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Experience is Overrated


Jan 1, 1970
*KATZ NOTE - I swear, I'll get him to sign up on these forums, I swear!*

(CUTTO: Standing up in a crummy boy’s bedroom, the leather jacket-wearing Kid Chameleon, yes, those sunglasses are still intact, and an X-Box 360 controller in his two hands. He finishes up with a series of kills on Call of Duty and then tosses the pad onto the bed behind him.)

“Alex…cool name. It’s the only cool thing about him. Isn’t ‘Experience’ the dullest nickname ever? Whoah…look at me…I’ve got experience. Big deal.

“Experience is overrated anyway. How long have you been wrestling? It’s what you do with it that counts – that’s what my partner and best friend, Paul Sanders, tells me.”

(Paul’s nickname is ‘The International Playboy’ which explains Chameleon’s reference.)

“I hear you look down on wrestlers – we’re the same height, so you can’t do that to me, but the difference is I stick out. Rockstar Spud’s knocked my look off. You’re just average.”

(Steady on a bit, Kid. He’s classically-trained!)

“Average Alex Austin has got a better ring to do it and it’s just as unspectacular as ‘Experience.’”

(But does that make it better or worse than ‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders, no relation to Kid’s partner, Paul?)

“Why do you think you’re superior to pro wrestlers anyway? You’ve been trained by MMA guys? You can make us tap out? Let me tell you…I’ve made them all tap out: Brock Lesnar, Frank Mir, Chuck Liddell, Tito Ortiz, the two Silvas, Chael Sonnen, Kenny Florian, BJ Penn, Georges Saint-Pierre– they’ve all tapped out to Kid Chameleon.”

(Have they? Never seen that on Wikipedia.)

“I’m undefeated. I’m that good. No one can take me. I went through all of them in an hour, they all practised their door-knocking techniques on the mat and went home with a broken ankle or elbow. Not one of them got anywhere near me. I am the undisputed champion on UFC Undisputed three.”

(Ah! Well, that makes much more sense even if it’s hardly awe-inspiring.)

“But the men I respect are real men. They didn’t tap: Zangief, King, Jax, Wolf Hawkfield, Mike Haggar, E Honda, Scorpion, Ryu and Liu Kang – they never submitted. They fought to the death.”

(Real men? I guess they’re real to him, dammit!)

“Alex Austin…you’ll have seen it all and done it all if you’re called ‘Experience.’ Well, in Berlin, you’re in for a different experience, courtesy of the World’s Greatest Gamer.

“I’m button-bashing my way through every one, one at a time, until I meet the Final Boss, Rook Black. When I get there, I won’t need a second life or a reset button. Rook, you say there isn’t a way to beat you, but I find a way to win and I don’t need any cheats, tips, hints or a walkthrough to do it.”

(I’m sure Rook’s quaking in his boots.)


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