloodshed: Lesson 1

[Throbbin Wood]

WARNING – THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, AND THE WILL TO WIN AT ITS VERY FINEST!

It was 10 PM in Japan and the wait was over. The show faded in on IL Promoter Joey Clerk. His whereabouts? Who knows. With only a white wall behind him, it was just him staring into the camera.

Joey Clerk: “Yeah, I was gone. I supposedly 'killed someone,' but let's face it – that's the most retarded way they could have explained my sudden absence from the wrestling world. Yeah, I'm a mass f-cking murderer guys.... I kill people.... Apparently.... That was the story, anyway.

In reality, the Shootclub Wrestling Alliance didn't have the f-cking balls to tell you that they banned me. My ways don't fit with the family friendly Mickey Mouse f-ckwads at The Alliance, so they made some bull**** about me going to prison for being associated with a few murders. Well, I'm here right now. If I killed people, I would be in prison still, wouldn't I? OR MAYBE I ESCAPED?! You f-cking figure that one out...”

He took a puff on a cigar, blowing smoke into the air before looking back into the camera, pointing his cigar towards us. “I know what you're thinking too... 'Oh noez, Joey is making new enemies and he hasn't even been back on air for two minutes.' If that's what you think, then F-CK YOU. I didn't create the most brutal f-cking experience this sport has seen by worrying about how people view my conduct. If I want to come on television and slap the taste out of some journalist's mouth, then I'll do it. If I want to pull some b-tch's ***** lips apart and sh-t in her c-nt, I'll do that too. If I wanna f-ck a unicorn and determine a f-cking champion that way, I'll go on ahead and do that.”

He looked away at the camera, then back with an eyebrow raised. “You may like what we do here, you may not. My product has always been for those with an acquired taste, and if you don't like it, then get the f-ck out. I'm sick of the same bland sh-t every f-cking week. Ever since my last day as Rising Sun Wrestling Promoter, this rasslin' **** has gotten pathetic....”

Crowd watching at Pitch Black: “R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W!”

Joey Clerk: He smirked, the memories calling him. “Yeah, R-S-f*cking-W. Thank you for proving me right. Thank you for proving that it's the people here in Japan who deserve better. You sick bastards, only you guys would lap this sh-t up. RSW was just a name. F-ck that, it's gone now. We have to write a new book now, and I'm sick of f-cking going on here. Ladies and gentlemen... this is Isamu League... and tune in for our LESSONS IN BLOODSHED!”

CUTTO: “Bring It On Down” by Oasis

What was that sound ringing around your brain?
Today was just a blur, you've got a head like a ghost train.
What was that sound ringing around your brain?
You're here on your own, who you gonna find to blame?

Riddick hits Riddick's Rage!

You're the outcast,
You're the underclass.
But you don't care,
Because you're living fast.

Jonathan Marx locks on Marxism!

You're the uninvited guest who stays 'till the end,
I know you've got a problem that the devil sends.
You think they're talking 'bout you but you don't know who,
I'll be scraping your life from the soul of my shoe tonight.

Masaharu Keichigawa flies through the air with the Supernova Katana!

Bring it on down, bring it down for me.
Your head's in a fish tank,
Your body and your mind can't breathe.

Jun Nakagawa slaps on his Iron Claw!

Bring it on down, bring it down for me.
Your head's in a fish tank,
Your body and your mind can't breathe.

Naoki Inoue soars with the Diamond Press!

You're the outcast,
You're the underclass.
But you don't care,
Because you're living fast.

AK-47 bashes someone with a chair!

You're the uninvited guest who stays 'till the end,
You know you've got a problem that the devil sends.
You think they're talking 'bout you but you don't know who,
I'll be scraping your life from the soul of my shoe tonight.

Clips of Randall Beetwix and and golfFISH beating up people cut to...

LESSONS IN BLOODSHED: LESSON 1
​

CUTTO: Hideki Koga was sitting behind a Sports Center-style desk with city buildings shining brightly in the night visible through the window behind him.

Hideki Koga: “Welcome to the very first edition of Lessons In Bloodshed, and tonight is Lesson 1. I'm Hideki Koga coming to you from Studio 13 at The IL Headquarters in Tokyo. I'll throw you down to ringside at the Pitch Black nightclub, but first – a run-down of our matches tonight...”

OPENING BOUT
goldFISH vs. Randall Beetwix

“Randall Beetwix, the 42 year old from Los Angeles, USA is at a size disadvantage. At 5'11” 218 pounds, the veteran all-rounder is up against a 6'6” 354 pound wall in The IL's first match. golfFISH is a powerful guy. If Beetwix doesn't keep his distance, this one could be over quickly.”

SECOND BOUT
AK-47 vs. Naoki Inoue

“Inoue is a young and brash youngster. Nineteen years old and he's already competing at the very top of puroresu, but tonight he's up against a nasty veteran gaijin who has been barred from all the independent promotions in America. He'll find himself at home here in The IL, and the talented 'Diamond Child' from Omuta will need to fight like a pro because AK-47 has been waiting for a chance like this. This one has the potential of getting violent real quick.”

TEASER BOUT
Masaharu Keichigawa vs. Jun Nakagawa

“This match may or may not happen tonight, and we'll get to those reasons soon. These two young fighters have an internet following, lighting up the independent scenes. Nakagawa patterns himself in the style of some of the great gaijins that have come here, and has gone to the United States in his wrestling studies before coming back here for The IL. Keichigawa comes from some of this country's best dojos, he finally gets his big break, but word has it that he has picked up a knee injury in his preparations. Whether he is ready or not will be decided by bell-time.”

MAIN EVENT
Jonathan Marx vs. Riddick

“Two great gaijins, a host of honours and classic matches between them. Marx is big in Japan but Riddick was the crown jewel of the greatest promotion this country has seen. It's why they call him 'Mr. RSW' wherever he goes. While Riddick has been away from the ring ever since his SWA ban in 2008, Marx has been active and winning titles. Riddick was unusually quiet leading up to this fight until earlier today, but Marx says he's been watching his old SWA matches. Marx has had an incredible year already, but can he keep it up tonight or has he finally met a man of equally great stature who can ruin his party?”

“With that all said, I will throw you down to ringside where Kyo Miyagi is sitting with former SWA United States Champion Nate Narwin. Take it away...”

CUTTO: The Pitch Black nightclub in downtown Tokyo. It's standing room only as always, and the crowd was waiting patiently for the first match in The IL's history. Some of them could be seen holding bottles of beer, and some of the rebellious youth that RSW appealed to could be seen amongst the crowd.

At the ringside table, Miyagi looked into the camera like it was all business. Narwin stared off at f-ck knows what, taking a drag from his cigarette and a swig from his whiskey bottle.

Kyo Miyagi: “This is a huge event, ladies and gentlemen! Major puroresu action has returned to Japan's national scene and tonight we're going to see former World Heavyweight Champions mixed with exciting newcomers!”

Nate Narwin: “'Exciting newcomers,' ya say? Aye... F-ck that... Ya know, Mr. Miyagi, I hate it when people refer to women as 'bikes.' That's not cool. That's not right. Personally, I prefer a dirt bike because with me, we're going up the f-cking dirt road! Ha ha!” Takes a drag and shoves Mr. Miyagi. “Crack a smile ya f-cking c-nt. I'm saying that between a virgin and a broken in p-ssy, ya know which one I'm taking because ya gotta pay me to f-cking teach ya. I gotta afford cigs somehow... Lighten the f-ck up, Mr. Miyagi. We have some nice ass in the crowd. So are we gonna get people to come out and f-ck each other up yet or what?”

Kyo Miyagi: “Ummm... I believe we will get to that.”

CUTTO: AK-47 was sitting over at the bar area, brewing in his anger and drinking whiskey by himself at a table.

Kyo Miyagi: “Look Nate, it's infamous American brawler AK-47 over at the bar. This is one of the biggest nightclubs in Tokyo, and it can hold 2000 people in this area where we hope to bring Lessons In Bloodshed for years to come. This space is also used for concerts and other events, but the bar area is always open. It looks like AK-47 is a whiskey man, just like you.”

Nate Narwin: “Yeah, I have my f-cking Jameson on hand with a cooler full of Guinness over here under the table and a pack of cigs on the side. It's a meal fit for an Irish-Canadian that's only doing this stupid bullsh-t for the f-cking pay-cheque.”

Kyo Miyagi: “Hang in there, Nate. Our opening bout comes to you after our first commercial break!”

COMMERCIAL: Win, lose, or draw, Death on the Parlay always has a rant on the way. The best place on the internet for sports betting trash talk!

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Randall Beetwix vs. goldFISH

We fade in on the ring, for the very first time in Isamu League. The fans are buzzing, anticipating the first wrestling in Japan since August of 08. They are overjoyed! T.K. Tanaka is in the middle of the ring. He bows to the fans.

T.K Tanaka: Our first match here on Lessons In Bloodshed is schedule for one fall. Coming down the aisle first from an aquarium near you. Weighing in at 354 pounds. Here is goldFISH!!!

goldFISH comes out to applause from the Japanese crowd. He's coming down the aisle wearing his gold sequined mask equipped with flippers and everything. He's wearing beach bum shorts and sandals it appears. He doesn't look totally ready to compete. But hell he's a pretty big guy. 6'6 354 pounds.

Narwin: What the f*ck is that? And why is it walking down the aisle to the f*cking ring wearing that?

Miyagi: Well I don't know Nate. Maybe you should go down there and ask him yourself. He might answer you.

Narwin: Maybe I should go down there and beat his f*cking ass for looking like a fairy!

Miyagi: Wow use too much HGH this morning Nate?

Narwin: You f*cking A right Mr. Miyagi!! Now back down to ringside so this loser can intro the next wrestler!

T.K. Tanaka: Introducing his opponent from Los Angeles California. Weighing 218 pounds. Here is Randall Beetwix!!

Exit by the Black Crowes plays as the fans all rise to their feet. Randall Beetwix comes out with a goofy looking grin on his face as he walks down the aisle looking as confident as ever! He slides into the ring and looks across at goldFISH with wide eyed wonder at what he's wearing. He bounces off the ropes and prepares himself.

Narwin: This old f*ck is about to get killed in there! Look at how big goldFISH is compared to this Beetwix loser.

Miyagi: There's a definite size difference, sure. But we know it isn't always about size!!

DING DING DING!!

Beetwix and FISH lock up. Fish gets the immediate advantage by overpowering Beetwix and shoving him easily to the ground! Beetwix gets back up and charges at Fish. Fish ducks a kick attempt by Beetwix and as Beetwix spins around Fish catches him hard with a clothesline. FIsh with a quick cover!!

1....

2....

No! Beetwix gets the shoulder up!

Narwin: See I told you f*ckers! Beetwix should've just stayed home tonight!

Miyagi: This is just the beginning. The first match in IL history. It's time to see how the competition is going to be here. And we've got one hell of a first main event with two men with extraordinary credentials. It's going to be off the hook!

Narwin: I have to go with Riddick on that one. Sorry but Riddick's been f*cking up people way too long for Marx to even know what he's about to deal with. Anyways, back to Beetwix getting his ass kicked!

Beetwix kicked out from the pinfall attempt. Fish pulls him up and whips him into the ropes. Beetwix comes back off and takes a big foot to the face! Beetwix is down. Fish pulls him up and sets him up between his legs for what appears to be a powerbomb. But no! Beetwix reverses and performs a go behind and dropkicks Fish right behind the knees! Fish goes down to one knee. Beetwix runs into the ropes and charges Fish. But Fish explodes out from his crouched position, catches Beetwix and plants him with a powerful powerslam! He covers.

1....

2...

no Beetwix is out. Fish pulls up Beetwix and hooks him up in a standing vertical suplex! He drops him! Fish pulls Beetwix up again and whips him into the ropes Beet comes back off and Fish catches him with an uppercut/flapjack combo! Another cover!!

1...

2...

NO!! Beetwix is out again! Fish pulls him up but out of nowhere Beetwix rolls him into a small package! Fish is covered.

1...

2...

NO Fish powers out.

Narwin: And Beetwix finally does something to goldFISH. He caught him by surprise there! Much like what happens when I punch a girl in the back of the head after bending her over!

Miyagi: I just shows he has a lot of fight in him!! Never count the little guys down Nate!

A bit of noise was heard around the bar area. People were screaming, and smashing sounds made some people turn towards that part.

Kyo Miyagi: “What the hell is...? That's coming from the bar area and... AK-47 has just gotten into a fight with someone over there!”

CUTTO: The bar area. AK-47 smashed a bottle over a small Japanese man's head and threw them up against the counter. He opened him up more with some big punches, spilling blood all over. The whole bar area broke out into a massive fight, everyone turning on each other and slugging it out.

Nate Narwin: “F-cking awesome!”

Kyo Miyagi: “We have a match going on right now but there's chaos in the bar! What was AK-47 still doing in the bar with his match coming up so soon? Are we even going to do that match now or what?”

Fish and Beetwix get up at the same time. Beetwix hits him with a knife edge chop. Then another. Then a third. Beetwix springs off the ropes and hits Fish with a spinning kick! The crowd loves it! Beetwix climbs the turnbuckle and springs off into an Asai Moonsault! He hooks a leg!

1...

2...

NO Fish kicks out. Beetwix pulls Fish up and attempts a snap mare. Fish doesn't budge, instead he lifts up Beetwix as if going for the I Heart Head Trauma!! Beetwix counters and jumps over the top of Fish landing on the other side of him. Beetwix kicks him in the gut, and out of nowhere hits the [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]PROPHETIC FINALE!! Beetwix with the cover[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]1...[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]2...[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]3!!!
[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]DING DING DING!!
[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]T.K. Tanaka:[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] Here is your winner. Randall Beetwix!!
[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]The fans roar as Beetwix pulls himself up and shakes off a few cobwebs with his hand held high in victory as he soaks it all in being the first winner of a match on Lessons In Bloodshed!
[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Miyagi: [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]What a hard fought victory! T[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]he first match wasn't a sixty minute classic, but it was definitely hard fought.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Narwin:[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] It was bulls*it! Fish had that match won. He's more powerful, and obviously more colorful. But what would I know? I've only f*cking fought everyone in sight! [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Miyagi: [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]We will be back after this!! [/FONT]

Before the commercial came, Beetwix lost his footing on the ring apron as he stepped through the ropes. He tumbled to the floor and grabbed his ankle. A doctor and a few ringside attendants rushed over to tend to him as the show went to commercial.

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Just when you think it's done...

The lights darkened as the opening violin strains of Pachelbel's “Canon in D” hummed throughout the building, a single spotlight illuminating the entranceway. As an electric guitar slowly began to wail, the silver-hooded figure of Naoki Inoue stepped into the light, standing still, head looking down. Soon enough, however, the guitars crashed to a rapid crescendo, and the Diamond Child flipped the hood away from his head and sprinted to the ring, immediately leaping to the top rope and backflipping to the center of the ring underneath the flood of silver strobe lights before finally taking off his silver ring jacket.

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “Tonight's second bout is a singles match with a twenty minute time limit. First, from Omuta, Japan. Standing 5'8” and weighing 177 pounds, he is 'The Diamond Child.' Ladies and gentlemen, here is... NAOKI INOUE!” TK bows.

Inoue talked with referee Nori Tanaka. His music kept playing as they waited for any word on AK-47's involvement in the match.

Kyo Miyagi: “I'm being told that AK-47 has been arrested along with a lot of others who were in that massive bar brawl we saw during the Beetwix/goldFISH match. There's no way he can compete if he's at the police station right now. What are they going to do?”

The music faded out.

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “Ladies and gentleman, because AK-47 is unable to compete, the match will result as a forfeit. The winner, NAOKI INOUE!” TK bows.

The crowd boos. The wanted to see a match.

Kyo Miyagi: “A forfeit means that AK-47 has cost himself three ranking points and Inoue will only get one. It's not the full three that an actual victory would have gotten him, but it's a free point.”

Nate Narwin: “Free point? What the f-ck? He didn't do anything. This little f-cking c-nt didn't do anything!”

Kyo Miyagi: “Wasn't so much for what he did, but what he didn't do. He didn't go starting fights with people in the bar!”

Inoue reached out to ringside and grabbed a microphone. The crowd is still upset with the match being called off and were getting pretty hostile.

Naoki Inoue: “I'm sorry, I wish I could make it up to everyone but this isn't under my control. I trained for weeks for this moment to show off my skills. Everyone saying AK-47 is crazy and how I'm so young that he's going to beat me. I didn't get to The IL at nineteen for no reason and...”

Narwin had jumped into the ring and shattered his empty Jameson whiskey bottle over Naoki's head. Nori Tanaka jumped into the ring and called for the bell to sound as Narwin threw Inoue into a corner and punched at his cut forehead, stretching the skin out more and busting him open more.

Kyo Miyagi: “Is this a match?! It appears so. Nate Narwin – former SWA United States Champion. He's from Toronto, Canada and listed at 6'0” 250 pounds. It didn't take long for the loose cannon to go off and attack someone! I'm just glad it wasn't me!”

Narwin took the fight to the ringside area and threw Naoki into the steel barricade, punching him around. Naoki fought back with some stiff strikes but the blood was getting in his eyes and Narwin's attack was too mad for him to fend off properly. Narwin took him over toward the announce table and bounced his head on it, then cleared everything off.

Kyo Miyagi: “Come on Nate, do we really need to destroy the table before the first show is done?”

Nate Narwin: “I'm gonna destroy this table, and then I'm gonna destroy your mother's c-nt right after!”

Naoki kept Narwin at bay with some furious kicks to the midsection, one foot after another, then hit him with a spinning back elbow that knocked Narwin onto the table. Naoki jumped on it and pulled him up, the two traded blows but Naoki lifted him up in the air for the Diamond Spike (Cross-legged fisherman buster)!

Kyo Miyagi: “The tables have turned, and our table is about to get destroyed! He calls this the Diamond Spike!”

Narwin struggled out of it, his frame and power too much for Naoki to hold up. The Canadian doubled him over with a kick to the stomach, and then hooked his arms.

Nate Narwin: “ICE HOCKEY GOLD MEDALISTS, MOTHER F-CKERS! SUCK THE MAPLE SYRUP OFF MY F-CKING COCK YOU SLANT-EYED F-CKS!”

Narwin lifted him off his feet AND HE DROVE HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE WITH INTOXICATED RAGE (Vertical pedigree, dropping the opponent on their head)!

Crowd: “HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T!”

Kyo Miyagi: “If that wasn't cheap heat then I don't know what is! Regardless, Nate Narwin just decided that he's not old enough yet and put nineteen year old Naoki Inoue through our table with his infamous Intoxicated Rage finisher! He got a free win on his record but he's about to lose that ranking point unless a miracle occurs!”

Narwin slammed a monitor on Inoue's head before throwing him back in the ring, staining the canvas more with his blood. Narwin grabbed a chair and jumped back into the ring. He whipped Inoue to the ropes and met him with a brutal chair shot that knocked Naoki off of his feet! Narwin covered...

1...

2...

3!!!

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “Your winner, NATE NARWIN!” TK bows.

Narwin stood over Naoki's bloody mess and lit up a cigarette. With his goofy laugh and smile, he picked up the microphone and blew smoke into the air.

Nate Narwin: “Hey kid, there's no such thing as a free win in this f-cking world. Punk asses like you make me f-cking sick. Hey fruitcake, you think you're hot sh-t? Prove it, fag. F-ck this, I'm off for a piss. This place blows...”

Narwin dropped the microphone on Inoue's face and made his exit to the backstage, blowing smoke in everyone's faces.

Kyo Miyagi: “First AK-47, now Narwin! We have lost control here on Lesson 1! Naoki Inoue was talking in the ring and Narwin blind-sided him with a whiskey bottle to the face! Naoki tried to fight back but he was fighting an uphill battle since the start. Narwin is unpredictable and the youngster just happened to be in the wrong place. I hope this vicious attack doesn't discourage him. I hope he gets back in the ring and stands up to Narwin because the whole thing was so unprofessional... He's suppose to be a colour commentator and he does that!”

“I don't think Narwin is coming back. It wasn't even a fair fight... I guess they're counting this as an official win for Narwin and he's going to get three ranking points. I don't know, the whole thing was sick to me.”

“Ok... Enough about Narwin. They're taking Naoki Inoue backstage to get his cuts cleaned up. A whiskey bottle, Intoxicated Rage through our table, and then a sickening chair shot to cap it all off. His head and neck should be checked as well... Nineteen years old, looking to make his big time debut and he ends up getting assaulted from behind by a former United States Champion. What the hell did Narwin have to prove? Sh-t...”

“Ok, I'm sorry. We have to move on. After our commercial break, it's Masaharu Keichigawa vs. Jun Nakagawa... If Keichigawa's knee is up for it. We might not even have that match either...”

COMMERCIAL: Have some downtime? Try Hentai.

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Another match bites the bust...

CUTTO: An overhead shot of the crowd waiting anxiously at Pitch Black. They are entertaining themselves by clapping, bouncing, waving flags around and singing the Japanese football chant, “Tokyo Rhapsody.”

Hideki Koga: “This is Hideki Koga back at Studio 13. The atmosphere at Pitch Black is cracking but we have to go backstage. This night gets more confusing... We have Cho Takahashi standing back there.”

CUTTO: Ms. Takahashi, wearing barely anything, is standing in the trainer's room with a big smile on her face. The place looks like a mess.

Cho Takahashi: “Hello. This is Cho Takahashi.”

Hideki Koga: “Um, yeah, we know. What happened back there? We know Masaharu Keichigawa was tending to a knee injury and they were going to make a decision regarding his match fitness. That room looks like a disaster zone.”

Cho Takahashi: “Yes. Like, apparently Keichigawa was doing something to his knee or whatever and then his opponent for tonight, Jun Nakagawa came in here. He said he was like, only coming in here to get his right hand taped or whatever and like, he said something to Keichigawa and Jun said that it was like, not really a big deal. Like, he wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, ya know? But Keichigawa took it the wrong way and, like, they fought...”

Hideki Koga: “....... Really?”

Cho Takahashi: “Yep.”

Hideki Koga: “Hmm, k. So we're not going to get that match then, are we?”

Cho Takahashi: “Nope. There's blood everywhere and it's, like, really bloody. And gross... Yuck...”

Hideki Koga: “K... Well, that's interesting. How come they aren't going to have the match, though? If they're hot and angry at each other then it would be great to throw them in the ring, right? Surely a little blood isn't enough to call the fight off?”

Cho Takahashi: “Well, like, apparently, it is...”

Hideki Koga: “...... What the f-ck? Can somebody get me a serious reporter down there? I'm getting nothing out of this f-cking bi...”

CUTTO: Miyagi, alone at the announce table, the fans at Pitch Black still doing their chanting and jumping around.

Kyo Miyagi: “Well how about that? There's carnage all over this place and that's our second match of the night that isn't going to happen. We need to go to commercial. Our main event – Jonathan Marx vs. Riddick, is coming up... Hopefully.”

COMMERCIAL: Has it been a long work day? Then visit Mr. Kojo's Pornatorium on the way home and take a load off.

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Jonathan Marx vs. Riddick

“The Touch” by Stan Bush began to play and the crowd lit up. The Gentleman slowly emerged from the back, taking in the pop for his arrival.

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “This next match is our main event. It is a singles match with a twenty minute time limit. First, he is from Princeton, New Jersey. Standing 6'2” and weighing 215 pounds... ladies and gentleman, he is 'GENTLEMAN' JONATHAN MARX!” TK bows.

Crowd: “MAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!”

Kyo Miyagi: “Marx is in Japan and this is a main event fit for a king! The atmosphere in this place is intense. Marx showing the composure that has won him many honours in his career, and he's going to need it because he's never faced a man like Riddick. Can Riddick jump back into the ring after a two year hiatus and pick up where he left off or does he have ring rust to knock off?”

“Unbreakable” by Cage 9 hit on the PA. Blood red pyro 'dripped blood' onto the stage as Riddick walked underneath it, receiving a heroes welcome. He stopped in his tracks, the volume reaching a peak.

Crowd: “R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W!”

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “Now... from Muskegon, Michigan. He stands 6'0” and weighs 240 pounds. He is 'The Reckoner,' he is 'Mr. RSW' (huge pop!), he is RIDDICK!” TK bows.

Riddick started walking towards the ring, people reaching out over the guardrail and patting him on the back and his bald head as he made his way down. He got agitated and tried to knock the hands away but gave up and just slid under the ropes.

Crowd: “R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W! R-S-F*CKING-W!”

Kyo Miyagi: “He's one of the biggest heels this business has ever seen but Riddick always tells the truth and speaks his mind! That has endeared him to many and the RSW faithful are showing their appreciation for everything he has brought to puroresu!”

The music faded out. Riddick and Marx eyed each other from across the ring in opposite corners, both as stoic and statuesque as ever, letting the crowd volume wash over them.

Crowd: “RIDDICK! RIDDICK! RIDDICK! RIDDICK!”

Riddick shook his head with a little smirk and mouthed “F-ck off” towards the crowd.

Kyo Miyagi: “Senior Referee Shin Sasaki will officiate this match. It's Marx and Riddick, live on the first ever Lessons In Bloodshed! The bell has rung and here we go!”

They tested each other out in the opening minutes, trading hip tosses and arm bars, both receiving applause during the course of the match. Marx pulled away with the upper hand. While they were able to match each other move-for-move, hold-for-hold, it was apparent that Marx was in form and Riddick was probably put into a match like this too soon. But that did not curb Riddick's will power, proving to be one tough customer as Marx couldn't seem to get a safe lead.

Kyo Miyagi: “Marx with the octopus hold. He's using it to get some punches in at Riddick's torso, he's got him trapped but... uh oh, Riddick with a hip toss! He kept punching at him but kept him out of the hold for too long and allowed Riddick to escape!”

Marx controlled the tempo of the match, keeping it at his pace until the match hit the ten minute mark. Riddick was sticking around a lot longer than he thought he would and so he upped the tempo... until a desperation dropkick from Riddick sent him tumbling to the outside. The fight went to ringside...

Kyo Miyagi: “Sasaki starting the twenty count and they're trading blows on the unpadded floor. (1) Marx said he can be a brawler (2), and nobody is doubting his (3) all-round ability, he really (4) is a world class athlete (5) but this is Riddick's (6) world he's in right (7) now! Riddick (8) slams his head into the steel (9) barricade and now he's (10) trying for an Irish (11) whip towards a ring post (12)... Marx reverses! OW! Riddick (13) ate a face full of steel there (14) and that has drawn some blood from his nose.”

Marx threw Riddick back in before the fifteenth count. He hit a DDT, belly-to-belly suplex, a spinebuster, and a few knife-edge chops and pins between each move. Riddick kept kicking out and eventually put on a rally of his own until Marx ended the minute long Riddick rampage, kneeing Riddick in the face to deny a snap suplex and followed it with a momentum-killing gourdbuster. With his excellent ground game, he scaled over Riddick and quickly locked on MARXISM (STF)!

Kyo Miyagi: “In the middle of the ring, Marx has him locked in! Riddick has been fighting behind since the five minute mark in this match and now he's in major trouble! Marx might need to try something else because Riddick is too stubborn! He's way too stubborn for his own good and he's going to pass out! He was once legally dead for several minutes after a match, the man thinks he is above it for some reason! Marx is going to pull his head off!”

The blood flowed from Riddick's nose and all over Marx's arms, who tightened the hold even more. Sasaki lifted Riddick's arm up once...

It dropped.

Twice...

Again, it dropped.

The third time...

Failure to respond. Maybe Riddick refused to tap out, or maybe Marx had his move so well held in, which had caused Riddick to pass out so quickly? Whatever happened, it was Marx's arm that was raised, the crowd pouring their applause on him.

Crowd: “MAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!”

T.K. “Tiger” Tanaka: “Your winner, 'GENTLEMAN' JONATHAN MARX!” TK bows.

Kyo Miyagi: “Riddick is being tended to in the middle of the ring, and Jonathan Marx is victorious here tonight! That was a disappointing display by Riddick. He clearly wasn't in form, and you need to be at the top of your game to beat Jonathan Marx, a man who is having an outstanding 2010! Give Riddick time to get his stride back and people are going to be in a ton of trouble!”

Marx was surrounded in a corner by all sorts of reporters and cameramen from across the Japanese media.

“But it's not Riddick's night. This night goes to Jonathan Marx, who picked up a big three points and joins Randall Beetwix and Nate Narwin at the top of the table. He really is an incredible wrestler and it is an honour to have such a focused, dedicated performer in The IL. He didn't let the occasion get to him, Riddick received a loud greeting from the diehard RSW guys and it didn't effect his game. He got to business, took the match by the neck and couldn't have handled such an opponent any better.”

Riddick was back on his feet and in an act of mind-snapping in-the-moment rage, he shoved one of the doctors tending to him through the ropes and sent him tumbling to the ringside area. He pulled out a bag of white powder from his jeans and jumped through the crowd of reporters, blinding Marx!

Kyo Miyagi: “What the hell? Riddick just threw some powder in Marx's face during his post-match talk with the media and Riddick is on the attack! He's hitting him with all sorts of punches and all the goodwill he built up with the crowd is out the window! They're booing him!”

Marx made some wild swings but he couldn't see. The media cleared from the ring as Riddick sent Marx to the ropes and took him off his feet with a jumping knee to the face. He went to ringside and pulled a table out from under the ring, setting it up on the unpadded floor. He led Marx onto the ring apron, doubled him over with a knee to the stomach, and then wrapped his arms around his torso...

Kyo Miyagi: “Oh my f-cking God, you have to be kidding me! Riddick is acting like a child and being the sorest loser he could be right now! Does he really have to go this far?! NO, HE'S GONNA F-CKING KILL HIM!!!”

Riddick looked out at the crowd and screamed, “I DON'T NEED YOUR F-CKING SUPPORT! THANKS BUT NO THANKS!” He lifted him up AND JUMPED OFF OF THE APRON, SLAMMING MARX THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE PARALYZER (Russian Neck Drop)!

Crowd: “HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T! HOLY SH-T!”

Kyo Miyagi: “You lost, Riddick! You didn't come ready and you lost! SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF HERE!”

Riddick stood over the carnage at his feet. He laughed, soaked up the boos, and made his exit.

Kyo Miyagi: “I can't believe this. Our first show has seen a bar room brawl, a backstage fight, and someone getting Russian neck dropped through a table. Jonathan Marx came into this match and he probably underestimated the brutality factor of Riddick. Now I think Riddick has underestimated Marx! That's all for me here at Pitch Black. I'm Kyo Miyagi. We'll throw it back over to Hideki Koga at Studio 13...”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

Lesson 1 Recap

CUTTO: Hideki Koga behind the desk as Studio 13 in The IL Headquarters.

Hideki Koga: “Thank you, Kyo. It's been a wild Lesson 1. Here are some quick things to go over...

Highlights run across the screen.

* Randall Beetwix defeated goldFISH in the opening bout but twisted his ankle on his exit. We don't know when Beetwix will be able to return but he is ruled out for Lesson 2.

* During the opening match, AK-47 kicked off a wild brawl in Pitch Black's bar area. He is one of the twelve people that have been arrested from that incident. The police are still looking as there were obviously more than twelve people involved.

* AK-47's absence resulted in a forfeit on his half. It's a loss counted on his record and he went down three ranking points. A win and one ranking point was granted to his opponent Naoki Inoue, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time in the highly controversial superstar Nate Narwin broke from his commentating duties and attacked him with a whiskey bottle. After doing Intoxicated Rage through the announce table and a chair shot, Narwin picked up a win that will actually count as three points and an official win on his record. Inoue lost the ranking point he had just obtained through the forfeit due to his defeat.

* Masaharu Keichigawa was tending to his knee in the medical room all night and word has it that he was set to compete. Jun Nakagawa came in to tap his right hand, his 'claw hand,' and said something to Keichigawa about the knee injury. We're getting word that Keichigawa wasn't in a laughing mood and felt that Nakagawa was suggesting that he was trying to duck the fight or make excuses, which prompted Keichigawa to kick it off right then and there. Both men had been cut in the backstage brawl and had damaged property that didn't belong to The IL, prompting the company to write a cheque to Pitch Black for the damage. They have also been docked three ranking points. Joey Clerk isn't happy with either man but says that he wishes to see these two fight on Lesson 2.

* Jonathan Marx recorded a sensational victory over Riddick in the main event. Riddick looked out-of-form, but Marx has been going strong and proved too much for Mr. RSW. The crowd showed their appreciation for Riddick, a man who is widely hated, but he hasn't been seen in two years and many regard him as the centrepiece to the legendary RSW operation. Marx made a strong case for top dog in the company though, and was in the driver's seat for most of the match. After the match, we all saw Riddick throw that powder in his face and drive him through a table with The Paralyzer.

* goldFISH thinks Cho Takahashi is his mother. Good lord.....

This is how the ranking points table looks after Lesson 1...”


RANK – WRESTLER – POINTS – RECORD (W-L-D)


1. Jonathan Marx (103 RP, 1-0-0)
2. Nate Narwin (103 RP, 1-0-0)
3. Randall Beetwix (103 RP, 1-0-0)
4. Naoki Inoue (99 RP, 1-1-0)
5. goldFISH ? (98 RP, 0-1-0)
6. Riddick (98 RP, 0-1-0)
7. AK-47 (97 RP, 0-1-0)
8. Jun Nakagawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)
9. Masaharu Keichigawa (97 RP, 0-0-1)

“The point deductions are harsh but that's what happens when they can't make their matches. To think that if cooler heads prevailed in each instance, they would have gone on as scheduled. It's unfortunate to see these deductions handed out but it happens. The only thing I don't agree with is Nate Narwin's inclusion in the table. He's not hired to be a wrestler and his 'match' was only made official just because they needed to fill time. I understand he's not that old and can still wrestle if he wants to, but he's hired to be at the table. He can't jump in and assault people when he feels like it.

Oh well... That is all for Lessons In Bloodshed: Lesson 1. The card for Lesson 2 is scheduled to be announced tomorrow night. This is Hideki Koga. Good night from the land of the rising sun!”

 

[Throbbin Wood]

CREDITS

Everything – Throbbin Wood
Beetwix vs. goldFISH – The Damn Game