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Flash vs. HardKnockz vs. Golde vs. Dragonsblood



Golden Celebration

{A barechested Elden Golde is seen stumbling backstage carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and Diamonique in the other. Both Golde and Diamonique are hysterically laughing as they stroll past the camera. Obviously coming in from a heavy night of celebration, Golde drops Diamonique back onto her feet and plants a huge kiss on her, Diamonique girlishly responds with giggling. They continue down the hallway passing rows of dressing rooms and finally stop at a door with a large black sign reading "JJ HardKnockz."}

Golde: "Hey D, look at me, I'm JJ Hardknockz."
{Golde continues his not-so-flattering impression of JJ Hardknockz as he leans face first against the door. He then begins to pound on the door and starts screaming out Hardknockz name. Golde starts ramming into the door headfirst and falls to the floor in hysteria}

Diamonique: "Elden, let's go, he's probably out with one of his boyfriends."

Golde{Now sitting on the floor}: "No! I am not leaving this spot until I speak to JJ Hardknockz. I have a match with him and I just want to let him know that I am not going to take it easy on him or either of those two other men lovers that I am embarrassing at Onslaught.

{Golde stands up and regains his footing}

Golde: As a matter of fact, I could fight them right now and I could still not even break a sweat. Ya Know, I am sick and tired of me, "Primetime" Elden Golde, the crowd-filler, the main event, is stuck in these matches with losers like Kelly Clarkson and Dragonporn. Honestly, what are these people thinking? I am the premiere talent of the GXW and I'm being forced to touch these grimy excuses for wrestlers. We've got Andy the Flasher who thinks he's Gay Aikens. I mean he couldn't even beat me if my hands were strapped to my dong. Speaking of having your strapped to your dong, let's talk about JJ Hardknockz. For JJ Hardknockz, getting in the ring with me is the closest thing to getting any since he "discovered" himself in the sixth grade. And what the F*** kind of name is Dragonblood. Your probably just one of those 35 year old men who sits in his parents basement playing card games and wearing a cloak, referring to yourself as the Dragonmaster. And yet the GXW calls these people contenders, opponents. This isn't a match, this is a waste of my talent. Ya' know what I think about these idiots that the GXW has forced me to even come close. Hold this D"

{Golde hands Diamonique the bottle of champagne, turns around and the sound of a zipper emanates from his crotch. The sound of a stream of liquid smashing against the door is closely followed by a flow of urine forming underneath Golde as he grunts loudly. Diamonique falls to the floor holding her stomach in laughter. Golde turns back around and quickly zips up his pants.}

Golde: That feels much better. Now to the three of you, I offer you all the same choice that I offer to all my opponents. You can either step into the ring with me and have me urinate all over you or just walk away. All you have to do is not show up. When your music cues up over the arena and you don't show, the fans will all know that you were the one peeing backstage, wetting yourself in fear. So remember JJ, Andy, n' Dragon, that there are no possibilities, but only certainties. There is no possibility of you winning and no possibility of you leaving that ring uninjured. And this is not a possibility, but this is a certainty. This is my promise to you and all the adoring fans of Elden Golde that when you step into the ring with The Golden One, The Main Event, The Crowd-Pleaser, Seat-Filler, Highlight of the Night, OOOOOO Hell that's Right, "Primetime" Elden Golde, you WILL lose!"

Diamonique: "Because he is good as Golde."

{Elden Golde quickly clenches Diamonique close and smashes the champagne bottle against JJ HardKnockz dressing room door and the two walk away laughing. The camera zooms in on the shattered glass bottle and fades to black.}

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