t r e
New member
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2006
- Messages
- 234
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 44
- Location
- saratoga springs, new york
- Website
- www.paulbrisbin.com
FADEIN: Inside the nerve center of EPW's on-site production truck. The lights are low, comfortable chairs are empty. The live event has ended and it's staff has vacated the trailer. The handful of monitors flicker to life forcefully and we see -- on each and every one of them -- the image of the K'ang of the STREETZ, the Illest Playa In the Game, the Slickest Soldier in the Conflict; dressed in a shockingly understated black, almost velvet robe, his ring tights, and boots -- standing battered, bruised around his left eye, and proud, his name is ICE TRE. (Run on, convoluted sentence. Run ON.) He is the Empire Pro Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPION.
ICE TRE: The CHAMPION of TELEVISION~!
Yes. The EPW Champion of Television. The title belt was draped awkwardly on his bony right shoulder and he frequently found himself propping it back up. Standing before a brand-spankin' new UNLEASHED 2008 backdrop, the TRE'est of THEM ALL couldn't stop himself from smirking.
ICE TRE: The CHAMPION ... of YOUR Television, YOUR Television, HIS, HERS, *AND* Yo Momma's! I know what you GOTSTS to be thinking: "Tre! That sounds like a HUGE 'sponsibility! How you gonna do it? How you gonna keep the HATERS, the PERPETRATORS, and the ANTAGONATORS from CRUSHIN' the IMPOSSIBLE dream? Can you go against the 'STABLISHMENT, against DA GRAIN, and rise above the undeniaFiable politics that keep this company and this industry rollin' like the FATTEST of blunts? Ice Tre: Is You Fo' REAL?"
Tre thinks about it, perhaps analyzing the proposition for the first real time in his brief yet meteoric career.
ICE TRE: Let a brother put this in perspective fo' you funky @$$e$: the thangs you watch on TV, everyday. Ain't THEY real? Didn't Jed Clampett find that sweet, sticky-icky Black Gold and move his familation to Cali in order to strengthen his pimp hand? Didn't Fonzie jump that shark on Happy Dayz? You sayin' that MacGyver DIDN'T save the world with a paperclip, a cardboard box, and old, chewed gum? That B.A.Baracus DIDN'T pity each ... and EVERY fool he encountered? You gon' try and tell me the love that Dylan felt for Brenda in the 90210 wasn't REAL?
Really? Are you?
ICE TRE: You must be out yo' got'dayum MIND!
The only conceivable possibility.
ICE TRE: NEVER QUESTION whether The ILLEST is up to the challenge! NEVER WONDER if The BADDEST can carry the weight of the world on this 5 foot 10, 173 pound frame! NEVER ever DOUBT that Ice Tre will take on ALL challengers ... and EVERY sh!t-talker! Fusenshoff was, undoubtified, the most difficult challenge I've ever faced. He str8 TESTED Your Boy. And I Passed.
Tre tapped the gold with two fingers.
ICE TRE: Flyin' colors, an' sh!t.
Flipping the belt (with a muffled grunt) to his other shoulder, Tre's face twisted into instant anger as something else had suddenly, and quite intrusively, occurred to him.
ICE TRE: An' you know what? I did it like I do ERR'THANG! I beat Fusenshhhhhoff, took the belt-he-never-wanted like-I-said-I-would, and shook up the WORLD! I PUT ON for The Tre'niacs and the Hoodratz as ONLY I CAN! I did it by being just a LITTLE bit faster than anyone expected. I did it by being just a LITTLE smarter than ANYBODY wants to give a brotha credit fo'! And I did it by being in the right place -- EVERY TIME. By making the right choice -- WITHOUT FAIL, when it ALL matters the absolute MOST! Just Like I ALWAYS DO!
Mmm hmm.
ICE TRE: If you, the Empire Pro lockerroom and wrestling community at liggity-large, have never taken the time to REAAAAAAAALLY listen to me when I spit... If you wrote Ice Tre off as a joke, as a fraud, as ANYTHING other than TOO LEGIT... Take the time to hear me now. To finally b'lieve the game I'm 'bout to spray yo' way.
The monitors in the control room all jarringly cut to a tight shot of simply Tre's bleary eyes, his left appearing increasingly discolored and shiny. Even still, his eyes SCREAM "bad ass".
ICE TRE: I came here, whenever that was, to make a mark. To etch my name in history on the biggest, brightest, most promisin' stage of 'em all: Empire Pro Wrestling. In that time I've beaten EVERY top name they've thrown at me! When they STOPPED throwin' 'em at me? When they buried the Tre? I went out and CHALLENGED sucka's. I outsmarted, out wrestled, and out smoothed EVERYBODY! Try to put me out? I HEAL, SON. Try to lock me up? I'M OUT, B!TCH. CAN'T be stopped. CAN'T be faded.
CUTTO: A longer shot. Jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at the majestic backdrop behind him, smiling as though he has consumed feces.
ICE TRE: Up next? I got Stalker. I got Fusenshhhhoff. MY belt on the line. PRIDE on the line. Odds stacked against me ... right?
CUTTO: Back to the shot of the eyes, the bruise looking nastier every time we're shown a clear shot of it.
ICE TRE: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
FADEOUT, Televisions! So Says Your CHAMPION.
ICE TRE: The CHAMPION of TELEVISION~!
Yes. The EPW Champion of Television. The title belt was draped awkwardly on his bony right shoulder and he frequently found himself propping it back up. Standing before a brand-spankin' new UNLEASHED 2008 backdrop, the TRE'est of THEM ALL couldn't stop himself from smirking.
ICE TRE: The CHAMPION ... of YOUR Television, YOUR Television, HIS, HERS, *AND* Yo Momma's! I know what you GOTSTS to be thinking: "Tre! That sounds like a HUGE 'sponsibility! How you gonna do it? How you gonna keep the HATERS, the PERPETRATORS, and the ANTAGONATORS from CRUSHIN' the IMPOSSIBLE dream? Can you go against the 'STABLISHMENT, against DA GRAIN, and rise above the undeniaFiable politics that keep this company and this industry rollin' like the FATTEST of blunts? Ice Tre: Is You Fo' REAL?"
Tre thinks about it, perhaps analyzing the proposition for the first real time in his brief yet meteoric career.
ICE TRE: Let a brother put this in perspective fo' you funky @$$e$: the thangs you watch on TV, everyday. Ain't THEY real? Didn't Jed Clampett find that sweet, sticky-icky Black Gold and move his familation to Cali in order to strengthen his pimp hand? Didn't Fonzie jump that shark on Happy Dayz? You sayin' that MacGyver DIDN'T save the world with a paperclip, a cardboard box, and old, chewed gum? That B.A.Baracus DIDN'T pity each ... and EVERY fool he encountered? You gon' try and tell me the love that Dylan felt for Brenda in the 90210 wasn't REAL?
Really? Are you?
ICE TRE: You must be out yo' got'dayum MIND!
The only conceivable possibility.
ICE TRE: NEVER QUESTION whether The ILLEST is up to the challenge! NEVER WONDER if The BADDEST can carry the weight of the world on this 5 foot 10, 173 pound frame! NEVER ever DOUBT that Ice Tre will take on ALL challengers ... and EVERY sh!t-talker! Fusenshoff was, undoubtified, the most difficult challenge I've ever faced. He str8 TESTED Your Boy. And I Passed.
Tre tapped the gold with two fingers.
ICE TRE: Flyin' colors, an' sh!t.
Flipping the belt (with a muffled grunt) to his other shoulder, Tre's face twisted into instant anger as something else had suddenly, and quite intrusively, occurred to him.
ICE TRE: An' you know what? I did it like I do ERR'THANG! I beat Fusenshhhhhoff, took the belt-he-never-wanted like-I-said-I-would, and shook up the WORLD! I PUT ON for The Tre'niacs and the Hoodratz as ONLY I CAN! I did it by being just a LITTLE bit faster than anyone expected. I did it by being just a LITTLE smarter than ANYBODY wants to give a brotha credit fo'! And I did it by being in the right place -- EVERY TIME. By making the right choice -- WITHOUT FAIL, when it ALL matters the absolute MOST! Just Like I ALWAYS DO!
Mmm hmm.
ICE TRE: If you, the Empire Pro lockerroom and wrestling community at liggity-large, have never taken the time to REAAAAAAAALLY listen to me when I spit... If you wrote Ice Tre off as a joke, as a fraud, as ANYTHING other than TOO LEGIT... Take the time to hear me now. To finally b'lieve the game I'm 'bout to spray yo' way.
The monitors in the control room all jarringly cut to a tight shot of simply Tre's bleary eyes, his left appearing increasingly discolored and shiny. Even still, his eyes SCREAM "bad ass".
ICE TRE: I came here, whenever that was, to make a mark. To etch my name in history on the biggest, brightest, most promisin' stage of 'em all: Empire Pro Wrestling. In that time I've beaten EVERY top name they've thrown at me! When they STOPPED throwin' 'em at me? When they buried the Tre? I went out and CHALLENGED sucka's. I outsmarted, out wrestled, and out smoothed EVERYBODY! Try to put me out? I HEAL, SON. Try to lock me up? I'M OUT, B!TCH. CAN'T be stopped. CAN'T be faded.
CUTTO: A longer shot. Jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at the majestic backdrop behind him, smiling as though he has consumed feces.
ICE TRE: Up next? I got Stalker. I got Fusenshhhhoff. MY belt on the line. PRIDE on the line. Odds stacked against me ... right?
CUTTO: Back to the shot of the eyes, the bruise looking nastier every time we're shown a clear shot of it.
ICE TRE: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
FADEOUT, Televisions! So Says Your CHAMPION.