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Just Like Law-Jesus
May 15, 2005
The wrong side of the bong slide.
For background please see the end of NFW SUPERCrash II: Dawn of a Revolution.

(FADEIN: From complete darkness to the sketchy outline of a room. SFX: Beep. Beep. Beep. The sounds of a heart monitor. The camera fade progresses until we are able to discern this location as a room in Baptist Memorial Hospital in Memphis, TN. A calendar of mountain flowers is flipped to the month of November 2008. The camera shot pans around the room briefly. ZOOMIN: A man, easily identifiable as TEAM Champion of Champions NOVA by his wild white-streaked blonde hair and woolly beard, lies motionless in the bed, a large white plastic halo holding his head and neck firmly in place.)

(SFX: Knock, knock, knock. CUTTO: The door to the room. Without soliciting an answer from the EAGLEstar the door opens and JESS CHAPEL steps inside, dressed casually in a collared shirt and jeans. He hovers cautiously for a moment inside the doorway.)

JESS CHAPEL: “Is it as bad as they say? Is it…as bad as it looked?”

(Eerie silence. No movement from the bed.)

NOVA: (Through gritted teeth) “It’s as bad as they say…but not as bad as it looked.”

(The silence broken, JESS moves in closer, walking up to the side of the bed and putting a hand on the rail.)

JESS CHAPEL: “I’m trying to refrain from a ‘severance package’ joke right now…”

NOVA: (Laughing, followed by a groan) “Agh…f*ck you…”

JESS CHAPEL: “I’m sorry.” (Putting a hand on NOVA’s arm) “You’re a good guy, Chris. You’ve been one hell of an asset to TEAM these last couple of years. Miles and Mayfield…they’re THUGS, Nova. Associate with them long enough, they’ll…you can’t…ah, you don’t need to hear that from me. I came down here to let you know how much we all appreciate you flying the TEAM banner and getting behind the place…”

NOVA: (Eyes narrowing) “What’s with the eulogy, JC?”

(CHAPEL casts his eyes downward, shifting his weight from leg to leg. He looks over at the Championship of Champions in a chair by the end-table.)

JESS CHAPEL: “I, uh…I really hate to do this now, Chris. After what just happened to you in NFW, and…well, it’s just a big bunch of sh*t, but we’ve gotta deal with it.”

NOVA: “What the f*ck, Jess, SPIT IT OUT already.” (Eyes shifting over to the belt in the chair) “What’s going on?”

JESS CHAPEL: (Taking a deep breath) “We, uh…they’ve asked me to strip you of the Championship of Champions due to injury.”

NOVA: “Pffft! D’you tell ‘em to go f*ck themselves?”

JESS CHAPEL: “Hehe…yeah, I…” (Raising eyes to NOVA) “I said I’d come down here and get it.”

(Silence. The cliché deafening kind.)

NOVA: “Jess. No.”

(CHAPEL walks over to the chair and picks up the most coveted prize in TEAM.)

NOVA: “Don’t you…” (Shaking somewhat in bed, obviously immobile) “PUT THAT F*CKING THING DOWN! Jess! Put it down, man. This isn’t…this isn’t going down this way. Not like this, you walking in here, me wired up like a schmuck…”

JESS CHAPEL: “This isn’t what anyone wants, Nova. This…”

NOVA: “BULLSH*T. What is it, ratings? Huh? I’m still hanging onto that belt after two years through everything and they don’t think people want it anymore, is that what they think?”

JESS CHAPEL: (Sighing) “No offense, Nov, but it’s been a year and a half, and in that year and a half you defended the CoC three times, so let’s not make this out to be some kind of…”


JESS CHAPEL: “You’re angry. I get it. This isn’t…”

NOVA: “Oh, I’m not angry. I’m PAST angry. I’m a f*cking VOLCANO ready to beat some f*cking sense into Management…”

JESS CHAPEL: (Eyes narrowing) “Yeah? Well, I’m Management and somehow I don’t see you pulling yourself up out of that bed to stop me from walking out of here with OUR belt – yes, TEAM’s belt, Nova.” (Eyes soften) “Look, I’m sorry. But we have a company to think about, a company that’s seen some pretty hard times recently, and we have to push forward out of this slump with all hands on deck, all pistons firing…we have to move on, and you’re laid up at the WORST possible time…”

NOVA: “F*cking tell me about it…”

JESS CHAPEL: “I’ve done what I can do. I came here to tell you in person and to take the strap and tell you what you’ve meant to the brand. I did that, and now I have to get back. There’s a lot of work to do. Take care, Chris. Good luck.”

(CHAPEL turns and begins walking towards the door. NOVA mutters something, causing him to turn his head.)

JESS CHAPEL: “What did you say?”

NOVA: “Randalls. Finally…I had Randalls. He won the Invitational and I held onto the CoC and FINALLY I WAS GOING TO F*CKING SETTLE THIS!!!”

(CHAPEL walks to the door and opens it.)

JESS CHAPEL: “Randalls will still be there when you come back.”

NOVA: “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this, Jess. This isn’t right.”

(CHAPEL exits the room, leaving NOVA alone staring after him.)

NOVA: “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this! JESS!! IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS!!”

(But there’s no one there. NOVA’s arms tremble and then relax, causing him to sink back against the hospital bed. His eyes are locked on the empty chair. FADETOBLACK.)

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