Double Duty

[jediPREZ]

FADEIN: 'COCKY' CRAIG MILES standing in white tee, ripped jeans, no shoes and blue Oakleys. He pulls out a cigarette, lights it and blows a ring at the camera...

MILES: "Y'know when I first looked at the lineup, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Right in front of me I saw that I get to face the all-time punk in Troy Windham in the main event, but ALSO served up as an appetizer to myself is the all-time blowhard in 'Mr. Magnificent' Tom Adler and a possible Presidential title to go along with it."

(MILES grins and takes a drag...)

MILES: "Now, I'm not gonna lie to you the fat, overweight viewer of CSWA television. The thought of walking into the ring with Tom Adler before the main event has gotten me thinking. I started thinking that Chad Merritt was a crazy man because by the time I was done with Mini-Mark, Adler and Southern, my match at Battle of the Belts would be at least two short. Then I started thinking that maybe a trap was being setup by crazy old Chad, possibly he's getting smart in recognizing his only true threat are the Intruders. Well, if its a trap being setup - it's a trap worth walking into 'cause ever since Pretty Boy Tom made his appearance back by having his boys put me on a stretcher, I've been waiting for some one on one personal time for some payback."

(MILES takes another drag and blows out a ring...)

MILES: "Tommy Boy - I'm not coming for that Presidential Title. Fact is, I don't really care about it. If I pin you in that ring, if I knock you out - it's just an added bonus if that title comes back with me. I just want to watch you bleed, I just want to break some of your bones, leave some nice scars on that face. But I also just want to leave enough, so I can see your wounded dog eyes look away from me at Battle of the Belts."

(MILES takes a big drag, flicks the cigarette away and blows the smoke into the camera...)

MILES: "Y'see Tom, me and you just never have seen eye to eye on anything. For 10 years we've butted heads and here we are once more, standing across from each other at the Crossroads. The more things change, the more they stay the fu(BLEEP!)in' same. I don't like you, you don't like me - and for the lucky viewer in Virginia Beach, that means they get to watch 'Cocky' Craig and 'Mr. Babbles' brutalize each other as much as they can. Sorry to disappoint 'ya Tom, but this isn't going to be about the 'wrestling,' which you've been so lucky to go through with superstars (MILES rolls his eyes) like Cameron Cruise, Larry Stanley or Evan Ayyyyho. Nope, I'm comin' old-school style, Tom. Just bringing my bare fists to punch you in the mouth, and my bare feet to start kickin' your (BLEEP!). So Tom save your long-winded history lessons on who you are, 'cause I know who you are. Just bring it, Tom...'cause PROFESSIONALLY speaking, I know I am."

(MILES pulls out a cigarette and lights it...)

MILES: "Oh and Tommy, if you're planning on bringing some friends as usual...'cause we know how you hate to show up at these things, alone...well, I'm sure I can find them some seats in the Third Row."

(MILES snickers and exhales smoke at the camera...FTB)

 

[Packschmid]

Since I'm Gonna Be In Town...

(FADEIN: GUNS sitting in his ranch in San Antonio, shaking his head.)

GUNS: Well, I take a card off, start slumming a bit in A1E to keep from getting bored, and look what happens - Eddie and Craig almost lose their titles to Evan Aho and JJ Deville? And then Merritt, out of the goodness of his heart, returns the belts to us? Well, Chad, that was mighty sweet of you - but I think you and I both know that this whole Evan Aho handicap match scam was a little ploy to see if you could embarrass the I's a little bit, and it worked. JJ DeVille stuck his nose in, you got to watch an Intruder take a bogus three count and then "screw" Evan Aho by taking the belts back from you. You got to have your cake and eat it too.

And now, you've decided to play some more games with the Intruders. First of all, you make me leave the friendly confines of my ranch to come all the way to Richmond, Virginia, to defend my ten pounds of tin against a curtain jerker who calls himself the "Muffin Man" - and then you book On Time in the same general area and try to book Craig Miles twice? (Grins.) Shrewd.

Now, I'm not saying that Craig's not up for the challenge. What I'm saying is - why should he get to have all the fun? Craig's eyes seemed to light up real big at the prospect of fighting Tom Adler in the main event, and far be it for me to take that away from him. Craig, you want Mr. Magnificent, you got him.

(Smiles.)

But that means I get to play Tag Team champion for a day, and On Time's ratings get a spike, because for the first time since San Antonio all those years ago - GUNS and Troy Windham get to stand on opposite sides of the ring. Doesn't that add a whole new twist on things for the beach crowd? (Grins.)

Shane Southern - Mr. Goody Two Shoes - you made the biggest mistake of your life when you said "No" to the offer we made - now it's time for the CSWA's new "Odd Couple" - the 2003 version of the famous wrestling magazine cover - Shane Southern holding a carton of milk, Troy Windham with a heroin needle sticking out of his arm - it's time for you boys to stand up and face the music.

Hot Property's been a little quiet - probably trying to beat GTA Vice City, but he'll be ready to go once we hit the beach. Kind of like D-Day at Normandy - the Intruders are gonna hit the beach, and Mr. Goody Two Shoes and the self-proclaimed Mr. CSWA are gonna try and hold us off...it may be a bloody fight, but when it's all said and done - when the smoke clears and the dust settles - we will hold the beach, and you will be buried in the rubble.

You expected double duty, but instead Third Row, Inc. is butting in. That's the Intruder way. I've invited myself to the party now, boys, and there's nothing you can do to stop it now. And Shane, you can spare me the "Party's Over" line. You beat me once - good for you. Can you beat me twice? Don't bet on it.

 

[TWhitefield]

You know, Craig, to the average mark watching your promo they'd think that you and I had been at each other's throats for a decade or more. But, if the truth be told, you and I haven't really crossed pathes all that often.

Really, Craig, if you think about it... we've pretty much run in different circles our entire careers. Oh, Craig Miles has had his run-ins with the <>X to be sure. But, to be honest, Craig, I don't really remember you and I ever wrestling a one-on-one match. Seems you always had or wanted something that Tully and Ern had or wanted far more than me.

So, when you come out here telling people there's this great hatred between us, what you're really saying is that because of whatever friction there is between Eddie and I that you think it somehow or another rubs off on you.

Well, if you wanna take up Eddie's fight, that's your cross to bear, not mine. Frankly, Craig, the only thing that bugs me about you now is that a few years back there was never any question who the dominant figure was in that team you were in. These days, there may still not be much of a question, but the answer is a little bit different, isn't it. But, again, that's your cross, not mine.

So, we come to this. A match thrown together for no reason other than to push a match nobody asked for yet is destined to happen for no reason other than to satisfy Merritt's whims.

My bones will break and my face will bleed. Hey, if that somehow gets you through the day and puts you over with Eddie, whatever. It's not like we both haven't spewed and snapped more for this sport than any ten guys put together. I've been from Third Row to the cheap seats and every place in between. I doubt you can do much more to me that hasn't been done umpteen times over before. Maybe a little better... maybe not. But, certainly no different.

So, come on, Craig, save the first grade rumble threats for the playground, ok? You and I both know that neither of us is buying 'em.

And, considering the crowd you've been running with and the effect they've had on your matches, it's not likely you really wanna go there either.

So, I'm gonna dispense with the threats and simply lay it out on the line. For ten years you've proven yourself to be one of the dominant players in this industry. And, given the right partner, I doubt there's any team you can't beat. Me? I can probably count on my fingers the number of tag matches I've won. But, like I said at the beginning, Craig. You and I run in different circles. And, as great a tag team wrestler as you may be... I'm an even better singles wrestler. And, simply put, you don't quite have what it takes to beat me.

See ya at On Time.

-Adler

 

[jediPREZ]

...like sand in the hourglass, these are the days of our lives...

(FADEIN: 'COCKY' CRAIG MILES sitting in an airport lounge smoking a cigarette.)

MILES: "Well, look who the cat dragged in. (MILES looks at his wrist with no watch on it) And just in the nick of time as usual, Tommy. Well, I should be shocked at what I've heard...but who are we kidding? Once again, Mr. Magnificent has graced our presence and just told us how wrong we are and how right he is. It's a vicious circle in your world, Tom. Fact is, you and I don't like each other for a whole lot more reasons than some tag team feud from the mid-90's. I mean, who are you kidding Tom? Your very entrance into this pisshole of a federation came at MY expense. I was the one you wanted to put out on a stretcher. I was the one leading some vast conspiracy in the wrestling world to blackball you from this sport...which was a load of bull(BLEEP!) And then what did you do? You didn't run in any circle as I recall...you just seemed to run away from finishing what YOU started. Like everything else lately in your career, it was just another half-(BLEEP!)ed attempt at recapturing some of the glory you USED to have."

(MILES shakes his head and laughs)

MILES: "Face it Tom, you're the one that didn't want this match 'cause what I have to say is a whole lot closer to the truth than the fits of denial we've watched you fight for the past 7 years. SEVEN YEARS, Adler - that's the LAST time you meant anything in this sport. Me? I've revolutionized the indies, I've revolutionized tag team wrestling and now I'm about to revolutionize the CSWA. That's a whole lot more than sitting in a damn warehouse, pretending to be some B-list movie character and pretending to blow myself up. I won't even go into your Mission Impossible stunts...(MILES rolls his eyes) Boy THAT went over."

(MILES takes a drag and blows out a smoke ring)

MILES: "And you can talk all you want about how I'm the lesser half of the Professionals - frankly, I don't care 'cause EITHER Professional can kick your (BLEEP!) any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Don't think I'm in this 'cause of Eddie, Tom. Ever since the day you decided to rearrange my neck I've been waiting for the chance to give you a little payback. You might have forgotten why you came here, Tom...lord knows, just like everything else in your career the whole blackball scheme lasted 15 minutes. But I haven't forgotten, Tom. I haven't forgotten being sent out on a stretcher, I haven't forgotten that you weren't man enough to call me out face to face and I certainly haven't forgotten how you tried and now have tried again to tarnish MY name and the respect I earned."

(MILES puts out a cigarette and walks towards a gate reading 'SWEETWATER, TEXAS')

MILES: "For two years you've been running in circles to avoid this, Adler. All the Cameron Cruises in that well have dried up and it seems that Chad thinks you're ready for the big boys. Lord knows, you would never initiate a match you have a shot at losing. So talk big, Tom...talk all you want about how you're still this great singles wrestlers, when you haven't won a big match in seven years. Frankly, I see through your bull(BLEEP!) and at ON TIME - so will the rest of the world."

(FTB as MILES boards a plane for Sweetwater)

 

[TWhitefield]

Gotta love a good history lesson, Craig... even if it is a revisionist version.

I came to this federation to put you on a stretcher? Ummmm, sorry, Craig, but I was here for a friggin year before you and Eddie decided to grace us with your presence. And, I was the first one to stand up and admit that I was on my way out the door until that point. So, don't think you're coming out here divulging some big revelation, because you're not.

You wanna come out here and cry about being carried out on a stretcher? Funny, I don't hear you talking about jumping ME in a two on one a couple of weeks before. Oh, but we've gotta remember, when you do it, it's "Must See TV." When somebody does it to you it's time to cry foul, right? And, for the record, the reason YOU were carried out on that stretcher is because your partner was too busy leaving cheek marks on the ramp way saving his own butt to actually care what was happening to you.

I told you then... just as I'm telling you now. YOU started that. We responded. The ball was and continues to be in your court. But, no, you were too busy wrestling Simply Stunning five hundred times to be bothered. Too busy "revolutionising" a tag team division of two with decade old tag lines and schemes we passed over as being too lame ages ago.

I haven't won a "big" match in seven years? Maybe. But I HAVE beaten everybody they've thrown in my face for the better part of a year including the current and former champion. I've pretty much been dominating the singles division in this company at the same time you and Eddie were wondering how you could weasel your way into another two on one title defense.

But, I'll give ya this much, Craig... after On Time, you'll still be able to come out here and say "Tom Adler still hasn't won a big match in seven years." I'll only have beaten you.

-Adler