A Gift from God
Picture it: Detroit, Michigan, 2002. It's a hot summer night. Cars and people walk the streets of downtown Detroit in front of the Fox Theatre. Inside the lobby we find "God's Gift" Dean McQueen standing in front of the pizza vendor. He has somehow obtained a microphone.
McQueen: We're only days away from GLCW First Wave at the Hobo Arena, right here in this pathetic hole called Detroit, Michigan. I don't think there is one good thing ever to come out of Detroit. The Lions lost their first ten or so games, the Tigers couldn't get a penant if their lives depended on it, and the Pistons choked in the first round of the playoffs. The Redwings are the only team Detroit has than can remember what it's like to win, but with their coach and goalie retiring, they won't be remembering what it's like to have the Stanley Cup very long.
Jared Poe, you should fit in here quite well; Detroit is lousy with losers like you. I can't say I know anything about you, but the word in the locker room is that you like to torture yourself. You love being exposed to pain and suffering. Well, Jared, consider me God's Gift to you, because if there is one thing you're going to get in our match, it's pain and suffering, and you're going to receive it in abundance. The only reason you have for coming to the ring is to receive the inevitable beating that awaits you, so that you might try to forget about all of the things in your horrible life that make you so depressed and miserable that you like to inflice pain upon yourself, and put yourself through the misfortune of facing me.
As far as I'm concerned, if anyone in this tournament has any ideas about winning, you may as well pack up your bags and go home right now. I'm God's Gift to GLCW. Heck, I'm God's Gift to Wrestling, period! Not only am I the most talented athlete in GLCW, I'm the only talented athlete in the GLCW! I'm the only reason anyone is going to bother to show up for GLCW Heat Wave. If it wasn't for me, the GLCW wouldn't even be opening right now, because nobody out there would have bought their tickets to come to the show and put their money in Scott Malec's hands! I have no idea what I'm doing in the midcard, but I'm sure that once the bookers see that I'm the GLCW's only true big draw, and that I'm the only worker with ring ability, charisma, and the Superstar Look, McQueen strikes a vain pose they'll put me right where I belong: in the Main Event, by myself, letting all of those fans out there adore and worship me as the Gift from God I am.
Poe, at GECW Sound Wave, take one Last Look, because that's the last thing you're going to ever see again.
[/i]Dean McQueen grabs a piece of pizza from someone standing next to him and takes a bite. He chews it slowly and gets a disgusted look on his face before spitting it out. Fade to black.