Hart NFW Debut
(Scene: The ever-confident, ever-controversial WFW champion, Shawn Hart, is strolling the red carpet at the premiere of a poorly produced Hollywood B-movie, in which the Phenom makes a cameo appearance. Before entering the theatre, he stops for a short interview with one of the wrestling dirt sheet reporters he recognizes...)
Hart: "Loooooook out, hombre! WFW champ in the house!!"
Reporter: "Well if it isn't the Phenom! Congrats on the new movie, Shawn..."
Hart: "Merci, mon ami!
*he pats the WFW title belt draped over his right shoulder* How's about this new hardware, huuuuuh?"
Reporter: "Yeah, that's really quite the accomplishment, but I'm actually here to ask you about NFW."
(Hart's hands rush to his temples as he squints with pain. He looks up at the reporter in confusion...)
Hart: "NFW?? What..... ....what are you talking about?"
Reporter: "Our readers just don't seem to understand how you can have so much success everywhere else you wrestle, but look so horrible in your quest for the Ultratitle."
(Hart takes a step back, as his body begins to shake...)
Hart: "But... I've never wrestled for NFW.."
Reporter: "What do you mean you've never wrestled for NFW? You've been labeled by many as the biggest bust in New Frontier's history!"
Hart: "I'm.. not in NFW!!"
Reporter: "Yes you are!!"
Hart: "No I'm NOT!!"
Reporter: "Are to, are to, are to!"
(Cue Up: Some creepy trance music...)
Hart: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Suddenly, Hart bolts away from the theatre and into the streets! As he continues to run down the dark, rain-covered alleyways of the city, he sobs with frustration. As the Phenom reaches a dead-end, he falls to his knees, then cries out into the dark night skies. Fade to black.)
__________
(Cut To: Hart, standing in the front yard of his sprawling Orlando, Florida estate. Decked out in polka dot boxers and a Spice Girls t-shirt, he pulls his monthly issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated out of the mailbox. The cover reads, "Phenom less than phenomenal in New Frontier Wrestling!" and features a picture of Hart being dropped on his head by Eli Flair. Shawn looks down at the magazine, then off to the distance...)
Hart: "How can this... be.... I've never... I mean I....
(Cue Up: More creepy trance music. Shawn gulps down nervously, covers his eyes, then looks back up...)
Hart: "It's not true... NOT TRUE.... ....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Shawn angrily throws his mail into the street, and dashes back into his house, sobbing. Fade to black.)
__________
(Cut To: A downtrodden Phenom, lying on the couch in his psychiatrist's office. A look of horror covers Shawn's face as he and his doctor watch THIS footage on tape...)
O’Connor: “Well, Manson really worked that neck. As you saw in the opening of the show, Mike Manson was able to nearly break Shawn Hart’s neck off his spine with that TR Sitout Powerbomb.”
H’Wood: “When Manson smells blood like a neck injury, it doesn’t take him long to go for the kill.”
O’Connor: “After that move, Manson delivered a vicious ‘Sweet Dreams’ Stunner which knocked Hart out long enough to get tied down by those streamers attached to his ring attire in the coffin.”
H’Wood: “I don’t even think that was necessary. But you know Manson, he’s a very meticulous person. He wants to make sure the job is done ‘right’.”
O’Connor: “Michael Manson was able to get 10 points on the board heading into next week where he’ll team up with division leader Eli Flair. Shawn Hart meanwhile has to find a way to come up successful next week, or he’s still at 0 points through the first quarter of the season.”
(The psychiatrist stops the tape. Shawn puts both hands over his face and shakes his head in disgust. He then attempts to collect himself, and sits up in the couch...)
Hart: "I can't believe this... You're my shrink, how could I have not known? How oculd this happen to ME?!"
Doctor: "Somnambulism, Mr. Hart... with a touch of Schizoaffective disorder."
Hart: "Somma what now?"
Doctor: "Heh, sleep walking, Shawn. You see, it is my theory that, due to an overabundance of stress in your daily life, you've developed this sleeping disorder, and prehaps even hallucinogenic episodes..."
Hart: "Hallucinations?! Whaaaaa???"
(Cut To: The Phenom at his home, resting soundly in his bed. Suddenly he sits up, his eyes still closed, and proceeds to get out of bed. Just then, his closet doors swing open and a shadowy figure emerges...)
Hart: "Wha??? Uhhhhh....
*drools*.... who.... WHO are you?!"
Mysterious Figure: "Hello, Shawn! I'm [link:
www.wheeloffortune.com/bios.pjw?cat=about&id=12|Pat Sajak]!!"
Hart: "Pat....... Sajak?"
Sajak: "Yes Shawn, and if you want to solve this puzzle, there's something you'll have to do for me first."
Hart: "Can I buy a vowel?"
Sajak: "You sure can, but before you do that... I want you to pack up your gear, go to NFW, and wrestle Michael Manson.....badly."
Hart: "Will I get a free spin?"
Sajak: "You sure will, Shawn!! Now go lay on your back like the girly man you are!"
(Shawn begins to pack a suitcase, his eyes still closed, his body swaying from side to side as he packs...)
Hart: "Yesss... master.........."
(Cut back to Hart and his psychiatrist. Shawn falls to his knees and begins to weep, once again. Cut To: An aerial shot of the Phenom as he holds his arms towards the cieling...)
Hart: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(As Shawn's doctor shakes his head, then begins to write out a prescription, we fade to black.)
__________
(Cut To: A gloomy Shawn Hart in his living room, sporting a purple bath robe, hair curlers, and a facial mask, as he watches the latest episode of Days of Our Lives...)
Hart: "I can't believe I let this happen. As far as New Frontier Wrestling is concerned, Shawn Hart ain't nuthin but a two-bit jay-bird. I dunno if I can even call myself the Phenom anymore!!!"
(As Shawn bathes in his pool of self-pity, the front doors of his house suddenly burst open! Standing there, in the doorway, is none other than spiritual advisor [link:www.garyspivey.com|Gary Spivey]!!!!)
Gary Spivey: "Phenom Shawn Hart, I've come to help you!"
Hart: "WHOA! Gary Spivey of the Psychic Friends Network?!"
Gary Spivey: "Yes Shawn, yes. I'm Gary Spivey... and I can't believe I just heard you say those awful words!!! ................... ..........that you said!!"
Hart: "But Gary, I've lost 3 weeks in a row. I'm a bigger disgrace than California's ploitical scene! How could I ever recapture that jiggy freshness?"
(Inexplicably, Spivey seemingly pulls a small mirror out of nowhere and displays it for Hart...)
Spivey: "Shawn, I want you to look into this mirror, and TELL ME who you see!!"
Hart: "I see Shawn Hart..."
Spivey: "NO! No you don't, Shawn! Look a little bit harder..."
Hart: "But I..."
Spivey: "LOOK! Because if you look hard enough, you won't see just Shawn Hart, you'll see the PHENOM!!! Now tell me WHAT YOU SEE!!!!!!!"
Hart: "I see.......
*gulp* I see.... the Phenom?"
Spivey: "YES!!! You see the Phenom, Shawn!!!! ..............................because you are the PHENOM!!!! .................................Shawn!!!!"
Hart: "I see the Phenom!!!!"
(Cue Up: "Gonna Fly Now" from the Rocky movies...)
Spivey: "Say it to me, Shawn!! Say it to me loud and proud!!! OVER AND OVER!!!"
Hart: "I AM THE PHENOM!!!! I AM THE PHENOM!!!"
Spivey: "LOUDER!!!"
Hart: "IIIIIIIIIIII...... AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-uhhhhhhhhh..... the PHEEEEEENOOOMMMMMMMM-uhhhh!!!"
Spivey: "Yes, YES!! And what are you going to do next week?"
Hart: "I'm gonna beat Sean Stevens!!"
Spivey: "WHO'S gonna beat Sean Stevens?!?!"
Hart: "THE PHENOM'S gonna beat Sean Stevens!!
Spivey: "Yes, GREAT!! THE PHENOM'S GONNA BEAT SEAN STEVENS!!!!!!!!!! ........Now touch my head."
(Hart stops in his tracks...)
Hart: "Excuse me?!"
Spivey: "FEEEEEEEEEEEEL my hair in all it's brillo pad goodness!!!"
Hart: "Eww."
(Gary Spivey, spiritual advisor, puts his arm around Shawn's shoulder, then looks at him with a shine in his eyes...)
Spivey: "I think you're ready now Shawn, ready to be the PHENOM once again! Come now, let's get ready for this match!"
Hart: "You got it, nnnnnnnnnndaddio!!! Ultratitle, HERE I COME!!"
(Fade to black.)
Experience the AWAKENING of the PHENOM....... THIS WEEK on CRASH TV!