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iTunes or GTFO #9: V for Victoralicious Results

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fugginVOSS

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iTunes or GTFO! IX
V for Victoralicious
Palumbo Center, Pittsburgh, PA

[FADE-IN: on the INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP backdrop, hung in a warehouse somewhere. Standing before it is the IGCC Chief Executive Officer, MORTON MURPHY, wearing a silver suit with a black t-shirt beneath the jacket, little IGC Space Invader motif on the breast. By his side is IKAN JOBTAYOO, wearing a pink IGC polo shirt and his ring gear. MURPHY tries to focus on the camera but keeps taking glances back at JOBTAYOO.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to iTunes or GEE-TEE-EFF-OH where we’re recapping the proceedings of V for Victoralicious where we’ve got three BIIIIIG time matches ahead of us to show YOU, the IGC fans.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Ya, Mort. Zee showing be epic tonight, ya? Massive main eventing with zee Champunsheeep.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ike, are you wearing your ring gear?”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Mort, zis is zee wrestlink showing, ya?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ya. Ahem. I mean, yes.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Just in casing zere is zee match for Ikan he come prepartioned.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Oh, good grief. Tonight, I personally gave permission for the LAST single match qualifier in IGC, yes, the Monster’s Ball match between the SuperBeast from jOlt, Sylo, and the former monstrous OpenWeight Champion from NLW, Magnus Destructo.”

[SMASH CUT-TO: A red “V” being scratched into the screen before white letters fade in; “FOR” on top and “VICTORALICIOUS” below. The words “INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP QUALIFYING MATCH” stamp down across the bottom of the screen as the V for Victoralicious logo shrinks and moves top and center. MAGNUS DESTRUCTO’s face fills the screen and pushes off to the right hand side. He screams at the camera and runs his thumb across his throat before the image freezes, mid cutthroat. Filling the frame is the blue haired beast that is SYLO and it slowly pushes him to the left as he holds up his hands and puts them together before making a snapping motion and placing his hands on his hips.]

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Magnus had zee match ‘gainst Phillip, ya? But zee Sylo sayink zat he is zee King of AAAALLLLLLL zee monsters. Zis should be frightening bloody.”

[SMASH CUT-TO: MURPHY and JOBTAYOO against the backdrop. MURPHY smirks to himself. IKAN stands there wide-eyed mid-guffaw.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Two monsters smashing each other to pieces for the entertainment of you fans AS WELL AS an opportunity at the first show of the IGC Unlucky for Some Tour 2013. Yes, folks, the IGC goes on tour of the South and it’s a one way ticket to wrestling paradise as we go from coast-to-coast. Eight shows, gang, followed by the IGCC’s FIRST EVER Pay-Per-View, Synchronise Your Watches. This is going to be some epic event for EVERYONE OF ALL AGES!”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Amazing with zee shilling, ya?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Oh, HELLZ YA, Ike. Hellz ya. Following Sylo and Destructo we have our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! That’s right, it’s Phil Atken and Leyenda de Ocho going face to face for the first time since ULTRATITLE’s Suvivalism, Ike, and this time there’s no distractions. It’s one-on-one for the title.”

[SMASH CUT-TO: The screens fill with a V for Victoralicious logo scratching and fading into the screen again. The words “INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH” stamp down LEYENDA DE OCHO’s masked face fills the screen. His image is pushed back and to the left as he makes a triangle with his fingers to the camera and freezes. PHIL ATKEN’s face fills the screen and the image shoots back to a pre-filmed spot of ATKEN patting the Intergalactic Championship belt on his shoulder, pulling it out and kissing it before placing it back and his picture freezes as it is pushed to the right.]

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“I might be losing zee translator, Mort, but zere are Three Stages for Zelda?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I’m not entirely sure I understand the rules for this either, Ike, but here’s how WE, the Commission, have translated the stips requested by Leyenda de Ocho.

“The first stage of the match is a Ganon Rules Cage Match where escaping, climbing out of, exiting or being forced out of the cage will cost you the fall. That’s right. The only way to win the Ganon Rules Cage Match is by pinfall or submission victory to advance to the next stage.

“The second stage being the Hyrule Castle Ladder Match. I had to get a team to understand what the Hell Ocho was talking about but they figured it out. Above the ring is a twenty-five foot scaffold suspended above a ladder. Meaning, you need to climb a ten foot ladder to get up onto this scaffold. Meaning the bottom of the scaffold is about fifteen feet from the ring. Meaning the TOP of the scaffold is nearly forty feet in the air. To win the second stage, you need to climb the ladder and get onto the scaffold BEFORE the other guy. If you can’t do that you lose the fall.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Uh... you lost me when zee show was introduced.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I’m barely keeping up myself! The third, and final stage of this match, is the Skyward Sword Scaffold Match. Last man on the scaffold wins. You fall and it’s over for you. Hang tough and you’ll walk out of the Palumbo Center, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, as the Intergalactic Champion.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Who will win?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“You’ll find out along with the rest of us, Ike. But to kick things off, we have a match between Xoesh the Zith and Raucous to get a win under their belt, onwards to two in a row, to take with them on the IGC Tour. Let’s join them, mid-way through the action.”
 
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fugginVOSS

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Raucous v. Xoesh the Ztih

[FLASH CUT-TO: the arena buzzing intensely as we focus on the announce table consisting of PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN, wearing a tye dye polo shirt with an IGC Space Invader logo on the breast. To his right is PAIN GRILLE, wearing a purple two-piece suit which matches his purple mask with no shirt beneath the jacket.

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“And we kick off this whole shebang with a little bit of singles action as Raucous takes on a true intergalacticion in Xoesh and Zith, man.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Xoesh is certainly... unusual but not a guy I would rule out easily. ‘e showed zat he can certainly deal a lot of damage at Sorry You're Not a Winner and I t’ink tonight ‘e'll be looking to ensure zat ‘is ‘ome planet ‘as a ‘ero zey can respect.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“You're really gonna run with that one tonight, brother?”

[“You Know Who You Are” by Ministry cues up over the sound system. RAUCOUS pops out from behind the curtain yelling a bunch of jargon and pointing at the ring. He begins his march to the ring stopping in the center to place his hands on his hips. He then sprints to the ring and slides in only to rush to the nearest turn buckle and point to random fans for no reason other than to point at them.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“There he is, brother, one of the many high flyin’ competitors that just seem drawn towards the action that the Intergalactic Championship Commission can provide. Flippy little flyers like Raucous here who are lookin’ to make an impact and he's certainly catchin’ the fans' attention right now! He does kinda have a little S an’ M kinda thing goin’ though that reminds me of a girl I used to hang with in Amsterdam. Our safe word was EISENHAUER. Try sayin’ THAT with a rubber ball in ya gob. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“If you pointed at me, you'd ‘ave my attention too. Still, Raucous certainly ‘as a lot of ‘igh flying offense zat might cause a miss step or two from Xoesh and zat is something ‘e is going to ‘ave to tread very lightly about ‘ere tonight, ‘arry.”

[The Theme to Close Encounters of the Third Kind begins to blare over the speaker system as the lights dim in the arena. XOESH THE ZITH makes his way out from the back adorned in a black cloak as multicoloured flashing lights light up has way towards the ring. RAUCOUS leans up against the ropes, presumably glaring at XOESH as he enters the ring, removes his cloak and hands it off to a ring attendant.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“This match is gonna be fast and furious, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“We're running guns? Or cars?”

[As soon as the bell rings, RAUCOUS rushes towards XOESH but XOESH is quick to duck out of the way of the charging RAUCOUS. RAUCOUS quickly spins around to face XOESH head on again but as he does, XOESH grabs hold out RAUCOUS' head for a few brief moments, RAUCOUS trying to best to free himself from XOESH's grasp. After a few brief moments, XOESH lets RAUCOUS go and slowly looks him up and down.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘arry, what does zee rulebook say about brain scans because I t’ink Xoesh...”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Well... it's not AGAINST the rules as far as I can tell. Intergalactic advantage I suppose. WOOOOO!”

[RAUCOUS, a bit offended by the head grabbing affair leaps up and kicks XOESH square in the temple, sending XOESH staggering back a little, this is following by a second kick and the series is finished off with a spinning heel kick that sends XOESH tumbling down to the mat. RAUCOUS tries to continue his attack by springboarded off the ropes and down towards XOESH but XOESH rolls out of the way with a few moments to spare and RAUCOUS meets nothing but mat.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Raucous wastin’ no time in tryin’ to leave an impression with both Xoesh and the fans but ya gotta wonder if he's not riskin’ his body just a little but too early in this match. Kinda premature like I was that time that girl shelved ec--”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Let’s leave zat one alone. But ‘arry, I disagree ‘ere, Raucous’ best chance of victory ‘ere is to try and get Xoesh to meet ‘is pace, tire ‘im out. To do zat, Raucous needs to stay on top of ‘im like ‘e is right now.

[XOESH jumps back up to his feet but RAUCOUS meets him once more, XOESH grabs RAUCOUS and whips him towards the ropes, he awaits the rebound but RAUCOUS slides between XOESH's legs and lands down on the mats outside the ring. RAUCOUS stands on the outside of the ring, taunting for XOESH to come and get him. XOESH yells something incredibly unintelligible and rushes towards the ropes, feinting a dive to the outside but not following through on it. XOESH points to his skull much to the furor of the fans but the victory of wits doesn't last long as RAUCOUS grabs and trips his legs.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“I think that was Raucous' trap all along.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“If it wasn't, ‘e was about to be squashed on zee outside of zee ring by an alien, so ‘e ‘as to be t’anking god t’ings turned out in ‘is favour”

[RAUCOUS quickly leaps back up on to the apron and springboard splashes himself on top of XOESH from the apron. He stays on top of XOESH, looking for a quick pin attempt.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Well that trip could've been a costly one for Xoesh... HERE COMES RAUCOUS!


“ONE!





“TWO!





“FOOT ON THE ROPES!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘e just positioned Xoesh too close to zeeropes, Xoesh knew exactly where ‘e was, caught a bit of air and zen put ‘is foot zere to break zee count. Zat is a man... alien... person who knows exactly what ‘e is doing in zee ring.”

[XOESH launches RAUCOUS off of him but RAUCOUS with cat like reflexes manages to land on his feet. RAUCOUS rushes towards XOESH, looking to grab him in some sort of cutter move by XOESH manages to push him off. XOESH continues on the advantage, pushing RAUCOUS up against the ropes and smacking down a mighty paw right across his chest. RAUCOUS clutches his chest in agony but XOESH isn't satisfied and hammers in another. XOESH gets greedy with a third but RAUCOUS manages to roll out of the way and XOESH's mighty fists end up smashing into the ring ropes]

PAIN GRILLE:
“I can assure you right now, ‘arry, zat man is in agony right now. Zose ring ropes are unforgiving!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Especially these Intergalactic Commission right ropes, they are up to the highest standard because we know the fans appreciate a good quality ring.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Did Morty pay you to say zat?”

[RAUCOUS goes in for XOESH again but this time XOESH uses the momentum in his favour to scoop up RAUCOUS and slam him hard down into the mat. XOESH uses a brief moment to try and shake off the pain shoot up his hand before he scales up the ring ropes. XOESH gets to the top turnbuckle and begins to view the lay of the land, he sees RAUCOUS still woozy on the ground below and decides to go for it. XOESH jumps off the top rope looking for a diving leg drop but RAUCOUS manages to roll out of the way causing XOESH to crash into the ground ass first.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“I know we normally call zese moves ‘igh risk by YOW. Zat is something our alien friend will be feeling in zee morning.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Xoesh is just havin’ a hard time with the speed of Raucous, it just seems like everything he has plotted, everything he may have learned from that questionable mind scan of his... Raucous is just a little too quick to inflict damage...”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Well, you may ‘ave spoke too soon on zat...”

[RAUCOUS goes towards XOESH to follow up the attack, he appears to be looking for a Shining Wizard but XOESH manages to duck out of the way of the knee rapidly approaching his face. Still feeling the after effects from his fall from grace, XOESH manages to use enough will to clip RAUCOUS at the knees. RAUCOUS almost does a 180 degree flip as he collapses in a heap on the mat.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“And zat, ‘arry, is zee power of momentum.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Xoesh may have bought himself some time but he's still hurting and he needs to get on the attack quick if he wants to follow up on this opening.”

[XOESH uses the ring ropes to slowly pull himself back up to an even base as RAUCOUS rolls around on the mat clutching at his knee. XOESH clutches his back and hobbles over towards RAUCOUS, giving a few solid stomps to the ole bread basket. He grabs RAUCOUS by the mask, a fact that the fans do not appreciate very much at all, and pulls him back up. He slams RAUCOUS into the corner, and delivers a few elbow shots to the skull to make sure that RAUCOUS stays in place. XOESH takes a few steps back and takes measure of the situation. He looks to the fans and then back towards RAUCOUS and smiles. This is following by XOESH attempts to kick a field goal using RAUCOUS' skull. RAUCOUS slumps down in the corner but XOESH doesn't stop the punishment, dropkicking RAUCOUS right in the temple.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“That's gotta be a double whammy that Raucous will certainly not forget like them twins I met in Thaliand with the foot trick. WOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I still ‘ave to wonder just ‘ow much power is behind zese blows. I know ‘ow it is in zee ring and Xoesh must still be ‘urting bad from zat crash and burn earlier.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“I guess we're about to find out. Xoesh now dragging Raucous from the corner, Xoesh... HOOKS THE LEG!




“ONE!








“TWO!









“NO! Raucous managed to get his shoulder up at the last second.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“If Xoesh didn't take zat leap earlier, zis one could very well ‘ave been over and you can see ze frustration in ze alien's face. ‘e is not at one avec zee universe right now.”

[A frustrated XOESH covers RAUCOUS again but RAUCOUS kicks out. Another cover, another kickout. XOESH slaps the mat in frustration before dropping down for another cover.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Xoesh needs to clear his head, this frustration is going to cost hi...SMALL PACKAGE! RAUCOUS HAS HIM!



“ONE!








“TWO!










“No! Xoesh manages to power out of it.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Xoesh zee Zith ‘as certainly been rattled by zat, ‘e did not expect zis kind of competition from zee relatively unknown Raucous.”

[RAUCOUS scrambles back up to his feet, a little bit surprised in himself. Just as the referee turns around to confirm that it the count was indeed a two towards the timekeeper...]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Where on Earth did Xoesh get that flying saucer from? He looks like he's got bad intentions and neither the referee or Raucous can see it!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“It's a flying saucer, it's not from Earth. Well... really it's a trash can lid but I try to play along.”

[RAUCOUS turns towards XOESH and XOESH SLAMS the flying saucer into RAUCOUS' skull, XOESH quickly stashes his trash can lid under the ring as the referee turns around to see what the noise was. XOESH looks over at the now fallen RAUCOUS and drags him into the middle of the ring]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“This is unnecessary! This is unbecoming of an Intergalactic competitor! We already have a disgraced champion, we don't need any more of this!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Xoesh flipping Raucous over but is zis really needed? Raucous is clearly out cold but Xoesh still wants to play ‘is part! ‘e's locked in that Saedomoen Clutch nice and tight but Raucous can't even tap out!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“The referee now going over to check on Raucous. He raises his hand...





“It drops once...







“It drops twice...







“Three times! This was pure theatrics but it's over. Xoesh the Zith has his win!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Maybe ‘is ‘ome planet ‘as zeir own rules”
 

fugginVOSS

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Back to the Studio!

[FADE INTO: the studio where MORTON shakes his head. JOBTAYOO looks super excited.]

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Ikan is never have seen real life aliens and UFO’s, Morty. Where did you get him?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“From under a rock, clearly. That despicable win over Raucous, costing Raucous his debut IGC win with that trash can lid...”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“That was flying saucer, yah?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Nah. Well, Ikan, after that match things are just heating up.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“All zis heating is making zee Ikan moist.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Do you mean... sweaty?”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Ikan don’t finking so.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Oh, man. We’re cutting mid-way through action of the Monster’s Ball match between Sylo and Magnus Destructo to CROWN our King of ALL Monsters after the Big Blue Nightmare made accusations that it was HE that holds that crown. Magnus Destructo was none too pleased with the call and wanted to put the SuperBeast’s head on a spike.

“Both men spent the previous TWENTY-FOUR hours locked in solitary confinement as per the ORIGINAL rules of a Monster’s Ball match.”

[SMASH CUT-TO: SPLIT SCREEN: sped up footage of MAGNUS DESTRUCTO and SYLO being locked into solitary rooms without windows. As the doors to the rooms shut the camera switches to night vision, filming from the top right corner of the room. Both men start out civilly within their confinements. SYLO sits on the makeshift bed with his back against the room. DESTRUCTO paces.]

MORTON MURPHY: (voice over)
“Twenty-four hours in solitary confinement does things to a man’s mind. And when you introduce their enemy into a place where only they dwell with their mind it changes a man.”

[As the time gradually moves forward you can see them slowly drawing to madness. At random intervals flashes of their opponent’s face appears on the wall. In the progression of time you can see their reaction changing and becoming more menacing to the flashes of their enemy as time wears on.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The purpose of the solitary confinement is to INSURE we have two monsters battling it out in all out war. And as you can imagine, this duo are already unstable enough and did NOT require much prodding to put them in full beast mode.”

[By the end of the footage we can see SYLO pulling his bed apart and smashing every piece of it into the image of DESTRUCTO as it remains on his wall. In MAGNUS’ cell we see him pounding his fists into the concrete wall, headbutting the image. Blood runs down his face.]

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“It is safely to saying, Morty, zat I are so scared for my life wrestling zese two monsterlings.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Uh... Ikan, you’re not wrestling EITHER of these guys.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Phew. I DID using to wrestle zee bears. But zese monstrostieseses are far more scaring zan zee bear, yah?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Oh Hell YAH, Ike. Let’s head to the action!”
 

fugginVOSS

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Magnus Destructo v. Sylo

[SMASH CUT-TO: the “V” being scratched into the screen with the rest of the “FOR VICTORALICIOUS” fading slowly in below. SMASH CUT-TO: the ring where MAGNUS DESTRUCTO and SYLO are standing toe-to-toe punching one another violently.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“pain, these two fellers are tryin’ ta rearrange one another’s faces FISTICUFF style in that there ring. WOOOOO! This match has been intense from the get go.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“’arry, zese men are brutes. Zey are zee monsters and only one of zem gets to walk away avec such a crown.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“You bet yer French ass they do. AND they will ALSO walk away with a Intergalactic Championship shot. Magnus, backin’ the SuperBeast into a corner with them rights. Irish whip ‘cross the ring – Magnus charges like a rodeo bull.”

[DESTRUCTO leaps with a big splash into the corner. He steps back, throws his head back and unleashes a maniacal laugh. SYLO grabs DESTRUCTO by either side of the head and tosses him into the corner.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo turns things ‘round, brother. Shoulder thrusts t’the belly and the beast is stunned. Irish whip across the ring and this time SYLO flies with an avalanche splash into the corner.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis whole match, ‘arry, ‘as been back and forth. Neizer of zese two men are able to get zee upper’and.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo climbin’ the turnbuckle, driving them meaty fists into the face’f Magnus Destructo and the Beast of Burden just coppin’ ‘em on the chin, brother. Axehandle into the top’f the head. Destructo falls to his ass in the corner.”

[SYLO takes the opportunity to roar at the fans before taking control. Drives a knee into the face of DESTRUCTO. Then another. Referee KEITH tries to get him away but realises the only rules are that one of them pins the other.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo fixin’ t’do some homemade rhinoplasty on the face’f Magnus Desructo, brother, drivin’ them knees hard and fast into the face’f Magnus. Pulls him to his feet. Knee to the belly. DDT and Sylo has taken control of this match.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is zee first time zat one of zese men ‘ave taken control for more zan one second, ‘arry. And it comes at zee ‘ands of zee much more experienced SuperBeast.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo draggin’ Destructo to the outside. Leans him against the guard rail – WOOOOO! Knife edge chop. Decapitation style. I ain’t seen someone gaspin’ for air like that since that video of Michael Hutchence leaked onto the Net. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oh no, ‘arry. You did NOT go zere.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo now, pulling Destructo into a bear hug – OH MAN ALIVE! Sylo just tossed Destructo over his head with a release suplex and Destructo took that ringside paddin’ right to the spine.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And ‘arry, as you know, zee padding is not so protective. It’s mainly zere just to take zee edge off zee concrete.”

[SYLO grabs one corner of the padding and pulls it up off of the ground, revealing the concrete beneath.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Well, brother, it don’t do much for ya if it ain’t there. Sylo’s pullin’ up ALL the mats ringside over there and he’s lookin’ for blood.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Lookin’ for blood, ‘arry, zat’s exactly what he is doing zere. Now he’s pulling up zee aprons to find zee weapons. What does he ‘ave there?”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Looks like a replica Intergalactic Championship belt, pain. KRA-KOOM, BROTHER! Takes that pretend belt right to the head of Magnus Destructo as he gets to his knees.”

[DESTRUCTO flails forward flat on his face as SYLO holds the belt high above his head. He throws it down as hard as he can into the back of DESTRUCTO’s head before heading to his own corner and snatching up the chain he brought down with him.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo grabbin’ the tow chain he brought down to the ring with him. pain, that chain’s gotta be eighty pounds. You don’t tow nothin’ without somethin’ AT LEAST that heavy, brother.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I do not sink zat my stomach could handle seeing zee flesh being TORN from Destructo’s body, ‘arry. Sylo’s wrapping zee chain around his fist.”

[With the chain wrapped around his right hand, SYLO pulls up DESTRUCTO to get a clear shot of his face and he nails him with a massive right hook. DESTRUCTO’s body goes limp and SYLO roars at the fans before dropping the chain, rolling DESTRUCTO over and making the cover.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“THERE’S THE COVER, BROTHER!




“ONE!






“TWO!









“THREE!





“NO DICE! DESTRUCTO! SHOULDER UP!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat was zee close call, ‘arry.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“A VERY close call, pain, and if ya take a look at Destructo, on hands and knees, there’s blood POURIN’ out’f that mans forehead like hooker with a coathanger, brother. WOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“You ‘ave SUCH a way with zee words, ‘arry.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo, none too impressed with Destructo kickin’ out’f that cover, pulls him to his feet and drives a knee into his belly. Standin’ headscissors... this only goes bad from here for Magnus, pain.”

[SYLO heaves the monstrous DESTRUCTO up, turns around and powerbombs him onto the exposed concrete flooring ringside. The fans pop loudly as DESTRUCTO barely moves ringside.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Powerbomb onto zee exposed concrete and zat zere is ONE brutalised brute, ‘arry.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo ain’t done there either, brother. Pulls a steel chair out from under the ring and DRIIIIIVES it into the belly of Destructo again and again and again and again!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Destructo trying fruitlessly to cover ‘is midsection, ‘arry. Zose blows would be tenderising his gut.”

[Done with the edge of the chair, SYLO raises the chair above his head and brings it down hard and fast but DESTRUCTO manages to kick a boot skyward, collecting the chair which hits SYLO on the chin and stumbles the SuperBeast away from him.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Magnus diggin’ deep, brother, kickin’ that chair with all his might but the SuperBeast ain’t done. He comes chargin’ like a rabid bull...”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Can bulls get rabies, ‘arry?”

[SYLO comes charging forward but DESTRUCTO manages to roll onto his haunches and leap toward him, driving him into the concrete SYLO revealed earlier.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“I don’t think so. Chargin’ like a buill with mad cow disease?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat makes more sense.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Magnus mountin’ Sylo’s chest after drivin’ him into the cold, hard concrete with a spear. He’s just slammin’ those fists down onto the top’f Sylo’s blue hair like a man possessed and the Demonic Disaster is takin’ back what’s his. The momentum.”

[DESTRUCTO pulls SYLO up to a seated position by his hair before clutching the back of the SuperBeast’s head and driving his knee into his face time and time again.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“If there’s ever a match been so brutal I don’t think I’ve ever seen it, brother. Magnus Destructo is pulverising the face of Sylo into ground meat.”

[Finished with the knees, DESTRUCTO allows SYLO to flail to the ground. He pulls up the apron and rummages around before finding a table. Then he goes back for another one.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“What zee ‘ell is Destructo doing, ‘arry?”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“He’s settin’ up two tables, brother, side-by-side and he’s pullin’ Sylo on top’f one. He’s putting the other table up above him. Sylo’s in some sort’f table sandwich.”

[DESTRUCTO calls over GOLLOMACH, who dares not ignore his master’s orders, and points to the top rope. The fans all rise to their feet in anticipation as GOLLOMACH shakes his head, clearly not interested in the orders that DESTRUCTO is barking. MAGNUS points inside the ring and follows the reluctant GOLLOMACH.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Magnus Destructo’s got some sort’f sick plan goin’ through his sick head to do somethin’ sick to the Big, Blue Brutalitarian, pain, and I dunno if I can bear to watch.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Pittsburgh is only too willing, ‘arry. Every fan is standing on zeir feet to see what ‘appens next.”

[DESTRUCTO climbs to the top rope and a reluctant GOLLOMACH climbs up beside him, climbing onto his shoulders in almost a sacrifice as DESTRUCTO holds him in position for a powerbomb.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“OH NO! ZIS IS INSANITY!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Listen them fans, brother...”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“HO-LEE SHIT! HO-LEE SHIT! HO-LEE SHIT!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“HERE COMES MAGNUS DESTRUCTO!”

[DESTRUCTO then leaps with a sitdown powerbomb, landing on the top table and driving his servant, GOLLOMACH, through the table, down onto SYLO and through the second table into the exposed concrete below and the whole of the Palumbo Center roar loudly in unison. FLASH CUT-TO: fans covering their mouths with their eyes wide open. FLASH CUT-TO: a father covering his child’s eyes. FLASH CUT-TO: the commentary table where BALKIN’s mouth gapes wide open and GRILLE holds his hands on his head in disbelief. FLASH CUT-TO: DESTRUCTO sitting on top of the TWO bodies beneath him with a sadistic grin on his face piercing through the crimson mask of blood caked onto his make-up. He pushes GOLLOMACH off of SYLO and makes the cover.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“THERE’S THE COVER!






“ONE!








“TWO!









“THREE!”

[The fans pop loudly as SYLO bursts a shoulder off the canvas with every last ounce of energy that he can muster. DESTRUCTO sits up, eyes wide with disbelief, pawing at the blood in his eyes. SYLO goes back to floundering on his back.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“HE GOT A SHOULDER UP! HOW the HELL did Sylo get his damn shoulder off the concrete?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Look at Gollomach, ‘e ‘as not moved a muscle yet, ‘arry.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Magnus Destructo cannot believe his demonic little eyeballs that Sylo got that shoulder up. The referee, Doug Keith, is on his knees in just as much disbelief as the Baron of Brutality and this Palumbo Center is buzzin’ like a box’f vibrators on set with Chyna. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I was just sick in zee back of my t’roat.”

[DESTRUCTO gets to his feet, kicking away scraps of table, stands over SYLO and shakes his head before making his way to the apron again. He lifts up the apron and pulls out a mace.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“HOLY CRAP, BROTHER! Magnus got himself a mace and I DO NOT ever wanna be Sylo ever again. This cannot be good!”

[Pulling the mace back over his head, DESTRUCTO swings to drive it down but KEITH grabs onto the mace to add some resistance to the swing, stopping MAGNUS. DESTRUCTO turns on the official, DOUG KEITH, threatening with an elbow as SYLO begins to stir behind him. DESTRUCTO pushes KEITH against the guard rail, holding him there with one hand and pulling back the mace with the other.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Destructo has lost his mind. He’s gonna belt Doug Keith with that mace and smash his face up good and proper like Stedman Graham havin’ the Big O sit on his face. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Yep... definitely t’rew up in my mouth zat time.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Destructo brings down the mac--- NO! SYLO ON HIS FEET! Sylo blocks the mace. Spins Destructo around. Kick to the belly – SYSTEMATIC SHUTDOWN!”

[The fans roar loudly as SYLO nails his finishing move on DESTRUCTO and dives onto him to hook the leg. KEITH drops quickly to count the cover.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“COVER!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“ONE!










“TWO!














“THREE!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“NO! Destructo kicks out. Sylo cannot believe ‘is eyes.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“That count was quicker than a thirteen year-old poppin’ his cherry, brother. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Gollomach still isn’t moving, ‘arry.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo collectin’ his tow chain, pain. How long would you say that thing is?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Is zis a penis joke, ‘arry?”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“We’ve sat at this table too long together, brother. That tow chain is about six feet long. And he’s wrappin’ the end of that round the neck of Magnus Destructo. Round and round. Up on the apron, over the top rope AND HE’S TRYING TO HANG MAGNUS DESTRUCTO USING THE TOP ROPE AS LEVERAGE!”

[DESTRUCTO gaps and slaps at the chain, trying to pull it from around his neck as SYLO pulls harder and harder, trying to pull the 314 pounds of DESTRUCTO off of his feet. DESTRUCTO is grunting and choking as he tries to release the chain from his neck to no avail.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is abominable, ‘arry. ‘ow can zee referee let zis go on! ZERE ARE CHILDREN IN ZEE AUDIENCE!”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Sylo just edgin further back to get that leverage and Destructo is on his toes. He’s at the stretch of his limit and he can’t do a thing about it. He can’t get any releief. Golomach ain’t even movin’ yet and HE can’t even save his master.”

[On tip toes, DESTRUCTO can’t stop the leverage SYLO is getting inside the ring. He’s pulled up tight against the apron and uses the last of his toes grip to bounce up into a seated position on the apron causing SYLO to stumble as he takes up the slack and fall. The chain falls loose and immediately DESTRUCTO begins to unravel his neck from the chain.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Some way an’ somehow Destructo gets on the apron and the slack takes Sylo’s balance. But the SuperBeast is back on his feet and he charges WITH A SPEAR RIGHT THROUGH THE ROPES TAKIN’ DESTRUCTO DOWN TO RING SIDE AGAIN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oh zee brutality. Zese men really ARE trying to crown zee King of ALL Monsters, ‘arry.”

[In a heap on the ground, SYLO slowly begins to sit up but DESTRUCTO is the first to rise to his feet, still gasping for air from the brutal hanging attempt. Using the apron to pull himself up, the gash on his head finally sealed by the coagulated blood, drives a stomp into the base of SYLO’s spine before pulling him to his feet.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“The onslaught continues, brother. One minute Magnus has control, the next Sylo is wailin’ away on him. How can this brutality end?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I do not know but I ‘ope zat Morton Murphy ‘as zee undertaker on stand-by.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“Destructo, drives Sylo’s face into the top of the guard rail. Gollomach STILL hasn’t moved a muscle. I think he might be dead. Irish whip – FACE FIRST into the ring post.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ahhhh, ‘arry. Should we be worried zat zey are making zeir way toward us, mon ami?”

[SYLO staggers back from his face bouncing off steel as DESTRUCTO cups the back of his head again, marching him toward the announce table. PAIN GRILLE stands from his chair and moves back from the action. BALKIN slides his chair back.]

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“That look in Magnus’ eye only tells me he’s lookin’ to smash this table to smithereens with one SuperBeast, pain. Scoops Sylo up – powerslam onto the announce table but Sylo just bounces right across. He’s litereally lyin’ here at my feet.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“LOOK OUT, ‘ARRY!”

[DESTRUCTO steps onto the announce table and leaps off, driving both knees into the sternum of the fallen SYLO, collecting BALKIN with a wayward arm in the process. BALKIN reels back off his chair as DESTRUCTO mounts SYLO’s chest and wails fists into his face.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“’arry? Are you alright? Zere’s blood.”

PLAYBOY HARRY BALKIN:
“I fink dat moverfugger jus’ broke my fuggen mose, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oh boy. Zat is not zee way a nose should look.”

[BALKIN, repeatedly checking the blood filling his hand looks wild. DESTRUCTO pulls SYLO to his feet and rolls him onto the announce table.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“My broadcast partner ‘as done ‘imself zee mischief. What are you doing, ‘arry? Zat is a bad idea!”

[BALKIN tosses his headset off and spins DESTRUCTO around. He rains a big right onto DESTRUCTO, reeling him back against the announce table. The fans pop loudly as BALKIN throws another wild right. And another.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“arry Balkin, zee Playboy, is going to town on Magnu—UH-OH! BIG KNEE FROM DESTRUCTO!”

[DESTRUCTO doubles BALKIN over beside the announce table and puts him in a standing headscissors. He threatens GRILLE with an elbow.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Whoa, Magnus! Do what you do. I am not going to stop you, mon ami.”

[GRILLE backs off as far as his headset will allow as lifts BALKIN into the air.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“DESTRUCTO-BOMB! RIGHT ONTO SYLO! ZEE ANNOUNCE TABLE ‘AS BUSTED TO PIECES! Oh zee carnage. And I’m am left ‘ere alone to broadcast zis match. “

[Throwing his head back, hands balled into fists, DESTRUCTO roars loudly. BALKIN doesn’t move. SYLO slowly tries to sit-up, shoving BALKIN’s carcass off of his body. MAGNUS sees what’s going on and returns his attention to SYLO.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“’arry Balkin put ‘is broken nose in where it wasn’t wanted and suffered zee consequences. Destructo-Bomb’ed right onto Sylo and ‘arry BARELY moves zee muscle.”

[DESTRUCTO leaps onto SYLO, throwing wild fists as SYLO tries to throw some back. He manages to drive a knee up into DESTRUCTO’s bread basket to allow some time for him to regain his feet. Both men up, DESTRUCTO charges at SYLO who hits a massive big boot right into DESTRUCTO’s face dropping him to the floor on the spot.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“OOOOHHHHH! Big boot from Sylo. He rolls Destructo into zee ring.”

[FLASH CUT-TO: MUNCHY MAN and THE BULLSEYE KID heading down from the back. Not running, just taking their time as ring crew walk with them. FLASH CUT-TO: SYLO watching them as they make their way around the ring toward PAIN GRILLE.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“What are zese idiots doing?”

[FLASH CUT-TO: THE HAUGHTY TROUPE, as the duo are known, take seats at the broken announce table. GRILLE takes a seat beside them. FLASH CUT-TO: SYLO ignoring the duo and pulling DESTRUCTO to his feet, whipping him into the ropes before driving him into the canvas with a side slam.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“To what do I owe zee pleasure of you two joining me?”

MUNCHY MAN:
“In case ya didn’t recognise, frog, Balkin’s down for the count. You needed some back up so them Powers That Be out back sent me and Bully here to your rescue. Shit’s about to get entertaining.”

[SYLO drops onto DESTRUCTO for the cover.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Sylo, the SuperBeast, covering the Baron of Brutality...






“ONE!




“TWO!




“TH—“

MUNCHY MAN:
“Oooooh, power out. Sylo couldn’t close the door on that one. Luggin’ Destructo up on his stilts and backs him into the corner.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Crackin’ knife edge chops leaving welts on the throat of Magnus Destructo. Kinda reminds me of the shots you took from Jay Sully “the Last Native Nightmare”, Munch.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“That was one Hell of a match we won, Bully. That was back in two-thousand and fou—“

PAIN GRILLE:
“While you two contemplate taking us down memory lane let my remind you of your obligations for zis broadcast.”

[SYLO rips at the protective vest that DESTRUCTO wears, pulling it open to expose the bare flesh. He pushes DESTRUCTO’s head back as far as he can and comes down with a thunderous slap with his frying pan hand.]

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“OOOOOOOOOH!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Sylo looking to cave zee ribs in with ‘is hands. Murderous slap.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“Sylo crackin’ in a massive high knee into those ribs. Irish whip ‘cross the ring. Chargin’ – NO! Destructo rolls outta the corner and Sylo’s ribs eat turnbuckle. Elbow to the back of Sylo’s head.”

[DESTRUCTO grabs SYLO by the back of the head and slams it down against the turnbuckle. He pulls SYLO’s head back again to deliver another turnbuckle blow.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Sylo BLOCKS that face-meet-turnbuckle and shoots a stiff elbow catchin’ Maggie on the jaw. Spins – rocks him with a right. Rocks him with a right. HARD right. Destructo on the backstep.”

[Wildly, DESTRUCTO throws a clothesline but SYLO ducks beneath it, rolls around him with a reverse waistlock and lifts DESTRUCTO up, into the air, driving him into the canvas with a big back drop.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee momentum of zis match shifts more zan any ozher match I ‘ave ever beared witness to.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“Look at the strength of Sylo, just throwin’ three-hunny cakes of meat into the canvas like a God damn rag doll.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Sylo, into zee ropes. Drives a knee into zee side of Destructo’s ribs. Stands--- Oh, drops a big knee into zee side of Magnus’ face.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“These two men are at war. I’ve been watching backstage and it’s just HELL! Magnus’ face is caked in his own blood. There is bruising around his neck. Sylo’s back has cuts and abrasions in it from going through not one but TWO tables already. And it kinda feels like it’s never gonna end.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Well, it DOES ‘ave to end. Zere is only FIVE more minutes of zis bout remaining.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Oh man... these men DO NOT want to re-match!”

[SYLO mounts the chest of DESTRUCTO and drops some stiff MMA elbows in his face setting the blood free again. He turns his attention to the turnbuckle where he begins to remove the covering.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“Exposed concrete! Exposed turnbuckles! There are scars comin’ out’f this match. Scars you can point to and tell ya kid That’s when I wrestled Sylo... That’s when I fought for thirty minutes with Magnus Destructo!

[Pulling DESTRUCTO to his feet, SYLO drives a knee into his rib-cage before Irish whipping him into the corner. DESTRUCTO hits the exposed turnbuckle ribs first and staggers out of the corner gasping for air. SYLO comes in from behind and hits a massive dropkick right into the centre of DESTRUCTO’s back sending him charging chest forward back into the turnbuckle.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“I think I can see blood runnin’ down the chest of Magnus Destructo. He could have broken ribs.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“’e is sucking wind very ‘ard.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Sylo, from behind, pulling Destructo to his feet. Irish whip. Destructo returns—FLAPJACK! RELEASE FLAPJACK!”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“HO-LEE SHIT! HO-LEE SHIT! HO-LEE SHIT!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Sylo just flapjacked Magnus Destructo into zee air in perfect position for ‘im to land face first onto zee exposed steel of zee turnbuckle and zere is SO much blood in zat ring.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“COVER!






“ONE!





“TWO!






“THREE!”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“NO! Shoulder up! Shoulder up!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“’ow on earth did he get ‘is shoulder up?”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“I don’t know but they’re gonna have to just rip that canvas up and toss it out after this match. There is blood. SSOOOOOOO much blood. Sylo has busted Magnus open in TWO places on his face. One on his cheek and on his forehead. There’s a gash and some IMMEDIATE bruising on his chest as well. Destructo is going through a war but the SuperBeast just can’t put a fork in him.”

[SYLO runs his hand down his face in complete shock. DESTRUCTO rises to his feet, bloodied and bruised, barely able to see. Blood runs down onto his chest as he holds onto the top rope to gather himself. SYLO pounds the canvas, roars at the fans and charges at DESTRUCTO.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“Sylo charging—SIDE STEP! Destructo just shoves Sylo at the exposed turnbuckle but Sylo manages to grab the ropes and stop himself before he can hit it.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Destructo seems to have found a THIRD wind. He charges with a knee right in the gut. Sylo doubled over. Destructo with a STANDING HEADSCISSORS!”

MUNCHY MAN:
“Sylo grabs one of Destructo’s legs and lifts it—MAGNUS JUST SITS DOWN! DRIVING THE FACE OF SYLO INTO THE CANVAS!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! Zese men will NOT die!”

[DESTRUCTO rises to his feet, still wonky from the blood loss, trying to pull SYLO up. But SYLO slaps his grip away and nails him with a stiff right. DESTRUCTO rains one back. They begin to exchange punches. Slowly, mounting all the power they can, they strike punches at each other’s head.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“This feels like some kind of scene out of a movie. Two gladiators, bloodied and broken, trying to find the last inch of power to muster as they pound each other’s face into obvlivion.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I feel like Chariots of Fire should be playing over zee announce system.”

[SYLO hits two in a row. Followed by s third. DESTRUCTO’s arms fall by his sides as he just takes the punches on the chin. SYLO swings with a wild haymaker but DESTRUCTO manages to duck beneath it and in a burst of energy drives an elbow through the back of SYLO’s head dropping SYLO down to all fours.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“BIG – STIFF elbow into the back of Sylo’s head and he’s gotta be seein’ birdies flyin’ rings ‘round it.”

[DESTRUCTO, someway somehow, grabs both of SYLO’s leg in a wheelbarrow hold and lifts him up with a wheelbarrow facebuster RIGHT onto the exposed turnbuckle in an explosion of blood.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU!”

MUNCHY MAN:
“HOLY SHIT!”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“EYE – GEE – SEE! HO – LEE – SHIT! EYE – GEE – SEE! HO – LEE SHIT!”

[SYLO lays motionless in the corner, face down as blood pools on top of the blood which had already stained the canvas.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Is ‘e dead?”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Speaking of dead, I think I just saw Gollomach stir. I cannot believe what I just saw. Wheelbarrow facebuster onto the exposed steel.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Both men are down for zee count. Zey are struggling now. Every part of zeir body is aching in agony and I do not believe I ‘ave seen a more brutal contest zan zese two men going toe-to-toe. Gollomach is finally sitting up. ‘e actually looks pleased avec what ‘appened. I do not understand.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“What’s he got? What’s in his hands?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“THE MACE! DESTRUCTO IS GOING TO CAVE IN SYLO’S ‘EAD!”

[GOLLOMACH slides the mace under the bottom rope of the ring to MAGNUS DESTRUCTO, who picks it up and uses it to help get himself to his feet. SYLO is pulling himself up the ropes to his feet. He’s wonky and dizzy. His eyes are blinded by the blood.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“Destructo’s windin’ that bat up lookin’ to clobber Sylo like a baby seal and the SuperBeast ain’t seen it coz that blood is thick in his eyes.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“Sylo’s got his feet. Destructo is pulling back that mace. I can’t bear to watch this.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“DESTRUCTOOOOOOOO—NO! Sylo with a boot to the guts. Roars at the fans. He’s found a second li—NO! MACE TO THE BELLY! MACE TO THE BELlY!”

MUNCHY MAN:
“OH MY GOD! HOLY SHITBALLS!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“DESTRUCTO BOOOOOOOOMB!”

[DESTRUCTO drives SYLO into the canvas and with all his might left, he tries to crawl on top of him. GOLLOMACH rolls in and helps pull his boss over the downed SYLO as DOUG KEITH is already on the canvas to count this one out.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“ONE!









“TWO!










“THREE!”

***DING! DING! DING!***

PAIN GRILLE:
“’E DID IT! MAGNUS DESTRUCTO ‘AS PINNED SYLO!”

MUNCHY MAN:
“LOOK OUT, SYLO!”

[DESTRUCTO heaves to his feet, snatching up the mace, winding up to smash it over the fallen body of SYLO as FLASH CUT-TO: SECURITY rush from the back to the ring. FLASH CUT-TO: DESTRUCTO sees them coming and begins swinging the mace wildly to stop them entering the ring. FLASH CUT-TO: One brave SECURITY GUARD grabs the arm of SYLO and the mace comes crashing down onto his forearm. He screams.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“OH MAN! THAT ARM’S GOTTA BE BROKE!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Security are trying to pull Sylo to safety but Destructo is ‘ell bent on following t’rough avec zee promise of caving in Sylo’s ‘ead.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“HE’S SWINGIN’ AGAIN!”

[FLASH CUT-TO: DESTRUCTO pulling back to swing again. FLASH CUT-TO: Two guards grabbing SYLO’s ankles and pulling him out of the ring as the mace comes crashing down into the canvas where SYLO’s head was. FLASH CUT-TO: DESTRUCTO screaming angrily at the guards. He tosses the mace down and steps over the ropes onto the apron. FLASH CUT-TO: SYLO coming to, an arm over the shoulders of two security guards. Starting to shake the cobwebs.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“That mace shot was too close for comfort. I’m SOOO glad he never connected.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“LOOK AT SYLO!”

[SYLO charges and Lou Thesz presses DESTRUCTO to the floor ringside and is raining punches down into DESTRUCTO’s face. DESTRUCTO, underneath, is throwing hammerfists onto the top of SYLO’s head as SECURITY attempt to pull the SuperBeast off him. FLASH CUT-TO: More SECURITY and PITTSBURGH PD running from the back to assist.]

MUNCHY MAN:
“HERE COME THE PO-PO!”

[They all dog-pile onto the bodies already there. Eventually, they’re able to pull SYLO off of DESTRUCTO, but a team remain on top of DESTRUCTO, who is trying to get up onto his feet.]

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“THEY’RE CUFFING SYLO! They’re rolling Destructo over onto his belly and cuffing him.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“It is probably for zee better. Zese two were so closely matched and it was just zat last Destructo Bomb zat separated zem for more zan t’ree seconds, Kid. Zee only way zey can separate zese two monsters is by force. Zat is ALL zey understand.”

THE BULLSEYE KID:
“There’s cops covered in Sylo blood. Covered in Destructo blood. There’s blood everywhere and I think some of the local law enforcers might’ve been busted open in the fraccard.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“And let’s not forget about that poor ESS-OH-BEE that had his forearm smashed. But the only positive that can be taken from this is we DID find a winner.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Positive for Magnus Destructo. Negative for Phil. Or Leyenda if ‘e can take zee title.”

MUNCHY MAN:
“May God have mercy on their soul.”
 
Last edited:

fugginVOSS

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Back to the Studio!

[CUT-TO: MORTON MURPHY standing with IKAN JOBTAYOO in the studio. He’s in complete awe of what went down. JOBTAYOO’s face is paler in comparison to earlier shots of him. His hands are on his head. MURPHY turns to JOBTAYOO.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Are you okay, Ike?”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“That be being zee craziest, yah? SOOOOO much blood. Ikan no liking all zee bloody faces. Makes Ikan feel weak in belly.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“It was some blood bath which took local law enforcement and our whole security team to pull these two apart and separate them. The battle was so closely fought there was nothing at all in it. Just three seconds. And that’s all it takes.”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Making sure you let Ikan know how he never getting in zee ring with monsters like zem, yah?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I wouldn’t wish that upon my own worst enemy. But unfortunately for Atken or Ocho, one of them will have to face Magnus Destructo at the VERY FIRST show of the Unlucky for Some Tour in Louisville, Kentucky, as IGC hits the road and tours the South.

“The only question left unanswered is... did Phil Atken retain? Did Ocho overcome the wily veteran and obtain his first piece of gold?”

IKAN JOBTAYOO:
“Did he?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Let’s go to the action.”
 

fugginVOSS

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Intergalactic Championship Match: Leyenda de Ocho v. Phil Atken (c)

[SMASH CUT-TO: The screens fill with a V for Victoralicious logo scratching and fading into the screen again. The words “INTERGALACTIC CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH” stamp down LEYENDA DE OCHO’s masked face fills the screen. His image is pushed back and to the left as he makes a triangle with his fingers to the camera and freezes. PHIL ATKEN’s face fills the screen and the image shoots back to a pre-filmed spot of ATKEN patting the Intergalactic Championship belt on his shoulder, pulling it out and kissing it before placing it back and his picture freezes as it is pushed to the right.]

[CUT-TO: the Palumbo Center screaming loudly as the final pieces of the three stages are put together. All the fans are staring up as the techs put the last few boards down on the scaffold. FLASH CUT-TO: “PEPPER” PETE PEPPINS standing inside the cage already around the ring with a microphone in hand.]

“PEPPER” PETE PEPPINS:
“Ladiiiiiiies and gentlemen... the following contest is a THREE – STAGES – OF – ZELDA match for the Intergalactic Championship Commission’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIINTERGALAAAAAAAAAAAACTIC CHAMPYUNSHIP!”


MORTON MURPHY:
“Folks, welcome to the Main Event of V for Victoralicious. The Playboy had his nose broken during our last match. Thanks to the Haughty Troupe for filling in at the end but I’ve come to take the reins and drive this horse and cart to victory alongside my co-host, pain GRILLE. pain, who will walk out of Pittsburgh with the Intergalactic Championship.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Morty, you would ‘ave to t’ink zat zis match is customised for Ocho’s success but Atken’s wily, ‘e is zee survivor and when you put zee Intergalactic Championship’s fate in ‘is ‘ands... Atken will do whatever it takes to ensure zat ‘e remains zee champ.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“I have to agree with you, pain, but I don’t think Ocho should be underestimated. He’s the fastest up and coming superstar in the industry today. He has what it takes—“

[CUE: “RANDOM” by SPONTANEOUS DEVOTION hits the personal announce system and Pittsburgh roars their approval.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“And here comes the challenger now, pain.”

[OCHO emerges from the back, standing on the stage and looking around before raising both arms up, extending four fingers on each hand. The drum beat kicks in and he starts running toward the ring.]

“PEPPER” PETE PEPPINS:
“Introducing the challenger.... standing FIIIIIIIIIIIVEfeetandeightinches... weighing ONE hundredandeightyEIGHT poowwwwwwwnds... he is the Cartridge Cruiser... the 8-Bit LEGEEEEEEEEEND – LAY-YEN-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-C-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[The fans roar loudly as OCHO runs around the cage and jumps onto the new announce table that has been set-up. Which is the stand garden variety wrestling table that people are smashed through everyday. FLASH CUT-TO: MURPHY smiling like an idiot and GRILLE moving back from the table, clearly annoyed with OCHO standing up there.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Why does zis idiot INSIST on stepping on my stuff?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Quit being such a sour puss!”

[FLASH CUT-TO: OCHO playing to the fans before offering a high five to GRILLE. pain leaves him hanging but MURPHY reaches across and slaps palms with the 8-Bit Legend. He drops down to ring side and looks up at what he concocted inside of his mind.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“I ‘ope Atken drops ‘im on ‘is ‘ead. I ‘ate it when ‘e stands on my notes.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“This is the FIRST time Ocho has seen the creation spat from his video-game warped mind and it looks like it’s pumping him up.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is why kids should go outside and get fresh air. It rots your brain.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“You’re just upset he stomped your doodles.”

[Inside the ring, OCHO just stares up at the scaffold that’s in place. He then notices the ladder attached to the wall of the cage.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“This is three stages folks. Stage one: Don’t exit the cage. Get your pin or submission to win the first stage. Then there’s a ladder involved for stage two and you need to be the first to use it to get onto the scaffold. The third and FINAL stage is a scaffold match, which, mind you, is suspended TWENTY FEET ABOVE THE GROUND! And if you’re the last man in the scaff you’re the champ. Simple!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Is it? ‘ow much did it cost you to retrain zee officials for zis match?”

[CUE: “HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD” by REVEREND AND THE MAKERS. Pittsburgh’s positivity diminishes and the boos come loud and fast. OCHO, standing in the ring, turns his attention from the set-up of the Three Stages of Zelda match to the entrance. FLASH CUT-TO: the stage as the arena lights drop to a solitary spotlight on the stage. Emerging from the back, wearing a black robe which has bedazzled jewels shaped into planets and stars, emerges the Intergalactic Champion, PHIL ATKEN. He stands on the stage with his hands out from his sides, robe slightly open to show off the Intergalactic Championship belt wrapped around his waist as the spotlight drops in perfect timing with a waterfall of pyro cascading down behind PHIL, illuminating his silhouette before the entrance. As the pyros stop the arena lights return and PHIL begins to walk confidently down towards the ring.]

“PEPPER” PETE PEPPINS:
“And his opponent... from GLASGOWWWWWWWWW, Scotland... he stands SIX feetandoneinch.... weighing in at EIGH-TEE-FIVE kilograms.... the reigning INTERGALACTIC CHAMPYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! PHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-T-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

[And the boos grow a little louder. ATKEN makes his way to the cage where he stops at the door and stares up at the scaffolding high above the ring. He holds his arms out and a ring technician emerges to remove the robe from his shoulders. ATKEN turns and barks orders at him to take good care of it. He turns back to the ring, staring up at the scaffolding again before ascending the steps. Stopping at the ropes to spy OCHO, snarling as his gaze meets OCHO’s. FLASH CUT-TO: OCHO, bouncing from foot-to-foot warming up. FLASH CUT-TO: ATKEN stepping through the ropes and walking across to the referee, JARVIS JOLT, removing his Intergalactic Championship belt in the centre of the ring before thrusting it high above his head and dropping down to one knee.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“What an entrance. Phil Atken, the reigning Intergalactic Champion, whose held that title for one hundred and twenty eight days. He defeated Ocho, Sabre and Troy Matthews at ULTRATITLE: Survivalism and defeated Magnus Destructo in his first defence just last month to retain the belt. He’s considered himself the Unfortunate One but there is NOTHING unfortunate about his current title reign.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And I t’ink zat ‘e will carry it for a little longer, mon ami. I do not t’ink zat Leyenda de Ocho can defeat Phil Atken tonight, Morty.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“You’re still upset about your notes being squished beneath his boot.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Morty, Phil Atken is a grounded wrestler. ‘e knows where is strengths and weaknesses lie. Most men ‘is size are flying and flippy. Atken knows zat ‘e does not ‘ave zee same athleticism as Ocho. I would put my mask on zee fact zat Atken tries to grind one of Ocho’s knees into dust to slow ‘im down and lock in ‘is figure four.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“You don’t think Ocho’s high flying nature can overcome the technician in Phil Atken, pain?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I t’ink ‘e will struggle. Stepped on notes aside, Ocho is a talented wrestler but ‘e is young. ‘e is still green, Morty. Atken ‘as been in zat ring longer zan Ocho ‘as played Zelda.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Well, there’s one stat I would refute. We’re getting close to the action.”

[Inside the ring, JOLT calls them both over. He requests the title belt from ATKEN who begrudgingly hands it over. He shows it to OCHO who puts a hand on the faceplate, as if drawing power. JARVIS JOLT folds the straps behind the title and then holds it high into the air. Both men look up at it before locking eyes. JOLT makes his way to the cage door and hands the belt to a ring tech as ATKEN drives a knee into OCHO’s belly. Doubled over, OCHO is driven into the canvas immediately with a DDT and ATKEN climbs on board with the cover.]

***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken catches Ocho off guard! Cover!



“ONE!




“TWO!




“KICKOUT! Oh, man! Atken taking advantage right away!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Athleticism cannot defeat ring smarts.”

[ATKEN grabs OCHO by the ankle and hits a stinging kick into the joint followed by a leg drop across the elevated knee. OCHO pulls it close into his chest as ATKEN slaps him across the back of the head.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken giving Ocho the rookie’s treatement and going RIGHT to work on that knee. You must’ve coached Phil, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“No, monsieur. I just know ‘ow I would attack Ocho.”

[OCHO rolls onto his knees as ATKEN hits the ropes behind him, driving a dropkick into the back of OCHO’s head and bouncing back to his feet and grabbing the downed OCHO by the ankle yet again before dropping a knee into the side of OCHO’s knee.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken large and in charge. Drags Ocho into the corner by the ankle, foot on the bottom rope-- STOMP! Oh man! That’s gotta ache in your seventies.”

[OCHO rolls around the canvas in agony as ATKEN just shrugs at the fans to their boos. He begins to climb the wall when JARVIS JOLT draws his attention.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken momentarily losing his way thinking cage escape is applicable.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“You ‘ave to forgive zee man. Zere are SOOO many rules to remember for zis ridiculous showcase of tomfoolery.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken proves his chagrin with a boot the guts of Ocho. The Champ nailing him with a second boot in the guts. The rookie can barely draw breath.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And zat is part of zee tactical response to Ocho’s crazy T’ree Stages of Zelda, Morty. Make ‘im suffer. Reduce ‘is speed AND ‘is oxygenation. If ‘e cannot move ‘e cannot climb a ladder, cannot fly, cannot stay in zee scaffold... if we get to zee t’ird level.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken, taking a leaf from pain’s book, pulling Ocho to his feet. Irish whip into the ropes-- KNEE LIFT! Ocho flips over and lands flat on his back as Phil drops a knee into his sternum and presses his shoulders down for a cover.





“ONE!





“TWO!










“THREE!











“NO! Shoulder up! That was a close ending to stage one!”

[ATKEN, ignoring his disappointment, pulls OCHO to his feet and chops him across the throat, backing him into the corner. Another chop presses him completely into the corner before ATKEN steps onto the second rope, drops down and stomps on the right knee he’s been working away on. OCHO drops down onto the knee. ATKEN swings a stiff enzuiguri into the back of OCHO’s head and the Cartridge Cruiser is flat on his belly while the Champ shows off.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken just kicking the TASTE out of Ocho’s head, pain. The Champ is here. And he wants to leave with his title.”

[ATKEN climbs onto the second turnbuckle, raises both hands into the air, with four fingers raised, mocking OCHO before leaping off and landing a double foot stomp onto OCHO’s back, right onto his rib cage. He pulls OCHO into the center of the ring by the head before hitting the ropes and dropping onto those ribs again with a running senton.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘e is knocking zee wind out of Leyenda de Ocho’s lungs, Mortimer. I only ‘ope Ocho can last zis stage so zese fans do not leave disappointed.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Just leave the kid alone, huh? He’s deserved this spot.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oui, monsieur. He deserved zis spot... it does not mean zat ‘e is better zan Phil Atken or ‘as zee same level of smarts. Zis kind of match requires tactics and ingenuity... not just speed and ahility.”

[ATKEN, beside OCHO, does a hand stand and then lands, driving the knees into those ribs again. He bounces to his feet and pulls OCHO to his, spins behind him, lifts him up whilst bending the right leg and drives OCHO’s knee down onto his own bent knee as OCHO limps off into the corner.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Impressive ring smarts from Phil Atken. That knee breaker just rubbing salt into the wounds.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“You want some advice for Ocho, Morty? I know ‘ow ‘e can win zis match.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“How can he win, pain? Share that with us.”

[ATKEN comes from behind with a forearm, knocking OCHO against the ropes. He turns him around, whips him across the ring and leaps with a jumping knee into the chest. OCHO drops to his hands and knees sucking wind. ATKEN hits the ropes to OCHO’s left, rebounds, leaps into the air and drops a legdrop across his back flattening him out.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Just keep moving. Keep moving and make Atken chase you. Atken is more comfortable in control and on zee ground. If Ocho runs rings around him, uses zat athleticism, make Atken move, ‘e will ‘ave zee match won.”

[ATKEN pulls OCHO’s right ankle into the air and then drives the knee into the canvas. Rinse and repeat X 3. He then yanks down on the leg as hard as he can, trying to hyperextend the joint further.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“He’s going to find moving difficult in a minute, pain. Atken really trying to immobilise him. I’m sure he’s going to be having a specialist look over that knee by the time this is over with.”

[OCHO rolls onto his fours and crawls into the corner, pulling himself up using the ropes and flopping over the top rope, lifting the right leg to take pressure off it. ATKEN comes charging in toward him and he leans back and clocks him with his right foot, further aggrevating the knee joint. ATKEN topples over onto the canvas before springing back to his feet and charging again. OCHO rolls out of the corner and allows PHIL to crash against the turnbuckles chest first.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Tides have turned. Atken’s CHEST collecting those turnbuckles. Ocho pulls himself onto the second rope, leaps-- HURRICANRANA! Atken DRIVEN onto the crown of his head. COVER!





“ONE!








“TWO!







“THR-- SHOULDER UP! Atken is on his feet and he’s stomping away on that knee of Ocho.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat was short lived.”

[OCHO trying to roll out of the way, ATKEN drops onto his chest and throws punches at his face until referee JARVIS JOLT tries to intervene. ATKEN gets to his feet, offers a backhand at JOLT who steps away to his own chagrin. ATKEN turns his attention back to OCHO, reaching down to grab him by the head but OCHO rolls a foot back and snags him with a boot on the top of the head, giving him enough freedom to get up.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho stuns Atken with that boot on the noggin. On his feet. Swings a kick, Atken catches i-- ENZUIGURI! Down goes the champ. Ocho limping, runs at the ropes, springboards off the middle-- LIONSAULT! These fans are getting behind the Cartridge Cruiser.”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“LET’S - GO - O - CHO! LET’S - GO - O - CHO!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho mounting his own offense. Pulls Atken to his feet. Locks up. Exploder suplex! COVER!






“ONE!





“TWO!







“THREE!














“Kick out! Oh man, that was close. There was MOMENTS before that third strike.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ocho must be listening to my advice, Morty. ‘e keeps moving ‘e keeps on top of t’ings. Zat is all ‘e can do. Battle zee pain in your knee and zee glory of winning a title is forever!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho IS keeping the momentum moving. Pulls Atken to his feet. Rope whip. Atken rebounds. Spinning Heel Kick!”

[ATKEN hits the canvas hard. OCHO, moving with adrenaline seemingly not as phased by the injured knee, hits the ropes and launches into the air with a frontflip senton, coming down on the chest of ATKEN. The fans pop as OCHO bounces to his feet again, grabs ATKEN by the ankle and rolls him over into a single leg Boston crab.]

LEYENDA DE OCHO:
“TAP OUT, PHIL! TAP OUT!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is SCREAMING at Phil to give in and the Intergalactic Champion is in AGONY, pain. He’s clawing the canvas, trying to pull himself towards those ropes but EACH inch he gains Ocho drags him back to the centre.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is a tricky situation, Mortimer. I do not know ‘ow much technical ability Leyenda de Ocho ‘as. We ‘ave REALLY only been given opportunity to see ‘im flying around zee ring like zee monkey but zis is somet’ing else altoget’er. But zee pain point for Leyenda, Mortimer, is zat single leg Boston is putting zee strain on ‘is OWN knee. Zere is pain running t’rough Leyenda’s body and focusing on zat knee zat Phil Atken ‘as been trying to immobilise for zee duration of zis match and it SURELY must be doing extra damage to ‘im as well as zee damage it is doing to Phil.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“KEEN insight from the Toasted Terror as Ocho STRETCHES that hamstring, STRETCHES that lower back of the EYE-GEE champ. Atken is hurting.”

[JOLT checks in on ATKEN as OCHO’s head bangs back and forth encouraging ATKEN to tap. The pain is evident on OCHO’s face as he strains to maintain the grip. ATKEN attempts to roll over from side-to-side but OCHO anchors his bearings down and keeps it applied.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is just WILLING Phil Atken to tap out. He is willing him with EVERY inch of his body and you can SEE the agony on OCHO’s face as he strains to keep Atken trapped in that tortorous hold.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘e just ‘as to ‘ang in t’ere, Mortimer. Zat is ALL ‘e can do. ‘e’s going to be relatively slowed down from applying zis move so ‘e wants to makes sure zat ‘e ‘as slowed down Phil Atken, too.”

[ATKEN continues the tactic of rolling side-to-side and a twinge occurs in OCHO’s leg as ATKEN gives one almighty roll to the left and he has no choice but to release as he limps away. ATKEN pulls himself up to his feet by use of the ropes, clutching his lower spine as he notices OCHO barely putting weight on his right foot.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Is he hurt, pain? Do you think he’s done some serious damage in his right knee?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“It’s ‘ard to tell, Mortimer. ‘ERE COMES PHIL!”

[ATKEN charges like a man possessed. OCHO drops the shoulder and tosses ATKEN over the top rope into the and into the wall of the cage.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken flipped into the cage by Ocho. Ocho is struggling to keep weight on that right leg. Grabs the top rope, to stabilise, right in front of Atken. Jumps, using the rope for leverage... SINGLE LEG MOMENTOUS KICK TO THE ATKEN FACE!”

[OCHO rolls over onto all fours, clearly pained in his right knee as ATKEN clutches his face, kicking around like he’d been electrocuted. OCHO grabs ATKEN by the wrist and pulls him into the ring. Struggles to his feet and grabs ATKEN by the ankles and then hot shots him into the cage wall to a massive pop from the fans.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is FIGHTING adversity. Something happened to his right knee and you can see it’s causing him some discomfort.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“You need to dig deep when you’re injured if you want to win. ESPECIALLY if you are fighting for zee title.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“And it’s not just ANY title, pain. It’s the Intergalactic Championship and the Intergalactic Champion has found himself a HELLUVA competitor and adversary in Leyenda de Ocho.”

[OCHO rising to his feet as ATKEN doesn’t move, arms flopped over the top rope. Something sparks in OCHO, and he charges the ropes behind him, noticeably limping as he charges toward PHIL, leaping with one foot onto the small of ATKEN’s back and then landing a legdrop across the back of ATKEN’s head driving his throat into the top rope, bouncing off and hitting the cage wall.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“OH MY GOD! OCHO just drove Atken’s THROAT on the top rope with that crazy legdrop thingy after using ATKEN as a step ladder before EATING steel cage. Talk about putting your body on the line.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Just as I said, Mortimer. Dig deep. You want to be zee Champion you need to dig deep into your soul and FIND zat somet’ing to keep your fires burning.”

[Dragging himself to his feet, OCHO stares into the ring as ATKEN flops around like mad clutching his throat. A cut has opened up on his chin and blood runs down onto his chest. He pulls the top rope and leaps onto it, springboarding with a crossbody press onto ATKEN and then grabbing the leg for the cover.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“OCHO DIGGING DEEP! COVER!







“ONE!










“TWO!










“THREE!”







[ATKEN bursts his shoulder up off the canvas at the last moment to the Pittsburgh natives boos.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Oh man! That was a close call. Shoulder up on TWO point NINE NINE NINE! Ocho slaps the canvas in frustration. These men are giving their all here, pain.”

[OCHO heaves ATKEN to his feet and applies a front facelock, preapring to lift, ATKEN hooks his leg around OCHO’s. He reverses and lifts OCHO up and rushes toward the cage wall, turning and driving his vertical suplex variation into the cage wall. The fans can’t help but cheer as OCHO falls down between the ropes and the cage wall.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“AMAZING reversal from Atken. Vertical suplex into the cage wall. Atken climbs to the rop rope, stalking Leyenda de Ocho as he SLOWLY rises to his feet.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“What is ‘e up to?”

[OCHO pulls himself to his feet as ATKEN leaps, catching him with a diving DDT into the apron. ATKEN hits his head against the cage wall as he drives to top of OCHO’s head into the apron.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BY GAWD! Diving DDT on the apron and, pain, you can tell the people at home, that’s not a spot you want to be DDT’ed onto.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Morty, zat is a bad spot because zee padding and zee ring supports meet zere. Zee protection is virtually not’ing. I would prefer taking a DDT on zee exposed concrete zan zee apron.”

[ATKEN rolls under the ropes and pulls OCHO under the bottom rope into the center of the ring and makes the cover.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“COVER!










“ONE!














“TWO!
























“THREE!”







[The fans pops loudly as OCHO kicks out at the very last opportunity. ATKEN bursts to his feet, shoving JOLT away from him, thrusting three fingers into his face. JOLT shoves him back and holds up two fingers.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Former wrestler, Jarvis Jolt, now an IGCC official, will NOT take that crap lying down.”

[OCHO rolls around clutching his crown in pain. ATKEN returns to OCHO, pulls him to his feet and whips him into the corner. He charges in behind and leaps into the corner with a clothesline that’s echoed by the boos of the Pittsburgh fans.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken PUNISHING Ocho for kicking out. In the corner. He’s lifting him up onto the top. FRONT FACE LOCK!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘e’s going for zee superplex!”

[ATKEN attempts to launch but OCHO blocks it. He hits a punch in ATKEN’s gut. Followed by another. ATKEN throws one back but OCHO rains one back in. ATKEN’s facelock releases and OCHO cups the back of his head and nails punch after punch as the crowd counts and get to eight before ATKEN falls from the top onto his back in the centre of the ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“ATKEN DOWN! ATKEN DOWN!”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“ACK-CHOO-LIE-ZARR! ACK-CHOO-LIE-ZARR!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“AAAACCCCCCCCCCCTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-LIZAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR”

[OCHO flies from the top and nails ATKEN TOP ROPE corkscrew quebrada and the fans explode. FLASH CUT-TO: kids in the front row wearing OCHO masks high-fiving each other. FLASH CUT-TO: OCHO clutching those damaged ribs of his as he claws across the ring to lay on top of ATKEN.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Leyenda de Ocho FLIES from the top. And now he’s covering Atken!
















“ONE!





















“TWO!
































“THREE!”


























***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“LEYENDA DE OCHO WINS STAGE ONE! OCHO WINS STAGE ONE! BY GAWD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat Actualizar just destroyed zee Intergalactic Champion and Leyenda de Ocho ‘as zee first stage under ‘is belt. And you ‘ave to say, Morty, zee ladder match suits Ocho. ‘e ‘as already won a ladder match ‘ere in zee IGC.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“And Ocho straight back into it. He’s climbed onto the top rope, balancing as best he can with that dodgy knee and he’s disconnecting the ladder from it’s latches to get stage two out of the way.”

[Undoing the second clip, OCHO holds the ladder across his body, back to ATKEN. He then falls back and throws the ladder backwards, delivering a fallaway slam to the ladder and driving it RIGHT onto the fallen PHIL ATKEN to massive cheer that nearly brings down the Palumbo Center.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BY GAWD! OCHO GIVES THE LADDER A FALLAWAY SLAM ONTO PHIL ATKEN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“ZOOT ALORS! Zat was AMAZING!”

[OCHO gets to his feet, sore from toppling backwards onto the canvas, raising four fingers on each hand into the air to another pop. ATKEN lays beneath the ladder as OCHO charges at the ropes for what looks like another Lionsault but when he leaps onto the second rope he just turns in the air and lands a double foot stomp onto the ladder.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! Ocho getting down and dirty!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Man alive! Phil Atken, lying beneath that ladder, has it STOMPED into his chest and he’s in agony beneath the ladder!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ocho knows zat to beat zee devil you need to find your own demons to unleash. Zis is a good start!”

[OCHO lifts the ladder up and leans it against the corner. He pulls ATKEN to his feet and Irish whips him across the ring.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BY GAWD! Ocho with the Irish whip into the steel ladder. Atken is in a bad way. The challenger has favour on his side and Atken has PAIN!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Why is zee cage still around zee ring?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“It appears as though my designers FORGOT how the cage walls would be removed but JArvis Jolt is opening the cage door.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oh good, ‘e can let some air in.”

[OCHO takes advantage of the door being opened, slips out and lifts the apron to grab a chair. He slides it back inside the ring and sets it up in the centre of the ring before getting a run up.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho taking crazy to the extreme. Setting up that chair. Running full speed. He leaps off the CHAAAAIIIIIIRRR-- FRESH AIR! STEEL LADDER!”

[ATKEN drops and rolls out of the way as OCHO leaps off the chair, attempting to hit a leaping leg lariat but coming up with nothing but steel ladder. He bounces off and to the floor as ATKEN pulls himself to his feet with rope aide.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“That leg lariat came up SHORT and Leyenda de Ocho is in some agony, pain. He hit that steel ladder with that right knee.”

[OCHO clutches his knee in pain as ATKEN moves closer to the steel ladder. He lifts it up, holding it across his body, and runs through the back of OCHO. The output of this move is a pile of tangled bodies and steel ladder.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“Sacre bleu! Atken just ‘urt ‘imself in zee process of trying to destroy Ocho. Zey are bot’ just lying zere in zee middle of zee ring.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Well, it might pay for you to know that this match has already been going for twenty minutes, pain, and these two have two stages to get through. Ocho has a busted chin, damage to his ribs and chest and God only knows what kind of damage Phil Atken has done to Ocho’s right knee.”

[ATKEN is the first to stir. Sitting up amidst the carnage. OCHO is rolling beneath the ladder. ATKEN gets to his feet and pushes the ladder away, pulls OCHO up to his feet and then whips him into the corner before lifting the ladder above his head and sliding it down around his waist and holding it up like some strange steel skirt.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“What on EARTH is Phil Atken doing, pain?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I don’t know, mon ami. ‘e is an intriguing beast.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken, backing up a few steps and-- CHARGING FORWARD!”

[Running at full speed, ATKEN inside the ladder charges forward smashes it into the ribcage of OCHO. The impact sends PHIL bouncing back across the ring. OCHO drops flat on his ass, gasping like a fish out of water. Pittsburgh roars their approval.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“BY GAWD! DIDYA SEE THAT?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! Phil just charged zee steel ladder into zee ribs of Ocho and ‘e is STILL sucking wind greedily. Zose ribs must be close to bursting t’rough zee chest of Ocho. Zey must be ‘anging on by zee t’read.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken near snapped himself in half to snap Leyenda de Ocho in half and I’m not sure he came out of this almost as worse off as Ocho but at least Atken can move.”

[Wriggling free of the confines of the steel ladder, ATKEN pulls himself to his feet by use of the ropes, clutching his ribs with one arm. OCHO sits flat on his ass staring across at PHIL, gasping desperately for air not even able to clutch his damaged ribs.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho just trying to catch his breath. Atken on his feet. Stomps from Atken. Stomping. Stomping. Stomping. Trying to make sure Ocho doesn’t move a muscle before he ascends to the scaffolding.”

[ATKEN pulls OCHO to his feet, drives a knee into his belly and falls back with a DDT. Gets to his knees and rolls OCHO under the bottom rope and out the open door of the cage, pulling the door shut behind him.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho rolled out of the ring to the outside and Phil Atken can concentrate on setting up the ladder up and entering the third stage of the match and closer to retaining his Intergalactic Championship title and setting an extremely relevant record as being a true champion.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘e’ll add at least a couple more weeks onto his reign before ‘e ‘as to face Magnus Destructo.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“That’s if Ocho can’t defy the odds. Ladder upright. Atken on the first rung. When you’ve gone through this match insanity climbing a simple ladder can take it out of you and Atken has been drained already by the craziness this Three Stages of Zelda match has brought.”

[As ATKEN begins his slow ascent onto the first rung, OCHO sits up ringside, seeing that he’s been trapped outside the cage. ATKEN looks up and makes a weary step to the next rung of the ladder. OCHO pulls himself to his feet using the apron.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho up. Atken climbing. The Champ ascending one step closer toward retaining his Intergalactic Championship, pain. Ocho is on the outside and he doesn’t look like he’s up to it.”

[OCHO shaking the cobwebs spies ATKEN making the transition between the next few rungs and locks his hands on the side of the cage.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“What’s Ocho doing? He’s climbing the outside wall of the cage. Atken doesn’t even realise.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I ‘ave no idea what goes t’rough Leyenda de Ocho’s ‘ead, Morty. ‘e is a surprise packet EVERY time ‘e gets in zee ring.”

[OCHO seems to scale the cage wall a little easier than PHIL does the ladder and as ATKEN makes it half-way up, OCHO is already two-thirds of the way up the outer cage wall.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is higher up the side of the cage. Atken just needs to keep moving to claim the second stage, pain. Once he climbs that ladder and ascends into the scaffolding he has made it to Stage Three.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And zen ‘e ‘as to await zee arrival of Ocho before zee t’ird stage can start, correct?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“That’s spot on, pain. Ocho has scaled the outside wall in it’s entirety pain and he’s looking hesitant as thoughts flash through his mind as to what he needs to do next.”

[OCHO tightrope walks the top of the cage wall as ATKEN makes it to the top of the ladder. OCHO crouches down and leaps up with all his might, grabbing onto the scaffolding. The fans cheer loudly as OCHO begins to maneuver towards ATKEN.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is like a monkey hanging from that scaffolding and making his way across to Phil Atken. He’s hanging right above Phil. I’m not sure what he’s doing. He cannot win the second stage by getting into the scaffold off of the cage, pain. You need to get onto the scaffold from the ladder.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Somet’ing tells me Ocho ‘as ot’er plans, Morty.”

[ATKEN, furious, tries to swat at the legs of LEYENDA DE OCHO as he attempts to get onto the scaffold. OCHO, right above ATKEN, drops down and locks his legs around ATKEN, twists his body and the pair fall to the canvas as OCHO drives ATKEN’s head in with a hurricanrana.]

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“BAAAAAHHHHH GAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWD! HURRICANRANA! HURRICANRANA!”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“THIS - IS - AWE - SOME!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“THIS - IS - AWE - SOME!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“THIS - IS - AWE - SOME!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken must be DEAD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“‘urricanrana is a devastating move ALL on it’s own, Morty. But from ten or twelve feet above zee ring... you can only IMAGINE what’s going t’rough Phil Atken’s ‘ead.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“His spine, probably. Ocho sits up and he looks like he’s out of it, pain. But he’s pulling to his feet. He gets to his feet and begins to ascend. If Leyenda de Ocho enters the scaffolding, pain, we will have a NEW Intergalactic Champion. A NEW Intergalactic Champion, pain, and all of Leyenda de Ocho’s dreams will come true as he holds onto the first gold of his wrestling career.”

[OCHO is slow on his feet. That right knee seems to have began to bother him again as he climbs onto the first rung. ATKEN hasn’t even stirred yet. OCHO climbs higher as Pittsburgh buzzes loudly.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“This is what the Intergalactic Championship is all about, pain. An epic battle to crown our champion and Leyenda de Ocho is etching forward to write his name in the annals of professional wrestling history.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Atken is sitting up, Morty.”

[Clutching his head in both hands, ATKEN nurses the pain and screams maniacally at it is if it would make it go away. He looks around the canvas and cannot spy OCHO. He looks up and his eyes boggle out of his head.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken has only just realised that Leyenda is scaling the ladder and he’s moving slow, pain. That knee. Those ribs. His WHOLE - BODY must be screaming at him to stop. His whole body. All except his heart. His determination. It DRIVES him higher. It drives him to the scaffold, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And Phil Atken is on ‘is feet and I am SURE ‘e will ‘ave somet’ing to say about Ocho getting to zee scaffold.”

[ATKEN rushes around to the otherside of the ladder and begins to scale, climbing as fast as he can, eventually matching OCHO’s level on the ladder. The ascend together and get to the top where they both begin to trade punches wildly.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“There’s a boxing match at the top of the ladder. Ocho. Atken. Trading blows wildly. This is insanity.”

[ATKEN begins to get the upperhand on the blows. He rains a devastating right hand on OCHO which sees LEYENDA losing his balance. He sways and tries to hold on but his equilibrium is pushing him backwards. He somehow twists before falling and leaps off the ladder, landing on the cage wall like a little monkey. The momentum of his leap is enough to send the ladder toppling backwards and ATKEN rides it towards the cage wall and leaps off himself, leaving both men clutching to the cage walls.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Tremendous ring awareness. Both men were going to fall to their doom, pain, but ingeniously have managed to cling to the cage walls by sheer WILL alone. And they’re both ascending to the top of the cage.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Top of zee cage can only lead to trouble for one of zese two superstars, Mortimer. Zey are both showing COMPLETE disregard for zeir bodies.”

[At the top of the cage, both men make their way toward the other. Balancing gently on their feet as they meet and they begin to exchange punches again. Driving hard fists as the whole arena silences and waits with baited breath for something to happen.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Both men, teetering on the top of the cage, exchanging nasty blows. This is NOT gonna be a good day for one of these two.”

[OCHO’s fists begin to come out on top, nailing ATKEN again and again until ATKEN drops down to one knee and swings his arm upward between OCHO’s legs right in the groin and the arena erupts into chaotic boos at the Intergalactic Champion.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zat is where Atken is zee genius, Morty. ‘e knows what it takes to win zee title. We saw at Sorry You’re Not a Winner when he pulled zee tights. We see it now with zee low blow. Who knows what we’ll see next week but Atken takes opportunity and makes it WORK for ‘im.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho on his knees, clutching his Sega Megadrive, and these fans are NOT pleased.”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“YOU’RE - AN - ASS - HOLE!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“YOU’RE - AN - ASS - HOLE!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“YOU’RE - AN - ASS - HOLE!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

[ATKEN bows at them before grabbing OCHO and turning him upside down, moving carefully so he’s facing the ring area with OCHO hanging in his grasp.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“WHAT’S HE GONNA DO? WHAT’S HE GONNA D-- PILEDRIVER! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIILEDRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!”

[Stepping off the cage wall, PHIL ATKEN drops down into the ring below and drives OCHO’s head into the canvas with a piledriver that bursts Pittsburgh to their feet in a raucous cheer.]

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“EYE - GEE - SEE! EYE - GEE - SEE! EYE - GEE - SEE!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“BAAAAH GAAAWWWWD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ocho is not moving, Morty. Zat piledriver drove ‘is ‘ead into zee canvas and ‘e is LIFELESS in zee ring. ‘e’s not even twitching!”

[XXXTREME CLOSE-UP: PHIL ATKEN’s face with a sadistic grin across it. Still sitting on the canvas with a folded up OCHO in his lap. WIDE SHOT: ATKEN shoves the broken OCHO off his body and rises to his feet. He claps his hands together to rid them of the filth of OCHO before wiping his feet beside the crumpled OCHO’s head.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken, the Champ, just smashed Ocho to smithereens and all there is left to do is ascend. Climb that ladder. Head into the scaffolding and prepare yourself for stage three of this contest. Leyenda de Ocho SURELY cannot overcome this kind of adversity.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Taking a shot like zat is not easily overcome, Morty. Zat is a move zat can stay with you for your ‘ole career.”

[ATKEN stands the ladder up and begins to ascend to the scaffolding, taking his sweet time. OCHO has not moved.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken, climbing higher. Moving closer to the goal of retaining his championship. I can’t believe what we just saw.”

[Finally at the top of the ladder, ATKEN reaches up and grabs onto the scaffold, pulling himself up onto the plank.]

***DING! DING! DING!***

MORTON MURPHY:
“He’s done it! He’s won the second stage of this contest, pain. Phil Atken and Leyenda de Ocho have EACH won a stage of this match and if anyone said to me at the start of this we’d be one all with Ocho winning the wrestling stage and Atken winning the ladder stage I’d have told you that you were dreaming.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“In my own ‘ead, I t’ought it would ‘ave been vice versa, too. Atken is the purer wrestler, Morty. I t’ought if any stage of zis match proved to side wit’ ‘is strengths it was zee cage. But ‘e ‘as shown zat Ocho is not zee king of zee ladder.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“And if he WERE the king, pain, he was just unceremoniously dethroned.”

[Inside the cage, officials enter to see if OCHO is okay. A crowd of them gather around him, covering him from the camera as they fuss over him.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Medical staff seeing if Ocho is able to continue on. Look at Atken... he’s STRUTTING on the scaffold, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“And ‘e SHOULD, Morty. ‘e just killed Ocho. If Ocho comes back from zis ‘e ‘is in NO shape to take down Phil Atken. Zee Champ shall retain. Zee Champ shall win. Ocho ‘as not’ing now whet’er ‘e quits or ‘e stands up. Phil Atken will STILL be zee champ.”

[FLASH CUT-TO: ATKEN strutting Flair style along the scaffold boards. FLASH CUT-TO: the medical group surrounding OCHO. One of the medical staff falls backward. Another goes tumbling forward. Grabbing a shoulder of another medico, OCHO heaves himself to his feet. He shoves another EMT away as Pittsburgh bursts to their feet cheering loudly. Staggering punch drunk around the ring, OCHO stumbles into the ladder and looks up.]

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH-CHO! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH-CHO! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH-CHO!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“THE CHALLENGER IS ON HIS FEET AND PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA, ARE ON THEIR FEET! THEY’RE DEAFENING, PAIN! I FEEL LIKE I’M SHOUTING!

PAIN GRILLE:
“YOU ARE SHOUTING!”

[FLASH CUT-TO: ATKEN eyes boggling as he looks down. He shakes his head as we FLASH CUT-TO: OCHO stepping onto the first rung of the ladder. He climbs another and the fans grow louder and louder.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho fights on. Ocho climbing the ladder. Atken is not impressed. Atken is irate. He thought Ocho would never stand from that insanity but here they are with Ocho getting closer to the scaffold for the third stage to begin.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I still don’t t’ink zat Ocho can overcome zat shot, regardless of zis ‘ole arena rallying be’ind ‘im.”

[OCHO, at the top of the ladder, leaps up and clings onto the scaffold with both hands. ATKEN immediately storms over, stomping at OCHO’s hands, trying to stop him from getting up. OCHO begins to swing back and forth on the platform. ATKEN freaks out from the movement and scurries away to cling to supports. OCHO swings a leg up and pulls himself onto the platform, staring across at PHIL.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken looks remarkably uncomfortable up there on the platform, pain. Did you see the reaction he had to Ocho shaking the platform?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I did not know ‘e ‘ad a fear of ‘eights. Zis is somet’ing I never took into considerations. Ocho looks quite comfortable.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho and Atken, face to face on the scaffolding.”

[OCHO gets in ATKEN’s face and they’re having words. ATKEN shoves OCHO. OCHO shoves ATKEN. ATKEN goes to shove OCHO but LEYENDA simply stomps his foot down on the platform of the scaffold which shakes the whole structure, sending ATKEN reeling back towards the supports he clutched moments ago.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The Intergalactic Champion is COMPLETELY out of his comfort zone. Ocho charges, high knee into ribs of Atken. Atken doubled over and DDT from Ocho on the scaffold. Atken’s down.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“If Ocho ‘ad ‘alf a brain ‘e would be trying to roll Atken off zee scaff at any given opportunity.”

[OCHO gets to his feet and tries to wrench ATKEN to his but the Champ clutches at the platform and makes it difficult to be lifted. OCHO tries to toss ATKEN off sideways, regardless of him clutching to the sides but ATKEN throws a boot that catches OCHO on the chin and causes him to stumble back, teetering on the opposite edge of the scaffold waving his arms to maintain his balance. The fans gasp in unison.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho’s losing his balance! Will he fall? Oh man. The suspense is killing me.”

[OCHO regains his balance. ATKEN on his haunches, rubbing his head, sees OCHO in the vulnerable position and strikes with a kick. But OCHO catches it. ATKEN swings with an enzuiguri but OCHO ducks underneath it, still holding the leg, and rolls across the platform with a dragon screw legdrag that’s foiled by ATKEN madly clutching at the opposite side of the platform to stop the momentum.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Quick thinking by Atken, clutching the platform to avoid being tossed off. My heart is in my throat, pain.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ocho was quick t’inking zere, Morty, but zee Champ was quicker. ‘e knew where zat was going and quickly used ‘is brain to outsmart zee challenger.”

[Both men back on their feet, OCHO charges at ATKEN who dips the shoulder and launches OCHO into the air and toward what looked like over the edge but OCHO manages to catch ATKEN by the head as he goes over him, pulling him back with him and stalling his momentum. It drives ATKEN backwards down onto the platform as OCHO’s grip breaks and his legs go over the side. As he slides away he desperately grabs at the edge of the platform, dangling dangerously.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“OH MY GOD! Ocho QUICKLY and DESPERATELY grabbed onto the edge of the scaffolding and I don’t know what the Hell I just saw but all I can call it is desperation.”

[ATKEN sits up, rubbing the back of his head as LEYENDA clambers a leg over the side. On hands and knees, ATKEN scurries over and tries to shove the leg off as OCHO gets his underarms over the edge. ATKEN pushes harder but OCHO swings a wild punch that catches ATKEN in the face. And another. He throws punches wildly as he tries to pull himself up.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Intergalactic Championship hanging in the balance, pain. Hanging in the balance. Ocho is dangling off the side of the platform and Atken is trying to throw him to his demise.”

[ATKEN continues, trying to shrug off the punches but one catches him hard enough on the nose to bust it open and crimson sprays down his face. Momentarily blinded by tears in his eyes, ATKEN rolls onto his back and pinches his nose to clog the bleed. OCHO heaves himself onto the platform, mounts ATKEN’s chest, and begins to smash fists into the already bloodied nose almost manaically.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho baying for blood! Atken trying desperately to cover his face but Ocho rains them down. Ocho up. STANDING MOONSAULT! BY GAWD!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“INSANITY! Why on Earth would ‘e do zat up zere?”

MORTON MURPHY:
“For the Intergalactic Championship, pain. Why else?”

[Rolling on the platform, clutching his damaged ribs, OCHO takes a moment to gather himself as ATKEN clutches his own abdomen in agony. OCHO sits up and crawls over to ATKEN, grabbing his legs and trying to toss them over the side of the scaffolding but ATKEN stings OCHO’s face with a kick. They both rise to their feet, charge at one another yet ATKEN raises the knee into OCHO’s breadbasket, doubles him over and lifts him before driving him into the platform with a brainbuster that shakes the scaffold’s entire foundations.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken with the brainbuster! Ocho is down. Ocho is down and Atken has him by the ankl-- IT’S A FIGURE FOUR! IT’S A FIGURE FOUR!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Figure four leglock at zee top of zee scaffold and Leyenda de Ocho is a complete world of hurt!”

[OCHO roars in agony as his pained, now probably injured, right knee is twisted and contorted in the figure four applied by ATKEN who is pulling hard on the move with everything he’s got just wearing down the 8-Bit Legend.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Figure four on top of the scaffolding and Leyenda de Ocho is going to struggle to move that leg IF he ever moves it again.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Atken knows zat removing Ocho’s mobility is zee key to winning zis contest, Morty. ‘e KNOWS zat Ocho not moving equals winning.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho is tapping, pain. Ocho is tapping for Atken to release the hold but there is no escape. Tapping in Stage Three means nothing and the final boss for the Cartridge Cruiser is proving to be a difficult task for the rookie to overcome.”

[OCHO’s hand slaps the platform in agony as ATKEN grins maniacally beneath the strain of applying the hold. OCHO tries to sit up to strike ATKEN but the agony is too much. ATKEN locks it down harder and harder as the pain drives through OCHO’s right knee.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken waged a war on Ocho’s right knee, pain, and he’s trying to end the revolution of the young upstart. That pain has got to be too much to overcome. That agony has got to be tearing him apart. The pain. The torment. The Intergalactic Champion is doing exactly what he told Ocho he would do. He would give him the pain that makes him question whether he has what it takes to be the best in the world.”

[OCHO’s head begins to drop to the platform as ATKEN pulls harder. OCHO begins to fade as the fans start to rally behind him.]

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“LET’S - GO - O - CHO!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“LET’S - GO - O - CHO!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

“LET’S - GO - O - CHO!” (clap clap clapclapclap)

MORTON MURPHY:
“Pittsburgh are rallying behind Leyenda de Ocho as he fades. He’s fading out. He’s dropping off.”

[OCHO’s head hits the platform and he barely moves at all. ATKEN relinquishes his hold just a little bit to look up and check on OCHO but can feel the fight dropping out of his body.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“I think the pain and the torture of the figure four leglock has proven TOO MUCH for Leyenda de Ocho. He’s down. He’s out. The wily veteran has done i--”

LEYENDA DE OCHO:
“RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

[OCHO sits up with his last ounce of strength and smashes and axe-handle over the top ATKEN. ATKEN flails backwards, sits up and OCHO sits up again and smashes another axe-handle down onto ATKEN’s scalp that forces him to relinquish the hold a little bit more for OCHO to kick his legs out of it.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! OCHO IS ALIVE!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“ZOOT ALORS!”

[OCHO gets to his feet, gingerly standing on his right leg as ATKEN bounces to his. ATKEN and OCHO lock up, OCHO pulls him down into a side headlock and drops him with a bulldog on the platform and the fans pop loudly.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“RISKY move from Ocho there. He scaling the steel structures holding up the scaffolding. He’s out of his mind. What on EARTH is Leyenda de Ocho doing?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“SACRE BLEU! SAY IT, MORTY!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“AAAAAAAACK-CHOOOOOO-LIZAAAARRRRRRRRR!”

[OCHO lands across ATKEN’s guts with his modified Actualizar and Pittsburgh pops loudly. OCHO bounces off with one leg hanging over the scaffolding. ATKEN clutches his ribs as OCHO rolls onto his back and clutches his own abdomen.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho somehow dug deep after that figure four leglock and here he is with the momentum in his favour. Both men rising to their feet.”

[OCHO rises first, helping ATKEN to his feet so he can rattle him with a stinging right. He hits him with another which is returned with a right from ATKEN. They exchange some rights before ATKEN begins to push OCHO back into the scaffold steel supports. OCHO swings a right, ATKEN catches the arm and smashes OCHO’s elbow into the steel supports.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“OH! Drives that elbow into the steel. Ocho’s in pain. Atken not relinquishing the hold-- SMASHES that elbow on the steel again! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Ocho’s in a bad way.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“I cannot t’ink as to why ‘e is focusing on zee elbow of Ocho.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Now the wrist! Atken smashing Ocho’s wrist again and again into the steel. Ocho hits Atken with a stiff left elbow that forces him to release the punishment. CLOTHESLINE FROM ATKEN! Ocho is down.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zee only reason, I can t’ink of, for Atken to work zee arm is to make it more difficult for Ocho if ‘e is ‘anging off zee side.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken, the Intergalactic Champion, pulls Ocho’s right arm out and STOMPS ON HIS HAND! THIS IS BRUTAL!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Oui. I am right, mon ami.”

[ATKEN drives another stomp down onto the extended hand of LEYENDA DE OCHO before turning away and gloating to the fans, showing them a belt gesture.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“The sick mind of Phil Atken, taking Ocho’s right arm out of the equation. This is crazy.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is genius from zee champ, Morty. LOOK AT OCHO!”

[OCHO gets to his feet and charges at ATKEN, leap frogging onto ATKEN’s shoulders from behind and nailing a flurry of punches down onto ATKEN’s head with his left hand. ATKEN falls back onto the scaffolding platform with an electric chair drop and both men bounce off the platform and hang off the side. ATKEN on OCHO’s right side, as OCHO hangs by one arm.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“OH MY GOD! ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP AND NOW BOTH MEN DANGLE FROM THE SCAFFOLDING! OCHO BY ONE ARM!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Zis is where zee tactics of Atken come to play, Morty. Zis is genius from Atken.”

[ATKEN, maneuvers around behind OCHO and drives some headbutts into the back of OCHO’s head as he hangs off the platform. Each headbutt into the back of OCHO’s head is as devastating as the next and you can see him struggling to remain there with one arm. Every time he tries to use his right you can see the pain shoot through his arm before he removes it again.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Ocho can’t take the weight on his right arm. The pain is excruciating. He’s hanging there by one arm. Atken is trying to move across to the left arm.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Atken only ‘as one Ocho arm to contend with. Ocho cannot ‘ang on for much longer. Phil still ‘as BOTH of ‘is arms to use.”

[Having moved around behind OCHO and to OCHO’s left side, ATKEN studies the environment as he plans his next move.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“What is going through Phil’s sick mind?”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Well, if ‘e wanted ‘e could climb up on to zee scaffolding but Ocho could still manage to get up onto zee platform. ‘e is a fighter.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Atken doing some sort of chin up-- HE’S BITING OCHO’S WRIST! HE’S BITING HIM! HE’S BITING HIS WRIST!”

PAIN GRILLE:
“CANNIBAL!”

MORTON MURPHY:
”OCHO IN PAIN! IN AGONY! HOW MUCH CAN HE TA-- DOOOOWWWWWN GOOOOOEEEESSSSS OOOOOOOOOOO-CHOOOOOOOO!”

PITTSBURGH, PA:
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

MORTON MURPHY:
“ATKEN RETAINS! ATKEN RETAINS!”

[OCHO lands in the ring, on his back, to a massive groan from the fans. FLASH CUT-TO: ATKEN swinging his leg up onto the platform and raising his fists high above his head with his head thrown back in exhaustion, coated in sweat before looking down into the ring. FLASH CUT-TO: EMTs rushing into the cage to attend OCHO, who lays flat on his back staring up at ATKEN. FLASH CUT-TO: ATKEN, hands by his sides, staring down into the ring with a sadistic look on his face.]

MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken, the Intergalactic Champion, manages to use his guile to evade the world yet again and retain that championship and Leyenda de Ocho stares up from the bottom of his mind’s creation to see he came up short AGAIN against the man here in the IGCC; Phil Atken.”

PAIN GRILLE:
“Ocho gave everyt’ing ‘e ‘ad but sometimes you need to accept zee darkness and do what it takes.”

MORTON MURPHY:
“Pittsburgh ain’t happy. Ocho is down but the Champ is on fire. WHO CAN DEFEAT HIM? That’s all we’ve got time for tonight! THANKS FOR WATCHING!”

[FADE-OUT: on PHIL ATKEN laughing to himself as he stares down at the fallen OCHO. Fade into...]
igc-mini.png
 
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